A witch accidentally marries a monster, and now she and her familiar has to navigate life around her monstrous husband and her even more terrifying in-laws.
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Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
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Winona runs a werewolf shelter with partner in crime, Odile in the Gothic city of Merlot. One day they take in an injured vampire, and soon unravels many of the dark secrets of Merlot.
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Akane has only one way to get back home: collect the 42 keys to parallel worlds. Eri and Ben are just trying to get through the summer before university. When a magical key turns up in an old spare set, all three are forced to change their plans and fast.
Guilded Age
T Campbell, John Waltrip, Florence Machina
Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Cyanide & Happiness
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A queer romance about people attempting to build lives in a cold, post-apocalyptic world ravaged by hordes of undead.
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I think you just have more relationship confidence than Walky.
Also, your name made me think of the “Red vs. Blue” character and my hasn’t this become a reference filled thread.
I was saying *my* reference to how you make me think of RvB is a reference – I’m not assuming that your name is inherently a reference to the series on its own.
Don’t let the supposed lack of tactile appreciation fool you. As an expression of intimacy, ladies like getting their breasts touched as much as the guy likes touching them.
Oh, Mike strangles just fine. The thing is, it’s hard to tell at first glance that a strangled cat is dead instead of merely asleep. A sound post-mortem stomping addresses that problem. Then, of course, Mike hides until he can see the inevitable cat-fancier come along and take in the scene. Their expression makes it all worthwhile.
nothing is true, everything is permitted, know this and you will go far in theta kappa delta. (there’s some sorority or something at my college that i can’t be arsed to remember the name of.)
I think most of us have been in that position… hopefully the brain-mounted Google Glass 3.0 will give us real-time “relationship level” markers so this never has to happen again.
Or, you know, we get better at communicating boundaries, including when they change. Either or.
Throw your dollar bills and leave your thrills all here with me
And speak but don’t pretend I won’t defend you anymore you see
It aches in every bone, I’ll die alone, but not for you
My eyes don’t need to see that ugly thing, I know it’s me you fear
If you want me hold me back
Um, it’s not really misandry so much as a stereotype. He didn’t mean bad even if what he said was kind of presumptuous. Please try not to throw that accusation around so lightly, especially if you’re going to get it wrong. (Not that you meant to I’m sure.)
the stereotype is still misandry at it’s core. just because we don’t care doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be a problem that needs to be addressed.
okay yes it does. but in all realities the ones who hurt from this particular double standard are women, if you don’t respect us and our physical privacy then how can you ever expect us to respect yours?
Not really. To be misandristic the notion has to be supported by a hatred of men. This steryotype is harmful, but iffy on its intentions I don’t think everyone who thinks that way hates men so much as they are mistaken.
Also, one wrong does not justify another. Even if all women everywhere decided to violate a man today, (not that they necessarily ever would) it would still be wrong to do the same back to them. It would simply lower ourselves down to the level of every other person who violated someone else, and those people were always wrong. (Sorry. Rant.)
Um, yeah… I’m pretty sure I have standards concerning who, where, and when I get felt up, just as I’m sure that there are probably some girls who don’t mind at all, but you never know so best to at least be making out first or something before you try your hand.
If you were wrong when you were already getting intimate, it’s an honest mistake. If you were wrong when it was out of nowhere, you’re being a real jerk, gender regardless.
This has been eating at me for quite some time now and mister banner up there has reminded me. Is Joe related to the young photographer who captured the famous Mt. Suribachi flag raising of WWII?
Good, Walky. Having to be told once that you’re allowed can be charming. Don’t let yourself cross the line into “timid” though. You gotta be willing to make a move on your own some time.
But yeah, that’s the truth. I love this comic here cause it totally happened to me, hence I find it *hilarious*! I took the hint and went along with it, hopefully Walky does the same!
I am highly amused at Walky’s reaction. I am also feeling somewhat ambivalent towards Dorothy right now. I mean, her break-up was how long ago and she’s already going this far with someone else…? *shrug* Eh, whatevs, Dottie.
Uh, yeah- her breakup is done, and it’s pretty clear she’d moved on by the time it happened anyway. She’s really supposed to wait a requisite week or whatever for the breakup to become “final?”
It was a relatively clean break-up, Walky’s not one of Danny’s friends, and Danny has started seeing other people. I’d say she’s in the clear in any way that matters and many that don’t.
