Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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June 25, 2026

Wow

by David M Willis on February 28, 2012 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - Choosing My Religion
└ Tags: dorothy, ethan, joyce, mike, transformers

Discussion (205) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    February 28, 2012 at 12:02 am | #

    Mary is gonna pitch a fit!

    • Ridureyu
      Ridureyu
      February 28, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

      “See? SEE? First she hangs out with Christians of a slightly different denomination! And then the atheists! And then she has GAY JEW ORGIES! Evil always looks so cool!”

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        February 28, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

        JUst where will it end? *GASPS*

        • Ridureyu
          Ridureyu
          February 28, 2012 at 12:08 am | #

          Usually when you start with the gay jew orgies, you’ve pretty much hit the end of it.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            February 28, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

            What, no virgin sacrifices?

            • Trae Dorn
              Trae Dorn
              February 28, 2012 at 12:15 am | #

              …if you’ve reached “gay jew orgies” the odds are that you don’t have any virgins left.

              • fellixe
                fellixe
                February 28, 2012 at 12:23 am | #

                I tried to picture a gay Jew orgy but they kept stopping to kvetch about their bodies.

                • Mr. Morningstar
                  Mr. Morningstar
                  February 28, 2012 at 7:49 am | #

                  oy vey?

                • SCharb
                  SCharb
                  February 29, 2012 at 4:38 pm | #

                  Those meshuggah faygalas aren’t shtuping because they’re too busy kvetching about their schvitzing tukhases. Oy-oy-oy!

            • Blue
              Blue
              February 28, 2012 at 7:52 pm | #

              Only if some of them haven’t been to a midnight showing of Rocky Horror. 😛

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              March 1, 2012 at 3:03 pm | #

              I think that was what the druids did.

          • Zababcd
            Zababcd
            February 28, 2012 at 12:20 am | #

            Gay satanist orgies?

            • Ridureyu
              Ridureyu
              February 28, 2012 at 12:20 am | #

              Nah, Satanists have nuthin’ on Ethan.

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          February 28, 2012 at 12:47 am | #

          With furries. Gay Jewish Atheist Furry Orgies. While cosplaying Final Fantasy characters.

          You just know it’s on the internet somewhere

          • Kernanator
            Kernanator
            February 28, 2012 at 1:07 am | #

            It is now.

          • Ridureyu
            Ridureyu
            February 28, 2012 at 1:24 am | #

            “Somewhere?”

            Try “EVERYWHERE.”

          • Xalticus
            Xalticus
            February 28, 2012 at 3:14 am | #

            That “somewhere” is known as “Second Life” as of at least 3 years ago.

            The things you (cannot un)hear & see when wandering through random areas….

          • gangler
            gangler
            February 28, 2012 at 3:35 am | #

            All from the same game though right? Because crossover final fantasy furries would just be messed up.

            • Wertthelord
              Wertthelord
              February 29, 2012 at 1:23 am | #

              Kingdom hearts, lion king world, enough said, and I apologize for sharing this knowledge.

          • Tualha
            Tualha
            February 28, 2012 at 7:06 am | #

            Rule 34.

        • Phillip Wilde
          Phillip Wilde
          February 28, 2012 at 12:21 pm | #

          In my dreams. Sweet, sweet, gay nerd dreams.

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      February 28, 2012 at 12:13 am | #

      Hopefully it will shatter her psychie. 🙂

  2. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    February 28, 2012 at 12:02 am | #

    HAPPY HAPPY JOYCE JOYCE!

    • mechaqua
      mechaqua
      February 28, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

      I dont think your happy enough, thats right!
      I’ll teach you to be happy!
      I’ll teach your grandmother to suck eggs!
      Now boys and girls, lets try it again…

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        February 28, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

        I bet Ren will show up and spoil it all.

        • mechaqua
          mechaqua
          February 28, 2012 at 12:09 am | #

          Are you suggesting Ethan should start hitting himself in the head with a hammer?

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            February 28, 2012 at 12:13 am | #

            Nah, that Mike is there for.

      • Izzy
        Izzy
        February 28, 2012 at 12:15 am | #

        I got your mother to suck my eggs! For a quarter!
        Am I doing it right?

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          February 28, 2012 at 12:19 am | #

          Well it’s certainly not cliche.

  3. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    February 28, 2012 at 12:02 am | #

    That WOW needs to be a little bigger, Mike!

    • HiEv
      HiEv
      February 28, 2012 at 3:05 am | #

      I like the extremely loud ellipsis just before the “wow”, myself.

