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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
![They were a controversial fashion and faced criticism from several quarters. In 1368, Charles V of France issued an edict banning their construction and use in Paris. An English poem from 1388 complained that men were unable to kneel in prayer because their toes were too long.[37] The c. 1440 morality play Castle of Perseverance includes the footwear in the](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cyyd366g3hrxp5rynixm2mm3/bafkreidl74nt4ljn32kjdkqloikhmeutkjvpjt3ehqhfmnxr75vkey2eue@jpeg)
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 9m
Kendra, regular version @kendrawcandraw.bsky.social ⋅ 4d
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This can’t go well.
I’m waiting for somethin’ to blow up.
Comment section blow up in 3… 2… 1…
Your countdown was late. Or the bomb went off early.
Somebody set us up the bomb
The grammar it hurts. The reference, I do not get!
Oops. I had it done wrong anyways. it’s set up us the bomb, not set us up the bomb
Main screen turn on.
Take off all Sals.
All your Dannys are belong to us. (Dannies?)
You have no chance to survive make your time.
Ha ha ha ha….
Take off every zig.
I never thought Zero Wing references would make me nostalgic.
HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN.
That amazing moment when you remember the “ha”s are PART OF THE REFERENCE AHAHAHAHAHA
It’s a reference to a song, based on a poorly translated game, calledAll Your Base are Belong to Us.
It is worth noting that I have not linked to the normal version of the song. In fact, the two share almost nothing but lyrics…
I clicked your link before reading your second paragraph. I was expecting the link to go here.
It’s worth also pointing out (I guess) that the bad engrish was only on the europe-only megadrive version. The arcade version doesn’t have it. Also, the song originally appeared on Something Awful and the people that did it released about an album’s worth of pretty decent material under the name “The Laziest Men on Mars.”
The version I was thinking of is this one (albeit a very obscure version). http://dwellingofduels.net/dodarchive/05-0910-Free_Month/ZZ-Kadmium-Zero%20Wing-Make%20Your%20Time-DoD.mp3
Here’s the original bad dub of the game intro.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfwqvUPIRkg
The bomb set us up to believe that the bomb would not go off early?
Does that make this a Thanatos Gambit?
It was the best I could do…
You monster! Have you no decency?!
Well it is a common problem for bombs in this age. Nothin’ to be ashamed of.
Bombs blowing up intelligent, likable female characters after they try to sacrifice themselves and protect others from the blast is a common occurrence?
.. it was just slightly worse than everyone else’s average.
The countdown started before we even got here.
Does anything with Danny ever go well?
If you have to ask, you already know the answer.
Amber: talk to self
5 years later, they’re happily married.
Just like it didn’t happen in the original universe.
Well it sort of possibly happened in a different timeline.
Depends on if you consider Danny and Sal banging to be a thing that goes well.
They have been destined to be together for what, over 15 years now? About time that happened.
So far it’s gone better than I expected, actually.
[and so much for DON’T SPOIL IT FOR ME I WANNA FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF]
Figure *what* out? Skating?
okay, that didn’t parse well, did it
Danno: “NO SPOILARZ“
You think it can’t go well, huh?
Some of the meanest, hardest, toughest people just ever needed the slightest benefit of the doubt.
I guess we’ll see.
XD
Granted, when I was eighteen, I probably would have pulled a Danny much like this one.
That was last year for me…and I probably wouldn’t…I’m too self conscious and Sal is CLEARLY out of my league.
Every now and then, maybe once or twice a year, I try flirting with someone who is several orders of magnitude hotter than me.
My success rate may not be incredible, but it’s way better than it ought to be.
Don’t lie, Doctor. Your success rate is fantastic.
What is your secret man??? D8
That’s because the strategy is brilliant.
can’t win if you don’t play
Depends. Can you properly deliver a good curse? That might earn you a ride on her motorcycle.
If you know what I… or they… IF YOU KNOW WHAT IS INTENDED! >;D <— ANGRY WINKY FACE!!!
