Have some Christmassy art I drew this mornin’.
And the day before.
There will be beatdowns.
…and cavity searches.
And most likely things shoved up those cavities…
Time to schedule my next dentist appointment.
And my next prostate exam…
At the same time.
Hopefully the former performed before the latter….
Speak for yourself, some would say.
I’m not into that
There will be blood.
This is lookin’ like it’ll be the bitchinest game of Capes’n’Knives ever.
First she stole her innocence.
Then she stole her man.
Take back whats HERS!
Dumb Hard 4: FALL OF THE WALKERTONS
The Dork Knight.
sounds good. i’d watch it.
^^^So much win^^^
NO WHAT NO THIS CAN HAVE NO POSITIVE OUTCOMES
Danny went after her. So there’s that.
Yeah, maybe he’ll run into her and say “Wow, ‘Amaze-girl’, you changed fast” and then maybe Amber will punch him in the jaw. Hopefully.
Why would you want her to punch him in the jaw.
Because we can’t do it ourselves.
This is a thing that is true.
Why do you want him to be hurt at all, I should say. What has he done?
he was an idiot and she is in rage mode and might suffer her rampage when she goes after Sal who might beable to beat her. At least that’s how I see the fight going in my head somehow sal able to dodge amber’s moves.
He committed the unforgiveable crime of being vanilla in a cast that’s 51 flavors of bugfuck insane.
Ummm I don’t think that analogy works….because vanilla is the favorite flavor
He might see it as breaking up.
Because interest in him can only be a sign of low self esteem. Amber should want better.
Even if Mike’s interpretation was right, she should aim higher.
Why would interest in someone who’s stated goal is to be the perfect boyfriend be a sign of low self esteem?
Not even using a phone booth!
Watch your stairways closely!
D-did she change While she was running?
Where was she even keeping that costume in the first place?
The same place where Optimus Prime’s trailer goes when he transforms, I guess.
I think it was the whole Japanese thing where she is floating in the air, back lit, and the costume swirls around her.
Real hitmen/women keep their costumes in their shoes. *nods*
What if she’s only costumed in her head? That is, she has “turned into” Amazi-Girl, but remains in mufti?
Then why would that guy take her picture?
Who can even find a phonebooth to change with anymore.
Hey, the Clark Kent thing works in this universe.
Hence the guy in the background of 3 and 5, taking a cell phone pic in the latter.
Going out in midday, perfectly smart idea.
Amazi-Girl was never a smart idea.
Is it Beat-Down O’Clock???
Going by the way she is pulling her glove, I would say more like Bend-Over O’Clock.
It’s Beat-Down-O’clock somewhere!
Beat-Down-O’clock always happens about 60 minutes after Happy Hour.
IT’S VADER TIME!
I’d take a vader bomb from amazigirl
and a Stabby New Year.
Prospero ano y policia
Lest we forget Kwanzassault
I’ll pay that one too, +1 LIKED.
Now that’s cute ^_^ +1 LIKE
I’m just an all around winner today.
Merry Fistmas indeed
She’s ready to hand out boots-to-the-face for Sole-Stice.
Prospero anus and police to you too!
Prosperous anus. Prosperous. Shakespeare’s Prospero has nothing to do with this.
Live long, Prosper.
I can’t believe I forgot Weird Al. He’s got the perfect song for this.
Merry Christmas, you filthy animal. *fires tommygun* And Happy New Year.
Yippee-ki-yay, Mike. (Hey, it’s a christmas season movie, too.)
I don’t know, Bob. Some of the folks here aren’t my type.
well maybe this won’t go so well
I see Amber’s gone to the Bat-girl school of Costume changing.
And by that you must mean the awesome Stephanie Brown Batgirl correct??
Cass Batgirl is my lifeblood.
I MADE POPCORN! I AM READY!
I’LL BRING THE SALT AND BUTTER
Amazi-Girl is bringing assault and battery
You mean she’s giving out assaults for Christmas, batteries included?
Well places your bets folks.
Amazi-girl vs Sal -> Amazi-girl, sal is not as bad-assed as everyone thinks.