This is old, but I want you to know you are an asshole. Judging Dorothy for her consensual sexual encounters is shitty and leads me to believe you may have a problem with women. JSYK
Dorothy, please that you are as smart as you claim. You have a level of experience that Walky completely lacks. Guide and instruct the neophyte. This will reduce the stress level and will make sure that he don’t develop any bad habits.
(I want to see if either of them tweet about this.)
The annoying thing about memorising long poems like The Raven is that when someone mentions the poem, you feel like you must respond. Let me start with just one stanza, to check the formatting. This one is unchanged (except maybe punctuation, which I can’t remember), because Takei has not yet made an appearance.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
”Tis some visitor,’ I muttered, ‘tapping at my chamber door.
Only this, and nothing more.’
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
”Tis some visitor,’ I muttered, ‘tapping at my chamber door.
Only this, and nothing more.’
Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost Lenore –
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore –
Nameless here for evermore.
And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me, filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before,
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
”Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door,
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door.
This it is, and nothing more.’
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
‘Sir,’ said I, ‘or madam, truly your forgiveness I implore,
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you.’ Here I opened wide the door-
Darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before,
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word ‘Lenore’.
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word ‘Lenore’.
Merely this, and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping, something louder than before.
‘Surely,’ said I, ‘Surely that is coming from my window lattice.
Let me see then what thereat is, and this mystery explore.
Let my heart be still a moment, and this mystery explore.
‘Tis the wind, and nothing more.’
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately man who speaks the words you wrote before,
Not the least obeisance made he, not a minute stopped or stayed he,
But, with mien of lord or lady, leaped upon the chamber door,
Leaped upon the bust of Pallas just above my chamber door
Leaped and sat, and nothing more.
Then, this George Takei beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
By his grave and stern decorum as he wore a silly tie,
‘Though thy hair be partly shaven, thou’, I said, ‘art sure no craven,
Ghastly, grim, but not a craven. That, I’m sure, would be a lie.
Tell me what thy lordly name is, what am I to call you by?’
Then ‘Oh, my.’ said George Takei.
Much I marvelled this ungainly man to hear discourse so plainly,
Though his answer little meaning, little relevancy bore,
Still, we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing man above his chamber door –
Man or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door –
As I spoke of just before.
But, the maven, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only
Those two words, as if in those two words his very soul did lie.
Nothing farther then he uttered, not a syllable he stuttered,
‘Til I scarcely more than muttered, ‘Other friends did once stop by.
On the morrow he will leave me, and my hopes once more shall die.
Then the maven said, “Oh, my.”
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
‘Doubtless,’ said I, ‘what he utters is his only stock and store,
Speaking of a poorly master, whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster ’til his songs one burden bore –
‘Til the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of never – nevermore.
Then, the maven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of man, and bust, and tie,
Then upon the velvet sinking I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this strange eccentric guy –
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and strange eccentric guy –
Meant when he pronounced, “Oh, my.”
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the man whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core.
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion’s velvet lining with the lamplight gloating o’er –
But, whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o’er She shall press, ah, nevermore!
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer,
Swung by Seraphim whose presence I detected quite close by.
‘Wretch!’ I cried, ‘Thy God hath lent thee! By these angels he hath sent thee!
Respite! Respite and nepenthe when I watch this crazy guy!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe! Thank you, crazy guy Takei!’
Then ‘Oh, my.’ said George Takei.
‘Prophet!’ said I, ‘Thing of evil! Prophet still, if man or devil,
Whether Tempter sent or Heaven’s angel, with white wings to fly
Through the window, all undaunted, into desert land enchanted,
Into home with horror haunted, tell me truly, George Takei –
Is there – Is there balm in Gilead? Tell me, tell me, crazy guy!’
Then ‘Oh, my.’ said George Takei.
‘Prophet!’ said I, ‘Thing of evil! Prophet still, if man or devil,
By that Heaven that bends above us, by that land beyond the sky,
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden, who quite recently did die –
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, who quite recently did die.’
Then ‘Oh, my.’ said George Takei.
‘Be that word our sign of parting, man or fiend!’ I shrieked, up-starting,
Get thee back into the Tempest! Take with you your silly tie!
