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Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Beeserker
TJ Cordes
This comic is about a robot powered by bees, but it's also about the kind of people who think filling a robot with bees is a good idea, and why they're wrong.
Paint the Town Red
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David M Willis
Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
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T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
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Mac Hall
Matt Boyd
The legendary early-aughts webcomic that inspired a wave of webcomic creators.
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Now if someone could just make an animation oscillating from big blue eyed Joyce, through depressed little blue eyes, anger red eyes, to terrified eyes. (Yeah, I know. Too many different angles)
Probably no one will read this, which is just as well…
Back in college, a group of us were sitting in a local restaurant, discussing strategies for the spy mission in an RPG we were currently playing. One of us, who had a particularly carrying voice, was talking about the possibility of just assassinating the popular US VP candidate (who we had good reason to believe was a foreign agent) as a way of preventing them from coming into power. Oh, and did I mention it was a presidential election year in the real world, as well? Yeah, we got a lot of weird looks from the other diners…
I think the most “Casey and Andy” way the story could go would involve time travel, dimensional travel, a B&E-O-Mat, and the intrusion being interrupted by Quantum Cop, who would explain to them why trying to quantum tunnel through the wall isn’t actually going to work.
Jocelyne, from the side of her mouth to the others. “Quick, anyone got any money, we have to bribe her.”
Billie, pops in from the left: “Here, a twenty to shut up. Also, you are all nerds.”
I must confess: I think of this song almost every time Ruth is in a strip. Which is crazy, because the woman in the song makes fun of the Maple Leafs fans, but . . . .
No, she’s Christian, she just doesn’t believe in the hyper-vigilant judgmental version of God she was raised with. Her idea of God is one that doesn’t get all verklempt about premarital sex or having to break some stupid rules to survive and answers lesbian prayers.
I’m betting she’s hoping “God is watching” this, largely because she could use the help when it all goes wrong.
Long answer: If we take a vessel like a bus or a spaceship and shrink it to the size of a molecule, and assuming it goes through a massive amount of coincidences that lead it to the lungs, we can defer that not only shouldn’t we send people into other people’s bodies, but Joyce is not breathing at this point.
“I’m not paid enough to care as long as you’re not planning, like, a violent crime. Though hey, I know a locksmith who doesn’t ask questions, if you’re interested.”
Hey you’re Carrie the dragon? I’m Cas the dragon if you ask my friends! Also, cool gravatar, Joyce faces are awesome. They give me life and pulled me from my brief hiatus.
Ah I’ll have to look to see who did this but it was someone else in yesterday’s strip that did it but I’m on a tablet and can’t look. If you ctrl f and type challenge accepted you should fee able to find who did it!
The creator of the Gravatar is Ana Chronistic. I remember because it was my “challenge” she accepted, which was put forward, in turn, as a suggestion to RP – you might have to share, in other words.
Jocelyn’s explanation appears to have had zero effect on Joyce. Is she just going to ignore the whole fact that there’s nothing wrong with it? Freaked out for no reason. At least I got a good laugh out of it.
Joyce doesn’t react to whether things are right or wrong. She reacts to what people say. Joss called it “robbery” before. Now Becky is saying “who would know?” when Joyce fully believes that God is watching.
And someone linked 3 other examples of the zombie face up thread. The first one is when Ruth has said she will beat Joyce with her own femurs if she doesn’t show up for a meeting. The second is when Mike says “ALL HAIL SATAN” to Joyce’s mom on the phone. And the third one is when Sal says she lost her virginity playing a card game that Joyce thinks is completely innocent.
When someone says something both unexpected and completely at odds with Joyce’s worldview, it freaks her out. Even more so when it’s someone she thought she knew really well.
If Carol thought Becky going to Ross’s house would get Becky in trouble with the law, she would consider that a feature, not a bug. Get that dirty sinner away from her innocent baby girl before it is too late.
In my head I’m just hearing the scene from Over The Garden Wall like
Joyce: We don’t have to break in, Becky can do what she wants
Becky: I wanna Steal
Look. Wolf, I like you. You’re one of the best technicians the PAYDAY gang has to offer. But you’re consumed by your shitty ideas. Your GF, Amazi-Girl? She doesn’t exist. I’ve been getting Clover to dress up in freaking piss yellow spandex for god knows how long just to keep this shit up. Now, I think I’M going nuts just leading you on.
There’s a reason you didn’t go to Russia with us on that Boiling Point job, because you would get us all killed.
So I’m giving you another chance. Go see a doctor or something. Settle this out, or else I’m kicking you out.
He’s not wrong. With her father in prison and her being his only family, she has ever right to get into the house.
Given the presumably high-profile nature of the school shooting, it’s entirely possible the police would have released his keys to her after they examined the house. But that’s not as much fun.
Why would they have had to examine the house? The crime didn’t take place anywhere near it. Becky was likely able to pick up Ross’ personal effects once they were finished processing, but with everything that happened all at once I doubt she even realizes/remembers that.
As for the legality: I agree, unless there’s something else going on that I don’t know about. Her father took her from school, that’s her legal residence, and now that he’s in jail for kidnapping, public shooting, and possibly attempted murder of Amazi-Girl, it’s not like there’s anyone to claim ownership of the house over her. She could literally have it bulldozed if she wanted.
Because he was an active shooter on a campus. Usually they’ll examine the shooters residence looking for evidence they were making bombs or considering other threats or in communication with other shooters.
Except Ross wasn’t a school shooter trying to kill a bunch of random bystanders for unknown reasons; he was an armed kidnapper, and the kidnapping he attempted was foiled when his car flipped on the side of the highway and he got beaten unconscious. I mean, the moment they first learned anything about his identity was likely around the time Becky called 911, and even if they talked to Dorothy or Dina (the only people remaining on campus who had any idea of the shooter’s or victim’s identity) it’s not like they had any clue where “Ross MacIntyre” lived until then (did they even KNOW his first name yet?).
WELL before the time they could have taken Ross’ keys, driven all the way to La Porte with either a warrant or Becky’s permission, searched the house, and returned… they would have already had all the information they needed to know about what he was doing and why. He wasn’t even carrying a super illegal weapon or anything either, it looked like a standard hunting rifle. Searching his house just seems completely superfluous at that point.
It really doesn’t matter why he did it. Anyone who shoots up a college campus is going to get a house search. I think many violent felons will have a search warrant for the house even if they did their criminal activity far from home. I think it might be reasonable to assume the cops would look for other illegal activity to go along with it.
It’s also been a few days since the shooting. The search warrant, if it exists, would have already been executed. I doubt his stuff would go to her. It’s probably evidence.
A violent, unstable criminal is going to get their house searched because if you’re nuts enough to threaten to kill your own daughter because she’s a lesbian, who knows what other crazy shit you might have been doing.
Sure, most of the time it turns out there’s nothing else, but better safe than sorry. For all the police knows, Ross might have committed other violent crimes towards lesbian women (and LGBTQ people in general), and this was just the first time he got caught.
This. Also, the Bloomington cops would want to investigate further to make sure he didn’t have accomplices and so Becky and the students of Indiana U weren’t in further danger.
That all being said, it’s possible that the house wouldn’t have been searched because La Porte Police Department might not see it as the same priority as Bloomington PD.
And that’s actually why she’s also unlikely to have much immediate police support if they get caught. In Bloomington, she might have sympathetic cops that remember her from that awful school shooting/kidnapping case like the guy outside Toedad’s hospital room, but in La Porte, she’s just the (slur for lesbian) that got her daddy locked up even though he tried to save her soul. So being recognized as the victim of that case will actually work against her.
I think you actually need the person who signed the lease in order for that. That, or some sort of official paperwork for death/incarceration that grants the estate to you instead. Which I expect takes some time to process.
I mean, she’d likely face the same issue trying to hire someone to demolish the house. Officially. But in theory if she could operate a bulldozer she could probably use one herself to do the job and not have any legal trouble.
And then sell the parts? Or maybe deconstruct it and sell the parts. You can get quite a lot of money by doing that. But that’s just my habitual mental extrapolation, I know it won’t ever happen here (and it makes me sad)
Except the deed is in Ross’s name. The world doesn’t stop just because someone is put in jail: he’s not dead nor even convicted yet, so the property is still legally his responsibility. Becky has little or no legal standing (except as an adult who can claim legal residency) unless Ross grants her power of attorney… and I think we all know how likely that will be. PoA will likely fall to his lawyer or his bank, neither of which have Becky’s interests in mind. Not to say they are necessarily monsters who will ignore her plight, she just isn’t their client; Ross is.
