Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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now comes the part of our story that gets a little bit sad
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Documents

by David M Willis on May 24, 2016 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - When God Closes The Door
└ Tags: becky, bonnie, jocelyne, joyce, ross

Discussion (379) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    May 24, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    She doesn’t look like a finger at ALL

    …I’m not crying, YOU’RE crying

    Jesus Math

    • rachel
      rachel
      May 24, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

      I’m not pre-crying, we’re pre-crying

      • Wheelpath
        Wheelpath
        May 24, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

        Willis, this isn’t fair, it hurts right in the feelings

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 24, 2016 at 7:10 am | #

          I think this little home visit is going to go all the way into the feelings woods before we exit.

    • WolfLann
      WolfLann
      May 24, 2016 at 1:24 pm | #

      Yes she does look like a Fingermom.
      http://dumbingofage.tumblr.com/post/144864228887/a-bonnie-macintyre-character-model-for-yall

    • Jimmy
      Jimmy
      May 24, 2016 at 4:46 pm | #

      Becky’s Dad is a toe and her Mom is a finger

  2. Stephen R. Bierce
    Stephen R. Bierce
    May 24, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    *plays the theame to The Simpsons on the hacked Muzak*

    • Stephen R. Bierce
      Stephen R. Bierce
      May 24, 2016 at 12:29 am | #

      And then I have to listen to Dan Fogelberg’s “Heart Hotels”…

      • Too Old To Be Cool
        Too Old To Be Cool
        May 24, 2016 at 3:49 am | #

        “And the walls have grown sturdy, and the halls have worn well
        But there is nobody living inside…nobody living inside…”

        • Ntrovert60
          Ntrovert60
          May 24, 2016 at 12:08 pm | #

          And the voices you hear at the top of the stairs

          Are only echoes of unanswered prayers…

    • Tan
      Tan
      May 24, 2016 at 2:52 am | #

      Empty Chairs at Empty Tables would be a little too much, I suppose.

  3. de Combys
    de Combys
    May 24, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    Feels :/

    • AlexHalstead
      AlexHalstead
      May 24, 2016 at 8:09 pm | #

      Aaaah the avatar there, de Combys……

      • de Combys
        de Combys
        May 24, 2016 at 8:21 pm | #

        X3

  4. Mr. Mendo
    Mr. Mendo
    May 24, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    Poignant is a Family Circus kind of way. Joyce would approve!

    • DSL
      DSL
      May 24, 2016 at 5:28 am | #

      Family Circus would not be capable of the depth of feeling shown here. It would be much more maudlin.

  5. licoricepencil
    licoricepencil
    May 24, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    Little Joyce with a little airplane only adds to the sadness here.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 24, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

      I know, right. “Awwww, it’s adorable… and now I’m sad.”

    • Amazi-Stool
      Amazi-Stool
      May 24, 2016 at 2:21 pm | #

      Thanks for pointing it out!

      Without that i would have totally missed the reference!

      • shammers
        shammers
        May 24, 2016 at 7:39 pm | #

        and just when i thought this post couldn’t hit me any harder

  6. Luzahn
    Luzahn
    May 24, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

    I’m a big fan of Jesus Math, personally.

  7. Cattleprod
    Cattleprod
    May 24, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    Boy, I’m sure the secret room wont contain anything profoundly disturbing.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 24, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      Well, if it was a weight room, the keep out rule would make sense, at least for pre-teen Becky.

      • AgentKeen
        AgentKeen
        May 24, 2016 at 11:23 am | #

        I get the feeling that ‘weight room’ is code for ‘end of world prep, including guns and stuff’. But that’s just me.

        • Cody B
          Cody B
          May 24, 2016 at 1:53 pm | #

          Or maybe some things that undermine his entire character, like homo-erotica in the closet or something.

          • justsayingxxx
            justsayingxxx
            May 24, 2016 at 6:36 pm | #

            I feel like that would be such a cheap thing to pull storyline-wise. As much as we might like to pretend that all bigoted morons are secretly harbouring homoerotic urges the unfortunate truth is that most of them are just awful and ignorant people who genuinely believe the hatred they spew.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 24, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

      It contains giant toenail clippers.

      • Koms
        Koms
        May 24, 2016 at 1:19 am | #

        Awesome!

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      May 24, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

      It contains Ross’s most excellent paintings of Jesus. Unfortunately for everyone he was embarrassed by them, for if he hadn’t he could have made lots of money selling them

      • RowenMorland
        RowenMorland
        May 24, 2016 at 2:38 am | #

        Jesus x Jesus slash portraits?

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          May 24, 2016 at 10:06 am | #

          Bishie Jesus x Moe Satan.

          • Falling Star
            Falling Star
            May 24, 2016 at 10:34 am | #

            Tsundere Jesus x Yandere Satan.

    • Rukduk
      Rukduk
      May 24, 2016 at 12:23 am | #

      It’s either filled with hypocrisy, or a shrine to Becky’s dead mom. Maybe a bit of both.

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      May 24, 2016 at 12:27 am | #

      Becky’s mom in a vat.

      • Scott John Harrison
        Scott John Harrison
        May 24, 2016 at 5:16 am | #

        Toedad isn’t nearly as sympathetic as Mr Freeze. (even with the new retcon that it isn’t actually his wife.)

        • Charlie Spencer
          Charlie Spencer
          May 24, 2016 at 9:10 am | #

          Mr. Freeze from the animated series is about as sympathetic as a supervillian can get, at times downright tragic. But I’m one of those who thinks the animated series is the best interpretation of Bats, and that Mark Hamill’s Joker leaves the live actors at the bottom of the Batcave.

          • sjmcc13
            sjmcc13
            May 24, 2016 at 10:29 am | #

            You are not the only one.
            It was a darn near perfect batman cartoon, and the ones since all pale in comparison.

            • kryptoknight
              kryptoknight
              May 24, 2016 at 11:31 am | #

              It’s pretty much the perfect Batman portrayal period, no matter the media. It got so many things so perfectly right that nothing else has really matched it for me.

    • showler
      showler
      May 24, 2016 at 12:29 am | #

      I’m kind of hoping he’s a prepper and Glenn Beck fan and the room contains his secret untraceable gold stash.

      • rachel
        rachel
        May 24, 2016 at 12:56 am | #

        ooooOOOOOoooooh this is the one I want! come on, a little joy?? just a little?? becky gets to live for free for the rest of her life with some apple stocks from 1992 or some such???

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          May 24, 2016 at 3:00 am | #

          1997 was the time to get in on Apple stock. The company was months from bankruptcy after years of mismanagement and too-little-too-late decisionmaking. In ’98 they got an infusion from Microsoft and started getting their shit back together.

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          May 24, 2016 at 10:10 am | #

          “Dan bought me stock in… some kinda… fruit company. It did real good.”

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        May 24, 2016 at 10:25 am | #

        Shortly thereafter, the police show up to investigate a reported break-in.

      • Commodore Jeep-Eep
        Commodore Jeep-Eep
        May 24, 2016 at 4:55 pm | #

        How would you shift the damn stuff, then?

    • Some1
      Some1
      May 24, 2016 at 12:49 am | #

      Have you ever heard the story of bluebeard?

      • Falling Star
        Falling Star
        May 24, 2016 at 10:37 am | #

        Well, I didn’t want to remember, but goddamn, that’s never going away.

    • EvergreenFir
      EvergreenFir
      May 24, 2016 at 1:00 am | #

      I’m betting on dead mom or child p**n… or sex dungeon? Something just fucking awful because damn you Willis.

      • Sparda
        Sparda
        May 24, 2016 at 1:25 am | #

        So you DO still read the strip cx

      • HMRC4EVR
        HMRC4EVR
        May 24, 2016 at 9:24 pm | #

        yea. I had the ‘dead mom’ thought too earlier in the day, just forgot to comment before now.

        If so, I’m betting she tried to leave Ross and take Becky with her. Ross found out and they fought and he (accidently or not) killed her, but since she was trying to ‘go against God’ or some other similar stuff he wasn’t too broken up and made up some story to tell Becky.

        The body is probably wrapped in a sheet and stuck in a closet since Ross wouldn’t think she’d deserve a Christian Burial since she was ‘defying him and thus God’ .

    • Foxhack
      Foxhack
      May 24, 2016 at 1:15 am | #

      There’s going to be guns in there, I think.

      • tim gueguen
        tim gueguen
        May 24, 2016 at 1:54 am | #

        I doubt it. If he had more than one gun he likely would have used something a bit more effective in a kidnapping situation than a single shot rifle.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 24, 2016 at 7:13 am | #

          Well for that one, he was hunting a rat of a daughter. He’d have saved the heavier artillery for at home when he needed to fight off Satan’s secular minions while he was correcting his daughter’s wanton ways.

          • Deanatay
            Deanatay
            May 24, 2016 at 10:15 am | #

            Also, rifles are a classic ‘Merican weapon. If he brought an SMG or an assault rifle, someone might think he’s a terrorist.

            • sjmcc13
              sjmcc13
              May 24, 2016 at 1:01 pm | #

              Only if it was an AK, otherwise he would be a “Heroic Patriot”, like the Bundy clan…

    • Furie
      Furie
      May 24, 2016 at 2:27 am | #

      Bought myself a ticket on that train of thought and waiting patiently at the station. Considering the character, he’s probably got a few gay kids “therapeutically” chained to the wall.

    • Charlie Spencer
      Charlie Spencer
      May 24, 2016 at 9:11 am | #

      Yeah, that’s some blatant foreshadowing there, Willis.

      • sjmcc13
        sjmcc13
        May 24, 2016 at 10:27 am | #

        Having seen tomorrow’s strip on patreon, it might not be blatant enough.

        Seriously, this storyline looks to be going to a very dark place.

    • GLaDOS
      GLaDOS
      May 24, 2016 at 1:40 pm | #

      For there upon the floor was blood, and on the walls were wives;
      For Bluebeard first had married them, then cut their throats with knives.

  8. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    May 24, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    Excellent change of pace.

  9. Cheebs
    Cheebs
    May 24, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    Jesus, between this and Game of Thrones, I’m going to be emotionally vacant by Wednesday.

    • Drakey
      Drakey
      May 24, 2016 at 3:14 am | #

      You consume both at the same time?

      Are you some kind of sadness junkie? Like a person who’s completely addicted to that headache you get after you cry for too long?

      • flareonflare
        flareonflare
        May 24, 2016 at 12:55 pm | #

        whips and chains and scary bdsm devices that are illegal in 40 states dont do it for me anymore, the only pain that does it for me is the pain right in the feels

        BRING IT ON FEELS, IM HYDRATED AND READY TO CRY

  10. inqntrol
    inqntrol
    May 24, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    Oh poor Becky, going down the memory lane will be a sad time for her.

