but the problem is, I don’t think Dina IS second place, I think it was just a case of Becky’s brain shutting down over the thought, she’s had a few too many worldviews shattered recently. honestly the big reaction was because Becky let her belief be eroded by something valid, this certainly isn’t a case of anyone needing to be fixed though, who hasn’t had their first love break their heart? ~<3
but the problem is, I don’t think Dina IS second place, I think it was just a case of Becky’s brain shutting down over the thought, she’s had a few too many worldviews shattered recently. honestly the big reaction was because Becky let her belief be eroded by something valid, this certainly isn’t a case of anyone needing to be fixed though, who hasn’t had their first love break their heart? ~<3
i am also reading this into the situation. if dina want to be with becky, and is willing to put in the effort to try to see if becky can accept her as her #1, and becky still cannot,then dina at least can say she tried everything.
IMO, I think that once Becky takes a minute to actually examine her own feelings in the cold light of day, Dina is actually more important to her. That if it somehow really came down to a choice between dating Joyce or dating Dina, she would date Dina. But it’s still gonna be hard to admit that to herself, because it’s going to mean letting go of this closely-guarded part of her heart that kept her going through the first 18 years of her life amidst all the rest of the trauma. That’s why she had the kneejerk reaction she did, and then that spiralled with her feeling like she doesn’t deserve to be happy. It’s trauma the whole way down.
If Becky does that self-examination (and if I’m right about the conclusion), Dina and Becky have a shot at working through the rest. If not, then yeah, Dina deserves better.
Yeah this here is the thing. Becky and Dina *have had an actual romantic relationship*.
Yes, Becky has a *years* long crush on her best friend… but that’s what it is: *an unreciprocated crush on her best friend*. It’s easy to fall into the trap of this meaning somehow this means Dina is second place, but that involves putting an actual intimate relationship they put time and effort into building together on par with… well, a *crush*.
Both Dina and the audience worry that because Becky’s crush was so intense, that this means somehow Becky’s feelings for Dina are diminished, or a semi-rebound (can it actually be a rebound if there was never a romantic relationship to begin with?). But the reality is, the thing Becky had for Joyce wasn’t *there*. She wished it’d been for years, and never took the time to sort through the feelings fully because she struggles with confronting the parts of herself that are painful or in pain.
But the thing she has with Dina *was and is real.*
The next step is up to Becky to realize it, and to realize the difference between what she built with Dina with a crush on her best friend that didn’t pan out.
I guess I’m confused, because it appears that I see relationships and marriage differently from most of the people here.
…I thought marriage is supposed to be all about finding a way to be happy with what you have. “Love the one you’re with.” “Love each other, warts and all.” “You’ll grow to love each other over time.” “Settle for settling down.” And all those platitudes.
…I mean, am I wrong? It seems that committing to take care of one another long-term is much more important than being #1 for each other.
…Maybe that’s just my own skewed viewpoint, though?
I think for some people, the idea of committing to one another long term goes hand in hand with being #1 for that person. I’ll freely admit I’m biromantic, sex-repulsed asexual and it has been… about a decade since my last relationship so I know my own values and wants in a relationship are different from your typical allosexual. If I was dating someone and they were hung up on someone else, I would probably still be with them… so long as being hung up on that other person obviously doesn’t include cheating. Otherwise, if they’re like “I’m still bummed this person I loved didn’t feel the same as me” and I love them enough to date them, I’m just gonna be like “yeah babe, sorry that happened. How about we go on a date and take your mind off things”.
I would be tickled pink if Joyce’s intervention actually works and Dina and Becky get back together. Unfortunately, I suspect that Becky and her internalized self-loathing will be a bigger obstacle to that happening.
It’s also interesting how Joyce’s language is echoing what Joe told her about her and Dorothy, that he wanted her to have the things that she wanted. I wonder if Joe will add anything before we cut away.
It is so fucking stupid that this worked, I’m sorry. Joyce spewed a whole bunch of bullshit and it was supposed to be an actual powerful moment? Come on.
