WARNING: This comic often ignores the Laws of Physics
Sam & Fuzzy
Sam Logan
Troubled by gangster rodents, lovesick vampire stalkers, or confused ninja assassins? Don't panic! Sam and Fuzzy are here to help. (For a reasonable fee.)
Devil's Candy
Rem, Bikkuri
A lush fantasy about boy genius Kazu Decker, the girl he constructed for his 9th grade science project, and the world of devils and monsters they live in.
Goodbye to Halos
Valerie Halla
Cuddles, gay flirting, weird feelings, and magic-fueled knife fights - it's an adventure across the queer multiverse!
Love Not Found
Gina Biggs
Abeille is on a quest to find someone who wants to do it the old-fashioned way in a time when touching has become outdated.
Lilith's Word
inkPangur
If you had the power to make any wish come true using just one word, what would you say?
[un]Divine
Ayme
A highschool senior thought giving up his soul for a demon was a good idea. It wasn't.
Sufficiently Remarkable
Maki Naro
Two young women living in Brooklyn discover that you're always coming of age.
Empowered
Adam Warren
A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn't) about the never-ending struggles of a plucky but very unlucky young superheroine.
Lighter Than Heir
Melissa Albino
A young Volant woman joins the military in an effort to upstage her war-hero father.
Girl Genius
Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio
In a time when the Industrial Revolution has become an all-out war, Mad Science rules the World...with mixed success.
The Witch Door
Anni K.
Katariina Lehto discovers her neighbor is a witch called Jousia Muotka. Jousia introduces Katariina to the strange people and places beyond the witch door...
Between Failures
Jackie Wohlenhaus
The low stakes adventures of an assorted group of 20 somethings trapped in the declining years of American retail. They are naughty and say lots of swears.
Star Trip
Gisele Weaver
Jas is a human taken from her home planet on a trip across the galaxy she will never forget.
The Lonely Vincent Bellingham
Diana Huh
Vincent is an unkind man looking to disappear, and finds himself in the care of a vampire and her two wicked children.
Monsterkind
Taylor C
Wallace Foster, a young, bright-eyed human social worker, has his entire world view rocked when he's suddenly relocated into a city primarily inhabited by monsters.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Kiwi Blitz
Mary Cagle (Cube Watermelon)
Steffi thinks she can use her kiwi mech to become a superhero. This idea turns out to be very stupid.
Paranatural
Zack Morrison
Superpowered middle schoolers fight evil spirits in their rural hometown. Come for the jokes, stay for the cast, the creatures, and the mystery that ties them all together!
Fireweeds Moors
Gato Iberico
A cat-headed man and a girl with a sandwich hankering accidentally end up in a myth-infused country where magic chalices are a really big thing.
Never Satisfied
Taylor Robin
Lucy Marlowe, a magician's apprentice, competes against other apprentices for an important, magical, Goverment Job.
Caramel Corn
Potchimew
Sarah is the only human left in a world full of mythical creatures and monsters. All she wants to do is live a quiet life, but everything changes when she meets her guardian angel, Jacob.
Monster Pulse
Magnolia Porter Siddell
Four kids run afoul of a creepy secret organization's experiments, which turn their body parts into fighting monsters. Part sentimental coming-of-age story, part monster-training shonen manga, with just a bit of sci-fi body horror.
Star Impact
Jack McGee
A young, energetic woman fights her way up in the world of super-powered boxing after discovering the mighty gloves of her missing idol!
Dumbing of Age
David M Willis
Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Nerf Now!!
Josué Pereira
A cute webcomic about fanservice, video games, and... love. Mostly video games, though.
The Automan's Daughter
Mike Stamm
Aisha Osman and her uncle Siddig outwit bikers, spies and kidnappers while gearing up for a showdown with the formidable Widowmaker mecha.
Demon's Mirror
Harry Bogosian
Based loosely off of "The Snow Queen", a story by Hans Christian Andersen, we see things take a different turn as the demons become central characters, and the side characters stick around. Yup, that's the only differences. Enjoy!
The Sanity Circus
Windy
Magic, monsters and mysteries await in the odd city of Sanity. It's up to Attley and a colorful group of characters to find out just what is going on.
Knights Errant
J.R. Doyle
Wilfrid's humble quest for revenge becomes bigger and bloodier by the day.
Alice and the Nightmare
Misha Krivanek
Alice finally attends University to learn to collect the dreams of humans, meet new friends, and deal with a pesky reflection along the way.
Wilde Life
Pascalle Lepas
Oscar decided to rent an old haunted house, and that's when things got weird...
Godslave
Meaghan Carter
Edith has been thrown into the dangerous world of modern-day Egyptian mythology. Fighting monsters and dealing with family drama of godly proportions.
Cyanide & Happiness
Explosm
Satire, dark humor and surreal humor.
Atomic Robo
Brian Clevinger, Scott Wegener
The robot punches monsters and bad robots and one time he was a cowboy.
Cassiopeia Quinn
Gunwild, Psudonym
A cute, pantsless thief is pursued across the stars by a buttoned-up military officer in the spacey, laser-filled future.
Starhammer
J.N. Monk, Harry Bogosian
A teen girl inherits a powerful alien artifact and proceeds to make a series of increasingly poor decisions
Real Science Adventures
Brian Clevinger
Spin off stories and other adventures from the world of Atomic Robo!
