Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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ethan left his awkward teenage years like a boss
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May 5, 2026

Meet

by David M Willis on March 29, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - Guess Who's Coming to Galasso's
└ Tags: amber, danny, dorothy, ethan, joyce, walky

Discussion (184) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    March 29, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Even Danno cannot resist Ethan! Can he resist Walky’s shirt?

    • vsophi
      vsophi
      March 29, 2013 at 1:58 am | #

      Spontaneous flash of inspiration for some fan art! It involves makeouts, and also Mike.

      • Hawkwing
        Hawkwing
        March 30, 2013 at 6:36 pm | #

        I think you forgot to mention it would involve your mom too. Honestly though, I think I can see why you’d want to keep that quiet.

    • tahrey
      tahrey
      April 2, 2013 at 9:58 am | #

      #eventheguyswanthim

  2. Milosh
    Milosh
    March 29, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    What the… how did Danny steal my secret?

  3. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    March 29, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Ethan basically hit puberty the same way the guy who played Nevile Longbottom did.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      March 29, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

      All at once, right?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        March 29, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

        Puberty hit me bloody hard, I went from 4’8″ and smooth at 12 to 5’9″ and hairy by 13.

        • Sporky
          Sporky
          March 29, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

          How many times that year did you have to buy new clothes?

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            March 29, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

            I would have to ask my mother that, I didn’t exactly keep track of that sort of thing when I was a kid.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      March 29, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

      I always loved how well the HP actors grew into their roles. In Neville’s case, his actor started looking badass just as his character was actually becoming badass.

      • Tucker
        Tucker
        March 29, 2013 at 1:07 am | #

        And Hermione got hot because of reasons.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          March 29, 2013 at 1:24 am | #

          It’s a pity that Emma Watson looks a lot like Richard Dawkins.

          • Tucker
            Tucker
            March 29, 2013 at 1:26 am | #

            That’s not a pity at all.

          • Chronos
            Chronos
            March 29, 2013 at 1:58 am | #

            Strange. Now I find Richard Dawkins slightly more attractive, and Emma Watson slightly less so. The strange part is, I didn’t really think Emma Watson was particularly attractive in the first place.

          • dcmeserve
            dcmeserve
            March 29, 2013 at 2:00 am | #

            Oh god, I tried the eye-crossing trick* to overlap their faces, and the result was pretty freaky. Also confirmed that it’s a pretty good match. And that Richard Dawkins looks better than I had thought.

            * cheapest method for 3D-viewing

            • nimoy
              nimoy
              March 29, 2013 at 9:57 am | #

              brilliant!

          • Surprise Pizza
            Surprise Pizza
            March 29, 2013 at 3:52 am | #

            Somebody’s found pics of them both with their heads at similar angles and similar expressions on their faces, and blended their features together.

            So feel free to find Emma Watson hot, and Richard Dawkins not, or vice versa depending on taste and orientation!

            • Whittier
              Whittier
              March 30, 2013 at 10:55 am | #

              Good eye.

            • Somebody
              Somebody
              March 30, 2013 at 2:46 pm | #

              It was photoshopped…the fact that she doesn’t really look that masculine makes it obvious enough. It also SAYS they photoshopped her to resemble him.

            • Laurel Raven
              Laurel Raven
              March 31, 2013 at 1:31 pm | #

              Even without photoshopping, they look a lot alike.

          • Arkadi
            Arkadi
            March 29, 2013 at 4:45 am | #

            I think I’m starting to fancy Richard Dawkins XD

            • Neospector
              Neospector
              March 29, 2013 at 10:57 pm | #

              If you happen to fancy both, you could always become a RichardxEmma shipper.

