Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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i wouldn't recommend trying to give yourself superspeed via a freak chemical accident
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July 1, 2026

Invest

by David M Willis on December 26, 2013 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - The Only Dope For Me Is You
└ Tags: amazi-girl, marcie, sal

Discussion (213) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    December 26, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    or at least an Amazi-Scooter

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      December 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

      or even the Amazi-Bicycle.

      • Bill
        Bill
        December 26, 2013 at 12:03 pm | #

        +1 on the Amazi-Bicycle.  She can form her own team for the Little 500 come the springtime.

    • Tunaro
      Tunaro
      December 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

      Or a mobile. I’ll go sit in the corner…

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        December 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

        This is why it helps to be filthy rich.

        • newllend
          newllend
          December 26, 2013 at 1:45 am | #

          Is the Amazi-jet out of the question?

          • Led
            Led
            December 26, 2013 at 7:01 am | #

            Best would be an Amazi-Van… She could drive it AND have a small, mobile secret base in it!

            • Guest Person Dude
              Guest Person Dude
              December 26, 2013 at 9:26 am | #

              She could do amazing things in that van.
              -I- could do amazing things in that van.
              I am liking the idea.

            • Old Grognard
              Old Grognard
              February 20, 2014 at 4:41 pm | #

              +10 on this! I love the idea of a Mobile Amazi-Headquarters Van.

          • Charlie Spencer
            Charlie Spencer
            December 26, 2013 at 12:19 pm | #

            No, but the ‘Amazi-Ped’ is.

        • Lord Geovanni
          Lord Geovanni
          April 3, 2014 at 2:43 pm | #

          Its helps to have robbed 2 stores

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 26, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      Even an Amazi-skateboard would be helpful.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        December 26, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

        Only if AGs skills are at least as good as Marcie’s.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          December 26, 2013 at 12:39 am | #

          The Amazi-skills to pay the Amazi-bills.

          • ocbrad1
            ocbrad1
            December 26, 2013 at 2:20 pm | #

            +1 for the Beasties’ reference!

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        December 26, 2013 at 1:16 am | #

        Amazi-Skateboard paired with the grappling hook we already know she has could work.

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          December 26, 2013 at 1:41 am | #

          Dang, yeah–she needs to up the ante.

          Amazi-Jet.

          • Ben
            Ben
            December 26, 2013 at 2:14 am | #

            Maybe just some Amazi-Skates.

            • mai876
              mai876
              December 26, 2013 at 4:22 am | #

              A jet pack, that’s what she needs.

              • DSL
                DSL
                December 26, 2013 at 6:40 am | #

                Amazi-Segway.

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  December 26, 2013 at 12:41 pm | #

                  Maybe she can even make Segways cool.

                • Darkflame
                  Darkflame
                  December 27, 2013 at 8:18 am | #

                  Segways are already cool. People that think they arnt probably just either dont appreciate the tech, or dont realize they can go pretty darn fast.
                  Amber would appreciate both.

                • Roborat
                  Roborat
                  December 31, 2013 at 3:28 pm | #

                  Better get the off road version.

        • hmrc4evr
          hmrc4evr
          December 26, 2013 at 6:17 pm | #

          The big question is where should buy all this gear?

          Off top of my head I’d say Amazi-on

          • StClair
            StClair
            December 26, 2013 at 10:23 pm | #

            “Where does she get all those wonderful toys?”

          • Jen Aside
            Jen Aside
            December 27, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

            Amazi-Drone haha

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            December 31, 2013 at 3:29 pm | #

            ACME, just don’t chase road runners with any of their gear.

      • symbiote01
        symbiote01
        December 26, 2013 at 11:58 am | #

        Rollerblades. Er, Amazi-roller, um… blades. That and a little brute force, and she’d clean up on the Roller Derby circuit. Maybe learn a few new tricks…

    • vanjealous
      vanjealous
      December 26, 2013 at 7:37 am | #

      Or an Amazi-Big-Wheel. Do they still even make Big-Wheels anymore?

      • Cragalanch
        Cragalanch
        December 26, 2013 at 12:54 pm | #

        Amazi-Unicycle!