Stand Still, Stay Silent
Minna Sundberg
A few generations after the end of the world, a small, poorly financed research crew is sent out to rediscover whatever is left of the forbidden old world in the south.
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Believe it or not, many early Christian denominations actually practiced a primitive form of socialism in their monasteries.
These proto-socialist practices were also adopted by the Puritans in their American townsends, although some of the latter weren’t necessarily for religious reasons.
As a part of “Christian Charity”, Puritans were obliged to provide for those who couldn’t work, such as children and elderly widows.
Every member of these townsends were also guaranteed a minimum amount of land, and there were maximum limits on the amount of land anyone could own. This wasn’t necessarily religiously inspired, but rather to prevent the extreme inequality that existed back in England.
Believe it or not, Native Americans and migrants to the colonies actually benefited a lot from trade and enjoyed a mutual coexistence for quite some time, until things began going downhill from there. Very, VERY much downhill.
The relative lack of conflict between the early Puritans and the natives was mostly due to the unfortunate reality that most of the native populations where they settled had already been wiped out by pandemic diseases caught from the English fisherman who had been setting up seasonal fishing camps and trading with the natives for decades by that point and the survivors had largely evacuated the plague zone. Don’t confuse a lack of natives to displace with good intentions.
While there was certainly trade and mutual benefit on various occasions, especially in the very first years, that “quite some time” was pretty short really.
Plymouth colony was settled in 1620. The Pequot war was in 1636, though there had been minor conflicts before then.
That’s not Christianity! That’s Fascist Communism! Those Puritans need to remember that this is America and they need to practice good, Christian Capitalism like our ancestors who came over on the Mayflower did!
……
…. man, Poe’s law won’t let me satirize ANYTHING conservative these days.
First of all, in these townsends, distribution was still mostly based on contribution within their limitations in their economies, as opposed to need. This is what makes a socialist economy distinct from a communist economy. So it would really be theofascist socialism.
Second of all, the Puritans split like a banana before the 1700s because of rather heated theological disputes.
Oh, it goes further back than monasteries.
“All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.”
-Acts 2:45-46
I think, spin aside, Jesus’s only message on taxes (slightly paraphrased to fit our society rather than Rome’s) was, “Hey, pull a dollar out of your wallet. You see that face on it? You do? Good. Whose face is that on that dollar? Washington’s? That’s right, it’s Washington’s. So render unto Washington that which is Washington’s.”
Mostly because Jesus taught that the Kingdom was at hand. That they lived in the end times and all that mattered was getting right with God before the kingdom of heaven was established on earth. There wasn’t really much concern with unimportant, transient things like tax policy.
This caused problems for the growing religion when it became apparent that the Kingdom wasn’t quite as at hand as they’d thought.
Also, as I understand it, they were trying to entrap him. Trying to get him to ADMIT he was in opposition to Rome’s rule. Jesus had to talk around a lot of verbal traps.
I feel part of why she let herself be interested in Jacob was because she felt he was safe enough and wouldn’t be trying to pressure her for sex, and would help her say no when certain parts of her were arguing for yes.
…. I mean, that wasn’t the ONLY part of why she was interested, but I think she’d have avoided him rather than pursued him if he wasn’t safe like that.
Whereas I suspect she would have been pushing him within a few dates, while someone pressuring her wouldn’t have succeeded. You’re right about her feeling that he was safe, but that just means she’ll let her guard down.
How Becky’s been acting: Joyce is hornier and less self-aware.
Toy maker or carpenter, there’s no way he would have worn a robe. Besides the fact that the latter were a luxury at his time, it would have proven a very dangerous occupational hazard!
In 1st century C.E., blue dye only came from a mineral called lapis lazuli, which was very expensive. Until alternative means of creating that color in clothing and paint were invented, paintings and clothing seldom used blue.
Nah, “Jesus” is a Roman translation of “Joshua” which means “savior”. So you’ve to your savior named “Savior”. In the earliest texts, there is no “Jesus” – just cryptic abbreviations that are ASSUMED to mean “Jesus”. Later, when we DO find the word “Jesus” inserted into the texts, there’s an indicative article that goes with it: “THE Jesus”. THE Savior. This is a job description, not a person. A similar construction is in John THE BAPTIST. The Baptist is the same structure as The Jesus. And in any case, the letter “J” didn’t even enter the language until the 9th Century CE, so whatevs…
Actually the “savior” part was Christ, the Greek word for “messiah”. The earliest cryptic mentions of his followers were in the form of an acronym spelling out the Greek word for “fish”; hence the symbol for the religion still displayed on many people’s cars.
‘Yeshua’ in Hebrew, or ‘Yeshu’ in Aramaic, the name most commonly transliterated in Englush texts as ‘Joshua’ or ‘Jesus’, means “God will rescue” or “God saves”, which doesn’t have exactly the same connotations as “saviour”. The definite article comes from a quirk of Koine Greek, the dialect the New Testament was written in, which applies the definite article to all personal names. So we get constructions like ‘Ho Iesos Ho Xristos’ (The Jesus The Chosen One), ‘Ho Ioannos Ho Baptismou’ (The John The Baptiser) and ‘Ho Simonos Ho Petros’ (The Simon The Rock).