Leagues are for seas, and you ain’t in an ocean.
Sure he is, fish in the sea and all that.
He’s not a fish! He’s a human being!
I’m pretty sure that all the world’s a stage, and us people are mere actors.
Judging by this logic, Danny is either intended to mess up/succeed through adorable dan-ness or his ablibbing to get a chance with a hot babe.
Analogies!
Man, I’d still Dan it up now…
Nice gravatar for that
You’re Danning it up now! (Gavatar pic)
Why bother even wearing clothes at all?
Because she likes wearing those clothes?
McDonalds doesn’t serve you if you don’t got pants on.
I’ve tried.
They once served me without shoes. THE RULES ARE A LIE.
YOU CAN EVEN GO IN WITHOUT A SHIRT! (But you have to be “hot”.)
What if I’m on fire?
Nope, has to be a minimum of hellfire hot, sometimes they let it slide if it causes a fourth degree burn, though.
If you’re on fire they can’t catch you.
Ever tried to catch a man who’s on fire? Pretty hard.
Hence the movie “Catching Fire”.
(Insert CSI Reference here)
She has pants. Show me on the sign where it says “No pants (that fully cover your thong). No service.”
Very relevant gravatar here.
Oh god i love Sal so much more now and i don’t even know why.
Last panel?
Keeping a cig in her mouth just to look cool?
It’s what we do.
“S’not lit, but Ah’m wondrin’ if you are.”
Snot lit. Sorry, just setting my boogers on fire.
I knew someone who majored in Snot lit.
“Snot him!”
Danny, this might be the beginning of a beautiful, dysfunctional relationship.
Is there any other kind? In Willis land?
Nah, we’ve already been there with Danny x Sal in a Willisverse, it just died very quickly.
Not nearly dysfunctional enough, or nearly beautiful enough.
Or it could go completely the other way.
It could be the end of an ugly, functional relationship?
Wait… is tow why, this gonna go well? i don’t know why, but I’m getting this strange feeling that this is actually gonna go well.
I agree!
Or at least not as badly as some are expecting. I think the combination of Danny’s awkward candor and Sal’s cynical perceptiveness might make for some surprising chemistry, even if only in a platonic way.
“Hello Wonderinifyoulostabet. Is that a family name?”
My mom married into it. Her maiden name was “Yourfuckin’withmeright.”
To which my father replied, “Don’t mind if I do!”
The accent is a good disguise.
I’m sorry, but not even Sal can make the “underwear sticking up out of my pants look” look cool.
Wedgie-Chic.
I think it’s more of a “I-just-got-done-kickin’-someone’s-sorry-ass” look.
No, not cool, the opposite perhaps though.
(I’m saying she is hot)
Well, the way she’s wearing them now just makes it looks like she’s wearing a diaper or something. The “cool” way is to just have the thong straps showing above your pants, not the thong itself.
What are “things my grandmother would’ve said,” Alex?
I think it’s more ‘my pants have slipped down below my underwear’, though that’s just nitpicking. Regardless, you’re right in that it lacks a certain Gravitas.
Nice innuendo.
Completely Unexpected Plot Twist: This goes perfectly smoothly and both end up in a mutually happy relationship.
IMPOSSIBRU!
One based on mutual respect and admiration, with no dysfunction whatsoever.
Of course, having Walky over for dinner is awkward, since he brings Dorothy with him. But hey, who wouldn’t put aside old grievances when the president is a guest in your house!
Joe Wilson?
David Levinson
Plot twist! It’s President Walky!
I was hoping someone would suggest this.
They would have the cutest babies.
And their relationship wouldn’t even get so babies after they have the babies!
Which would be ironic since he’s unknowingly cheating on the girlfriend he unknowingly dumped because she wanted him to cheat on her with herself…
…Willis, you tryna beat out Avalon for twistiness??
Oh yeah! In my amazement at how the whole fan base suddenly shipped Danny and Sal around the world in 80 days, I *totally forgot* about Amber!