              • FinalOwen
                FinalOwen
                March 30, 2013 at 8:04 am | #

                Richard Dawkins’ wife is Lalla Ward, aka Romanadvoratrelundar, former Lord President of Gallifrey. They were introduced to each other by Douglas Adams. No ship can really live up to the awesomeness of the reality. 😛

                • Laurel Raven
                  Laurel Raven
                  March 31, 2013 at 1:32 pm | #

                  Where’s the like button when you need it?

          • TSB
            TSB
            March 29, 2013 at 1:30 pm | #

            I disagree.

            Her face is much thinner than his, her jawline is much more rounded, her facial features have greater vertical spread, the top of her eyes are more curved, her eyebrows are shaped differently, her nose is more upturned…

            They’re not two people who look alike, they’re two people who don’t look drastically different and are making the same facial expression.

            • dcmeserve
              dcmeserve
              March 30, 2013 at 1:06 am | #

              Good enough! :)=

          • spaceyOptimist
            spaceyOptimist
            March 30, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

            That’s not sad that’s brilliant.

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          March 29, 2013 at 1:27 am | #

          Hermione was always hot, she just never cared enough to put in the work to show it off. Her teeth were really her only physical flaw.

          • Wonder Wig
            Wonder Wig
            March 29, 2013 at 1:35 am | #

            I’m pretty sure I would’ve been kicked out of Hogwarts quickly for severely cursing Malfoy or Pansy every time they messed with Hermione.

          • Arkadi
            Arkadi
            March 29, 2013 at 4:47 am | #

            “Always hot”? You do realize she was *nine years old* in the first movie, don’t you.

            • djaevlenselv
              djaevlenselv
              March 29, 2013 at 7:05 am | #

              I think he was referring to book!Hermione. Mind you, she was 11 years old in the first book, so your argument still stands.

            • timemonkey
              timemonkey
              March 29, 2013 at 10:01 am | #

              That doesn’t mean she wassn’t attratcive, just that nobody was looking yet.

              • begbert2
                begbert2
                March 29, 2013 at 10:38 am | #

                You’re aware you’re digging yourself deeper and deeper into a very internet-characteristic hole, right? (Though I watch anime so I’m not one to talk.)

                • Wonder Wig
                  Wonder Wig
                  March 29, 2013 at 12:07 pm | #

                  Is it creepy if you grew up at the same age as the characters while the books and movies were coming out?

                • timemonkey
                  timemonkey
                  March 29, 2013 at 3:02 pm | #

                  Well, I do like holes.

                • vsophi
                  vsophi
                  March 29, 2013 at 3:58 pm | #

                  According to dictionary.com, one of the valid ways of interpreting the word attractive is “providing pleasure or delight, especially in appearance or manner; pleasing; charming; alluring”. Doesn’t mean that she was sexually appealing as a young child, just cute.

            • Buckybone
              Buckybone
              March 29, 2013 at 10:59 pm | #

              Not creepy when you’re the same age as she is…

  4. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    March 29, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    Danny is a man after my own heart.

    I don’t know whether this is an insult to me or Danny.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      March 29, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      Just prey he isn’t a man after your femurs.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        March 29, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

        Or Knees.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        March 29, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

        He’s going to prey on my femurs??

      • Pat
        Pat
        March 29, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

        Preying COULD help with that.

        • vsophi
          vsophi
          March 29, 2013 at 12:52 am | #

          And of course, you can count on Joyce to pray for them.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        March 29, 2013 at 12:50 am | #

        But Kernanator needs Kernanator’s heart to live!

        • BlueRam
          BlueRam
          March 29, 2013 at 12:51 am | #

          Not as much as she needs a FAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!

          • Totz the Plaid
            Totz the Plaid
            March 29, 2013 at 1:27 am | #

            Um… more than, actually.

    • Josh
      Josh
      March 30, 2013 at 1:34 pm | #

      ROFL! I am in love with your new grav!

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        March 30, 2013 at 1:55 pm | #

        Me too. I’m still thankful to Heavensrun for making it.

  5. Sir Robin
    Sir Robin
    March 29, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

    God dammit Danny!!!