The Greek word ‘Xristos’ (“Christ”) IS a direct translation of the Hebrew ‘mesh’i’ah’ (“Messiah”), but both words mean “the annointed (or chosen) one)”. The Greek word for ‘saviour’ is ‘sotera’, which does indeed appear in the ‘fish’ acronym: Iesos Xristos Theou ‘Yiou Sotera (Jesus the Annointed one, God’s, Savour), the first letters of which spell the word for ‘fish’, IXThYS (in Greek, ‘Th’ is a single letter).
You don’t know your Greek. Proper names regularly had a definite article, especially if followed by a description. And Latin didn’t have any articles at all.
Yeah, different contraceptive techniques were definitely practiced. Pulling out was definitely an old enough technique to be in the Bible, for instance.
That’s right. The problem wasn’t the masturbation, the problem was that Onan was ignoring his fuckquest (to impregnate a specific widow. It gets cultural).
Obey the fuckquest.
Other creatures have intestines, but “using human intestines as contraception” sounds like a truly awful euphemism for anal sex, so there’s kind of a lot going on here
Twisting words around to fit your worldview, one of the greatest human pastimes.
And now the usual English language version clearly says “lay”, so it’s fine as long as you’re doing it standing up, or on your knees, but you can’t spend the night.
Silphium, yeah. I believe its seeds are even thought to be (one of) the possible origins of the classic “heart” symbol, which if you’ll notice looks absolutely nothing like an actual mammalian heart.
If I can recall, Silphium was actually used as an aphrodisiac in that era, making it the OPPOSITE of a contraceptive! It also made snakes explode, allegedly.
ok you made me go down to my local wikipedia and this is fascinating.
however, how is an aphrodisiac the opposite of a contraceptive? i’m not well versed in endocrinology but i would hazard arousal and fertility are two distinct biochemical systems? they might be somewhat correlated.
also, if the risk of getting pregnant is a major turnoff for you, i can see how being on Silphium (provided it was fairly efficient) might act as an aphrodisiac ^^
Okay now I’m trying to figure out if you’re missing subtext or if I’m missing out on an actual regional fight about popcorn styles, and I would love for the latter to be the case.
Okay, I’m really charmed by this. Playful banter? Cute expressions?
I mean, we’ve seen Walky be legitimately pretty good at flirtation in the past, but he obviously is often awkward enough to where it tends to catch me by surprise every time.
Here’s something most religious fundamentalist don’t know. There’s a section of the bible that condones abortion
There’s a passage in Numbers that says that you can go to a local preist and get him to ask god to commit an abortion curse himself if you think your wife is carrying another man child…I’m not kidding by the way that’s actually in there.
Too lazy to fact check it, but I buy it. The bible has both a passage for everything and at least one other passage that will contradict whichever passage you’re reading.
Between references and recovered fragments there are well over a hundred gospels, only a handful of which are considered cannon. Because they burned the books they didn’t like…and the readers. So there’s a loose consistency enforced by selecting only a subset of available books (and followers).
Though to be fair, it appears that the vast majority of the non-canonical gospels were later even than John. It doesn’t seem to have been just “didn’t like”.
Numbers 5:11-31; Here’s a blog post on the subject. Predictably, there’re people in the comments performing logical acrobatics in an effort to say it means something else, claiming it is instead a divinely-provided way to check if a woman’s been cheating on her husband.
Oddly, there doesn’t seem to be any mention of a way to check if a man’s been cheating on his spouse. A curious omission, that.
Actually, the alleged proof, used by many other cultures around the world to kill innocent women who could not provide it, was to see if they would bleed their on their first time having coitus.
That only works once though. (to the extent it works at all). It might find a bride who had sex before marriage, but it doesn’t even make the pretense of finding a married women cheating on her husband.
Also this marks a very special night. This is the first time, ever, I have seen Lucy in a sexy way. I dunno something about the way she’s definitely up for a bit of a snog and a sny canoodle gives me a new appreciation. Nothing is sexier than a girl who’s feelin’ pretty randy <3
Haha confidentially I hate that drawing. I legit didn’t feel like I did Lucy Justice nor did I feel like the drawing came out sexy. I’m glad people liked it, though. Who knows maybe I’ll do something with her that I can find hot in the future.
I’m sensing some action in the near future for the Walkman…nice! Also I’m really feeling some Joyce parallels with Lucy here. Like Joyce but with less toxic Christianity based hang ups. Not to knock Christianity or religion in general, but Joyce is pretty fucked up by her sexual guilt and it’s hard not to blame it on her religious upbringing. It’s nice to see Lucy maybe represent a more down to Earth religious woman.
I guess it’s just cuz it’s come up more recently but I definitely feel it coming from Becky more than Joyce. Maybe cuz Joyce hasn’t really tried to date since Joe, but then I gotta remember her dreams and ding dong banditing.
I’m impressed by their maturity and the choice to proceed slowly in the relationship, without burning everything. I just wonder if they’ll be able to wait until the third date.
Look, both of you, “chill” is a very flexible word that can cover a wide range of Netflix-concurrent activities. If it’s your comfort level, chilling can just mean cuddling and caressing under a blanket plus maybe a little bit of top-of-the-head kissing.
