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Yeah, but you know a small part of a her is bitter. I mean, prom is supposed to be THE NIGHT of high school. Having that particular event punctuated by “its not you, it’s me, cause I like boy-bits” usually isn’t the kind of teenage memory most girls want to have.
I’ve been there and know how she feels (eight years liking the guy to find the same thing! To make matters worse it was a trusted secret @.@;;)….
I just think Amber is a good enough person to (eventually) let go of that bitterness and be happy for Ethan finally finding himself…its not an easy thing to accept nor a lifestyle that goes unpunished amongst ignorant (read: the majority of encountered) people.
Yeah, I was one the other end of the scenerio with my best friend. She had a crush on me and wanted to date, but the whole “we both enjoy a nice man” thing… Well, there was awkwardness.
Thankfully we never persued a relationship together, so when I came out, I think that might have helped soften the blow. It was less “you were using me to mask your sexuality” and more “well that explains A LOT!”
And I agree. Amber is no doubt a good enough person to move on. And I think she is happy for Ethan even now. But the embarrassment and rejection… It’s going to be awkward.
Oh gosh! I can only imagine how that went…sounds complicated…I’m so glad that you two were able to work it out and remain friends!
I totally admire you, you know *o*
I’m sometimes ashamed to be heterosexual because some “anti-gay” movements show more: heterosexuality = retarded. Homosexuality won’t start wars. Its not contagious. Its nothing to be ashamed of.
I grew up being treated as a cripple because of a disease I have, and it sickens me when people talk abuot homosexuals in general like they’ve got the plaugue. Its not fun for people WHO ARE SICK to be treated this way, let alone a perfectly healthy individual IN LOVE (so what if its with the same gender?).
I dunno, if there wasn’t -actually- an event in the hotel room after prom, and the person you’re speaking to wasn’t -actually- the person who had a very awkward moment in the hotel room after prom…. that seems like the sort of retort that could get turned around on you in a very bad way.
I hope not. Not everybody has to be paired off after all. Some platonic friendship would be a nice change of pace. Besides, Ethan being Ethan has always been a goldmine for Mike.
I could see them hooking up once or twice, but frankly, I don’t see them dating. Mike is much younger here than in the SP! universe so, he still has too much chaos to sew that he can’t be tied down by Ethan or Amber.
It doesn’t matter, because Faz is dead. He was masturbating frantically to his own underwear when he accidentally swallowed his tongue, causing him to fall out a 3rd story window naked, landing on a cactus, which made him run into the street where he was run over by a garbage truck. Some of the trash was actually toxic waste, and when it fell on him it caught fire. No one showed up at the funeral.
On the bright side, this universe’s Ethan was able to come out a lot earlier than SP! Ethan, so Amber did him a really big service in the long run, even if it was unfathomably awkward at the time
Well yeah, but think about this: if Amber’s dad isn’t such a giant toolbastard in this universe, then he probably never got involved with the korean mob meaning he never had an affair with a korean woman, thus Faz was never born!
That’s getting into some weird existential matters of the soul. Let’s just stick to the concrete. Mommy and Daddy never slept together, so you were never born.
Yeah in most cases where being gay is frowned upon by the school, the LGBT kids end up throwing their own proms in a basement or something.
My high school wasn’t even lucky enough to have a gay prom. Heck, we weren’t even allowed to have a LGBT club on campus grounds. Of course this was Nebraska in the mid-late 90’s, so I’m not surprised.
And I guess one of the problems we had was that we had no notably out homosexual students in my school except for myself, and even then only my close friends knew. But I’m very certain that had I tried to bring a boyfriend, the school wouldn’t have allowed it. And if not them… well the homophobic students would have taken issue. :,-(
My heart goes out to Amber- the same thing happened to me on my prom night. …okay, not quite the same thing, we thankfully never got as far as the hotel room, but still! Bad breaks, ladydude!
I can kinda see why Amber may have been avoiding the two of them.
It seems this Mike has a wider range of expression than Mike prime. I find this much more frightening than the smile he pulled after Amber slugged him.