  6. Shobo
    Shobo
    March 29, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    Joyce initiated gorilla stare!
    It’s not very effective.

    • HEYOUGUYZ!
      HEYOUGUYZ!
      March 29, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

      it worked on me

  7. NerdHerder
    NerdHerder
    March 29, 2013 at 12:09 am | #

    Oh, right, Amber. You were saying something about deceiving people?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      March 29, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      Hey Pot, I’m Kettle.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        March 29, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

        All we need now is Cauldron and the set is complete.

        • vsophi
          vsophi
          March 29, 2013 at 12:52 am | #

          What about Skillet?

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            March 29, 2013 at 12:59 am | #

            My bad, I shouldn’t have forgotten Skillet and also Hot Plate.

            • vsophi
              vsophi
              March 29, 2013 at 1:29 am | #

              And Wok. Gotta fill the Asian quota.

              • Plasma Mongoose
                Plasma Mongoose
                March 29, 2013 at 1:49 am | #

                Unless there is a black kitchen left unmentioned, I believe that the list is complete.

                • Bill M.
                  Bill M.
                  March 29, 2013 at 12:01 pm | #

                  There’s the Dutch oven…

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  March 29, 2013 at 6:46 pm | #

                  Are Dutch Ovens usually black?

    • gangler
      gangler
      March 29, 2013 at 12:21 am | #

      Everybody has some special reason why their lies don’t count.

      • Uncle Rylon
        Uncle Rylon
        March 29, 2013 at 5:59 am | #

        This may be the most insightful thing ever said in a DOA comment. Good job.

      • thomas0comer
        thomas0comer
        March 29, 2013 at 4:50 pm | #

        But my reason really is special! Honest! I’m different from everybody else!

        • Notebooked
          Notebooked
          March 29, 2013 at 7:29 pm | #

          People who hold double standards are annoying, but it’s okay when it’s me.

        • gangler
          gangler
          March 29, 2013 at 9:20 pm | #

          Doctor Gregory Syndrome: When everybody’s a liar, nobody is.

      • GShyft
        GShyft
        March 31, 2013 at 1:11 am | #

        And gangler reads the Dresden Files…

    • tyren22
      tyren22
      March 29, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

      What are you referring to?

      • vsophi
        vsophi
        March 29, 2013 at 12:55 am | #

        Good point. Amber’s as honest as can be!

        Dina, on the other hand…

    • Totz the Plaid
      Totz the Plaid
      March 29, 2013 at 1:35 am | #

      Remember, though, Danny also said he’d rather find out Amazi-Girl’s identity in an accidental way. Amber has a LOT more wiggle-room with the truth ethically since Danny flat-out said that he doesn’t want to be told outright.

  8. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    March 29, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

    Ethan sure dodged that bullet… for now.

    • Fred
      Fred
      March 29, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

      In Rioplatense Spanish there’s an euphemism about Ethan’s orientation that includes a bullet and not dodging it.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        March 29, 2013 at 1:01 am | #

        YAY for unintentional Bilingual Bonus. 🙂

      • Arkadi
        Arkadi
        March 29, 2013 at 4:49 am | #

        And what would that be? Just curious.

  9. Count Dracula
    Count Dracula
    March 29, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

    Um wasn’t Ethan supposed to own up today? Isn’t that what was going to happen? That is not what I see here.

    • Layman
      Layman
      March 29, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

      “Today” as in real life time? Or today as in webcomic time? Because that may take until mid April.

    • LiC
      LiC
      March 29, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

      I think he’s gonna wanna wait to do it without an audience. This is going to hurt Joyce enough on it own. Its better not to do it in front of the group where Joyce might be hurt and publicly embarrassed.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        March 29, 2013 at 12:52 am | #

        He may want to do it somewhere he can escape from quickly. Depending on how Joyce takes this he may need to escape a few of her friends (sure, Dorothy and Billie aren’t likely to hurt him but Sarah has a bat and she’s demonstrated a willingness to use it).