      • 0kami
        0kami
        December 27, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

        An Amazi- Penny Farthing?

        http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q78/KylePix/Museums/Historical/Ronald%20Reagan%20Library%20and%20Museum/101023-1482PennyFarthing.jpg

    • Kai Gon
      Kai Gon
      December 27, 2013 at 1:49 pm | #

      How about a flying broom or carpet? At least the broom would be pretty unsuspicious. 😉

    • Chris
      Chris
      October 11, 2014 at 2:51 am | #

      That way, she won’t have Joyce obsessively follow her.

  2. Ourorboros
    Ourorboros
    December 26, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    Well that’s one way to deal with your issues directly.

  3. Geminia999
    Geminia999
    December 26, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    See, that’s why you need to have your costume on at all times!

  4. TheOthin
    TheOthin
    December 26, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    Danny’s 3DS knows how to make its escape from his grubby fingers.

  5. Sageress
    Sageress
    December 26, 2013 at 12:01 am | #

    She’s really not the brightest, that Amber.

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      December 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

      She’s perfect for Danny then.

      • Wonder Wig
        Wonder Wig
        December 26, 2013 at 12:06 am | #

        An Amber alert goes up whenever he Dans things up.

        • hmrc4evr
          hmrc4evr
          December 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

          +1 internet for that pun

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          December 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

          So punworthy ^_^ +1 LIKE

    • Yesididstealthisjoke
      Yesididstealthisjoke
      December 26, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

      Nice girl, but she’s as sharp as a sack of wet mice.

      • Sageress
        Sageress
        December 26, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

        You stole that joke.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        December 26, 2013 at 12:23 am | #

        About as bright as an Ocean trench.

      • Questionor
        Questionor
        December 26, 2013 at 4:19 am | #

        http://youtu.be/-LCsiWL6gn0

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      December 26, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      To misquote Sal, “Nice girl, but she ain’t too smart.”

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        December 26, 2013 at 12:10 am | #

        Not such a clever girl.

        • Sageress
          Sageress
          December 26, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

          Bout as sharp as a baseball.

    • Blue Dragon
      Blue Dragon
      December 26, 2013 at 12:39 am | #

      She’s as bright as the day is long.

      (Happy belated Solstice, everybody!)

  6. Pterocine
    Pterocine
    December 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Where can I purchase that?

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      Same place Squirrel Girl got her Squirrel-I-Gig.

  7. Mr K
    Mr K
    December 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Quick, you need to think of some good pickup lines before you try anything with her.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 26, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

      I dunno, any chick who wants a shot with me and shows up dressed in a superhero outfit can skip the pickup line.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        December 26, 2013 at 12:30 am | #

        They’ll just nod in mutual agreement of their badassness and do the superhero equivelent of making out, which is just fighting crime together.

        • The Candyman
          The Candyman
          December 26, 2013 at 2:14 pm | #

          So every superhero meeting in the history of the universe is just them making out?

          I like it.

  8. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    December 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Yes you do. Merry Christmas 🙂

  9. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    December 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Screw an Amazi-Cycle, get an Amazi-Autogyro.

  10. Sageress
    Sageress
    December 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    Let’s all agree on one thing: Amber’s plan was dumb.

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      December 26, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

      Going around beating criminals for a hobby isn’t smart in the first place.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        December 26, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

        Unless you are filthy rich and have a lot of neat toys to do it with.

        • No
          No
          December 26, 2013 at 12:24 am | #

          Doesn’t matter how rich you are. Physical altercations have a way of causing everyone involved pain.

          • Marisa Mockery
            Marisa Mockery
            December 26, 2013 at 1:31 am | #

            Mike saying that is just weird…

          • Doom Shepherd
            Doom Shepherd
            December 26, 2013 at 5:23 pm | #

            That is why the Gods gave us ranged weapons.

        • thecanvashat
          thecanvashat
          December 26, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

          Then it becomes more than a hobby.

      • Valdrax
        Valdrax
        December 26, 2013 at 12:51 am | #

        And generally speaking people are less sympathetic towards people who beat up criminals who have served their time and done nothing more than “steal” your ex.

        • Ourorboros
          Ourorboros
          December 26, 2013 at 1:10 am | #

          Sure, but Amazi-Girl hasn’t exactly been explaining her actions. She’s just been labeled the campus vigilante, which has both good and bad connotations. I can’t imagine everybody has been saying they are small time criminals.
          You know, besides the fact that this is a fantasy world.

