Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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i'm uploading these comics in september, thinking, hrm, i wonder if my kids will be born by the time this runs, the due date's not far from here
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May 12, 2026

Progress

by David M Willis on December 24, 2015 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - That Perfect Girl
└ Tags: dorothy, joyce, walky

Discussion (224) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    December 24, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    “let’s approach this scientifically–start with a peck on the cheek and work from there”

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 24, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      Nah, she just needs a control group and a variable. Two sheltered Christian girls; she bangs one and leaves the other alone.

      Now, we’ll need a volunteer…

      • EdHead
        EdHead
        December 24, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

        DID SOMEONE SAY VOLUNTEER?

        *Proceeds to get car keys, onstar, and redbull because i am in for a long drive.

        • Yet_One_More_Idiot
          Yet_One_More_Idiot
          December 24, 2015 at 6:44 am | #

          DID SOMEONE SAY VOLUNTEER?

          The facts that I am neither sheltered, nor a Christian, nor a girl, are completely immaterial. I can be, FOR SCIENCE! xD

          • JetstreamGW
            JetstreamGW
            December 24, 2015 at 7:00 pm | #

            That’s not how science works!

            • Yet_One_More_Idiot
              Yet_One_More_Idiot
              December 25, 2015 at 6:27 am | #

              Science can work however you want it to work just by invoking the sentence “FOR SCIENCE!”! 😛

      • Someone
        Someone
        December 24, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

        Hmm sheltered Christian girl, who is straight….We have found a use for Mary!

        • Commodore Jeep-Eep
          Commodore Jeep-Eep
          December 24, 2015 at 9:49 am | #

          Comedy option: Mary is a self-hating lesbian.

          • Gamaran Sepudomyn
            Gamaran Sepudomyn
            December 24, 2015 at 10:00 am | #

            I wouldn’t be surprised, to be honest.

      • Inkblot
        Inkblot
        December 24, 2015 at 2:05 am | #

        What do you seem to have against threesomes?

      • Smiling Cat
        Smiling Cat
        December 24, 2015 at 4:03 am | #

        Statistical rigor requires a larger sample size. Somebody call Daisy and tell her to bring friends.

    • gkheyf
      gkheyf
      December 24, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      her and dina can exchange notes on the proper application of the scientific method to lady-on-lady action

      • Captain Button
        Captain Button
        December 24, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

        Well they both have to be blindfolded, for a start…

        • Clif
          Clif
          December 24, 2015 at 12:36 am | #

          For Science.

          • El Chupacabre
            El Chupacabre
            December 24, 2015 at 12:46 am | #

            Yes of course, a double blind study.

            • inqntrol
              inqntrol
              December 24, 2015 at 12:55 am | #

              Also multiple tests will need to be done to compare the data.

              • Toes14
                Toes14
                December 24, 2015 at 1:32 pm | #

                It should also be video taped, for quality assurance and booth review in the final 2 minutes.

                • Screwball
                  Screwball
                  December 24, 2015 at 10:25 pm | #

                  Not to mention all this must be observed, to ensure all the data gathered is scientifically sound…

        • Captain Button
          Captain Button
          December 24, 2015 at 7:04 pm | #

          No one has linked Thomas Dolby yet? WTH is wrong with you people?

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            December 29, 2015 at 5:32 pm | #

            Too obvious. We do have some standards, after all.

    • Mr. Morningstar
      Mr. Morningstar
      December 24, 2015 at 12:58 pm | #

      she could always try walky’s method of chucking toys at her face until she reciprocates her affections

  2. Chengrel
    Chengrel
    December 24, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    It’s the only way.

    • LeslieBean4Shizzle
      LeslieBean4Shizzle
      December 24, 2015 at 1:14 am | #

      Lesbian sex from orbit.

    • Znayx
      Znayx
      December 24, 2015 at 2:50 am | #

      AND DOROTHY’S ACTUALLY CONSIDERING IT

      Fans and shippers this could happen

      • Yet_One_More_Idiot
        Yet_One_More_Idiot
        December 24, 2015 at 6:47 am | #

        I’m not a religious person

        BUT DAMN

        I’m praying that this might happen. 😀

      • Screwball
        Screwball
        December 24, 2015 at 10:29 pm | #

        Well, she does have to help her friend…

        • Znayx
          Znayx
          February 27, 2016 at 3:17 am | #

          Dorothy has to help her friend of Dorothy.

          I’m so bad.

  3. Mada
    Mada
    December 24, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    Oh Walky, in the words of Han Solo…

    “Women always figure out the truth.”

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 24, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

      Loretta Castorini: What am I going to tell him?

      Cosmo Castorini: Tell him the truth. They find out anyway.

  4. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    December 24, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    I think she might flip out more if Dorothy tried that.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 24, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

      That’s the point. She’s already flipped. Another 180 at this point might put her back to normal.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        December 24, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

        But what happens if instead of another 180, she does a full 360?

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          December 24, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

          Then she’ll stay right where she is, so no harm done. Except maybe less sexually frustrated.

          • Yet_One_More_Idiot
            Yet_One_More_Idiot
            December 24, 2015 at 6:52 am | #

            She’s flipped 180, but what if another 180 flip doesn’t set her back to normal though? Maybe Joyce’s personality is Spin 1/2?

            [/RandomQuantumPhysics]

      • EdHead
        EdHead
        December 24, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

        “Flip?

        For the first time ever, she seems real.”

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          December 24, 2015 at 12:34 am | #

          I wonder if Sal had a point or if that was just some teenage pessimism.
          It kind of came off as “Joyce is angry and anger is real” to me.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            December 24, 2015 at 12:49 am | #

            Personally I think so. It’s about genuinely processing things rather than unfocused anger. After all, Sal has not shown much respect for unfocused anger before (see interactions with Amazi-girl). Joyce isn’t regurgitating what she was taught and trying to ape a sheltered type of cool, she’s genuinely processing what she truly believes and what her place in the world is.

            To Sal? That’s realness.

            • Spencer
              Spencer
              December 24, 2015 at 1:12 am | #

              I’m not so sure. Joyce did force herself to live up to an ideal, but that dorkiness? The fangirling? The big triangle smiles? That’s 100% legit Joyce.

              This is the first time Joyce has ever interacted with Sal without that level of admiration, and I can’t imagine a scenario where Sal would want her to continue, but that’s all been Joyce.

              • Cerberus
                Cerberus
                December 24, 2015 at 3:02 am | #

                But so is the person who tears themselves up for their morality and the person who will get on the back of a motorcycle without a helmet to try and save their friend. They’re both Joyce.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  December 24, 2015 at 9:12 am | #

                  Yeah, but Joyce has always been like that. Joyce always turns herself in knots trying to live up to false ideals while doing right by those she loves, and she always choose the latter. It was allegedly fake Joyce who befriended Dorothy, took Becky in, and realized how she was hurting Ethan.