  11. StClair
    StClair
    May 24, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    Alt title: “Ghosts”

    • Thursday Violist
      Thursday Violist
      May 24, 2016 at 1:30 am | #

      In which Becky discovers that her old house is haunted.

  12. Lauralot
    Lauralot
    May 24, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    That’s fine, I didn’t need my heart anyway.

  13. John
    John
    May 24, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    My initial take on panel two was, “Wait, Joyce has an invisibility power in addition to the rage power?”

    (Though on a closer look, I guess that’s actually Becky with her old haircut. Freckles.)

    • ChrisHerself
      ChrisHerself
      May 24, 2016 at 5:20 am | #

      Same-titled song is relevant

      • ChrisHerself
        ChrisHerself
        May 24, 2016 at 5:35 pm | #

        This was properly under StClair’s comment when I posted it. Must have been poltergeists.

  14. altalemur
    altalemur
    May 24, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Becky is following a trail of hologram ghost children to Sad Town.

  15. Marvelman
    Marvelman
    May 24, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Isn’t there an easier way to find your social insurance number?

    • Nemirthel
      Nemirthel
      May 24, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

      If you have money and a birth certificate or driver’s license, yes. Since Becky has no money and no driver’s license, and her birth certificate is somewhere in the house, this is the easiest option left.

    • John
      John
      May 24, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      Step One: Move to Canada.
      Step Two: ???
      Step Three: Get a SIN.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        May 24, 2016 at 1:05 am | #

        Huh. I wonder if that’s where Shadowrun got the acronym.

      • qman
        qman
        May 24, 2016 at 7:52 pm | #

        Good luck trying to cross an international border with no identification.

    • sjmcc13
      sjmcc13
      May 24, 2016 at 12:23 am | #

      Talk to the cops?
      or her grandparents, assuming they have not disowned her due to liking girls, and alive?

      • tim gueguen
        tim gueguen
        May 24, 2016 at 12:25 am | #

        I suspect her grandparents are deceased. Of course it would be ironic if at least one of them is alive, ultraliberal, and not straight, and Becky hasn’t seen them since she was little so they wouldn’t “contaminate” her.

        • Cephalo the Pod
          Cephalo the Pod
          May 24, 2016 at 12:33 am | #

          You’d think that Becky would have brought them by now.

          • Slartibeast Button, BIA
            Slartibeast Button, BIA
            May 24, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

            If she has estranged grandparents, she may not know they are alive, or have any way to contact them if she does. They may not know anything is amiss with her*.

            * More amiss than usual, anyway.

          • tim gueguen
            tim gueguen
            May 24, 2016 at 12:41 am | #

            I wouldn’t be surprised if Ross told her they were dead if he thought they’d be an “ungodly influence” on her.

            • sjmcc13
              sjmcc13
              May 24, 2016 at 10:01 am | #

              Nah, that would be lying (and not to himself like hs is so good at). More likely he would just not have let Becky ever meet them, and made sure she either knew nothing or did not want to.

              Exaggerating the reason is something he might do, as he might accuse them of being evil satanists of something else, and believe what he is saying, but be completely wrong and blowing things out of proportions. He is a holier then thou idiot who sees everything not exactly the way he believes it is supposed to be as the work of the devil.

    • John Brewer
      John Brewer
      May 24, 2016 at 2:17 am | #

      She could always piss off somebody on the internet, wait to get doxed, and then copy down the relevant info.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 24, 2016 at 7:18 am | #

      This is pretty much the easiest method. Every other method involves a lot of bureaucratic shuffling to try and prove she is who she says she is and acquire her needed documents. Assuming Toedad has any form of coherent filing system, this is the best bet to acquire the documents needed directly and avoid potentially a year+ of dealing with various agencies and contacting various non-profits to help.

  16. Danuisrodriguez
    Danuisrodriguez
    May 24, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Memories sting as hard as any embedded chunk of foreign material in the body that stay their welcome indeed.

  17. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    May 24, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    I’ll miss you most of all…laundry basket.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 24, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

      Such fond hide-and-seek memories there.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 24, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

      Will I never again smell the smell of your detergeeeeent *musical*

      • Some1
        Some1
        May 24, 2016 at 1:19 am | #

        Dumbing of Age: The Musical

        The Ballad of Dorothy and Danny

        Dorothy: Danny, I’m going down a path you cannot follow. You have other worlds, other places to explore! But do not fear for me, for as you can plainly see, I’ll be okay. We have a separate path, and I’ll try not to be crass, when I tell you I must leave.

        Danny: But why must you go.

        Dorothy: I’ll try to be fair, so do not despair, but we really must go our separate ways!

        Danny: I’ll see you someday, when it’s hopefully more gay! On this cold night, while the stars are out and bright, I can only see my world crashing down!

        Dorothy: You’ll be okay…hopefully anyway! Now come sing with me one last time!

        Both: While the worlds cold and bright on this September night, we must go our separate ways! But do not despair for there is someone out there, who can make the world warm again for you! Do not despair for someone will be there, ready to see the world as you do!

        (Curtains close)

        • Slartibeast Button, BIA
          Slartibeast Button, BIA
          May 24, 2016 at 2:21 pm | #

          Some day, love will find you…

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          May 24, 2016 at 3:43 pm | #

          AWESOME!!!
          Dorothy: I tried to be tough but faiiiir
          Danny: I wallow in despaiiiiir
          Joe: I would totally do heeeeer

    • AY
      AY
      May 24, 2016 at 12:55 am | #

      My dumb ass thought it was a trashcan at first

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      May 24, 2016 at 3:04 am | #

      I choose to believe it’s a trash can and Ghost Bonnie has a giant cheeseburger in her lap.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        May 24, 2016 at 10:54 am | #

        so THAT’S how she died.

  18. a. ham
    a. ham
    May 24, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    is it just me or is the alt. text a book of mormon reference

    • Regina Phalange
      Regina Phalange
      May 24, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

      On the way to the promised land, Mormons made people mad…

      • lejwocky
        lejwocky
        May 24, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

        After travelling for so long, the Mormons ran out of fresh water…
        and became sick, with dysentery!

        • a snow mous e
          a snow mous e
          May 24, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

          oh no! Joseph Smeet!
          cup go in the mouth, water go in the stomach, shit come out the butt, shit go in the water, shit go in the cup, shit go in the stomach, blood come out the butt, blood go in the water, blood go in the stomach, shit come out the butt!

          • a snow mous e
            a snow mous e
            May 24, 2016 at 12:36 am | #

            (warning: not exact lyrics, just memory-based approximation)

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          May 24, 2016 at 3:46 pm | #

          Must have taken the Oregon Trail, then, did they?

      • a. ham
        a. ham
        May 24, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

        joseph was shot by an angry mob, and knew hed soon be done!

        • caesaria82
          caesaria82
          May 24, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

          You must lead the people now, my good friend Brigham Young

          • a. ham
            a. ham
            May 24, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

            oh god, why are you letting me die?

            • caesaria82
              caesaria82
              May 24, 2016 at 12:24 am | #

              Without having me show people the PLATES

              • MM
                MM
                May 24, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

                They’ll have no proof I was telling the truth or not

                • caesaria82
                  caesaria82
                  May 24, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

                  They’ll have to believe it just ’cause

                • a snow mous e
                  a snow mous e
                  May 24, 2016 at 12:36 am | #

                  oh… I guess that’s kind of what you were going for

  19. John Madden
    John Madden
    May 24, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Why do I get the feeling that he wasn’t lifting weights in that room?

    • de Combys
      de Combys
      May 24, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

      Probably for the same reason that I do.

      • a snow mous e
        a snow mous e
        May 24, 2016 at 12:38 am | #

        just a general feeling of apprehension? or a distrust of Willis? or a distrust of Toe Dad?

        • Drakey
          Drakey
          May 24, 2016 at 3:18 am | #

          Yes.

    • heyman
      heyman
      May 24, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

      Because “or something”!

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      May 24, 2016 at 12:38 am | #

      Because that’s a stupid thing to keep kids away from?

      But okay, let’s speculate. What WOULD you keep kids away from that sounds like weight-lifting?

      • SgtWadeyWilson
        SgtWadeyWilson
        May 24, 2016 at 1:10 am | #

        His iron full-plate armor?

        “Hrng!” *Kachink* *Haa-ah!’ *Clang* “Errg!” *Kathunk*

        Not very likely.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        May 24, 2016 at 1:11 am | #

        No, it isn’t stupid at all.
        Weights are heavy, and children are curious. No parent wants their kid’s foot to be crushed by a weight.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          May 24, 2016 at 7:26 am | #

          As little kids, sure. Still keeping that prohibition up at 17, before she leaves for college? That’s a little stranger.

          • Cricket
            Cricket
            May 25, 2016 at 12:01 am | #

            I assumed Toedad’s professed logic for keeping them away from weightlifting is that it’s the kind of thing where you have to wear exercise clothes and young fundamentalist homeschooled ladies should not see any dude get sweaty in exercise clothes.

            But I don’t think there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that weightlifting is actually what went on in that room.

      • Darastrix
        Darastrix
        May 24, 2016 at 1:14 am | #

        Not really. Depending on the kind of weight equipment you have, you really DON’T want kids going in there and horsing around. They can get hurt, even if they’re NOT messing around and sticking their fingers into parts of the equipment that can pinch/crush them or trying to climb a metal frame that’s holding a bunch of weights and has some sharp corners. Even if they just tried to use stuff the way they think it’s supposed to be used, it can be dangerous. Manage to pick up a heavy weight, drop it when they can’t hold it up anymore, and oops, hospital visit for a broken foot.

        Sure, there COULD be another reason why he didn’t want them going in there, but it being a weight room is actually a valid one (and aside from the child injury aspect, given Ross’ world view, he probably saw weight lifting as a man’s thing and thought his daughter and her friends had no business going in there anyway, even when they got old enough that they probably wouldn’t get hurt on anything in there)

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 24, 2016 at 7:21 am | #

          Yup.

          I mean, I’d still at least throw a five down on it being a secret sex dungeon, shrine to the mother, or a porn stash just for the hypocrisy angle, but it’d make perfect sense to bar out kids from a weight lifting room and it’d make sexist sense that he would see no reason to ever let Becky use it even when she was a teenager.

          That’s how kids get “confused about their gender identity” after all…

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            May 24, 2016 at 7:27 am | #

            Shrine to the mother doesn’t really make sense since the prohibition seems to go back before she died.

