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Hunter S Schafer @bolt451.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
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New game! BOLTED 
Barb O. Saur 
LOOSEN UP JOYCE DON’T YOU KNOW JESUS USED TO KISS MARY MAGDALENE ON THE
On the what?
On the Good Ship Lollypop of cause.
On the pie hole?
Wouldn’t that be IN the pie-hole?
Frenching the pie-hole? A tourtière.
and he kissed Judas even after he cheated on him with the Romans
It was all a big misunderstanding. Judas was actually a prostitute. He only turned Jesus in to the Romans because, unlike them, he didn’t pay Judas.
Oh god that’s hilarious!
It puts lotion on the skin.
Nah, the McNugget hole in this case.
“The Good Ship Lollypop”? Is that what kids are calling that nowadays?
On the road to Jerusalem, of course.
Maybe it’s just my computer, but the image looks really rough.
Also, Walky says what we’re all thinking.
I agree, I thought it was my computer as well
But I looked at the past strip and the line art was nice and smooth, this one isn’t for some reason.
It was actually an unshrunk version of the file being rendered by the website at the usual size, causing the roughness. It is fixed! And now it is no longer 2megs large.
Yeah, it looks much better now. Thank you!
It’s only a guess but maybe he accidently turned off the anti-aliasing when he drew it.
Joyce wants more than a smooch.
Muchos smooches
PRE-MARITAL HANKY PANKY.
(feels good to be back.)
Lot and lots of it.
Maybe.
Saying ‘premarital hanky-panky’ to Joe = Saying ‘bacon’ to anyone in the IN/OH/KY tri-state area.
Hi, as someone in that tristate area I find your generalization both hilariously on the nose and patently offensive, being one of the few I know for whom eating bacon, except as an ingredient in something else, isn’t really a thing I enjoy.
Joyce wants throbbing man-meat.
Don’t be silly. Joyce has so far only been seen chasing women.
Well, women and Jews. And motorcycles.
Quick, someone pitch a Jewish transman on a motorcycle character, so all bases are covered
Lots and lots of it.
Silly Walky, if joyce wants some caramel, she can get what she needs from Sal.
I hear the breaking of a champagne bottle over the bow of a new ship.
I’m just obeying the law of Schrödinger’s Lesbians.
So you can either see them or know where they are, but not at the same time?
Schrödinger’s Lesbians: In any off-panel scene, any two female characters could be making out/having sex.
Until you collapse the waveform and discover they’re doing both!
Or neither. That seems to happen sometimes, oddly enough.
No, no, that’s Heisenberg’s Uncertain Lesbians.
I’m fairly certain that Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Lesbians is the principle behind women experimenting with lesbianism in college.
This demands fanart, preferably the type that demands a SMUT WITHOUT WARNING label.
If there’s a label, isn’t that a warning?
No, because you have to scroll down past the image before you see the label.
It’s a tradition. Just go with it.
Yes, but smooch who?
The fact that your comment is immediately followed by Doctor_Who’s is priceless.
He can wait his turn. The line goes ’round the block!
And I thought walking a mile in your enemy’s shoes was supposed to be a valuable learning experience?
Maybe he hasn’t hit the mile mark yet.
Nah.
But it means that you’re a mile away, and you’ve got his shoes.
and now your nemesis is gonna have to walk that mile without his shoes to get them back. that’s gonna give you a big advantage over him BWA HA HA!
She’s so jealous right now, she’s gonna go find Ethan and make out with him in front of them. That’ll show ’em.
He shouldn’t be too hard to find, just locate any nearby glass closets.
As soon as she got him there I bet Walky and Dotty would both ask her if she know’s he’s gay.
Yeah, and he’ll enjoy it about as much as she will
Joyce and Dorothy Licky-Style makeout needs to happen now!
I’ve been saying this for months.
Threesomes only. Every licky style should have a minimum amount of 1 part caramel.
You mean your arch-nemesis?
ba dump tissss
STARS.
I think Walky’s not as naive as he acts sometimes, just a bit insensitive maybe.
NOW KISS
Y U NO KISS?
ME WANT A KISS
FOR A NICKEL
FROM MIKE
EVEN THOUGH IM A VIRGIN
Are you a Mum though?
Okay, welp, I think it’s time to ask- who just shipped Mary of Bethlehem with Mike? He doesn’t care if it’s immaculate conception, as long as you have a child he can brag about it to, he’s up for it.
Though we will have to figure out the exchange rate from a nickle.
Give to Mike what is his.
I’m really getting sick of Joyce’s “high and mighty” bullshit. This is why I dislike heavily religious christian girls. I use to date one and I wasn’t even allowed to TOUCH her until the 6th month. and that was only sleeping NEXT to each other in my bed, which she spent an hour after waking up crying and praying. Like HONESTLY, not EVERYONE takes the bible word for word. FUCK! I hate Joyce. She’s my LEAST liked character.
Have you ever read ‘It’s Walky’?