                  This is the first time that Joyce has reacted to these challenges by shutting down and becoming sullen and angry, and that’s what prompts Sal to say she’s being real. Because Joyce is acting more like Sal, now she’s authentic Joyce.

                • Silly Name
                  Silly Name
                  December 24, 2015 at 9:28 am | #

                  I guess it’s possible Sal believes Joyce attitude prior to this was rejection. I mean, the girl was almost raped, and, as far as Sal could see, she didn’t really react. This time, however, it seems like she is genuinely processing what happened, instead of burying it away in a deep and dark corner of her mind hoping it never resurfaces (and that lead her to seeing Ryan everywhere when she’s alone).

                  Maybe Joyce losing her happy-go-lucky attitude is part of the process, but if it means she start facing her problems instead of hiding from them, Sal is in favor of it.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  December 24, 2015 at 9:58 am | #

                  IDK I guess I just have a hard time viewing Sal as some dispenser of ultimate wisdom or carrying some cunning insight of the human condition considering her last pieces of advice for Joyce were “don’t go to the cops” and “therapists are dumb”.

                • Gamaran Sepudomyn
                  Gamaran Sepudomyn
                  December 24, 2015 at 10:16 am | #

                  She might have been basing that advice on her own experience, which while obviously not representative of every therapist or cop, would definitely make her more cautious about both.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  December 24, 2015 at 10:40 am | #

                  Which is why I’m skeptical as to whether Sal was right about Joyce’s newfound realness. Her opinions and cops and therapists make sense for her, but I really don’t think anything about Joyce right now is “more real” other than Joyce acting more like Sal thinks she should.

                • Cerberus
                  Cerberus
                  December 24, 2015 at 1:02 pm | #

                  Oh, whether or not Sal is a perfect diviner or whether or not she is “right” about Joyce’s “realness” are very different questions than what she is probably seeing that is prompting her to view Joyce as more “real”.

                  I mean, yeah, Sal’s a kid, a kid making dumb mistakes with their best friend and resisting most forms of friendship and practicing a form of sexual self-destruction with an individual with academic power over her who also constantly belittles and undermines her. Are they right about everything? Are they holder of the one true “real”? Bob, no.

                  But I don’t think Sal has been shown to value 90s grimdark as the truest level of real. She hates Amazi-girl’s unfocused anger largely because it reminds her of herself at her worst:
                  http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/prove/

                  She has not seemed in the past to respect people who copy-cat her to try and get on her good side or even those who think really highly of her (with Joyce and with Carla).

                  She’s looked out for Joyce largely because of the sexual assault thing on multiple occasions and didn’t pressure her to become bitter about it, mostly just encouraging talking to others about it and avoiding situations or individuals who might increase the trauma or trigger it (to the level where he pulled Walky aside and told him off when he refused to respect a no with Joyce):
                  http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/agoraphobia/
                  http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/foranybody/

                  And most importantly, this:
                  http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/fudge/

                  When Joyce last tried to be like her, Sal rejected it cold, telling her to knock it off and be her authentic self. And she thought that authentic self was sweater-vest super-cheerful whiteness and she told her to own that. To be true to that instead of trying to project an image she thought might make her more palatable.

                  This is evidence that Sal doesn’t want a clone, she wants people to be honest around her, to be themselves even if it’s dorky or stupid or involves mannerisms she finds annoying. And that she specifically doesn’t want Joyce to be a clone of her.

                  So I doubt she’s going “oh yeah, she’s more brooding, like me, this is awesome”, but I can definitely see her going “hey, she’s been through shit and processing it on her own, that’s good. That’s how you get through rough stuff. That’s real.” And I think that’s what she’s doing.

                  It’s also worth noting that earlier this week was a major milestone in Joyce’s interactions with Sal. Before Gun Day, Joyce’s interactions with Sal were all her being all creepily “I want to pet your hair” hero-worshippy and Sal knew next to nothing about Joyce’s internal life. Now? She bonded on the motorcycle and saw what Joyce is like when the chips are down.

                  And more importantly?
                  This:

                  http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/damngirl/

                  Sal has now had a major heart-to-heart with her when Sal was calming down Joyce’s PTSD-caused agoraphobia. Learning a lot more about her struggles, her current PTSD resources, her recent fears with her friends, her former boyfriend, and her identity as the Whiteboard Ding-Dong Bandit. Sal at that moment knew more about Joyce’s internal life than most of her friends and got to understand what Joyce has been dealing with on another level.

                  So, another reason that Sal might consider Joyce real is because she’s seen what Joyce has kept bottled inside and she’s seeing her take her advice to talk to her friends and let them in on all of it.

                  And it’s probably why she’s brusque with said friends who are all “we want old Joyce back”. Like, to her, they’re saying “we loved it when she was repressing all her pain and hiding her struggles and fears in a really unhealthy manner” and so yeah, Sal’s gonna spike that hard and say, “fuck you, she’s being real to you about her hurt”.

                  At least, that’s my interpretation.

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  December 24, 2015 at 1:33 pm | #

                  That’s a good way to look at it. I’m probably focusing too much on Sal’s response to Joyce’s actions in that one strip, rather than taking in the entirety of Sal’s relationship with Joyce.

                • thejeff
                  thejeff
                  December 24, 2015 at 3:07 pm | #

                  I suspect there’s also a level of Sal thinking her “sweater-vest super-cheerful whiteness” was based on a false view of the world. Now that she’s been forced out of that, she’s actually dealing with the real world. She could be “real” while her whole understanding was based on her narrow home-schooled upbringing.

                  But mostly, what Cerberus said.

  5. Kelly
    Kelly
    December 24, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    Worth a try I suppose

  6. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    December 24, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    I’m surprised Joe didn’t magically appear after hearing the last line

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      December 24, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

      He got punched enough to know better.

  7. Zagreus
    Zagreus
    December 24, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    Okay, I know “you need to get laid” is a bit of a discredited trope…

    …but for Joyce, well…some TLC might be JUST what she needs.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      December 24, 2015 at 10:13 am | #

      I’m thinking Hate Sex!

      … She just needs a cuppa Joe in her life.

    • Emma
      Emma
      December 24, 2015 at 2:54 pm | #

      I think getting laid would make her problems even worse, tbh.

  8. Tacos
    Tacos
    December 24, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    Well you’ll never know unless you try, Dorothy. I guess?

  9. Mandy
    Mandy
    December 24, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    Well I guess we’ve figured out the next Slipshine topic..

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      December 24, 2015 at 2:43 am | #

      “Together They’re Agnostic” -A Dumbing of Age pornographique by David “Two college tuitions to pay for” Willis

  10. Toad
    Toad
    December 24, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    Oh alt-text, if you only knew…

  11. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    December 24, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    Only one way to find out.

    By which I mean asking her like a normal person.

    • gkheyf
      gkheyf
      December 24, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      in my experience, that particular question does not necessarily yield an accurate and unbiased response

      • John
        John
        December 24, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

        Yes, perhaps one of the most annoying things about sex is that it is nigh impossible to speak frankly about to a person you would bang without greatly diminishing the probability of banging.