“Be selfish! Have what you want!” is not a strong direction to take this conflict that is fundamentally about Becky’s hangups and baggage, and it would be far more interesting and engaging to focus on exploring and resolving those instead of whatever the fuck this is.
embe13
but this may be the best way to get to that meat on the bone that is beckys trauma and issue. it all makes sense to me, the way joyce processes these thoughts, very on point for those in my adhd circle
And does Dina *want* to be Becky’s silver medal? Like, this is pretty shitty advice from the woman who’s entire experience with relationships involves pressuring a gay man back into the closet, attempting to get a man to cheat on his girlfriend, and cheating on her boyfriend a few days ago (has it been two or just the one day since August now? I’ve…lost track) while talking about being selfish and chasing what you want with him *still in the room*
*Meanwhile, Joe on the other side of the room wondering if he was ever actually something she wanted*
Grimey
I am willing to go out on a limb and assume every single person Joyce has ever shown interest in was someone she wanted *at the time*.
Dorothy is…Your Mileage May Vary just because the awareness that Dorothy was on the table did not make itself present until their Paramore moment. Longing. Panging. Subconsciously negging Walky to Dorothy every step of the way of their relationship without any other reason besides ‘he’s a dumb’.
I feel like the sentiment does work but only if completely divorced from the context of Becky and Dina’s last interaction which in fairness Joyce is not aware of.
Yeah, it feels like it’s implicitly saying that for Dina to be happy she should compromise on her own dignity, which is kinda at odds with the “be selfish (in a good way)” message.
This comic is called Dumbing of Age, its not about people making the smartest choices or the choices that even make sense every time.
I do see why Joyce thinks this will work, because so far it has worked out for her, she did the thing she has wanted to do for ages without fully understanding it and it has so far worked out and she is happy, so why not tell others to do that to if they want to be happy.
The fact that all of that worked for Joyce doesn’t guarantee it will work for Dina, and yes, this is Dumbing of Age, it’s obvious that nobody here is exempt from being a fool, but there are some who take it to the extreme.
People only ever bring up this “it’s called Dumbing of Age” or “it’s not called Smarting of Age” when it’s a knee jerk defense to criticism over narrative beats like this. It’s practically a thought-terminating cliche at this point.
I’m really disapointted as well if this works. What even is happening here.
Joyce is spouting some post-fundie nonsense, and it’s somehow convincing Dina she should go back to Becky? What’s next, a ”greed is good” spiel from Wolf of Wallstreet?
Agreed. I was expecting a disaster, but that can still come if Joe is still there overhearing this. She said out loud she won’t dump Dorothy and had a whole speech that one should be a little selfish. Do they need that talk after hearing all this?
i like what joyce is saying here but i’m gonna say something very unpopular which is that i hope this doesn’t work and the lizbians stay broken up, bc like. sure there’s the issue of “becky considers dina second place” but there’s also the whole “dina dropped becky like a sack of rocks the moment she started having a mental health crisis over this new joyce development” thing? which i don’t think i’ve seen anyone talk about here??? like for both of them i feel like it’s a bit rough to imagine them getting back together after this
(plus i think it’d be more interesting to see them go their separate ways bc i want to see becky have a slut era. she deserves to have all the lesbian sex!)
I do agree Dina not being there for her girlfriend during a mental health crisis strikes bad for me and when I brought it up in the comments I got a lot of “you aren’t your partner’s therapist” and “Dina doesn’t owe that to Becky” responses which are. concerning. Like obviously there’s a point where things get unhealthy and someone becomes an emotional vampire. I’ve experienced that. However, if someone I love goes through a mental health crisis, I’m there for them. No question. Yeah, I’ve lost hours of sleep due to it and gone to work the next day exhausted but being a bit tired is a small price to pay to know that those I love are alive and feel supported. I know that’s not for everyone, it’s a personal choice. But it’s also a big part of loving someone too.
It depends on how often they’ve had this conversation. Probably not that often. But there probably is a tipping point of how often you can manage that issue if it’s persistent and the other person isn’t getting better.
I guess I’m thinking of Elliot and Clinton at QC. Elliot had mental health issues but never got help for it, and it wore down to the point that even if you care about someone, you can’t assuage their problems if you’re the only one putting in the work.
Doopyboop
For Becky and Dina, this particular thing is kind of a first time issue? Like Becky’s been jealous and protective, which Dina has responded to by saying she finds Becky’s jealous reassuring (which isn’t the healthiest response in the world I grant you but that’s their life I suppose). And as with anything, it always depends on the nature of what someone is going through. Like, if someone is in an abusive situation and you’re trying to support them as a friend, and things just aren’t getting better, what does one do? Continue to support their friend? Maybe set up healthy boundaries while offering alternatives to help the friend still? Or just say “man this is just too hard, bye bye”. It’s up to each individual to decide what to do and I think it depends on what choice someone picks that helps them sleep at night.
