Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 12, 2026

Pace

by David M Willis on April 19, 2015 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - The Butterflies Won't Fly Away

└ Tags: mike, walky

Discussion (188) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    April 19, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    “I mean, think of all the SEX I could have had in that time!”

    • Lendisc
      Lendisc
      April 19, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

      That’s, y’know, like 3 rounds at least.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      April 19, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

      At least 15 times… 😀

      • boomwolf
        boomwolf
        April 19, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

        Ouch

        • John
          John
          April 19, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

          I dunno, I’m not going to feel too sorry for him being quick on the trigger if he can reload that fast.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            April 19, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

            “Is that a semi-automatic in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

            • MeghanTheWorldEater
              MeghanTheWorldEater
              April 19, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

              Nah it’s more like reloading a flintlock pistol really really fast.

              • AustKyzor
                AustKyzor
                April 19, 2015 at 11:15 am | #

                Given how much Dotty seems to enjoy it, I’d say it’s more like a blunderbuss…

                • MichaelHaneline
                  MichaelHaneline
                  April 20, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

                  After reading the above comment, try to watch this without giggling
                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCs2RIyeUwc&feature=youtu.be&t=1m31s

          • tyersome
            tyersome
            April 19, 2015 at 1:35 am | #

            Bad netizens! This is clearly a comment threat that should have had a trigger warning …

            • Rich
              Rich
              April 19, 2015 at 8:50 am | #

              Arrgh. Cue jokes about not knowing the safety was off, the capacity of Walky’s magazine, and Dorothy racking the slide of his piece.

              And then go read the Ballad of Eskimo Nell.

              • Screwball
                Screwball
                April 19, 2015 at 1:14 pm | #

                Yeah, guess some of those were half-cocked…

    • cesium133
      cesium133
      April 19, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      Think of how many nickels Mike could have spent!

      • David Herbert
        David Herbert
        April 19, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

        How many moms went unfucked?

        • Barf Ninjason
          Barf Ninjason
          April 19, 2015 at 1:11 am | #

          Someone say that in Latin so it can be the motto of my half-ironic micronation.

          • Barf Ninjason
            Barf Ninjason
            April 19, 2015 at 1:21 am | #

            The Commonwealth of Greater Barfland
            Motto: “Quot sine coitu abiit matres?”
            Secondary Motto: “We just go with Google Translate and hope it’s close enough.”

            • Rorror
              Rorror
              April 19, 2015 at 2:39 am | #

              My Latin is a bit rusty, but it seems like an accurate translation of “How many mothers have gone away without mating?” (=

              • fogel
                fogel
                April 19, 2015 at 5:59 am | #

                The value of a classical education! 🙂

              • Chris
                Chris
                April 19, 2015 at 6:07 am | #

                Sounds like a paradoxical support group.
                (Mothers Who Never Mated)

                • Deanatay
                  Deanatay
                  April 19, 2015 at 7:53 am | #

                  With one member – the Virgin Mary.

                  Well, one _human_ member – she hangs out with a bunch of frogs…

                • Rich
                  Rich
                  April 19, 2015 at 8:53 am | #

                  Mary’s not sitting in the room alone any more. Artificial insemination has radically increased the size of that population. Not everyone tries that option last, you know.

                • Ollie
                  Ollie
                  April 19, 2015 at 9:17 am | #

                  Virgin Mary, frogs, also some sharks! This sounds like a cool group.

                • Barf Ninjason
                  Barf Ninjason
                  April 19, 2015 at 11:20 am | #

                  For some reason I can’t reply to the comments branching off this one, but according to a book by George Carlin I read once, the “immaculate conception” refers to being conceived without original sin, and the idea of conception without, y’know, fucking, was a later puritanical invention.

                • Rich
                  Rich
                  April 19, 2015 at 12:19 pm | #

                  I would assume frogs and sharks still get a free pass on that one.

                  Or if we want to be slightly more serious about this, what we’re actually talking about is virginal conception, not immaculate conception. The latter refers to the whole “original sin” concept, the former is explicitly about sex. Very common to use “immaculate” when you really mean “virginal” outside of theological discussions, though. Up until the late 1600’s there was even an school of belief that said Mary herself was virginally conceived (poor Joachim gets none!) but the Catholic Church condemned that one ages ago.