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          March 29, 2013 at 1:05 am | #

          According to the Bible, The Old Testament God was known for striking down homosexuals with extreme prejudice…

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            March 29, 2013 at 1:11 am | #

            On the plus side we may finally get to see who’d win in a fight: Old Testament God or Amazi-Girl.

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              March 29, 2013 at 1:18 am | #

              Only if criticisms are a brand of baseball bat.

            • Heavensrun
              Heavensrun
              March 29, 2013 at 6:14 am | #

              I say this as an atheist, but going impartially between two fictional characters, I gotta give that one to Yahweh.

          • Arkadi
            Arkadi
            March 29, 2013 at 4:51 am | #

            Whole cities at a time, if I remember right.

          • Li
            Li
            March 29, 2013 at 2:03 pm | #

            http://hoperemains.m.webs.com/

            No, not really. More like “according to the poorly-translated English version of the Bible”. In the original text, God is big on smiting temple prostitutes (not to be confused with regular ones!), and probably against trying to fight your natural sexual orientation (the way Rome did, by expecting EVERYONE to be bisexual, and the way we do today by expecting everyone to be heterosexual).

            But don’t take my poor summary for it; read the whole site. Sodom and Gamorrea is especially interesting to me.

        • Steve
          Steve
          March 29, 2013 at 7:34 am | #

          I don’t know about that. As I recall, Sarah gave her snarky blessing to the relationship early on. (“Congratulations on finding a sexless relationship.”)

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            March 29, 2013 at 10:00 am | #

            Yeah, but Joyce wasn’t broken hearted and crying at the time. That can change someone’s reaction to a scenario pretty fast.

            • Greenygal
              Greenygal
              March 29, 2013 at 12:44 pm | #

              Yeah, when Sarah said that all Joyce had done was bring him back to the room to watch cartoons. She probably didn’t realize how intense Joyce was going to get about him, and that actual heartbreak was in the cards.

  10. Yue Ryong
    Yue Ryong
    March 29, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

    ‘I like your hair’? How… interestingly lampshaded.

    Also, thank you. Now I can’t unship Ethan/Danny.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      March 29, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

      We cannot cancel shipping, it has already begun.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        March 29, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

        If we are not careful, one will be introducing his port into the other’s starboard. 😀

        • Pat
          Pat
          March 29, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

          I don’t think that’s how it works.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            March 29, 2013 at 12:35 am | #

            You’re right, I should have said introducing his bow into the other’s stern, my bad. 😀

            • tyren22
              tyren22
              March 29, 2013 at 12:47 am | #

              Must… resist… “poop deck” joke…

              • timemonkey
                timemonkey
                March 29, 2013 at 12:54 am | #

                Poop deck? This is a perfect opportunity to amke a sea men joke!

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  March 29, 2013 at 1:06 am | #

                  Don’t forget about the ‘docking’. 😀

                • tyren22
                  tyren22
                  March 29, 2013 at 1:36 am | #

                  Since when is poop MORE classy than semen? :O

                • timemonkey
                  timemonkey
                  March 29, 2013 at 1:40 am | #

                  What’s more likely to be involved between the two? XD

                • Chronos
                  Chronos
                  March 29, 2013 at 2:01 am | #

                  Prepare the boarding parties!

                • dcmeserve
                  dcmeserve
                  March 29, 2013 at 2:11 am | #

                  Oh, all right:

                  Don’t forget to have the seamen swab the poopdeck!

                • tyren22
                  tyren22
                  March 29, 2013 at 1:13 pm | #

                  Oh snap, a double play!

  11. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    March 29, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

    Danny’s actually insecure about the fact that Ethan has eye whites and he doesn’t. Is that something girls look for in a man?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      March 29, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

      Whites of the eyes are over-rated, Mike has being doing plenty of mums without them.