I’m with you. I was also bothered by Dina going after Becky while Becky was in crisis and pushing on the issue. I get she was hurt in that moment, but I really wish she had gone to someone else if she wasn’t in a place to support Becky.
to answer your question, becky while in a crisis also told dina they were done and walked away. i do not believe dina would have been able in that moment to have becky accept any attempt to support her through that moment, because on beckys head it would be torture for dina to do that when she has just dumped her.
If I’m remembering right, Becky didn’t say they were done and then walked away. She said “I shouldn’t talk about this right now” and then walked away. It was when Dina approached Becky afterwards in her room that Becky responded by saying “If you’re going to leave me, just do it” and “I’m the problem”. Dina agreed that Becky was the problem and then walked away, effectively doing the maybe-dumping. Sidenote but I hate how when you reply to a comment now, the comment you reply to gets smooshed into an unreadable single file letter formation that makes it difficult to look back on what one is responding to.
In what way is saying “If you are going to leave me, just do it” Becky dumping Dina?
Interested in either your logic or something I missed.
embe13
i did misremberthe 2 interactions as one so my bad there, but becky did not give dina the oppourtunity to really respond. i was really (poorly i admit) wanting to counter the “dina dropped becky like a sack of rocks” because that did not happen.
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1000% agree bout the comment you are replying to geting smushed, i also am experiencing the text of my previouos comment still being i the comment window and having to delete it
joyce is saying it because joyce knows that this is the best way to try to get dina and becky back together, this isnt an attempt to show joyce as wise but that joyce like so many of us can and do a good job supporting others without necessarily fully understanding or knowign what we are doing, and satan help anyof us when it comes to applying said support to ourselves
Just… *have* the things you want. Question nothing.
Hell, why not? So far, Joyce and Dorothy haven’t faced any real damaging consequences. (Despite her saying she threw away a lot of things for the relationship.)
Sarah is disappointed but Joyce clearly doesn’t care. And I think Sarah is mostly reluctantly accepting since she talked to Joe and knows that he’s aware of the situation so she’s minding her business now.
Walky is a little irritated at Joyce but she definitely doesn’t care about that and Dorothy hasn’t seen him since the break up so who knows about that… Plus now that he’s distracted with Amber, it probably won’t matter anyway.
So sure… it makes perfectly logical sense that this train of thought is where her logic took her.
If Willis wanted to write a cheating arc then maybe they should have written on instead of just cutting Joe and Joyce’s relationship short to fast track her relationship with Dorothy in a very unsatisfying way.
Interesting. I overthought what Joyce’s message would be. This makes more sense. This is what Joyce would say.
How Dina chooses to interpret it and run with it (or not) will be interesting.
I really like where this drama is going. Joyce saw two paths of sacrifice for herself – sacrifice her lust for Dorothy and lesbianism, or sacrifice her self-image as a goodgirl who would never be so selfish to hurt her friends while chasing that. She picked one, and (in the current honeymoon period, so far) is okay with shedding that part of her self. She picked the “be active in choosing the life I want” path of sacrifice versus the “accept my current unhappiness” path of sacrifice, and (so far) likes the trade, which is why it’d make so much sense for her to advise that to Dina.
What Joyce isn’t getting is that Dina’s sacrifice matrix isn’t quite the same. Dina didn’t (primarily, at least?) end up here out of repression. There’s a lot of ways Dina could take this in a way that really sets up interesting exploration of Dina. Most obviously, Dina might sacrifice her dignity to go back with Becky. That seems like a bad thing, but she might also reduce her need for the people around her to see her the right way, reduce the need for the people around her to be correct, to have a type of “loosening up” that comes from an internal wellspring of confidence, which could be good. Alternatively, she could interpret this to mean “figure out a way to make it work,” and demand Becky work towards seeing her as the #1, which I alluded to yesterday.
Alternatively er, Dina’s intense reaction in panel 3 suggests that she has work to do in being kind to herself, for that message to really leave an impact like that. Especially with her framing of “allowing” that to be. Maybe she sees her preservation of dignity as a *duty* in an overly detached “meeting psychological objectives” way versus connecting with her emotions and desires. That’s another interesting road for development.
I wasn’t super on board with DoJoy in the story for a bit, but now I’m really starting to appreciate how the shakeup has created room for development in the cast for many characters and storylines.