                • No Name
                  No Name
                  April 19, 2015 at 2:15 pm | #

                  Rich:
                  Actually, I think the Protestant churches are the one who did the whole “no immaculate conception” thing (which term, by the way, refers to Mary’s birth, not Jesus’ birth). As far as the Catholic church is concerned, the immaculate conception of Mary may be apocryphal (because it didn’t have enough Jesus in it to get in the Bible), but it’s still seen as something true.
                  Also, Joachim did get some. Mary has at least one sibling. I think her name’s Elizabeth.

                  Note: I’m just some guy who read this on the internet somewhere (even if it was the Encyclopedia Catholic, or whatever it’s called). Feel free to correct me.

                • fogel
                  fogel
                  April 19, 2015 at 10:06 pm | #

                  Zeus is looking on at all this Christian stuff about virgins conceiving and thinking, “not on my watch!”

                • Rich
                  Rich
                  April 19, 2015 at 11:36 pm | #

                  No Name: I’m no theologian either, but I think there the Protestants originally accepted immaculate conception during Martin Luther’s period, then moved away from it during the Calvinist reforms.

                  Jesus Mom Mary’s sister was also confusingly named Mary, not Elizabeth, but she may have been a sister-in-law (ie part of Joe’s family) rather than a blood relative. Joachim and Anne had fertility problems that required divine intervention to produce the first Mary, so it would be a little odd if they had a second daughter, especially by the same name.

                  Elizabeth is the mother of John the Baptist, and cousin to Jesus Mom Mary.

                  I’d almost forgotten what a tangle this stuff was to sort through.

    • John
      John
      April 19, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      “Your right hand doesn’t count as sex, and Dorothy’s busy studying.”

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        April 19, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

        “What about my left hand?”

        • MeghanTheWorldEater
          MeghanTheWorldEater
          April 19, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

          Well…
          http://giantspod.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/lefty.jpg

          • Someone
            Someone
            April 19, 2015 at 3:50 am | #

            That is a risky click

            • fogel
              fogel
              April 19, 2015 at 6:03 am | #

              A good gravatar for your comment.

      • Screwball
        Screwball
        April 19, 2015 at 1:24 pm | #

        How did that movie line go?
        “I came up with this move. I call it the Stranger. You sit on your hand for about 5-10 minutes, then use it to jack off. Ye’ see, that way, it feels like someone else is doing it…”

        Can’t remember what movie, it was on TV, but relevant I think…

  2. otusasio451
    otusasio451
    April 19, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    I feel you, Walky. I feel you.

    • Rich
      Rich
      April 19, 2015 at 9:09 am | #

      Huh. Well, he and Dorothy never did have that exclusivity chat, so I guess feeling him is okay if it’s consensual and all.

  3. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    April 19, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    Yeah, no one really wants to.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      April 19, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

      “It’s too bad I can’t get all this higher learnin’ and growth without all that having to LEARN AND GROW”

    • Incomitatus
      Incomitatus
      April 19, 2015 at 1:54 am | #

      I liked studying for my WSET exam. Of course, ‘studying’ meant drinking a lot of wines.

  4. HorchataShake
    HorchataShake
    April 19, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    Damn it, Walky.

    • LeslieBean4Shizzle
      LeslieBean4Shizzle
      April 19, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      Yeah, I have no sympathy for Walky on this one.

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        April 19, 2015 at 12:26 am | #

        I do, as I know that feel aaaall too well 😐

      • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
        DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
        April 19, 2015 at 12:59 pm | #

        Looks like his mother’s plan for him making it in the medical profession are going to hit a snag in the form of her son counting himself amongst the numerous dopes who flunk their freshman year. Gentleman’s C for him, baby!

        • Lord Of Mantas
          Lord Of Mantas
          April 19, 2015 at 1:55 pm | #

          Wait, they want him to become a doctor? Did I miss that comic?

          • segnosaur
            segnosaur
            April 19, 2015 at 2:11 pm | #

            Took place during Freshman family weekend… Walky’s mom was talking to Dorothy’s mom after the football game.

            http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/footforward/

        • fogel
          fogel
          April 19, 2015 at 10:09 pm | #

          Walky. A gentleman. Are you sure that you know what that word means?

    • LittleMountain
      LittleMountain
      April 19, 2015 at 1:15 am | #

      Just get your genius girlfriend to help you study, you goof.

      • cmd1095
        cmd1095
        April 19, 2015 at 2:11 am | #

        he sort of tried, without admitting that he needed help, but he did try to study with her

  5. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    April 19, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Are McNuggets brain food or something just as offal?

    • KingMabel
      KingMabel
      April 19, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

      Almost anything can be brain food if you believe.