Yes and I still hate her at every point in that series.
You know, it’s not just that. The way I see it is that
1. Joyce is jealous. She kinda wanted Dorothy all to herself. I think there’s something in the archive that backs this up.
2. She dislikes Walky. Seeing her friend with someone she doesn’t think is worth her time is judgmental, but I can’t say I’ve never felt the same way, and I doubt I’m alone. Or in the minority. She’s actually acting on it by looking disgusted, but still.
Seriously, it doesn’t always have to be about a person’s religion. There’s at least 3 reasons why Joyce is making that face. You’re taking this WAY too personally.
Seriously? You’re the one who dated a girl who cried after sleeping clothed next to you for six months (or more). Ever think maybe the problem wasn’t that she was super religious, but that you expected her to be someone she’s not? But that would take too much self-reflection. Easier just to blame her.
Just because he’s Dorothy’s ex, doesn’t mean that he’s your nemesis Walky. I mean, he’s not actively try to kill or humiliate you now is he?
But just think if Danny decided to do just that. He might become what Dotty is in the other universe. Whatatwist!
Well, he may team up with the other ex’s, then Walky could be in trouble.
Danny’s like a single marshmallow to Walky’s bonfire. Not that Walky is all that, but nearly everyone is a blazing fire in comparison to Danny Marshmallow…he couldn’t arch Dina.
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE
I don’t care if the line is actually relevant or not; I just use it at every opportunity.
So… it has come to this.
You finally, really did it.
The time is now. [Also a useless response to “What’s the time?”]
I am the Walrus…?
No, you are the time lord.
Now come to me, the Assassin of Time… THE CHRONO TRIGGER!!!
I choose you! Pikachu!
Jack in!!
Megaman, Execute!
JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AAAAAAAAM?
Metal bawkses!
We shall finish this …..by playing a childrens card game….ON MOTORCYCLES!!!!!!
What have I DONE?
What’s happening people – talk to me!
I don’t think Danny is Nemesis, Walky. He didn’t even say “STARS” once.
Now I’m confused… who is gonna end at the center of a harem? Dorothy or Walky?
It’s usually Danny…
Perhaps this time, it’ll be Joyce. Whatatwist!
Dina of course.
“Who’s gonna end at the center of a harem?” sounds like a line in a song cut from Mary Poppins – I can hear Julie Andrews singing this…IN MY HEEAADDD!
I choose to ship Joyce with EVERYONE!!
Glasseo x Joyce OTP
I can’t for the life of me explain it, but Dotty’s expression in Panel #2 is very bothersome.
It appears that someone has inexplicably leaned sticks haphazardly against the length of the railing (see panel 2 for background close-up).
“I’ve had just about enough of your attitude, mister!” – Imaginary David Willis, fresh from an epic smack-down of an unthinking critic a few strips back (except that one was real).
To this I say, “AND THE CAMPUS IS ALSO OVERRUN WITH CREATURES WHICH HAVE FACELESS EGGS FOR HEADS.”
No, no, I meant it in the best way. They’re lovely sticks, and lovely faceless egg-headed creatures. In a comic with unfailingly excellent drawing, colouring, plot, punchlines, consistency, and little changes like Joyce’s newly rolled-up sleeves which I could have mentioned instead of pointing out unimportant background details.
Oh, by the way – I see that Joyce has rolled up her sleeves. I am… not sure why. She had them as normal when she entered the building. Wait… Sal took off her jacket recently as well. I have two theories:
1. There has been a sudden increase in temperature during the day, and the sensible people are reacting accordingly (i.e. not Walky).
2. The comic is waning popularity, and this is the start of a subtle movement toward putting female characters in increasingly little clothing to drive up the male readership.
Not only is Joyce showing slightly more skin, but she is also holding her books in such a way as to squeeze her boobs together.
Your theory is showing merit!
Joyce is setting the bar pretty low for what constitutes “showing some skin.” Foul seductress, tempt me not with your forearms!
Hey I happen to think that a girls forearms are very sexy.
Sal wears a jacket cause she rides a motorcycle but its not cold indoors. Joyce dressed too warmly and is regretting it now that the sun is out. Walky is just wierd.
Sorry, Walky.
I don’t think you’re going to get then to lesbian for you. ;P
If Dotty doesn’t do it, that means Walky has to do it himself, nad you know what that means!
Threesomes!!!
THE HOLY TRINITY!
Joyce for closeted lesbian 2013
I support this statement 100%
I say smooch her even if she doesn’t want it.
It’ll give her something else to think about!
Like legal charges!
Do it. Do it.
Dooooo it.
Do it.
That Gravatar makes your comment 300% creepier.
Come on Grace, even you have to admit that threesomes would surely solve more problem than they would cause with this bunch.
Them caramel abs got her feeling all funny.
Ah, kissing. Or, as Joyce might put it, “tonguing the lustwolf”.
David Walkers on vs the dummy-verse