Leave no black hair as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave me by that window, that one, there, the one you came in by!
Take thy silly exclamation! Take thy silly kitten tie!’
Then ‘Oh, my.’ said George Takei.
And the maven, while he’s sitting, now is knitting, always knitting,
On that pallid bust of Pallas, sitting as he knits a tie.
And the eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
Over every kitten’s beaming grin on his new stupid tie.
Calming down, I think that maybe he’s an okay guy.
But then, ‘Oh my.’ said George Takei.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pr0n surfed, weak and weary,
Over many a strange and spurious site of “HOT XXX GALORE,”
While I clicked my fav’rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning,
And my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour:
“‘Tis not possible, I muttered, “Give me back my free hardcore!”
Quoth the server, “404.”
I don’t believe a no one has ever asked permission before touching my boobs. Frankly, I would have found it awkward if, in the middle of an intimate moment, someone were to ask.
Wow. That is one messy sentence. That was supposed to be “I don’t believe anyone has …” I think maybe I’m too tired to be posting comments on the interwebs just now.
You and I are of differing opinion, then. I love it when a guy waits for me to give permission. Maybe not every time we make out, but the first time we try something new, yeah; even if it is something as mundane as touching my boobs. To me, that shows respect which is insanely attractive for me.
Yo, most girls (at least most girls whose boobs I’ve touched) have never been that clear about it. There’s this whole dance you have to do. Goes a li’l somethin’ like this:
1) Making out.
2) Making out, slide hands up back.
3) Making out, slide hands up back inside shirt.
4) Making out, slide hands around while inside shirt so they’re touching belly.
5) Take a moment to enjoy the delicious belly. Bellies are wonderful things to touch.
6) Pull hands out of shirt. Move hands up to middle of ribcage. Rub beneath and to the sides of breasts.
7) If, at this point, she has not objected, ramp up making out. Then, while shit’s getting real and tongues may or may not be going at it like fuckin’ Yoda and Palpatine, place hands on breasts.
8) Don’t fucking move. If she doesn’t push your hands away, proceed to step 9.
9) BOOBIES.
Yeah, shit’s tricky when girls don’t be communicating.
I about lost it at the star wars reference. Kudo’s to you my man.
I am sorta the same way with the initial touch, its like freeze for a second or two then after that moment its all good.
Wow…you just very accurately described every makeout I’ve ever had (that got to that point). And I think that’s a great way to go…doesn’t make the moment awkward, but shows some temerity, which is sweet and respectful.
“To me, that shows respect which is insanely attractive for me.”
I just don’t equate someone not going”May I touch your boobs?” with a lack of respect. Personally, if someone’s close enough, relationship wise, to be touching my boobs, there have been plenty of chances to show me respect and if they hadn’t I wouldn’t be making out with them. I’m a go-with-what-feels-right type of person. If I stop to think, I over think and then I don’t want to be touched at all. If I don’t like or feel comfortable with what someone’s doing, I will let them know and they will either respect my boundaries and we can go from there or they can not, which has never actually happened, in which case they will never have the chance to do so again.
this scene has played out in every relationship iv ever been in. does that mean that me and walky are both oblivious guys? or just the best gentlemen ever?
You might be oblivious or she might be bad at communicating nonverbally. Or both. Gentlemanliness is all well and good, but if you’re already at the Tongue Olympics, it’s awfully hard to keep being dapper.
Ah, this strip brings back memories of my first boob grab, where I was so awkward that the gal had to literally take my hand and place it on her breast and command me to squeeze.
Yeah, been there, runnin the hands every which way, almost but not quite touching, only to have her grab a hand, put it in a place (not always the breast, either) and make some sort of nonverbal urging sound “HHRR!” which I assume translates to “Rub HERE. NOW.”
If you’re making out with a girl, touching of breasts is pretty much a given. Going for ass is expected. Nether region…may need to wait for cues on that one.
y’see i was thinking that the breast area was off limits until you got to the sex part of the relationship. the ass could be used for make outs but mostly as someplace to hold on. i guess i am that sheltered… i guess I’ll have a bit of fun figuring things out when the time comes…
I just realized I want this exact situation to happen when Steph comes back later this year to DC Canon. Apparently she and Tim are going to have a storyline anyway … plus Dorothy’s wearing purple!
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This comic hits a little too close to home for me.