Attempted murder will be really hard to make stick. Amazigirl will be unlikely to testify unless they can suss out her identity (which might be possible, since she is very likely a Person of Interest to the cops). Without her testimony as to her motives, Ross can easily claim self-defense, since SHE was attacking HIM at the time. The rest of it (kidnapping, aggravated menacing, discharge of a firearm, various reckless behaviours) is fairly cut-and-dry, but he can still petition for leniency… and might get it, too, if the jury is polled from the tight-asses that seem to inhabit the non-university portions of the state.
Self-defense is tricky to claim while you’re in the middle of a felony. Attacking someone to stop them from kidnapping is legal and they don’t get to claim self-defense if they shoot you.
The point that an attempted murder conviction will be hard to get without Amazi-Girl’s cooperation is a better one.
Mustelids, anyway. Checking around a bit, they’re actually more closely related to wolverines than true weasels. (But both are pretty close to weasels.)
She could take the year of paperwork, stress, and so on and do it properly… or she could wacky hijinks. Becky is much more a wacky hijinks kinda girl. And Jocelyne is playing to that impulse completely. Plus, I guarantee Becky is feeling anxious to be beginning her new life as soon as physically possible so as not to fall too far behind her friends and her girlfriend.
Hopefully it won’t end completely in badness and tears.
They’re all going to jail! The waitress will Tell All. There are cops having lunch two booths over! There’s an intrepid reporter taking it all down and she’ll write the story and the paper will use Joyce’s bad ID photo for the picture!
I’ve broken into my own home. It was the summer between graduating high school and going away to college, my parents were away for the week and I threw a party. The next day I went to a diner for breakfast with my girlfriend and a few others and lost my keys down a sewer drain. I had to break the window to my room to get in.
The film noir version of this would have the waitress go into the back convinced that the J, J, &B know about the real crime ring that is operating out of the restaurant.
My name is Jocelyne. Says so on the door. Says something else on my birth certificate. Just one more thing they don’t know about me.
In my top drawer is a bottle and a pen. Mightier than the sword and all that. The bottle is empty. Stuff’s expensive. My money only pays for quality. Ramen for example. Job keeps me busy. Busy counting flies in the window, or reading. Ankylosaurus lived at the same time as T. rex, and was a walking tank with a club on it’s tail. I can related.
The door made a noise that made me thing of a boat in distress and Trouble entered the door. She had legs all the way down and head all the way up in the clouds. Pretty smile almost but not entirely hiding the worry beneth. Redhad. Rad haircut. Things must be bad – they don’t come to me if things aren’t.
Told me her story. She would still be telling it if I hadn’t cut her off – girl loves her voice. Simple job. Retreive some “personal papers”. In and out, no problems (“that’s what she said”). Yeah, I love me a good story so let’s pretend that for a moment. Of course I took her case.
Needed some muscles though, and I knew the gal. Once decked a man three times her size and it took a pile of cops to keep his fermurs in place.
We met up at the usual joint. I know the people who run it. Shady business but not my business. Not the kind I get paid for. Waitress was going to be problems though. I chalked it down to “future Jocelyne’s problem”.
And a website addy that redirects to DoA…….
Hey!! Wouldn’t it be great if Willis would look over some of the fanfic and other writings that we the readers have done and compile the best of them as JOCELYNE’S work on the “JocelyneJBrown.com” site? I nominate Bagge’s homage to the works of Chandler, Hammett, Hecht, and Spillane to start things off.
I REALLY have to read some Chandler one of these days – I only know noir from parodies.
Heh, interacting with fan material is a VERY sticky subject for most creators, so I think we are on our own…. which does not in any way exclude the prospect of a fanfiction section on Walkypedia!
Heh, Joyce start to understand that she really doesn’t know her older ‘brother’, at all doesn’t she?
“but, but, Joss, you are our parents favorite.”
“and you are their perfect little princess, and just look how far YOU have come”
so the police knows abiut this gunman and hes probably like on trial right now and they know his daughter but theyre not talking to her or reaching out to her or sending her to someone who can help or anything? is this normal in usa? or in whatever state theyre in? im so confused cause here the police would definitely try to help you as soon as they met you and had heard the story from you
yes, the thing about the documents might take time but appearently all they need to do is get into her house, ehich the police would definitely somehow help with
also please dont be angry and go “its just a comic” or whatever cause im asking this because i dont understand, not to critisize? its a genuine question. thank you
Were she a minor, Child Services would definitely have made an appearance. As it is, though, she’s an adult, and thus expected by the system to be able to cope on her own. Oh, and the police wouldn’t be able to help her get into the house without copious amounts of red tape involved, since the house belongs to a different adult (the fact that he’s her father is not enough to help, but that she has personal effects inside might).
Police know about the gunman and he’s in protective holding. They’ve interviewed Becky and got her statements about the kidnapping (based on the comics where they are in the hospital waiting room, those looked to take a good couple of hours from early afternoon to late evening).
But, he’s probably not on trial or even be arraigned yet as that often takes a good amount of time before a docket in the court opens up. If he tries to plead not guilty by reason of God, Becky will be called in again by the State Prosecutors office to see if she’s willing to serve as witness and agree to appear in court, but otherwise, they have her statement and if he pleads guilty, the cops will not need her for anything, though they might inform her by phone call that he’s been locked away as a courtesy.
For resources, I imagine she didn’t mention actively being homeless or having no access to the house (hell, even Carol assumed she had access to the house and is able to live there) to the cops and honestly, it wouldn’t have done her much good as cops tend to be… let’s just say “less than supportive” to homeless youth.
Additionally, she runs into the problem of being a legal adult. Because she’s 18, not 17, she doesn’t have any access to any youth services and so would not be referred to Child Services or offered any governmental or police aid in accessing her house, acquiring documents, getting settled into the foster system or with a remaining living relative to serve as guardian.
She could sue for access to her records and house, but that would take a while (I think Lin, who worked with queer homeless youth, said it takes months and often upwards of a year with a dedicated team of aid workers, so probably much longer than that for a google-illiterate college kid on her own. These resources would also very much be privately offered and she’d run into the other problem of there possibly not being any queer-friendly homeless services near her, as many American-based homeless services tend to passively discriminate against queer youth owing to their religious bents.
And because a lot of homeless services are religious charities that have “moral codes” for those receiving aid, most discriminate pretty heavily against queer youth even if they technically “serve them”. There’s services like the Ali Forney Center that are more explicit about serving queer homeless youth needs, though these tend to be based in major metropolitan areas and so may not exist close to Becky (the nearest one may be all the way out in Chicago, which would definitely be a long trip).
Additionally, police here are very antagonistic against homeless populations in general and especially against queer homeless populations. Many areas have versions of loitering laws that are selectively enforced against homeless populations in order to push homeless people out of sight of tourists or rich people or easy access to public services like public transportation. And thanks to frequent negative attitudes towards queerness in society, many police will actually mis-serve queer victims, blaming them for their own victimization, encouraging them to get “cured”, or otherwise antagonizing them with slurs.
And this is reflected in general culture treatment of homeless folks, as there’s little resources in general for our most needy and a lot of resentment for homeless people for even existing and thus demonstrating the central flaws of our capitalist system. This sometimes expresses itself in folks going to homeless camps and beating up on folks or setting them on fire or the like.
And this can vary by jurisdiction. While the Bloomington Police were sympathetic to her, they do not have jurisdiction over La Porte and the La Porte PD are very likely to be antagonistic towards her as they know the gunman as a good Christian boy and the daughter as “that (slur for lesbian) that got her daddy locked up”. So reminding them of the story is more likely to invite abuse rather than sympathy.
Our country’s got some problems, but thankfully it’s getting better a little at a time, though not nearly fast enough for most of our in-need population. And it means Becky in her universe is in a similar awful boat.