Amazi-girl vs Danny -> Danny, cause he’s already ripped out her heart
Amazi-girl vs Sal + Marcie -> numbers win in a cat fight
Amazi-girl vs Sal + Joyce -> Joyce as she cries, “Can’t we all just get along. and admire Sal’s beautiful, rumpled hair.”
Yeah, I’m going with Sal over Amazi-Girl. I might be biased via the Walkyverse where Sal was uber-awesome, but I don’t think there’s been any revelation of Amber doing any training, and the `fights’ she’s been in that we’ve seen are mostly of the `WTF is going on, I’m gonna just give up, this is too weird!’ variety. I just don’t see Amber taking Sal.
Course, if Sal does slap the stupid out of Amazi-girl, that’s gonna totally break Amber’s mind. Which is can be argued she needs, because she’s not really healthy in her head.
Of course, as bad as Willis has been treating Amber, I’m almost expecting Amazi-Girl to trip over an untied bootlace, do a header down the steps and get hit by an ice cream truck. Then the ambulance has a flat tire on the way to the hospital, during which white slavers kidnap her and sell her to a Canadian polar bear collector who mounts her head over his mantle.
Amazi-Girl’s back!! Somebody’s gonna get their butts kicked! I hope her powers aren’t amplified by emotional scars or anything.
I mean. Her power is an immunity to criticism, so emotional scarring would be her kryptonite, if anything
Honestly, she needs some constructive criticism.
Like, “HEY, YOU CRAZY.”
Since her powers come from emotional scars, I don’t see why not.
After running from Blaine – the negative emotions were “Buried, Compartmentalized, Re-purposed”.
She put her mask on before doing so.
Which just put off dealing with her issues, just like Ethan is doing. They really are meant for each other.
Especially if ‘Amazi-Girl” starts leaving out self-addressing pronouns when she speaks, and adds snapping other people’s fingers to her signature moves list.
OH THIS AIN’T GON’ END WELL.
Oh Willis, you tease.
Does she keep her costume under her normal clothes like Superman?
Christ, she must go through more clothes than the Hulk.
It must be embarassing when Clark or peter forget their costumes and they’re just exposing their bare chests to the public.
Well, Clark can pull it off, I’m sure, but I think Peter might attract a few laughs.
but its over her clothes look u can see shirt
No, look at the first panel, you can see her shirt under her costume
she also dropped a glove
In her backpack. She’s wearing her ordinary clothes under the costume; you can see her plaid shirt at the shoulder and cuff until she gets it straightened out and her gloves on.
Dave Willis’ Frank Miller’s AMAZI-GIRL
Did Amber become a prostitute while I wasn’t looking?!!
They are coming, my mind can sense them.
context for all my friends:
HO HO HO and a Merry Xmas.
Don’t you mean… XXXmas?
Yeah, I punched myself for that..
A prostitute who favors swastika-themed jewelry and a crewcut?
Because you need both of those things to be a REAL Frank Miller Prostitute ™ in the 2010′s.
DAMN YOU WILLIS
And here go! Not even waiting till night time to vent her anger
Marry Christmas eve everybody
It’s christmas Day where I am.
I already got my Xmas presents for this year, a new shoulder bag and several boxes of chocolate, which would be ideal if not for the fact that I’m diabetic.
So where will you put those chocolates in order to restore cosmic harmony?
If someone gives you a gift whip, that does not mean he mistakes you for a horse.
I will still eat them, I just have to up the dose of Metformin for the next few days.
Here’s wishing you “normal” a1c’ s!
It’s 1:30 P.M where I’m from.
Amber’s ready for an ass-kicking Christmas.
Oh, wait, it’s not even December yet in-strip. Oh, well.
Christmas beatings for everyone!
The continuance of the flashbacks terrify me. I don’t think it’s just “Sal robbed that convenience store”. There’s past-injury coming…
Sal stabbed everyone.
Is that why there’s no Lucy in this comic?!
It’s why there’s no Guns. She was all, “Woo, lookit me, I’m a chick with guns!” and Sal stabbed her to death.
I thouht I saw Miss Lucy down along the track. She lost her home and her family and she won’t be comming back.