Agreed.
Ditto
This reminds me of every date I’ve been on.
Oddly enough, same here.
I didn’t know there was ever a time where that was not allowed. Am I missing something, or has my life just been awesome?
It’s sexual assault if it’s unwanted.
I think you just have more relationship confidence than Walky.
Also, your name made me think of the “Red vs. Blue” character and my hasn’t this become a reference filled thread.
Except it’s not an alias – it’s an actual nickname in real life.
I was saying *my* reference to how you make me think of RvB is a reference – I’m not assuming that your name is inherently a reference to the series on its own.
Ah. I get that question a lot, so I tend to have a response prepped.
Bow chicka bow wow
Yup, sounds like the first girl I dated. She finally said pretty much the same thing.
It’s always nice to talk to people who can tell you straight up what they want.
Sounds like every date I have never been on
Yeah, I think there’s a lot of us who have either been Walky or Dot here… personally the former
“wtf, you mean I’m being too MUCH of a gentleman? well… all right!”
Totally been there.
Huh, never had this issue.
Though before I had my very first sexiness/dates I did quite a bit research
Again, Walky, you hit the jackpot. Just go with it.
If i was still in college……..
MAH BOOBEHS
I GIVE THEM TO YOU
TOUCH THEM, she commands it!
the power of boobs compel you!
Misfile?
It’s super effective.
Yes, Walky. It’s not often when a woman ask you to touch it.
Uh…
You know of more examples?
every day, cuz i’m a billionaire playboy
Most of my sex life?
OH MY!
My god…Plasma Mongoose is George Takei…it all makes sense!
SSHHIIEELLDDSS!!
CRIKEY!
Outside of some “sources”, no.
NSFW but yea here is one
http://www.menagea3.net/strips-ma3/phewthankgod
YAY!! SOMEONE ELSE THAT READS MENAGEA3!!!
One of my favourite webcomics.
Well, that adds one more thing to the list of shit I read instead of having a job… Thanks for that.
Don’t let the supposed lack of tactile appreciation fool you. As an expression of intimacy, ladies like getting their breasts touched as much as the guy likes touching them.
Not much of a turn-on for me. But to each their own.
Gender-ambiguous handles combined with random avatars make my brain hurt…
I had a girlfriend who could orgasm just from breast fondling. It was quite interesting.
is it possible she was just good at faking?
Ohh no, it was real, very, very real.
Pretty sure this varies a lot more on the female side than the male side, yeah.
Some of us do. Some of us really, really don’t.
She yelled it at him.
Mike is never awol. He’s just … preparing.
Great, now I’ll never be able to sleep again.
he’s ready to pounce, like those cats he stomped
Stomped to gain their power.
He strangled them AND stomped on them? This does not speak well for his strangling abilities.
Oh, Mike strangles just fine. The thing is, it’s hard to tell at first glance that a strangled cat is dead instead of merely asleep. A sound post-mortem stomping addresses that problem. Then, of course, Mike hides until he can see the inevitable cat-fancier come along and take in the scene. Their expression makes it all worthwhile.
And watching.
That would make a WONDERFUL shirt.
Wow. I have never been demanded to touch. I though I had to ask permission
I just want to say how much I love you for having a walrus as your av.
The Lolrus loves you too Taryn.
I know, right? I dunno if that says a lot about me or the girls I’m with, but…seriously.
You’re in college Walky. Everything is allowed.
Except booze.
But that won’t stop many students, especially the alcoholics.
But as for Walky, he just needs to be a gentleman now and do as the lady requests.
Especially if the lady requires his butt.
“College is cool, everything is permitted.”
Not mine.
Great reference. I’m definitely going to enjoy the next game this fall.
Is this supposed to be a play on “Nothing is True, Everything is Permitted?”
Are college Players the equivalent of Assasin’s? An is this there Creed WW?
“College is cool, everything is permitted.”
random reply with the intention of attempting to close the open italics flooding the rest of the comments below.
(and i failed)
Will this work?
Nope.
“There’s a time and a place for everything, and that time and place is college.”
nothing is true, everything is permitted, know this and you will go far in theta kappa delta. (there’s some sorority or something at my college that i can’t be arsed to remember the name of.)
I love these two so much. There was a time where I could have used such explicit instructions, too.
