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NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! NEANDERTHAL FINGERPRINT! 🤯
www.theguardian.com/science/2025...
Patrick Willems @patrickhwillems.bsky.social ⋅ 1m
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️𝓝𝓪𝓷𝓲 
I WILL BEAT THOSE MATHS WITH WHEELIES
I WILL BEAT THOSE MATHS WITH MATHS.
I WILL BEAT THOSE MATHS WITH MY HAMMERS OF JUSTICE.
I WILL BEAT THOSE MATHS WITH…BEETS?
I WILL MATH THEM WITH BEATS!
GET FUNKY.
I WILL BEAT THOSE MATHS WITH REDEMPTION!!!
BEAT THEM WITH THEIR OWN KIND!
I WILL BEAT THEIR OWN KIND WITH MATHS!
I WILL MATH THEIR BEATS IN THE FAAAAACE!
I WILL FACE THEIR MATHS WITH MY FIST!
Quick Sal, while you’re on a roll, launch into a tirade about how they favoured your brother.
While leaving out the whole armed robbery thing to boot.
In spite of himself, Jason may be a better tutor than everyone seems to think so far. Sal may have found needed motivation to get something out of being able to attend a 4-Year University, if only to prove her parents and everyone else she’s bongoing about wrong.
But can she, as they say, close the deal? Only time will tell…
I read that as “how they flavoured your brother”.
Like caramel, of course.
I knew someone was gonna make that joke.
Here’s 5 cents Sal, go see Lucy down the street.
No, Lucy is horrible psychiatrist.
You get what you pay for I guess.
It all makes sense now…
Five sense, in fact!
Sal seems to have a phobia of failure. Lucy can help her with that with her “pulling the football out of the way” exercise.
But her certificate is legit! written on cardboard and everything!
Careful, you don’t know what Mike might have done with that nickel.
she can see mikes mom for that price!
Heh, when I read “Mike’s mom” I don’t think “the woman who gave birth to him” – I think “the mom Mike is currently banging”.
Jazz hands!
Kudos to you for updating on Christmas
I’m pretty sure Dumbing of Age has a one-month buffer. With the right scripts, the rest if the year could have been uploaded last week and will only show up on the right days.
oh….wel that sort of destroys the magic
I wonder what Sal does for a living? That bike couldn’t be cheap that’s for sure.
She’s Batman and thus filthy rich.
She’s every superhero ever.
go go cage dancer
At first, I read that like you were channelling Inspector Gadget.
Oh, and Merry Christmas to you Willis and all the DoA readers!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, folks. BTW, Sal is a textbook example of a Determinator.
She is in denial that she has a problem.
What if your only problem is that you are in denial about having a problem?
Then Captain Kirk uses you to kill supercomputers.
But wouldn’t being in denial about having a problem require you to have a problem in the first place?
And Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!
I get the feeling this Jason is not the first Jason in the multiverse to say this to a Sal.
I have a feeling that tonight’s gonna be a good night. That tonight’s gonna be a goodnight. That tonight’s gonna be a good good night.
Wooooooooohoo- BLAM! -thud-
Somebody photoshop some kanye west venetian sunglasses and a microphone into the last panel of the comic.
Why am I commenting on christmas eve?
Nonetheless, Sal’s toothier than I’ve ever seen her in the comic. xD
Poor Sal. I know the feeling. Sometimes it’s not true, other times it’s so true you wonder if the people you’re trying to please are pod-people.
I! AM! NOT! A! MORON!
You’re not. A genius.
You’re not. A genius.
THIS! IS! SPARTA!
No, it’s actually Bloomington.
GODDAMMIT!
Merry Christmas and/or the equivalent to you all.
Wonder if Sal needs therapy anymore than we do? She is after all in school. We are sitting on line on Christmas Eve after midnight.
Oh dear God. What have we unleashed?
For some reason I feel like this is a cunning plan to incite Sal to work crazy hard to pass.
If I’m right, I’m going to feel very clever for a few minutes.
I already cooked Xmas lunch today, it’s hard to beat a well cooked turkey log.
I was gonna make some comment about the strip, but since I am in Bolivia on Christmas, thousands of miles from home in Germany, I just wanna thank you all for making me feel less alone.
I suppose I should reply, then, and reinforce the feeling of non-isolation.
I think someone needs a hug.
Oh God I know the feeling. Keep at it, Sal. Only way you can truly prove them right with any degree of finality is if you quit. It’s not about the speed it’s about the constant forward motion. When you can’t win in the first few rounds you’ve just gotta turn it into an endurance match.
It’s like Adam Warrock says. “Now I’m back to change the story and I’m back to make it mine and I’m back to switch the history offered to me by the gods and the creators who’s hands touched the divine.”
You stop now this will always be the story of an idiot. A story where they were right about you. You’ve gotta keep going until this is retroactively the story of an intelligent person who was still figuring shit out. They won’t just start being wrong about you. They will have always been wrong about you.
I know I’m just proving my name right at this point, but… this might very easily be the hottest I’ve ever seen Sal. Just sayin’.
We get Jason and Sal for Christmas. I’m quite happy about this. Thanks, Willis!
Sal, we love you no matter what your grades are.
So she “picked up” the drawl? I was kinda wondering why she talked that way when Walky doesn’t.
And having sex with a prissy British guy counts as therapy.
Come on, Sal, you know you want to.
Also, Merry Christmas.
And I still ship them just as hard as I did through IW <3
No comments on Sal’s stated desire to run over her own parents? I think if she knew what had happened in that other universe, she’d be more than a little chagrined.
I’m really really hoping for some crazy wacky montage or scene where she ends up turning into an English lady due to his training. College iiiis a place to reinvent yourself.
“Th’ rain in spain stays mainly in th’ plain…”
I, too, used to be too proud to drop a class I wasn’t doing well in.
Then I took a 19 credit semester.
Sal, take a simpler math course. Dorothy said Walky was off to Calculus. In college I took “Applied Math” and “Principles of Calculus.”
Math is hard for some people, I needed more foundation.
There’s no need to be embarrassed if you can’t jump in right away.
I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M LECTURING MY COMPUTER SCREEN.
oh noes, that rage face in the last panel. The next person who pisses Sal off is so dead.
Just don’t go to Mike for that therapy, you won’t be able to look at the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the same way ever again.
So where DID Sal pick up that Southern drawl? I just realized when she said so that it had to have been acquired, since her brother doesn’t have one.
Got shipped off to boarding school in Tennessee.
My headcanon voice for Sal is identical to Sandy’s from Spongebob.