You know, she seems a whole lot less “shattered self-esteem” in this universe. For example, SP! Amber (at least at the beginning) would never have reacted so strongly to Mike like that.
God did his mum in the FAAAACE!!! with his penis in the hotel room after prom, for a nickel?
Y’know, if the old testament wroth wroth smite smite-ness somehow got transferred to jesus!Mike, that’d explain a lot. The more relaxed attitude seen in the new testament, for example (though that could simply be from Him getting laid).
Nothing is ever awkward for Mike. Well, that one time. With the customer who just didn’t understand that Mike had banged the customer’s mom for a nickel.
But Amber, how can you snap at Mike? Getting pissy at him comments is like being pissed at a dog for licking itself. They going to do it whether you like it or not, so just learn to ignore it.
I’m impressed with Mike, it’s only day 3 of college and already he’s ruined somebody’s date, has got to wreck a lot of people’s self esteem, and now is reopening the old wounds of his friends, good show Mike
Really? I dunno… seems like he’s slack off a bit. I mean, he hasn’t even made he hasn’t even made some cry properly yet on panel. Maybe he’s just starting out slow and building up steam.
Indeed. There are plenty of unpleasant characters in this comic – more every time we turn around, it seems – but Mike is in a category all his own. He is an elemental force of bastardry.
That’s what I tend to like about Willis’s comics. Nobody is unflawed. Deep down (or sometimes, not so deep down,) everybody’s a jerk or a hypocrite about something. The trick to life is finding out how. Then using it. To your own advantage, or for the lulz.
Duh… Sorry about being a total idiot here, I read that as the kinsey scale rather than bechdel test and I completely forgot how storylines work in david willis’ comics.
Mike is important because he makes even the most unpleasant characters seem like decent people, *gasp* what if that’s the plan? giving all other characters a common person to view as an asshole? he’s like Batman, hes the hero this comic deserves, but not the one it needs
I just started reading this and the other Wally stuff like two days ago and it’s great so far. Also Dumbing of Age, which happens to be the first Wally comic I found, launched on my birthday so that only makes me more interested in it. Great work and keep it up.
But this makes no sense in relation to yesterday. If Mike already knows about it and Ethan already knows about it, who didn’t know what yet? Who doesn’t know what yet?!
On another note, Goddamnit! My PSL for the AmberMike pairing is sobbing.
today in #9chickweedlane i learned that "how to lie" is not, actually, achieved by cupping the balls, despite the evidence of the entirety of the first panel, but by some other giant pile of words i guess, tl;dr
“It’s not me who’s a bigot,” they always argue. “I’m fine with all you people. But the rest of the electorate is full of bigots, on whose behalf I will now speak”
The two greatest evils known to mankind, A.I. and the person directly in front of you in line at the post office, have finally teamed up. We’re done.
Frances “Poet Laureate of the Robot Alliance” Klein@fklein907.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
Woman in line in front of me at the post office is not happy about the cost of shipping. She just whipped out her phone, asked ChatGPT how much it thinks the shipping should cost, and is trying to get the mailman to honor that price.
OK democrats shutting down congress by attaching Epstein amendments to everything is pretty funny
Aaron Fritschner@fritschner.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
Politico & Punchbowl report House Republican leadership is shutting down the Rules Committee - which is essential for moving party-line bills on the floor - for the week rather than vote on Democratic amendments on the Epstein files.
Dems have effectively halted Republican legislation in the House:
Josh Johnson is brilliant and I’m happy for him and wish him the world
Josh Johnson@joshjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
This week, I’m hosting The Daily Show Tuesday through Thursday.
It’s my first time hosting anything on TV. Ever.
I’ve spent years writing behind the scenes, learning from truly great and talented people. Now, for three nights, I get to sit at the desk and do it myself.
I should write GI JOE.