      • Uncle Rylon
        Uncle Rylon
        September 10, 2012 at 3:18 am | #

        it’s as though even he’s surprised how quickly that worked.

  4. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    February 28, 2012 at 12:02 am | #

    Ethan that is asking the impossible.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 28, 2012 at 12:07 am | #

      Why is it impossible, is it cos we will have to wait a few years before we see next Sunday?

      • fellixe
        fellixe
        February 28, 2012 at 12:26 am | #

        Are we there yet?

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          February 28, 2012 at 12:32 am | #

          NO!! 😛

          • fellixe
            fellixe
            February 28, 2012 at 12:38 am | #

            How ’bout now?

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              February 28, 2012 at 12:50 am | #

              NOPE!

              • Kernanator
                Kernanator
                February 28, 2012 at 1:09 am | #

                Now?

                • Batman1016
                  Batman1016
                  February 28, 2012 at 1:52 am | #

                  I’m gonna turn this damn comic AROUND, I SWEAR!!!

                • Spazman
                  Spazman
                  February 28, 2012 at 6:34 am | #

                  I’m not touching you.

                  I’m not touching you.

                  I’m not touching you.

      • Mkvenner
        Mkvenner
        February 28, 2012 at 5:57 pm | #

        No, asking mike not to judge him.

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        February 28, 2012 at 11:41 pm | #

        What’s going to happen first? Ethan going to church with Joyce, or Walky getting his Fauxjamajeans?

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      February 28, 2012 at 12:32 am | #

      “Your mission, should you chose to accept it…”

      • Just for kix
        Just for kix
        February 28, 2012 at 2:21 am | #

        Haha, nice!

      • Mkvenner
        Mkvenner
        February 28, 2012 at 5:58 pm | #

        Buried or cremated?

  5. Haven
    Haven
    February 28, 2012 at 12:02 am | #

    oh man. Ethan did something even Mike can’t believe.

    • Zap Rowsdower
      Zap Rowsdower
      February 28, 2012 at 12:05 am | #

      I think Mike simply didn’t expect his “lecture him back into the closet” thing to work this well this quickly.

      • Undrave
        Undrave
        February 28, 2012 at 12:08 am | #

        It’s like jumping into a pit trap even if you know its full of snakes. Snakes with chainsaws for fangs. POISONOUS CHAINSAWS.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        February 28, 2012 at 12:10 am | #

        So Mike’s plan went Horribly Right?

        • fellixe
          fellixe
          February 28, 2012 at 12:29 am | #

          This is exciting! We could actually be catching the birth of Mike’s journey of how to truly weild evil. Sure, he’s hit people. But now he bloms into the fully grown corpse flower that is MIKE!!! (cue lightning)

          • narmenduke
            narmenduke
            February 28, 2012 at 1:11 pm | #

            I just got an amusing visual of Mike cackling madly in front of lightning while Walky stares in horror at just how stupid he looks in those jean pajama pants that Mike got him.

    • Valdrax
      Valdrax
      February 28, 2012 at 1:24 am | #

      I’m starting to get the impression that this version of Mike really does have Ethan’s back.

      He’s curmudgeonly, but he doesn’t really seem to have done anything actively malicious yet beyond giving Walky enough rope to hang himself with when it comes to fashion.

      • Pat
        Pat
        February 28, 2012 at 10:12 am | #

        I’ve always had the impression that, ultimately, this is true of Mike anyway.
        They just have to suffer, first. To earn it, or somethin’.

      • Uncle Rylon
        Uncle Rylon
        September 10, 2012 at 3:21 am | #

        Well, he did hit Joe repeatedly.

  6. mechaqua
    mechaqua
    February 28, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

    Surfing the Net is a mitzvah Ethan! Probably….

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 28, 2012 at 12:05 am | #

      But are those sites he visits kosher?

      • mechaqua
        mechaqua
        February 28, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

        It depends if he is reformed probably if he is conservative maybe if he is Orthodox well…

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        February 28, 2012 at 12:37 am | #

        Yes! All sites he visits are made from the proper part of the cow!

        • fellixe
          fellixe
          February 28, 2012 at 12:49 am | #

          Yes, one must use discretion when surfing the intermeats.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          February 28, 2012 at 12:51 am | #

          Also good Jewish boys and girls avoid any sites that feature PORKING.

      • Rognik
        Rognik
        February 29, 2012 at 5:11 pm | #

        I always wondered… if I bought kosher meat on Saturday, would it still be kosher? If it is, the same applies here.

