Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

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don't be afraid walky will think you're into him, joyce, he'll never think that ever
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BUFFER WATCH Comics are currently drawn and uploaded through:

September 20, 2023

Fancy

by David M Willis on February 26, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - Guess Who's Coming to Galasso's

└ Tags: ethan, joyce, walky

Discussion (283) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. BlueRam
    BlueRam
    February 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Increase in Butt Grabbing should NEVER lead to conflict!

    • Zach
      Zach
      February 26, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      And yet it typically does.

      • BlueRam
        BlueRam
        February 26, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

        I, for one, would gladly accept all butt grabbing that others do not wish to receive!

        • Zach
          Zach
          February 26, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

          You shall revive them at your next interview, and again when your wife is in labor with you present. Enjoy

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            February 26, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

            And during your college presentation and after getting bit in the butt by a rattle snake.

            • BlueRam
              BlueRam
              February 26, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

              If it means sparing the world from unwanted butt grabs, I will gladly sacrifice my butt to the greater good.

              • Gordon Blvd
                Gordon Blvd
                February 26, 2013 at 9:35 am | #

                another PERFECT avatar for the situation!!!

        • Anonymous
          Anonymous
          February 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

          I’m sure the mass-murder and self-mutilation fetishists will be /delighted/ to hear that. And you even get to reuse the same tools!

          • Skull025
            Skull025
            February 26, 2013 at 8:49 pm | #

            Taaaasty.

        • TPman
          TPman
          February 26, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

          Does that include butt grabbing from my cell mate? Dude killed like 36 people. It’s pretty creepy.

          • TPman
            TPman
            February 26, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

            Also he has giant crab pincers for hands.

            • BlueRam
              BlueRam
              February 26, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

              Buttgrab Jesus makes no complaints.

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              February 26, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

              Is he related to a GIANT ENEMY CRAB?

            • AckAckAck
              AckAckAck
              February 26, 2013 at 12:39 am | #

              So what set off Zoidberg to kill 36 people?

              • Chatokun
                Chatokun
                February 26, 2013 at 2:42 am | #

                If I recall correctly: mating season. And look, valentine’s just passed…

              • desolation0
                desolation0
                February 27, 2013 at 4:13 pm | #

                They needed a doctor, he just happened to be available.

    • CWR
      CWR
      February 26, 2013 at 7:34 am | #

      Is Walky speaking of himself in the third person because he’s in Galasso’s pizza parlor?

      Why are they called pizza parlors, anyway? Can you think of a less formal activity than eating pizza?

      • WonderRabbit
        WonderRabbit
        February 26, 2013 at 8:07 am | #

        Alliteration. Always alliteration.

      • Josh
        Josh
        February 26, 2013 at 10:01 am | #

        (and subs)

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        February 26, 2013 at 11:11 am | #

        Probably a spin-off from ice cream parlours.

      • Jenna
        Jenna
        February 26, 2013 at 4:17 pm | #

        Parlour/Parlor comes from the French Parler (to speak) and has historically been the name for a sitting/gathering room, either in a private home or in a public place. The patron dining area of a pizza parlor is often set-up like a traditional parlor, like this one:
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Photograph_of_a_Greek_Revival_Parlor_in_the_Metropolitan.jpg

    • Boom
      Boom
      February 26, 2013 at 8:19 am | #

      And yet it is the reason I have a girlfriend now…

  2. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    February 26, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Metrosexual Walky gets all the girls (and guys).

    • Wonder Wig
      Wonder Wig
      February 26, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      Dat Metrozexual Sculpted Caramel.

      • Resne
        Resne
        February 26, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

        Dat Walky.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          February 26, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

          Dat Ass!

          • Mkvenner
            Mkvenner
            February 26, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

            Second

      • AckAckAck
        AckAckAck
        February 26, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

        Everyone want a lick at that caramel.

      • Blob Marley
        Blob Marley
        February 26, 2013 at 2:02 am | #

        “Metrosexual sculpted caramel”

        New band name? New band name.

        • AckAckAck
          AckAckAck
          February 26, 2013 at 3:21 am | #

          Walky as the vocal. With opened button shirt.

          • Jacob
            Jacob
            February 26, 2013 at 3:27 am | #

            Rather, with Opening: Buttoned Shirt

        • Kelly
          Kelly
          February 26, 2013 at 9:13 am | #

          dot tumblr dot com

  3. ProfWillis
    ProfWillis
    February 26, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Oh, Walky. Ever the pragmatist.

    • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
      DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
      February 26, 2013 at 12:13 pm | #

      ‘s good to be a pragmatist. They tend to do better in life than the alternatives.

  4. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    February 26, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Including butt-grabbings from… BOYS?

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      February 26, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

      No, from BOTS.

      • Buckybone
        Buckybone
        February 26, 2013 at 3:19 am | #

        From boxbots?

        • John
          John
          February 26, 2013 at 4:28 am | #

          That would be terrible.

          • Kelly
            Kelly
            February 26, 2013 at 9:13 am | #

            boxbot is always terrible

            • Boxbot
              Boxbot
              February 26, 2013 at 9:42 am | #

              Hellloooo

            • ilvos01
              ilvos01
              February 26, 2013 at 10:40 am | #

              Robox is pretty great.

              • madd
                madd
                February 26, 2013 at 6:10 pm | #

                Roblox are annoying.

    • pokee2
      pokee2
      February 26, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      You take what you can get.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        February 26, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

        I believe in a world where all butt-grabbings are equal.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      February 26, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      Brotherhood Of Young Slayers?