I've never watched the cartoon but my favorite Joes are WhipDip, AcidWash, Nectarine Todd, Freddy the Fridge, Buttskull, Hawaiian Punch, WetEar, ToggleSwitch, BatGuano, RipFart, RanchFlavor, TallyTwang, BallSack, Cretinair, and PartyDip.
PartyDip was badass.
reminded of one of the greatest pieces of quantitative research ever to be undertaken – @ryannorth.ca's 2009 analysis of the number of letters U people use to spell "excuuuuuuuuuuuse me, princess"
full deets: qwantz.livejournal.com/112122.html
John Hyphen@johnhyphen.bsky.social ⋅ 5d
as far as i'm concerned there's only one "zelda movie" and it's this 1'45" right here
This shit makes me want to *scream*.
IT CANNOT SELF-REFLECT BECAUSE THERE IS NO SELF
IT IS NOT ACKNOWLEDGING ANYTHING
IT APOLOGISES FOR SHIT ALL THE TIME BECAUSE IT MAKES STUFF UP ALL THE FUCKING TIME
…..so did they do it or didn’t they? i’m tempted to go for the latter.
My guess is they tried, and ran into technical difficulties.
On account of Ethan technically being gay and all.
(Why do I suddenly feel like I’m channeling Mike with that joke?)
*Insert joke involving “channeling” and “your mom” here*
I inserted a joke into Your Mom.
Wait, that sounds bad for me.
I inserted myself into your mother…
With my penis.
So that’s why she’s gay now!
It sounds like you knocked up her mom.
Babies: The practical joke that keeps giving for 18 years.
I think you’ve mixed up “giving” and “taking”.
‘yaknow. Like Ethan.
*slowclap*
Word. This is Soooo Babies.
Everyone above this deserves One Free Internet. I have never laughed so hard in my life.
Wait, what? I thought I was reading DoA!
¬_¬
^_^
Next strip, Mike finds out he got herpes from your mom.
… for a nickle.
Which is pretty expensive. Usually you can get herpes for free
It’s dem’ fancy’ European herpes.
Awww, its ok, Ethan! You’re awesome no matter what orientation you are!
I’m sure Amber understands D:
Yeah, but you know a small part of a her is bitter. I mean, prom is supposed to be THE NIGHT of high school. Having that particular event punctuated by “its not you, it’s me, cause I like boy-bits” usually isn’t the kind of teenage memory most girls want to have.
v.v Yeah…thats true…and I don’t blame her.
I’ve been there and know how she feels (eight years liking the guy to find the same thing! To make matters worse it was a trusted secret @.@;;)….
I just think Amber is a good enough person to (eventually) let go of that bitterness and be happy for Ethan finally finding himself…its not an easy thing to accept nor a lifestyle that goes unpunished amongst ignorant (read: the majority of encountered) people.
Yeah, I was one the other end of the scenerio with my best friend. She had a crush on me and wanted to date, but the whole “we both enjoy a nice man” thing… Well, there was awkwardness.
Thankfully we never persued a relationship together, so when I came out, I think that might have helped soften the blow. It was less “you were using me to mask your sexuality” and more “well that explains A LOT!”
And I agree. Amber is no doubt a good enough person to move on. And I think she is happy for Ethan even now. But the embarrassment and rejection… It’s going to be awkward.
Oh gosh! I can only imagine how that went…sounds complicated…I’m so glad that you two were able to work it out and remain friends!
I totally admire you, you know *o*
I’m sometimes ashamed to be heterosexual because some “anti-gay” movements show more: heterosexuality = retarded. Homosexuality won’t start wars. Its not contagious. Its nothing to be ashamed of.
I grew up being treated as a cripple because of a disease I have, and it sickens me when people talk abuot homosexuals in general like they’ve got the plaugue. Its not fun for people WHO ARE SICK to be treated this way, let alone a perfectly healthy individual IN LOVE (so what if its with the same gender?).
Haha, but I do go on ^^;;
I am sorry, but this has not been said yet
She was going to do him in that hotel room
….with his penis
For a nickle
In the FAAAAAAAAAACE!