I recommend putting three dashes where you would otherwise put the line break, the system will convert them into a line across the column instead of erasing it.
—
Like so! Not perfect by any means but it at least puts some sort of space between paragraphs.
I got a question for this. When was Joyce unhappy? Was she unhappy with Joe? It didn’t really seem like it. To me it seemed like less of a sacrifice and more like trying to have her cake and eat it too. Specifically having a really gay pining session before going to straddle and makeout with your then boyfriend before having a romantic date and a night of handy pleasure. Then trying to have a mutual masterba- I mean “do laundry” with your bestie before actually just cheating with her that same day.
114 thoughts on “Be selfish”
NGPZ
Dina… noooo….
you can’t fix her, and you deserve so much better than being second place in someone’s heart
TT~TT
DJTsurugi
but the problem is, I don’t think Dina IS second place, I think it was just a case of Becky’s brain shutting down over the thought, she’s had a few too many worldviews shattered recently. honestly the big reaction was because Becky let her belief be eroded by something valid, this certainly isn’t a case of anyone needing to be fixed though, who hasn’t had their first love break their heart? ~<3
DJTsurugi
but the problem is, I don’t think Dina IS second place, I think it was just a case of Becky’s brain shutting down over the thought, she’s had a few too many worldviews shattered recently. honestly the big reaction was because Becky let her belief be eroded by something valid, this certainly isn’t a case of anyone needing to be fixed though, who hasn’t had their first love break their heart? ~<3
embe13
i am also reading this into the situation. if dina want to be with becky, and is willing to put in the effort to try to see if becky can accept her as her #1, and becky still cannot,then dina at least can say she tried everything.
Vukodlak
Alright now explain why the next person Dina goes put with won’t be second place after Becky.
clif
Why do you assume there will be a next person?
Tan
IMO, I think that once Becky takes a minute to actually examine her own feelings in the cold light of day, Dina is actually more important to her. That if it somehow really came down to a choice between dating Joyce or dating Dina, she would date Dina. But it’s still gonna be hard to admit that to herself, because it’s going to mean letting go of this closely-guarded part of her heart that kept her going through the first 18 years of her life amidst all the rest of the trauma. That’s why she had the kneejerk reaction she did, and then that spiralled with her feeling like she doesn’t deserve to be happy. It’s trauma the whole way down.
If Becky does that self-examination (and if I’m right about the conclusion), Dina and Becky have a shot at working through the rest. If not, then yeah, Dina deserves better.
Lanz
Yeah this here is the thing. Becky and Dina *have had an actual romantic relationship*.
Yes, Becky has a *years* long crush on her best friend… but that’s what it is: *an unreciprocated crush on her best friend*. It’s easy to fall into the trap of this meaning somehow this means Dina is second place, but that involves putting an actual intimate relationship they put time and effort into building together on par with… well, a *crush*.
Both Dina and the audience worry that because Becky’s crush was so intense, that this means somehow Becky’s feelings for Dina are diminished, or a semi-rebound (can it actually be a rebound if there was never a romantic relationship to begin with?). But the reality is, the thing Becky had for Joyce wasn’t *there*. She wished it’d been for years, and never took the time to sort through the feelings fully because she struggles with confronting the parts of herself that are painful or in pain.
But the thing she has with Dina *was and is real.*
The next step is up to Becky to realize it, and to realize the difference between what she built with Dina with a crush on her best friend that didn’t pan out.
Laura
I guess I’m confused, because it appears that I see relationships and marriage differently from most of the people here.
…I thought marriage is supposed to be all about finding a way to be happy with what you have. “Love the one you’re with.” “Love each other, warts and all.” “You’ll grow to love each other over time.” “Settle for settling down.” And all those platitudes.
…I mean, am I wrong? It seems that committing to take care of one another long-term is much more important than being #1 for each other.
…Maybe that’s just my own skewed viewpoint, though?
Doopyboop
I think for some people, the idea of committing to one another long term goes hand in hand with being #1 for that person. I’ll freely admit I’m biromantic, sex-repulsed asexual and it has been… about a decade since my last relationship so I know my own values and wants in a relationship are different from your typical allosexual. If I was dating someone and they were hung up on someone else, I would probably still be with them… so long as being hung up on that other person obviously doesn’t include cheating. Otherwise, if they’re like “I’m still bummed this person I loved didn’t feel the same as me” and I love them enough to date them, I’m just gonna be like “yeah babe, sorry that happened. How about we go on a date and take your mind off things”.