Yeah… unfortunately. What’s your general region by the by, cause I know one of the things that shocked me when I was in Denmark was how public services and officials seemed to go out of their way to help people and the cops didn’t seem (at the time, I don’t know if it’s gotten worse thanks to islamophobia and the folkeparti) quite as hostile to their citizens as back in the States.
It hasn’t gotten worse in Denmark for citizens. It’s always been shit if you’re a legal immigrant of most arabic stripes (And has been for probably more than a decade). The people it’s getting worse for are mostly refugees who aren’t citizens yet. Which is a fucking terrible kettle of fish, but it’s a nominally different one.
To be fair, master crooks on television always discuss their plans in clear, completely undisguised language in public places like restaurants, and nothing bad ever comes of that. Way to set a good example, Hollywood.
Thinking (which is dangerous, I know), how common is it for parents to give their children keys to the house?
I can understand why Toedad didn’t give house keys to Becky [as in, he’s a gun-toting, overbearing jerk]. But, I’m pretty sure I had them to my house when I went to college.
Apart from when the circumstances are such that nobody locks the door unless leaving for several days*, I should think it somewhat odd (if not entirely unheard of) for a kid to -not- get keys when leaving for college.
Or when there’s no reason to expect the kid to come home without a ride from a parent. Honestly, I don’t recall if I had keys my first year of college. I know I did earlier, but I wouldn’t have needed them at school.
its normal to me since i dont live at home right now, but it would also be normal to me if i did because getting more keys costs money and we always hide a key somewhere cause thats what we’ve done forever (5 child family from the start, easier to have one key everyone had access to than to give everyone a key). but its obviously not the same in beckys situation since she was homeschooled by a secretly crazy, very religious person
I don’t have one, but my brother does, and my husband one to his parents’, and both of them have since whatever age they started getting home from school/places alone ever.
I always used a hidden key if the doors were locked (actually well hidden, not a rock or flower pot by the door) when I lived there, and have borrowed or relied on people being home since. Although, unlike with my in laws, they live too far away for us to check in on the house when they’re away or anything.
My dad thinks I have a key, though, he mentioned it at christmas (‘let yourself in’ or something), and meant to give me one when he found out otherwise.
Depends on different factors. If a kid is a latchkey growing up (both parents working, no one free to pick up, so kid walking themselves home), then they definitely grew up having a key. Otherwise, I think most kids get house keys around the time they get their driver’s license or learner’s permit or if they are assumed to be trustworthy and independent enough to be trusted going off on their own.
But it’s not universal. Kids who were expected to be given a ride home most every time might not be given a key, places that have a common back way in the house that’s left unlocked might not be given a key, homeschooled kids or kids always picked up and dropped off from school rather than taking the bus might not be given a key, places with SAHP who are likely to be home when a kid is getting off might not give keys to the kids, and controlling abusive parents love not giving keys sometimes as a method of control (or give keys, but have draconian punishments if the kid ever loses them or enters the house at an unapproved time).
I think it skews majority of folks having keys, but I wouldn’t be surprised if say 20% of the kids in comic didn’t have keys to their home.
In the absence of any official tags, I hereby dub this waitress “Poorly-Timed Patty”. I predict that she will show up in a variety of places, roles, and disguises, but always in a poorly-timed arrival when the main characters of an arch irrationally thought they were alone or unobserved, and always with an innocent and expected purpose.
With this means of identifying Poorly-Timed Patty established for future comics, let me be the first to say….
Agreed, I mean off the top of my head shes assaulted people, shes broken traffic laws yet somehow breaking into your own home to retrieve your personal belongings is a freak out?
Not knowing how these things work in small towns (but guessing based on the way things seem to be panning out in the comic), I am guessing the local cops probably wouldn’t be very kind towards Becky if she gets caught. Sigh. Or Joyce’s mom might have a meltdown on Joyce for hanging around with a “criminal”.
“Thank you for calling the JoyceCo™ technical help line. All of our operators are assisting other customers. Pleas stay on the line, because your call is important to us.”
For those who ask about being allowed to break into your own house: If you are not white, the police will shoot you for trying to get into your own house. And Indiana is exactly the type of place where that is likely to happen. Granted, Becky, Joyce, and Joss don’t have that particular problem. But without ID, Becky has no way of proving she actually lives there or even who she is. Some Mrs. Kravitz type of person (called a “curtain twitcher” in the UK) may see a bunch of strangers messing with the door or windows of the house across the street with all the police tape around it, and call the cops. The cops will find two people who definitely do not live there and a third person with no ID at all. Or worse, they will recognize Becky as Mr. Ross’ dyke runaway criminal daughter (the stories about the incident will have grown in the re-telling). It might all be sorted out eventually, but only after adverse consequences for all three of them.
If they try to take the honest route and ask for the help of the local police, the most likely outcome is that the police will want instructions from higher up as to who they should or should not allow into the house to remove stuff. Once again, the La Porte police will have heard a skewed, hyped-up version of what happened in Bloomington and probably consider Becky a “person of interest” at best, a suspect at worst.
Even if you are white, the police are not your friends.
Oh, and I should have added, Becky’s attitude, impulse control, judgement, and haircut are not going to play well with police. If it were sweet, innocent, Pat Boone-esque Joyce that was locked out of her house while her daddy was in jail, she might be able to melt the heart of a cop with her puppy dog eyes. Plus, she has ID.
I wish people would stop reacting as silly as Joyce. You have rights to your property even if you get kicked out. If you were paying rent, you go to the cops and say “I’ve been locked out without my property without notice” then you can have them serve papers to your former landlord. The dad’s lawyer would probably charge him $$$ to be a proxy via Power of Attorney so the lawyer would happy do it. If a parent wants to remove a child via trespass statutes, cops will come and stand there as the child gets their property and then explain what would happen if trespass happens. These are routine events, no need to ham it up.
Comic is set in the USA, all states have a titanic amount of property law that handle these issues but protection of personal property rights has been found in medieval period Islamic law writings.
I also don’t see a reason to white knight for figurative people. A person without property rights isn’t likely to be on the Internet reading a webcomic about US college life?
Me if I ever see Tony Hawk: Hey you’re Tony Hawk the famous skateboarder. That’s right I recognise you. Won’t be able to get any content out of this will you, you piece of shit
How to read all 28 issues of my Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane run on Marvel Unlimited:
1: The first four issues were published as the miniseries "Mary Jane."
www.marvel.com/comics/serie...
today in #9chickweedlane i learned we have to be shown children learning and relearning what sex is, for Reasons, even though they already clearly know and have prepared nuanced questions about it!
also that Gran must hate, if she's still alive, how Old Juliette is the same but with gray hair
one of my favorite things is when a commenter explodes WHEN DO THESE CHARACTERS GET THERAPY but directed towards a character who canonically has a regular therapist
Hot Toys Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith 1/6 Scale Darth Vader Deluxe ($495) & Standard ($315) is up for preorder at Sideshow - shrsl.com/4wcx6 #ad
If you preorder make sure to hit the Exclusive versions since they include a commemorative plaque and cost the same.
btw if you're one of those rando bluesky weirdos who doesn't know me but sees me in the wild being sarcastic and don't know i'm being sarcastic because you haven't taken like 30 seconds to, like, maybe look at my user profile or something, keep walking, you're not going to score internet points here
Here's an entertaining cite at the bottom of the first page
Josh Gerstein@joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
JUST IN: Milwaukee Judge Hannah Dugan moves to dismiss federal criminal case against her for allegedly helping immigrant hide from ICE. Her lawyers say she's protected by official acts & judicial immunity and 10th Amendment. Doc: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore.
theonion.com/you-can...
It's not a new argument, of course, but Chesterton dismissed it effectively in 1908.
"You will hear everlastingly... this argument that the rich man cannot be bribed. The fact is, of course, that the rich man is bribed; he has been bribed already. That is why he is a rich man."
Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com ⋅ 3d
Hawley dismisses Trump lining his pockets with his memecoin: "Listen, I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for?"
preternia @preternia.com ⋅ 1d
Josh Gerstein @joshgerstein.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com ⋅ 3d
Pavel
@spavel.bsky.social ⋅ 12d
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“Uhh uhh… SO YEAH THIS’LL BE THE BEST LARP EVER HUHamirite”
“you know I’m just trying to EARN tips, not give them to the police?”
