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NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! 🤯
www.theguardian.com/science/2025...
Patrick Willems @patrickhwillems.bsky.social ⋅ 1m
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️𝓝𝓪𝓷𝓲 
*enter Lucy*
Well, at least Amber wasn’t changed from a role model to young girls to a scantily-clad, completely lust-driven woman who knows not the meaning of true love. There is that.
Re: “scantily-clad, completely lust-driven woman who knows not the meaning of true love.” You say that like it is a bad thing.
-_-
Starfire?
Yeah. I feel ya. *brofist*
I don’t really follow the comics much but I came across the artwork of her before and heard of her from a friend who was fan of those comics, and then what she got turned into. I couldn’t help but sigh and shake my head sadly at the changes.
Literally none of those necessarily means she’s a bad role model. A person can simultaneously be scantily-clad and morally upright, not matter what Joyce might say otherwise. I have no idea what specifically you’re referring to, but based on your words…
They’re referring to the DC character Starfire. I haven’t read the relevant series, but from my understanding, the objection to her (and similar characters) is when “completely lust-driven woman who knows not the meaning of true love” is her entire personality, and when she’s scantily-clad in a blatant attempt to appeal to presumed male heterosexual readers rather than for any story reason.
http://www.shortpacked.com/2011/comic/book-13/04-remedial-adulthood/math/ may help
Thank you, that totally helped. I was lost for a moment there.
*whispers* BEAST BOY WAS THE BEST.
You do know that her costume has always been revealing right? The real problem is that they’re only concerned about what male readers want…not what Starfire wants. You could say that about most female superheroes…a lot of writers are jerks like that.
No, there was one point where Starfire was in a costume resembling a jumpsuit. I don’t think that lasted long though. (Also, why was that name not yet in my dictionary? I can spell it, and I’m usually reliant on auto correct for even spelling auto correct!
Obviously this is years late but starfire was always a scantily clad liberated character, she was changed for the TEEN TITANS cartoon not the other way around.
Y’mean Jade Harley?
Now Kiss <3
double points for the matching icon.
Now fuck <3
Amber’s basically just Joe.
Except she probably sleeps with less people.
Oh Amber, that’s basically most people these days.
I see we’re taking the “New 52” approach to Amber’s origin story.
No, this doesn’t suck rotten eggs.
Now, now, not all of the revamped origins were terrible. For example, there’s…there’s…oh, right, there’s…uhhhhhhhh…
Batgirl’s awesome. Just saying.
Ugh, no. Batgirl is one of the worst offenders of the New 52 in general.
Not entirely. I see no slutty clothing on this Amber
Seeing slutty clothing on people would be a great superpower.
I get superpowers every Halloween!
It’s called Balantism. An accompanying disease is Liefeldism, where you see women’s spines defying the laws of physics, men with highly exaggerated musculature, angry faces, and terrible hair, and gigantic shoudler pads on EVERYONE.
You’re clearly not wearing your Faz-o-Vision Goggles. Here, let Faz apply them to your eyes for you so that you can better take in the beauty of the one who will bear Faz’s many glorious and Faz-like children should this continuity gift Faz with a divergent yet still fantastical in all ways genetic ancestry.
This Faz is most likely not related to Amber so our Fazlings will be completely sanctimonious under God, who loves Faz slightly more than others.
You say that like it was the incest that stopped Faz. He /apologized/ to Wen for burning that thing, remember? Oh, no. He forgave her for NOT TELLING HIM ABOUT THEIR DAD. *Shudders*
That said, perfectly in-character in all other ways. Were you checking ibuyextradomainscuzihavenopenis.com beforehand to get that extra level of Fazzyness, or are you just naturally gifted with the voice of Faz?
Either way, I’m gonna back away from you now. Faz is contagious.
Just because he still fucked the pillow doesn’t mean he was pursuing her in real life.
Don’t call it “slutty”. And it’s fiction…of course everything wouldn’t be realistic. Someone with super-strength would break their own arm in real life.
She carries her Beast Wars toys around with her, just in case she wants to make them kiss? That’s adorable.
You don’t?
I know what the tags say, but im looking at the color scheme just seems like that toy is tarantulas. Silverbolt/tarantulas OTP
Well, it’s a good thing I read the tags below the comic, because I was wondering why she had Tarantulus and Waspinator kiss.
I thought it’s Waspinator and Rampage, for some weird reason.
Hey, I was raised by TV and mangas when I was growing up. We only get the internet when I was 15.