        • Commodore Jeep-Eep
          Commodore Jeep-Eep
          December 24, 2015 at 4:47 pm | #

          I honestly rather like the Clan approach – walk up and ask if you want to couple. Whatever their other issues, their approach toward sexuality is refreshingly honest.

  12. Stephen R. Bierce
    Stephen R. Bierce
    December 24, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    *plays Sting’s “If I Ever Lose My Faith In You” on the Muzak*

  13. tim gueguen
    tim gueguen
    December 24, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    Don’t fall for it, Dorothy. It’s just part of Walky’s scheme to keep you learning the horrible truth: He’s gonna fail Mathematics 110.

    • Commodore Jeep-Eep
      Commodore Jeep-Eep
      December 24, 2015 at 9:52 am | #

      Comedy option: he goes to the TA that Sal is fucking and catches his sister bouncing like a jackhammer on him. Extra comedy option: instead of a primal scene with his sister and TA, he falls for the TA, starting a love triangle. Supersize comedy option: The latter, then former happens.

  14. Prinnyramza
    Prinnyramza
    December 24, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

    We won’t know until you try Dorothy

  15. Captain Button
    Captain Button
    December 24, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

    This a really bad idea, Walky.

    Dorothy seduces Joyce. When the afterglow wears off, Joyce realizes that she is bisexual after all, and knocks Dorothy out of the bunk in her haste to find Becky.

    Joyce bursts in on Becky and Dina smooching and declares her lust for Becky. Becky leaps in Joyce’s arms, instantly forgetting Dina.

    Dina screams in pain and rage and goes Full Yandere. She shapeshifts into her true form of Saurornithoides Mongoliensis. She rips Joyce and Becky into bloody pieces with her razor-sharp sickle claws.

    Dina continues down the hall, slaughtering everyone in her path. Sal and Amazi-Girl unite against her despite their animosity, but even so both fall before her.

    Danny cradles Amazi-girl’s lifeless body and screams a Big NOOOOOOOO!!! as Campus Security arrives with the Oxygen Destroyers.

    All die. Oh, the embarrassment!

    • Kelly
      Kelly
      December 24, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

      I’m kinda still hoping for Joyce being bi, but just isn’t attracted to Becky that way. Which would be sad for Becky in a way, but she has Dina now, she’ll be ok.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 24, 2015 at 12:51 am | #

        Well, given Willis’s previous statements about spiting bigots, if we can just get more bigots to complain about the number of queer characters in the comic, maybe eventually everyone will have come out as some flavor of queer.

        • Mr. Random
          Mr. Random
          December 24, 2015 at 1:11 am | #

          While, I’m not really opposed to that, it might start to feel repetitive around the time Amber starts writing slashfic of Catwoman and Black Widow.

          • zoelogical
            zoelogical
            December 26, 2015 at 12:55 am | #

            …does this exist and where can i find it

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          December 24, 2015 at 1:17 am | #

          Nah, he’ll just keep introducing new ones. You need a specific kind of biggotted complaining to trigger a drastic change in a character that already exists just to spite assholes.

          • Mr. Random
            Mr. Random
            December 24, 2015 at 2:20 am | #

            I might be mistaken but what was the reason he gave for turning Ultra Car trans? Or was she always and I just missed the foreshadowing…

            • Mr. Random
              Mr. Random
              December 24, 2015 at 2:21 am | #

              In Shortpacked!, not DoA.

              • Cerberus
                Cerberus
                December 24, 2015 at 3:04 am | #

                There was foreshadowing in Ultracar’s awkwardness in her physical form and her saving up for legs and other things that could be read in a potentially trans analogous way. I don’t believe it was planned from the start, but I suspect Willis saw the potential for a parallel and went with it.

        • Matt
          Matt
          December 24, 2015 at 1:34 am | #

          Yes there are too many non straight people in this comic. It’s not realistic. Didn’t we learn from the risk of soggies

          • Lord Stoneheart
            Lord Stoneheart
            December 24, 2015 at 8:50 am | #

            Risk of soggies isn’t that big of a concern. They may rule. It’s not a guarantee.

          • Silly Name
            Silly Name
            December 24, 2015 at 9:32 am | #

            Well, at least everybody so far is just two things, at most. We still have to see somebody who’s, say, black, gay and atheist. As long as Willis doesn’t start making people three things, we are safe from Soggies.

            • No Name
              No Name
              December 24, 2015 at 9:41 am | #

              Dina is Asian, un-diagnosed neuro-divergent, and some flavor of “not straight”. Prepare your Cap’n Crunch, for Soggies are coming.

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              December 24, 2015 at 1:04 pm | #

              Quick, someone check Bryan’s religious identification! The fate of the world may depend on it!

          • Dr. T
            Dr. T
            December 24, 2015 at 4:14 pm | #

            There are plenty of non-LGBQT characters in this series, it’s just that the featured cast are disproportionately LGBQT. This is probably partially a plot device as in this country it is still easier to stir up drama more easily for this group (which is good for the author). I also imagine that it is partially also a kickback against the 80’s-90’s general Hoosier mindset regarding LGBQT individuals, having grown up watching others behave like hateful barbarians and wondering the whole time just why they honestly think a religious figure that told them to love their neighbor wanted them to hate those particular neighbors.

      • Yet_One_More_Idiot
        Yet_One_More_Idiot
        December 24, 2015 at 6:56 am | #

        Or maybe Dorothy makes out with Joyce, causing Joyce and Dorothy to realise they are both actually into girls, and then they hook up with Beckysaurus for a 4way? 😀

    • Someone
      Someone
      December 24, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

      Before Amazi-Girl dies she whispers something in Danny’s ear, before handing him a hand grenade. Danny runs off and faces down Dina in a corridor. They run at each other, with Danny leaping up and shoving the grenade down Dina’s throat, losing his arm in the process. Dina leans down to finish him off, but he’s saved at the last minute by Riley, who pulls him out of the way, just before Dina explodes.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        December 24, 2015 at 12:23 am | #

        Then after losing his arm, Danny gets a robot one and becomes a grim ‘n’ gritty brooding 90’s anti-hero.

      • Someone
        Someone
        December 24, 2015 at 12:27 am | #

        Due to a completely unrelated event, the apocalypse happens around the same time, causing Danny, Riley, and lets say Carla to become badass mad max style wanderers. They will eventually run across Faz and Howard. Howard will have lost an eye, and become a gruff badass. Faz will still be sneaky, and will betray them, but feel really bad about it, leading to him committing a heroic sacrifice.

        • Captain Button
          Captain Button
          December 24, 2015 at 12:57 am | #

          They are captured by Uzi-wielding jumpsuited thugs and forced to work in the sub-terranean pizza mines under the stern discipline of a buxom blonde in tight black leather.

          • Dean
            Dean
            December 24, 2015 at 2:39 am | #

            They are rescued from Conquest’s pizza mine by Red Car Lady, whose car is now covered with spikes and flame-belching exhausts, and are pursued across the desert by War Toes.