          • hof1991
            hof1991
            May 24, 2016 at 8:16 am | #

            Checkov’s weight room. I trust Willis has something more than documents waiting for us in there.

          • Harvey Janus
            Harvey Janus
            May 24, 2016 at 9:58 am | #

            I’d just pile on the hypocrisy and go lesbian porn.

            That or it’s gay porn and the sounds are self-flagellation.

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              May 24, 2016 at 2:09 pm | #

              The lesbian porn one is very possible. People who fetishize a minority group sometimes have really regressive ideas about that group.

              I’m thinking specifically of folks who are into t****y porn, who then murder trans women for “tricking” them.

              • Marie
                Marie
                May 24, 2016 at 4:28 pm | #

                the y there made me read that as ‘titty’ rather than the t-slur, and I read that sentence a couple different ways before it clicked.

          • quarktime
            quarktime
            May 24, 2016 at 12:44 pm | #

            Yeah, that was my first thought too. Sekrit Sexytimes Dungeon. Maybe even that sinful licky-style type of sexytimes.

      • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
        DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
        May 24, 2016 at 3:09 am | #

        It could have been as simple as it was Ross’s special man-cave room, and it was important that he have it all to himself, for weight-lifting purposes or otherwise.

        Any number of ‘dun-Dun-DUUUUN!!’-grade secrets are also a possibility. It all boils down to whether the high concept at this point is Joyce’s disillusion with the world she grew up in, or Becky coping with losing her original family.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        May 24, 2016 at 3:48 pm | #

        Not that stupid. I got rid of my weights and replaced them with a Bowflex when the kids were little, I didn’t want them hurting themselves.

    • quarktime
      quarktime
      May 24, 2016 at 12:43 pm | #

      It’s probably Toedad’s dungeon, where he and Becky’s Mom got it on with lots of latex and paddles and ball gags and stuff. I got him figured as one of those hypocrites that badmouths other people, but keeps his own fetishes and sins hidden in a spare bedroom the kids aren’t allowed to go in. Because reasons.

    • TheHabbadasher
      TheHabbadasher
      May 24, 2016 at 5:46 pm | #

      Because if that’s all he was doing there wouldn’t be much of a point in introducing a secret room into the comic?

  20. Bagge
    Bagge
    May 24, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Bagge: “La-li-la-li-la. New comic!!!”
    Brain: “Quick, before you read, click this link.”
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/strength-2/
    Bagge: “Heh, I DO like to see Ross getting decked.”
    Brain: “And this one. Quick.”
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/unlimited/
    Bagge: “YOU GO BECKY!!!”
    Brain: “Good. One more.”
    http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/appraisal/
    Bagge: “Awwww, that is adorable.”
    Brain: “OK, now I think we have done what we can. You can read today’s strip.”
    …
    Bagge: “I’M SAD!!!”

    • Abel Undercity
      Abel Undercity
      May 24, 2016 at 5:37 am | #

      That first one is also notable for being a previous display of Joyce’s super-rage strength. Look at Ross fly!

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        May 24, 2016 at 10:46 am | #

        “Wow, Joyce, when’d you get so strong!”
        “What? Um, I don’t actually remember.”
        “Yeah, it was kind of strange. A little before the she went off to colllege Joyce disappeared for a few hours one evening, and came back talking about the Sound of Music for some reason. After that she was a lot stronger than I remember her being. Plus she has this jetpack that can sprout out of her back now.”
        “Oh yeah, I haven’t shown you yet, have I?” (Rockets start up.) “Wheeee!”

  21. Architex
    Architex
    May 24, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Holy right in the gut

  22. LS
    LS
    May 24, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    How much crazy sex stuff are we going to find in Toedad’s room? Just a guess, but I’m gonna go with gay porn.

    Obviously he didn’t lift weights, since she said he lifted weights.

  23. heyman
    heyman
    May 24, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    Wait, where is Bonnie again?

    • Spidergirl
      Spidergirl
      May 24, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

      In the ground.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        May 24, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

        Becky is truly having the best year!

        • heyman
          heyman
          May 24, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

          Oh, right! now I feel bad….

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        May 24, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

        Was that ever stated, in-universe or word-of-god? Ross said that she was gone, but theory is/was that he only acted like she was dead, not actually dead.

        • Spidergirl
          Spidergirl
          May 24, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

          Willis has stated it in a comment. Specifically that she’s worm food.

        • John
          John
          May 24, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

          Bonnie is fertilizer.

          • Orion Fury
            Orion Fury
            May 24, 2016 at 6:58 pm | #

            Word-Of-God then. Alright.

          • Orion Fury
            Orion Fury
            May 24, 2016 at 7:01 pm | #

            Almost forgot, at least she has her priorities in order.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 24, 2016 at 7:28 am | #

          She’s dead:
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/04-walking-with-dina/pokeman/

          And it was only last year too. So, in the last year, she’s lost her mom, possibly to cancer, possibly to something else (I think some people have suggested suicide), figured out she was gay, got thrown out of college, had her dad try to correct her, became homeless, got rejected by her first crush, had her dad hunt her like an animal, got kidnapped, and lost literally everything and is now just picking up the pieces of her broken life and trying to reforge something strong and new.

          And now she’s being haunted by her memories of the past.

          Becky’s having a great year.

          • Marie
            Marie
            May 24, 2016 at 4:30 pm | #

            ((actually her mom passed the entrance exams to go study evolutionary biology))

          • Orion Fury
            Orion Fury
            May 24, 2016 at 7:02 pm | #

            Well, I guess she’s hit bedrock then? Time to start setting the well.

    • Tan
      Tan
      May 24, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

      Pining for the fjords.

      • Makkabee
        Makkabee
        May 24, 2016 at 3:26 am | #

        She’s joined the Choir Invisible. Literally, it seems.

        • KingoHrts
          KingoHrts
          May 24, 2016 at 8:43 am | #

          Or my favorite one from that bit….She’s doing the worm wave in the subterranean stadium.

          • Falling Star
            Falling Star
            May 24, 2016 at 10:52 am | #

            She is an ex-mother.

  24. miados
    miados
    May 24, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    becky was an adorable young lady

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 24, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      She truly was! Still is.

      • miados
        miados
        May 24, 2016 at 12:41 am | #

        oh she certainly is. then again i have a thing for red heads.

  25. Bagge
    Bagge
    May 24, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    #JocelyneNoir

    Are you afraid of ghosts?

    A childs question. Might be a prelude to bravado (“I’M not”), to a put down (“I bet you do, you are such a baby”)” or a good scare (“I once heard of a kid, just like you and me, who got eaten by the ghosts.”). And as adults we smile at their innocence.

    But the questions remains. So do the ghosts. Some people don’t believe in them. Those are people I envy. Some fight them. Those are people I pity. Some acknowledge them but refuse to let them control their lives. Those people I admire.

    My client was one of those people, but ignoring the ghost becomes awfully hard when they are sleeping in your bad, eating your food and laughing with your family. I could see her trying to make light of it, but she was visibly moved as we moved through what had once been her home.

    This place belonged to the ghost now, not the living, and ghosts, much like Ornithischia, don’t like to share.

    The goon started to look through the place, all business now. She had her own ghosts to deal with, but even more importantly she had that one person that WASN’T a ghost. The one she had risked loosing but hadn’t. The one she could still fight for.

    If you have someone like that it make all the difference. I recently got reasons to believe that I might have someone like that as well. IF I managed to keep her, that is. If I dared to fight for her when it was really needed.

    Part of the reason why I took this case, really.

    “What about this door,” asked the goon and woke me up from my monologing. “It’s not on the blueprint” I didn’t like the sound of that. A mystery door was the last thing we needed.

    “Never mind that. Just grab what we came for and let’s go. Whatever’s behind there won’t bother us.”

    Hope springs eternal. Much like ghosts.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 24, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

      Superb.

      • Achallenger
        Achallenger
        May 24, 2016 at 12:23 am | #

        at first i thought this was an exceprt from ‘john dies at the end’ * before realizing it was OC. Also reminds me of ‘the big o’** which lands on this exact vibe like 4 eps in.

        *if you havent read this already, what are you waiting for
        **not the pr0n, the spiritual successor to cowboy bebop according to

        • Slartibeast Button, BIA
          Slartibeast Button, BIA
          May 24, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

          Someone comes back from the dead in episode 5, so maybe there is hope?

          (Now I want to go make a Gravatar from that show. But who?)

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          May 24, 2016 at 6:25 am | #

          Big O was a spiritual successor to Cowboy Bebop?! This is news to me.

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            May 24, 2016 at 3:58 pm | #

            Heh, I haven’t read/seen any of them. All I know of noir comes from parodies. But I really got interested in “John dies at the end”.

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      May 24, 2016 at 12:24 am | #

      Now there’s a vague, yet menacing phrase: Ghosts Spring Eternal. Can that be the title of the #JocylneNoir novel?

      • SgtWadeyWilson
        SgtWadeyWilson
        May 24, 2016 at 12:25 am | #

        *Jocelyne

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        May 24, 2016 at 3:58 pm | #

        At this point I don’t think it can ever be called anything else than “Jocelyne Noir”

        • SgtWadeyWilson
          SgtWadeyWilson
          May 24, 2016 at 6:48 pm | #

          True, but “Ghosts Spring Eternal” just begs to be a tagline or something.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 24, 2016 at 7:35 am | #

      Your Jocelyne noir story is definitely the highlight of this arc!

      Those last two paragraphs are just perfect.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        May 24, 2016 at 4:05 pm | #

        Awww, thanks. Although I think this arc is an highlight all in itself – so much feel, so much Becky. Also Joyce and Jocelyne.

  26. A
    A
    May 24, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    Goodness, who let it get so dusty in here? *surreptitiously wipes eye*

  27. Emily
    Emily
    May 24, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    becky I’m coming into the comic and giving you tons of hugs.

    also you jocelyne. and joyce. but becky right now.

  28. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    May 24, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    “I see dead history”.

  29. Russ
    Russ
    May 24, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    Wellllllp, time to mosey on away from this sad situation. Currently taking bets on what shoe is going to drop inside the weight room. My guess is some sort of Becky’s mother shrine.

    • Mandy
      Mandy
      May 24, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      I’m just really hoping it won’t be her dead body..

      • Achallenger
        Achallenger
        May 24, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

        twist. it’s joyces dead body shrine

        • Russ
          Russ
          May 24, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

          No wonder she’s so strong. She’s a ghooooooooooost

          • Disloyal Subject
            Disloyal Subject
            May 24, 2016 at 2:07 am | #

            But she’s corporeal. Some form of revenant or ghoul?