Heh. Reminds me of a time when I was at a party, and as it got late, I found myself alone with a lady. Somehow I ended up giving her a backrub (I honestly don’t remember how that started) and she asked me what my intentions were. I said “I don’t really have any, I’m just giving you a backrub” at which point she says something like “just so you know, I’m catholic.” Confused, I say “I’m atheist.”
I’m really not expecting anything else at this point, had been dumped about a week earlier, was just enjoying having a bit of human contact, and figured I’d just go back to my friend’s house when the party ended. Backrub continues.
Maybe 15 minutes later she asks me “Do you have a condom?”
Idk casual food, hand holding and cartoons? Sounds like my perfect date honestly. And Lucy isn’t a fundamentalist like Joyce is, i doubt it’s gonna cause conflict
Low effort / low pressure dates are not exactly a bad thing, but it’s obvious that Walky’s level of investment is different than Lucy’s. Also, Pokemon… is that still a thing? Surely there are cartoons out there that are marginally more romantic? Walky is *aware* that Lucy loves Teen Titans Go!, right?
Maybe it’s shallow of me but I would like to see what babies Lucy and Walky might make. I mean if they got pregnant tonight it would probably be like fifty years in real time before we saw how the kid/s turned out, but still.
This is not at all apropos to today’s comic but I must share it. I hit random and was brought to a Mike and Danny comic from Dina’s birthday party. Did you all know the very last thing Danny ever said to Mike (on screen at least) was, “Goodbye forever, Mike.” ?? Like, Willis definitely fuckin did that on purpose, holy shit
Damn you, Willis. It took me a looooong time to get back into the comic after Mike was confirmed dead. I just couldn’t read it for a while. You made me grieve someone who’s neither likable nor real.
Wow, this might be the smoothest I’ve ever seen Walky be, like…ever. Ahaha. I’m impressed, Walky, you did a whole innuendo.
I don’t think I actually remembered Lucy was Christian?
I've noticed the opposing team's fans only cheer when the opponents score on us. To win those fans over, I recommend we score on ourselves repeatedly; that will surely make them so happy they'll start supporting us. And I'm sure all our fans will keep cheering for us—who else is there to cheer for?
One of my favorite moments from Nobel Prize history:
The Nobel Committee couldn’t reach Stanford professor Paul Milgrom to let him know that he had been awarded the Nobel Prize for Economics, so his fellow winner, Robert Wilson, went over to his house in the middle of the night to wake him up!
today in #9chickweedlane i learned that i, too, would stop referring to "aunt xiulan" as such and swap to just "xiulan" now that you're marrying her son
be pretty weird otherwise
"sending the dogs" and "releasing the hounds" should have very similar definitions, and yet they are very much different
but it'd be funny if mary here were thanking them for releasing the hounds
i guess for some reason i wanted to read more about the shfigurarts wicked figures and, of course, OF COURSE, there is fandom beef with any figuarts release that isn't an anime character, of course
A thing that probably seems weird now. We didn’t know Vader had a mechanical hand till 1983. We didn’t know (for sure) that he had mechanical legs until 2005.
Optimus Prime's appearance at the end of GIJOE #140 is extremely funny to me, because the penciler (Chris Batista) definitely knows "what Optimus Prime looks like" while the colorist definitely doesn't.
Yashar Ali 
@yasharali.bsky.social ⋅ 5h
Lux "Nightmare" Alptraum @luxalptraum.com ⋅ 2d
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![Can you put into words what that purpose is? You and the frog have really become icons of this protest.
There’s been a nice overall whimsy that has shown up. The frog is amazing. We had a bunch of other inflatable people here last night, too. I saw people playing Twister the other day.
What they rely on is fear. So by coming out in an absurdist manner, it speaks to them, to some extent, that we’re actually not that afraid.
It also dismantles their narrative a little bit. When they try to describe this situation as “war-torn,” it becomes much harder to take them seriously when they have to post a video saying [U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security] Kristi Noem is up on the balcony staring over the Antifa Army and it’s, like, eight journalists and five protesters and one of them is in a chicken suit.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:lzlqyldh7nfc34pfffvd24ko/bafkreiap6asa64jdjb2vlv4c2sdritjrntsibvsv7baj6o4cgwcfgsjeny@jpeg)
Pablo Hidalghost 
⚧️
oh okay THAT chapter and verse gotcha
Everyone knows that capital gains is a misnomer. It isn’t the capital that gets to enjoy the gains.
Lucy is going to have whiplash.
and what about the verse that says pizza prepared wrong is an abortion.
That’s mistranslated. In the original, it says it is wrong to make pizza from an abortion.
Awe rats. I was looking forward to eating pepperoni made from stem cells!
Just wait until that gets creatively reinterpreted as no pizza made from vat meat.
I definitely wanna see their argument about Jesus’s opinion on capital gains taxes.
Believe it or not, many early Christian denominations actually practiced a primitive form of socialism in their monasteries.
These proto-socialist practices were also adopted by the Puritans in their American townsends, although some of the latter weren’t necessarily for religious reasons.
Colonial socialism isn’t really meaningfully different than capitalism, y’know?
As a part of “Christian Charity”, Puritans were obliged to provide for those who couldn’t work, such as children and elderly widows.