      • fogel
        fogel
        April 19, 2015 at 10:11 pm | #

        Or stick it in your eyes and then push it along the path of your optic nerves.

    • tyersome
      tyersome
      April 19, 2015 at 1:29 am | #

      Take heart Plasma! I noticed your spleendid pun, even if no one else did.

      Also, I have the guts to stomach a bowelful more!

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        April 19, 2015 at 2:05 am | #

        Thank goodness for that. ^_^

      • Rich
        Rich
        April 19, 2015 at 8:56 am | #

        Kind of tripe, wasn’t it?

        • AustKyzor
          AustKyzor
          April 19, 2015 at 11:19 am | #

          It’s a bit tongue and cheek when it comes to offal punning

    • Bill
      Bill
      April 19, 2015 at 2:40 am | #

      As a old Wendy’s ad asked, “which part of the chicken is the nugget?”

      • Mo
        Mo
        April 19, 2015 at 12:27 pm | #

        To quote Seinfeld: “If it McComes from where I McThink it does, I don’t wanna McEat it!”

  6. Portmanteaust
    Portmanteaust
    April 19, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    I wonder what Mike’s been doing on his phone this whole time…

    • boomwolf
      boomwolf
      April 19, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      Texting Satan?

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        April 19, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

        Killing spiders with Amber.

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          April 19, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

          Actually, i’ve been wondering wether Mike ever study.

          • Portmanteaust
            Portmanteaust
            April 19, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

            As long as Mike can sow discord by getting good marks (e.g. making other feel stupid), his Erisian powers give him effortless A’s.

            • Jen Aside
              Jen Aside
              April 19, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

              He’s not a student. He’s a professor in the SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS

              • Cory
                Cory
                April 19, 2015 at 12:48 am | #

                His salary consists of millions of nickels.

                • Jen Aside
                  Jen Aside
                  April 19, 2015 at 2:15 am | #

                  “If I had a nickel for every time I fucked your mom… OH WAIT I ALREADY DO”

                • DarkoNeko
                  DarkoNeko
                  April 19, 2015 at 12:49 pm | #

                  Next year, Mike will be responsible of about 80% of the babies of the neighbourhood. 15 years later, he starts harnessing them as his army of elite super soldiers.

                • Someone
                  Someone
                  April 19, 2015 at 1:50 pm | #

                  He then travels to an alternate dimension where hid mind takes over the body of a peaceful alien, he then starts giving babies of this dimension superpowers in a plan to take over the world.

            • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
              DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
              April 19, 2015 at 1:45 pm | #

              He also doesn’t seem to care whether or not he passes. A perfect opportunity to make Ruth’s life hell by making her forcibly remove him (or at least try to) from campus after he flunks out at the end of the year.

              • segnosaur
                segnosaur
                April 19, 2015 at 2:38 pm | #

                I don’t think Ruth is the RA for the men’s side.. only for the women… (Any of the floor meetings we’ve seen have been women only.)

                • David M Willis
                  David M Willis
                  April 19, 2015 at 2:41 pm | #

                  http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/03-answers-in-hennessy/rapture-ready/

          • Barf Ninjason
            Barf Ninjason
            April 19, 2015 at 1:15 am | #

            Do we know Mike’s major? I’m thinking like Hospitality Management… or possibly some kind of arcane post-structuralist nonsense.

            • Portmanteaust
              Portmanteaust
              April 19, 2015 at 2:36 am | #

              He’s doing a photography course, so… some kind of arts degree?

            • Jen Aside
              Jen Aside
              April 19, 2015 at 2:40 am | #

              according to Walky: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/04-time-keeps-on-slippin/year/

      • Someone
        Someone
        April 19, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

        Are you kidding Satan is terrified of Mike

        • Rich
          Rich
          April 19, 2015 at 9:39 am | #

          I was halfway expecting Old Nick to pop up and publically disavow Mike after he pulled that “All Hail Satan” with Joyce’s phone a while back.

          “Look, I’m the Prince of Darkness and all, but I really don’t want to be associated with you, Mike. You just go too far.”

          • Alan Lafond
            Alan Lafond
            April 19, 2015 at 9:28 pm | #

            I couldn’t help but read that in the voice of Satan from South Park.

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      April 19, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

      Sending his latest update to his alien bosses hiding in the asteroid belt.

      • StClair
        StClair
        April 19, 2015 at 1:07 pm | #

        “Mike calling Orson, come in Orson…”

    • maxyai
      maxyai
      April 19, 2015 at 1:09 am | #

      “Check out this adorable cat video!”