  7. Gundi
    Gundi
    February 28, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

    Even *Mike* is off-put by this. Seriously, Ethan, this is in every possible way a bad idea.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 28, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

      This depends on just how gay Ethan is.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        February 28, 2012 at 12:36 am | #

        Ethan is gayer than even other gay guys.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        February 28, 2012 at 12:49 am | #

        Too gay to sex up Amber when he had the chance. That’s pretty gay.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          February 28, 2012 at 12:52 am | #

          He must have been exposed to a heavy dose of gaydiation.

          • gangler
            gangler
            February 28, 2012 at 3:32 am | #

            Did he handle yellow cake queeranium without a hazmat suit?

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              February 28, 2012 at 4:48 am | #

              As we all know, queeranium is refined from the gaydioactice assotope uraniass, so it is quite possible.

    • Peruhain
      Peruhain
      February 28, 2012 at 1:04 am | #

      Kinda depends on what sort of church that is, exactly. Even in the Bible Belt, university towns tend to have a couple of churches that accept gay people . . . without trying to “transform” them. Of course, Joyce seems like the “transforming” type.

    • HollyDee
      HollyDee
      February 28, 2012 at 2:35 am | #

      I think they’re gonna end up doing it.

    • DaveO
      DaveO
      February 28, 2012 at 5:59 am | #

      I like to think that Mike has integrity. Or maybe just he hates watching others lose theirs. He is the fire that cauterizes wounded souls.

      • Pat
        Pat
        February 28, 2012 at 10:13 am | #

        Exactly.

        Ethan was supposed to realize that Mike’s advice was far stupider than what he actually did, but nope!

    • Jackson
      Jackson
      February 28, 2012 at 6:45 am | #

      At least it will make things interesting.

      Painfully interesting.

  8. sutbcomics
    sutbcomics
    February 28, 2012 at 12:08 am | #

    AND EVERYTHING WAS OKAY FOREVER

    • mechaqua
      mechaqua
      February 28, 2012 at 12:16 am | #

      Like I said before this could only lead to good things!

  9. Pivitor
    Pivitor
    February 28, 2012 at 12:09 am | #

    Too bad it’s gonna be another year and a half before this plays out

  10. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    February 28, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

    As a Jew I feel neigh-chronically guilty about not attending temple and I don’t know why. The prayers are dull and repetitive, and I’d probably fall asleep in the middle anyway. Plus there’s always the risk I’ll get called up for an aliyah and my Hebrew is insanely rusty, so that’s embarrassing. But every Saturday I wake up with the glowing green 1:00 staring me in the face I spend a good half-hour agonizing about how I would totally have gone to temple today.

    Friday nights aren’t an option because the Friday services are even worse. My temple is bi-denominational, which is nice and all but they don’t have services for my denomination on Fridays. (I’m Conservative, and the bigger congregation is Reform.) And everyone brings their kids…it’s just shit. At least Saturdays usually have interesting sermons and if I get bored I just start flipping through the Bible. There’s no Bibles in the Friday service.

    • MM
      MM
      February 28, 2012 at 12:25 am | #

      “As a Jew, I feel chronically guilty…”

      There’s your “why.”

      (It’s okay. I know the feeling well myself.)

      • mechaqua
        mechaqua
        February 28, 2012 at 12:34 am | #

        This is what the High Holidays are for! Probably…

  11. Moonshine McGee
    Moonshine McGee
    February 28, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

    Mike is servant first and foremost to the punchline. Ethan should know that by now.

    That he didn’t de-closet Ethan right here and now is proof that these shenanigans can only end in tears.

    • jrgolden42
      jrgolden42
      February 28, 2012 at 12:17 am | #

      Oh I’m sure he will out Ethan by the end of the week. IRL not in storyline. That would be like… another year

    • Lumino
      Lumino
      February 28, 2012 at 2:26 am | #

      Another note about Mike is that his asshole moves have to be funny. They are very rarely just mean, and there has to be a perfect scene for him to ‘out’ Ethan for him to do it.

      Evil is patient. 😀

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        February 28, 2012 at 11:17 pm | #

        He’ll out him on their honeymoon. 😉

    • Shade
      Shade
      February 28, 2012 at 3:01 pm | #

      I’m hoping it ends with Mike and Ethan kissing. That should snap him out of it.

  12. turkishproverb
    turkishproverb
    February 28, 2012 at 12:13 am | #

    Aaaand..ethan just crossed a line

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 28, 2012 at 4:51 am | #

      …and then climbed into a closet and bolted it shut.

