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Mike is a genius, by providing a good night for Joyce, he totally ruins Joe’s night. That guy has the ability to be a jerk and nice at the same time, good show Mike
You know, this universe’s Mike does seem like a nicer guy than the walkyverse version. Past one “your mom” joke on his notes, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of jerkiness to him.
I was going to make a comment about how there isn’t anything Mike wouldn’t do for money, but then I realized… He gets to spend the entire night “blocking” Joe. He’s probably doing this for free.
It’s hard to tell cause Joe’s not standing up straight, but Mike’s kind of a scrawny guy compared to Joe. If a fight actually broke out, I’d bet on nonpowered Joe over nonpowered Mike.
Not that Joe’s gonna fight Mike.(Waits for meme to activate)
i say joe wins when you hit on that many women sooner or later you find a jealous boyfriend who wants to pound on you, if you don’t stop after that your either a moron or you won the fight
All the hoopla about what would win out on this date. Joyce’s cuteness, her naievte, her religion, Joe’s penis. In the end it is as it was and always will be. Finish them! Mike. Wins. Hillarity!
The chaperone part did not surprise me. That the chaperone is Mike does. How did she even meet him? I doubt she would’ve found him between that morning and this night.
Well, they did have a class together at one point. And they seem to have known each other on twitter before that, so presumably they met earlier.
As for why she decided to hire him as a chaperone, your guess is as good as mine. Maybe, for all her naivety, she’s just a fantastic judge of character? =D
I could see this being Mike’s idea just as much as Joyce’s. Think about it, he would be conning Joyce out a some payment, he would get to block Joe, and he would have the possibility of doing something devious during the date. It could be… the perfect storm.
I am afraid that Joyce is secretly a manipulative, scheming individual, bent on finding a trophy husband to support her throughout life. This has all been intentional: picking Joe, who at that point had demonstrated only the shallowest interest in women, and then sucker-punching him with the questionnaire. He then had to follow through with a date because HE IS JOE, whereupon he was disarmed by the dress. But to dash any hopes of his that he was still in control of the situation, Joyce brought along Mike.
Joyce has her marital dreams, but she appears less naive than we thought at first. This relationship will move along at the pace she has planned, and Joe will be helpless to do anything but follow along. Go Evil Joyce!
Cops are overgrown children cosplaying War, with all the rest of us forced into their stupid, childish game without our consent, consuming vast funds from the public treasury and ruining lives by the hundreds of thousands.
unknown@collie.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
I cannot get over these cops wearing night vision to arrest a dude on a Southwest Airlines flight in broad daylight.
a woman posted a pic in a group chat of a baby turkey she bought thinking it was a chicken. She captioned the pic "IS THIS A TURKEY?!?"
Anyway, I haven't been here because I've been yelling IS THIS A TURKEY at everything. You should try it
y'ever figure, hey, i should put joyce in bisexual flag colors for this storyline, but you also figure, hrm, that might telegraph things 8 months in advance, so you... add orange stripes and... it works, somehow it works, nobody points out the pink/purple/blue
Jonathan Joss being shot outside his home while protecting his husband after being sent a threatening and distressing package is WHY we need Pride
It's 2025 and people are still being shot and killed for being queer
This is why we march and why we fight
the thing about white liberal Americans is that they'll argue to accept bigots into their tent before accepting the bigots' targets.
the targets that have been on the same side as white liberals from the jump.
John Redcorn was pretty much the only contemporary Native representation I had in comedy growing up. Probably the funniest Native character in cartoon history and a lot of that was on Jonathan Joss' pitch perfect rezzy uncle performance. RIP to one of the best to ever do it.
today in #9chickweedlane i learned that, yes, lolly is so edda 2.0 that she's even wearing her mother's wedding dress as she gets married to Her Dad (But Taller)
unknown @collie.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
ETPC @etpc.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
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I wonder what his rates are? Probably higher than your mom’s.
He’ll guard your mom for a nickel.
And then bang her.
Or was it the other way around?
It’s actually he’ll bang you and your mom at the same time, then guard your mom from you for a nickel. It’s a very complicated formula.
Either way, he’s overpaying.
…with his penis.