      • Screwball
        Screwball
        April 19, 2015 at 1:29 pm | #

        He’s adding to his collection…

        That’s his deep, dark secret in this universe, show him a cute kitty vid & watch his eyes turn into dinner plates, listen to the baby talk & make sure to video it from a good hiding place or he’ll find 1 for you, long term…

  7. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    April 19, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    The smallest bit of will power would do you some good walky

  8. Mallow
    Mallow
    April 19, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    new slipshine: dorothy teaches walky how to study, but it has boobs in it so he pays attention

    • Someone
      Someone
      April 19, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      Sex ed class

      • Mallow
        Mallow
        April 19, 2015 at 1:00 am | #

        mike comes along and records every time walky giggles at the mention of a sexual organ or secondary sexual characteristic, especially if it is a boob

    • Portmanteaust
      Portmanteaust
      April 19, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

      It’s educational!

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      April 19, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

      I love this idea but that means Willis would actually have to write out a detailed lesson for Walky to learn (“blah blah blah” would mean he’s NOT paying attention)

      • cmd1095
        cmd1095
        April 19, 2015 at 2:14 am | #

        Or he could use the power of the time skip/scene cut/montage to circumvent that

        • No Name
          No Name
          April 19, 2015 at 4:26 am | #

          He did it with Sal, after all.

    • Someone
      Someone
      April 19, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

      Dorothy: Now Walky these are the testes and this is the clit

      Walky: Dorothy your new fetish is really weird

    • theheroesofcrash
      theheroesofcrash
      April 19, 2015 at 9:18 am | #

      Wasn’t that study method used in Billy Madison?

      And now you’re all thinking of a shirtless Chris Farley. You’re welcome. Mwa-ha-ha…!

      • Rich
        Rich
        April 19, 2015 at 9:34 am | #

        Actually, I was thinking of some truly awful anime clips I’ve had the misfortune of seeing. Shirtless Chris Farley is a significant improvement. Thanks!

  9. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    April 19, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    Hey Walky, at least you aren’t doing something stupid like reading a webcomic when you’re supposed to be doing homework.

    Er, not that I or anyone I know would ever do such a thing.

    • Someone
      Someone
      April 19, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      That is my entire life

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      April 19, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

      haha, school is for SUCKERS

      (and people who want to better themselves so they don’t wind up with shitty minimum wage jobs I guess)

      • Black
        Black
        April 19, 2015 at 9:05 am | #

        It’s almost cute how you think someone’s life can be improved with school.

        Sure, I’m willing to bet that there are people out there whose lives have been improved by school, but for me it all turned out useless in the end.

        Such was the joy of the Economic Collapse of 2008.

        • Someone
          Someone
          April 19, 2015 at 11:21 am | #

          I think hard work and perseverance have been shown throughout history
          to be more effective then school. School is important but it did not
          make Bill Gates a billionaire.

          • Laurel Raven
            Laurel Raven
            April 19, 2015 at 1:10 pm | #

            True, but hard work and perseverance weren’t all it took to make him a billionaire, either; a fair bit of good luck, timing, and ambition came in to play as well.

            • Kryss LaBryn
              Kryss LaBryn
              April 19, 2015 at 1:32 pm | #

              He has said one of the biggest factors in his success was having access to computers to play with and work on when he was a kid; he said all the interest he had in them wouldn’t have amounted to anything without access to them to actually work on. As I recall, in the interview I’m referencing from several years ago, there was a mainframe or something at a college in the area that he’d sneak out at night and go and use.

              He’s a big proponent of having computer access in schools (which is less of an issue nowadays than when I was a kid, at least, but I’m not sure how universal it is) because of that.

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          April 20, 2015 at 2:33 am | #

          hey, I said people who want to better themselves, not ALL people who want to better themselves

          I think American schooling is a sham but will readily concede that there are for-real people who exist AND can benefit from schooling even of the current quality and rip-off pricing when mere desire and independent study alone do not work. As my boss says, “Every case is different (and I want you to copy-paste these pre-written texts exactly for each case).”

  10. Rodimiss
    Rodimiss
    April 19, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

    I didn’t want to be able to ever identify with Walky, but here I am, and I feel him on so many levels and it’s frightening.

  11. Leorale
    Leorale
    April 19, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

    This whole arc is 100% true to life.

    I am in grad school and I still don’t know how to study properly. Visual learners for the win!