I think most of us have been in that position… hopefully the brain-mounted Google Glass 3.0 will give us real-time “relationship level” markers so this never has to happen again.
Or, you know, we get better at communicating boundaries, including when they change. Either or.
Communicating? Like some kind of… of… GROWN-UP?
TOUCH THEM NOW
Sometimes you don’t know that you can. Better safe than in a ditch near a dirt road in the middle of nowhere.
after all, every president needs at least one skeleton in their closet
PRE-MARITAL HANKY-PANKY!
OH NOES!
HUZZAH!!
Holy Cheese!
mmmmm… Swiss…
And my seething jealousy towards Walky further increases.
And my seething jealousy towards Dorothy further increases.
and my seething increases. someone please call a hospital
Only if it lasts longer than four hours.
Throw your dollar bills and leave your thrills all here with me
And speak but don’t pretend I won’t defend you anymore you see
It aches in every bone, I’ll die alone, but not for you
My eyes don’t need to see that ugly thing, I know it’s me you fear
If you want me hold me back
I’m with Walky on this one. That was actually allowed?
One at a time or both at once?
It’s tough for us guys. Girls can cop a feel and we don’t mind, but we have to be cautious because we don’t want to be thought of negatively.
I don’t know… I don’t allow just any girl to touch my moobs, I’m not a cheap hussy after all.
Then are you an expensive hussy?
Possibly just a reasonably ranged hussy.
But not an Andrew Hussie.
This ^
Yes I’m way overpriced.
Hey, don’t talk like that. You’re *Premium*. Upsell, upsell, upsell!
I know, it’s a total double standard! This rampant misandry has got me so hot under the collar! Grahh!
Um, it’s not really misandry so much as a stereotype. He didn’t mean bad even if what he said was kind of presumptuous. Please try not to throw that accusation around so lightly, especially if you’re going to get it wrong. (Not that you meant to I’m sure.)
the stereotype is still misandry at it’s core. just because we don’t care doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be a problem that needs to be addressed.
okay yes it does. but in all realities the ones who hurt from this particular double standard are women, if you don’t respect us and our physical privacy then how can you ever expect us to respect yours?
Not really. To be misandristic the notion has to be supported by a hatred of men. This steryotype is harmful, but iffy on its intentions I don’t think everyone who thinks that way hates men so much as they are mistaken.
Also, one wrong does not justify another. Even if all women everywhere decided to violate a man today, (not that they necessarily ever would) it would still be wrong to do the same back to them. It would simply lower ourselves down to the level of every other person who violated someone else, and those people were always wrong. (Sorry. Rant.)
Speak for your self.
Eh. I don’t cop feels from my boyfriend just because I can. Consent is a two way street.
Um, yeah… I’m pretty sure I have standards concerning who, where, and when I get felt up, just as I’m sure that there are probably some girls who don’t mind at all, but you never know so best to at least be making out first or something before you try your hand.
If you were wrong when you were already getting intimate, it’s an honest mistake. If you were wrong when it was out of nowhere, you’re being a real jerk, gender regardless.
This has been eating at me for quite some time now and mister banner up there has reminded me. Is Joe related to the young photographer who captured the famous Mt. Suribachi flag raising of WWII?
Go for it Walky, she orders you. NOW.
Joe has always been “Joe,” but later I borrowed his last name from one of my friends. It’s merely a coincidence.
Hmm, interesting. Slightly disappointing, but very good to know. Thank you.
Wow just wow.
Also Meet the pyro was finally released today.
Yeah and it was awesome.
Is that another sequel to “Meet the Parents”?
No, it’s a new trailer for Team Fortress 2.
It’s a Team Fortess 2 squel to “Meet the Parents”.
it was awful, valve shouldn’t have done that to the pyro…
This is the tale of a gentleman and a scholar…
Good, Walky. Having to be told once that you’re allowed can be charming. Don’t let yourself cross the line into “timid” though. You gotta be willing to make a move on your own some time.
Appropriate avatar is appropriate.
But yeah, that’s the truth. I love this comic here cause it totally happened to me, hence I find it *hilarious*! I took the hint and went along with it, hopefully Walky does the same!
I don’t know, trying to steal third can lead to an easy out.