      • Pyr05
        Pyr05
        March 29, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

        Beady eyes are damn sexy.

    • Totz the Plaid
      Totz the Plaid
      March 29, 2013 at 1:31 am | #

      You know, that kinda explains why Danny’s too blind to notice Amber and Amazi-Girl are one in the same: his pupils can never dilate to adjust to differing light, so he’s half-blind most of the time.

      • thomas0comer
        thomas0comer
        March 29, 2013 at 5:26 pm | #

        They still dilate, but he doesn’t have scleras to reflect back excess light and the other useful things they do, so he’s still half-blind.

        • Jim
          Jim
          March 30, 2013 at 1:11 pm | #

          Sort of like how Barney is too blind to see that Fred is actually a pretty crappy friend?

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      March 30, 2013 at 12:59 pm | #

      He traded them for superior piloting skills.

  12. HotRider
    HotRider
    March 29, 2013 at 12:27 am | #

    From the look on Joyce face I am predicting when they leave Ethan is going to decide to continue the charade, maybe out of a desire not to hurt this nice new friend he has made. Ethan annoys me at times but I perceive him as a gentle guy, no way he confesses to Joyce.This will force Mike do perform some amazing feat of dickery to rectify the situation.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      March 29, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

      Mike will kick everyone in the nuts (he actually has plastic surgeons on standby to make sure all people within range have nuts at the time of impact) and will tell everyone Ethan’s gay. Then off to the playground to punt children.

      • HotRider
        HotRider
        March 29, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

        My hope he does it in a way that also cuts through everyone else’s bullshit (Dorothy, Walky, Ethan,Joyce, Amber, Billie, and on and on) in a massive Hannibal speech. OR as a call back to Shortpacked Ethan and Joyce get a bit touchy feely at a party, the next morning they are found by the rest of the cast, naked, in bed…..with Mike….(and their moms)

    • BranTheQuixotic
      BranTheQuixotic
      March 29, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

      I think you might be right, now that Amber isn’t there to burn a hole in the back of his head with her ferocious stare.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        March 29, 2013 at 1:31 am | #

        Amber’s stare shall burn through buildings, Ethan will constantly feel the burn until he breaks it off.

    • tyren22
      tyren22
      March 29, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

      I hope not. I think it’d be easier to rationalize spilling the beans in the context of “Joyce is mad ’cause she thinks Amber was hitting on me or something just now, I might as well tell her why Amber really yanked me out of the restaurant.”

    • dcmeserve
      dcmeserve
      March 29, 2013 at 2:15 am | #

      No, man. Joyce is gonna start laying into him about “what’s going on with this ex-girlfriend?!” and stuff, and he’ll be forced to bring out his orientation as his defense.

      • tyren22
        tyren22
        March 29, 2013 at 1:17 pm | #

        I could easily imagine him backing down even then but like I said above, I hope he doesn’t.

        • HotRider
          HotRider
          March 29, 2013 at 4:11 pm | #

          I second this, I really want him to show some principles. He is obsessed with a kind of safe little bubble. He wants to obsess over his toys and have his friends and have everything in order. Like he said to to Amber, he wants to be in control. I think everyone wants that. Admitting the truth to Joyce is the right thing to do, its going to be an uncomfortable experience to a degree and he does not know exactly how she will react. But it is the right thing to do, Sadly we tend to do things that seem safer at the moment rather then things that may be tough but is the best choice in the long run, we’ve seen that with characters in the strip so far.

          • dcmeserve
            dcmeserve
            March 30, 2013 at 1:08 am | #

            +1 Insightful. 🙂

  13. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    March 29, 2013 at 12:28 am | #

    And we still don’t see the unveiling? But we do see a very perturbed Joyce: Ethan hitting on Danny: Danny still clueless to everything. Amber trying to do the socially correct thing?

