Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

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September 20, 2023

Worse

by David M Willis on December 24, 2012 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - If the Shoe Splits

└ Tags: jason, jennifer, joyce, sal, walky

Discussion (83) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    December 24, 2012 at 12:02 am | #

    Tutor less with your HOTNESS

    (or not)

  2. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 24, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

    Sal really is just like Walky.

    • Resne
      Resne
      December 24, 2012 at 1:09 am | #

      I think Walky is less likely to deck you for saying that.

    • gangler
      gangler
      December 24, 2012 at 4:17 am | #

      Last I heard Walky was getting positively wonderful grades. He’s baffled by why anybody halfway intelligent would ever need to study here.

  3. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    December 24, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

    And then she punched him so hard he stopped being English and turned French.

    • GrrArg42
      GrrArg42
      December 24, 2012 at 2:15 am | #

      Right in the crown jewels.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 24, 2012 at 4:26 am | #

      I wonder if that sort of thing happens to Canadians a lot.

    • Rodrigo
      Rodrigo
      December 25, 2012 at 11:59 pm | #

      LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL You sir, made my day.

  4. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    December 24, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    First name basis with the teach eh?

    • Pyr05
      Pyr05
      December 24, 2012 at 12:13 am | #

      Teacher’s aide.

    • Cholma
      Cholma
      December 24, 2012 at 12:14 am | #

      Teaching Assistant, I believe. (or whatever they’re called)

      • desolation0
        desolation0
        December 24, 2012 at 10:04 am | #

        Australopithecus ordochartus

        • JT
          JT
          December 24, 2012 at 10:56 am | #

          Congrats, you stumped google.

  5. Aizat
    Aizat
    December 24, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    Billie, Walky is like a five year old.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 24, 2012 at 12:10 am | #

      A five year old who’s getting more action than she is.

      • ShadowWing Tronix
        ShadowWing Tronix
        December 24, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

        That…just sounds wrong. Chris Hanson wrong.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          December 24, 2012 at 12:15 am | #

          Kids today… 😛

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          December 24, 2012 at 12:17 am | #

          Miss Keener? Have a seat right over there.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        December 24, 2012 at 12:13 am | #

        That’s gotta sting.

        • Wonder Wig
          Wonder Wig
          December 24, 2012 at 12:28 am | #

          Walky glows blue when there’s Ruths nearby.

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            December 24, 2012 at 12:37 am | #

            So does that make Billie the Goblin Cleaver?

            • begbert2
              begbert2
              December 24, 2012 at 2:22 pm | #

              More like the Gobblin’ Cleavage.

              • Kernanator
                Kernanator
                December 24, 2012 at 7:17 pm | #

                Aw yeah, gimme five!

      • John
        John
        December 24, 2012 at 12:19 am | #

        Eh, Billie’s girlfriend could beat up Walky’s girlfriend.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          December 24, 2012 at 12:20 am | #

          But can she beat up Walky’s sister?

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            December 24, 2012 at 12:31 am | #

            Has Batman ever been beaten?

            • Yotomoe
              Yotomoe
              December 24, 2012 at 12:33 am | #

              …yeah…kinda.

              • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
                DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
                December 24, 2012 at 3:20 pm | #

                Depends how you rate the Joker’s approach to supervilliany. It can be argued that Batman has yet to accomplish anything more than acceptable setbacks against his carnage…
                Arkham City notwithstanding.

                • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
                  DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
                  December 24, 2012 at 3:22 pm | #

                  Also, Bane during the Knightfall arc. FEEL DE VENOOOM!!

          • Kernanator
            Kernanator
            December 24, 2012 at 12:49 am | #

            Can she beat up herself?

            Yes.

            • Zababcd
              Zababcd
              December 24, 2012 at 5:12 am | #

              Exactly… I accept Ruth as a confusing spanner in the works, but Sal will always be Billie’s real girlfriend.

          • John
            John
            December 24, 2012 at 2:31 am | #

            Tough question. But in this universe, Sal is just an ordinary human, while Ruth is a Canadian, with the feral strength of the wild that implies, so I’m going with “yes”.

            • Rokku
              Rokku
              December 24, 2012 at 8:15 am | #

              You… haven’t met many Canadians, have you?