  13. linkman0596
    linkman0596
    February 28, 2012 at 12:16 am | #

    actually, i kinda wonder, i dont think i’ve seen joyce have a reaction to gay dudes in this or any other universe so far, i mean, she’ll definately be dissapointed to find out he’s not her future hubby, but i’d love it if it turns out dudes doing eachother is the one thing most christians hate that she gives a big thumbs up on…..and the eventual fight between her and mary on that would be so awesome

    • Peruhain
      Peruhain
      February 28, 2012 at 1:05 am | #

      +1

      • Chibi Squirt
        Chibi Squirt
        February 28, 2012 at 3:13 am | #

        I… I totally want to see this. Omigosh.

    • turkishproverb
      turkishproverb
      February 28, 2012 at 1:46 am | #

      interesting idea, but we know girl on girl is unacceptable to her (even if she’s not invovled), so I’m not sure how cool she’d be with guy on guy by that logic.

    • Pat
      Pat
      February 28, 2012 at 10:20 am | #

      In “It’s Walky” there was the scene where she and Walky traded sexes, and Joyce pointed out to Walky something along the lines of “If you’ll notice, we’re both heterosexual in these forms,” and then she was freaked out to notice that she was actually attracted to male Joyce.
      So that showed an understanding and acceptance of the concept of sexual orientation, I think, even if I don’t remember her reacting to any actual gay people.

      But I dunno if that’s gonna fly here.

      • Chuck Testa
        Chuck Testa
        February 28, 2012 at 11:14 pm | #

        I found it funny that when she turned into a dude, she later said she was bigger than walky, in more than one way.

    • narmenduke
      narmenduke
      February 28, 2012 at 1:25 pm | #

      I know Joyce isn’t Catholic, and I don’t think Mary is, but… <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxHtZJphmGA&quot; title="NUN FIGHT!!!"

      Now let’s hope I did the HTML right.

      • narmenduke
        narmenduke
        February 28, 2012 at 1:26 pm | #

        HOOO. No. Fail. I put in an tag but it took it out for some reason.

        …I’m new at this. Don’t judge me. Enjoy the nun fight.

        • Kryss LaBryn
          Kryss LaBryn
          February 28, 2012 at 11:33 pm | #

          For next time, the code is:

          {a href=”http://www.yoururl.com”}your text goes here{/a}

          with < brackets instead of { ones.

          Looks like you got the first bit right but missed the closing quotes and the closing bracket before your text ("NUN FIGHT!!!") and the {/a} at the end. Close, though! 🙂

  14. Janette
    Janette
    February 28, 2012 at 12:16 am | #

    Ethan as a liar or Ethan as a depressed wimp…hmm…

    We need a Drew.

    • ryan
      ryan
      February 28, 2012 at 8:48 am | #

      hmm, maybe we’ll see him at church in a year and a half.

  15. jaredstar1
    jaredstar1
    February 28, 2012 at 12:18 am | #

    This can only result in good things. (hah this is gonna end in more heartbreak then the last three eps of ben 10)

  16. Chuck Testa
    Chuck Testa
    February 28, 2012 at 12:22 am | #

    I smell trouble….. And bacon for some reason

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      February 28, 2012 at 12:34 am | #

      That happens to me too. It’s usually a sign that I’m hungry.

    • fellixe
      fellixe
      February 28, 2012 at 12:35 am | #

      Bacon is the best kind of trouble.

  17. Ray Barrington
    Ray Barrington
    February 28, 2012 at 12:24 am | #

    You’ll love our church, Ethan! It’s called Westboro Baptist, and we go all over the country!

    • MichaelHaneline
      MichaelHaneline
      February 28, 2012 at 5:36 pm | #

      I heard Kevin Smith was making a dark comedy based on those guys. I wonder whatever happened to that.

      • David
        David M Willis
        February 28, 2012 at 5:38 pm | #

        I think it’s called “Comic Book Men.”

  18. Nexev
    Nexev
    February 28, 2012 at 12:24 am | #

    Dorothy is in the background of the third panel just looking like “no christ, joyce, don’t do this, he is holding a transformer how can your gaydar be this broke?”

    That amuses me.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      February 28, 2012 at 12:26 am | #

      I was not aware being a fan of Transformers was considered a gay stereotype.

      That explains the production of a musical version of the movie at my local theeAYtur.