  5. Aizat
    Aizat
    February 26, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Butt Grabbing? Dayum, Walky is a chick magnet. Unless the butt grabbings came from dudes.

    • Zach
      Zach
      February 26, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

      Then he is a nonspecific sexual magnet.

    • Eve
      Eve
      February 26, 2013 at 5:03 am | #

      I assumed it was all from his girlfriend

  6. Michael T
    Michael T
    February 26, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Ladies love a fancy man, Walky.

    • Nerdman
      Nerdman
      February 27, 2013 at 8:08 pm | #

      Correction: People like a fancy man. Because seriously, DAMN.

  7. Amphicoelias
    Amphicoelias
    February 26, 2013 at 12:04 am | #

    Joyce, boys are able to compliment each other with no issue whatsoever

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      February 26, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

      Where I’m from, we boys complimented each other after a rousing game of tag or hide and seek.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        February 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        Yo man! You hide like a straight-up pro!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      Not in my country they don’t.

      • Amphicoelias
        Amphicoelias
        February 26, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

        and which country would that be

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          February 26, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

          Australia. Over here in Oz, any man who likes women more than sports must be a homosexual.

          • Mkvenner
            Mkvenner
            February 26, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

            Is it true the flora and fauna are actively trying to kill you?

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              February 26, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

              Acticely no, they tend to be more opportunistic than anything.

          • AckAckAck
            AckAckAck
            February 26, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

            Wat? I can understand the obsession for footie but that’s ridiculous.

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              February 26, 2013 at 12:45 am | #

              To be fair that is more true of my generation and older than for today’s Aussie youth.

              • AckAckAck
                AckAckAck
                February 26, 2013 at 12:59 am | #

                You just admit that you’re old. No worries, most of us are old here :p

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  February 26, 2013 at 1:05 am | #

                  I’m firmly middle-aged at this time, I have about a decade yet before becoming elderly, nevermind old. 😀

          • Mkvenner
            Mkvenner
            February 26, 2013 at 2:28 am | #

            http://youtu.be/60VUtxmN1IE

          • Somebody
            Somebody
            February 26, 2013 at 3:20 pm | #

            Well they can go fuck themselves with a cactus. I’d like to see them say that to me and this tire iron. And they’re more interested in sweaty men, so they have no right to make assumptions about other people’s sexuality!

            • Somebody
              Somebody
              February 26, 2013 at 9:43 pm | #

              I got a bit carried away.

      • Barabajagal
        Barabajagal
        February 26, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

        Which is why NZ is better ;p.
        Obviously joshing you – you might enjoy this Aussie comedians take on homosexuality http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in9SiDtJLaU

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          February 26, 2013 at 1:10 am | #

          He’s pretty good, I’ll be checking out other videos.

        • Somebody
          Somebody
          February 26, 2013 at 3:28 pm | #

          The last part makes no sense.

    • Rognik
      Rognik
      February 26, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

      I thought that was why Ethan shouldn’t have felt awkward about giving Walky a compliment.

    • Eve
      Eve
      February 26, 2013 at 5:04 am | #

      I assumed that was what Joyce was saying “why would you feel awkward at all, you’re both dudes”

  8. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    February 26, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Ethan’s gonna get drunk and smooch Walky. Then Joyce will be both sad and turned on.

    • BlueRam
      BlueRam
      February 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      And then we will see people complain that it’s not Ruth and Billie…yet.

    • Davriel
      Davriel
      February 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      But mostly turned on. Which will make her sad.

      • John
        John
        February 26, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

        “Joyce and the Funny Feelings”

    • Tomb
      Tomb
      February 26, 2013 at 1:23 am | #

      This Joyce’s descent into her new passion for Man Shipping begins…

      • Michael
        Michael
        February 26, 2013 at 10:41 am | #

        I thought that was outlawed by the 13th Amendment.

        • dropded
          dropded
          February 26, 2013 at 2:03 pm | #

          For the win.

          Is butt grabbing a beneficial attribute, evolutionarily speaking?

  9. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    February 26, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    Hmm, I have a blue plaid shirt too….
    *puts it on*

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      February 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      I got green ones, purple ones and blue ones.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 26, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      Girls bust through Wonder Wig’s wall like an Axe commercial to grab his butt.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        February 26, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

        OH YEAH!

        • Wonder Wig
          Wonder Wig
          February 26, 2013 at 5:00 am | #

          I was inappropriately touched by the kool-aid man. O_O

          • CWR
            CWR
            February 26, 2013 at 7:28 am | #

            All Kool-Aid Man touches are automatically appropriate.

    • meanderling
      meanderling
      February 26, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

      What’s your butt-grab status?

      • AckAckAck
        AckAckAck
        February 26, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

        Semi hover?

        • Wonder Wig
          Wonder Wig
          February 26, 2013 at 2:17 am | #

          Butt is currently cold and unattended. =/
          Maybe plaid pants will solve this…

          • Raoullefere
            Raoullefere
            February 26, 2013 at 4:13 am | #

            Plaid jeans never solve anything except golf scores.

    • AckAckAck
      AckAckAck
      February 26, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

      I got a black grey one. I need more but I can’t find one with softer fabric :/

  10. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    February 26, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    I can understand if he hates it cos the material if uncomfortable, but I suspect he hates it cos to him at least slob is a type of fashion.