            • begbert2
              begbert2
              May 24, 2016 at 10:52 am | #

              Haven’t you seen the documentary “Ghost”? Given a little time and practice ghosts can interact with the physical world just fine.

  30. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    May 24, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

    No one really can go home again.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 24, 2016 at 7:37 am | #

      For those who’ve gone through things like Becky, home is just a prison filled with memories that cut and stab.

  31. Mandy
    Mandy
    May 24, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

    My heart goes out to any and all of you who, like Becky, have no family left at a young age, especially due to circumstances like hers. You are all so worthy of love and deserving of a family, and it’s just not fair that people get put in that position. Sending hugs to everyone. 🙁

    • Woof
      Woof
      May 24, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

      Did the doors get you too?

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 24, 2016 at 7:39 am | #

      Aw, thanks.

      I’m just glad that when things went down for me I already had all my documents, so the only things I let go were the stuff of mine they had been borrowing and any pictures of my past, which were just going to hurt anyways. And it means I never ever have to go back to that place.

      • Mandy
        Mandy
        May 24, 2016 at 1:03 pm | #

        *big giant squeezy hugs*

  32. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    May 24, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

    No. Listen. NO. This is not ok. I’ve been crying all day because of a sad thing in a different fandom from last night and now this?? I’m just. I’m gonna sue every creator of entertainment and media over emotional damage….

    I mean, not really, obviously. But boy, I’m NOT having a very uplifting week in my fandoms xD

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      May 24, 2016 at 2:16 am | #

      I hope this helps.

      • inqntrol
        inqntrol
        May 24, 2016 at 2:30 am | #

        I’ve seen that outfit before, but I can’t remember the character who was wearing it.

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          May 24, 2016 at 7:15 am | #

          Probably Ciaphas Cain. He’s among the more iconic Imperial Commissars, whose uniform that is.
          When you think about it, a Corgi would make a surprisingly good political officer. Therapy dog, mascot, and frontline commander all in one! They’d probably be better for morale than Warhammer 40K’s usual Commissars, considering that the latter routinely execute their troops as a reminder to the rest of what will happen if they waste ammunition or refuse to charge the enemy.

  33. Yumi
    Yumi
    May 24, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

    Fuck, eleven minutes into today and I’ve already cried.

  34. Steveraybsmith
    Steveraybsmith
    May 24, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

    I’ll get the alcohol if someone else gets the tissues

  35. Dalrint
    Dalrint
    May 24, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

    I’d like to know what her Mom was like sometime…

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      May 24, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

      Dead Parents are the Best.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 24, 2016 at 7:40 am | #

      Patreon bonus strip request?

  36. wanderso
    wanderso
    May 24, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

    The book on the bed says ‘Jesus Math’, right? I think I had that one.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      May 24, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

      Jesus can make 2+2=Fish!

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 24, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

      “five fishes and two loaves equals…”

    • motorfirebox
      motorfirebox
      May 24, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

      “1 Jesus + 1 Jesus = BLASPHEMY THERE IS ONLY ONE JESUS”

      • Cephalo the Pod
        Cephalo the Pod
        May 24, 2016 at 12:23 am | #

        Not if it’s Boolean Algebra! Then it reads like “Jesus or Jesus”.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        May 24, 2016 at 5:42 am | #

        Only one Jesus? Stop this war on christmachrist immediately!!!
        http://christmachrist.com/images/card6large.jpg

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      May 24, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

      Pi=3=1

    • EvergreenFir
      EvergreenFir
      May 24, 2016 at 1:06 am | #

      Banach–Tarski paradox is Jesus math … five loaves of bread and two fish could feed 5000 men (besides women and children)

    • Gamaran Sepudomyn
      Gamaran Sepudomyn
      May 24, 2016 at 2:10 am | #

      Ah, memories of the 200% of math magicians guy and the carrying the one is an act of god guy.

      • Gamaran Sepudomyn
        Gamaran Sepudomyn
        May 24, 2016 at 2:12 am | #

        Note: I have never experienced fundies first hand. I heard about those bozos using the Internet.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 24, 2016 at 7:45 am | #

      It reminds me of when my friends in high school showed me some of their “Christian” textbooks. Math problems based on the arc, featureless white void pictures of babies for the Reproductive System, unbelievably antisemitic questions trying to make a case for not lying to nazis if hiding Jews. Good times.

      • StClair
        StClair
        May 24, 2016 at 5:16 pm | #

        When I was bullied in junior high (middle school), my parents spent some time shopping around for alternatives. I spent one (1) day at a Christian school. According to my mother (or at this point, my memory of what she told me), I came out to meet her at the end of the day with a ‘science’ textbook which stated that Darwin was wrong to question the Lord’s creation.

        “Do I have to do this?”
        “No.”

        And that was that.

  37. Zaidyer
    Zaidyer
    May 24, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

    Ow my feelings

  38. K. Ivan Ruppert
    K. Ivan Ruppert
    May 24, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

    Man… just… Fuck Ross McIntyre. Just fuck him right to Hell. He could have a family right now if he weren’t so selfish. Instead he ruined two lives.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 24, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

      Fudge him.

    • Derek
      Derek
      May 24, 2016 at 12:24 am | #

      Two? Becky’s and who else? I thought his wife died of cancer?

      • MM
        MM
        May 24, 2016 at 12:27 am | #

        His?

      • SgtWadeyWilson
        SgtWadeyWilson
        May 24, 2016 at 12:27 am | #

        His own.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        May 24, 2016 at 7:46 am | #

        Yeah, but just imagine the state of her life before that as Toedad’s personal property:
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/aspirations/

        • Wire Segal
          Wire Segal
          May 24, 2016 at 3:37 pm | #

          yay, sadness all around ;-;

  39. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    May 24, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

    Thank god for the warning, alt-text. The rest of this story has been such a barrel of sunshine and rainbows that the mood shift might have given me whiplash!

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 24, 2016 at 7:52 am | #

      Yeah, Willis going out of his way to warn us things are going to get sad is one of those utterly terrifying thoughts. Like… um, if DoA is already at a baseline of feels, what does “exceptionally sad” look like?

  40. Orion Fury
    Orion Fury
    May 24, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

    Fourth Panel: Becky is watching some show, with both of her parents watching her be happy, being happy themselves, if only for a moment. An assumingly rare time for the three of them, being happy as a family.

    Excuse me, I must have something in my eyes.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 24, 2016 at 7:55 am | #

      Those are the memories that sting most when you’ve been disowned and abandoned like Becky. Remembering those happy moments and realizing how false and conditional they were. Knowing fully you can never again go back to that and accepting that some things you love will always be tainted by how much they’re associated with these memories of the past (this last one I’ve been working through of late being able to win back things that had strong family memories like the smell of incense or being able to watch anime).

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        May 24, 2016 at 7:07 pm | #

        Best of luck with the winning back. Not sure if I’ll ever be able to do that with my lost.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 24, 2016 at 10:33 pm | #

          *hugs*

  41. Carl-E
    Carl-E
    May 24, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

    Easily the saddest page I’ve seen in a while.

  42. Pebblerocker
    Pebblerocker
    May 24, 2016 at 12:23 am | #

    Things I learnt from Toedad: decorating all in green is cacky and depressing.

  43. Cephalo the Pod
    Cephalo the Pod
    May 24, 2016 at 12:25 am | #

    Now hypothesizing that Ross McIntyre was once possessed by Infernal Eyebrows.

  44. Teddae
    Teddae
    May 24, 2016 at 12:25 am | #

    feels.exe

  45. John
    John
    May 24, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

    Heh, that little smile on Becky’s face in the first panel. I bet she’s thinking, “Damn, Joyce is hot when she kicks in windows.”

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      May 24, 2016 at 12:45 am | #

      She’s beautiful when she’s angry?

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 24, 2016 at 7:48 am | #

      Yeah, it’s definitely a “every day, you remind me why I still carry a torch for you” moment.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 24, 2016 at 4:13 pm | #

      And just that oh so important reinforcement that Joyce is on her side and willing to stick out her neck for her. Becky knows that already, but it is always nice to see in action.

  46. a snow mous e
    a snow mous e
    May 24, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

    Nice Book of Mormon reference, title text :3

  47. Rukduk
    Rukduk
    May 24, 2016 at 12:29 am | #

    This…this strikes a little close to home for me. I’ve lost a few close family members over the past three years and this is…bringing some memories. I…I might not be in the comments for the next couple of days…

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 24, 2016 at 12:49 am | #

      *sympathy by light touch*

      • Rukduk
        Rukduk
        May 24, 2016 at 2:03 am | #

        Thank you.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 24, 2016 at 9:13 am | #

      *hugs* Take care of yourself. This comic and this comment thread do not matter more than your mental health.

  48. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    May 24, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

    So, what is in Toedad’s closet? Dead bodies? Porn? Male model calenders? Guns? Drugs? Explosives?

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      May 24, 2016 at 12:37 am | #

      Male model porn calendars printed on explosive drugs.

      • a snow mous e
        a snow mous e
        May 24, 2016 at 12:41 am | #

        that blows, in several ways. and, uh, dates

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 24, 2016 at 12:52 am | #

      A single chair.

      A single old TV.

      A single VHS player.

      A single, worn copy of Jurassic Park.

      • tim gueguen
        tim gueguen
        May 24, 2016 at 1:58 am | #

        Nah, his Seinfeld DVD collection, including complete annotations on each episode.

  49. Chengrel
    Chengrel
    May 24, 2016 at 12:32 am | #

    So, what heartbreaking thing is probably hiding in Toedad’s bedroom? Guess now!

    • Lel
      Lel
      May 24, 2016 at 8:38 am | #

      Two words: Sex dungeon.

      • JQuire
        JQuire
        May 24, 2016 at 4:23 pm | #

        ^abso-fucking-lutely.

  50. Sporky
    Sporky
    May 24, 2016 at 12:33 am | #

    Becky and Joyce used to have exactly the same hairstyle.

    • Spidergirl
      Spidergirl
      May 24, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

      Maybe that’s how they first became friends: Bonding through their hairstyles.
      Honestly, I’ve seen kids become friends for weirder reasons.