((…watch them pull a Gunnerkrigg Chapter 55 after finding the door unlocked tho))
I patiently await the first person who grabs the new joyce face as a gravitar.
i did not meat for that to be a reply.
eh well.
Mmm…. meat.
Which one? Sideways or forward slightly obscured by Becky?
Definitely the first option.
Previous appearances of Zombie Joyce:
I need my femurs to live
It’s actually how Ah lost my virginity.
All Hail Satan
(Thanks to CH and NV)
Awesome compilation. I still love how Sal makes everything cool!
And there’ll be many more to come…
but the second looks like she’s trying to zombie-eat becky. and becky’s kinda into it
Now if someone could just make an animation oscillating from big blue eyed Joyce, through depressed little blue eyes, anger red eyes, to terrified eyes. (Yeah, I know. Too many different angles)
Joyce’s face has had a busy 10 minutes.
that’ll do
Dat face
We need to establish a heiarchy of Joyce reactions. Is Creeper Joyce more or less severe than BSOD Joyce? Where does Red-Pupiled Fury Joyce fit in?
Joycecon 1 versus Joycecon 5?
I don’t actually know how you change your gravatar.
Right next to the post box is a link that says “get a gravatar”. You change it there.
Yeah, she’s not paid nearly enough to care about this sort of thing.
Probably no one will read this, which is just as well…
Back in college, a group of us were sitting in a local restaurant, discussing strategies for the spy mission in an RPG we were currently playing. One of us, who had a particularly carrying voice, was talking about the possibility of just assassinating the popular US VP candidate (who we had good reason to believe was a foreign agent) as a way of preventing them from coming into power. Oh, and did I mention it was a presidential election year in the real world, as well? Yeah, we got a lot of weird looks from the other diners…
what a shocking situation
And now that waitress is part of the gang. She knows too much!
“That random chance is what inevitably drew me into the dark world of the Robin Hood Identity Retrieval Gang…”
“Never get out of the boat…”
“I mean, I was hesitant at first but Becky had a REALLY rad haircut so…”
Appropriate avatars are appropriate.
“I had read the stories but never thought it would actually happen to me . . .”
.
.
What? we aren’t doing Penthouse Forum opening lines?
Tags say she is probably not that important, wish it was that easy in life.
tags have a funny way of retro-changing. just ask jocelyne
Actually, it turns out she is an experienced cat burglar, and can give them lots of great tips!
That would be the most “Casey and Andy” way the story could go.
I think the most “Casey and Andy” way the story could go would involve time travel, dimensional travel, a B&E-O-Mat, and the intrusion being interrupted by Quantum Cop, who would explain to them why trying to quantum tunnel through the wall isn’t actually going to work.
Bob was there, too!
Then they change to a regular tunnel, and Casy and Andy sets the DrillOMatic on “armageddon”, killing them both. They are back two panels later.
Cue a cut to the chess-o-mats attempting an uprising, a beat panel and them realizing they can’t rebel, since they don’t even have arms.
For example, cats have lots of pointy bits, so wear a hockey mask and padding when stealing one.
Heh. When I was little, my two year old brother had the brilliant idea of pulling the cat’s tail for fun.
I remember him running out of the room in tears because “Kitty’s SHARP!“. It became a family meme for years.
Ouch, poor him, but at least he learned a life lesson: never mess with cats.
“Five of his six ends are pointy when he lies like that” – Calvin.
I never understood that as a profession. I mean, what is the point of stealing cats anyway?
ya…ooooor they never find the body.
hey, in for a penny in for a pound, amirite?
And then Sarah will get REEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL smug about it!
+1+1+1
I want this to be true almost entirely because I love her hair and want to see it lots.
It IS bouncy and vibrant!
She IS the Pink Panther!
Offer to tip her 30% if she keeps her mouth shut.
Jocelyne slips the waitress $20, pats her on the cheek. “You didn’t hear nuttin’, sweetheart. “
Quick, who stole John’s wallet? I’ll bet he has enough for a bribe!
More than enough.
The waitress cries and hugs them all.
Jocelyne, from the side of her mouth to the others. “Quick, anyone got any money, we have to bribe her.”
Billie, pops in from the left: “Here, a twenty to shut up. Also, you are all nerds.”
Headcanon!
THE POOR WAITRESS
JOYCE’S FAAAAAAAACE
I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING
That one expression of pure terror I’ve never seen. So magnificient.
Last time I saw face like that involved a crit fail on fear check and a trio of blood letters.
It’s killing me too XD
KILL HER KILL HER NOW!
Sure kill her in broad daylight in a restaurant where there are other people.
KILL THEM TOO!
Then burn the place down and blame Catholics! No one will ever suspect a thing!
Is it Nov 5 in the comic already?
It’s 2021 in real life?
(on that note, I would’ve liked to timeskip past this year’s election…and the ensuing administration)
That does sound like something we’d do.
Minsk: Gorb. Dis iz turnink into vun of dose plans… Hyu know – de kind vere ve keel everybody dot notices dot ve’s killin’ people?
Gorb: It is?
Minsk: Uh huh. And how do dose alvays end?
Gorb: De dirigible iz in flames, evryboddyz dead an’ I’ve lost my hat.
Minsk: Dot’s right. Und any plan vere you lose you hat iz?
Gorb: A bad plan?
Minsk: RIGHT AGAIN!
+1 for excellent use of Jagers!
Becky would make an excellent jager.
Based on her pic in the last page, I would say she already is one. Just needs a nize hat.
Thank you for making this reference so I didn’t have to. n.n
JUST KILL THEM TOO.
KILL EVERYBODY IN THE WHOLE WORLD! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I love you for this reference.
Just a wild stab in the dark ….
Waitress: Quiet you, they do NOT have to kill you now.
Some1: Well I say they DO have to kill me now! I demand that you kill me now!
*BLAM*
Some1: …You’re Deshpicable.
Waitress season!
Duh season!
Waitress season!
Duh season!
.
.
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-k5J4RxQdE Enjoy!
+1
What are you talking about? This is the perfect time…
8D
* “Raised On Robbery” is still playing on the Jukebox*
Tempted to request Fiona Apple, but again suspect serious creepiness if I read the lyrics.
Joni Mitchell?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjbfsKaG86g
Absolutely.
I must confess: I think of this song almost every time Ruth is in a strip. Which is crazy, because the woman in the song makes fun of the Maple Leafs fans, but . . . .
Cute waitress is cute
i know! and look at joss’s adorable barely-noticeable blush increase! come onnnnnn non-mono jocelyne!!
And so Joyce inches ever closer to a sister induced panic attack.
Tomorrow’s strip, we cut to Jocelyn, Joyce, and Becky burying something in the woods.
They are burying a “time capsule”. Yeah, that will do.
Is Becky an atheist now?
No, she was mocking the idea earlier…
Nope, Becky’s still Christian, and God answers lesbian prayers.
It’s that I’m pretty sure that Joyce is so shocked in the last two panels because god is supposed to ‘know.’
Becky’s attitude seem to be more in the line of “Come on, it’s hilarious, God won’t mind.”
It IS her own house with her stuff and seeing what’s going on on earth, God sure has other stuff to deal with.
I assumed she was just horrified that the waitress had heard everything
No, she’s Christian, she just doesn’t believe in the hyper-vigilant judgmental version of God she was raised with. Her idea of God is one that doesn’t get all verklempt about premarital sex or having to break some stupid rules to survive and answers lesbian prayers.
I’m betting she’s hoping “God is watching” this, largely because she could use the help when it all goes wrong.
This, here.
Oh, hey, it’s Claire.
So I`m not the only one who thought it`s Claire.
I wish. Right poofiness but the hair color’s off. And the eye color too.
Oh come on, girls change their hair colour at the drop of a hat, and contacts area thing.
She’s been hit by…
She’s been struck by…
…a SMOOTH CRIMINAL. ::dancing::
doot dootleootle dootdoo
dootleootle dootdoo
dootleootle dootdoo
welp, we know who’s winning next month’s Patreon strip.
What will we name her? i like Clair.
Is… is Joyce even breathing right now
I don’t think her hearth is even beating.
Or her heart is burning?
Short answer: probably not.
Long answer: If we take a vessel like a bus or a spaceship and shrink it to the size of a molecule, and assuming it goes through a massive amount of coincidences that lead it to the lungs, we can defer that not only shouldn’t we send people into other people’s bodies, but Joyce is not breathing at this point.