    • Zach
      Zach
      February 26, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

      Isn’t it clearly shown to be a product of his gender insecurity? It’s why he won’t own more than one pair of shoes.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        February 26, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

        It’s one thing for a man to have as few shoes as possible, but a real man can own as many blue singlets as he likes.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        February 26, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

        I just don’t like putting effort into my clothes and that’s how I feel like Walky feels.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          February 26, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

          Summer is the easiest time for ‘fashion’, the only choices I have to make are what colour shirt to wear and put on some dark shorts and if I’m going out, a pair of thongs.

        • Pat
          Pat
          February 26, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

          Yeah, but he puts a lot of effort into not putting any effort into it, and even more into reminding you that he didn’t.

          • Raoullefere
            Raoullefere
            February 26, 2013 at 4:15 am | #

            True; Walky works hard at his slobbery. I suspect it’s the only thing he works hard at. Well, except taco acquisition.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      February 26, 2013 at 10:43 am | #

      I hate shirts like that because they’re uncomfortable – and because ‘early programmer casual’ is a type of fashion, which I prefer to ‘code monkey wage slave’.

      I don’t wear untied shoes, though. That’s just dumb.

  11. Raibean
    Raibean
    February 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    oh joyce

  12. andrew
    andrew
    February 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    “Walky is conflicted” I love that line xD

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      February 26, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      Walky likes to refer to himself in the third person.

      • andrew
        andrew
        February 26, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        Andrew enjoys pointing out things he likes

        • TPman
          TPman
          February 26, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

          TPman has a compulsive need to join in on conversations.

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            February 26, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

            Aizat has a compulsion to make jokes at the moment.

            • BlueRam
              BlueRam
              February 26, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

              BlueRam has a compulsion to have his butt grabbed.

              • George
                George
                February 26, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

                George has a compulsion to keep awesome threads going.

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  February 26, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

                  Plasma Mongoose launches a COMBO-BREAKER which fails due to irony.

                • Mkvenner
                  Mkvenner
                  February 26, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

                  Sorry I’m late what did I miss?

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  February 26, 2013 at 12:46 am | #

                  Talking in the third person.

                • AckAckAck
                  AckAckAck
                  February 26, 2013 at 12:48 am | #

                  AckAckAck! arglgrahggraharrrggg (help someone is choking me!)

                • Mkvenner
                  Mkvenner
                  February 26, 2013 at 1:23 am | #

                  Yeeeaaaahhh I’m not doing that. 😐

                • Robin
                  Robin
                  February 26, 2013 at 5:59 pm | #

                  Robin is not doing that either.

                • shietka
                  shietka
                  March 8, 2014 at 12:29 pm | #

                  shietka has a compulsion to comment on this thread a year later just for the heck of it.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            February 26, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

            Yotomoe is awesome, fundamentally.

            • AckAckAck
              AckAckAck
              February 26, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

              AckAckAck demands proof. Maybe a drawing of Walky getting his butt grabbed by someone will do nicely.

              • Yotomoe
                Yotomoe
                February 26, 2013 at 1:00 am | #

                I just unplugged my tablet :C

              • Led
                Led
                February 26, 2013 at 4:49 am | #

                Someone… or something?

            • Pikachu
              Pikachu
              February 26, 2013 at 4:55 pm | #

              Pika pi! Pikachu!

  13. Ragnal
    Ragnal
    February 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    I just imagine this tiny little hammer in Joyce’s head next to a glass pane that says “realization your boyfriend may be gay” and just tapping it’s foot with impatience. “Any minute now” it says…

    …I’m not sure where I got that vision from, but it sums up my feeling of the arc.

    • Athedia
      Athedia
      February 26, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

      Hammer, Joyce’s: (Checks watch, sighs) “It sure is a boring job being the realization hammer in this head. But at least there is a steady paycheck.”

      Hammer, Billie’s: (Looks tired) “They don’t pay me enough for this one.” (Pulls out beer, gets drunk)

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        February 26, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

        The hammer gets hammered?

      • Raoullefere
        Raoullefere
        February 26, 2013 at 4:19 am | #

        Truly, Joyce’s Realization Hammer must get very little in the way of job satisfaction. On the other hand, I’m not sure any of these characters’ hammers are being severely overworked.

        • taekwondogirl
          taekwondogirl
          February 26, 2013 at 8:11 am | #

          Out of all the characters, I’d almost say Danny has the most growth so far.

          • begbert2
            begbert2
            February 26, 2013 at 10:46 am | #

            His Amazigirl Identity Realization Hammer is on strike, though.

            • Melizza
              Melizza
              February 26, 2013 at 10:50 am | #

              Ah, I was beaten to it. I’m in agreement with begbert2.

          • Melizza
            Melizza
            February 26, 2013 at 10:49 am | #

            Maybe, but if you put Danny and Amazi-girl girl in the same room. His lack of realization of who she really is lacks the same way Joyce’s realization lacks in figuring out Ethan’s intentions and sexual preference.

    • FlyingFish
      FlyingFish
      February 26, 2013 at 9:16 am | #

      Or it will go down the new information chute.

  14. Deutschmeister
    Deutschmeister
    February 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    is it just me or is Ethan adorable

  15. Sori
    Sori
    February 26, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Thankfully, it seems the drama tag in this universe is still intact.

    • anickel4u
      anickel4u
      February 26, 2013 at 2:00 am | #

      I just realize that myself…. Im amaze nobody seems to care….