I always thought that you were johnny bravo as a kid
Oh Joe you have no idea what you got yourself into
hahaha
Man, that must have been a fun conversation, I hope Amber and Ethan were around for it.
shoe chose a good chaparone. but i wonder how much he charges.. a mom, 2 moms?
Finally, more screen time for Mike!
It’s like my momma always said, “The more Mike the better.”
With his penis.
HAHA! HA! OH, WOW!
Um.
I laughed out loud. A long hearty throat laugh, rich with knowing amusement.
That’s the best kind of laugh.
… Clever girl… seems Sarah’s worries were unfounded after all.
lol, after being with dina (in Its Walky), and seeing that i cant help but laugh
Looks like Joe is going to get his threesome after all!
That’s not the kind of threesome he wanted. At all…
But you know there are readers out there who would love it all the same.
I believe that it would count as NoYay for him.
And the required TVTrope link: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NoYay
Welp. That sure killed any happy feelings inspired by the dress.
With his penis
HAHA! That is *PERFECT*!
Best use of a Mike.
anyone else imagining Joe being the next one to yell “damn you Willis!”
right after Sidney Yus, by the way, has she made a sighting yet?
Great into for Mike
Fortunately for Joe, the chaperone is Mike and not Ruth, who in this universe is much more of a person you don’t want to cross, like EVER. 0_0
I don’t know, this could be a real chance for Mike to be himself. That is to say what the fandom has decreed that he should be.
Hm… now that got me wondering– who would win in a fight between Mike and Ruth…. other than the readers, that is…
MIKE & RUTH SHIPPING ACTIVATE NAO
YES YES YES YES YES
SQUEEEEE!
Bwhahahaha! Take that Joe!
It seems that Sarah should have been more concerned about Joyce breaking Joe rather than the other way around.
Mike!!!!!!!!!!!
Is the Chaperon there to keep Joe under control or to keep Joyce under control?
Yes.
Vat a tveest!
Perfect! It caught me off guard just like a good twist should!
With his penis.
That’s on the business card.
Mike Warner – Professional Chaperone
Keep your hands off the goods and I keep my hands off your throat.
Holy crap! I want to see the meeting where Joyce hired him….
*slow clap* Well played.
I absolutely didn’t see that coming. Hilarious use of a Mike.
This.
Good call Joyce!!
Yes….just so much yes
Excellent move, Joyce! Lol. Aw, Mike. <3
i never thought i would feel sorry for joe…
Mike just sucker punched Joe’s mojo.
That’s probably his payment. Or at least the beginning of his payment.
He did it with his penis.
Mike is a genius, by providing a good night for Joyce, he totally ruins Joe’s night. That guy has the ability to be a jerk and nice at the same time, good show Mike
It would be most jerk if he really provided a good night for joyce if you know what I mean.
then pretended to forget it or something. They can both have ruined nights.
I’d be for that.
I haven’t laughed so hard at a Willis strip since Batman mastered DDR.
i thought that was a replacement Batman ???
http://www.shortpacked.com/2005/comic/book-1-brings-back-the-80s/06-mrs-greg-killmaster/a-63/
You know, this universe’s Mike does seem like a nicer guy than the walkyverse version. Past one “your mom” joke on his notes, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of jerkiness to him.
It’s not just Mike – several of the characters seem to be less extreme versions of their “classic” selves. Joyce in particular comes to mind.
BAM!! Who called it??
Mike ain’t gettin’ none of that! Not if Mr Chaperone has anything to say about it.
I wonder who he is to Joyce in this alternate continuity…?
But what about Joe? Will he be getting any?
Is this a “Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place” reference?
I miss that show. Of course I liked it more before they dropped the Pizza Place from the title and it just became “Two Guys and a Girl.”
That sounds like a spin off to 2 girls 1 cup D:
Never saw this coming.
Give up now Joe and just buy her a ring.
I was going to make a comment about how there isn’t anything Mike wouldn’t do for money, but then I realized… He gets to spend the entire night “blocking” Joe. He’s probably doing this for free.
It’s hard to tell cause Joe’s not standing up straight, but Mike’s kind of a scrawny guy compared to Joe. If a fight actually broke out, I’d bet on nonpowered Joe over nonpowered Mike.