              • begbert2
                begbert2
                December 24, 2012 at 2:24 pm | #

                They hide it well. The politeness people talk about? That’s just how it comes across when they’re holding back their horrific strength with razor-wire self control.

  6. Pyr05
    Pyr05
    December 24, 2012 at 12:14 am | #

    “It seems my tutoring has only caused you to not pay attention to a word I say.” “Sorry, what? I wasn’t payin’ attention.” “Precisely.” “…..What?”

  7. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    December 24, 2012 at 12:15 am | #

    The Top Ten Things You Never Want To Hear From Your Tutor.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 24, 2012 at 12:19 am | #

      “I hope you wash those pants before you return them to me”.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 24, 2012 at 12:26 am | #

      “Now, do you want a normal tutoring, or the Deluxe Tutoring with Happy Ending?”

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      December 24, 2012 at 12:30 am | #

      “You want to do this the easy way or the hard way?”

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 24, 2012 at 12:31 am | #

      “I got a call from the clinic, you’re going to need to get tested”.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      December 24, 2012 at 12:32 am | #

      “I’m pregnant…and you’re the father”

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      December 24, 2012 at 12:34 am | #

      “I think I left my whip in your room.”

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 24, 2012 at 12:35 am | #

      “Now if you open your book to page Q and look at number Y, bubble in 17 for the answer.”

    • Wonder Wig
      Wonder Wig
      December 24, 2012 at 12:37 am | #

      “Turn to page three hundred and ninety-four.”

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 24, 2012 at 12:38 am | #

      “My wife found out about the ‘tutorials’ and she set your bike on fire”.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      December 24, 2012 at 12:41 am | #

      “Now remember, cheating is not only welcomed, they’re allowed.”

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 24, 2012 at 1:04 am | #

      THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

    • Absolom
      Absolom
      December 24, 2012 at 1:34 am | #

      “Why is a raven like a writing desk?”

      • GrrArg42
        GrrArg42
        December 24, 2012 at 2:12 am | #

        They both squeak when you stand on them?

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        December 24, 2012 at 3:19 am | #

        It’s really unsettling to see a bunch of them flocking around your house.

    • GrrArg42
      GrrArg42
      December 24, 2012 at 2:14 am | #

      Forget about the essay, let’s just skip to the oral exam.. – Steven Lynch from the song “Bad Professor”

      • Nathan
        Nathan
        September 3, 2013 at 6:05 pm | #

        “I think of all the education that I’d missed. But then, my homework was never quite like THIS!”

    • Dibullba
      Dibullba
      December 24, 2012 at 2:41 am | #

      “Can not wait to meet your parents”

    • Zababcd
      Zababcd
      December 24, 2012 at 5:14 am | #

      “I understand your frustration. I never really understood this myself.”

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      December 24, 2012 at 7:16 am | #

      “Why are you asking me for? I don’t make this shit.”

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 24, 2012 at 1:35 pm | #

      “Oh no. None of this will be on the test. I just felt like wasting your time.”

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      December 24, 2012 at 1:51 pm | #

      I give up, here is your money back.

    • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
      DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
      December 24, 2012 at 3:41 pm | #

      “Apparently, after all I tried to show you, you just wrote ‘Blah blah blah blah’ again, and this is your idea of *trying* to pass, no less. I’m afraid it’s time for the special snowflake to discover no one is going to miss it’s cute Rebel Angel-wannbe arse if it melts like any other.”

  8. DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
    DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
    December 24, 2012 at 12:28 am | #

    ‘S Called being treated like an adult, Sallykins.

  9. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    December 24, 2012 at 12:53 am | #

    Didn’t Jason have yearnings for Sal at one time, or was that in Walkyverse? Had to have been. But then, why are they on first name basis here. If she’s ‘hopeless’, thats not exactly what you’d call solid qualifications for Teaching Assistant.
    Regardless of any of the above: it can be hazardous to your health calling Sal ‘hopeless’.

  10. Anonymous
    Anonymous
    December 24, 2012 at 1:14 am | #

    Quite curious regarding what sort of hopelessness can give you better grades the less tutoring you have.

    Then again, hypothetically it could be rooted in certain conceptual misunderstandings rooted in communication failures, which once adequately addressed would snap straight to better grades than the starting point, or at least not worse ones.

    …Or I suppose she could have some unorthadox way of tackling problems which tends to give the correct answers, and which all orthadox ways pale in comparison to when hers is the brain trying to follow them, but that hardly ever happens.