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        February 26, 2013 at 10:49 am | #

        The only multiversal constantant is that Ethan is always gay. (Including in universes where there is only one gender.) Thus there’s no reason to think that Pamela requires drama tags to avoid dying in all universes. We’ve seen a whole two examples of universes like that; that does not make a trend. This could easily be a universe where she never got cancer to start with.

        • anickel4u
          anickel4u
          February 27, 2013 at 1:56 am | #

          We can only hope, i like Pamela…
          But what if the drama tag was already pulled?

  16. Regalli
    Regalli
    February 26, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    So… do we think it’s time to start counting down until the reveal yet? Or are we doomed to this awkwardness forever?

    • Rognik
      Rognik
      February 26, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      Until Ethan says outright that he’s gay, this running gag will not end. Besides, don’t ruin Joyce’s perfect man.

    • xKiv
      xKiv
      February 26, 2013 at 6:57 pm | #

      We are doomed to this awkward countdown forever.

  17. ridtom
    ridtom
    February 26, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    Converting Itchyness and Fancyness into Butt Grabs is always a pain in the ass, am I right??

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 26, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

      It’s definitely a pain in the ass when they grab too hard.

      • Ragnal
        Ragnal
        February 26, 2013 at 12:26 am | #

        I see what you did there.

    • xKiv
      xKiv
      February 26, 2013 at 6:58 pm | #

      I only convert Itchyness to Scratchyness 🙁

  18. NerdHerder
    NerdHerder
    February 26, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    And so it begins.

  19. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    February 26, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    *Face Palm*

    *Yells in frustration*

  20. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    February 26, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

    Thanks to the line “Walky is conflicted” I now imagine him talking like The Boulder from Avatar:TLA.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      February 26, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      The Boulder feels conflicted about fighting a young blind girl.

      • someguywithakatana
        someguywithakatana
        February 26, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

        The Boulder feels conflicted over the increasingly tight feeling in his pants as the sculpted caramel boy talks about butt-grabbings.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          February 26, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

          The Boulder has gotten over his conflicted feelings and is going to bury you in a rockalanche.

          • someguywithakatana
            someguywithakatana
            February 26, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

            Oh myyyyyyyyyyy

          • BlueRam
            BlueRam
            February 26, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

            The Boulder is going to make sure you get it straight in the FAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              February 26, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

              The Boulder will remove your FEMURS and fuck your mother…FOR A NICKEL.

              • someguywithakatana
                someguywithakatana
                February 26, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

                Wait, now Mike is the Boulder? But he never feels conflicted about anything.

                • Crumplepunch
                  Crumplepunch
                  February 26, 2013 at 4:08 am | #

                  Mike is over his conflicted feelings!

          • ProjectXa3
            ProjectXa3
            February 26, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

            This. This is a good thread.

      • Somebody
        Somebody
        February 26, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

        There’s always hugging.

      • Ragnal
        Ragnal
        February 26, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

        The Boulder wants to remind you…to HAVE A NICE DAY. BANG BANG!

  21. Melvin Schlock
    Melvin Schlock
    February 26, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    Ethan: “And…umm…just what does a buttgrab actually…you know…feel like?”

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 26, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

      “Like someone grabbed your ass, hence the term butt-grab”.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        February 26, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

        It’s like when someone’s gonna hold your hand, “butt grabs” your ass instead.

        • BlueRam
          BlueRam
          February 26, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

          I think that’s worth a buttgrab in and of itself.

        • AckAckAck
          AckAckAck
          February 26, 2013 at 12:53 am | #

          In the future, a new trend called “holding butts” will replace “holding hands” activity in public.

          • Zach
            Zach
            February 26, 2013 at 10:58 pm | #

            Your prediction does match current trends. I for one am all for it.

  22. Aizat
    Aizat
    February 26, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

    You know, Walky kinda looked like a lumberjack with that getup. Or maybe a farm hand.

    • leonou
      leonou
      February 26, 2013 at 1:00 am | #

      But if Walky’s the lumberjack, how comes only Ethan has wood ?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        February 26, 2013 at 1:12 am | #

        Will he get the chop?

        • Wack'd
          Wack'd
          February 26, 2013 at 8:10 am | #

          Eeeeeeeeeeeeeew.

          If I want castration in my entertainment, I’ll stick with Hard Candy, thank you very much.

  23. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    February 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    Traaaaaaaaaaainnnnnnwreeeeeeeeeeck.

    This is gonna be good.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      February 26, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

      Well, it’s a trainwreck. Lives are lost but you just can’t help but watch.

      • Drakey
        Drakey
        February 26, 2013 at 2:34 am | #

        You just can’t help butt watch.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      February 26, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

      *Takes out the Popcorn of Horror again* I think we’re gonna need this. I got an extra big bag, so it should last the rest of the week provided there’s not another big long debate about evolution and dinosaur feathers.

      If that happens, we must throw some of it at the current speaker and scurry. Scurry as fast as our legs can carry us.

  24. bunivasal
    bunivasal
    February 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    Oh man, I love this, because it’s exactly the homophobic contortions I remember growing up with in the Midwest. As a man you can’t compliment another man, because recognizing that he’s capable of grooming himself is just a step below handholding or fellatio.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 26, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

      “So that’s Dotty’s real plan for Walky!” 😛

      • George
        George
        February 26, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

        But what does she get out of it?

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          February 26, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

          If Dotty turns out to be a yaoi fangirl, she gets to experience the feelings of moe.

          • Mkvenner
            Mkvenner
            February 26, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

            And a nose bleed.