Doopyboop
If they work together, things can be BETTER than the way they were before.
embe13
exactly!
Nono
And thus Dina decides to go into a filmmaking career.
Astariel
Last panel Dina is spot on.
I would be tickled pink if Joyce’s intervention actually works and Dina and Becky get back together. Unfortunately, I suspect that Becky and her internalized self-loathing will be a bigger obstacle to that happening.
It’s also interesting how Joyce’s language is echoing what Joe told her about her and Dorothy, that he wanted her to have the things that she wanted. I wonder if Joe will add anything before we cut away.
Sirksome
I do not like or trust this message from Joyce.
Slartibeast Button, BIA
So instead of getting Becky back, President Keener will institute the Prehistoric Fauna Accuracy Authority.
Dot
It is so fucking stupid that this worked, I’m sorry. Joyce spewed a whole bunch of bullshit and it was supposed to be an actual powerful moment? Come on.
dinerkinetic
yeah, it’s narratively unsatisfying + doesn’t really make a lot of sense
Dot
“Be selfish! Have what you want!” is not a strong direction to take this conflict that is fundamentally about Becky’s hangups and baggage, and it would be far more interesting and engaging to focus on exploring and resolving those instead of whatever the fuck this is.
embe13
but this may be the best way to get to that meat on the bone that is beckys trauma and issue. it all makes sense to me, the way joyce processes these thoughts, very on point for those in my adhd circle
RexLatro
And does Dina *want* to be Becky’s silver medal? Like, this is pretty shitty advice from the woman who’s entire experience with relationships involves pressuring a gay man back into the closet, attempting to get a man to cheat on his girlfriend, and cheating on her boyfriend a few days ago (has it been two or just the one day since August now? I’ve…lost track) while talking about being selfish and chasing what you want with him *still in the room*
*Meanwhile, Joe on the other side of the room wondering if he was ever actually something she wanted*
Grimey
I am willing to go out on a limb and assume every single person Joyce has ever shown interest in was someone she wanted *at the time*.
Dorothy is…Your Mileage May Vary just because the awareness that Dorothy was on the table did not make itself present until their Paramore moment. Longing. Panging. Subconsciously negging Walky to Dorothy every step of the way of their relationship without any other reason besides ‘he’s a dumb’.
Sirksome
I feel like the sentiment does work but only if completely divorced from the context of Becky and Dina’s last interaction which in fairness Joyce is not aware of.
Theozilla
Yeah, it feels like it’s implicitly saying that for Dina to be happy she should compromise on her own dignity, which is kinda at odds with the “be selfish (in a good way)” message.
Coatl
Don’t forget what she told Raidah:
“I am the best version of myself.”
Corey C.
I remember. She deserves a medal!
Switchchris
This comic is called Dumbing of Age, its not about people making the smartest choices or the choices that even make sense every time.
I do see why Joyce thinks this will work, because so far it has worked out for her, she did the thing she has wanted to do for ages without fully understanding it and it has so far worked out and she is happy, so why not tell others to do that to if they want to be happy.
Cameron Stone
Is it being called “Dumbing of Age” absolve it from all criticisms or just the ones you don’t like?
clif
Oh, absolutely. It’s a similar phenomenon to AmaziGirl being immune to criticism.
Coatl
The fact that all of that worked for Joyce doesn’t guarantee it will work for Dina, and yes, this is Dumbing of Age, it’s obvious that nobody here is exempt from being a fool, but there are some who take it to the extreme.
apocryphascribe
People only ever bring up this “it’s called Dumbing of Age” or “it’s not called Smarting of Age” when it’s a knee jerk defense to criticism over narrative beats like this. It’s practically a thought-terminating cliche at this point.
clif
See how well it works?
Adept
I’m really disapointted as well if this works. What even is happening here.
Joyce is spouting some post-fundie nonsense, and it’s somehow convincing Dina she should go back to Becky? What’s next, a ”greed is good” spiel from Wolf of Wallstreet?
HueSatLight
hoping Joe has something better to say to Dina, and that he listens to himself saying it.
EpochFlame
this interaction went much better than expected
Quinn
Agreed. I was expecting a disaster, but that can still come if Joe is still there overhearing this. She said out loud she won’t dump Dorothy and had a whole speech that one should be a little selfish. Do they need that talk after hearing all this?
embe13
yes because all this is things joe already knew. joe was 100% willing to share in whatever part of joyces heart she can make available for him.