      • Izzy
        Izzy
        February 28, 2012 at 12:29 am | #

        :O

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        February 28, 2012 at 12:52 am | #

        What did you THINK LGBT stood for?

        Likes Go-Bots & Transformers.

        • captainswift
          captainswift
          February 28, 2012 at 11:49 am | #

          That just made my morning, Doc.

  19. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    February 28, 2012 at 12:25 am | #

    Maybe this is just me being an optimist, but surely the better option here is put some effort into making platonic friends. I mean, he’s moping about being alone, but sexuality aside he’s in the same boat as almost every other freshman on campus–hell, he has TWO FRIENDS, he’s already ahead of the game!

    Just go out and meet people! Strike up a conversation with someone at the tail ends of a class! Join a club! Go hang out somewhere! I get that your summer was crap, and you’re feeling down, but do SOMETHING. Something other than THIS.

    “There’s nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it.”

    • mechaqua
      mechaqua
      February 28, 2012 at 12:36 am | #

      Your optimism depresses me.

    • Marr
      Marr
      February 28, 2012 at 2:30 am | #

      Maybe he is trying to change them from within.

      Deep within.

    • TsunamiJane
      TsunamiJane
      February 28, 2012 at 7:29 am | #

      What is that quote from? I love it!

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        February 28, 2012 at 8:05 am | #

        It’s from the very end of a comic series called Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.

        It’s quite good–it starts out as a simple blood book (albeit an incredibly darkly funny one) and starts gradually deconstructing the elements which make it work (Johnny’s seeming immortality/uncatchability and the nature of the voices in his head) until it becomes a supernatural thriller of sorts (albeit an incredibly darkly funny one.)

        • Wack'd
          Wack'd
          February 28, 2012 at 8:09 am | #

          Incidentally, the writer makes it incredibly clear that the book should NOT be used as a source of moral guidence (“that would be movies,” he quips via scribbled aside) but I still love that little gem. Here’s the whole quote:

          “Dear Die-ary, there’s nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their “discomfort” like a favorite shirt. I can’t say I’m very pleased with where my life is just now… but I can’t help but look forward to where it’s going.”

          • Vex Godglove
            Vex Godglove
            February 28, 2012 at 3:05 pm | #

            Of course he goes on to murder dozens of people, but the sentiment is still nice. It is indeed a brilliant series, as is most of Jhonen’s work.

            • mechaqua
              mechaqua
              February 28, 2012 at 6:41 pm | #

              Well to be fair he was just trying to stop the thing in the wall from coming out also he was crazy.

              • Wack'd
                Wack'd
                February 28, 2012 at 11:53 pm | #

                Yeah, but he kept killing people after the Wall thing vanished.

                Plus the way I interpreted him feeding it is the entire reason it’s more than just a hallucination.

                If you really need to excuse his actions post-being-a-waste lock, the criminal insanity should do it.

    • SHAZAM
      SHAZAM
      February 20, 2013 at 1:37 pm | #

      See for the best part of my life between 11 and 19, I would, while sharing basically nothing with Ethan apart from a gender (and age at the moment I guess) was for the first half of that depressed at how I’d be alone forever because no girl had gone out with me and I hadn’t lost my virginity yet (it seemed like everyone else had) and for the second half it was ‘I’m so depressed because I’m not with one specific person.

  20. Jetstream
    Jetstream
    February 28, 2012 at 12:30 am | #

    This can only end in tears 😀

    • mechaqua
      mechaqua
      February 28, 2012 at 12:38 am | #

      Yeah! TEARS OF JOY!

      • fellixe
        fellixe
        February 28, 2012 at 12:53 am | #

        No, not tears. Tears! Tears in the faith-time continuum!

        • Shippy McShipper
          Shippy McShipper
          February 28, 2012 at 6:31 pm | #

          Not those either. Tears as in torn clothes.

      • Drunken Nordmann
        Drunken Nordmann
        February 28, 2012 at 7:07 pm | #

        At first I’ve read ‘TEARS OF JOYCE!’… I really should go to bed earlier.

  21. MarcinMN
    MarcinMN
    February 28, 2012 at 12:31 am | #

    Next week, eh? Man, I can’t wait for that stip. It will be the highlight of my 2015! 😉

    • MarcinMN
      MarcinMN
      February 28, 2012 at 12:33 am | #

      Argh, I obviously meant to type “strip.” ; ;

  22. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    February 28, 2012 at 12:35 am | #

    I fail to see how this can end badly.