Sounds like a fantastic voyage.
Yes. Yes you did non-descript waitress. Now they have to kill you. (At least that’s what Joyce is afraid they’ll have to do.)
Jocelyne’s such a temptress and a wacky hijinks machine. I’m looking forward to her continued involvement in the plot!
She’s seems to have an attitude of “if we have to do it, let’s relish it.
That’s actually a pretty good attitude.
“her parents favorite because they know the least about her.” …I start to get the feeling she is not ONLY talking about her gender.
I think you might be right. She’s not really the good little demure “proper Christian” type.
Well crap, she though about crime and now she’s been possessed by a demon. Way to go, Christianity.
Hymmel: “I WARNED you”
“I’m not paid enough to care as long as you’re not planning, like, a violent crime. Though hey, I know a locksmith who doesn’t ask questions, if you’re interested.”
“I mean, you don’t think you are the first people to plan a robbery at Round-the-Clock, do you?”
Round-the-Clock: the nation’s greatest heists were conceived while sitting at our tables.
“We put it on a sign outside, but our cop patrons complained… ironically enough they were planning a heist while they were complaining.”
Is there a bass ass looking black guy with a briefcase sitting with a skinny white guy? If so, leave, leave right now.
I almost want to change gravatars again but…
Came here to congratulate you on your gravatar, read your comment, and now I’m not sure if I feel awkward? Eh, whatevs.
Hey you’re Carrie the dragon? I’m Cas the dragon if you ask my friends! Also, cool gravatar, Joyce faces are awesome. They give me life and pulled me from my brief hiatus.
http://i.imgur.com/b8LUHZY.png
So. Many. Choices!
Love how you sorted out all of yesterdays! Its awesome!
Ah I’ll have to look to see who did this but it was someone else in yesterday’s strip that did it but I’m on a tablet and can’t look. If you ctrl f and type challenge accepted you should fee able to find who did it!
The creator of the Gravatar is Ana Chronistic. I remember because it was my “challenge” she accepted, which was put forward, in turn, as a suggestion to RP – you might have to share, in other words.
well I upped the ante if that interests you
A Dumbing Of Age/Brady Bunch crossover?
I dare somebody to try THIS ONE.
I started by making the waitress cheerful. But “a smile is a frown turned upside down” — so I repurposed Joyce’s zombie expression.
Joyce is experiencing so much emotion lately. >.<
If Dina was here, she’d be having a panic attack from all the Joyce faces.
That face is… Haunting.
Oh no! Quick Jocelyn distract her by kissing her so Becky and Joyce can escape, it’s the only way!
The ONLY way.
Or give her a bigger tip.
L-lewd.
I’m sure Becky is in favor of any sudden lesbian kiss
Does this make Joyce and accessory to the crime before the crime is committed?
If you’re referring to conspiracy as the crime, then maybe.
Not as long as she reports it to the police! Though that depends on local legislation.
Of course, first we must decide if this is a crime at all.
Jocelyn’s explanation appears to have had zero effect on Joyce. Is she just going to ignore the whole fact that there’s nothing wrong with it? Freaked out for no reason. At least I got a good laugh out of it.
Its Joyce, she’s about as lawful good as they come.
Lawful good I agree, but with low Wis.
She’s trying to buy it up as she levels, but at this rate, it won’t hit double digits until 2020.
Except when it comes assaulting people and breaking many traffic laws of course…
Joyce doesn’t react to whether things are right or wrong. She reacts to what people say. Joss called it “robbery” before. Now Becky is saying “who would know?” when Joyce fully believes that God is watching.
And someone linked 3 other examples of the zombie face up thread. The first one is when Ruth has said she will beat Joyce with her own femurs if she doesn’t show up for a meeting. The second is when Mike says “ALL HAIL SATAN” to Joyce’s mom on the phone. And the third one is when Sal says she lost her virginity playing a card game that Joyce thinks is completely innocent.
When someone says something both unexpected and completely at odds with Joyce’s worldview, it freaks her out. Even more so when it’s someone she thought she knew really well.
It is her preferred response to an Outside Context Problem.
Even Joyce’s mother told Becky to go live to her own house… Nobody would think it is illegal for her to enter that house. Joyce really should relax.
If Carol thought Becky going to Ross’s house would get Becky in trouble with the law, she would consider that a feature, not a bug. Get that dirty sinner away from her innocent baby girl before it is too late.
Clearly there is only one thing to do.
They must induct her into the main cast, ensuring that she inevitably has her own drama to worry about and allowing them to once again go unnoticed!
Quick, she needs a name! I vote Vicky, she looks like a Vicky.
Vicky Flashback Time!
She looks more like an Anne or Annette to me.
Ooh my god your Joyce gravatar looks so angry at Vicky.
In my head I’m just hearing the scene from Over The Garden Wall like
Joyce: We don’t have to break in, Becky can do what she wants
Becky: I wanna Steal
Ooh good god I can’t stop laughing at that.
When will Joyce abruptly collapse to make the suffering end.
Her face does appear to be turning into a black hole, so any time now really.
Alt-text: *keels over and dice*
I wish I played D&D so I felt more qualified to make that joke
What’s next, waking up dead?
Jocelyn’s right, as far as I know there is no law against breaking into your own home.
Joyce, chill.
Now I have three options, keep my horrified walky gravitar, make it into Joyce’s face from last strip, or make it her face from this strip…
I can’t decide >_<
Divide the panel up into 3 frames showcasing all of them!
Another commenter did that last strip and I borrowed it, what a lovely person with Photoshop skills.
Dumbing of Triangle: DAY 25
PAYDAY 2 DLC canceled everybody go home
Wolf, It’s been canceled. Look at this:
http://imgur.com/gallery/I3piYoE
Do you REALLY think that ANYONE would want this crap besides you?
Yes.
Look. Wolf, I like you. You’re one of the best technicians the PAYDAY gang has to offer. But you’re consumed by your shitty ideas. Your GF, Amazi-Girl? She doesn’t exist. I’ve been getting Clover to dress up in freaking piss yellow spandex for god knows how long just to keep this shit up. Now, I think I’M going nuts just leading you on.
There’s a reason you didn’t go to Russia with us on that Boiling Point job, because you would get us all killed.
So I’m giving you another chance. Go see a doctor or something. Settle this out, or else I’m kicking you out.
I thought you were exaggerating, then I looked at the descriptive list and found it disturbing. Wrong audience.
I know, right? Freaking out there, even for PAYDAY.
So are you guys the same person?
Expect something in in a few hours.
More Amazi-Joyce by Wolf:
http://imgur.com/a/Z4bbe
Everyone’s reaction to Amazi-Joyce
Mirth level: Expert.
If we’re going to photoshop peoples faces this regularly, someone has to photoshop Dina’s mouth into that of an Atopodentatus.
“Okay Joyce, you’ll be our getaway driver. Becky, you’ll be the hacker.”
“But there’s no computer at home.”
“You can hack the door down with an axe!”
Lol, nice play of words.
“manual override”
Something something lesbians and axes
Well, that’s a complete 180 of symbolic meaning.
Panels 4 and 5: THOSE FACES!
Love it!!!!
D8 indeed.
On a different note, that waitress reminds me of Ms. Frizzle from The Magic School Bus.
huh, sorta!
watch out for when Willis suddenly tags her as “Valerie”
Maybe she’s Ms. Frizzle and will get them in the house by shrinking them.
“See? I told you it’s just a little problem!”
“CAARRLOOOOS!”
Joyce’s expression is priceless
BECKY, KNOCK HER OUT
NO WITNESSES
DO THAT, EXCEPT REPLACE “KNOCK” WITH “EAT”!
MAKE HER COME AT THE RIGHT TIME!
(I am so sorry)
HEY! NOT AROUND THE FOOD!
Nah, if you came at a different time we couldn’t see this Joyce face. We love this Joyce face.
He’s not wrong. With her father in prison and her being his only family, she has ever right to get into the house.
Given the presumably high-profile nature of the school shooting, it’s entirely possible the police would have released his keys to her after they examined the house. But that’s not as much fun.