I am highly amused at Walky’s reaction. I am also feeling somewhat ambivalent towards Dorothy right now. I mean, her break-up was how long ago and she’s already going this far with someone else…? *shrug* Eh, whatevs, Dottie.
Uh, yeah- her breakup is done, and it’s pretty clear she’d moved on by the time it happened anyway. She’s really supposed to wait a requisite week or whatever for the breakup to become “final?”
It was a relatively clean break-up, Walky’s not one of Danny’s friends, and Danny has started seeing other people. I’d say she’s in the clear in any way that matters and many that don’t.
Also, it’s been a week. More than, even. Mind the timeskip.
This is old, but I want you to know you are an asshole. Judging Dorothy for her consensual sexual encounters is shitty and leads me to believe you may have a problem with women. JSYK
This exact type of situation happened to me during high school. I was too scared to touch, even though she wanted it. The folly of youth!
Sounds like the time for a new Walkyface avatar!
Also, clueless Walky is…Walky.
Generally my reaction at that point, too. I usually need forms signed in triplicate before I can touch anything.
Also:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5B5NMN7GBA4
The rules have changed mid-game!
I for one, like these rule changes.
Bedroom Calvinball FTW!!
Bedroom Calvinball would be awesome.
In Bedroom Calvinball, “the score is still Q to 12” takes on a whole new meaning.
Bedroom Calvinball?
Fund it!
Dorothy, please that you are as smart as you claim. You have a level of experience that Walky completely lacks. Guide and instruct the neophyte. This will reduce the stress level and will make sure that he don’t develop any bad habits.
(I want to see if either of them tweet about this.)
Strips like this are what make me love this comic. And this strip is surprisingly true to life. Lolz.
Also, I like how Dorothy is not at all fazed by Mike going out to strangle cats. They already know him so well.
Quoth the Raven: oh my.
Also, strangling cats: not cool, man.
Now I want, nay, must have a version of “The Raven” with the part of the raven played by George Takei.
The annoying thing about memorising long poems like The Raven is that when someone mentions the poem, you feel like you must respond. Let me start with just one stanza, to check the formatting. This one is unchanged (except maybe punctuation, which I can’t remember), because Takei has not yet made an appearance.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
”Tis some visitor,’ I muttered, ‘tapping at my chamber door.
Only this, and nothing more.’
That’s probably as good as it’s going to get.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
”Tis some visitor,’ I muttered, ‘tapping at my chamber door.
Only this, and nothing more.’
Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost Lenore –
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore –
Nameless here for evermore.
And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me, filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before,
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
”Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door,
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door.
This it is, and nothing more.’
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
‘Sir,’ said I, ‘or madam, truly your forgiveness I implore,
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you.’ Here I opened wide the door-
Darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before,
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word ‘Lenore’.
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word ‘Lenore’.
Merely this, and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping, something louder than before.
‘Surely,’ said I, ‘Surely that is coming from my window lattice.
Let me see then what thereat is, and this mystery explore.
Let my heart be still a moment, and this mystery explore.
‘Tis the wind, and nothing more.’
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately man who speaks the words you wrote before,
Not the least obeisance made he, not a minute stopped or stayed he,
But, with mien of lord or lady, leaped upon the chamber door,
Leaped upon the bust of Pallas just above my chamber door
Leaped and sat, and nothing more.
Then, this George Takei beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
By his grave and stern decorum as he wore a silly tie,
‘Though thy hair be partly shaven, thou’, I said, ‘art sure no craven,
Ghastly, grim, but not a craven. That, I’m sure, would be a lie.
Tell me what thy lordly name is, what am I to call you by?’
Then ‘Oh, my.’ said George Takei.
Much I marvelled this ungainly man to hear discourse so plainly,
Though his answer little meaning, little relevancy bore,
Still, we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing man above his chamber door –
Man or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door –
As I spoke of just before.
But, the maven, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only
Those two words, as if in those two words his very soul did lie.
Nothing farther then he uttered, not a syllable he stuttered,
‘Til I scarcely more than muttered, ‘Other friends did once stop by.
On the morrow he will leave me, and my hopes once more shall die.
Then the maven said, “Oh, my.”
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
‘Doubtless,’ said I, ‘what he utters is his only stock and store,
Speaking of a poorly master, whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster ’til his songs one burden bore –
‘Til the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of never – nevermore.