So apparently Blaine is still kind of a dick in this universe because he apparently walked out on Amber as a kid but he’s less of a dick than he was in the Shortpacked influence because at least he didn’t stick around and inflict his toxic influence on her?
Looks like it.
So Amber just carries around a Silverbolt and Blackarachnia at all times for funsies? I am ok with this
I approve of this.
She’s a robosexual.
Hey, at least she’s not hobosexual. Unless the hobo in question is Phoenix Wright.
or a Pogosexual. That’s not the intended use for those sticks.
Or Hemosexual. Whatever it is that you think, blood does not make it sexy.
Or Todosexual. As much as you like The Wizard of Oz…that’s creepy.
Or rotosexual…just no
Whats wrong with getting excited over farm implements?
Wait, you don’t mean … ewww …. how … isn’t that dangerous …. *backs away*
I like to think the Beast Wars toys came with the muffin and that they go to the BEST COLLEGE EVER.
It’s like Mcdonald’s toys for nerds…and college kids.
If there was a college like that, you could be damned sure Joe would be going to it. Hell, he’d probably have founded it.
If there’s two transformers who can transform into ships whom you ship do you still call it shipping?
Yo, dawg, I heard you like shipping…
You heard correctly, my dear man.
Yes, the people who deliver those transformers to your local store still call it shipping. And nobody ships transformers together like those guys do. Forget OTP; these guys ship transformers together in groups of twenty!
Oh MY!
And don’t forget the ones that deliver them from overseas! They ship so many you need a giant cargo boat to fit ’em all!
I was raised on TV and libary books, the only reason I wasn’t raised on the internets was cos it didn’t exist yet.
Yep and then the internet showed up when I was about 11 and then by age 13 it was all Buffy fanfic all the time.
As stated before, I was raised by TV(where I learn how to speak English), books and mangas(specifically, Dragon Ball, Dragon Quest and Fist of the North Star)
I was raised by cartoons, sprite comics, Sonic the Hedgehog and Kirby. But not literally…that’d be kick ass.
That’s how I’m going to raise my kid, by watching TV with him and introducing him to the awesomeness that is Dragon Ball. Yes, I am a Dragon Ball fanboy.
I’m gonna raise my kid on the edge of a cliff towering over hundreds of African Animals who will bow when they realize indeed, my son, is the heir to become the king of beasts.
Whatever you do, don’t let your kid near your brother, especially if he has a scar or he sounds like Jeremy Irons.
If I had a kid who sounded like Jeremy Irons, I’d pretty much show him off to everyone I met.
I enjoyed the first few seasons, then it started to get silly. When it took four episodes to finish powering up, I stopped watching.
GT man. Filler’s been cut, episodes condensed, more action for less constipation.
You’re thinking of Dragon Ball Z Kai. Trust me, do NOT watch GT, it is TERRIBLE.
At least her shitty dad wasn’t there to emotionally abuse her.
Who’s saying he isn’t?
No one said isn’t, Viv said wasn’t as in her childhood.
“I’m much better at hiding it” Amber said, returning her Transformers back to her pockets where she kept them at all times.
I don’t believe you’re good at hiding things if you subconciousely do it in public places.
Unless you’re doing it in your head like I do.
Now you just know that Blackarachnia is just gonna dump Silverbolt for some Korean transformer as soon as they have a lil’transformer of their own…uh, I mean, awwww, Amber, I am sorry to hear that
“I was a pretty different person growing up” can be taken so many ways.
It can be taken as being different from here peers.
And it can be taken in the way the fandom will inevitably take it.
I feel like Armada toys would make this a lot more plausible.
But that’s me.
Beast Wars ran on Fox Kids when Amber was 6.
Hey, I’m just going by personal experiences: there’s fan girls out there who had Beast Wars as their gateway, but I never saw them as much as I saw Armada fan girls.
Also I hope you’re not implying she’s six in that flashback: I’m assuming you’re not. If you’re going to discover the marvelous world of robot kissing, I could see between ages 10-14, but six is pushing it.
Six is pushing what, exactly? Six year olds know what kissing is, robot-related or not.
I’m just going by my personal experience with fan girls: granted, there’s always going to be unique cases, I guess, but Amber isn’t exactly what I’ve seen from any fan girl I’ve known: one fan girl of Nos4-A2 from Buzz Lightyear discovered him when she was ten, and that’s the youngest case I know.
Just seems like six is a little early to have the experience that’s going to make you a nerd for the rest of your life, but that is, once again, just me. The day I meet or hear of someone who had one at that age, author excluded, i guess, I will eat crow quite happily.