    /sarcasm

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 28, 2012 at 12:59 am | #

      Ethan has a cunning plan, one that cannot possibly fail…

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        February 28, 2012 at 8:49 pm | #

        He’s from Sicilian, after all.

  23. Aydr
    Aydr
    February 28, 2012 at 12:41 am | #

    WOW.

  24. mechaqua
    mechaqua
    February 28, 2012 at 12:47 am | #

    You know If Ethan initiated a romatic relationship with Joyce it could in theory last way way too long. I mean Joyce is probably not going to want to have sex until she is married, Ethan is probably going to be okay with not having sex because well Joyce is not a man. Hence they get married and its like prom only a lot more awkward, and that’s just putting it lightly.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      February 28, 2012 at 12:54 am | #

      It’ll be like that Leslie come-out scene with the genders reversed.

      “Is your brother still single?”

      Joyce has a brother, right? It’s been a while since my last archive crawl.

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        February 28, 2012 at 12:55 am | #

        She has five.

        • David
          David M Willis
          February 28, 2012 at 12:57 am | #

          Not in this universe.

          • numaron
            numaron
            February 28, 2012 at 1:02 am | #

            Does she have any brothers in this universe?

            • gangler
              gangler
              February 28, 2012 at 3:25 am | #

              Cast page mentions three.

        • Aydr
          Aydr
          February 28, 2012 at 5:45 am | #

          Kinky.

    • Björn
      Björn
      February 28, 2012 at 1:58 am | #

      Yeah, and anyways Joyce is only going to want to have sex 2.5 times so she can gave 2.5 kids. Ethan can totally pull that off!

      • Shippy McShipper
        Shippy McShipper
        February 28, 2012 at 6:33 pm | #

        How do they get half a kid? I’d assume she’s against abortion…

        • Kernanator
          Kernanator
          February 28, 2012 at 8:50 pm | #

          Joyce turned to drugs after she found out her husband was gay.

          Wow, that went someplace dark pretty quick, huh?

  25. Henry
    Henry
    February 28, 2012 at 12:49 am | #

    Once more…oh dear…

  26. Flimsyfishy
    Flimsyfishy
    February 28, 2012 at 1:25 am | #

    Don’t make Joyce into Ethan’s beard… please no.

    • TsunamiJane
      TsunamiJane
      February 28, 2012 at 9:17 pm | #

      …beard?

      • Flimsyfishy
        Flimsyfishy
        February 29, 2012 at 9:33 am | #

        look it up on urban dictionary. Either one of the first two definitions will suffice.

    • DarkVeghetta
      DarkVeghetta
      June 21, 2015 at 1:51 am | #

      Do eeet do eeet!

  27. Locke
    Locke
    February 28, 2012 at 1:29 am | #

    This is going to turn out A-Okay!

  28. lord of dance
    lord of dance
    February 28, 2012 at 2:11 am | #

    well i honestly can’t think of a way that this could possibly go wrong

  29. Joe
    Joe
    February 28, 2012 at 2:20 am | #

    Man, I am just not getting it. Why is there and Optimus Primal tag? What Beast Wars quote have I missed?

    • Lumino
      Lumino
      February 28, 2012 at 2:23 am | #

      It is the figure Ethan is playing with.

    • ryan
      ryan
      February 28, 2012 at 8:55 am | #

      look at the last panel. now look at ethan’s crotch. LOOK AT IT.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        February 28, 2012 at 10:51 am | #

        Good lord, what is that Primal *doing* to him!?

  30. Blob Marley
    Blob Marley
    February 28, 2012 at 2:28 am | #

    WOW.

  31. GenericScreenName101
    GenericScreenName101
    February 28, 2012 at 2:28 am | #

    Is it me or is Ethan asking the impossible of Mike?

    • Charles RB
      Charles RB
      February 28, 2012 at 3:20 am | #

      Mike’s judging him like Dredd, man.

  32. Dahlia
    Dahlia
    February 28, 2012 at 2:45 am | #

    So…Willis, exactly how much money would it take to bribe you to let me in for a panel or two and smack Ethan?

    Or, you know, at least have Mike do it…?

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      February 28, 2012 at 10:53 am | #

      If Mike did it Ethan wouldn’t recognize anything out of the ordinary, except perhaps to wonder why Mike was deviating from his normal level of cruelty in favor of the milder and kinder physical violence.

      • Dahlia
        Dahlia
        February 28, 2012 at 5:25 pm | #

        Dammit. You’re right!

        But who will stop this!?