        • Someone
          Someone
          December 24, 2015 at 1:01 am | #

          Fuck it, I’m fan ficing this shit

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      December 24, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

      What are you having and where can I get some?

      • EdHead
        EdHead
        December 24, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

        He’s having some highlander, you can get some in scotland.

        • inqntrol
          inqntrol
          December 24, 2015 at 10:52 am | #

          Meanwhile…

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      December 24, 2015 at 4:38 am | #

      …

      Tell me, Captain, how long have you been meditating on this scenario? 😉

      • Captain Button
        Captain Button
        December 24, 2015 at 11:03 am | #

        Since before your sun burned bright in space…

    • Arianod
      Arianod
      December 24, 2015 at 5:49 am | #

      Still, it’s good to know that Dorothy is prepared to do what it takes ^^

    • Silly Name
      Silly Name
      December 24, 2015 at 9:30 am | #

      The other way this could go is…
      “Joyce bursts in on Becky and Dina smooching and declares her lust for Becky. Becky leaps in Joyce’s arms, and then they have a threesome.”

    • Gamaran Sepudomyn
      Gamaran Sepudomyn
      December 24, 2015 at 11:30 am | #

      Bravo on the Godzilla reference.

  16. Mr. Mendo
    Mr. Mendo
    December 24, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

    …….

    Walky, you have a shot at The Belt! DO NOT screw this up! 😉

  17. EdHead
    EdHead
    December 24, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

    “I’m uploading these comics in september.”

    “Is this hellsing TAB / The Mark Remark?”

    • Lord Stoneheart
      Lord Stoneheart
      December 24, 2015 at 12:38 am | #

      I think it’s just a reference to the fact that in September the buffer was here.

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        December 24, 2015 at 1:13 am | #

        And it’s almost grown to three months at this point.

  18. Cheshrin
    Cheshrin
    December 24, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

    That fact that [i]that[/i] was Dorothy’s first response to yet another of Walky’s “lol Joyce wants to lez out with you” jokes instead of her usually “God damn it Walky” is a big flashing sign of just how worried Dorothy is about both Joyce and the rapidly growing distance in their friendship.

    Also, I see you stammering about math there, Mr. Walkerton. Get a tutor, damn it, or at least someone who’ll teach you the study skills you’ll need.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      December 24, 2015 at 12:55 am | #

      Yeah. It also reveals a lot about Dorothy’s relationship to guilt. She obviously is carrying hard Joyce’s situation with the PTSD and not being there for her during Toedad’s rampage and feels it is on her to fix that which is broken. And we’ve seen that before, with her agonizing over not hurting Danny while breaking up with him or trying to get Walky to open up about stuff that’s bothering him.

      She’s a fixer and when she can’t fix things, she starts nervously pawing at less ideal answers… such as honestly considering Walky’s nth “lol, lez out” suggestion*.

      *It would be delicious irony if Walky eventually gets dumped because Dorothy and Joyce actually did find genuine romantic connection with each other. I mean, dude is kind of asking for it with all his taunting of the irony gods.

      • BenRG
        BenRG
        December 24, 2015 at 4:40 am | #

        FWIW, I’m not sure that Walky is kidding or being obnoxious. It wouldn’t surprise me if he genuinely thinks that this is some kind of solution.

        • Yet_One_More_Idiot
          Yet_One_More_Idiot
          December 24, 2015 at 7:19 am | #

          Yep, looks to me like Walky was being completely serious with his “perhaps you need to get busy with Joyce” suggestion there. He knows that sometimes, extreme situations call for extreme solutions.

  19. nothri
    nothri
    December 24, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

    OT3! OT3! OT3!

    As opposed to my OTP, which is obvious given my avatar.

    • Yet_One_More_Idiot
      Yet_One_More_Idiot
      December 24, 2015 at 7:20 am | #

      OT4! OT4! OT4!

      (for reference, that’s Dorothy/Joyce/Becky/Dina….Walky can sit and watch :P)

  20. Kelly
    Kelly
    December 24, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

    YOU’RE PREGNANT!? CONGRATS! HURRAH SPREADING YOUR ARTISTIC BRILLIANCE GENES

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      December 24, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

      Uhhh… His wife gave birth a few weeks ago

    • Reaver
      Reaver
      December 24, 2015 at 2:39 am | #

      No no, now WILLIS is pregnant :V

      • Ntrovert60
        Ntrovert60
        December 24, 2015 at 8:50 am | #

        … With Jeph Jaques’ love child. (Grinning, ducking, and running)

        • tim guegue
          tim guegue
          December 24, 2015 at 9:04 am | #

          A love child? Please. Jacques’ progeny is a genetically engineered superbeing intended to rule the world and usher in the Singularity. And talk about butts a lot.

          • Spencer
            Spencer
            December 24, 2015 at 10:15 am | #

            I can’t believe Willlis would cheat on Joel Watson.

        • Dana
          Dana
          December 24, 2015 at 10:26 am | #

          In contemplating Willis having Jacques’ lovechild the first thought I had wasn’t “Wha? That’d be man pregnancy.” It was “But Jeph got himself snipped!

  21. Nono
    Nono
    December 24, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

    I wonder if Walky is still struggling with math, hence his stuttered response in the first panel?

    • anonymsly
      anonymsly
      December 24, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

      I suspect so. I further suspect he still hasn’t told anyone or asked for help, and is also still hoping that he more or less magically becomes Good At College and starts being able to coast again like he did in high school.

      (That might more or less be what happened to me. Spoiler alert: it did not work out well at all.)

    • Charlie Spencer
      Charlie Spencer
      December 24, 2015 at 6:16 am | #

      Everyone else seems fixated on Dorothy’s remark, but I’m with you: Walky’s comment is what caught my attention.

  22. Someone
    Someone
    December 24, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

    Walky: I get to watch

  23. batman
    batman
    December 24, 2015 at 12:20 am | #

    Slipshine: “religious dykes of passage”
    OR “the book of (sexy lezzie) acts”

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      December 24, 2015 at 12:36 am | #

      Slipshine : “perfect cinnamon roll”.
      I don’t think there’s a better title.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 24, 2015 at 12:56 am | #

        Very tasty. Very sweet.

        • Commodore Jeep-Eep
          Commodore Jeep-Eep
          December 24, 2015 at 3:15 pm | #

          What if the panel of her looking terrified in front a of is hearing her parents go on about homosexuality behind that door while it makes her think of that time she was with Dotty?

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        December 24, 2015 at 2:53 am | #

        “Agnostic on Average”

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          December 24, 2015 at 3:31 am | #

          The day Joyce made Dotty scream for God.

  24. Edupoet81
    Edupoet81
    December 24, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

    Walky’s stutter in response to the question about math doesn’t bode well. . We last actually saw him get a quiz back on a Monday, not long before everything happened with Toedad. Since then, there would have been a Wednesday class, and the Friday class presumably just let out. I’m guessing the situation hasn’t improved? Ah, well, I really didn’t think the situation would be resolved that easily.