FATALITY
I like the Mike’s look in the 2nd to last panel ALMOST looks like legitimate concern.
Doh, *THAT. I need proofread better.
DoA Mike may be the most mindfucking incarnation of him yet.
What about mom-fucking?
That’s what dads and plumbers are for, silly.
And Mike. No exceptions.
Mike seems to know a lot about what happened. Was he there?
Maybe in the next room over, with HIS prom date, Your Mom.
Man, “just like in the hotel room after prom” just became my go-to reply if anyone says “this is awkward” now.
I dunno, if there wasn’t -actually- an event in the hotel room after prom, and the person you’re speaking to wasn’t -actually- the person who had a very awkward moment in the hotel room after prom…. that seems like the sort of retort that could get turned around on you in a very bad way.
The trick is not to care.
This and the fact that I personally have managed to turn just about anything into a “just like prom night” joke.
In light of this strip, I stand by the Mike And Ethan Are Bangin’ In The Dumbiverse Theory.
I hope not. Not everybody has to be paired off after all. Some platonic friendship would be a nice change of pace. Besides, Ethan being Ethan has always been a goldmine for Mike.
Everybody has to be paired off. Every single person. No exceptions.
This being said, Ethan can’t be paired with Mike, because he’s already paired with your mom and a nickel. Got a little threesome going there.
It makes sense, even the cartoonist got hitched… traka tum kash!
I second this theory. Actually…I think I stated it in the past…must…check…archives…
I could see them hooking up once or twice, but frankly, I don’t see them dating. Mike is much younger here than in the SP! universe so, he still has too much chaos to sew that he can’t be tied down by Ethan or Amber.
Yeah, why would Amber NOT want to make more time for these guys? Her life is so much fuller now than it was this morning.
Just like in the hotel room after prom.
Your Mom was full in the hote-
Y’know what, skip it. I’ve had one obvious joke too many. For a nickel.
Just like your mom?
Like the hotel room after prom in that in both cases “fuller” means “emptier”. Particularly with regards to Amber.
well THAT was unexpected
Woah woah woah, is the Amber/Faz Half-Brother/Sister thing still real in this universe?
It doesn’t matter, because Faz is dead. He was masturbating frantically to his own underwear when he accidentally swallowed his tongue, causing him to fall out a 3rd story window naked, landing on a cactus, which made him run into the street where he was run over by a garbage truck. Some of the trash was actually toxic waste, and when it fell on him it caught fire. No one showed up at the funeral.
Until he returned two seasons later, having gained superpowers from the toxic waste.
Faz is the Toxic Avenger now? CRIKEY!
We’ll have to wait until the Toxic Avenger vs. Amazi-Girl story arc to find out :P.
This comment is made all the more hilarious by the fact that
**********SPOILER ALERT FOR ARCHIVE BINGE-ERS**********
****************************************************
****************************************************
****************************************************
Faz actually shows up later, with Amber’s dickhead dad. Now, I’m going to re-read those scenes imagining that Faz is a zombie.
Awesome.
On the bright side, this universe’s Ethan was able to come out a lot earlier than SP! Ethan, so Amber did him a really big service in the long run, even if it was unfathomably awkward at the time
Also, if Amber had enough of a normal high school existence to go to prom, I’m guessing (hoping?) she had a much happier childhood.
I just have the image of her growing up with Faz. Normal doesn’t mean happier.
Well yeah, but think about this: if Amber’s dad isn’t such a giant toolbastard in this universe, then he probably never got involved with the korean mob meaning he never had an affair with a korean woman, thus Faz was never born!
He’d be different, but it doesn’t null the opportunity for him to exist.
That’s getting into some weird existential matters of the soul. Let’s just stick to the concrete. Mommy and Daddy never slept together, so you were never born.
Because annoying siblings cause equivelant unhappiness to that of severe abuse? Noted.
No, but I never said it was equivalently unhappy either. We don’t even know if it was normal yet either, so…
The thing that disturbs me most about that idea is that Faz continued to hit on Amber in this universe despite being raised as siblings.
her mother divorced faster, so her life was a shorter hell
Meanwhile, in an alternate universe:
“Again, Andrew, I’m sorry that I ruined our Gay Prom night by being straight.”