          • Regalli
            Regalli
            February 26, 2013 at 12:50 am | #

            Yeah, but the only surefire way to get it to work is to pair him up with a sweets-loving boy Lolita.

            Do you think they sell those at Wal-Mart?

            • Mkvenner
              Mkvenner
              February 26, 2013 at 1:22 am | #

              North of the Mason Dixon maybe.

            • HLY
              HLY
              February 26, 2013 at 2:05 am | #

              of course they do. but they’re limited stock

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 26, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

      Which almost makes it seem like I might as well hold guys hands and give them fellatio, since they are only one step up from complimenting a guy. It sounds like it’s no big deal now!

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        February 26, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

        So metrosexuality is the gateway to homosexuality?

        OH MY!

        • John
          John
          February 26, 2013 at 1:05 am | #

          Someone pointed out to me recently that “metrosexual” literally means “motherfucker”. So it’s the gateway to being Mike. The admittance fee is a nickel.

          • taekwondogirl
            taekwondogirl
            February 26, 2013 at 8:12 am | #

            I don’t think that’s accurate at all.

            • clodia
              clodia
              February 26, 2013 at 10:33 am | #

              It’s a gross exaggeration for a cute point.

              Metropolitan comes from the Greek words polis – city, and meter/mater – mother. However, metropolitan and metro have been words recognized to mean large city for so long that I find it essentially meaningless to derive meaning from words that derive from other words.

              Besides, sexual derives from the Latin sexus, which has more to do with the so-called gender binary than it does getting-it-on.

              • taekwondogirl
                taekwondogirl
                March 3, 2013 at 6:27 pm | #

                Thank you for explaining why anyone would think that.

    • ProjectXa3
      ProjectXa3
      February 26, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

      Sounds almost exactly like grade school.

    • andrew
      andrew
      February 26, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

      Andrew wonders why you put those two things on the same level.

      • Pat
        Pat
        February 26, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

        Really. Hand-holding is SCARY.

      • Josh
        Josh
        February 26, 2013 at 9:47 am | #

        That is not two things, that was ‘Holding hand and giving fellatio at the same time.

        • Robin
          Robin
          February 26, 2013 at 5:54 pm | #

          Everyone knows that one dude performing fellatio on another dude is not gay, as long as you’re not holding hands.

  25. Deemah122
    Deemah122
    February 26, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

    A new ship appears?

    • Hornet
      Hornet
      February 26, 2013 at 1:14 am | #

      Yes. Very much new shipping.

      • Drakey
        Drakey
        February 26, 2013 at 2:36 am | #

        Oh dear god yes. I did not know I shipped this, but… um…

      • Heavensrun
        Heavensrun
        February 26, 2013 at 9:52 am | #

        We’re talking about Walky/Ethan, right? (Hey, that clears the way for Joyrothy, too! Sweet!

  26. ProjectXa3
    ProjectXa3
    February 26, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

    I’m with Walky as far as fanciness goes. Wearing anything better than half- decent makes me feel self-conscious when I’m on campus or with friends.

    • Athedia
      Athedia
      February 26, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

      There is a fine line between too lazy (sweatpants and old shirt) and too nice (non-jeans and nice sweater) So I just wear jeans and a sweater, works anywhere.

  27. Charlie
    Charlie
    February 26, 2013 at 12:20 am | #

    Dammit now I ship Walky and Joyce again…

  28. Ryan Balis
    Ryan Balis
    February 26, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

    If there were a bet running now, I’d say the next strip will have Walky saying, “but he’s gay right?”

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      February 26, 2013 at 8:09 am | #

      Ah, Walky, that bastion of tact and social niceties.

      I doubt he’d be that nasty, though. I mean, true or not it’s more dickish than is usually in Walky’s wheelhouse.

      • FlyingFish
        FlyingFish
        February 26, 2013 at 9:18 am | #

        We’re not assuming nastiness, we’re assuming total obliviousness to Joyce’s assumptions.

        • Ryan Balis
          Ryan Balis
          February 26, 2013 at 11:14 am | #

          yeah, he wouldn’t be nasty saying that, just saying the obvious in the situation, haha.

        • Greenygal
          Greenygal
          February 26, 2013 at 12:46 pm | #

          If Walky is socially observant enough that he can tell that Ethan–who he’s spent maybe five minutes with–is gay, then I’m pretty sure he’s observant enough to have noticed Joyce’s unsubtle romantic interest.

    • Josh
      Josh
      February 26, 2013 at 9:44 am | #

      Unfortunately Walky and Dotty have already seen Joyce and Ethan together.

  29. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    February 26, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

    Somehow I doubt that so seriously. Walky likes girls and food.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 26, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

      I also suspect that Dotty also bans him from McNuggets when he is wearing those shirts.

      • Zach
        Zach
        February 26, 2013 at 11:19 pm | #

        Behold the idea of the bacon rose. Rap 2-4 bacon around a shrimp placed on top of a chease cube. Repeat 19 times. Place in oven chease cube down at 325 for 1 hr. mount flower heads on slimjims via chease. Arrange with candy or chips as buekay. Present to Walky (or any man, especially those who say they can’t see the appeal of men.).

        If he’s strait the ship will eventually sink, but could Walky really refuse this?

  30. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    February 26, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

    Man have to attract mates too Joyce.

  31. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    February 26, 2013 at 12:48 am | #

    “Luckily, my butt-grab to farting on her ratio is pretty low”

    • Dudeface
      Dudeface
      February 26, 2013 at 1:30 am | #

      Me thinks you maybe got something backwards…

    • dcmeserve
      dcmeserve
      February 26, 2013 at 9:31 pm | #

      There’s another picture idea for you.