    *wonders what sort of state will be revealed*

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      December 24, 2012 at 2:27 pm | #

      …or this assignment could be on different material than the prior one, and this new stuff is harder for her, even with tutoring.

  11. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    December 24, 2012 at 1:33 am | #

    You are hopeless positive. You may need to go to a hospital.

  12. Tim
    Tim
    December 24, 2012 at 2:00 am | #

    Damn it Sal, if you had a montage that we all got to see then you would have done well on the test for sure.
    I wanted a montage.
    But we didn’t see a montage and so you get the bad grade you deserve.

    • Xydux
      Xydux
      December 24, 2012 at 12:12 pm | #

      http://videosift.com/video/Sports-Training-Montage-from-Season-6-Asspen-Episode

      Remember, even Rocky had a montage!

  13. Vi
    Vi
    December 24, 2012 at 2:01 am | #

    Yay! More Jason! I was wondering when we’d see him again.
    “You’re positively hopeless. Here, we should schedule more tutoring. How about every night? My dorm?”

  14. Furie
    Furie
    December 24, 2012 at 2:05 am | #

    Is Sal’s tattoo a spider symbol?

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      December 24, 2012 at 2:30 pm | #

      Yes. We’ve seen it more clearly in prior comics.

      Also, she’s spider-man.

  15. GrrArg42
    GrrArg42
    December 24, 2012 at 2:11 am | #

    As a TA I can not express how wrong this is. Bad Jason! Bad!

  16. gangler
    gangler
    December 24, 2012 at 4:18 am | #

    Jason, you’re an ass.

  17. Rayrayravona
    Rayrayravona
    December 24, 2012 at 4:58 am | #

    We skipped right over the tutoring? 🙁 I’ve been waiting seven months for that tutoring session, which eventually turned into waiting for a confrontation from Jason for Sal not showing up. 🙁

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      December 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm | #

      It was scheduled to happen during that four-day timeskip, which caught us all by surprise.

  18. Dr.Z
    Dr.Z
    December 24, 2012 at 5:38 am | #

    Huh.

    Never noticed Sal’s spider tatoo until now.

    Was that always visible?

    PS: Happy Holidays, everybody!

    • Bill M.
      Bill M.
      December 24, 2012 at 12:30 pm | #

      Yes. But it’s not so much a tattoo as the charred remains from her laser vision bouncing off a mirror as one made the mistake of crawling on her. The ash penetrated the first few layers of her epidermis due to her laser vision remaining there a second or two too long to ensure the spider was truly dead.

  19. Jererry
    Jererry
    December 24, 2012 at 10:41 am | #

    Sal’s an awesome character, but as a teacher, her accusatory brand of complaint combined with a focus on grades instead of learning probably won’t help her. Still, I don’t think we’ll see her flunk out any time soon (I hope not).

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      December 24, 2012 at 2:33 pm | #

      Unless there are more timeskips, the earliest we could possibly see her flunk out would be around a century or two from now.

      • Jererry
        Jererry
        December 25, 2012 at 1:49 am | #

        Good point.

  20. Ivan
    Ivan
    December 24, 2012 at 11:30 am | #

    Somebody else may have said so already – but given his first reaction upon seeing her (a while back) SHE should have “tooted” HIM – if she wanted an A or a B++!!!

  21. Black Mammoth
    Black Mammoth
    December 24, 2012 at 12:58 pm | #

    I can see how this kind of thing could happen. I remember when I went to college, I was in this math class where I would pay attention, take notes, do assignments and homework, AND I regularly went to tutoring (which had lessons that made sense to me), and even with all that I STILL failed it miserably! Sometimes you can do everything possible short of paying off a teacher and still fail a class.

  22. OmegaDez
    OmegaDez
    January 7, 2013 at 3:02 pm | #

    Yay! Howard Philips is backs!

  23. newllend
    newllend
    August 15, 2013 at 3:12 am | #

    Worst teacher ever

  24. RandomPerson12
    RandomPerson12
    November 5, 2014 at 7:09 am | #

    For some reason, I imagine the Doctor voicing Jason in this strip.

  25. Kilo
    Kilo
    August 2, 2015 at 4:59 pm | #

    Would negative hopelessness make things better or worse?

Who's that guy over there?

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