Wait they have a separate Gay Prom from Straight Prom now?
Mississippi’s tryin’ their best.
they do in alternate realities!
Depends on where you go, and it’s rarely a separate official one. My high school banned the gay kids from prom one year, they held their own.
Didn’t go over well for the school.
I don’t imagine it would. And mind altering substances must have been involved in that decision.
Yeah in most cases where being gay is frowned upon by the school, the LGBT kids end up throwing their own proms in a basement or something.
My high school wasn’t even lucky enough to have a gay prom. Heck, we weren’t even allowed to have a LGBT club on campus grounds. Of course this was Nebraska in the mid-late 90’s, so I’m not surprised.
And I guess one of the problems we had was that we had no notably out homosexual students in my school except for myself, and even then only my close friends knew. But I’m very certain that had I tried to bring a boyfriend, the school wouldn’t have allowed it. And if not them… well the homophobic students would have taken issue. :,-(
Why would there be a universe in which only one of them was a different gender?
It’s a universe that was done very half-assed. You know, like 65% of the Alternate Earth’s from DC’s “Countdown to Final Crisis.”
You mean sexuality? They’re talking about Drew, Ethan’s Shortpacked! boyfriend. At least I assume.
Oh…um, yeah…I wasn’t even thinking about that. Haven’t read Shortpacked a lot over the past few weeks, so the name escapes me.
Besides, Andrew seems a good male approximation for Amber.
What about Ambrose?
I love Mike’s FAAAAAAAAAAAAACE in the second to last panel.
Yeah, had to do it. xD;
With your penis.
In the hotel room after prom.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have hit meme critical mass.
For a nickel.
My heart goes out to Amber- the same thing happened to me on my prom night. …okay, not quite the same thing, we thankfully never got as far as the hotel room, but still! Bad breaks, ladydude!
I can kinda see why Amber may have been avoiding the two of them.
It seems this Mike has a wider range of expression than Mike prime. I find this much more frightening than the smile he pulled after Amber slugged him.
One look at Amber’s body, and BAM!!! he’s gay.
Or at least that’s how her shattered self-esteem will make it look.
Honestly that’s the kind of comment I expect from Mike.
I have PSL for Amber. It’s the glasses man…
I’ve had PSL for Amber for quite some time now. Lemon fanfic levels of PSL…
You know, she seems a whole lot less “shattered self-esteem” in this universe. For example, SP! Amber (at least at the beginning) would never have reacted so strongly to Mike like that.
I’m really liking DoA Amber like this.
Depends. I read a lot of her “Nope! No social interaction. Vidya games!” as a nice little defensive mechanism.
On another note, I’ve always thought Ethan and Amber would make for a great couple.
Well at least Mike didn’t have sex with them both in the same night.
Yet.
or maybe he did… which would explain both how he knew how awkward it was and how ethan figured out he was gay
I love you, Mike.
Other than that, that would explain why Amber would rather face a computer screen than them. (^^); Poor girl.
jesus mike….jesus mike……mike as jesus……..sometimes i love my mind, right now i’m just scared of it
Mike as Jesus? Dear God, I can’t even imagine what would happen.
amen i say to you.
love each other as you love yourself
or as i loved your mom… for a nickel
Maybe it’s the fact that it’s 2:20AM, but this made me laugh. Well played, Lord of Dance. Well played.
Some of the more militant Christian sects would make a hell of a lot more sense?
God did his mum in the FAAAACE!!! with his penis in the hotel room after prom, for a nickel?
Y’know, if the old testament wroth wroth smite smite-ness somehow got transferred to jesus!Mike, that’d explain a lot. The more relaxed attitude seen in the new testament, for example (though that could simply be from Him getting laid).
Yeah it’s awkward, but not for Mike, I’m guessing.