Based on the flashback panels, I would have believed it if the hovertext said “and that was when Sal grabbed Ethan, yanked him away from Amber, and stabbed him. And thus, he died.”
Presumably the Ethan we’ve seen in the comic is merely Amber’s hallucination.
Or he got re-incarnated at a pizza place
Why is it not even a stretch to imagine Joyce is also hallucinating her gay boyfriend?
It’s not a stretch at all, especially since everything post-party has been a dream sequence for Joyce as she lays in a coma from a bad reaction to whatever Ryan put in her drink.
My current guess is that 13-y.o. Sal took Amber hostage with the knife in order to get access to the cash register. Though it would then strain credibility a bit for Sal to not recognize Amber later . . .
I think Sal took Ethan hostage in front of Amber, actually, based on how Ethan’s being hauled away from Amber after they were both hiding (you can see Sal’s fingers clutching Ethan’s sleeve). I wonder if Sal has ever canonically seen Ethan at school, and I wonder if she even remembers him.
They’ve crossed paths a couple times before. If they recognized each other, their reactions were very understated.
this feels like the beginning of a phoenix wright case
So she has mastered the art of the comic book Quick Change?
Then it is now official… Amazi-Girl is now a full-on SUPER-Hero from just a vigilante.
Given her current mental state I’d say she’s about become a supervillian
Given that this mental state is exactly what made her Amazi-Girl to begin with, maybe not Danny.
That little red-headed guy better run away if he knows what is good for him.
He’ll be fine. She’ll be too busy running.
Running from herself…
And… the LAW.
I AM THE LAWWWGHWW
AND I AM JAVERT
DO NOT FORGET MY NAME!
My name is what? My name is who? My name is what? My name is… Slim Shady.
Did Sal grab Ethan and use him as a hostage?
That’s what I was wondering!
That’s all I can really focus on, yeah. Which makes for more potential drama!
I dunno, I think this is Amber’s reinvention of the past. Pretty sure it would have been mentioned that Sal took a hostage or committed assault with a deadly weapon when she robbed the convenience store. I doubt Walky would have held back on any of those juicy details; I may be wrong but all I recall him saying was, “You robbed a convenience store!” Not, “You threatened a kid’s life with a knife while you were robbing a convenience store!”
So, right now, I’m of the opinion Amber is either remembering incorrectly, making the incident worse than it actually was…or Willis drew it as he did deliberately, so later he can laugh at us when he explains that what we see isn’t what we THINK we’re seeing.
You’re assuming that Walky knows all the details. At 13, it’s entirely possible that his parents didn’t feel the need to tell him anything beyond what it would take to explain why his sister went away.
I notice that there is no tag for the guy taking a picture. Is it because only the picture will come back to haunt her or because he will get a tag when he gets named in a later strip?
Hopefully it wasn’t taken before she pulled her glove on over her normal clothes that were showing past her costume sleeve, otherwise her identity’s even more at stake.
News flash: Amazi-girl wears SHIRTS!
You’re right, knowing that she is both a short haired brunette AND that she wears green yellow PLAID definitely wouldn’t narrow down her identity.
The guy taking the picture looks a lot like me in real life. Until and unless he gets officially named, I’m going to assume he’s me. His name is Gabriel.
Wait, I think Sal is tearing Ethan fro behind the shelves to hold him as captive until she get money. Although, she may want some bubblegum and doesn’t know any other way to ask besides taking a bystander hostage.
For some reason, the art for today’s comic seems to be a big step up. Especially the last panel. Can’t put my finger on why.
Damn pretty though.
I THOUGHT THE FLASHBACKING WAS OVER WILLIS.
YOU LIED TO US.
I’m guessing that Amber’s having PTSD flashbacks.
You know, I hear heartbeats when I see the flashback parts.
Good to see Amber has mastered the superhero art of rapid costume change. Did she even use a broom closet?!
I’m thinking that’s the window of her dorm room she’s jumping from.
Nah, it’s the door of Clark Wing. You can see the sign above it.
ooh dang, yeap! STATEMENT REDACTED
YOU WERE NEVER HERE
WE WERE NEVER HERE
MERRY OFFICIAL CHRISTMAS
Well, at least if Danny finds her, it’s gonna be easy to figure out his mistake.