Not that Joe’s gonna fight Mike.(Waits for meme to activate)
I don’t know. Mike may be a bit scrawny, but he’s still a pretty tough bastard. I have to go with Mike taking Joe down.
And I’m guessing Joe doesn’t have a whole lot of fighting know-how. Mike not either, but he’s more likely to than Joe.
i’ll er uhm, “bite”
With his penis.
I was not actually expecting someone to take that.
But someone should write fanfic about it.
You’re not supposed to bite that!
Mike would fight dirty, which I don’t see Joe effectively countering.
CAN THERE BE A JOE-MIKE PUDDING FIGHT SHOWDOWN?
i say joe wins when you hit on that many women sooner or later you find a jealous boyfriend who wants to pound on you, if you don’t stop after that your either a moron or you won the fight
Bah! I lost out on the chance to correct my comment! *pouts*
I meant Joe…
Still! Everything else was fine!
Joyce. Freaking. Wins.
All the hoopla about what would win out on this date. Joyce’s cuteness, her naievte, her religion, Joe’s penis. In the end it is as it was and always will be. Finish them! Mike. Wins. Hillarity!
The chaperone part did not surprise me. That the chaperone is Mike does. How did she even meet him? I doubt she would’ve found him between that morning and this night.
Well, they did have a class together at one point. And they seem to have known each other on twitter before that, so presumably they met earlier.
As for why she decided to hire him as a chaperone, your guess is as good as mine. Maybe, for all her naivety, she’s just a fantastic judge of character? =D
“Keep your hands off the goods and I keep my hands off your mother.”
This is perfect. I can’t wait to see how it plays out.
I could see this being Mike’s idea just as much as Joyce’s. Think about it, he would be conning Joyce out a some payment, he would get to block Joe, and he would have the possibility of doing something devious during the date. It could be… the perfect storm.
Joyce 2, Joe nil.
We’re heading for a shut-out, here, folks.
this will probably be the best thing ever.
Most epic cockblock ever
Most epic cockblock ever.
whoops double comment
Most epic double post ever. >_>
Mike would make the best chaperon; the ultimate cock-block.
With his penis
I am afraid that Joyce is secretly a manipulative, scheming individual, bent on finding a trophy husband to support her throughout life. This has all been intentional: picking Joe, who at that point had demonstrated only the shallowest interest in women, and then sucker-punching him with the questionnaire. He then had to follow through with a date because HE IS JOE, whereupon he was disarmed by the dress. But to dash any hopes of his that he was still in control of the situation, Joyce brought along Mike.
Joyce has her marital dreams, but she appears less naive than we thought at first. This relationship will move along at the pace she has planned, and Joe will be helpless to do anything but follow along. Go Evil Joyce!
Win!
This is the best thing that could have possibly happened ever.
Joyce is Bizarro Joe.
Awesome choice for a chaperone!
This reminds me of back when Garfield was still funny, and he’d tag along on Jon’s dates to make sure he’d never score.
Just in case I’m not being clear enough:
Mike = Garfield
Joe = Jon
“Good, ’cause the plans were for the two of us and a pizza joint… with my penis.”
Now that that’s out of the way, I have to agree that Mike as chaperone is epic.
It’s interesting to watch Joe’s confidence crumble between Joyce’s dress and then.. bam, double-curveball: chaperone.
WTF! Where’d the belle bottoms go?
There weren’t actually any bell bottoms, it just kind of looked like it because of the way the dress draped over her legs.
Ah, didn’t spot that. I liked the bell bottoms more. Dress is nice too though.
Nice one. So Mike will be all up in Joe’s FAAAAACCCE. And Joe doesn’t get any action . . .
with his penis.
Winning comment right there.
Joyce is now my favorite after Mike.
Cute!
I’m thinking a “How Joyce got Mike to agree to this” side-story would be wonderful.
He’s up for causing people pain…the end.
Fuck yeah Mike. Now I’m feeling comfortable about where the story is going
Man, he seems like an excellent chaperone! What’s his number? I’d like him to babysit my fictional children.
Oh, chaperoned dating! How very Muslim.
^_^
I just noticed… Yellow stripe.
I know it means nothing, but hey.
MIKE
Everytime I see Mike speak, I like him more and more.