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      April 19, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

      gosh, I hope this never bites me in the butt
      OH WAIT HERE WE GO IT IS BITING ME OW

      • cmd1095
        cmd1095
        April 19, 2015 at 2:15 am | #

        Ohmnomnom crushing despair and regret, delicious

        • Rycan
          Rycan
          April 19, 2015 at 7:15 pm | #

          Ah shit, we have an ass cannibal.

    • ischemgeek
      ischemgeek
      April 19, 2015 at 10:02 am | #

      I was in that boat, too. Obnoxious brat kid who could make Principal’s List despite sleeping thought half my classes and doing all my assignments the night before. Get to uni. First year, still did fine. Second year? “crash and burn” comes to mind. GPA dropped from 4.3 to 3.1 in one semester.

      Though, I did learn how to study after that. Mainly because I had friends who actually had to study and they took pity on me and were all, “Here is how you take notes on a reading. Here is how you review for a test.” etc.

  12. Spencer
    Spencer
    April 19, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

    Oh right, I have finals this week.

    *guilt intensifies*

  13. chris73
    chris73
    April 19, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

    I respect the guys honesty

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      April 19, 2015 at 3:23 am | #

      Yes, he adds the truth after some liberal helpings of self-delusion.

    • Rich
      Rich
      April 19, 2015 at 9:13 am | #

      Sadly, honesty isn’t going to help much here unless it causes a change of behavior.

  14. Kris
    Kris
    April 19, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

    You gotta give time for all the knowledge to settle in.

  15. Mouse
    Mouse
    April 19, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

    I had Walky’s problem. Basically skated through school never studying. Had no idea where to even start when I had to. It’s a really nasty wake up call when you hit that glass ceiling of studying.

  16. Robert
    Robert
    April 19, 2015 at 12:31 am | #

    Well then for the sake of everyone on this floor use your study break to take a shower, Walky. It’s been months.

    • Urukak
      Urukak
      April 19, 2015 at 12:43 am | #

      It hasn’t even been months since school started. Get your facts straight, dammit!

      • MeghanTheWorldEater
        MeghanTheWorldEater
        April 19, 2015 at 12:46 am | #

        Exactly! He hasn’t showered since before college!

        • Someone
          Someone
          April 19, 2015 at 1:15 am | #

          Holy crap: Joyce got a boy friend and broke up with him, Walky got a girlfriend,
          Ambers abusive father appeared. Sal started sleeping with the T.A Becky reappeared and revealed herself to be gay. That is a lot of stuff to happen in the span of a couple weeks.

          • Rycan
            Rycan
            April 19, 2015 at 3:25 am | #

            My first month of undergrad was nowhere near this exciting. For one, there was a complete absence of superheroes on campus.

            • Leorale
              Leorale
              April 19, 2015 at 4:33 am | #

              Nah, your campus had one, but she was invisible.

              • Rich
                Rich
                April 19, 2015 at 9:40 am | #

                Try as I may, I just cannot assemble a Fantastic Four joke out of that comment.

                • Screwball
                  Screwball
                  April 19, 2015 at 1:35 pm | #

                  I guess you clearly needed some four-warning so you could stretch out a bit & come out strong. No one wants to just burn away their time after all…

                • No Name
                  No Name
                  April 19, 2015 at 1:46 pm | #

                  How about an Incredibles joke? Violet has to be at least college age by now.

              • Rycan
                Rycan
                April 19, 2015 at 7:36 pm | #

                Oh, right, I remember her! Name was Capsaicin, I think.

            • Kryss LaBryn
              Kryss LaBryn
              April 19, 2015 at 1:35 pm | #

              Someone I know online had someone dressed as V (from “Vendetta”) running around her campus.

              It was pretty sweet.

      • Damned
        Damned
        April 19, 2015 at 9:35 am | #

        Wait, is there a rule of thumb for a comic strip time to real life time ratio?

        • Robert
          Robert
          April 19, 2015 at 12:53 pm | #

          A single day in the dumb-verse can take as much as 14 strips to pass from begining to end. So if there are 52 weeks in a year and this strip is about two years old that means about a year of time has passed. These guys are about ready for summer break and they haven’t accomplished anything.

          • Robert
            Robert
            April 19, 2015 at 12:54 pm | #

            Oh wait never mind this strip is almost 5 years old. Jeez Joyce was really thin in that first issue.

            • No Name
              No Name
              April 19, 2015 at 1:49 pm | #

              There are also a lot more than 14 strips per day.