Makes perfect sense, first we have to get the ship going before pointing it toward the iceberg.
Got it.
Second unexpected plot twist: David Willis is a pseudonym of M. Night Shamalayan.
I’d buy that for a dollar!
A part of me wonders if she’d actually go for a guy like Danny.
It’s a really dumb part of me.
She went. For Jason.
Compared to him, Danny is The Fonz.
But Jason is actually charming in his uptight and self-righteousness, probably because he has that “classy British guy” thing going for him, whereas Danny i just kinda……… eeeeeeeegghhhhhh.
Yeah, but Danny is at least not Faz.
Just keep in mind, ladies…
Most of us guys are not Faz
*clicks tongue/Smile twinkle*
I am now picturing a version of Happy Days starring The Faz.
Picture it. Savor the image. Let it become part of your being.
And suddenly I’m rooting for the shark.
Can’t unsee….
Would they have to rename the show to Creepy Days then?
Fazzy Days.
The Great Faz is Happy!
Also:
-Finger pistol-
I suspect most girls would go for Jason over Danny. British accents are sexy.
And Jason was waaaay badass in the old continuity.
But compared to Danny, Jason is James Bond.
That Sal, such a cut-up that kid.
… You know what?
I’d ship it.
Not the strangest ship I’ve shipped, but a ship none the less
Is she seaworthy? I guess.
Enough people want to see it.
A lot of people went on the titanic as well
And how many are shipping just to see Danny’s self loathing when he realizes she’s NOT Amazi-girl.
That… actually went better than I thought it would.
We’re not done yet, Danny can still make this worse.
It’s only a matter of time, really.
Danny can’t make it BETTER. He’s DANNY.
You’re forgetting. This is Sal. Danny pretty much generated half of her positive character developments in the OU.
So you’re saying Sal’s betterness…
Will overpower the Dannyness that is Danny.
Sal had positive character development?
She hasn’t murdered a teammate or attempted global genocide in a while.
That we know of!
Plus, she tries to avoid the Waggling Finger of Shame from Jason.
Hmmm. I feel like they knew each other. In another life.
IN ANOTHER LIIIIIIFE
I WOULD MAKE YOU STAAAY
Oh my gosh. Parallel Sal is channeling her desire to stay with Danny! I ship it even more now.
Oh, Danny lost a bet, all right. He lost one long ago.
That’s why he’s Danny now.
He lost a bet to Joe in the 3rd grade that for the rest of his life he’ll always make the wrong decision.
Taking that bet was the first one.
I thought the bet in 3rd grade was that he had to leave that drawing on his fridge forever. Maybe he just ate too much paste when they were younger than that?
Lost a bet? What kind of wager makes you talk to an attractive girl when you lose? Where I come from when you lose a bet you have to hit on an ugly girl.
Lost a bet – because you are about to make a huge fool of yourself/get epically shot down.
It could be a foreshadowing statement more than anything.
Or imply that he is acting so awkward that he would have had to have lost a bet to act like that.
I admit, at that age I would have been no more smooth.
“Hit on the attractive girl who is totally going to shoot you down, then kick your ass, then laugh at you”?
Where I come from, I can’t hit on girls. I’m too shy. I’d cry.
That could work with some girls, you should try it.
She’s also picking up on the fact that his heart isn’t really in it. She’s narrowing her hypothesis space to “reasons this guy would be talking to me that don’t include him wanting to.”
Less funny, but also true, we know Sal has some self esteem issues. Maybe she thinks he’s out of her league.
Nah, she’d never admit to it if she did.
She doesn’t have issues so bad that she thinks Dan is some incredible catch that lost a bet and he is the one that has to do a slump buster for the team.
Her issues in DoA seem to be about her parents.
Sal is intimidating.
“Lost a bet? What kind of wager makes you talk to an attractive girl when you lose? Where I come from when you lose a bet you have to hit on an ugly girl.”