Then, the maven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of man, and bust, and tie,
Then upon the velvet sinking I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this strange eccentric guy –
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and strange eccentric guy –
Meant when he pronounced, “Oh, my.”
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the man whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core.
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion’s velvet lining with the lamplight gloating o’er –
But, whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o’er
She shall press, ah, nevermore!
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer,
Swung by Seraphim whose presence I detected quite close by.
‘Wretch!’ I cried, ‘Thy God hath lent thee! By these angels he hath sent thee!
Respite! Respite and nepenthe when I watch this crazy guy!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe! Thank you, crazy guy Takei!’
Then ‘Oh, my.’ said George Takei.
‘Prophet!’ said I, ‘Thing of evil! Prophet still, if man or devil,
Whether Tempter sent or Heaven’s angel, with white wings to fly
Through the window, all undaunted, into desert land enchanted,
Into home with horror haunted, tell me truly, George Takei –
Is there – Is there balm in Gilead? Tell me, tell me, crazy guy!’
Then ‘Oh, my.’ said George Takei.
‘Prophet!’ said I, ‘Thing of evil! Prophet still, if man or devil,
By that Heaven that bends above us, by that land beyond the sky,
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden, who quite recently did die –
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, who quite recently did die.’
Then ‘Oh, my.’ said George Takei.
‘Be that word our sign of parting, man or fiend!’ I shrieked, up-starting,
Get thee back into the Tempest! Take with you your silly tie!
Leave no black hair as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave me by that window, that one, there, the one you came in by!
Take thy silly exclamation! Take thy silly kitten tie!’
Then ‘Oh, my.’ said George Takei.
And the maven, while he’s sitting, now is knitting, always knitting,
On that pallid bust of Pallas, sitting as he knits a tie.
And the eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
Over every kitten’s beaming grin on his new stupid tie.
Calming down, I think that maybe he’s an okay guy.
But then, ‘Oh my.’ said George Takei.
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pr0n surfed, weak and weary,
Over many a strange and spurious site of “HOT XXX GALORE,”
While I clicked my fav’rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning,
And my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour:
“‘Tis not possible, I muttered, “Give me back my free hardcore!”
Quoth the server, “404.”
well done! bravo!
I second the “Not cool” part.
Walky The Innocent. Be gentle Dorothy.
Then feed him to the Sharkticons!
When I started reading that sentence I thought it was going to say “Then feed him McNuggets.”
I don’t even know why.
poetic justice?
Drat! My gravatar didn’t change over.
Looks like it has now.
I am fairly certain that this new Walky-face will be haunting my dreams tonight.
Mike being Away WithOut Leave would suggest that she wants him around. Does she enjoy an audience or something?
This is my life.
I don’t believe a no one has ever asked permission before touching my boobs. Frankly, I would have found it awkward if, in the middle of an intimate moment, someone were to ask.
Wow. That is one messy sentence. That was supposed to be “I don’t believe anyone has …” I think maybe I’m too tired to be posting comments on the interwebs just now.
You’d find it awkward if someone paused for a moment to ask, “Is it okay?” before doing so?
Yes. Yes, would. It would pull me out of the moment and back in to my thinking brain where all the awkward anxieties and touching issues live.
You and I are of differing opinion, then. I love it when a guy waits for me to give permission. Maybe not every time we make out, but the first time we try something new, yeah; even if it is something as mundane as touching my boobs. To me, that shows respect which is insanely attractive for me.
Yo, most girls (at least most girls whose boobs I’ve touched) have never been that clear about it. There’s this whole dance you have to do. Goes a li’l somethin’ like this:
1) Making out.
2) Making out, slide hands up back.
3) Making out, slide hands up back inside shirt.
4) Making out, slide hands around while inside shirt so they’re touching belly.
5) Take a moment to enjoy the delicious belly. Bellies are wonderful things to touch.
6) Pull hands out of shirt. Move hands up to middle of ribcage. Rub beneath and to the sides of breasts.
7) If, at this point, she has not objected, ramp up making out. Then, while shit’s getting real and tongues may or may not be going at it like fuckin’ Yoda and Palpatine, place hands on breasts.
8) Don’t fucking move. If she doesn’t push your hands away, proceed to step 9.
9) BOOBIES.
Yeah, shit’s tricky when girls don’t be communicating.