  14. TPmanW
    TPmanW
    March 29, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

    Danny’s just a really smooth dude huh?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      March 29, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

      Smooth as cheap toilet paper.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        March 29, 2013 at 1:22 am | #

        Smooth as a porcupine’s butt.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          March 29, 2013 at 1:53 am | #

          Smooth as a brier patch.

          • Chronos
            Chronos
            March 29, 2013 at 2:03 am | #

            Smooth as sandpaper.

            • dcmeserve
              dcmeserve
              March 29, 2013 at 2:18 am | #

              Smooth as a field of rocks to a skydiver.

              • Sailor_Arashi
                Sailor_Arashi
                March 29, 2013 at 6:14 am | #

                Smooth as some thing that isn’t smooth.

                • Zababcd
                  Zababcd
                  March 29, 2013 at 7:10 am | #

                  Smooth as the absolute value function in the region of x = 0.

                • Notebooked
                  Notebooked
                  March 29, 2013 at 7:27 pm | #

                  Smooth as a cat’s tongue. Garnished with gravel.

  15. BranTheQuixotic
    BranTheQuixotic
    March 29, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

    He still isn’t out to her! Aaah! And now we have yet another weekend for the tension to continue to build!

    I can express my feelings about this only in this way: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnPlHvXIJPs

  16. Davriel
    Davriel
    March 29, 2013 at 12:57 am | #

    Joyce is…unappreciative of that little break Amber & Ethan took.

    • NCP19
      NCP19
      March 29, 2013 at 1:03 am | #

      Your current gravatar makes that statement all the better.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      March 29, 2013 at 1:33 am | #

      Boys are like pillows to Joyce, she does not share.

  17. name
    name
    March 29, 2013 at 2:02 am | #

    The realistic characters and real world tone of this comic added with Danny not being able to see that Amber is Amazi-girl makes me have this irrational hatered of Danny that I doubt I’ll ever get over. I seriously want nothing more then to see his life in ruin.

    • f.p.
      f.p.
      March 29, 2013 at 2:08 am | #

      He already has to be Danny. Isn’t that punishment enough?

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        March 29, 2013 at 3:12 am | #

        “I’m Danny Wilcox and I have to live with that every daaaay.”

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          March 29, 2013 at 9:58 am | #

          I read that in Hagan’s voice, awesome. XD

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      March 29, 2013 at 12:43 pm | #

      I would like to believe that Danny actually knows already, but is playing along because it’s expected of him as part of the superhero genre.

      Sadly, I know this is probably not the case.

      • TheStranger
        TheStranger
        March 30, 2013 at 8:19 pm | #

        I feel like he’s figured it out by this point. He’s being…sardonic or ironic or some damn thing here. Why would he feel compelled to mention his insecurity compared to Amber’s ex otherwise? By framing it as ‘dating Amazi-Girl’, he’s able to put the insecurity out there without dumping it ‘directly’ on Amber.

        If that makes sense.

        • Kernanator
          Kernanator
          March 30, 2013 at 10:41 pm | #

          Having someone else support my crazy theory feels really validating.

  18. James
    James
    March 29, 2013 at 2:07 am | #

    Now that is a death glare

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      March 29, 2013 at 2:22 am | #

      I am oh so tempted to make that my gravatar. Should I? Or should I just keep it as the Condom Cap?

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        March 29, 2013 at 2:24 am | #

        But you’re good ol’ “Condom Cap Kernanator! If you change I won’t recognize you!

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        March 29, 2013 at 2:32 am | #

        For reference, I am referring to Joyce’s face in the third panel.

        • Heavensrun
          Heavensrun
          March 29, 2013 at 7:01 am | #

          http://imgur.com/VbOXDim I’ll just leave this here.

          • DEG1377
            DEG1377
            March 29, 2013 at 7:31 am | #

            Oh god I laughed so hard it hurts!

          • Charles RB
            Charles RB
            March 29, 2013 at 8:02 am | #

            GLORY!!