And this is precisely what my dad warned me about and why any time someone hit on me, I thought they were making fun of me. That’s terrible.
Which part is terrible?
That your dad warned you about this, meaning she called you ugly?
Or that guys do this?
Well both are terrible, really. I just hope your father didn’t call you a slump buster.
Both, really. In my comment I was meaning the guys who do this but yeah. Did a hell of a number on my esteem. He never outright called me ugly or anything, but did shit to undermine my confidence all the time. Only two years ago, he got me a hair straightener for Christmas so I’d “feel more confident” about my appearance. -_-
I wonder how long Sal will walk around campus like that before someone tells her to change…
It’s a state college campus. People used to go to class in their pajamas all the time when I was in school. Nobody cares.
I dunno about anyone else, but my pajamas cover me and my underwear up completely.
Not me. I sleep in my underpants.
At college age my pajamas in public would have lead to an indecent exposure charge.
Willis said that Sal doesn’t intend to go to class in her getup on Tumblr.
Isn’t this day supposed to be Sunday anyway?
Snot lit? Is this like the horrible mutant offspring of chick lit or something? Yikes that sounds awful… And why is she bringing it up in the first pl… oh that’s something else entirely okay.
*This has been stream of consciousness theater.*
Are those where you read snot tracts and chick tracts?
Damnit, I ship them now too.
In fact…
It may be fanart time.
do it
yotomoe I am forever waiting for your dumbiverse/walkyverse fanart
foreverrrr
I will gladly subscribe to your newsletter, Yotomoe.
Arghhhhh I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DRAW THO!!! My hatred of Danny has clearly extended to my ability to draw him.
Draw him down on one knee, with her hand to his lips…!
He should be tied up in only his pokemon boxers and she’s posing with a whip, full on dominatrix style.
NSFW
“Amazi-girl, you’re way more frisky than usual!
“Ah dun’ know what kinda Role playin’ yer doin’ but ah like it.”
Awesome!!
That is the cutest possible Sal! Woo!
Next strip:
“HE MADE THE FIRST MOVE! :D”
She looks like a Sal.
Shipping DANNY AND SAL? Perish the thought!
Holy crap she is cute.
Mary? Why do you look so much like Sarah?
Balls. That was supposed to be a reply.
I think this is a great first in counter ( hahahahah) OK so wonder if this conversation goes any where
Is he Danning so hard he’s succeeding? Like, he’s gone so far down the “failure” meter that it circled the globe and landed right into the “HUGE SUCCESS” territory?
No. He just got so lucky, he managed to leave Dan-land and entered mediocre-but-not-all-that-bad-land.
He’s still quite a bit away from Joehio but Darnit he’s trying!
I’m SAILING A-way….
No Sal, Yo don’t know Danny like we do!
If the author ships it, does that make it canon even if it isn’t?
I’d ship it. I’d ship that so damn hard!
RRRAAAAAAARRRRRGGGH!!! <–Shipping sounds
SHIPPING INTENSIFIES.
Then again, I’d ship Sal with a baked potato. And with Danny I basically am! Buh-dum tsst
That joke was half baked.
Just like Dan.
I’d ship Danny into the sun. Hell, I’d even pay the cost of freight.
im preety sure dan danning it up is just him danning things up
The fact that I didn’t put 2 and 2 together yesterday makes me feel like a complete moron.
How long until Danny reaches critical Danness? My money’s on less than a second.
You know, I’m actually quite particular to the thong/short shorts combination she’s wearing. Very street punk. I’d wear it if I wear a girl.
don’t wear girls they’ll put you in crazyjail
I can’t pull off a girl anyway. It just doesn’t go with my figure. And when I wear dudes it just makes me look FAT. Ugh…so hard to figure out what to wear nowadays.
It’s just so hard to pull of people these days, that’s why I started wearing cacti, they’re much more slimming and they have great protection against people you don’t like!
Have you tried using a crowbar?
You know… to pull off the girl?