Ray
(meta text)
“Cos precious and few are the moments we two can share…”
QueenofSodor
i like what joyce is saying here but i’m gonna say something very unpopular which is that i hope this doesn’t work and the lizbians stay broken up, bc like. sure there’s the issue of “becky considers dina second place” but there’s also the whole “dina dropped becky like a sack of rocks the moment she started having a mental health crisis over this new joyce development” thing? which i don’t think i’ve seen anyone talk about here??? like for both of them i feel like it’s a bit rough to imagine them getting back together after this
(plus i think it’d be more interesting to see them go their separate ways bc i want to see becky have a slut era. she deserves to have all the lesbian sex!)
Doopyboop
I do agree Dina not being there for her girlfriend during a mental health crisis strikes bad for me and when I brought it up in the comments I got a lot of “you aren’t your partner’s therapist” and “Dina doesn’t owe that to Becky” responses which are. concerning. Like obviously there’s a point where things get unhealthy and someone becomes an emotional vampire. I’ve experienced that. However, if someone I love goes through a mental health crisis, I’m there for them. No question. Yeah, I’ve lost hours of sleep due to it and gone to work the next day exhausted but being a bit tired is a small price to pay to know that those I love are alive and feel supported. I know that’s not for everyone, it’s a personal choice. But it’s also a big part of loving someone too.
Nono
It depends on how often they’ve had this conversation. Probably not that often. But there probably is a tipping point of how often you can manage that issue if it’s persistent and the other person isn’t getting better.
I guess I’m thinking of Elliot and Clinton at QC. Elliot had mental health issues but never got help for it, and it wore down to the point that even if you care about someone, you can’t assuage their problems if you’re the only one putting in the work.
Doopyboop
For Becky and Dina, this particular thing is kind of a first time issue? Like Becky’s been jealous and protective, which Dina has responded to by saying she finds Becky’s jealous reassuring (which isn’t the healthiest response in the world I grant you but that’s their life I suppose). And as with anything, it always depends on the nature of what someone is going through. Like, if someone is in an abusive situation and you’re trying to support them as a friend, and things just aren’t getting better, what does one do? Continue to support their friend? Maybe set up healthy boundaries while offering alternatives to help the friend still? Or just say “man this is just too hard, bye bye”. It’s up to each individual to decide what to do and I think it depends on what choice someone picks that helps them sleep at night.
Yumi
I’m with you. I was also bothered by Dina going after Becky while Becky was in crisis and pushing on the issue. I get she was hurt in that moment, but I really wish she had gone to someone else if she wasn’t in a place to support Becky.
embe13
to answer your question, becky while in a crisis also told dina they were done and walked away. i do not believe dina would have been able in that moment to have becky accept any attempt to support her through that moment, because on beckys head it would be torture for dina to do that when she has just dumped her.
Doopyboop
If I’m remembering right, Becky didn’t say they were done and then walked away. She said “I shouldn’t talk about this right now” and then walked away. It was when Dina approached Becky afterwards in her room that Becky responded by saying “If you’re going to leave me, just do it” and “I’m the problem”. Dina agreed that Becky was the problem and then walked away, effectively doing the maybe-dumping. Sidenote but I hate how when you reply to a comment now, the comment you reply to gets smooshed into an unreadable single file letter formation that makes it difficult to look back on what one is responding to.
Dark_T_Zeratul
She didn’t tell Dina “we’re done”, actually. She said “if you’re gonna leave me, just do it” and “the problem is me.”
Thing 2
In what way is saying “If you are going to leave me, just do it” Becky dumping Dina?
Interested in either your logic or something I missed.
embe13
i did misremberthe 2 interactions as one so my bad there, but becky did not give dina the oppourtunity to really respond. i was really (poorly i admit) wanting to counter the “dina dropped becky like a sack of rocks” because that did not happen.
—–
1000% agree bout the comment you are replying to geting smushed, i also am experiencing the text of my previouos comment still being i the comment window and having to delete it
Jay
Joyce the relationship guru as well.
Flawless
Yotomoe
Why did this work? Why is Joyce the one saying it. What even is this?
Coatl
It seems they want us to believe that Joyce is wise, obviously not
embe13
joyce is saying it because joyce knows that this is the best way to try to get dina and becky back together, this isnt an attempt to show joyce as wise but that joyce like so many of us can and do a good job supporting others without necessarily fully understanding or knowign what we are doing, and satan help anyof us when it comes to applying said support to ourselves
Thing 2
Humour
NGPZ
This is gonna blow up in her face, I’m almost certain 👀
Jay
Because she’s the *main character*
Don’t you get it.