I doubt it.
“Wow, Amazi-Girl. *whisper* You change fast, Sal.”
Sal: I’m standin’ right here, boy.
Danny makes Lois Lane look like Sherlock Holmes.
So can anyone be more oblivious than Danny?
Well, Danny hasn’t identified Amazi-Girl as being a car yet, so he’s still trailing Shortpacked!-Robin in the obliviousness stakes.
Changes clothes, height, build, skin tone, hair, cup size…
Is Amazi-Girl secretly a plastic surgeon? More on this after a message from our sponsors.
Amber is Amazi-girl?!
I suggested that wild theory months ago, and was met with disbelief and denial.
Folks aren’t ready for such out of the box thinking when it comes to Amazi-Girl.
We are sorry for not believing you. Can you ever forgive us?
I’m sure those who believed were simply drowned out by those who had more mainstream views.
Heh, I mean it’s not like mentioning Amber as Amazi-Girl is going to get the attention of the continuity police like, say, mentioning Stephanie Brown as Batgirl, who in the new 52 doesn’t exist. So therefore I shouldn’t know that, but I do so I’m a threat to DC’s ‘we hate characters that aren’t depressed and from the silver age’ core leadership. But it’s not like they’re going to find m…
Hang on…knock at the door….
I think we’re being given some misdirection. It’s not like Amber is the only person in the DoA universe to have a yellow/green plaid shirt.
She’s about to do something stupid.
Ummm … where did I hear this before??
Oh, right! That’s what makes Danny the perfect match for her, isn’t it?
But the capes are cool! Whats the worst that can happen?
Do you remember Thunderhead?
November 15th of ’58! All was well, another day saved, when … his cape snagged on a missile fin! Stratogale! April 23rd, ’57! Cape caught in a jet turbine! Metaman, express elevator! Dynaguy, snagged on takeoff! Splashdown, sucked into a vortex! NO CAPES!!
And what does it say about me that I was able to type this from memory?
And what does it say about me that I mentally filled in everything you didn’t type?
That you two are awesome Incredibles fans and all of us should be rewarded by a sequel.
Capes are more than just cool. They’re effective for misdirection and as shields in hand-to-hand combat, and we’ve seen Amazi-Girl using hers as a whip.
Where was she keeping the suit?
Super-compressed, in a ring.
-starts humming the tune from Batman: Mask of the Phantasm-
You are a man after my own heart, Corsair.
To me that looks more like a mans hand holding the knife.
in amber’s head (nsfw): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdSmzS1Fklk
HOLY SHIT DID SAL USE ETHAN AS A HOSTAGE WITH THE KNIFE
It’s a shame that it’s a nice day outside. Kinda wished it was raining with thunder in the background.
If her costume was patterned closer to her normal shirt the sub-title could be ‘The Plaid Knight Returns’
Let’s just hope that Willis don’t go the way of the Miller.
It wasn’t a dark and stormy night.
It should have been, but that’s the weather for you. For every mad scientist who’s had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who’ve sat around aimlessly under the peaceful stars while Igor racks up the overtime.
–Neil Gaiman/Terry Pratchett, Good Omens
Yes, but Igors are worth the cost.
Yea, but every few months a new I-gor comes out and you have to weight the options of turning the old one in and transferring data, penalty fees, new contract extensions, etc…
Sometimes it’s best to not keep up with the Frankenstein’s.
Great, now I imagined Amazi-Girl doing the Dark Knight Returns pose….too bad I can’t draw!
Waitwaitwait, is that Amber’s hoodie? I suspect someone’s getting unmasked. Preemptively: GODDAMIT WILLIS
Sal’s been stealing Amber’s clothes? Or maybe they exchanged clothes after some fun in the bedroom.
Looks like Sal’s… FELIZ NAVI-DEAD.
This is an honor, sir. Thank you.
Get a room.
So the original Ethan was killed during that robbery long ago, and replaced with a Skull impersonator. That was an unexpected plot twist.
Or…Ethan is actually a Doombot.