  32. AckAckAck
    AckAckAck
    February 26, 2013 at 12:57 am | #

    It seems like everyone already made themselves cozy with sofa. soda and popcorn for the incoming trainwrek.

  33. Turkey Dave
    Turkey Dave
    February 26, 2013 at 1:05 am | #

    Haha, Joyce is right. Ethan liking boys? What kinda crazy alternate universe do you think this is?

  34. Ry
    Ry
    February 26, 2013 at 1:13 am | #

    You know what? Joyce has been mildly annoying ever since she first showed up, and yeah she had a tough break with Mr. Roofie von Asshole, but she has been acting more and more offensive and stuck up in the past few months than I can ever recall, and she’s really getting on my nerves. I’m seriously looking forward to Joyce’s face emitting both heart-break and utter disgust simultaneously when she learns about Ethan’s sexuality. Only after her precious little world has been thoroughly shattered by that glorious event (and also probably after Mike does her mom for nickel) will she have half a chance of growing the fuck up.

    • leonou
      leonou
      February 26, 2013 at 2:06 am | #

      I too find her insufferable, but I still don’t think she deserves hate. Her views are certainly wrong on many subjects but she has never wronged anyone … well except Joe.

      I’m looking forward to her character development, but really hope it happens in an easier than in It’s_Walky!, where she had to be broken THREE times before fully macro-evolving from “Horrible Stalker” to the (arguably) most lovable cast member.

      And come on, we already have Billie’s TrainWreck to enjoy !

      • dcmeserve
        dcmeserve
        February 26, 2013 at 9:35 pm | #

        Not hate. Tough love.

    • Raoullefere
      Raoullefere
      February 26, 2013 at 4:33 am | #

      The thing about Joyce is she’s her own worst enemy. She trusted Roofie Guy just because he spouted the right sentiments. She’s dating Ethan because she senses no sexual forwardness from him, not considering that this might mean he, too, isn’t what he seems to be. The only way she has a chance at happiness in her current state of mind is to crawl back into the Thumper community she came from, and yet she seems to be unwilling to do that.

      Really, the only other way I can see Joyce being able to climb out of the hell she’s building for herself is to have that moment you’re wishing on her.

      I get it. Despite her being a willfully delusional idiot at times, I kind of like Joyce, too.

      • Led
        Led
        February 26, 2013 at 4:55 am | #

        Indeed, she’s quite naive and that is pretty much the biggest problem for her I guess…

      • Mkvenner
        Mkvenner
        February 26, 2013 at 5:34 am | #

        Or hook up with Walky.

  35. sandbridgekid
    sandbridgekid
    February 26, 2013 at 1:15 am | #

    Like the locomotive wreck photographers of old taking pictures of gruesome disasters for the scandal sheets, I have set my imaginary camera ready on its tripod to take exquisite tin-types of the coming Joyce and Ethan conflagaration!! Topping! What! What! Bring on the bodies and the gore.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      February 26, 2013 at 8:06 am | #

      DUMBING OF AGE: BUCKETS OF BLOOD

  36. Tomb
    Tomb
    February 26, 2013 at 1:25 am | #

    Oh Joyce. Hahaha.

    ….
    The commenters will drink your tears.

    • Ry
      Ry
      February 26, 2013 at 1:26 am | #

      AND THEY WILL BE DELICIOUS!

      • xKiv
        xKiv
        February 26, 2013 at 7:59 pm | #

        Delicious, delicious commenters …

    • John
      John
      February 26, 2013 at 1:55 am | #

      Schadenfreude ist die schönste Freude.

  37. ForceUser
    ForceUser
    February 26, 2013 at 1:57 am | #

    Wow, is this like, shit on Joyce week or something?

    I know exactly where this is going :/

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      February 26, 2013 at 8:05 am | #

      Floating pooping butt?

      • Boxbot
        Boxbot
        February 26, 2013 at 9:47 am | #

        If that thing appears in the Walkyverse I will eat my hat. Probably in a sandwich.

      • George
        George
        February 26, 2013 at 9:48 am | #

        If that thing appears in the DoAverse I will eat my hat. Probably in a sandwich.

        Wow, wrong universe and forgot to change my name back. I’m doing great today!

        • Love is Mathematical
          Love is Mathematical
          February 26, 2013 at 1:36 pm | #

          I blame Boxbot.

          • Robin
            Robin
            February 26, 2013 at 5:46 pm | #

            He’s terrible.

  38. leonou
    leonou
    February 26, 2013 at 2:09 am | #

    Break the cutie fundie ?

  39. Love is Mathematical
    Love is Mathematical
    February 26, 2013 at 2:28 am | #

    Button-up shirts have that effect. Scientific fact.

    Poor, poor Ethan. Clueless, clueless Joyce. Joyce, please get some clueful. You gotta get some.

    • John
      John
      February 26, 2013 at 2:34 am | #

      She’s not gonna get any if she keeps dating gay dudes. Should’ve stuck with Joe for that.

  40. VizardJeffhog
    VizardJeffhog
    February 26, 2013 at 3:01 am | #

    Joyce, it’s not nice to hog the THING for yourself!

  41. JoeMerl
    JoeMerl
    February 26, 2013 at 3:15 am | #

    Ethan was one of the butt-grabbings.

    Walky is really “conflicted.”