  51. Rani
    Rani
    May 24, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

    “We weren’t allowed in the other bedroom. I think because Mr. McIntyre lifted weights in there or something-”

    That’s preposterous. Why would Ross be lifting weights in his bedroom? But what else could be causing those grunting sounds and-

    nononononnono

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      May 24, 2016 at 12:38 am | #

      lifting his “neck”

      • Ana Chronistic
        Ana Chronistic
        May 24, 2016 at 11:27 pm | #

        actually my parents had weights in their bedroom–I don’t recall either of them lifting much, but then I had a relatively healthy childhood and wasn’t barred from any room of the house

    • a snow mous e
      a snow mous e
      May 24, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

      fapchamber?????

    • Spidergirl
      Spidergirl
      May 24, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

      Is it awful that I truly wouldn’t be even a little surprised?

      • kkiten
        kkiten
        May 24, 2016 at 1:03 am | #

        I sincerely hope they find something unbelievably scandalous.

        • Drakey
          Drakey
          May 24, 2016 at 3:37 am | #

          The walls are papered–literally papered–with Hang-In-There-Cat posters. A pair of sawhorses supports a half-finished wooden carving of the cat hanging from his branch, almost disturbing in its detail. Its left front paw, so finished and perfect that it seems almost alive, is the only part truly complete. Wood shaving litter the floor to a depth of several inches throughout the room, and a single bare bulb casts eerie shadows over the scene.

          A half-dozen similar carvings are scattered around the floor, broken and discarded, each apparently perfect, save that someone has chiseled “StOP hoPINg so GOSh daRn MUCh” in fine letters across their foreheads.

          A tape player whispers “Hang in there, baby” over and over in sensuous tones, but the recording, which loops over and over, is distorted and warped, the tape stretched by time and age.

          Jocelyn quietly concludes that there’s nothing useful in this room and backs away.

          Becky yells “HE KEPT ALL MY SCULPTURES!”

          • ChrisHerself
            ChrisHerself
            May 24, 2016 at 5:26 pm | #

            HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA–ohhh.

  52. m-m
    m-m
    May 24, 2016 at 12:37 am | #

    Damn. right in the feels.

  53. nobodybasically
    nobodybasically
    May 24, 2016 at 12:39 am | #

    They say the old MacIntyre house is still haunted by the ghost of that laundry basket to this very day.

  54. Rosicrucian
    Rosicrucian
    May 24, 2016 at 12:39 am | #

    Once upon a time, they say, ToeDad wasn’t a toe at all…

  55. Julia
    Julia
    May 24, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

    Beckyyyyyyyyy

  56. Saaaam
    Saaaam
    May 24, 2016 at 12:41 am | #

    Is that a Hamburger pillow

    • pyrpyr
      pyrpyr
      May 24, 2016 at 12:57 am | #

      On her ghost-mom’s lap? I think it’s the laundry she’s folding?

  57. Jesse
    Jesse
    May 24, 2016 at 12:41 am | #

    Becky can see flashback ghosts! First she’s a lesbian, and now she’s on the plasmids! Next thing you know, she’ll be leading an army of homicidal splicers to steal nuclear weapons and conquer the world!

  58. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    May 24, 2016 at 12:50 am | #

    not gonna lie, that got me right in the feels.

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      May 24, 2016 at 8:03 pm | #

      Me too.  My mom passed away last fall and it fell onto my sister and I to empty her house, which our family had lived in since 1958, and sell it.  Once it was emptied and down to nothing but bare walls I took one last walk-through, and it took everything I had to keep from just sitting in the middle of the floor and quietly crying as I remembered everything that had transpired over the past.

      I thought I was getting over it, and then Willis shows me this.

  59. pyrpyr
    pyrpyr
    May 24, 2016 at 12:54 am | #

    NONONO BECKY
    DON’T PAUSE THE WISECRACKS YOU’LL JUST LET THE FEELS IN
    D8

    (Really though, all the hugs for Becky)

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 24, 2016 at 1:13 am | #

      ALL the hugs.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        May 24, 2016 at 7:57 am | #

        INFINITE hugs.

        And yeah, this is the mask starting to slip right off her face. This place was always going to be hard for her, but I think we’re seeing now it’s downright crippling.

  60. Rikunda
    Rikunda
    May 24, 2016 at 12:58 am | #

    The locked bedroom… Oh god… Those never have weights or puppies in them.

    • The Smiling Bandit
      The Smiling Bandit
      May 24, 2016 at 1:12 am | #

      Tragically, they may have both.

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      May 24, 2016 at 2:32 am | #

      I can think of a few that do. Even a couple with both.
      Dead puppies aren’t much fun, though.

      …I hope Ross didn’t have a dog. He’s been away a while, and finding a dessicated pup corpse is only slightly less awful than a maggot-ridden puddle of flesh slime.

      • Marie
        Marie
        May 24, 2016 at 4:54 pm | #

        Presumably Becky would have thought of that by now. Also, most likely they would have smelled it by now, even dead small stuff like mice start smelling up a space awfully within a few hours, and death-smell is pretty damn strong.

  61. kkiten
    kkiten
    May 24, 2016 at 1:02 am | #

    I like the new penciled on top ghosts style Willis!

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      May 24, 2016 at 2:00 am | #

      “Ghosting of Age is a webcomic about students at Indiana U, and the voyeuristic ghosts who watch everyone thing they do.”

      • tim gueguen
        tim gueguen
        May 24, 2016 at 2:01 am | #

        Blearg, that should read “everything they do.” This thing needs an edit function!

        • butting
          butting
          May 24, 2016 at 4:20 am | #

          (a) I think you meant “everyone they do”, and (b) I’m thinking crossover potential with Wilde Life.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 24, 2016 at 7:58 am | #

          Nah, we already have Funky Winkerbean for that.

          • John
            John
            May 24, 2016 at 11:42 am | #

            Cancer? Cancercancer.

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              May 24, 2016 at 2:00 pm | #

              Incest!

              … Incest cancer…

  62. Professor Fate
    Professor Fate
    May 24, 2016 at 1:02 am | #

    The past is prologue, becky. Your new future awaits.

  63. Greylurker
    Greylurker
    May 24, 2016 at 1:06 am | #

    I’m still hoping this ends with them discoving a “Dear Toehead, I’m leaving you for another woman.” letter and the whole “You’re mom died” was something he made up to bandage his ego

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      May 24, 2016 at 1:13 am | #

      My brain instantly jumped to Slender when a note behind a locked door was mentioned. Great.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      May 24, 2016 at 2:28 am | #

      My fear? “Dear Diary, the traitorous whore is dead. I buried her by the old lightning-struck oak tree on the northern end of the hunting trail.”

      • Marie
        Marie
        May 24, 2016 at 4:56 pm | #

        I dunno. I doubt Becky would have missed the funeral, and I find it unlikely that even a pastor who knew and liked Ross would just put one on with no body without question.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 24, 2016 at 7:12 pm | #

      Word-Of-God said otherwise. I was right there with you.

  64. NoHeart6265
    NoHeart6265
    May 24, 2016 at 1:09 am | #

    Oh, man. The melancholy of remembering the way things used to be…
    It’s even harder when the memories are so strong that they even feel alive in a way. Hang in there Becky.

  65. Marie
    Marie
    May 24, 2016 at 1:10 am | #

    I feel like it can’t be too much while keeping the comic realistic but I am also worried about what is going to be in that room

    • SunshineTheif
      SunshineTheif
      May 24, 2016 at 2:00 am | #

      All i could think of was it would be like a shrine to her mother…

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        May 24, 2016 at 7:16 am | #

        Wouldn’t that count as idolatry?

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      May 24, 2016 at 2:38 am | #

      My guess is that it’s Ross’s den. They’re going to find a lot of things in there, possibly including a journal containing a Confession that he intended only for God’s eyes about the real events in his marriage. Likely not horrific – that wouldn’t fit in too well with Willis’s general style for DoA but very likely sad and disheartening.

      They won’t be nice things for any of the three ladies to learn. Especially Becky who will be losing even her illusions of a happy childhood home as a result.

      • Adamr
        Adamr
        May 24, 2016 at 7:35 am | #

        I don’t think they are going to find anything horrifying. I think Becky is going to find something genuinely heartwarming and lovely. That is going to be way, way more painful. Sso far, she has succeeded pretty well in writing off her past and moving forward. Ssomething bad will make her confident in her choices. Evidence that her dad was loving abut in pain underneath his flaws….way worse.

        • Marie
          Marie
          May 24, 2016 at 4:10 pm | #

          tbh I feel like they won’t find anything- it’s just a power thing, to keep Becky in her place by respecting the adults’/her parents’ space, and Joyce (being allowed in her parents’ room if needed) assumed it was because Ross lifted weights (or something) and wanted privacy or space.

          But on like, tone and assumptions because he’s horrible and stuff, it also feels like they’re going to find something either shocking (eg porn/gay porn, a dungeon, evidence of his lover, etc) or scary (weapons, /the bodies/, journal about murdering Becky, I guess also a dungeon because I doubt Becky and Joyce would even know it’s a sex thing)

          • Marie
            Marie
            May 24, 2016 at 4:10 pm | #

            Actually, add ‘evidence of his other family’ as a possible extension of lover.

          • Commodore Jeep-Eep
            Commodore Jeep-Eep
            May 24, 2016 at 6:24 pm | #

            You forgot “recepts from the degaying camp she was slated for.”

            • Marie
              Marie
              May 24, 2016 at 6:54 pm | #

              I agree but I don’t think that would be a surprise, although I suppose Becky might be double horrified if there are some flyers she can read about them (or if she googles the name on said receipt and reads some stories about it)

  66. ^-^
    ^-^
    May 24, 2016 at 1:16 am | #

    aw fuk is i really crying man

  67. Some1
    Some1
    May 24, 2016 at 1:34 am | #

    A typical day in the life of Some1

    Oooh it’s 9 02 time to check dumbing of age

    -No new comic

    Okay…let’s try reloading the page!

    -no new comic

    Well I guess the only thing to do is reload the page again…

    -no new comic

    dammit, wait maybe if I retype the web address?

    -No new comic

    Curses…reloads comic 30 times
    -no new comic
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    WILLIS WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US!!!!!WHAT CRUEL MAN WOULD!!!!?

    Ooooh comics up!

  68. SpoopyFox
    SpoopyFox
    May 24, 2016 at 1:40 am | #

    :((

  69. Tenzhi
    Tenzhi
    May 24, 2016 at 1:55 am | #

    So… when is the sad coming? Next strip?

  70. doubleW
    doubleW
    May 24, 2016 at 1:57 am | #

    Those blue lines weren’t supposed to appear on the scanner and break my heart, right?

  71. Lulu
    Lulu
    May 24, 2016 at 2:17 am | #

    So how you can reconnect with a father who wants to cure or force you from being who you are?

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 24, 2016 at 8:00 am | #

      By setting him on fire?