        • John
          John
          April 19, 2015 at 10:01 pm | #

          The first three weeks ran pretty consistently about a real-time year to a DoA week. This week (Week Four) will have been a year and a half on the 25th, and there’s still most of Saturday to go. I don’t remember exactly when the weekend updates started, but the first year, at least, was only weekday updates.

          There has been no DoA day as short as 14 strips, save the ones that were skipped and got a single panel or less – Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday of Week Two waiting for pajama jeans, and Thursday and Friday of Week Three studying with Dorothy. Storylines are single days, modulo some occasional spill past midnight at the end, and those two timeskips. The shortest storyline so far was 30 strips; the longest 117.

          • Rich
            Rich
            April 19, 2015 at 10:36 pm | #

            I’m really looking forward to the end of October rolling around in story time. Halloween was insane in my own freshman year, and my dorm didn’t have anything like the level of drama DoA has.

            Hopefully I live long enough to see it happen…2022-ish at the current rate, maybe?

          • Robert
            Robert
            April 19, 2015 at 11:35 pm | #

            right but thats how much time it takes for a storyline to pass. Not the typical day/night cycle.

            • John
              John
              April 19, 2015 at 11:55 pm | #

              Like I said, a storyline is typically a day/night cycle.

              Here is a detailed timeline. You may note that there is no day in that timeline, save those that were skipped entirely, and today, which isn’t even close to over, that has links to fewer than 21 strips – and none of them have links to all the strips that happened that day; just strips that I found notable. That generally means scene changes, significant events, plot points, and stuff I’ve found myself wanting to reference later.

              (I need to go through and note all the strips where Joyce is shown holding her wounded hand…)

              • John
                John
                April 19, 2015 at 11:56 pm | #

                Oh, and I have the beginnings of books and storylines noted on there now, too, so you can see just how closely they correspond to the days.

  17. modernpython
    modernpython
    April 19, 2015 at 12:34 am | #

    This is one of the comics on the bookmarks handed out at emerald city comic con this year!

    • Someone
      Someone
      April 19, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

      woo another Seattle reader!

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        April 19, 2015 at 3:27 am | #

        Yeah, I should attend ECCC one of these years.

  18. Architex
    Architex
    April 19, 2015 at 12:54 am | #

    I am relating to this scene more and more with each strip

  19. takashid
    takashid
    April 19, 2015 at 12:56 am | #

    walky. walky no.

  20. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    April 19, 2015 at 1:00 am | #

    Well at least it finally broke down and got honest in the last panel.

    If he thinks he was upset by that lousy grade he got, wait until he fails the class.

  21. Liz
    Liz
    April 19, 2015 at 1:02 am | #

    At least it’s math he’s struggling with. Getting the hang of sample problems, while arduous, is at least a more predictable studying method than flash cards for history or science.

  22. Nena
    Nena
    April 19, 2015 at 1:04 am | #

    Walky is they type who is cute and fun to shag, but as far as anything more than that, he’s useless.

    • Barf Ninjason
      Barf Ninjason
      April 19, 2015 at 1:17 am | #

      Luckily that’s like 90% of life anyway

      • Barf Ninjason
        Barf Ninjason
        April 19, 2015 at 1:51 am | #

        I changed my mind, it’s more like 69%

  23. Black Bumblebee
    Black Bumblebee
    April 19, 2015 at 1:34 am | #

    This is nearly every first year college student I teach. My job, alas, is to break them and make them cry. I don’t enjoy doing it… really… really, I don’t 😀

    • tyersome
      tyersome
      April 19, 2015 at 1:38 am | #

      Wow, you’ve gotten that jaded already? What does it take to please you?!?

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        April 19, 2015 at 8:13 am | #

        Apparently, the tears of his students…

  24. cmd1095
    cmd1095
    April 19, 2015 at 2:10 am | #

    And once again Walky summarizes my time in college perfectly

  25. Kaunisenkeli
    Kaunisenkeli
    April 19, 2015 at 2:29 am | #

    Walky, speaking as a college student having to take multiple levels of calculus… I’m going to enjoy watching your grade tank.

  26. Bill
    Bill
    April 19, 2015 at 2:34 am | #

    Well, that answers my question from yesterday as to how much time went by.

    • No Name
      No Name
      April 19, 2015 at 4:32 am | #

      I’m honestly surprised he lasted that long. Fifteen minutes is almost a quarter of an hour, and an eternity if you’re bored.

      • No Name
        No Name
        April 19, 2015 at 1:51 pm | #

        Why did I say almost a quarter? 15 minutes is a quarter of an hour, by definition!