  33. lightsabermario
    lightsabermario
    February 28, 2012 at 3:59 am | #

    Without the context of the previous page, I would most certainly have to question Ethan’s gayness in this universe. Even with the previous page, I’m having a hard time seeing what he said and the way he said it as anything less than hopeful for love, whether consciously or unconsciously. I mean, is he just that inept at NOT coming on to women? I don’t blame Joyce one bit for interpreting this the wrong way.

    • Aydr
      Aydr
      February 28, 2012 at 5:43 am | #

      That is how he played it. And he is hoping for love, at least for the moment while his judgement is clouded. He wants someone to love him, because he’s depressed and lonely- even if it’s someone who’s love he doesn’t really want, and can’t really love.

      Too bad he’s so deep in his depression he can’t see what’s right in front of him >_>

      • MrSmiley
        MrSmiley
        February 28, 2012 at 1:16 pm | #

        If only he could see Mike. For a nickel.

        • Drunken Nordmann
          Drunken Nordmann
          February 28, 2012 at 7:09 pm | #

          With his penis.

  34. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    February 28, 2012 at 4:57 am | #

    I really like how Mike is changed subtly in this universe from cartoonish, physics-breaking asshole antics to being a supportive friend who is just an asshole about it.

    • Crumplepunch
      Crumplepunch
      February 28, 2012 at 5:00 am | #

      Just to be clear, I interpret Mike’s surprise here as meaning that his previous “advice” was actually intended to point out that Ethan made the right decision. He wasn’t actually expecting Ethan to take him seriously.

  35. sun tzu
    sun tzu
    February 28, 2012 at 5:18 am | #

    Bad Ethan! Bad! No biscuit!

    • Pat
      Pat
      February 28, 2012 at 10:26 am | #

      Aw man. I was scrolling down to see if anybody had already said that. And here it is, right toward the bottom. I sad.

      But seriously, Ethan. It’s a gay, nerdy Jew, or just grab the first person you see? Maaaaybe we could relax just a little bit of that first before we dump the whole thing out.
      Or, y’know, *try* to find one; you didn’t even do that first, did you?

  36. Kenneth
    Kenneth
    February 28, 2012 at 6:19 am | #

    Noooo Ethan, you traitor! On two counts!

    • Pat
      Pat
      February 28, 2012 at 10:26 am | #

      Three.

      I doubt Joyce is sufficiently nerdy–do *you* see her carrying a Transformer?

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        February 28, 2012 at 10:54 am | #

        She’s not even carrying a Monkey Master!

  37. L
    L
    February 28, 2012 at 6:49 am | #

    Oy vey…

  38. Tualha
    Tualha
    February 28, 2012 at 7:07 am | #

    I was at a PFLAG meeting once where a woman told us about how she had some inkling in college that she was gay, but suppressed it for religious reasons. Went on to get married and have kids. Twenty years on, she finally faced the fact. So now she’s married to a guy and has two kids and wants to start dating women. Rather more drama than if she’d just faced it in college and dealt with it then. Her highly religious mother was there with her – you can imagine how well she was taking all of this.

    So, what will you do, Ethan? Will you set up yourself and several other people to be hurt, several years down the line? Or will you be honest about who you are?

    • Pat
      Pat
      February 28, 2012 at 10:27 am | #

      It may be harder in the long run, but it’s easier now!
      And that’s what matters. …Right?

  39. Creativerealms
    Creativerealms
    February 28, 2012 at 8:07 am | #

    So Ethan is going to pretend he’s straight because he thinks he can’t find a good gay relationship? This won’t end well.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      February 28, 2012 at 8:11 am | #

      It actually happened in real life, you know.

      • Rowen Morland
        Rowen Morland
        February 28, 2012 at 8:25 am | #

        Yes didn’t you read Ethan’s biography?

  40. NF
    NF
    February 28, 2012 at 10:27 am | #

    What really pisses off Mike here is that Ethan has eliminated the need for all the work Mike planned to do to screw with his head, so now Mike is going to have to come up with a hilarious way to keep Joyce/Ethan from ever happening.

  41. Asuka L.S.
    Asuka L.S.
    February 28, 2012 at 10:31 am | #

    This can only end in tears. The question is, will they be Ethan’s tears, Joyce’s tears, or both?

    GIMME 20 ON BOTH! SPIN THE WHEEL!!!!

  42. Robert
    Robert
    February 28, 2012 at 11:24 am | #

    Mike took the words right out of my mouth.