He could be a Synthodrone. Anyone who gets this reference achieves internet cookie .
What kind of cookie do you prefer?
Chocolate Chocolate Chip please!
Just don’t ask for Monkey Bread or you’ll freak Ron out.
Only got Double choolate chocolate chip, that okay?
Yes, that’s fine.
No Amber don’t do it
DAMMIT, JOHN MADDEN, WHERE’S THAT TRADEMARK PASSION?!
He’s got no motivation for this scene.
Does Ethan have any canon scars up to this point?
I need to know because reasons.
She’s gonna seduce Sal in the Amazi-Girl outfit, right?
Panel 5: Prepare your anus!
THIS IS GOOD.
DANNY WILL SEE HER AND REALIZE SHE IS TOO SHORT TO BE THE PERSON WHO JUSTIN HE JUST LOST HIS DS TO.
*The field at Memorial Stadium caves in.*
Holy shit did Ethan get stabbed or something? What am I missing here?
No, that was Sal over at the register raising her knife. They were still behind the food shelves. Looks like Amber was upset with Ethan though, guessing she was saying something along the lines of “We have to do something.”
I’m pretty sure Sal is taking Ethan hostage in the second panel. If you look at his sleeve, you can see someone hauling him backwards away from Amber as she reaches toward him.
I hope she punches Danny! He robbed that convenience store!
She’s about to bring A WHOLE WORLD OF PAIN!
She’s gonna find Ryan (Joyce’s attempted rapist), I got a feeling.
That actually makes sense. Excellent hypothesis, my friend. *golf clap*/10
duuuuuuude that would be amazing
best comment on the day… you got a good feeling. Ryan wouldn’t be feeling so good. And the guy with the camera phone catches it all on video for everyone on YouTube to enjoy.
How did she change so fast? I thought her only superpower was immunity to criticism!
Is that a criticism? If so, she’s immune.
Hey thanks Willis! While Shortpacked! gets one of its awesomest day Dumbing of Age gets one of its figuratively darkest.
yeah seriously. sp! is so so so happy and such a YAAAAAY and this is just, augh, in the middle of some Intense Intense Intensity
Wonder Woman was doing the ‘twirl in the middle of the room while in a dress that transforms suddenly into her Wonder Woman costume” a very long time ago.
Sorta looks like Amber has mastered that with a reverse spin: hit her dorm room dressed, half way across the room she’s in Amazi-girl garb as she bounces out the window. Unfortunate landing however.
Camera boy shouldn’t have a big problem exterpolating the launch site?
Said it before, say it again: too bad Sal, Amber is coming for you.
I could be wrong, Mr. Willis is good at curveballs and it could be Danny: but Danny is not prominent in these flashbacks, and Sal is.
I have no clue which one of them is coming out ahead in this showdown. Amber has the element of surprise. But I think Sal is better able to handle street fighting.
She’s not “bouncing out the window,” she’s charging out the front door. Assuming she had the costume in her backpack, as theorized by other posters, she may have gone into the dorm in order to do the most-important parts of the change (climb into the bodysuit and, of course, put the mask on) in a restroom stall, and decided to put on the rest on-the-fly. So Amazi-Girl emerging from Clark isn’t necessarily a “Holy shit, Amazi-Girl is Amber O’Malley!” moment. It’s not even necessarily a “Holy shit, Amazi-Girl is someone who lives in Clark!” moment.
“Costume’s in her backpack” is Word of God from a while back, though I don’t have a link handy.
I’m thinking she pulled it out and leaped into it on the run, maybe in an empty hallway. She doesn’t look in the mood to stop and find a changing spot so she can be circumspect.
…anyone else start hearing the Dr. Horrible theme in that last panel, or is that just me?
Oh no, does that mean Danny’s going to die? :O
Depends on whether Amber and Sal try fighting with an obviously broken weapon, I would think.
oh no oh no oh no
kick her ass Amazin’ Girl
I’m rooting for Sal to kick her ass.
Sal deserves to have her ass kicked, Amber serves to kick it
Have you ever tried kicking your own ass?
It takes some flexibility and a good amount of momentum on the backward swing of the leg, but is doable, though the effect is negligible, even if you do manage to connect.