Why would they have had to examine the house? The crime didn’t take place anywhere near it. Becky was likely able to pick up Ross’ personal effects once they were finished processing, but with everything that happened all at once I doubt she even realizes/remembers that.
As for the legality: I agree, unless there’s something else going on that I don’t know about. Her father took her from school, that’s her legal residence, and now that he’s in jail for kidnapping, public shooting, and possibly attempted murder of Amazi-Girl, it’s not like there’s anyone to claim ownership of the house over her. She could literally have it bulldozed if she wanted.
Because he was an active shooter on a campus. Usually they’ll examine the shooters residence looking for evidence they were making bombs or considering other threats or in communication with other shooters.
Except Ross wasn’t a school shooter trying to kill a bunch of random bystanders for unknown reasons; he was an armed kidnapper, and the kidnapping he attempted was foiled when his car flipped on the side of the highway and he got beaten unconscious. I mean, the moment they first learned anything about his identity was likely around the time Becky called 911, and even if they talked to Dorothy or Dina (the only people remaining on campus who had any idea of the shooter’s or victim’s identity) it’s not like they had any clue where “Ross MacIntyre” lived until then (did they even KNOW his first name yet?).
WELL before the time they could have taken Ross’ keys, driven all the way to La Porte with either a warrant or Becky’s permission, searched the house, and returned… they would have already had all the information they needed to know about what he was doing and why. He wasn’t even carrying a super illegal weapon or anything either, it looked like a standard hunting rifle. Searching his house just seems completely superfluous at that point.
It really doesn’t matter why he did it. Anyone who shoots up a college campus is going to get a house search. I think many violent felons will have a search warrant for the house even if they did their criminal activity far from home. I think it might be reasonable to assume the cops would look for other illegal activity to go along with it.
It’s also been a few days since the shooting. The search warrant, if it exists, would have already been executed. I doubt his stuff would go to her. It’s probably evidence.
A violent, unstable criminal is going to get their house searched because if you’re nuts enough to threaten to kill your own daughter because she’s a lesbian, who knows what other crazy shit you might have been doing.
Sure, most of the time it turns out there’s nothing else, but better safe than sorry. For all the police knows, Ross might have committed other violent crimes towards lesbian women (and LGBTQ people in general), and this was just the first time he got caught.
This. Also, the Bloomington cops would want to investigate further to make sure he didn’t have accomplices and so Becky and the students of Indiana U weren’t in further danger.
That all being said, it’s possible that the house wouldn’t have been searched because La Porte Police Department might not see it as the same priority as Bloomington PD.
And that’s actually why she’s also unlikely to have much immediate police support if they get caught. In Bloomington, she might have sympathetic cops that remember her from that awful school shooting/kidnapping case like the guy outside Toedad’s hospital room, but in La Porte, she’s just the (slur for lesbian) that got her daddy locked up even though he tried to save her soul. So being recognized as the victim of that case will actually work against her.
It’s been two weeks since the shooting. Is it possible the investigation of the house is done and finished?
Shooting was on Monday. This is the following Saturday.
Ooh imagine if she could sell it and keep the money O:
I think you actually need the person who signed the lease in order for that. That, or some sort of official paperwork for death/incarceration that grants the estate to you instead. Which I expect takes some time to process.
I mean, she’d likely face the same issue trying to hire someone to demolish the house. Officially. But in theory if she could operate a bulldozer she could probably use one herself to do the job and not have any legal trouble.
And then sell the parts? Or maybe deconstruct it and sell the parts. You can get quite a lot of money by doing that. But that’s just my habitual mental extrapolation, I know it won’t ever happen here (and it makes me sad)
Well, she could sell everything IN the house.
No more than you could legally sell everything in your parent’s house while they were at work. Or away for the weekend.
Except the deed is in Ross’s name. The world doesn’t stop just because someone is put in jail: he’s not dead nor even convicted yet, so the property is still legally his responsibility. Becky has little or no legal standing (except as an adult who can claim legal residency) unless Ross grants her power of attorney… and I think we all know how likely that will be. PoA will likely fall to his lawyer or his bank, neither of which have Becky’s interests in mind. Not to say they are necessarily monsters who will ignore her plight, she just isn’t their client; Ross is.
Attempted murder will be really hard to make stick. Amazigirl will be unlikely to testify unless they can suss out her identity (which might be possible, since she is very likely a Person of Interest to the cops). Without her testimony as to her motives, Ross can easily claim self-defense, since SHE was attacking HIM at the time. The rest of it (kidnapping, aggravated menacing, discharge of a firearm, various reckless behaviours) is fairly cut-and-dry, but he can still petition for leniency… and might get it, too, if the jury is polled from the tight-asses that seem to inhabit the non-university portions of the state.
Self-defense is tricky to claim while you’re in the middle of a felony. Attacking someone to stop them from kidnapping is legal and they don’t get to claim self-defense if they shoot you.
The point that an attempted murder conviction will be hard to get without Amazi-Girl’s cooperation is a better one.
One of the Patreon bonus strips is a cop getting a description of AG from “Red Car Lady”.
I think Joyce just became a creepypasta character.
If you need help, Claire has a broadsword!
Sorry, Martin made Xena-Claire give it back.
Marten is the anti-fun.
“I must not have fun.”
“Fun is the Time-Killer.”
“I will let fun pass through me…”
I guess DofA isn’t the only comic where people mess up the E in a name, huh?
To be fair, Martin is a much more common name for a human than Marten.
Aren’t martens a kind of weasel?
Mustelids, anyway. Checking around a bit, they’re actually more closely related to wolverines than true weasels. (But both are pretty close to weasels.)
I wonder which side of the family Joyce gets her face-making powers from.
Uncle Rake.
(-_-)
Hank’s. Carol’s side hasn’t got the eyes for it.
Her side is more of the “narrow squint of disapproval” type
Joyce: “Dee-eight! Dee-eight! Dee-eight! Dee-eight!…”
Roll: 2
System ‘Joyce’ has crashed, please reboot.
Joyce’s expressions just keep getting better
There’s my server!
Really needed this comic tonight; thanks.
All the best Joyce faces this story line.
Dat reaction face.
Careful Jocelyne your sister is threatening to knock you off your best expressions throne.
DAMMIT JOYCE! THIS IS WHY YOU SAVE AFTER VISITING A FRIEND’S TOWN IN ANIMAL CROSSING!
Joyce’s eyes, tho
I love Joyce’s Muench-face.
She could take the year of paperwork, stress, and so on and do it properly… or she could wacky hijinks. Becky is much more a wacky hijinks kinda girl. And Jocelyne is playing to that impulse completely. Plus, I guarantee Becky is feeling anxious to be beginning her new life as soon as physically possible so as not to fall too far behind her friends and her girlfriend.
Hopefully it won’t end completely in badness and tears.
I actually have no idea why Joyce is freaking out…
They’re all going to jail! The waitress will Tell All. There are cops having lunch two booths over! There’s an intrepid reporter taking it all down and she’ll write the story and the paper will use Joyce’s bad ID photo for the picture!
It’s all coming apart, I tell you!
I never really inderstood the emoticon D8 before, but now that Joyce has demonstrated it so perfectly, it makes perfect sense!
I am in such suspense! WILL JOYCE EVER GET HER CHICKEN FINGERS??!?
Drugged chicken fingers, to slow her reactions when the SWAT Team moves in.
Joyce makes the best faces
A fusion cannon sounds like a great thing to have right now, doesn’t it Joyce?
That’s your answer for everything, Megatron.
Oh come on, like you never wanted a fusion cannon.
You’re not wrong.
He may not be right, either.
I’ve broken into my own home. It was the summer between graduating high school and going away to college, my parents were away for the week and I threw a party. The next day I went to a diner for breakfast with my girlfriend and a few others and lost my keys down a sewer drain. I had to break the window to my room to get in.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwww
Now I’m imagining Joyce animated and just kinda flailing around like Beaker from the muppets.
The film noir version of this would have the waitress go into the back convinced that the J, J, &B know about the real crime ring that is operating out of the restaurant.
Lies, chaos, violence, and betrayal ensue.
My name is Jocelyne. Says so on the door. Says something else on my birth certificate. Just one more thing they don’t know about me.