I about lost it at the star wars reference. Kudo’s to you my man.
I am sorta the same way with the initial touch, its like freeze for a second or two then after that moment its all good.
Whoa, it turned my eight close paren into a coolface.
I’m so okay with this…
Really, I had a mental picture of Yoda and Palpatine tongue kissing, and it freaked me out.
Wow…you just very accurately described every makeout I’ve ever had (that got to that point). And I think that’s a great way to go…doesn’t make the moment awkward, but shows some temerity, which is sweet and respectful.
“To me, that shows respect which is insanely attractive for me.”
I just don’t equate someone not going”May I touch your boobs?” with a lack of respect. Personally, if someone’s close enough, relationship wise, to be touching my boobs, there have been plenty of chances to show me respect and if they hadn’t I wouldn’t be making out with them. I’m a go-with-what-feels-right type of person. If I stop to think, I over think and then I don’t want to be touched at all. If I don’t like or feel comfortable with what someone’s doing, I will let them know and they will either respect my boundaries and we can go from there or they can not, which has never actually happened, in which case they will never have the chance to do so again.
I love how none of these gravitate reflect the correct genders of the people posting
Just poke ’em, Walky.
Billie was right. He’ll never get a girlfriend this way.
this scene has played out in every relationship iv ever been in. does that mean that me and walky are both oblivious guys? or just the best gentlemen ever?
You might be oblivious or she might be bad at communicating nonverbally. Or both. Gentlemanliness is all well and good, but if you’re already at the Tongue Olympics, it’s awfully hard to keep being dapper.
Any chance we can get a cut of just Walky from panel 6? cause i’m pretty sure there are memes to be made.
Panel 6, totally has happened before. Wait a minute you said that . . . I treat some of my past relationships more like diplomatic treaties though.
Sometimes, hearing Dotty speaking with the voice of Fionna from Adventure Time gets… weird.
Was.
Ah, this strip brings back memories of my first boob grab, where I was so awkward that the gal had to literally take my hand and place it on her breast and command me to squeeze.
That’s like a bad erotic fanfiction.
Dear Penthouse, you’ll never guess what happened to me!
BOW CHICKA WOW WOW
Must say, I’d have preferred (and expected) a little more ‘hands on’ instruction in the situation. Words are so – blunt.
Mike is gone, but his cameras aren’t.
SO ROMANTIC!
Sounds like she’s ready to be kissed, and then touched.
*thumbsup*
Wait… Willis actually doing the thumbs up from his gravatar? I feel like I’m present at some kind of historic moment right now.
God, that’s why I like Walky so much. I am Walky. That shit actually happened to me my freshman year of college. *Facepalms*
Yeah, been there, runnin the hands every which way, almost but not quite touching, only to have her grab a hand, put it in a place (not always the breast, either) and make some sort of nonverbal urging sound “HHRR!” which I assume translates to “Rub HERE. NOW.”
YES MA’AM
I keep.comparing my love life to the one of a fictional character and I find myself having less of one than Walky.
Thats very sad isn’t it?
Same for me. I know my love life sucks when even the most socially awkward of fictional characters have better love lives than me.
Only if he isn’t actually having one.
Good to know I’m not the only one whos had this experience.
I felt about the same as Walky.
I applaud Walky for not just assuming it was allowed, but once you find out, you just go with it, dude.
Good thing Buckets of Blood guy didn’t hear that. He’d chop them right off of her.
Ummm…. MAYBE that’s true depending on Buckets of Blood guy’s sanity, but what would even prompt you to start thinking about
Actually, nevermind. I’m okay not knowing.
If you’re making out with a girl, touching of breasts is pretty much a given. Going for ass is expected. Nether region…may need to wait for cues on that one.
Either I’m a really old-fashioned sixteen year old boy, or you likely have a criminal record… I think I’ll go with the former.
y’see i was thinking that the breast area was off limits until you got to the sex part of the relationship. the ass could be used for make outs but mostly as someplace to hold on. i guess i am that sheltered… i guess I’ll have a bit of fun figuring things out when the time comes…
So to speak.
We must save the kitties.
He never stops to be a gentleman.
I just realized I want this exact situation to happen when Steph comes back later this year to DC Canon. Apparently she and Tim are going to have a storyline anyway … plus Dorothy’s wearing purple!