        • Rich
          Rich
          April 19, 2015 at 10:31 pm | #

          I was going to mention that earlier, but I already got a snark point today and didn’t want to be greedy. 🙂

  27. Bagge
    Bagge
    April 19, 2015 at 3:37 am | #

    Quick quiz time, Walky: what edition is the book?

  28. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    April 19, 2015 at 3:49 am | #

    I think Walky’s expression in the last panel is the slow dawning realization he can’t use that as an excuse anymore.

  29. Willoughby Chase
    Willoughby Chase
    April 19, 2015 at 4:50 am | #

    Ease yourself in gradually into procrastination.

    He’s almost the opposite of Dotty, who’s focused, knows what she wants with her life, and will get there.

    Not so sure abt Walky.

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      April 19, 2015 at 7:45 am | #

      Dorothy’s been slipping recently. Enjoying life instead of studying. Even Mike called her a bit on that.
      this… will show. And there will be a lot of yelling.

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        April 19, 2015 at 7:48 am | #

        (they may breeak up again, violently. Hopefully before starting to study together)

  30. ThatGuy
    ThatGuy
    April 19, 2015 at 5:00 am | #

    So true.

    Several times i knew i needed to study.

    Then i decided I’d rather spend all night enjoying life, rather than getting higher than a C the next day on a test

  31. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    April 19, 2015 at 8:15 am | #

    McNugget time. It’s like Miller Time, only… meatier.

  32. hof1991
    hof1991
    April 19, 2015 at 8:16 am | #

    Its as if getting good grades and learning stuff requires one to do things they don’t want too. Kinda like a job. No wonder he doesn’t like it.

  33. Nono
    Nono
    April 19, 2015 at 8:46 am | #

    This is the Bargaining stage, right? When do Anger and Acceptance come in?

    • No Name
      No Name
      April 19, 2015 at 1:53 pm | #

      Doesn’t anger come before bargaining? In that case, I’d say he skipped it in favor of “panic”

  34. Damned
    Damned
    April 19, 2015 at 9:34 am | #

    You guys, I’ve been hitting the random button and I just want to call it for the record: Becky and Daisy. And it goes terribly. Mark my words!

  35. Luchucholo
    Luchucholo
    April 19, 2015 at 9:52 am | #

    Oh, boy. I believed the same thing then… Don´t do the same, Walky. It´s a painful bongoslap onwards the near future. :p

  36. Luchucholo
    Luchucholo
    April 19, 2015 at 9:54 am | #

    “bongoslap” instead of “b-i-tch -slap” (sorry, but censorship? really?)

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      April 19, 2015 at 9:56 am | #

      There was a bongo-related… incident a while back. The filter is there for reasons.

      Fun fact: It works retroactively as well! Go back and read some old comments for hilarity.

      • Rich
        Rich
        April 19, 2015 at 10:27 am | #

        I have to know what happens when I actually type it in:

        Bongo!

        • Rich
          Rich
          April 19, 2015 at 10:30 am | #

          Shucks, I was hoping it would change to “Stickleback” or “Unbearable Lightness of Being” or something equally absurdist.

          Ah well, at least we know we can discuss Ricky Ricardo’s musical instrument of choice freely.

          • Bill
            Bill
            April 19, 2015 at 11:00 am | #

            On the old “I Love Lucy” episodes (which come on at 4:00 AM CT on one of those all-night throw-back cable TV channels) that I’ve seen he plays a single-headed bokú (which the show incorrectly called a conga), not a bongo.

            • Rich
              Rich
              April 19, 2015 at 11:41 am | #

              Hmmm, I must be conflating different instruments. I have seen photos of Desi Arnaz playing actual bongo drums, but on closer examination the shots were publicity stills, not scenes taken from the show. He probably played quite a few instruments, and I’ll admit I don’t know for sure which he preferred in real life. In character as Ricky, it was definitely the “conga” on the show, even if the instrument was more accurately a boku or maybe ashiko.

            • Rich
              Rich
              April 19, 2015 at 11:53 am | #

              And apropos of nothing, I can dimly remember watching “I Love Lucy” and “Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” reruns on network TV back in the days before cable. Seemed like they stayed on the air forever when I was young.

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      April 19, 2015 at 7:09 pm | #

      It’s funnier. Has some side effects, though – you sound absolutely ridiculous when talking about dog breeding, and sound less demeaning and sexist when talking about anything else. So long as we aren’t rambling on about breeding bongoes, I think the side effects are tolerable.