  43. G.G.
    G.G.
    February 28, 2012 at 12:00 pm | #

    Only God can Judge me Mike… lol

  44. Angelicfiend
    Angelicfiend
    February 28, 2012 at 12:07 pm | #

    Ethan….:( be proud not hurt!

    • Angelicfiend
      Angelicfiend
      February 28, 2012 at 12:08 pm | #

      Also, woot, my icon is my favorite character now! my joy is un-describable right now

      • Izzy
        Izzy
        February 28, 2012 at 1:05 pm | #

        Is un-describable describing it? Of so it isn’t in-describable because it is

  45. Alechsa
    Alechsa
    February 28, 2012 at 12:50 pm | #

    Joyce: OMG OMG OMG! I can convert a Jew!!

    I predict Ethan will go to this church, sit through that bigoted preacher’s summons, and… learn his lesson after a chewing out from Mary for the evils of being born two things he had no control over?

  46. MrSmiley
    MrSmiley
    February 28, 2012 at 1:12 pm | #

    If only he could see Mike.
    For a nickel.

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      February 29, 2012 at 12:53 am | #

      With his penis.

      –Wow, deja vu.

      • MrSmiley
        MrSmiley
        February 29, 2012 at 4:24 am | #

        yeah failposted this one.
        Then re-posted after the comment I wanted to refer to.
        [they don’t allow delete posts]

  47. Sheilo
    Sheilo
    February 28, 2012 at 1:55 pm | #

    I think Mike’s response is sufficient here. It would be better if he punched him but hey.

  48. Keulan
    Keulan
    February 28, 2012 at 2:47 pm | #

    Wow indeed.

  49. Shifty
    Shifty
    February 28, 2012 at 3:04 pm | #

    >Slow Clap< Ethan managed to get a "are you serious?" type of reaction from Mike with that… Well played sir. Well played.

    And now Ethan begins building his house of lies, which will be destroyed by the Godzilla-like rage of both Amber and Joyce upon discovering the truth. An Mike will stand in the corner enjoying the chaos.

    • Gundi
      Gundi
      February 28, 2012 at 6:32 pm | #

      I don’t think Joyce’s reaction will be “rage”. Rather she’ll probably be hurt, and confused.

      Amber though… could potentially take it *very* badly, especially if there is some sort of misunderstanding. And there will be one. Possibly caused by Mike.

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        February 29, 2012 at 12:54 am | #

        With his penis. For a nickel.

        –Sorry, couldn’t resist. 😉

        • MrSmiley
          MrSmiley
          February 29, 2012 at 4:28 am | #

          in his [ethan’s] face.

  50. Riku
    Riku
    February 28, 2012 at 5:40 pm | #

    Aaaand finally caught up on this comic too

  51. Axel
    Axel
    February 28, 2012 at 6:52 pm | #

    No! Bad Ethan! That is not the same thing as keeping your mouth shut!

  52. Maycroft
    Maycroft
    February 29, 2012 at 12:37 am | #

    I hear “bad idea” every where!

  53. Mikehatesyou
    Mikehatesyou
    February 29, 2012 at 6:42 am | #

    Do not judge the gay jew please.

  54. bubba11340
    bubba11340
    February 29, 2012 at 7:46 am | #

    Quick question: Are they all from the same universe as shortpacked and roomies or not?

    • DarkVeghetta
      DarkVeghetta
      June 21, 2015 at 1:53 am | #

      It’s a Multiverse sort of deal. So, no.

  55. Axel
    Axel
    February 29, 2012 at 9:29 am | #

    They are not.

  56. Brady Kj
    Brady Kj
    March 1, 2012 at 9:37 pm | #

    I firmly believe that Mike planned this. And now he’s beginning his phase of making Ethan feel bad about doing exactly what Mike wanted.

  57. Mo
    Mo
    April 18, 2013 at 12:52 pm | #

    Hope you pride yourself in being right about toys on the Internet, Ethan, ‘cuz you sure blow when things actually matter.

  58. Rory
    Rory
    August 5, 2013 at 4:18 pm | #

    Oh, poor Joyce.

  59. newllend
    newllend
    August 14, 2013 at 6:32 pm | #

    A gay jew going too a cathlic church to impress a girl? Not only is he a sell out, but he a mystery raped in enigma

    • DarkVeghetta
      DarkVeghetta
      June 21, 2015 at 1:54 am | #

      Enigma raped him? That explains a few things, actually.

  60. Lis
    Lis
    April 17, 2015 at 1:33 am | #

    I’m pretty sure for once Mike and I are in agreement.

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