      • JQuire
        JQuire
        May 24, 2016 at 5:54 pm | #

        with jumper cables!

  72. BenRG
    BenRG
    May 24, 2016 at 2:25 am | #

    This is a very poignant strip. Becky’s childhood was much happier than her present would suggest in many ways. It may have been based on an illusion of a happy family but it was a powerful illusion and a reassuring one. Now she doesn’t even have that left really. She has to question every good moment she had in that house and wonder what, if any of it, was true.

    I’ve got a horrible feeling that the contents of the Forbidden Room will be the final straw for her memories of her past. I’m guessing that it’s Ross’s den – his hobby room where he keeps his guns, his hunting trophies and other things of personal significance to him (possibly including scrap books and journals). I’ve got a feeling that there is also going to be proof of hypocrisy, possibly even confessions of infidelity or worse against Becky’s mother.

    I’m wondering if the door God is going to close in this chapter is the door between Becky and the illusory memories she has of a happy childhood.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 24, 2016 at 8:05 am | #

      Yeah… that hits home. Cause I’ve had a lot of that reassessment for similar reasons. Looking back at memories of what felt happy at the time and realizing how thin the veneer was and how conditional it all was and how none of the expressions of love were really true or meant a damn thing.

      And it’s made me re-evaluate the things I glossed over at the time that I really shouldn’t have, like the time my dad hit me and my mom did nothing and we went on pretending like it never happened.

      Bob damn, memories of home are the worst!

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        May 24, 2016 at 2:01 pm | #

        I’ll take heart-breaking memories of home over PTSD from moving 2 or 3 times a year as a kid.

      • pyrpyr
        pyrpyr
        May 25, 2016 at 2:05 am | #

        “like the time my dad hit me and my mom did nothing and we went on pretending like it never happened”

        You too? *hug*

    • Marie
      Marie
      May 24, 2016 at 4:59 pm | #

      Oh man now I’m worried she’s going to rewalk the rooms after that (that being “I’m wondering if the door God is going to close in this chapter is the door between Becky and the illusory memories she has of a happy childhood”) happens and the ghost memories will return but be like, her sobbing in the bed (I’m not going to speculate on the scary stuff in other rooms).

  73. SDGlyph
    SDGlyph
    May 24, 2016 at 2:54 am | #

    Gng. My feels.
    Fine, just take my heart. I didn’t need it today anyway.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 24, 2016 at 3:03 am | #

      I know, right? “Oh, OK, it’s not like I needed my FEELS for anything else today or anything.”

    • SDGlyph
      SDGlyph
      May 24, 2016 at 3:06 am | #

      Also, you can really feel how overwhelmed Becky is by the way her snark is slipping to bitter rather than upbeat. That’s a nice writing touch, Willis.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        May 24, 2016 at 3:22 am | #

        True. Her mask has slipped very few times, but her general demeanor now is very similar to here
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/canceled/
        and here
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/04-walking-with-dina/goodwill/

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          May 24, 2016 at 8:01 am | #

          Yeah, this place is putting her in some INTENSE emotional distress right now.

  74. lizzie
    lizzie
    May 24, 2016 at 3:16 am | #

    I’m imagining something like Pierce’s “swing” room from Community.
    That could be shocking without being awful

    • Marie
      Marie
      May 24, 2016 at 5:00 pm | #

      secret dogs!

  75. Hiraku
    Hiraku
    May 24, 2016 at 3:36 am | #

    Don’t worry Becky. When you come back with your PhD in science, you can come back here and spruce up the place for you and Dina. And maybe a baby dinosaur if you guys figured out how to clone them without causing another Jurassic Park incident.

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      May 24, 2016 at 4:18 am | #

      Yeah, frog DNA substitution ruins everything. Full DNA records or bust!

  76. DavidMcG
    DavidMcG
    May 24, 2016 at 3:38 am | #

    Becky has a mental breakdown when she discovers her dad’s room is not full of fanciful harlequins.

    • Jake'm
      Jake'm
      May 24, 2016 at 3:54 am | #

      I think we’re getting comics mixed up here.

  77. Willoughby Chase
    Willoughby Chase
    May 24, 2016 at 4:10 am | #

    The real spooky bit comes when you have to strip the house and the carpet is brightest where the beds and chairs once stood.

    Good luck Becky! Disturbing the ghosts is never happy but it will pass.

  78. thumb
    thumb
    May 24, 2016 at 4:16 am | #

    And now we find out that the secret room is something of a shrine to his dead wife, Becky, or both. Because good luck having easily processed emotions.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      May 24, 2016 at 1:52 pm | #

      Nah, the robot workshop where he built Bonnie. And all of the younger models of Becky.

  79. Bicycle Bill
    Bicycle Bill
    May 24, 2016 at 4:32 am | #

    Willis, you have outdone yourself.

  80. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    May 24, 2016 at 4:37 am | #

    Don’t check the browser history.
    do NOT check the browser history.

    • Commodore Jeep-Eep
      Commodore Jeep-Eep
      May 24, 2016 at 6:27 pm | #

      They may want to grab the hard drive and poke through it; may have useful data.

  81. Brewerdude
    Brewerdude
    May 24, 2016 at 4:54 am | #

    Ross seems like the type who bottled up his grief when Becky’s mom died and that is what made him the fundie psycho he showed himself out as. They say you can’t go home again, and this somber trip down memory lane is a sobering reminder of that. Willis, you tell an excellent story and I look forward to seeing where this all goes.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      May 24, 2016 at 9:17 am | #

      Given Becky’s behaviour he’s likely always been a psycho, just taken to a surprising new level.

    • Harvey Janus
      Harvey Janus
      May 24, 2016 at 10:11 am | #

      From what we heard from Hank, he’s always been a psycho. Everything else probably just added on and on until what little mental stability he had shattered.

  82. Skizz
    Skizz
    May 24, 2016 at 4:55 am | #

    Mother related feels on the horizon. First picture of her, mysterious room, only parent not established to be a douchecanoe…

  83. Henry
    Henry
    May 24, 2016 at 5:03 am | #

    This is a truly masterful page, maybe I’m still feeling sad from game of thrones but this connects, despite having no real idea of what becky has gone through.

  84. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    May 24, 2016 at 5:20 am | #

    This is all I can imagine Jesus Math to be:
    “1+1=2. Jesus died for you.”

    • Tioras
      Tioras
      May 24, 2016 at 7:29 am | #

      1+2=3, Died to set you free.

      • trlkly
        trlkly
        May 24, 2016 at 11:47 am | #

        1,2,3 Jesus loves me!
        1,2 Jesus loves you.
        2,3,4 He loves you more
        Than you’ve ever been loved before.

        5, 6, 7, I’m on my way to heaven!
        8, 9, It’s gonna be fine!
        8, 9, 10. It’s time to end.
        But there’s time to sing it again!

        (But I won’t. I just thought a silly childhood memory from my sorta fundie past would be nice.)

      • CianM1301
        CianM1301
        May 24, 2016 at 2:36 pm | #

        1+3=4, Opened Heaven’s Door.

  85. supremz
    supremz
    May 24, 2016 at 6:43 am | #

    BROKE INTO THE OLD APARTMENT

    THIS IS WHERE WE USED TO LIVE

  86. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    May 24, 2016 at 7:12 am | #

    Yaaaay?

  87. Van Jealous
    Van Jealous
    May 24, 2016 at 7:58 am | #

    You’ve been reading old Family Circus panels again, haven’t you Mr. Willis?

  88. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    May 24, 2016 at 8:32 am | #

    Comic Reactions:

    Panel 1: Aw, Becky grinning her head off at Joyce’s strength. She’s still got it bad for her and Joyce keeps on being awesome in really helpful ways that really reinforce that. Though with time and dinosaur smooches, that pride won’t have to be tinged with the sting of rejection anymore.

    Also, I love the continuation of Jocelyne and Becky’s teamwork here. And love Jocelyne keeping everyone on task, which will be so important. Joyce triggering rage mode will make her a lot less prone to panic, but if she hears a siren noise, she’s going to flip out again and Becky… well Becky’s being haunted as we see in the later panels.

    Panel 2: I love this style for her being haunted by the memories of the past. Retains that blue from the flashback scenes, but retains a sketchiness feeling and a lack of filling to make them really evocative as smoke images from the past. Just a lingering on that haunts the home Becky sees.

    And it hammers home how much this house is ripping her apart. Like, I was really really lucky that I never had reason to ever have to step inside the house of my raising after I was disowned, so I can’t even imagine how awful it must be for those who do. Who have to revisit all those awful memories and stinging reminders of a life that will never be again to get one’s documents or treasured possessions or so on.

    And you can see it in how quickly it rips the smile right off Becky’s face. This is her nightmare, her personal hell, and her personality type is such that she is prone to suffer that hell in silence, showing nothing about how it’s eating her up inside.

    Damn computer screen making it impossible to give fictional character a hug.

    Panel 3: Awww, even at a young age, Joyce loved planes and imagining herself whooshing through the air. And with Becky she could get away with it up until a parental figure chastised them for being “unladylike”.

    It makes me really hope that Joyce is able to figure out her dream, go into the ROTC, become a fighter pilot, maybe even rise up in the ranks enough to pilot Air Force One for President Keener. It’d make a nice rejoinder to “Those who’d ground her”.

    Huh, part of me wonders if this is a red herring. Like, we’re primed to expect some layer of hypocrisy or a stash of gay porn or something, so it’ll actually be exactly what she says, her dad’s bedroom and where he stores his weights.

    And I think that might work better. Let Toedad’s awfulness stem entirely from him being exactly what he seems. Because what he seems to be is monstrous in its own right. And let the ban on that room be because that’s where he keeps all the metaphorical leashes around Becky’s freedom. Her documents and so on… Bob damn am I really hoping he’s not so anti-government to not get a birth certificate or a social security card for Becky or to shred the documents because “that’s the mark of the Beast”.

    Panel 4: I love the visual arrangement of this panel so much. Becky so small and off-center in what is actually a big, dark empty room, standing still and staring at ghosts of a happier time. A time when she believed that the promise of family meant something. Before that got poisoned by Toedad’s hate.

    And her stance, shoulders slightly shrugged, body slumped slightly down, she’s breaking under the weight of these memories, curling it up inside her alone. And she’s struggling to remain functional, stay in the conversation, provide advice, but she’s fading fast. You can tell that while everyone is hustling, she’s dragging her feet more and more just getting lost in the rabbit hole of these feelings and the ghosts this place holds for her.