Every member of these townsends were also guaranteed a minimum amount of land, and there were maximum limits on the amount of land anyone could own. This wasn’t necessarily religiously inspired, but rather to prevent the extreme inequality that existed back in England.
And of course, the people already living on that land were included in this inequality-preventing arrangement, right?
Believe it or not, Native Americans and migrants to the colonies actually benefited a lot from trade and enjoyed a mutual coexistence for quite some time, until things began going downhill from there. Very, VERY much downhill.
The relative lack of conflict between the early Puritans and the natives was mostly due to the unfortunate reality that most of the native populations where they settled had already been wiped out by pandemic diseases caught from the English fisherman who had been setting up seasonal fishing camps and trading with the natives for decades by that point and the survivors had largely evacuated the plague zone. Don’t confuse a lack of natives to displace with good intentions.
While there was certainly trade and mutual benefit on various occasions, especially in the very first years, that “quite some time” was pretty short really.
Plymouth colony was settled in 1620. The Pequot war was in 1636, though there had been minor conflicts before then.
That’s not Christianity! That’s Fascist Communism! Those Puritans need to remember that this is America and they need to practice good, Christian Capitalism like our ancestors who came over on the Mayflower did!
……
…. man, Poe’s law won’t let me satirize ANYTHING conservative these days.
First of all, in these townsends, distribution was still mostly based on contribution within their limitations in their economies, as opposed to need. This is what makes a socialist economy distinct from a communist economy. So it would really be theofascist socialism.
Second of all, the Puritans split like a banana before the 1700s because of rather heated theological disputes.
Oh, it goes further back than monasteries.
“All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.”
-Acts 2:45-46
Was going to say that, but you got there first. Dratted socialistic apostles.
I believe it. This was before shit started to get weird, after all.
I think, spin aside, Jesus’s only message on taxes (slightly paraphrased to fit our society rather than Rome’s) was, “Hey, pull a dollar out of your wallet. You see that face on it? You do? Good. Whose face is that on that dollar? Washington’s? That’s right, it’s Washington’s. So render unto Washington that which is Washington’s.”
Mostly because Jesus taught that the Kingdom was at hand. That they lived in the end times and all that mattered was getting right with God before the kingdom of heaven was established on earth. There wasn’t really much concern with unimportant, transient things like tax policy.
This caused problems for the growing religion when it became apparent that the Kingdom wasn’t quite as at hand as they’d thought.
Also, as I understand it, they were trying to entrap him. Trying to get him to ADMIT he was in opposition to Rome’s rule. Jesus had to talk around a lot of verbal traps.
Funny how we’re always living in the End Times with a great reckoning right around the corner.
She really is Forrest Quad’s version of Joyce, isn’t she?
Joyce definitely would not be DTF by date 3
… I have a feeling she would have fucked Jacob by the second, based on how she acted.
I feel part of why she let herself be interested in Jacob was because she felt he was safe enough and wouldn’t be trying to pressure her for sex, and would help her say no when certain parts of her were arguing for yes.
…. I mean, that wasn’t the ONLY part of why she was interested, but I think she’d have avoided him rather than pursued him if he wasn’t safe like that.
Whereas I suspect she would have been pushing him within a few dates, while someone pressuring her wouldn’t have succeeded. You’re right about her feeling that he was safe, but that just means she’ll let her guard down.
How Becky’s been acting: Joyce is hornier and less self-aware.
But of course, those were Jesus’s own ENGLISH words, so we just HAVE to take them at face value. You see where I’m going with this?
I know where Mike would be going, but I’m not sure about you.
Those aren’t his own words. His real name wasn’t even Jesus Christ; it was Yeshua of Nazareth.
I hear he once worked in a toy store.
Toy maker or carpenter, there’s no way he would have worn a robe. Besides the fact that the latter were a luxury at his time, it would have proven a very dangerous occupational hazard!
But he did wear a bright blue sash. Jesus always wore a bright blue sash. (Don’t try to tell me the picture Bible lied.)
Also, an alternative name was Yeshua Bin Yusef. (Joshua Ben Joseph in English).
In 1st century C.E., blue dye only came from a mineral called lapis lazuli, which was very expensive. Until alternative means of creating that color in clothing and paint were invented, paintings and clothing seldom used blue.
OBBWG said, don’t try to tell them that The Picture Bible lied.
A reference to a Shortpacked strip.
” (Joshua Ben Joseph in English).”
I’ll argue it would be Joshua Josephson.
Jesus was a JoJo:Canon.
JoJo’s Bizarre Religion
Nah, “Jesus” is a Roman translation of “Joshua” which means “savior”. So you’ve to your savior named “Savior”. In the earliest texts, there is no “Jesus” – just cryptic abbreviations that are ASSUMED to mean “Jesus”. Later, when we DO find the word “Jesus” inserted into the texts, there’s an indicative article that goes with it: “THE Jesus”. THE Savior. This is a job description, not a person. A similar construction is in John THE BAPTIST. The Baptist is the same structure as The Jesus. And in any case, the letter “J” didn’t even enter the language until the 9th Century CE, so whatevs…
Actually the “savior” part was Christ, the Greek word for “messiah”. The earliest cryptic mentions of his followers were in the form of an acronym spelling out the Greek word for “fish”; hence the symbol for the religion still displayed on many people’s cars.