  42. ADHadh
    ADHadh
    February 26, 2013 at 3:20 am | #

    1 in 5 DoA relationships fall apart due to Walky-butt.

  43. Jacob
    Jacob
    February 26, 2013 at 3:25 am | #

    Willis, why don’t you have a middle-ground or don’t-care option in the vote?

    • Crumplepunch
      Crumplepunch
      February 26, 2013 at 4:05 am | #

      There’s always the option of not voting.

      You know. If you don’t care.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        February 26, 2013 at 10:57 am | #

        But then his lack of opinion won’t be known!

  44. C.
    C.
    February 26, 2013 at 5:04 am | #

    Has he gotten butt-grabs from anyone but Dottie? That would technically be an issue. Given everything else that happens here, not a big issue.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      February 26, 2013 at 8:05 am | #

      Well, he clearly doesn’t mind. It’s only an issue if Walky thinks its an issue.

      That said, these other butt-grabbers running around may need to control their compulsions. Most folks are gonna mind.

  45. E.C.
    E.C.
    February 26, 2013 at 5:22 am | #

    Countdown to CHAOS AND DOOM…

  46. TJ Baltimore
    TJ Baltimore
    February 26, 2013 at 5:44 am | #

    Ethan’s face in yesterday’s comic makes a lot of sense now.

  47. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    February 26, 2013 at 8:13 am | #

    Hahaha. Oh you silly Ethan you.

    • Kirt Dankmyer
      Kirt Dankmyer
      February 26, 2013 at 10:11 am | #

      So very, very silly. Oh yes.

  48. Fady
    Fady
    February 26, 2013 at 9:19 am | #

    Oh come on Joyce has to know about gay people.

    At least she should know how EVIL they are.

    You know, because of, like. All those. Things they do. Like. Appearing in public. And not being ashamed of themselves.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      February 26, 2013 at 9:48 am | #

      she -has- talked about this before, IIRC. Possibly with Ethan.

      • Creativerealms
        Creativerealms
        February 26, 2013 at 12:39 pm | #

        Yep and Mike was to make things worse.

  49. Anthony
    Anthony
    February 26, 2013 at 9:21 am | #

    Ethan is pondering another butt grabbing.

  50. Das BookPimp (@The_BookPimp)
    Das BookPimp (@The_BookPimp)
    February 26, 2013 at 9:35 am | #

    Hands above the table Ethan! Above the Table!

  51. Charles RB
    Charles RB
    February 26, 2013 at 10:21 am | #

    Ethan/Walky please

  52. Melizza
    Melizza
    February 26, 2013 at 10:45 am | #

    I see so many people hating on Joyce, but does it not bother anyone that Ethan is allowing Joyce to fall for him? I understand that he’s trying to act normal because he’s having a hard time with his sexual preference, but he is still not considering Joyce’s feelings while his own are nowhere near as mutual. Idk, this scenario bothers me because no one will win in the end.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      February 26, 2013 at 10:58 am | #

      Yes it bothers people, but it’s a quiet sort of evil jerkiness, and Joyce puts her (unintentional) evil jerkiness on display so blatantly that it distracts.

    • The1exile
      The1exile
      February 26, 2013 at 10:59 am | #

      I’m pretty sure I’ve read condemnation of what Ethan is doing in previous strips – the one that in particular bugged me was when he ran away from Amber rather than answer her question about who he’s with.

      However, literally every damn strip Joyce says something that is either hurtful or painfully naive, whereas Ethan is frequently just kind of… there… And that’s okay! Because that’s who he is. But generally a mouthy judgemental pillock will attract more hate than a silent jerk.

    • madd
      madd
      February 26, 2013 at 6:03 pm | #

      I’ve said before that Ethan was one of my favorite characters until this whole Joyce thing happened. Not only is it wrong, he knows how upset Amber was when they went through the whole realization process and to now purposely put someone in that situation, especially someone who is both obviously naive and raised with specific beliefs where homosexuality is concerned, is just cruel. He does this knowingly and willingly and that goes beyond being a jerk.

      • thomas0comer
        thomas0comer
        February 26, 2013 at 7:41 pm | #

        I think it might be something like him thinking that if he keeps pretending to be straight he will eventually become straight, or that he thinks it’s just a phase, or something like that. Either way he isn’t telling everything to Joyce, though.

  53. Lupus_Amens
    Lupus_Amens
    February 26, 2013 at 10:51 am | #

    I would be very flattered if dude said i looked nice, gay or not…

  54. begbert2
    begbert2
    February 26, 2013 at 10:59 am | #

    I like how there’s no bias whatsoever in the poll options.

    • Raen
      Raen
      February 26, 2013 at 11:36 am | #

      I find it interesting that there’s no “I prefer a just-so story from 458 BCE.”

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        February 26, 2013 at 12:09 pm | #

        By my read of it the question is about esthetics, not science (which is why I voted for the ‘monsters’ even though I accept that some of them actually had some feathers). So the question is whether you like the look of scales or feathers better. Whether you think the feathered/scaly dinos evolved like real things or were popped into existence by a magician is irrelevant. (Unless you thought they were popped into existence as bones, I suppose.)

        • FRaven
          FRaven
          February 26, 2013 at 11:39 pm | #

          It’s true, there is a clear preference for the coolness of large feather raptors of death. The readers have spoken. Feathered dinosaurs look friggin sweet.

  55. Ally
    Ally
    February 26, 2013 at 3:23 pm | #

    Almost there Joyce… Almost there.