Nothing is ever awkward for Mike. Well, that one time. With the customer who just didn’t understand that Mike had banged the customer’s mom for a nickel.
Well that answers my question from the other day.
But Amber, how can you snap at Mike? Getting pissy at him comments is like being pissed at a dog for licking itself. They going to do it whether you like it or not, so just learn to ignore it.
I’m impressed with Mike, it’s only day 3 of college and already he’s ruined somebody’s date, has got to wreck a lot of people’s self esteem, and now is reopening the old wounds of his friends, good show Mike
Really? I dunno… seems like he’s slack off a bit. I mean, he hasn’t even made he hasn’t even made some cry properly yet on panel. Maybe he’s just starting out slow and building up steam.
i put the day at 4 if you count orientation.
Ba-ZING!
My wife just mentioned she reads Mike as Neil Patrick Harris…I’m okay with this.
Oh Mike… How we love ye’… You sadistic git.
I only just now noticed how Eathan is wearing the same shirt here and in SP! Has this always happened? I tend to not pick up on things.
“Sorry I ruined our Prom night by being gay” is the most hilariously awkward apology ever.
pfft, mike you’re just jealous that it wasn’t you and amber on prom night
of course I say this and we’ll later find out that they did do something
No, Mike was too busy doing your Mom that night. For a nickel.
ok
New to this comic… but wow, Mike’s a d**k, isn’t he?
You have no idea.
Indeed. There are plenty of unpleasant characters in this comic – more every time we turn around, it seems – but Mike is in a category all his own. He is an elemental force of bastardry.
That’s what I tend to like about Willis’s comics. Nobody is unflawed. Deep down (or sometimes, not so deep down,) everybody’s a jerk or a hypocrite about something. The trick to life is finding out how. Then using it. To your own advantage, or for the lulz.
Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart! Mike!
“Hey, kid. If you don’t pick up that can I’m going to take the deposit from it… and use it to sleep with your mom twice.” – Mike Planeteer
(In MI deposit is 10 cents boys and girls. And that’s where I’m from.)
Thank god for the comments, or I’d still be thinking that Amber was trying to hide the fact that she slept with Mike (awkwardly).
P.S. I love that sad-puppy-dog look Ethan has in the last two panels.
By looking at the Authors comments I notices it still says Bechdel test. This is still part of that storyline?
I predict someone unexpected may turn out to be bisexual in this storyline, I’m hoping for DoA Joyce.
On second thought, I’m thinking Amber is more likely.
Duh… Sorry about being a total idiot here, I read that as the kinsey scale rather than bechdel test and I completely forgot how storylines work in david willis’ comics.
Mike is important because he makes even the most unpleasant characters seem like decent people, *gasp* what if that’s the plan? giving all other characters a common person to view as an asshole? he’s like Batman, hes the hero this comic deserves, but not the one it needs
I just started reading this and the other Wally stuff like two days ago and it’s great so far. Also Dumbing of Age, which happens to be the first Wally comic I found, launched on my birthday so that only makes me more interested in it. Great work and keep it up.
I read them all in 2 days (3 counting shortpacked), How many days take you to read them?
I thought thetwist to this universe would be Ethan and Leslie being straight … and everyoe else is gay
But this makes no sense in relation to yesterday. If Mike already knows about it and Ethan already knows about it, who didn’t know what yet? Who doesn’t know what yet?!
On another note, Goddamnit! My PSL for the AmberMike pairing is sobbing.
Ethan didn’t know he was gay in the Hotel Room after prom. HE DIDN’T KNOW!
Ethan didn’t yet know he was gay until the night of prom (note use of past tense–didn’t, not doesn’t).
Does Mike have a facebook page? What about a last name? I know we met his parents but I’m too lazy to track down the strips.
His cast page has always said his last name is Warner.
OK is anyone else thinking about Arrested Development right now? COME ON! I’ve made a huge mistake.
Pure Mikeness.
Oooh that’s funny, wait a minute he’s guy, and my avatar is him so…OH FUCK YOU!
Okay, Mike is now officially my favorite DoA character.