So his mom’s name wasn’t “Mary Christ”?
What next, you’re going to tell me his middle initial isn’t ‘H’?
Jesus “Hallowed be thy name” Christ.
‘Yeshua’ in Hebrew, or ‘Yeshu’ in Aramaic, the name most commonly transliterated in Englush texts as ‘Joshua’ or ‘Jesus’, means “God will rescue” or “God saves”, which doesn’t have exactly the same connotations as “saviour”. The definite article comes from a quirk of Koine Greek, the dialect the New Testament was written in, which applies the definite article to all personal names. So we get constructions like ‘Ho Iesos Ho Xristos’ (The Jesus The Chosen One), ‘Ho Ioannos Ho Baptismou’ (The John The Baptiser) and ‘Ho Simonos Ho Petros’ (The Simon The Rock).
So what I’m getting from this is that Jesus, Simon Peter, and John the Baptist were all hos
Not just them. In the first-century AD Greek speaking world (I.e. the whole Roman Empire except for actual Rome) EVERYBODY was a ho.
HO HO HO.
My 3 year old usually calls Father Christmas Ho Ho. Even now she can say Father Christmas/Santa.
Except for the women! They were “he”s.
but did they let their emotions go or were they more of a sober ho
The Greek word ‘Xristos’ (“Christ”) IS a direct translation of the Hebrew ‘mesh’i’ah’ (“Messiah”), but both words mean “the annointed (or chosen) one)”. The Greek word for ‘saviour’ is ‘sotera’, which does indeed appear in the ‘fish’ acronym: Iesos Xristos Theou ‘Yiou Sotera (Jesus the Annointed one, God’s, Savour), the first letters of which spell the word for ‘fish’, IXThYS (in Greek, ‘Th’ is a single letter).
What they said. Should have read this before commenting myself.
You don’t know your Greek. Proper names regularly had a definite article, especially if followed by a description. And Latin didn’t have any articles at all.
People can Netflix and Chill, or Netflix and CHIll
And here we have Lucy Glenn demonstrating the infamous bird face
Lots of great Lucy faces here. I have never heard it called “bird face” before, and feel like I’m missing something.
the v in the :v looks like a beak
Wait, really? 8V
There’s some Lucy thirst right there.
A thirst that now even Baha Blast can quench.
Man, I loved the part where Jesus reminded everyone to always practice safe sex by wearing a condom.
Yeah, because people totally knew the recipe for Latex 2000 years ago.
People used to use intestine lining as condoms as well as tortoise shell for contraception… may not be very clean or good for safe sex, but yeah
Yeah, different contraceptive techniques were definitely practiced. Pulling out was definitely an old enough technique to be in the Bible, for instance.
Ah, yes – the “sin” of Onan…
Onan’s sin was disobeying God’s command. The particulars don’t apply to anybody else.
That’s right. The problem wasn’t the masturbation, the problem was that Onan was ignoring his fuckquest (to impregnate a specific widow. It gets cultural).
Obey the fuckquest.
(Incidentally, this old Biblical tradition is also why Becky had Joyce promise to marry and fuck Dina if she died.)
Tell that to my Catholic school. They definitely taught the sin was masturbation.
Well, at least it beats swallowing mercury as birth control.
Yeah, it takes an awful lot of liquid to get an entire planet down!
I was referring to the liquid metal. It did work, but at a terrible price.
You can’t get pregnant if you’re dead
Actually, it worked whilst the time it slowly made you look more and more like the walking dead.
I know, I was just being silly.
Wtf? Like, human ones!?
Yes, all too true. Around 700 C.E., China.
Other creatures have intestines, but “using human intestines as contraception” sounds like a truly awful euphemism for anal sex, so there’s kind of a lot going on here
Actually as far as I know, there are no Biblical laws specifically against anal sex. Just against men doing it with men.
Well, maybe. The Hebrew is iffy.
Twisting words around to fit your worldview, one of the greatest human pastimes.
And now the usual English language version clearly says “lay”, so it’s fine as long as you’re doing it standing up, or on your knees, but you can’t spend the night.
“Lambskin”, or lamb intestine, condoms are centuries old. They don’t stop viruses, though.
Much older than that, actually. Ancient Greeks wrote about using goat bladders for protection.
by that time the romans where using a plant for contraception… it was used to extinction…
Silphium, yeah. I believe its seeds are even thought to be (one of) the possible origins of the classic “heart” symbol, which if you’ll notice looks absolutely nothing like an actual mammalian heart.
If I can recall, Silphium was actually used as an aphrodisiac in that era, making it the OPPOSITE of a contraceptive! It also made snakes explode, allegedly.
ok you made me go down to my local wikipedia and this is fascinating.
however, how is an aphrodisiac the opposite of a contraceptive? i’m not well versed in endocrinology but i would hazard arousal and fertility are two distinct biochemical systems? they might be somewhat correlated.
also, if the risk of getting pregnant is a major turnoff for you, i can see how being on Silphium (provided it was fairly efficient) might act as an aphrodisiac ^^
The greater your “appetite”, the greater your willingness to take risk to satisfy it.