    Joyce’s smile in panel 2 is a mere shadow of her trademark triangle smile. Based on my less-than-proficient face reading skills, the smile doesn’t seem to be reaching her eyes. She is not fine, unless our definition is according to the acronym FINE. Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional. Maybe Joyce is telling the truth when she she says she’s fine.

    I hope my use of this acronym isn’t insulting to anyone who’s going through something. I don’t intend it to be. I’m no stranger to struggle, and mental health challenges, and I’ve applied this term to myself. I’ve had issues IRL where I didn’t realize the effect my words had on another person, and it lead to issues. I honestly don’t want to upset anyone. I apologize if I offended anyone.

    • Maveric1984
      Maveric1984
      December 24, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

      Technically Walky didn’t lie, math is going the same as it had been. Unfortunately, that means it’s not going well

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 24, 2015 at 1:10 am | #

        Yup.

        I suspect Walky’s stubborn clinging to his pride may last all the way to midterms and the irrefutable truth that he’s heading for an F if he doesn’t change his habits.

        • DarkoNeko
          DarkoNeko
          December 24, 2015 at 3:32 am | #

          nah, probably not the mid-terms. I mean, that’d be in 10 years IRL.

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      December 24, 2015 at 8:46 am | #

      Louise Penny uses that acronym (FINE) in her books, but e is for egotistical. Very well written mysteries set in Canada. Unsure if that was a call out or if that is used elsewhere. Penny can be a bit of a poacher.

  25. Squirrel
    Squirrel
    December 24, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

    I think Joyce needs a long discussion with a liberal Christian. She needs to see she can love her God and live in reality with everyone else. At least that’s what worked for me.

    • Jackson
      Jackson
      December 24, 2015 at 12:36 am | #

      Yeah, I think that could be really helpful for her. Unfortunately, as far as I can gather, she’s spent most of her life to date avoiding liberal Christians like the plague.

      • newllend(Henryvolt)
        newllend(Henryvolt)
        December 24, 2015 at 12:53 am | #

        she was also suppose to avoid atheist too but now her best friend is one….you know what would help? a good old talk with her dear brother.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          December 24, 2015 at 1:09 am | #

          *evil smile* I’m really looking forward to her homecoming, because I suspect that Jocelyne might be living at home at the moment, which means that there will be a lot of potential moments of interaction even if she is not fully ready to come out to her sister yet.

        • Reaver
          Reaver
          December 24, 2015 at 2:40 am | #

          She doesn’t have a brother, she does however have a sister:P

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            December 24, 2015 at 3:05 am | #

            She does have two brothers as well as the one sister. But point definitely stands. 🙂

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            December 24, 2015 at 3:18 am | #

            She has three older siblings in this continuity, Jocelyne, Joseph, and Jordan. (Not necessarily in that order.) We’ll see at least two of them later.

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              December 24, 2015 at 7:15 am | #

              Jonathan, not Joseph. (That might be one of the ones that didn’t make it over from the old universe.)

          • Emma
            Emma
            December 24, 2015 at 2:06 pm | #

            I think perhaps newllend meant ‘brother’ from Joyce’s point of view.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      December 24, 2015 at 12:57 am | #

      Except, she has that with Becky. The problem is that Becky is being a liberal Christian by rejecting aspects she was taught like the evil of homosexuality and the rightness of creationism. And Joyce isn’t quite ready to do that yet and so is emotionally struggling right now.

      She’s letting go of some of her tainted beliefs, but is still scared she is selling her soul in standing for what is right.

      • Squirrel
        Squirrel
        December 24, 2015 at 1:30 am | #

        Becky is a recent and sudden convert.
        She needs someone who is stable and maybe even understands her doubts and the confusion.
        I grew up a strict Catholic. It’s really jarring learning everything you believed is wrong up to a point. To learn it the way she has, it reaches a level I never had to deal with thankfully.
        It still took a trans woman sitting me down and explaining everything to me for me to learn I could have my God and liberalism.

    • Willoughby Chase
      Willoughby Chase
      December 24, 2015 at 4:16 am | #

      The next chapter heading is “When God Closes a Door” so I shouldn’t get too hopeful.

      • Lord Stoneheart
        Lord Stoneheart
        December 24, 2015 at 12:45 pm | #

        Just to be a pedant (It’s super fun!) the next chapter is “When God Closes the Door”.

        Normally I wouldn’t pay too close attention to the choice of article but I swear I read somewhere that Joyce is from La Porte. (Which translates to The Door)

        I suspect that Joyce is not in for a pleasant homecoming at all.

        • Commodore Jeep-Eep
          Commodore Jeep-Eep
          December 24, 2015 at 4:22 pm | #

          Fuck.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 24, 2015 at 1:08 pm | #

        Oh geez, Joyce is going to leap out a window…

      • Squirrel
        Squirrel
        December 25, 2015 at 11:56 am | #

        When one door closes, another one opens.

  26. Extreme Atomic Marine
    Extreme Atomic Marine
    December 24, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

    Walky will freak out if Dot really sexed up Joyce like he said.

    • Kelly
      Kelly
      December 24, 2015 at 12:31 am | #

      Nah, only if Dorothy afterward dumped him for Joyce would he be bothered by it. No need for that, I think. Dorothy could be the first female atheist bisexual president in a poly relationship with with a man and a woman.

      • Captain Button
        Captain Button
        December 24, 2015 at 12:39 am | #

        But what if someday the wrong female atheist bisexual president in a poly relationship with with a man and a woman runs for office?

        • Kelly
          Kelly
          December 24, 2015 at 12:44 am | #

          You mean like J&W!Dorothy possessed by HA? That would be bad!

        • Tacos
          Tacos
          December 24, 2015 at 12:49 am | #

          Iunno. Hijinks would ensue?

          • Kelly
            Kelly
            December 24, 2015 at 12:51 am | #

            No, it’s sharksplode now!

  27. IDontcarenomore
    IDontcarenomore
    December 24, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

    That answers the question I had wondering about how Walky was doing in his math (and other classes?).

    Joyce is quiet but just maybe she is just trying to assimilate all of the many events of the past few days.

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      December 24, 2015 at 12:34 am | #

      Yeah, he’s totally sinking, it seems.

  28. IDontcarenomore
    IDontcarenomore
    December 24, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

    It had looked as if Joyce was walking alone immediately after the cycle ride, if her friends let her, she may just start doing that.
    She didn’t seem to care much one way or other about Walky being there or maybe it is just the hug?

  29. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    December 24, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

    “I’m fine”.
    Joyce totally is seeing throught you~

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      December 24, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

      Also the alt text is hilarous.

  30. Noclevername
    Noclevername
    December 24, 2015 at 12:35 am | #

    One True Ninesome. (Joyce/Dorothy/Walky/Becky/Dina/Amber/Danny/Ethan/somehow Joe sneaks in.)