This one has a good guess on what’s about to happen! Amazigirl is going to go after Sal, jump to the conclusion that she stole the DS from Danny, and proceed to teach Sal just what Justice tastes like.
And now Danny will see that he was schmoozing the wrong girl.
Actually, with that kid with the phone snapping pics, I think Danny is about to be Lois Laned.
So… did she really just eat shit walking down a flight of stairs?
no she was just flying out! I mean, flying in the not science fiction way.
Amazi-Girl is back in action! It’s a Christmas miracle!
Sal and/or Danny as targets? Unworthy of her rage right now.
Dare I hope her abusive father-in-fact-but-SO-not-in-spirit is still lurking around?
Now, THAT would be an epic and well-deserved beatdown!
Let’s. Get. Dangerous.
Amazigirl is Darkwing Duck?!?
Mike is gonna watch this massive beatdown and think “man that is so hawt” Also Mr. Willis I humbly request a magical girl sequence of Amber transforming into Amazai-girl
OR…Danny sees the beatdown and ends up witnessing Amazigirll getting unmasked and then shuns Amber for dressing up as such a poor imitation trying to get his attention.
Amber loses Danny’s trust AND her secret. Would fit the week she’s having.
This is either going to go very well or very badly depending on your point of view.
Not going anywhere? Just went out of the window :-/
I think I’m going to go find my happy place instead of here for a while.
Ah… Was she thrown out of the building?
No, she ran out of it.
Is it just me, or is there something going on with Amber’s skin in panels 1 and 3? Like green blotches to a certain point and then suddenly stop like she’s wearing hospital gloves?
It’s her civilian clothing.
Camera two ready on suprise combatant. Switch on my mark. Three, two, que Blaine, mark!
Look at the first pannel. Is Amber hiding some rad tattoo’s or something?
Nevermind, they are her clothes (the blue pattern threw me off). So she’s wearing her supersuit over her normal clothes.
Which sounds INSANELY uncomfortable. She was already layered, the costume isn’t exactly baggy…
A good reason to take out her frustration on Sal (or Danny if he Dannys it up again)
Facing the problem versus trying to avoid the problem as much as possible.
Which one is Amber really doing when she dons the mantle of Amazi-Girl?
In a sense, both. She refuses to face reality and hides the part of herself she feels cannot handle the situation, and instead chooses to face it through an outlet that she feels is safe.
Amber goes to Amazi-Girl to vent the most negative of her emotions.
As she said, she compartmentalized her emotions. So her issues are not directly dealt with. She hits proxies for her anger instead of going through anger, denial, etc all the crying and yeling and acting out.
I actually thought this wasn’t going to get ugly, I don’t know what made me think that…AT ALL…
More like Feliz Navidead
SHIT’S ABOUT TO GET REAL.
I for one am thankful Shortpacked! is going through a cheery phase right now.
No way I could handle so much drama all at once.
It’s gonna get hot with a onesie and a jacket on.
Dear David Willis:
I expected to awake Christmas morning to find Amber and Danny locked in a romantic embrace, all worries forgotten in the throes of their passionate kiss. Instead you insinuate dark things to come, as if life wasn’t all romantic endings and fate didn’t bow in respect of Christmas. How dare you, sir, not modify the timing and story of these panels you drew months ago, purely to suit the whims I voiced two days prior.
You are a scoundrel, Mr. Willis, a scoundrel and a crook. May all your Autobots get some gunk on the turny parts, so they don’t really transform very well, and you probably have to clean them, maybe with some floss or a cue-tip, and you are so inconvenienced your holidays are ruined or at least tainted slightly. Then you’ll collapse on your bed, from exhaustion or because it’s late or whatever, and dream of Amber catching a break for five minutes, and realize the evil of your ways!
I know you cannot see my face, but picture it scowling sternly at you. Strernly I say!
It’s a Patrick Swayze Christmas miracle!
Five internets on Sal.
Either they kill each other, or make out. I hope for the latter.
You know seeing as she pulled that over her clothes, just where exactly did she have that thing hidden away?
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Who is the main character of Dumbing of Age?
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