    It all makes her look so tired and defeated. Already her mask has mostly crashed off, so I think it’s only a matter of time before we see crying Becky again, because one can only imagine what other nightmares of her past this place can contain for her, even if it’s just in happy memories of what will never be again.

    And you see that in that little line. “Everyone’s gone”. Not just her dad, not just her mom, but the happy little long-hair girl who believed she was straight and was happy to follow her dad’s and her church’s awful directions. A person who received familial love without having to beg for it, because that love was always dependent and conditional on her sexuality.

    A house she is seeing for the last time forever. No matter what. Everyone’s gone and soon, so too will this merry band of technically thieves. And the only things carried out will hopefully be Becky’s documents (big crossed fingers) and the ghosts of this place. They will live on in her head for far too long.

    • TheNinthShade
      TheNinthShade
      May 24, 2016 at 8:43 am | #

      You missed the jesus math book!

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        May 24, 2016 at 7:17 pm | #

        I don’t think she did.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      May 24, 2016 at 9:06 am | #

      Poor, poor, Becky. It’s so… unfair. All those happy memories should have been allowed to remain happy. She so rarely lose her mask so this really hits hard.

      Everyone is gone, indeed… (NO, not everyone. She still has Joyce.)

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        May 24, 2016 at 9:09 am | #

        Panel 3: Awwww, little Joyce and little Becky are ADORABLE, and I really hope she will fly a plane one day.

        Trailer voice: “The Air Force One has been captured by NINJAS. Will president Keener…”
        Joyce, offscreen: “FUDGE YOU, MOTHEREFFER!!!!” *punching sounds*
        Trailer voice: “…never mind. We’re good.”

    • LordHaw
      LordHaw
      May 24, 2016 at 9:48 am | #

      Another poignant and well thought out analysis Cerberus. My sister and I have been recently piecing together all the crap we went through as kids. Lots of recent visits home have dredged up all sorts of good and bad memories for my sister and she’s been talking to me to get my point of view. God, I was so oblivious, or so I thought. All the time I spent AWAY from home as a kid was, in hindsight, done so I wouldn’t have to deal with my mom’s crap. It’s amazing how taking a look back or having memories dredged up by being in the home you grew up in gives you a lot of food for thought when you didn’t even realize you were repressing so much. And that’s just from my mom’s passive aggressive abuse (and at times not so passive) and religious crap. I can’t even imagine what it would be like for someone in Becky’s shoes (or Cerberus’, or anyone else on here who’s been there and done that).

      Once again, Willis has brought out the feels quite effectively.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      May 24, 2016 at 1:37 pm | #

      I kind of hope Becky manages to hold it together through the weekend and then breaks down in tears when she gets back to Dina.
      Kind of a rough reunion for Dina, but a good way to show how much Becky trusts and relies on her.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 24, 2016 at 7:22 pm | #

      It’s amazing how much detail he can get with minimalist designs (compared to hyped detailed things you see on tumblr/deviantart/etc).

      I think I messed up the compliment.

  89. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    May 24, 2016 at 8:56 am | #

    Jesus Math, huh.

    Someone’s been reading their christian oatmeal ripoff guy:
    http://adam4d.com/jesus-and-math/

    • Lord Stoneheart
      Lord Stoneheart
      May 24, 2016 at 11:14 am | #

      On one hand I’m morbidly curious about what could possibly be in that link.

      On the other hand I’ve made a resolution to not give that guy more page views.

      • trlkly
        trlkly
        May 24, 2016 at 11:57 am | #

        Then permit me to provide a transcript:

        Title: Jesus and math

        Scene: Teacher standing in front of a chalkboard with “2+2=4” written on it, along with some dots illustrating the concept.

        Teacher: YES, BILLY.

        Billy (sitting at his desk): SIR, YOU ARE BEING AWFULLY DOGMATIC…

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        May 24, 2016 at 7:26 pm | #

        ?

  90. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    May 24, 2016 at 9:10 am | #

    Help! I got dragged through the rabbit hole of looking for examples of the kind of stuff Becky likely read in Jesus Math and now I’m trapped in a sample of “Math Concepts from a Biblical Worldview” homeschool textbook:
    http://christianperspective.net/wp-content/uploads/RA-Sample-1.pdf

    And since I want you all to share my pain, here’s some lovely quotes:

    “Men, using the ability God gave them, have developed methods to solve
    multiplication problems.”

    Don’t want any of you youngsters accidentally thinking women know fuck all about maths. I mean, how could they with their tiny lady brains? Ada Lovelace, Emmy Noether… I do not understand these sounds you are making with your face hole.

    “The many different multiplication methods out there remind us that, far from being man-made systems, multiplication methods describe a real-life consistency. Why else would so many different people find methods to arrive at the same answers? Each and every one of these methods ultimately rests on God’s faithfulness in holding all things together!”

    Ah, shit, had to talk about actual math things for a page or two, let’s quickly shoehorn in Jesus by erasing any mathematical method for solving problems that’s been abandoned for being wrong-headed.

    ” is 30,000 light-years from earth does not mean the light took 30,000
    years to get here! It only means the star is an incredible distance away! As we just saw, a light-year is just a useful measurement unit based on the distance we observe light travel in a second here on earth. Light may very well travel differently in the deep recesses of space, or God may have used some other way to get the light here much faster than normal.”

    And my favorite one for last, because this section starts with a “God gives us multiplication to help us figure out the world, so useful because God” bit, but the problem was probably cribbed from a real math textbook somewhere and you can just see the gears grinding to a halt as he presents the answer. Yay this star must be 30,000 light years away, which is a measurement of how long it takes light to reach usssssss….. uhhhh, whoops, we’re supposed to be pretending the entire universe is only a little over 6000 years old. Abort, abort! God cheats at light. Ignore your maths, they’re just lies built on deceit and Satan.

    • LordHaw
      LordHaw
      May 24, 2016 at 10:58 am | #

      Heh! I like that….fudging stuff to fit the Creationist worldview. Now you’ve got me reading that drivel…to my great amusement and consternation that people actually believe and are taught this crap. But I was allowed to read (thankfully, I was allowed a public library card) and quickly discovered what the Bible says and what science says are two different things and so questioned the whole Creationist view of things from the get-go. But I’m a guy so was allowed to do things my sister was not…up to a point.

      • LordHaw
        LordHaw
        May 24, 2016 at 11:02 am | #

        In the Parting Note, the line “Always remember, textbooks do not have to be followed as rigid rules!”…if you treat the Bible as a textbook for life, can you extrapolate this line to it as well? 😉

        • SDGlyph
          SDGlyph
          May 24, 2016 at 12:44 pm | #

          NO! NEVER EXTRAPOLATE! That way lie questions you can’t un-ask and OH GOD WHY

    • trlkly
      trlkly
      May 24, 2016 at 12:05 pm | #

      Relevant happy comic I just saw in my reread:

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/04-walking-with-dina/strata/

    • ChrisHerself
      ChrisHerself
      May 24, 2016 at 5:18 pm | #

      As a recovering homeschooler I can vouch for the utter accuracy of this.

  91. Chris
    Chris
    May 24, 2016 at 9:41 am | #

    The art here is really good.

  92. Arianod
    Arianod
    May 24, 2016 at 10:35 am | #

    :c

  93. Falling Star
    Falling Star
    May 24, 2016 at 10:44 am | #

    Watch, it’s going to be completely normal in that room, with maybe a few pictures of his family to make it sadder.

  94. arias01
    arias01
    May 24, 2016 at 11:04 am | #

    Why does Mrs. McIntyre have such a big cheeseburger on her lap… wait… oh it’s laundry. lol

  95. Shiori Tsumi
    Shiori Tsumi
    May 24, 2016 at 11:44 am | #

    Most likely the other room they couldn’t go in was his wife’s room. I get the feeling that, after a certain point, they weren’t even sleeping in the same room, let alone the same bed. Everything that was Becky’s mom’s is probably in that room. Jewelry, clothes, makeup….probably paperwork, too. It’d be the best place to keep it if he wanted to keep it safe, since he wouldn’t let people go in there anyways.

  96. smooti
    smooti
    May 24, 2016 at 11:44 am | #

    The dark side of letting toxic people, especially toxic relatives, out of your life. You still have the good memories and now they’re tainted by the bad ones in a way that’s… really hard to explain to those who don’t have to go through with that.
    Poor Becky.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      May 24, 2016 at 1:59 pm | #

      Yup.

      Plus brains are butts about those good memories and use them to doubt the excellent idea that was cutting the toxic fucker out. Like it’s all, maybe You were unfair, remember that great time. Sure, it’s painful now, but remember how it used to feel. Look at all these other “happy” moments, ignore the ones with why you stay away. Wouldn’t be better than getting triggered by something you used to love? Maybe you overinterpreted what they were about and if you reach out they won’t be the same toxic assholes…

      And then you remember just how much of a shit they were and it’s back to crying at happy memories and sneering a little bit at “family will always get your back” lines in movies.

  97. Triniking1234
    Triniking1234
    May 24, 2016 at 12:03 pm | #

    Oh what? That box says “Jesus Math”?

    I thought it said “Jesus Mon”.

    • trlkly
      trlkly
      May 24, 2016 at 12:07 pm | #

      Ah, yes, the real secret. Ross was a Rastafarian.

      Alternative secret: Ross knew Pokemon was of the devil, but he couldn’t resist Digimon.

      • Robbzilla
        Robbzilla
        May 24, 2016 at 12:42 pm | #

        We all know that Pokemon is of the Devil though. That’s common knowledge.

        Hail Pikachu!

        ______________$$$$$$$$$
        _____________$$$$$$$$$$$__________________________ _______,,
        _____________$$$$$$$$$$$$_________________________ _____$$$$$,
        _____________`$$$$$$$$$$$_________________________ ___$$$$$$$$
        ______________`$$$$$$$$$Z$______$$$_______$$$_____ __$$$$$$$$`
        _______________`$ZzZ$$$Z$$$___$$$$$$$___$$$$$$$___ _$$$$$$$$`
        ________________`$$$ZZZ$$$$$_$$$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$$$__ $$$$$$$$`
        _________________`$$$$$$$$$$_$$ZZ$$$$$_$$ZZZ$$$$_$ $$$$$$$
        ____$$$$$$$$______`$$$$$$$$$$_$$$ZZZ$$_$$$$$ZZ$$_$ $$$$$$`
        __$$$$$$$$$$Z$_____`$ZZ$$$ZZZ_$$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$$$_$ $$$$$
        _$$$$$$$$$$$Z$$$$__$$$$zzz$$$_$$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$$$_$ $$$$$`
        _$$$$$$$$$$Z$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_$$ZZ$$$$_$ZZZ$$$$$_$ $$$$`
        ___`$$$$$$$Z$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_$$$$$ZZ$_$_$$$$$$$_$ $$$$`
        ________`$Z$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_$$$$$$__$$_$$$$$$_$$ $$`
        __________`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$,““,$$$$,_““,$$$$$$$ `
        ___________`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ `
        _____________`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$$$$$$$`
        _______________`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$$$$$$`
        __________________`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$$$$`
        ___________________`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$`
        _____________________$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

        • Robbzilla
          Robbzilla
          May 24, 2016 at 12:43 pm | #

          SIGH… that was supposed to be devil horns… Fail.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      May 24, 2016 at 1:38 pm | #

      “Jesus Mon” would be the family emblem he used in Japan when he moved there after his brother Isukiri died on the cross in his place.