      On a more serious note, the filter went in after one comment section began to center on whether a character was or wasn’t a bongo, and I’m pretty certain she is neither a dog nor interested in breeding (I said breeding, not sex).

      • John
        John
        April 19, 2015 at 11:26 pm | #

        I understand why Willis did it, but censoring in the comments a word that’s used in the strip itself, by sympathetic characters, even self-referentially… bothers me.

        • John
          John
          April 19, 2015 at 11:29 pm | #

          Oh hey, and in the URL of at at least one strip, so it’s not possible to link it in the comments now. (It’s the one after this one. Which is, ironically, entitled “Not directly”.)

        • Bill
          Bill
          April 20, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

          Maybe we can get Willis to do some retroactive jiggery-pokery and change the URL to read “……ook-3/03-answers-in-hennessy/alpha-bongo/”?

        • Rycan
          Rycan
          April 20, 2015 at 5:57 am | #

          This censorship may be clumsy, but apparently Willis has been getting a lot of complaints about the atmosphere here being rather unwelcoming, and this was his reaction. Plus, he may yet decide that the filter has become unnecessary, and remove it. We’ll see.

  37. Windward
    Windward
    April 19, 2015 at 10:37 am | #

    Mike? When did he ever do anything evil? He’s rude, but he’s usually just calling people out on hypocrisy, not indulging in pointless spite. Case in point, this.

    • segnosaur
      segnosaur
      April 19, 2015 at 2:15 pm | #

      Punching someone (even though it was Joyce who wanted him to be chaperone)… giving away Walky’s DVDs (although he might have just been joking about that)… Both of these would be considered illegal (if not immoral).

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      April 19, 2015 at 2:53 pm | #

      Well, just this morning he was trying to ruin someone’s life by taking nonconsensual pictures of them and hacking into their social media: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/snice/

      But yeah, he has seemed to settle down since then.

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        April 19, 2015 at 7:12 pm | #

        Going less than 24 hours since last being an asshole doesn’t count as ‘settling down’ in my book.

      • fogel
        fogel
        April 19, 2015 at 10:28 pm | #

        He talked about doing it; there’s nothing that indicates that he did, and he could have before Dorothy took his phone. If was really into that kind of thing, wouldn’t he have outed Ethan on Facebook, posted that Becky the runaway lesgirl is hiding out with Joyce, etc. His assholery with Dorothy announced to asking her, in his own inimitable way, whether she’s really thought through what pursuing the Presidency means.

        • fogel
          fogel
          April 19, 2015 at 10:30 pm | #

          Amounted to, NOT announced — curse you Spellwrecker!

      • John
        John
        April 20, 2015 at 1:34 am | #

        No, he wasn’t. If he had actually been trying to ruin Dorothy’s life, he would have done it while she was sleeping and couldn’t do anything about it, and she probably wouldn’t even have known that those pictures existed until they showed up on Fox Noise the October before her election. But he waited until she woke up and told her what he was doing when she could stop him. He wasn’t trying to ruin her life; he was making a point in the most dickish way possible. Most of the stuff Mike does falls into that category.

  38. Starman
    Starman
    April 19, 2015 at 2:34 pm | #

    Wait… Is Mike being somewhat nice these last two strips? He seems a little concerned that Walky can’t study. He’s up to something!

    • Rowen Morland
      Rowen Morland
      April 19, 2015 at 7:54 pm | #

      He is resetting his gauges for how to hurt Walky best in the future.

  39. nothri
    nothri
    April 19, 2015 at 2:36 pm | #

    Am I a bad person for finding this whole “Walky doesn’t like studying” storyline as boring as Walky finds studying?

    • No Name
      No Name
      April 19, 2015 at 5:06 pm | #

      No, you’re just incredibly lucky. Most of the rest of us feel a twinge of painful nostalgia when we see our college and/or high school selves in Walky.

      • nothri
        nothri
        April 19, 2015 at 10:14 pm | #

        Oh, don’t get me wrong. I recognize myself in Walky here. But mostly that just means I have a desire to slap him in the face.

  40. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    April 19, 2015 at 2:50 pm | #

    Mike’s being super nice for Mike. I feel like years of reading about Mike’s antics have trained me to expect a shoe drop to happen any second.

  41. Tybert
    Tybert
    April 20, 2015 at 1:41 am | #

    Oh god. It’s worse than looking in a mirror.

  42. man jean
    man jean
    August 2, 2015 at 5:08 am | #

    standing for no reason in your own room never makes any sense to me

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