    • Kelly
      Kelly
      December 24, 2015 at 12:41 am | #

      Joyce/Dorothy/Walky/Becky/Dina I understand (and support if we are talking absurdly large ships), and Amber/Danny/Ethan (you stay out of this Joe), but I don’t know where the crossover between those two groups would come in.

      • Noclevername
        Noclevername
        December 24, 2015 at 2:58 am | #

        The link is Dina/Amber: Sympathy Through Full Body Physical Contact.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          December 24, 2015 at 10:25 am | #

          And Danny/Dorothy – she didn’t break up with him because he was bad in the sack…

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 24, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

      Roz cannot participate because she has her hands full providing the contraceptives and instructing people in their proper use.

      • Dean
        Dean
        December 24, 2015 at 6:24 am | #

        Someone has to work the video camera, after all.

  31. Maycroft
    Maycroft
    December 24, 2015 at 12:41 am | #

    Yes, yes it would

  32. Ray
    Ray
    December 24, 2015 at 12:41 am | #

    Well, it works for Walky (on a regular basis), so maybe there’s something to it…..

  33. newllend(Henryvolt)
    newllend(Henryvolt)
    December 24, 2015 at 12:44 am | #

    give or take on a 50/50 chance.

  34. lime sheep
    lime sheep
    December 24, 2015 at 12:45 am | #

    what im getting from this is she’d totally do it

    (but no, that wouldn’t work)

  35. Robert
    Robert
    December 24, 2015 at 12:46 am | #

    This is the part where Faz creeps his head from beyond some shrubs at the very mention of the word “Bang”

  36. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    December 24, 2015 at 1:06 am | #

    Interestingly enough, Walky’s first line in the last panel has some validity (not necessarily the infinite plus one bang suggestion, though it sets up an excellent punchline). That Joyce is smiling momentarily is progress. When things are tumultuous and you’re stuck in your head a lot, it can be hard to fully access your emotions, doubly so after fresh trauma.

    In fact, there’s a name for the condition in PTSD. It’s called “hypoarousal” and it’s basically a condition where after a trauma, it becomes harder to feel things and things just generally shut down. You start slowing down and often are prone to spells of sadness, irritability and low-grade nervousness. Additionally, it can be hard to both show joy and gratitude to actions that would normally make you feel happy and it can lead to situations like Ruth involving depression and the loss of any ability to feel emotions at all.

    And I think that’s exactly what is happening with Joyce. And well, her ability to show joy at touch even in small moments is a good sign. It means, that there might be a slow thawing of the hypoaroused state.

    However, the fact that it is this intense to begin with means that her PTSD is definitely starting to become compound PTSD with all the big terrible life events she is racking up and without therapy and not feeling fully comfortable sharing what is happening internally with her friends, she may run into some bumpy roads trying to recover.

    • Rabid Rabbit
      Rabid Rabbit
      December 24, 2015 at 3:59 am | #

      But Joyce smiling being a good sign is still better than Ruth crying being a good sign, right? Right?

      (Man, when did I get so sentimental?)

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 24, 2015 at 1:12 pm | #

        It’s a bit apples and oranges. But they are both good signs. Ruth having emotions other than lust and anger is very good and being able to consistently access sadness is critical for her recovery (also girl needs anti-depressants in the worst way). In a very similar way, Joyce having moments like these where she’s pulling briefly out of the hypoarousal is a good sign for healthily living with her PTSD.

        But it also means they both have a hard road that is not at all fun, speaking as an individual whose had both clinical depression and PTSD-related hypoarousal.

  37. Zephindabius
    Zephindabius
    December 24, 2015 at 1:42 am | #

    It’s been stated that Joyce is autobiographical, are there any parallels you can share without spoilers, Mr. Willis?

  38. Skizz
    Skizz
    December 24, 2015 at 1:48 am | #

    Yes, yes it would work. Absolutely, 100%.

  39. Tomas
    Tomas
    December 24, 2015 at 2:04 am | #

    Christian side hug.

  40. BenRG
    BenRG
    December 24, 2015 at 2:10 am | #

    Damn you, Willis! Why must you be so good at making me sad?

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      December 24, 2015 at 2:15 am | #

      Because we live in a world ruled by a merciless God.

  41. Bagge
    Bagge
    December 24, 2015 at 2:39 am | #

    I can’t put my finger on why, but I LOVE the colors in this one. Something with the contrast between Joyce and Dorothy’s color schemes.

    Anyway, this is breaking my heart, and Dorothy’s too if I am any judge.

    For reference, this is about a week after this http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/spendmoretime/

  42. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    December 24, 2015 at 2:46 am | #

    Oh please, everyone think sex is the answer to everything when it’s clearly the number 42.

  43. Meamoi
    Meamoi
    December 24, 2015 at 2:59 am | #

    Joyce – almost died and around the same time may be coming to the conclusion that there’s no afterlife.

    Following conversation…
    Joyce: “D..dor…Dorothy… how do… how do you live… with…. knowing one day…. you’ll just… not… *tears up*… not..be?”
    Dorothy: “I don’t.”
    Joyce: “W…wha?”
    Dorothy: “I’ve got a life insurance policy that’s paying for my cryogenic freezing if I ever kick the bucket, since that is currently in option now. And possibly before (or after) that point, depending on when science get’s there, I’ll switch out for a cyborg body that doesn’t age or get old. I’m a veritable immortal.”
    Joyce: “So… there’s no one… who… und….understan…”
    Dorothy: “Shhhh…. lets go look over life insurance plans for you.”

    • Commodore Jeep-Eep
      Commodore Jeep-Eep
      December 24, 2015 at 9:48 am | #

      If that was the case, I’d lose respect like nothing’s business. I’ve got no patience for ‘atheists’ who fall for such an obvious con and who can’t clear arguably one of the most important hurdles for an atheist, which is accepting one’s own impermanence and inevitable death. Folks who can’t pull up their big girl panties deserve tuna cans frozen to their foreheads for all eternity – and yes, that is something that happens in those freezers.

  44. Raibean
    Raibean
    December 24, 2015 at 3:38 am | #

    Dorothy… if you care enough about her that you would have sex with her… give some serious thought to your sexuality. I’m not saying that asexuals don’t have sex with their loved ones, but I am saying… think long and hard about it.

    • Cizak
      Cizak
      December 24, 2015 at 4:02 am | #

      It’s possible to have sex without being very sexually aroused. I could probably have sex with a man. Doesn’t necessarily mean I’m bisexual.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 24, 2015 at 1:14 pm | #

        True, but if you were seriously considering having sex with a man out of the blue, then… let’s just say that Kinsey 0 as far as she can tell may not be so null as she thinks.

      • Raibean
        Raibean
        December 25, 2015 at 12:59 pm | #

        My comment already accounted for this when I mentioned asexuality, which is a sexual orientation in which you don’t experience sexual attraction.