      No, really.

      • Slartibeast Button, BIA
        Slartibeast Button, BIA
        May 24, 2016 at 1:38 pm | #

        link fail: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shing%C5%8D,_Aomori#Tomb_of_Jesus_Christ

  98. Saxa
    Saxa
    May 24, 2016 at 12:13 pm | #

    Dont know why, but this song came up and it resonates with this strip for me.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJnbZzUEpvs

  99. neon5162
    neon5162
    May 24, 2016 at 12:32 pm | #

    im guessing he killed his wife when she tried to leave him

  100. Robbzilla
    Robbzilla
    May 24, 2016 at 12:37 pm | #

    We’re going to find a human skin lampshade in there, aren’t we? Or an Edgar Suit… (MIB)

  101. Vremdling
    Vremdling
    May 24, 2016 at 1:08 pm | #

    :'(

  102. G
    G
    May 24, 2016 at 1:34 pm | #

    I find this appropriate…
    https://youtu.be/g0zSB2WEtwU

    • can't begin to say
      can't begin to say
      May 24, 2016 at 9:06 pm | #

      This is what I think of as the appropriate sound track for this moment…
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoOUZxWlFlc

  103. Marie
    Marie
    May 24, 2016 at 4:05 pm | #

    Other people probably noted it by now, but I missed a bit yesterday- Joyce is talking coherently and actually to people now. Maybe she needed a rage-kick (or just to be somewhere familiar/safe/out of sight).

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 24, 2016 at 7:30 pm | #

      Either that or it’s an alternate backstory for AmaziGirl.

  104. Bright Spirit
    Bright Spirit
    May 24, 2016 at 4:07 pm | #

    The feels! … also why do I get the feeling that we’re about to encounter something other than weights in that “weight room”. O.o

    Guess a) not a weight room at all, but actually a man cave – for sexytimes
    guess b) it turns out that Becky’s mom’s body is in there, and she was murdered by Becky’s dad – with possible anti-lesbian shrine. o.O

  105. Angie
    Angie
    May 24, 2016 at 5:41 pm | #

    I am incredibly NOT a big fan of a room closed off to members of the house and only one person knowing what it is. I fear the worst.

  106. showler
    showler
    May 24, 2016 at 6:04 pm | #

    Willis actually offered a warning about tonight’s strip on his tumblr.

    That can’t be good.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 24, 2016 at 7:36 pm | #

      Considering what I’ve seen so far,

  107. chris73
    chris73
    May 24, 2016 at 8:40 pm | #

    I find wacky Becky highly annoying and would rather see more focus on other characters that I can relate to better but I also don’t want to see her get hurt because that seems to be the only way to stop her being “wacky”

    I’m guessing the next strip isn’t going to help matters either…

  108. DJTsurugi
    DJTsurugi
    May 24, 2016 at 8:55 pm | #

    quickly someone invent technology that makes it so I can hug Bucky, it’s an emergency! ~<3

  109. HMRC4EVR
    HMRC4EVR
    May 24, 2016 at 9:33 pm | #

    Hopefully Becky will find a huge wad of cash in a box or something.

  110. wafflebob
    wafflebob
    May 24, 2016 at 10:30 pm | #

    Deep down we all knew the sads were coming sooner or later.

  111. White Rice
    White Rice
    May 24, 2016 at 10:55 pm | #

    So, the theory’s about the closed room range from “normal room, with old pictures” (best case scenario?) to “mom in a jar” or “‘troubled’ youths chained to the wall” (how long since toedad left these hypothetical youths chained up?)

    Tonight is going to be quite the reveal either way (if we even get to see that room tonight, maybe next strip just builds up to it a bit more…maybe we won’t even see the room in this trip to the house!)

  112. Max
    Max
    May 24, 2016 at 11:13 pm | #

    Man the more this store evolves the more I identify with Dorothy. Went to college learned the real world real quick, where nothing taught at church matched with real life. Even that anger, man… What a good story line.

  113. Teddae
    Teddae
    May 25, 2016 at 6:16 am | #

    I love you, Willis.
    I wanna say something about the next page (nope I’m not a non-empathetic assfuck don’t worry) but comments are closed there so I guess I’ll say it the next day to avoid spoiling the crowd here

    • DarkVeghetta
      DarkVeghetta
      May 25, 2016 at 6:46 pm | #

      I wanted to comment on the next one as well, but seems Willis locked the comments for some odd reason.

      As for the comment itself: I feel like he handled the situation pretty well. Took the impact out of it for me, so I’m quite ‘meh’ about it, but then again I’m far more desensitized then most other humans to such things (especially since I’ve both considered and talked others out of such things, so it’s a familiar topic that doesn’t shock me) and as such I can commend the use of the warning prior to the actual comic.

      That sed, for me, the real power of this (next) strip comes from the comments and the personal experiences others have shared and the passion they’ve expressed. That’s the sort of thing you don’t ever see in other forms of media – actual humans that can relate to something and their willingness to open up about it. That’s both the interesting and impressive part about the comic – it’s comment section and the tales it tells. It’s a pity it was locked so early, I’m sure much more could have poured fourth from the souls of those who read it, and that’s always worthwhile reading as far as I’m concerned.

      • DarkVeghetta
        DarkVeghetta
        May 25, 2016 at 7:21 pm | #

        Hmm, apparently some comments where too… asshole-ish to the more sensitive parts of the audience, so Willis decided to err on the side of caution and closed them. Can’t say I agree with the stance, but I don’t have to – it’s his comic after all.
        It’s bemusing that information slipped by me the first time since I rarely read the author-text-blurb, but after posting above I decided to check more thoroughly for some possible explanation (because his twitter didn’t go into details).

        After checking through all the comments for the next strip, the last one is at 3:02am – first one being on 12:02am; meaning it took exactly 3h for them to close. Fascinating.
        Also now that I’ve red more of them I’m somewhat more in a solemn mood. Still, damn fine comments, I urge everyone to read at least some of them.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      May 26, 2016 at 12:30 am | #

      I’ve waited for a full day to be able to read two in a row, going there shortly. When I saw your comment that comments are closed, I said ‘whoa’. Good or bad, it’s going to be good.

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Target Scales Back Pride Section To Single T-Shirt Saying They’d Do A Threesome With A Girl For Their Boyfriend’s Birthday
MINNEAPOLIS—Responding to conservative backlash over a large selection of offerings for the month of June, Target announced Friday that they would scale back their gay pride section to a single t-shir...
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reposted by David M Willis!
lovejoolz.bsky.social's user avatar
Jules Effin Rivera @lovejoolz.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Happy Pride! Here's the comic where I come out as a Disaster Pansexual *and* Animal Crossing Weirdo
Love, Joolz comic
Panel 1
Jules and Blackbird chilling on the couch. 
J: I'm going to my friend's Pride March in Animal crossing! Time to make a cool outfit that show off my cousins. 
B: But you already have Disaster Bisexual outfits in Animal Crossing. 
Panel 2
Jules attempts to sew a dress in the Pansexual colors.
J: I am not a disaster bisexual. I'm Pansexual.
B: What's the difference? 
J: Getting horny for way more options.
Panel 3
Blackbird flutters agitatedly at Jules, who struggles with the sewing machine. 
B: Jules you're running out of time! 
J: It's fine! I can get the dress done in time!
B: We gotta go! 
J: It's fine! I can get the dress done in time! 
B: We gotta go! We're gonna miss the march! 
J: It's fine it's fine it's fine it's--
Panel 4: 
Jules and Blackbird at the Animal Crossing Pride parade. Blackbird is in a cap with Trans flag colors and a shirt with a rainbow pattern. Jules is in a suit with a bow tie and a froggie hat. She looks a mess. 
B: Jesus God, you really are a disaster bisexual. 
J: Disaster Pansexual.
B: Right. 
B: Jesus God
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
tfw the secret ingredient definitely isn't poison
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reposted by David M Willis!
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sarahquaint @sarahquaint.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Can we get a license for an additional official if we pay the processing fee and donate the harvest to a food bank?
kendrawcandraw.bsky.social's user avatarKendra, regular version @kendrawcandraw.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Every queer person gets to kill and eat one(1) sitting US official this month
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reposted by David M Willis!
ryannorth.ca's user avatar
Ryan North @ryannorth.ca ⋅ 1d
by carefully mixing 10% cream with 1% skim milk, you can unlock forbidden milk percentages the government doesn't want you to know about, like 7.725%
some milk I used to make Forbidden Percentages. I didn't mention 2% in my post though. I gotta keep some secrets
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
online transformers collectors: i hope ss86 megatron doesn't have big ol' treads on his back!!! ss86 megatron: *treads fold up inside the legs* online transformers collectors: HIS LEGS ARE TOO CHUNKY >>>:((((
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "Sweet prank" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
www.dumbingofage.com
Sweet prank
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
View AND change this, if we were talking quantum mechanics
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reposted by David M Willis!
rincewind.run's user avatar
Micah @rincewind.run ⋅ 2d
the big disconnect that happens here is between the correct message for D politicians (especially in red states), which is “you’re right, this isn’t who you are, you’re better than that, vote differently next time” and the actual truth, which is yes you did, fuck you
kevinbuist.com's user avatarKevin Buist @kevinbuist.com ⋅ 2d
Yes, you did vote to deport moms.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Raw milk has the opportunity to do the funniest thing
fangferric.bsky.social's user avatarFerric Fang @fangferric.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
RFK Jr celebrated the release of the MAHA report by downing raw milk shooters in the White House with influencer Paul Saladino. Hazards of raw milk include Listeria, Salmonella, Campylobacter, Yersinia, E. coli O157:H7, and now-- avian flu.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
maggie, reading a strip from a year from now: oh this is so obnoxious, i love it she gets me
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