Oh, and when I was six, my local PBS station started airing episodes of Doctor Who right before Reading Rainbow. I made a fort of couch cushions and declared it to be my Tardis, called my dog K-9 for a month, and asked my mom to please get me some Jelly Babies, whatever those were.
Almost 22 years later I have this as my username and gravatar. Never got to try a Jelly Baby until adulthood, though. They don’t sell them ’round here.
I kind of wish PBS aired Dr.Who here, but alas.
Still, I’m glad I don’t care for the same things I did when I was six, or I’d still be obsessed with He-Man and Thundercats. No thank you.
And when I was eight? The Super Mario Bros. Super Show.
I was a pretty dumb kid.
Thanks for saving many tastes, Batman: TAS! But more Beast Wars and Frekazoid, really.
Hey Super Mario Bros. Super Show was awesome. In an extremely cheesy goofy way.
But I like Power Rangers and Sonic so what do I know.
I agree, for me it was Blackstar, and before that, thunderbirds and Ultraman. What? I lived in remote Alberta and we didn’t have cable, were were at the mercy of CBC and CTV, that’s where I developed my hatred of the old Hercules, Spiderman and Rocket Robin Hood cartoons.
Six is pushing it because, well, take a look at that picture of her. She possesses certain “endowments” that a sic year old lacks.
She matures early?
She’s not six in the flashback. She’s 13.
Just the right age to own the Rhino DVDs then, if my math is right.
Yup.
Of course, as time marches on and Amber doesn’t age, there’s always Netflix.
I’d say 6 is pushing it because of boobs.
But, again, that’s just me.
I should note said people I know who had Beast Wars as their gateway are all in their late 20s at the earliest. Like Wayward, for instance.
You make me feel old, Willis.
/28 in less than a week, goddamnit
//Watched BW throughout Jr. High
Get off my lawn – I watched G1.
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Beast Wars technically is G1.
That’s debatable. It doesn’t help that there are several different mutually incompatible versions of G1 (though I was clearly referring to the cartoon), and Beast Wars is merely broad-strokes compatible with all of them somewhat. (Considerably lesssomewhat if you consider Beast Machines to be in-continuity with Beast Wars; BM is *not* compatible with G1 – certainly not the cartoon, and I think not any version.)
Huh. Imagine that there’s a space between “less” and “somewhat, and that the italics stops there.
I had no problem interacting with other people in school: I didn’t.
I remember when I started high school, and I sat alone (usually reading) on a bench during lunch and recess. One day one of the teachers came over and basically forced me into a random group of people who I had to hang out with for that lunch.
Later that day I discovered there was a public library on school grounds, so this story has a happy ending.
Is it just me or does Amber in panel 3 looks adorable?
I was just about to ask why Blackarachnia looks like Tarantulus, but apparently the toy was actually like that. Huh.
The more things change…
I was raised by wolves….arf arf
Aside from her glasses she looks like she did in Shortpacked when she was first introduced.
This is awesome, it wasn’t that long ago I was wondering if we’d ever see old Amber in a flashback in DOA
Clearly, Amber needs to introduce Dina to Dinobot.
It amuses me that individual Transformers figures get their own character tags.
I’m glad for those tags, I thought that was Waspinator and Tarantulas she was snogging
Given how shipping works, entirely plausible.
Oh, thank goodness I’m not the only one…
You Know what’s great I’m going on 22 and I didn’t watch Beast Wars until Shout! Factory released season 1 on DVD.
Does Amber appear thinner in general in DoA to anyone else?
That’s what maturity means. Being able to hide it.
After watching Big Bang Theory for a few years I finally realized that I was pretty much Sheldon as a kid, perhaps through high school as well. Eventually I learned to fake social interaction when necessary, and to at least not disdain it the rest of the time. Not out loud, anyway.
<3 for the old hairstyle :3
David, did you just forget to downsize the comic today? It looks choppy from being downscaled from its native 4800×1600 (which I found by right-clicking the comic and selecting “View Image”).
I downsized the comic about 22 hours ago. Your cache is weird!
Guess I needed to empty it out anyway… but yeah, once that’s done, it’s as it should be.
It’s an odd combination of pride and shame that, from my google reader, with no knowledge of the tags, I was able to identify Silverbolt and Black Arachnia in panel 3. Now Kiss.
Tarantulas and Waspinator?
How little? How old was she during the Gas Station Incident?
I like that she has her original Shortpacked! hair in the flashback. Little things like that are what make this comic.