          • Zababcd
            Zababcd
            March 29, 2013 at 8:07 am | #

            That’s superb.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            March 29, 2013 at 9:29 am | #

            Now that’s what I call an edit! 😀

          • Kernanator
            Kernanator
            March 29, 2013 at 12:39 pm | #

            😀 THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!

            I’m making it my Gravatar right now.

            • Regalli
              Regalli
              March 29, 2013 at 2:46 pm | #

              It is a thing of beauty.

            • Jim
              Jim
              March 30, 2013 at 1:51 pm | #

              I also applaud all involved in the creation of this. I believe my traceroute goes something like this:
              Dave Willis => Kernanator => Dave Willis => Kernanator => Heavensrun => Kernanator => Mike’s penis => nickel => Your Mom => Dave Willis

          • John
            John
            March 29, 2013 at 12:55 pm | #

            I approve this solution to the dilemma!

  19. Notebooked
    Notebooked
    March 29, 2013 at 6:24 am | #

    Drama…postponed! Huh.
    Amber seems to be catching Joyce’s death glare. Maybe she knows the reason Joyce is upset, and if Ethan decides not to tell her — again — and Joyce confronts Amber about “hitting” on her boyfriend, it’ll be up to Amber to tell the truth. With Joyce being shocked she would spread such horrible lies just to try to get Joyce to dump him.

    • vsophi
      vsophi
      March 29, 2013 at 3:49 pm | #

      Oh, that would be an interesting turn of events.

  20. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    March 29, 2013 at 6:30 am | #

    Come on Joyce, turn that frown upside down!

    • Robbie C
      Robbie C
      March 29, 2013 at 7:20 am | #

      Done.

      • DEG1377
        DEG1377
        March 29, 2013 at 7:32 am | #

        This expression terrifies me. What is she plotting….?

      • Gordon Blvd
        Gordon Blvd
        March 29, 2013 at 7:54 am | #

        BONUS POINTS FOR Robbie C!!!!!! well done, sir! Yon win an internets 🙂

      • Jimmy
        Jimmy
        March 29, 2013 at 9:30 am | #

        Excellent!

      • thomas0comer
        thomas0comer
        March 29, 2013 at 5:28 pm | #

        PLANS

  21. Intie
    Intie
    March 29, 2013 at 7:53 am | #

    Good god Danny makes me cringe so hard.

    • Jon Cann
      Jon Cann
      March 29, 2013 at 9:39 am | #

      I mean, I guess saying “I’m glad I’m not dating you” to somebody YOU SHOT DOWN probably just comes from being awkward about said shooting down, but still, yikes, Danny. Way to completely miss the other person’s perspective.

      • Notebooked
        Notebooked
        March 29, 2013 at 7:25 pm | #

        Plus, there’s the stealth-confession: “Even if I was dating you, I’m so bland/you’re so fickle that you’d go for a better dude any day.”

    • Sock
      Sock
      March 29, 2013 at 11:33 am | #

      He makes Amber hard, too.

  22. Bill M.
    Bill M.
    March 29, 2013 at 11:51 am | #

    Panel 1 Joyce: Stare Hard
    Panel 2 Joyce: (offscreen) Stare Hard 2: Stare Harder
    Panel 3 Joyce: Stare Hard with a Vengeance
    Panel 4 Joyce: (offscreen) Live Free or Stare Hard

    • null
      null
      March 29, 2013 at 2:15 pm | #

      Joyce is hoping that “staring daggers” isn’t just an idiom

    • Nightmarewarden
      Nightmarewarden
      March 29, 2013 at 4:17 pm | #

      She stared so hard it made Dina vanish from existence, never to be seen again.