In my top drawer is a bottle and a pen. Mightier than the sword and all that. The bottle is empty. Stuff’s expensive. My money only pays for quality. Ramen for example. Job keeps me busy. Busy counting flies in the window, or reading. Ankylosaurus lived at the same time as T. rex, and was a walking tank with a club on it’s tail. I can related.
The door made a noise that made me thing of a boat in distress and Trouble entered the door. She had legs all the way down and head all the way up in the clouds. Pretty smile almost but not entirely hiding the worry beneth. Redhad. Rad haircut. Things must be bad – they don’t come to me if things aren’t.
Told me her story. She would still be telling it if I hadn’t cut her off – girl loves her voice. Simple job. Retreive some “personal papers”. In and out, no problems (“that’s what she said”). Yeah, I love me a good story so let’s pretend that for a moment. Of course I took her case.
Needed some muscles though, and I knew the gal. Once decked a man three times her size and it took a pile of cops to keep his fermurs in place.
We met up at the usual joint. I know the people who run it. Shady business but not my business. Not the kind I get paid for. Waitress was going to be problems though. I chalked it down to “future Jocelyne’s problem”.
Writer is just another word for liar.
…I may have had WAY too much fun with this.
8-)}
I don’t think you had enough fun. This is bloody brilliant!!!
I love you dearly.
You are a perfect cinnamon roll.
that… that might be the nicest thing anyone ever said to me. Thank you!
So. Good. !!
*slow clap* That was just beautiful!
This is absolutely phenomenal. Props to you.
Excellence.
HEADCANON HEADCANON HEADCANON!
Jocelyne just pretends to be a writer, but in reality, she’s a PI!
*bows* I am to please, your majesty!
We ONLY have Jocelyne’s word that she is a writer, don’t we?
And a website addy that redirects to DoA…….
Hey!! Wouldn’t it be great if Willis would look over some of the fanfic and other writings that we the readers have done and compile the best of them as JOCELYNE’S work on the “JocelyneJBrown.com” site? I nominate Bagge’s homage to the works of Chandler, Hammett, Hecht, and Spillane to start things off.
I REALLY have to read some Chandler one of these days – I only know noir from parodies.
Heh, interacting with fan material is a VERY sticky subject for most creators, so I think we are on our own…. which does not in any way exclude the prospect of a fanfiction section on Walkypedia!
Sir, had I an Internet to bestow, it would be yours.
Well, I do, and here it is.
Awwww, you shouldn’t have
that was great.
This is great.
Joyce has become a creeper! Run! Run before she explodes!
I was looking for this comment.
Pretty much.
Three weeks later Joyce was in Tunisia killing a man.
Just like the old Gypsy woman said!
What does any of that have to do with an eight sided die?
Jocelyne: Well, looks like we have a body to hide, too.
Great job guys. Way to transmogrify Joyce into a Pacman ghost.
Heh, Joyce start to understand that she really doesn’t know her older ‘brother’, at all doesn’t she?
“but, but, Joss, you are our parents favorite.”
“and you are their perfect little princess, and just look how far YOU have come”
“C’mon Joyce, according to our parents, we’re all in the rocket sled to Hell, so we might as well have some wacky hijinks on the way there.”
Becky: “You had me on wacky hijinks!”
Joyce: “Be honest, Joss had you on ‘Rocket sled'”
“It’s a sled, that’s a rocket!!!”
You’re freaking me out with that spooky face, Joyce.
Only if you’re out of Chicken Fingers.
Also, she’s not a named character, so just ignore her, she can’t possibly have an effect on the storyline.
Joyce is just having a bad day, isn’t she?
So apparently Joyce is Chara now?
THIS WEEK WILL BE A WEEK OF FACES AND WONDERMENT.
Why do I get the strangest feeling that Joyce is about to hiss, then explode?
Just invite her along and hold a break in party in Becky’s old home! it would be the best revenge party ever!
so the police knows abiut this gunman and hes probably like on trial right now and they know his daughter but theyre not talking to her or reaching out to her or sending her to someone who can help or anything? is this normal in usa? or in whatever state theyre in? im so confused cause here the police would definitely try to help you as soon as they met you and had heard the story from you
yes, the thing about the documents might take time but appearently all they need to do is get into her house, ehich the police would definitely somehow help with
also please dont be angry and go “its just a comic” or whatever cause im asking this because i dont understand, not to critisize? its a genuine question. thank you
Were she a minor, Child Services would definitely have made an appearance. As it is, though, she’s an adult, and thus expected by the system to be able to cope on her own. Oh, and the police wouldn’t be able to help her get into the house without copious amounts of red tape involved, since the house belongs to a different adult (the fact that he’s her father is not enough to help, but that she has personal effects inside might).
Police know about the gunman and he’s in protective holding. They’ve interviewed Becky and got her statements about the kidnapping (based on the comics where they are in the hospital waiting room, those looked to take a good couple of hours from early afternoon to late evening).
But, he’s probably not on trial or even be arraigned yet as that often takes a good amount of time before a docket in the court opens up. If he tries to plead not guilty by reason of God, Becky will be called in again by the State Prosecutors office to see if she’s willing to serve as witness and agree to appear in court, but otherwise, they have her statement and if he pleads guilty, the cops will not need her for anything, though they might inform her by phone call that he’s been locked away as a courtesy.
For resources, I imagine she didn’t mention actively being homeless or having no access to the house (hell, even Carol assumed she had access to the house and is able to live there) to the cops and honestly, it wouldn’t have done her much good as cops tend to be… let’s just say “less than supportive” to homeless youth.
Additionally, she runs into the problem of being a legal adult. Because she’s 18, not 17, she doesn’t have any access to any youth services and so would not be referred to Child Services or offered any governmental or police aid in accessing her house, acquiring documents, getting settled into the foster system or with a remaining living relative to serve as guardian.
She could sue for access to her records and house, but that would take a while (I think Lin, who worked with queer homeless youth, said it takes months and often upwards of a year with a dedicated team of aid workers, so probably much longer than that for a google-illiterate college kid on her own. These resources would also very much be privately offered and she’d run into the other problem of there possibly not being any queer-friendly homeless services near her, as many American-based homeless services tend to passively discriminate against queer youth owing to their religious bents.
This is sadly very normal in the states. 40% of all homeless youth are LGBT:
https://truecolorsfund.org/our-issue/
And because a lot of homeless services are religious charities that have “moral codes” for those receiving aid, most discriminate pretty heavily against queer youth even if they technically “serve them”. There’s services like the Ali Forney Center that are more explicit about serving queer homeless youth needs, though these tend to be based in major metropolitan areas and so may not exist close to Becky (the nearest one may be all the way out in Chicago, which would definitely be a long trip).
Additionally, police here are very antagonistic against homeless populations in general and especially against queer homeless populations. Many areas have versions of loitering laws that are selectively enforced against homeless populations in order to push homeless people out of sight of tourists or rich people or easy access to public services like public transportation. And thanks to frequent negative attitudes towards queerness in society, many police will actually mis-serve queer victims, blaming them for their own victimization, encouraging them to get “cured”, or otherwise antagonizing them with slurs.
And this is reflected in general culture treatment of homeless folks, as there’s little resources in general for our most needy and a lot of resentment for homeless people for even existing and thus demonstrating the central flaws of our capitalist system. This sometimes expresses itself in folks going to homeless camps and beating up on folks or setting them on fire or the like.
And this can vary by jurisdiction. While the Bloomington Police were sympathetic to her, they do not have jurisdiction over La Porte and the La Porte PD are very likely to be antagonistic towards her as they know the gunman as a good Christian boy and the daughter as “that (slur for lesbian) that got her daddy locked up”. So reminding them of the story is more likely to invite abuse rather than sympathy.
Our country’s got some problems, but thankfully it’s getting better a little at a time, though not nearly fast enough for most of our in-need population. And it means Becky in her universe is in a similar awful boat.
god, thats awful.
Yeah… unfortunately. What’s your general region by the by, cause I know one of the things that shocked me when I was in Denmark was how public services and officials seemed to go out of their way to help people and the cops didn’t seem (at the time, I don’t know if it’s gotten worse thanks to islamophobia and the folkeparti) quite as hostile to their citizens as back in the States.