But crazyjail is where they wear men! D:
how much dan could a danny dan dan if a damny dan could danny dan?
…I really hate whatever program powers this commenting platform right now.
…danny, I refuse to believe you’re anywhere near that stupid. please do not dissapoint me…
You have already been disappointed and you don’t even realize it. UoU
sadly, I realize. but a guy can hope…
I hope Danny fixes himself up. I feel sorry for him, even if he made some mistakes.
Sal enjoys a good metaphor.
[applauds you]
… Hmm, so far this is awkward, but not so awful it bursts into flames.
YOU CAN DO IT, DANNY! I BELIEVE IN YOU!
‘Cause I still believe in miracles
I swear I’ve seen a few
And the time will surely come
When you can see my point of view
I believe in second chances
And that’s why I believe in you
Though I do think the version here feels like it wasn’t touched by somebody who believes in all instruments playing at full volume all the time?
Danny stop, you’re gonna get slugged… Wait go right a head.
That civility is very considerate of you, Sal, thank you.
Okay, Danny, this is it. I am going to give you one last chance. You’re doing okay for now, but this is the last chance you will get from me before I completely give up on you.
DON’T DAN IT UP.
Five bucks ‘e does next panel.
Next comic he will cure cancer and aids, end all wars, and invent time travel
Drawing out the tension…
It’s a testament to how well Willis has built the Dumbing of Age universe that the idea of Danny and Sal seems off even after their history in the prior comics.
Honestly, Danny/Sal was pretty weird even in the Walkyverse.
I chalk it up to Sal being nutballs and valuing Danny for being the only person in the world who was too Danny to see that.
Although, until Billie happened, they were kinda intended to always end up together.
The sagging pants fashion never made sense to me, it just looks like a wardrobe malfunction in progress.
The worse thing is that sagging originated in prison where a prisoner pulls their pants part way down to show that they are ready for some buttsex with whomever wants it, in other works saggy pants = a (man)slut who’s begging for it.
Not a good thing for a ‘cool’ gal like Sal to emulate, unless…
I’m not sure where you got that information from.
What I understand is that saggy pants DID originate in prison, but it was because prisoners were not allowed belts since some of them would try to commit suicide
I googled for more info and it turns out I was wrong about sagging pants = wanting buttsex, but it’s still a lameass fashion to me.
Then it’s probably a good thing no one who’s ever worn their pants like that was attempting to impress you, huh?
+1
Besides, Sal’s more rocking the ‘insanely tight cutoffs’ look.
I was going to say, “those are some pants Sal”, but really they’re only half f some pants.
I think you need remedial fraction tutoring. Those aren’t even 1/2 a hotpants.
Would half a pair of pants be a single pant?
I’m sure someone would be panting.
Danny uses awkward introduction, Sal’s defense is reduced. Sal uses Foresight…but it failed!
I agree with Plasmamongoose on the fashion miss-statement. Sagging pants just look like pants that don’t fit, be it on a man or a woman.
Sal is hot, but that ‘outfit’ is not. Looks like she got dressed in the dark and accidently got somebody’s little sisters pants on.
As for the unlit cigarette, I knew someone who wandered around with one stuck in their face like that, for about a month, while trying to quit. It didn’t work.
As to Danny ‘not wanting’ to go talk to her’? Seems to me that is exactly what he does want to do. Even after he talked it over with himself and decided that there are too many discrepancies between the way Amazi-girl and Sal are built, talk, wear their hair, and ‘smell’.
He actually exhibited common sense for a minute, but then: with Billie’s help, his Dannyness took him over and off he went.
Sal appears to be just enough interested in what in the Hell he thinks he is doing, to venture a guess that he lost a bet and that is why he is there in front of her.
I DO NOT ship this. NO, please, pretty please, no. No?
Oh well. Slow train wreaks are interesting in some universes.
I suspect even Danny is not dense enough to believe she is Amazi-Girl for long. I like to believe he is still skeptical about that, as his seemed decidedly unsure about talking to her.