Besides, I’m not sure if any of the alleged properties of Silphium were even true. The plant itself may even be extinct.
Right before He said that God only loves rich people.
Lucy: “And working on your comics together could totally count as our first date, and Netflix will be our third, so…”
Wish I got aborted, dang lucky dead fetus’
OK I’m seeing a slight conflict in the future as Lucy gets nuked from orbit.
In regards to the alt text, let me get my popcorn ready
New York popcorn or Chicago popcorn?
I have never wanted an upvote option more than I do for that comment.
Montreal popcorn.
Popcorn with pineapple
Okay, if we’re about to throw down about some fuckin’ corn, I’m legally required to remind y’all I’m from Illinois.
Okay now I’m trying to figure out if you’re missing subtext or if I’m missing out on an actual regional fight about popcorn styles, and I would love for the latter to be the case.
Popcorn is serious business in Illinois. And it’s also delicious.
Pennsylvania kettle corn.
Okay, I’m really charmed by this. Playful banter? Cute expressions?
I mean, we’ve seen Walky be legitimately pretty good at flirtation in the past, but he obviously is often awkward enough to where it tends to catch me by surprise every time.
“Oh yeah, he can actually be clever sometimes.”
Yeah no this is adorable, i love it
Here’s something most religious fundamentalist don’t know. There’s a section of the bible that condones abortion
There’s a passage in Numbers that says that you can go to a local preist and get him to ask god to commit an abortion curse himself if you think your wife is carrying another man child…I’m not kidding by the way that’s actually in there.
Too lazy to fact check it, but I buy it. The bible has both a passage for everything and at least one other passage that will contradict whichever passage you’re reading.
It’s almost like it’s a collection of books that really have very little to do with each other most of the time, and thus lacks internal consistency.
Exactly
Between references and recovered fragments there are well over a hundred gospels, only a handful of which are considered cannon. Because they burned the books they didn’t like…and the readers. So there’s a loose consistency enforced by selecting only a subset of available books (and followers).
Though to be fair, it appears that the vast majority of the non-canonical gospels were later even than John. It doesn’t seem to have been just “didn’t like”.
Numbers 5:11-31; Here’s a blog post on the subject. Predictably, there’re people in the comments performing logical acrobatics in an effort to say it means something else, claiming it is instead a divinely-provided way to check if a woman’s been cheating on her husband.
Oddly, there doesn’t seem to be any mention of a way to check if a man’s been cheating on his spouse. A curious omission, that.
Actually, the alleged proof, used by many other cultures around the world to kill innocent women who could not provide it, was to see if they would bleed their on their first time having coitus.
The proof of infidelity is really there, though. You should check it out.
That only works once though. (to the extent it works at all). It might find a bride who had sex before marriage, but it doesn’t even make the pretense of finding a married women cheating on her husband.
that is the bitter water section. it can be googled as such and get results
And causing the death of an unborn fetus is treated as a property crime, not murder.
The Bible also says to kill people who work on Saturday. But honestly, who actually follows that command?
Employers?
*Citizen Kane slow clap gif*
*a passing car is playing “Purple People Eater” out a window*
Mmmm… purple people eaters can actually taste real good if you just use the right SAUCE!!!
Guess that makes you a Purple People Eater Eater.
“no chill… unless… haha, just kidding… unless…”
“Sermon on the Mount”
Ah, so Jesus actually demonstrated HOW to have sex on the 3rd date. He even teaches you how to mount your partner!
Christ, I wish. I would have actually payed attention during bible study more than just the points where we talked about the Book of Revelation
“Though a virgin, Jesus knew how to do many acts with his hands and mouth that as God, our father, has decreed “Don’t count”.”
-Mounting 6:9
i think i just found religious
a real “coming to jesus” moment x3
*religion smh apparently i can’t type grammatically
Check out Song of Solomon sometime.
Or even The Illustrated Song of Solomon.
https://www.amazon.com/Song-Solomon-Illustrated-beautiful-illustrated/dp/1495216810
One of them is going to retroactively declare their previous hangouts as “dates”, aren’t they?
Considering how thirsty she’s been for Walky so far, I’m betting it’ll be Lucy.
Also this marks a very special night. This is the first time, ever, I have seen Lucy in a sexy way. I dunno something about the way she’s definitely up for a bit of a snog and a sny canoodle gives me a new appreciation. Nothing is sexier than a girl who’s feelin’ pretty randy <3
Also Walky's pretty hot here too ngl.
Considering how sexily you drew her last week, that is a remarkable statement.
Haha confidentially I hate that drawing. I legit didn’t feel like I did Lucy Justice nor did I feel like the drawing came out sexy. I’m glad people liked it, though. Who knows maybe I’ll do something with her that I can find hot in the future.
You’re a bad influence on Willis.
Keep it up.
Walky is a good date.
If they cuddle while watching cartoons this’ll honestly be my ideal date
Don’t forget “God’s Loophole”, Walky.
I was hoping this would be this song. Very nice.
Just make sure to use plenty of lube.
If Walky’s referring to the new seasons then Pokemon’s always gonna be on Netflix.
Well, unless they make like Chewing Gum and move to HBO Max.