    • Commodore Jeep-Eep
      Commodore Jeep-Eep
      December 24, 2015 at 3:49 pm | #

      Is that foreshadowing I see in panel three:http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/kinsey/

  45. Rabid Rabbit
    Rabid Rabbit
    December 24, 2015 at 4:06 am | #

    I have to admit I’m amused at the number of commenters who think that Dorothy is actually seriously considering it in the last panel as opposed to numbly finding something to say about the situation.

    Yes, I’m aware of http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/kinsey/. But sleeping with someone because you think it might fix them is different from doing so because you actually want to. And would be kind of disturbing, really, especially from someone who as recently as a few days ago was pretty certain she was exclusively straight.

    TL;DR: shippers, you get creepy really, really fast. But then I suppose that’s the whole point.

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      December 24, 2015 at 4:22 am | #

      This is side of the internet is less creepy and nicer than other sides “cough deep web cough”.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      December 24, 2015 at 4:24 am | #

      It isn’t Dorothy I’m worried about, it’s Walky. He’s the sort of guy who wouldn’t understand the subtleties of the situation and take it at bald face value.

      The first hint Dorothy would get of this is when she’s grabbed by a furious Sal who is demanding to know why she thinks it’s right to seduce Joyce to ‘make her feel better’. After an argument, it turns out that Walky asked Sal if it was appropriate for him to ask for permission to watch the action.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      December 24, 2015 at 4:48 am | #

      Just an additional thought: It probably says more about the Internet than it does about Willis’s characters that people can’t imagine Joyce and Dorothy having a deep, intimate friendship that has absolutely no romantic or sexual element.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        December 24, 2015 at 9:03 am | #

        Well, given that Willis’s characters keep bringing it up, I don’t think it’s just us.

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          December 24, 2015 at 10:14 am | #

          Walky is the only person who brings it up and Walky is a gigantic butthole with absolutely no understanding of homosexuality.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            December 24, 2015 at 1:05 pm | #

            Becky misinterpreted Dorothy as a romantic rival.

            Joyce having bisexual tendencies is a thing Willis has been hinting at, even beyond Dorothy: “warm and safe” in Billie’s breasts, for example. Her relationship with Sal had elements of “crush” as well.

            Mind you, I don’t think he’s actually going there, but the hints are real. Certainly enough to set shippers off. Of course two characters existing is enough to set shippers off, much less actually talking to each other.:)

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              December 24, 2015 at 1:20 pm | #

              And it is also noted that she learned what a platonic friendship looks like from a woman who has turned out to have had a years’ long crush on her.

              And yeah, don’t really think it is serious at all.

              Mainly because “sex to fix someone” is a completely disgusting trope when played straight. Or it at least to me is really triggering and off-putting, because of my background as an ace woman and the unfortunate reality of individuals thinking their punguses and dingdongs will “cure us” if we just let them “heal us” with their sex.

              And frankly I trust Willis enough to not go there.

            • Spencer
              Spencer
              December 24, 2015 at 1:45 pm | #

              Oh yeah, I forgot that Becky did that too, though she at least had pretty valid reasons for believing it.

              FWIW I do think Joyce might not be a solid Kinsey 0, at the least I think it’s a perfectly valid interpretation of the character, but Walky treats it like he’s trying to humiliate Joyce and using her friendship with Dorothy to do it.

              • thejeff
                thejeff
                December 24, 2015 at 3:19 pm | #

                Walky is, as usual, crude and not at all respectful. I don’t think he means anything harmful by it, which doesn’t mean it can’t hurt. He’s also smarter and far more perceptive than he lets on, so I wouldn’t dismiss what he sees.

                But mostly yeah, I think the perception is due to her idea of close female friendships being shaped by her friendship with Becky, who was, probably unintentionally, treating it more as a romance than a friendship.

                Why do all of my posts basically just say: “See what Cerberus just wrote”?

                • Spencer
                  Spencer
                  December 25, 2015 at 9:22 am | #

                  Walky is pretty smart, but perceptive he is not, let alone when it comes to sexuality. He sussed out that Ethan was gay because he didn’t act enough like how Walky thinks a heterosexual man should with a woman, and he thinks Joyce is seconds away from lezzing out because how else could a woman have a close, intimate friendship with another.

                  And yeah he’s probably not trying to cause serious harm but he’s still just annoying her for his own amusement. That’s what he does.

  46. Willoughby Chase
    Willoughby Chase
    December 24, 2015 at 4:24 am | #

    “I’m fine” in a “No I’m fucking dying inside now leave me alone” manner.

    • Captain Button
      Captain Button
      December 24, 2015 at 6:58 am | #

      We need to compile a Joyce-English phrase book. There is this, and “I’m getting soft serve.” in a “Fuck You.” manner.

      What else?

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      December 24, 2015 at 1:23 pm | #

      It could also mean:

      “I’m emotionally suffering, but I’d prefer not to talk about it or make you worry unduly. Especially since part of my suffering is due to how my friendships with you and Becky is making me question the very values I was brought up to believe. And I’m scared that the fact that I think said values may actually be immoral in places is what everyone back home warned me was the path straight to Hell.”

  47. BenRG
    BenRG
    December 24, 2015 at 4:35 am | #

    Jumping away from the Joyce x Dotty shipping, I see that Walky is still hiding his problems in class from everyone, even his girlfriend. I suspect that he feels somewhat ashamed that he is having trouble and it has become an aspect of his self-esteem to keep it hidden from his peers.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      December 24, 2015 at 1:25 pm | #

      He thinks “having to try hard to maintain a good grade” or “struggling in a subject” is synonymous with “idiot” and he has too much pride and self-image wrapped up in being so “smart” he doesn’t even need to try.

      So yeah, because he wouldn’t respect anyone in his position, he’s not going to tell any of his friends unless it is completely unavoidable.

    • Emma
      Emma
      December 24, 2015 at 2:52 pm | #

      I think he’s hiding it from Dorothy because he thinks she’ll leave him if she finds out that he’s not actually breezing through college with straight A’s like he told her he was.

      I don’t think she’d leave him because of that. Honestly, I think she’d love to have study dates. But I think Walky is starting to feel like he’s an idiot, like he’s failing everyone around him.

  48. Varangian
    Varangian
    December 24, 2015 at 5:31 am | #

    Real Talk: if Dot and Joyce and Walky were to Do The Thing, that would be a real bad threesome, like the friendship-destroying kind

    Which would actually contrast nicely with Actual OT3 Danny/Amber/Ethan

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      December 24, 2015 at 10:12 am | #

      I still don’t get how anybody thinks those three could work.

      • Dana
        Dana
        December 24, 2015 at 12:00 pm | #

        I’m thinking it could if, say, Amber and Danny stay together through college and beyond, have an open and/or poly relationship, and Ethan were not the first guy for Danny. Even then it could be bad. Really bad. So yeah, It seems like compounding disaster with disaster if it were done in the timeframe of the comic.

        • Commodore Jeep-Eep
          Commodore Jeep-Eep
          December 24, 2015 at 12:44 pm | #

          Here it comes then !