Screw the leggings, I’m curious as to how the shorts are staying on.
That’s not really that mysterious, they’re obviously quite tight, just ridiculously low cut.
She has ’em stapled to her hipbones.
Sal is hardcore.
Sal’s fine butt has authentic fabric magnetism
You mean “Won a bet”. ;D
Here we goooooo
Dumbass thy name is Danny, a Idiot by any other name would still be Danny, Danning of Age…Perhaps Dumbass should now be Dannass… Seriously the hair should be a huge clue this isn’t Amazi-Girl (For Amazi-girl is obviously Faz)
Amazi-girl is Faz? I thought it was Jacob in a wig.
Danny does better than I. I don’t have a lot of experience talking to women way out of my league.
…you know, he might be the dumbest invertebrate this side of the Grand Canyon but DAMN does that boy have nerve.
can’t tell if it’s nerves of steel, or just a brain of soft clay.
…you mean dumbest vertebrate, right? Like, I get that you’re saying he has no backbone, but that’s kinda directly contradicted by ‘nerves of steel’.
He’s spineless because he’s indecisive and paralyzed by self-doubt. He has nerve because once he chooses (or let’s be honest here, is pushed into) a course of action, he doesn’t flinch from following it where-ever it goes.
In other words, in the animal kingdom of DoA, Mr. Wilcox is our cockroach.
Sal’s going to score with the entire cast, isn’t she.
At the same time!
(Except for Walky, I would hope…)
Suddenly, the source of Sal’s mental problems becomes crystal clear.
I’m gonna just leave this here.
http://itswalky.com/d/20011214.html
“Ah just like having it in my mouth.”
…
0_0
No, see, in this strip David Willis is cleverly lampooning Groucho Marx. Sal is Marx.
(Danny’s response had to be cut to protect the T rating.)
THAT STRING! D:
*peeks between fingers*
Okay, this is not going as terribly as I worried . . . but the week is early yet.
Danny thinks it’s Amazing-Girl, but it’ s not.
I’m really tired of the ‘people confusing Amazi-Girl for someone else’ thing. Just… so, so tired of it. Good job, Danny. You’re really danning up your own life. FFS, they look /nothing alike/.
Sal’s entire outfit should be available in the store.
Who would have thought you could add suspense to stupidity?
probably the guys who wrote The Office
Anybody in the entertainment business ever?
X-Men: Origins: Roomies
Has it occurred to others that Danny knows that Sal isn’t Amazing girl but at this stage is thinking stuff it, I’ve screwed up all my other relationships, might just try again, what have I got to lose?
-Bem
With anyone else I might be inclined to think so…but that doesn’t sound like Danny.
No.
I’m going to pass up the cheap shot at Danny’s intelligence and perceptiveness and just point out that he seems to be expecting some kind of recognition from Sal here.
Meanwhile, I’m thinking that the Walkertons walk by unexpectedly to visit Walky, and Sal’s mom notices the outfit, but doesn’t realize that it is her daughter wearing it. And she gets scandalized and starts bongoing about how standards are sliding in school, and how Walky should never even meet that person. And later all three see Sal dressed like that, and she starts bongoing about it again, and Walky says “But that’s Sal.”
Not likely to happen…or is it?
After that last panel, I’ve decided that Sal’s leggings are staying in place because they’re actually attached to her short shorts, like skirt leggings.
…and the short shorts are only there because otherwise she’d be in a black bikini.
Her outfit makes so much more sense if she’s really just waiting for Marcie to show up so they can go swimming.
My guess is sock glue. Its all the rage in Japan.
DO IT WILLIS
Great page
It might go better than we think and Danny gently finds out that no walkies twin is not amzi-girl and then he starts to think its amber and wouldn’t that be cool
I’ve been thinking all evening that at some point Danny is going to start carrying around a mask and asking girls to put it on…
Ha, she likes having it in her mouth.