I’m sensing some action in the near future for the Walkman…nice! Also I’m really feeling some Joyce parallels with Lucy here. Like Joyce but with less toxic Christianity based hang ups. Not to knock Christianity or religion in general, but Joyce is pretty fucked up by her sexual guilt and it’s hard not to blame it on her religious upbringing. It’s nice to see Lucy maybe represent a more down to Earth religious woman.
I guess it’s just cuz it’s come up more recently but I definitely feel it coming from Becky more than Joyce. Maybe cuz Joyce hasn’t really tried to date since Joe, but then I gotta remember her dreams and ding dong banditing.
There was also Ethan, who she was dating because he was safe and who she still basically threw herself at once.
We need to see those two hang out more.
not least because it means Ethan hasn’t been written out of the comic
smh i checked in another tab to make sure this didn’t go through
not least because it would mean Ethan hasn’t been written out of the comic
Wow, I hate this. Good writing!
Great Morty impression, Lucy!
Aw jeez!
I’m impressed by their maturity and the choice to proceed slowly in the relationship, without burning everything. I just wonder if they’ll be able to wait until the third date.
The negotiations proceed…
Speaking of Bible stuff, does Lucy know of Walky’s sordid past as a singing church mouse?
No, and she won’t until and unless Walky fails to pay off Joyce.
Or she finds him on IMDB like Amber did.
i equally love and hate how relentlessly adorable these dorks are
Look, both of you, “chill” is a very flexible word that can cover a wide range of Netflix-concurrent activities. If it’s your comfort level, chilling can just mean cuddling and caressing under a blanket plus maybe a little bit of top-of-the-head kissing.
The blanket is required for chilling temperatures, of course.
all this time, I figured it just meant something like “veg”. Put the new-TV on, sit down, relax for a while while watching it.
not least because, at least to me, anything involving sex or even arousal is literally the opposite of “chill”.
Walky is having second thoughts. Lucy should grab him while she can.
Nice avatar
Oh come on Willis, you know we’re gonna argue more about pizza than abortion.
Lucy: *cocks cock* “I’m a Christian, but…”
I fucking love this holy shit
Heh. Reminds me of a time when I was at a party, and as it got late, I found myself alone with a lady. Somehow I ended up giving her a backrub (I honestly don’t remember how that started) and she asked me what my intentions were. I said “I don’t really have any, I’m just giving you a backrub” at which point she says something like “just so you know, I’m catholic.” Confused, I say “I’m atheist.”
I’m really not expecting anything else at this point, had been dumped about a week earlier, was just enjoying having a bit of human contact, and figured I’d just go back to my friend’s house when the party ended. Backrub continues.
Maybe 15 minutes later she asks me “Do you have a condom?”
“I got my technique down and everything. I don’t be tickling or nothing”
“Would you give a guy a foot massage?”
“… Fuck you.”
I mean… Did u have one tho?
Very good dialog!
I wish I could do with my mouth what Lucy is doing in Frame 5.
What a handy way to get that last olive out of the bottom of the jar.
Her expression in Frame 3 is equally impossible: open mouth, while somehow simultaneously biting her lower lip.
a) Walky is not religious, while Lucy is. This difference in attitude was never fully explored in Joyce & Walky. This time, however…
b) This date is not very romantic. Also, Walky’s interest in fast food is greater than his interest in Lucy. This will not end well.
Idk casual food, hand holding and cartoons? Sounds like my perfect date honestly. And Lucy isn’t a fundamentalist like Joyce is, i doubt it’s gonna cause conflict
Low effort / low pressure dates are not exactly a bad thing, but it’s obvious that Walky’s level of investment is different than Lucy’s. Also, Pokemon… is that still a thing? Surely there are cartoons out there that are marginally more romantic? Walky is *aware* that Lucy loves Teen Titans Go!, right?
Note that Pokémon is *Amber’s* thing. Seems relevant.
This is very cute. I’m enjoying Walky being the more experienced party.
For an ultimate argument thread, put pineapple on abortion
Walky Performs A Chill
Hey Walky! Pro tip: If you count “hanging out the other day” and “planning the comic strip” as dates retroactively, this is already your third date.
Maybe it’s shallow of me but I would like to see what babies Lucy and Walky might make. I mean if they got pregnant tonight it would probably be like fifty years in real time before we saw how the kid/s turned out, but still.
Shoot, I’ll likely be dead then.
This is not at all apropos to today’s comic but I must share it. I hit random and was brought to a Mike and Danny comic from Dina’s birthday party. Did you all know the very last thing Danny ever said to Mike (on screen at least) was, “Goodbye forever, Mike.” ?? Like, Willis definitely fuckin did that on purpose, holy shit
We’re gonna be in for a shock when we find out Danny is in charge of the Korean Mob in Indiana.
Damn that’s some foreshadowing!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Damn you, Willis. It took me a looooong time to get back into the comic after Mike was confirmed dead. I just couldn’t read it for a while. You made me grieve someone who’s neither likable nor real.
See previous post.
They’ll be okay.
They’ll be okay.
Three dates later…
Three dates later it’s the fourth date and we find the Slipshine occurred on the third date over the new time skip.
Wow, this might be the smoothest I’ve ever seen Walky be, like…ever. Ahaha. I’m impressed, Walky, you did a whole innuendo.
I don’t think I actually remembered Lucy was Christian?