It hasn’t gotten worse in Denmark for citizens. It’s always been shit if you’re a legal immigrant of most arabic stripes (And has been for probably more than a decade). The people it’s getting worse for are mostly refugees who aren’t citizens yet. Which is a fucking terrible kettle of fish, but it’s a nominally different one.
That’s both refreshing and terrible simultaneously.
*Me, making the Joyce-face from panel four*
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/sweetlesbianfacts/
Yup, all of that and the stuff from the following comic.
Haha, no way he’s on trial yet. Our judicial system is rarely that expedient.
Yea, that only happens in soap operas.
They should kidnap this waitress next comic strip.
Joyce makes the best faces ever.
Another epic face after the previous comic!
Can we get a montage of Joyce faces?
I second that motion.
Oh that’s unfortunate. Only once thing to do now. Joyce, where do you keep the hacksaw?
Not the femurs!
Oh no, they broke Joyce.
I did not expect her to have a face past yesterdays D8 face.
None of them were gasping. Where is the gasping.
It’s called Dumbing of age for a reason.
To be fair, master crooks on television always discuss their plans in clear, completely undisguised language in public places like restaurants, and nothing bad ever comes of that. Way to set a good example, Hollywood.
Beyond that, entering a sealed house is still an infraction, whether or not it is actually yours. It’s a very bad idea.
It’s actually legally sealed for the investigation on her father, right? Or it’s just her not having the keys.
All we know is “locked”, which sounds to me like she doesn’t have the keys, not crime scene seal.
WITNESSES!
Quick! Someone knock her over the head and put her in the trunk!
I love that your Grav is also Dina
Joyce’s face in the last two panels belongs on lots of things. T-shirts, book covers, mousepads, buttons…
Joyce is just like
Thinking (which is dangerous, I know), how common is it for parents to give their children keys to the house?
I can understand why Toedad didn’t give house keys to Becky [as in, he’s a gun-toting, overbearing jerk]. But, I’m pretty sure I had them to my house when I went to college.
Does not having keys seem odd or normal?
Apart from when the circumstances are such that nobody locks the door unless leaving for several days*, I should think it somewhat odd (if not entirely unheard of) for a kid to -not- get keys when leaving for college.
*Which were my circumstances growing up.
Or when there’s no reason to expect the kid to come home without a ride from a parent. Honestly, I don’t recall if I had keys my first year of college. I know I did earlier, but I wouldn’t have needed them at school.
its normal to me since i dont live at home right now, but it would also be normal to me if i did because getting more keys costs money and we always hide a key somewhere cause thats what we’ve done forever (5 child family from the start, easier to have one key everyone had access to than to give everyone a key). but its obviously not the same in beckys situation since she was homeschooled by a secretly crazy, very religious person
I don’t have one, but my brother does, and my husband one to his parents’, and both of them have since whatever age they started getting home from school/places alone ever.
I always used a hidden key if the doors were locked (actually well hidden, not a rock or flower pot by the door) when I lived there, and have borrowed or relied on people being home since. Although, unlike with my in laws, they live too far away for us to check in on the house when they’re away or anything.
My dad thinks I have a key, though, he mentioned it at christmas (‘let yourself in’ or something), and meant to give me one when he found out otherwise.
Depends on different factors. If a kid is a latchkey growing up (both parents working, no one free to pick up, so kid walking themselves home), then they definitely grew up having a key. Otherwise, I think most kids get house keys around the time they get their driver’s license or learner’s permit or if they are assumed to be trustworthy and independent enough to be trusted going off on their own.
But it’s not universal. Kids who were expected to be given a ride home most every time might not be given a key, places that have a common back way in the house that’s left unlocked might not be given a key, homeschooled kids or kids always picked up and dropped off from school rather than taking the bus might not be given a key, places with SAHP who are likely to be home when a kid is getting off might not give keys to the kids, and controlling abusive parents love not giving keys sometimes as a method of control (or give keys, but have draconian punishments if the kid ever loses them or enters the house at an unapproved time).
I think it skews majority of folks having keys, but I wouldn’t be surprised if say 20% of the kids in comic didn’t have keys to their home.
Dark eyes = Joyce’s soul fleeing her body
I predict Amazi-Girl will show up to beat up Joyce.
In the absence of any official tags, I hereby dub this waitress “Poorly-Timed Patty”. I predict that she will show up in a variety of places, roles, and disguises, but always in a poorly-timed arrival when the main characters of an arch irrationally thought they were alone or unobserved, and always with an innocent and expected purpose.
With this means of identifying Poorly-Timed Patty established for future comics, let me be the first to say….
Goddammit, Patty.
This may be the best face. Ever. Of all time.
At ECCC yesterday, I got Willis to sign his nightmare fuel to Joyce from Walky. XD (Psalty the Singing Psalmbook was the real-life inspiration for Hymmel the Humming Hymnal, seen in previous strips.)
Thats hilarious
I was kind of nervous about it but I said “So would it be funny if…” and he laughed and did it. XD
(In best Michael Jackson voice)
A not-so-smooth criminal….
Waitress: I came at the wrong time?
Becky: Oh no sweetheart….
Queue slipstream
Really not sure where Joyce’s freakout is coming from. Are there actually people out there who think you’re not allowed to break into your own house?
Agreed, I mean off the top of my head shes assaulted people, shes broken traffic laws yet somehow breaking into your own home to retrieve your personal belongings is a freak out?
Her response does seem to be a bit much for what they are talking about
The waitress is just getting there now? Either terrible service or she was sensibly staying away while John was there.
I don’t think walking in on obvious family drama earns you the big tips
Not knowing how these things work in small towns (but guessing based on the way things seem to be panning out in the comic), I am guessing the local cops probably wouldn’t be very kind towards Becky if she gets caught. Sigh. Or Joyce’s mom might have a meltdown on Joyce for hanging around with a “criminal”.
Okay that’s the most funnest face I have seen for her.
But, why couldn’t she just go to the cops who are handing her case and tell them she needs this stuff, and have them escort her in to collect it?
“And then Joyce hissed loudly before exploding and ruining hours of work”.
“Thank you for calling the JoyceCo™ technical help line. All of our operators are assisting other customers. Pleas stay on the line, because your call is important to us.”
For those who ask about being allowed to break into your own house: If you are not white, the police will shoot you for trying to get into your own house. And Indiana is exactly the type of place where that is likely to happen. Granted, Becky, Joyce, and Joss don’t have that particular problem. But without ID, Becky has no way of proving she actually lives there or even who she is. Some Mrs. Kravitz type of person (called a “curtain twitcher” in the UK) may see a bunch of strangers messing with the door or windows of the house across the street with all the police tape around it, and call the cops. The cops will find two people who definitely do not live there and a third person with no ID at all. Or worse, they will recognize Becky as Mr. Ross’ dyke runaway criminal daughter (the stories about the incident will have grown in the re-telling). It might all be sorted out eventually, but only after adverse consequences for all three of them.
If they try to take the honest route and ask for the help of the local police, the most likely outcome is that the police will want instructions from higher up as to who they should or should not allow into the house to remove stuff. Once again, the La Porte police will have heard a skewed, hyped-up version of what happened in Bloomington and probably consider Becky a “person of interest” at best, a suspect at worst.
Even if you are white, the police are not your friends.
Oh, and I should have added, Becky’s attitude, impulse control, judgement, and haircut are not going to play well with police. If it were sweet, innocent, Pat Boone-esque Joyce that was locked out of her house while her daddy was in jail, she might be able to melt the heart of a cop with her puppy dog eyes. Plus, she has ID.
I wish people would stop reacting as silly as Joyce. You have rights to your property even if you get kicked out. If you were paying rent, you go to the cops and say “I’ve been locked out without my property without notice” then you can have them serve papers to your former landlord. The dad’s lawyer would probably charge him $$$ to be a proxy via Power of Attorney so the lawyer would happy do it. If a parent wants to remove a child via trespass statutes, cops will come and stand there as the child gets their property and then explain what would happen if trespass happens. These are routine events, no need to ham it up.
Wow, you must live in one of those places that has some sort of renter’s bill of rights. A lot of people don’t.
Comic is set in the USA, all states have a titanic amount of property law that handle these issues but protection of personal property rights has been found in medieval period Islamic law writings.
I also don’t see a reason to white knight for figurative people. A person without property rights isn’t likely to be on the Internet reading a webcomic about US college life?