StClair
God will make sure that everything works out.
For Joyce.
(And by “God” I mean Willis, of course.)
Doctor_Who
The day a Jurassic World movie features the correct amount of feathers, Becky is getting dumped.
Luckily that will never happen.
IntangibleMatter
–timeskip–
“Wow, Dina, how did you completely reform hollywood’s portrayals of Dinosaurs?”
“My girlfriend and I broke up.”
Taffy
I wonder what Becky wants.
embe13
only way to find out is to talk to her.
Taffy
No, she’s not real. I can’t talk to Becky in any meaningful way. I can keep reading this story to see what Willis has written her to want, though.
embe13
shoot and here i was hoping willis would do an AMA as becky! :(
DiDi
Just… *have* the things you want. Question nothing.
Hell, why not? So far, Joyce and Dorothy haven’t faced any real damaging consequences. (Despite her saying she threw away a lot of things for the relationship.)
Sarah is disappointed but Joyce clearly doesn’t care. And I think Sarah is mostly reluctantly accepting since she talked to Joe and knows that he’s aware of the situation so she’s minding her business now.
Walky is a little irritated at Joyce but she definitely doesn’t care about that and Dorothy hasn’t seen him since the break up so who knows about that… Plus now that he’s distracted with Amber, it probably won’t matter anyway.
So sure… it makes perfectly logical sense that this train of thought is where her logic took her.
I still want to burn things.
Cameron Stone
If Willis wanted to write a cheating arc then maybe they should have written on instead of just cutting Joe and Joyce’s relationship short to fast track her relationship with Dorothy in a very unsatisfying way.
Ado
Interesting. I overthought what Joyce’s message would be. This makes more sense. This is what Joyce would say.
How Dina chooses to interpret it and run with it (or not) will be interesting.
I really like where this drama is going. Joyce saw two paths of sacrifice for herself – sacrifice her lust for Dorothy and lesbianism, or sacrifice her self-image as a goodgirl who would never be so selfish to hurt her friends while chasing that. She picked one, and (in the current honeymoon period, so far) is okay with shedding that part of her self. She picked the “be active in choosing the life I want” path of sacrifice versus the “accept my current unhappiness” path of sacrifice, and (so far) likes the trade, which is why it’d make so much sense for her to advise that to Dina.
What Joyce isn’t getting is that Dina’s sacrifice matrix isn’t quite the same. Dina didn’t (primarily, at least?) end up here out of repression. There’s a lot of ways Dina could take this in a way that really sets up interesting exploration of Dina. Most obviously, Dina might sacrifice her dignity to go back with Becky. That seems like a bad thing, but she might also reduce her need for the people around her to see her the right way, reduce the need for the people around her to be correct, to have a type of “loosening up” that comes from an internal wellspring of confidence, which could be good. Alternatively, she could interpret this to mean “figure out a way to make it work,” and demand Becky work towards seeing her as the #1, which I alluded to yesterday.
Alternatively er, Dina’s intense reaction in panel 3 suggests that she has work to do in being kind to herself, for that message to really leave an impact like that. Especially with her framing of “allowing” that to be. Maybe she sees her preservation of dignity as a *duty* in an overly detached “meeting psychological objectives” way versus connecting with her emotions and desires. That’s another interesting road for development.
I wasn’t super on board with DoJoy in the story for a bit, but now I’m really starting to appreciate how the shakeup has created room for development in the cast for many characters and storylines.
Ado
I really would have liked for the line breaks in my post to make it through for readability. Oh well!
RassilonTDavros
I recommend putting three dashes where you would otherwise put the line break, the system will convert them into a line across the column instead of erasing it.
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Like so! Not perfect by any means but it at least puts some sort of space between paragraphs.
Ado
Tremendously helpful.
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Thanks!
Sirksome
I got a question for this. When was Joyce unhappy? Was she unhappy with Joe? It didn’t really seem like it. To me it seemed like less of a sacrifice and more like trying to have her cake and eat it too. Specifically having a really gay pining session before going to straddle and makeout with your then boyfriend before having a romantic date and a night of handy pleasure. Then trying to have a mutual masterba- I mean “do laundry” with your bestie before actually just cheating with her that same day.
Ado