    • thomas0comer
      thomas0comer
      March 29, 2013 at 5:30 pm | #

      Stare Hard 5: The Empire Strikes back

      • Notebooked
        Notebooked
        March 29, 2013 at 7:24 pm | #

        Stare Hard 6: This Time It’s Personal
        Stare Hard 7: Disa-stare
        Stare Hard 8 (with the eight turned on its side, like an infinity sign): The Dare to Stare

        • JBO
          JBO
          March 29, 2013 at 11:10 pm | #

          Stare Hard 9: Electric Boogaloo

      • xKiv
        xKiv
        March 30, 2013 at 2:52 pm | #

        IRTA “The Empire Stares Back” …

  23. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    March 29, 2013 at 1:18 pm | #

    Also: “Ethan left his awkward teenage years like a boss.” Straight into his awkward adult years.

    • Notebooked
      Notebooked
      March 29, 2013 at 7:21 pm | #

      I read you were changing your avatar and felt a twinge in my heart as an era passed.

      But that…that is golden.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        March 29, 2013 at 9:44 pm | #

        It’s great, because you can interpret it as Joyce being displeased she is being forced to wear it.

        • Notebooked
          Notebooked
          March 30, 2013 at 6:29 am | #

          “Safe sex! Only do it after marriage, so you can trust–ow!”
          “Follow the script.”

  24. JA
    JA
    March 30, 2013 at 1:58 am | #

    Joyce looks like an angry chimp for some reason.

  25. Peking
    Peking
    March 30, 2013 at 8:50 pm | #

    Old testament pretty clear. Any male who lies with a male as with a woman shall be put to death.

    New testament pretty clear. Merely coming out, being openly homosexual even if you never act on it means excommunication and eternal damnation. You are required to never act on it, and required to stay in the closet. Don’t ask, don’t tell, and don’t have gay sex.

    This is in fact easier than it sounds. A survey of close kin of those who died of aids found no homosexuals. Presumably they had all been scared straight.

    • JA
      JA
      March 31, 2013 at 12:42 am | #

      And yet nothing is said about lesbians. Granted, there’s like…ONE passage that may or may not reference it, but it’s very vague.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        March 31, 2013 at 2:22 am | #

        Only Romans 1:26 in the New Testament comes close to mentioning lesbians and even that is not conclusive.

        Romans 1:26 “Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones.”

        The verse is so vague that it could be just as likely to be refering to beastiality as lesbianism.

    • DragonStryk72
      DragonStryk72
      March 31, 2013 at 10:52 am | #

      Actually, the Old Testament sections that were against homosexuality were ruled null and void by the first Pope. Interestingly, All of Leviticus was tossed out, hence the line “since the time of St. John the Baptist, we are no longer under the Law, but under Grace.” Leviticus was the book of law for the Hebrews. This is why people also won’t be put to death for having tattoos (Yup, it’s in Leviticus)

      • David
        David M Willis
        March 31, 2013 at 7:15 pm | #

        In the authentic writings of Paul, he indicates that Peter had trouble rejecting the Law in favor of grace. Discarding the Law was Paul’s thing, and we don’t know if Peter ever came around on that argument. It was a large point of disagreement in the early years of the Church — we know Paul’s side eventually won, but we’ll probably never know if Peter eventually agreed with him.

        (By Peter I mean the real actual Peter, not the two guys who wrote the New Testament letters each pretending to be Peter.)

  26. Peking
    Peking
    March 30, 2013 at 8:52 pm | #

    Correction: You will be happy to hear that lesbian sex is no problem, though really you should keep it with the family, as in having sex with your husband’s concubines.

  27. Azrael
    Azrael
    March 31, 2013 at 4:37 am | #

    Joyce’s face in Panel 3: 😆

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      March 31, 2013 at 5:35 pm | #

      I know, it’s the best.

  28. Stephen
    Stephen
    September 10, 2014 at 1:28 pm | #

    Archives time! Now that the Luigi Death Stare is a thing, I think that a picture of Joyce driving in Mario Kart giving her Death Stare is in order.

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