  56. ralpal
    ralpal
    February 26, 2013 at 4:14 pm | #

    Okay… I know that we all know that Ethan is gay, but I was really certain that in this universe he knew he was gay, but he wasn’t expressing it because of something Mike said… I’m so confused. Guess I have to go back to the beginning and see what I’m trying to say…

    • ralpal
      ralpal
      February 26, 2013 at 4:59 pm | #

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/04-the-bechdel-test/awkward/

      Okay, so, Ethan knows he gay… Like I originally thought. Why is he pretending to be Joyce’s boyfriend? Or is he being oblivious to it, and just thinks he’s her friend?

      • vsophi
        vsophi
        February 26, 2013 at 7:57 pm | #

        He thinks that if he’s gay, he’ll end up alone and miserable, so he’s trying to be straight.

        • ralpal
          ralpal
          February 27, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

          Thank you, guess I missed that part…

      • Rust
        Rust
        February 26, 2013 at 9:21 pm | #

        Yeah, Ethan’s Gay but he wants to be Straight and he figures Joyce is the “safest” bet.

        Sad part is he’s not wrong on that front.

        • Zach
          Zach
          February 26, 2013 at 11:40 pm | #

          “Do you know you’re gay?”
          “If there’s a handbook I should read, give it to me.”
          “Well congratulations. You have a relationship based on a mutual revulsion of fucking.”

          If he has a celibate relationship he hopes it will never be an issue. This is cowardis on his part in not wanting to face something, and morally wrong because he is using Joyce.

  57. penguintruth
    penguintruth
    February 26, 2013 at 5:57 pm | #

    Because guys totally can’t compliment other guys on their looks unless they’re gay, amirite?

    • MrSmiley
      MrSmiley
      February 26, 2013 at 11:23 pm | #

      nah. closeted gay guys can’t compliment guys cause they’ll feel like their hitting on them.

    • ralpal
      ralpal
      February 27, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

      My comment wasn’t that he can’t compliment a guy unless he’s gay, only that to my knowledge Ethan had realized he was gay. I was not aware he was attempting to hide it.

  58. shecterman15
    shecterman15
    February 26, 2013 at 6:13 pm | #

    Oh Joyce…Joycie, Joycie, Joycie, Joyce Joyce Joyce. If only you knew…IF ONLY YOU KNEW WHAT WE KNOW!!!!

  59. JA
    JA
    February 26, 2013 at 7:54 pm | #

    Butt grabs…approved.

    And damn, shit’s about to go down, methinks…

    • Tom Speelman
      Tom Speelman
      February 26, 2013 at 8:39 pm | #

      Let’s just hope it doesn’t go down during a butt grab…0_0

      • Neospector
        Neospector
        February 26, 2013 at 10:35 pm | #

        Very rarely do bad things go down during a butt grab.

        • lightsabermario
          lightsabermario
          February 26, 2013 at 11:26 pm | #

          They do when the grabbee is straight and the grabber is not!

  60. Absolom
    Absolom
    February 26, 2013 at 10:34 pm | #

    WILLIS! I’m calling you out!
    …
    I see what you did there.
    Well done.

  61. lightsabermario
    lightsabermario
    February 26, 2013 at 11:25 pm | #

    I’m sorry, but I’m calling BS on this one. I’m not saying that clothes don’t make the man, although they don’t nearly work for me as well as they do for other men. But here, Walky does not look better because he is wearing a nicer shirt. No, he looks better because his shoulders are broader and his biceps are bigger. Artificially making him look better by enhancing his physique? That’s cheating.

    • David
      David M Willis
      February 26, 2013 at 11:32 pm | #

      I did nothing of the sort.

    • someguywithakatana
      someguywithakatana
      February 26, 2013 at 11:40 pm | #

      Walky was shirtless a few storylines ago. His shoulders have always been broad and his biceps have always been big. He’s not a body-builder, but he’s not in bad shape, by any stretch of the imagination.

      • someguywithakatana
        someguywithakatana
        February 26, 2013 at 11:44 pm | #

        *that* broad and *that* big, I meant.

        • lightsabermario
          lightsabermario
          February 27, 2013 at 11:13 pm | #

          Exactly, I mean, look at his biceps in panel 1, since when have they been that big?

          • David
            David M Willis
            February 27, 2013 at 11:37 pm | #

            You can’t see his biceps. He’s wearing a shirt.

    • Zach
      Zach
      February 26, 2013 at 11:44 pm | #

      He does look wider than normal, but presumably Dorothy doesn’t let him slouch.

  62. Angelicfiend
    Angelicfiend
    March 1, 2013 at 1:25 pm | #

    Ethan, my poor baby

    • Angelicfiend
      Angelicfiend
      March 1, 2013 at 1:25 pm | #

      also, omg my image is Ethan, Thank you David!

  63. Kari
    Kari
    March 22, 2013 at 1:38 am | #

    The hovertext is the best part of this one. I love it.

  64. shietka
    shietka
    March 8, 2014 at 7:47 pm | #

    I know this comment is a year late, but I was re-reading the archives for the third (or was it fourth?) time, and I just noticed beautiful irony. In this strip, the gay guy is worried about appreciating the same sex, and the straight, homophobic girl is worried about appreciating the opposite sex. It’s like Joyce and Ethan were made for each other, except, you know, totally not.

  65. Onion
    Onion
    April 29, 2016 at 12:54 am | #

    And the dramatic irony grows ever stronger.

Who's that guy over there?

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