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        December 24, 2015 at 1:36 pm | #

        Honestly, if you only consider Ethan and Amber, it could totally work.

        Ethan is very easy-going and is probably looking for something that is lower commitment for a first-relationship as everything is super scary. He is also very much wanting to connect back in Amber’s life and feels guilty for not really being able to be there sexually for her.

        And Amber? Amber has frequently been shown to have a fetish for both two men being together and threesomes. She’s made punchlines on multiple occasions about someone in her fantasies being bisexual and wanting a threesome and she is sexually attracted to both Ethan and Danny. As such, I could not only see her enjoying a poly V, but being the one to suggest it.

        So where would it all fall apart? Danny.

        Danny is really monogamous and wants a monogamous relationship structure. He wants to be the one big thing in someone’s life and have them be the one big thing in his and he is not at all comfortable having sexual attractions to multiple people. While he is sexually and romantically interested in both Amber and Ethan (as well as Amber’s alters) and while he may be willing to do Amber a solid if he thought he owed her, he’s just too mono to be comfortable for very long in a poly setup. Especially one where he is the center of the V.

        And it’s a shame because it would be cool to see more stable poly representation (though I’d dislike it if the only currently out bi man was shown to be poly oriented as it’s a pretty nasty stereotype of bi men that they are inherently untrustworthy in monogamous relationships (though not nearly as much as I’d dislike it if he was shown to be a cheater, because fricking every depiction of bi men in media shows them to be untrustworthy cheaters and it’s annoying as fuck)).

        • Spencer
          Spencer
          December 24, 2015 at 3:01 pm | #

          Disregarding Danny, because let’s face it that dude is the idea of monogamy made manifest, I’m not entirely sure Ethan and Amber would be up for being in a relationship with each other, even with a third person they were mutually into. I don’t think Ethan can romantically love her and Amber’s described sex as “weird and personal”. Even in Shortpacked they fought a lot over Mike.

          I feel like there’s still too much bitterness and guilt between the two for them to actually have a poly romance with each other.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          December 24, 2015 at 3:27 pm | #

          Hmm. I suspect Amber would be a problem as well.
          First, fantasizing about threesomes or somesuch is far more common than actually wanting to be in one or even more being able to deal with a long-term poly relationship.
          More importantly, Amber’s in no place to handle this. Her first instinct would be to back out of the relationship. “Amber’s no good. She doesn’t deserve this. Let Danny be happy with Ethan.” That’s a poisonous attitude to bring into any relationship, but I suspect it would be even worse in a poly one.

        • brumagem
          brumagem
          December 24, 2015 at 9:07 pm | #

          To be fair, Danny had never heard of bisexuality before this week so it’s not fair to say he knows anything about non-mono relationships. To him anything besides what he knows is either “cheating” or “swingers” and he doesn’t like either of those things.

          Given that Danny can be educated about polyfidelity (and is cool with it), Amber does not freak out about the bi thing (given past experience with Ethan), and Ethan is not completely turned off by a nekkid Amber in the room, I think they’d make a great trio.

          Sure it’s a long shot, but this ship still sails.

  49. Uniquitous
    Uniquitous
    December 24, 2015 at 6:45 am | #

    I think she should at least make the attempt. For friendship.

  50. JTD
    JTD
    December 24, 2015 at 7:02 am | #

    Only one way to find out, Dorothy!

  51. Richard Oot
    Richard Oot
    December 24, 2015 at 7:41 am | #

    http://pbfcomics.com/131/
    “I saw a smiiiille”…

  52. Kheldan
    Kheldan
    December 24, 2015 at 10:40 am | #

    One does not simply ‘bounce back’ from having their entire world-view shattered into a million pieces.

  53. Sigurther
    Sigurther
    December 24, 2015 at 12:08 pm | #

    Aaaaand straight to slipshine, zero emphasis on the ‘straight’ part.

  54. Julez
    Julez
    December 24, 2015 at 12:23 pm | #

    Man… Joyce REALLY should talk to a therapist of some sort.

  55. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    December 24, 2015 at 12:34 pm | #

    Next Slipshine confirmed!

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      December 24, 2015 at 1:02 pm | #

      … Well, Joe is an appropriate gravatar for that.

  56. Griffin
    Griffin
    December 24, 2015 at 1:29 pm | #

    In sincerity…Joyce is probably going to be okay. At the very least, her being a bit mopey after everything she’s just been through isn’t huge cause for concern. I had a really hard time with this same transition, but I’m better for it now.

    I’m worried about how much she’s going to be hurt in the interim, but she’s probably going to be fine.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      December 24, 2015 at 1:41 pm | #

      Yeah, this. It hurts having to radically realign everything you thought you knew about yourself and the people who claimed to love you. And it takes a little bit of time to recover from. Especially when its prefaced by some really scary violent trauma.

      Joyce has a lot on her mind and doesn’t feel like she’s got anyone who really understands (Becky would normally be the perfect person to go to on this, but Becky has not been shown to struggle with her faith. She knows that her idea of God loves her and would never lie to her, so everything that doesn’t fit that must be bullshit and can be thrown away).

      So she’s going to be mostly incommunicado for a bit.

      She’s also probably summoning up emotional armor for her visit home this weekend. She knows that her mom is emotionally manipulative and can say awful things, so she needs to gather a lot of strength up for dealing with that in the midst of her loss of faith.

  57. Emoroffle
    Emoroffle
    December 24, 2015 at 2:50 pm | #

    I don’t know if it will work, but for the sake of the fans you have to try.

  58. Emma
    Emma
    December 24, 2015 at 2:53 pm | #

    Well, it’d give Becky an actual reason to hate you.

  59. Kryss LaBryn
    Kryss LaBryn
    December 24, 2015 at 3:26 pm | #

    …That isn’t a no.

    Yay!

  60. pervaroni
    pervaroni
    December 24, 2015 at 4:25 pm | #

    It’d work for US

  61. Stormtrooper0914
    Stormtrooper0914
    December 25, 2015 at 12:57 am | #

    Uhhh…next sliphine idea?

  62. Rutee
    Rutee
    December 25, 2015 at 12:42 pm | #

    I support this course of action.

  63. Damned
    Damned
    December 26, 2015 at 10:26 am | #

    alt text is too dang cute

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May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 41min
today in #9chickweedlane i learned we have to be shown children learning and relearning what sex is, for Reasons, even though they already clearly know and have prepared nuanced questions about it! also that Gran must hate, if she's still alive, how Old Juliette is the same but with gray hair
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one of my favorite things is when a commenter explodes WHEN DO THESE CHARACTERS GET THERAPY but directed towards a character who canonically has a regular therapist
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hey, FANTASTIC FOUR got an Eisner nomination for best ongoing series!! I think this news is... really great! Fantastic even :0
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
oh no, new content over at the nsfw patreon joe introduces joyce to fingers that aren't breaded chicken www.patreon.com/posts/joe-fi...
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I may have to pin this
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