      • Jelli
        Jelli
        December 26, 2013 at 11:15 am | #

        Well, she hasn’t, really. Remember the guys with the stop sign?

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      December 26, 2013 at 4:25 am | #

      Calling it a plan is generous.

  11. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    December 26, 2013 at 12:02 am | #

    “Damn, she’s more bad ass than I am.”

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 26, 2013 at 12:31 am | #

      But at least I’ve got a nicer ass!

      • James
        James
        December 26, 2013 at 1:49 am | #

        ……no….Sal’s ass is as bad as it is firm.

        seriously sifting her weight on that bike on tight turns is quite a work out on the Gluteus Maximus.

        • sps48
          sps48
          December 26, 2013 at 2:43 pm | #

          It’s not shifting the weight, it’s pulling on the handlebars. Just a bit. It is subtle, though.

  12. Tacdud2
    Tacdud2
    December 26, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    I would love to see what the Amazi-cycle would look like.

  13. Locke
    Locke
    December 26, 2013 at 12:03 am | #

    Or just carjack in the name of NEBULOUS JUSTICE, Amber.

  14. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    December 26, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Amazi-car! It’s better because it shoots Amazi-Beams.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 26, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

      But the bike can be used to do Amazi-Wheelies!

    • hmrc4evr
      hmrc4evr
      December 26, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

      Willis I hate to ask but did my earlier ‘headlights’ joke get pulled? I know it was a little off color but it was no worse than some I’v seen at times…

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        December 26, 2013 at 1:20 pm | #

        How can a comment be offcolor? We’re all typing in BLACK. (Unless you’ve inverted the colors, in which case it’s white.)

    • Sageress
      Sageress
      December 26, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

      BAZOW

  15. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 26, 2013 at 12:05 am | #

    Unless of cause you get hit with lightning at the same time as being splashed with chemicals, then you get super-reflexes, super-speed, super-metabolism and access to the Speed-force.

    • Hythrain
      Hythrain
      December 26, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

      You could also hope to get lucky and meet with the god Mercury as he’s dying and hope he sees you as a hero such that he gives you similar powers.

      • Cthulhu's Intern
        Cthulhu's Intern
        December 26, 2013 at 12:34 am | #

        Super singing?

        • The Candyman
          The Candyman
          December 26, 2013 at 2:17 pm | #

          And super being a douche skills. But you could get those from any god, really.

    • hmrc4evr
      hmrc4evr
      December 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

      Then locked away in a dark corner with Stephanie Brown until everyone has been brainwashed into beliving the pair never existed and Silver Age versions are good enough for everyone since they are good enough for DC editorial.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 26, 2013 at 12:17 am | #

      Or you could just crash the Head Alien’s kiddie-abduction party and say “Yo, make with the speed, chop chop.”

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 26, 2013 at 12:33 am | #

      Or you could just be mega-dead.

    • DSL
      DSL
      December 26, 2013 at 6:44 am | #

      Amazi-chlorians?

  16. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    December 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    Yeah, Amber. If you want super-speed you’ve gotta get abducted by aliens. Everyone knows that.

  17. Sageress
    Sageress
    December 26, 2013 at 12:07 am | #

    Where’s Spider-Car when you need him.

    • Sageress
      Sageress
      December 26, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

      Holy halibut, a certain spider based, Automobilic American superhero is censored.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        December 26, 2013 at 12:12 am | #

        Willis got sick of everyone commenting about S-Car in the DoA comment section.

        • Sageress
          Sageress
          December 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

          Consarn it, the ONE time such a reference would be relevant.

          • nothri
            nothri
            December 26, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

            Relax. There are ways around the ultra!car limitation. You just have to get a little creative.

            • showler
              showler
              December 26, 2013 at 1:09 am | #

              Work around a filter created by the artist. Good way to get IP banned.

            • Curacaobill
              Curacaobill
              December 26, 2013 at 1:18 am | #

              You do relize that the person who makes the filter regularly checks the comments and will be non to pleased to read this

              • Marisa Mockery
                Marisa Mockery
                December 26, 2013 at 1:34 am | #

                Either that or he’ll be lulzing that they found a way around it at all. Rules are made to be broken. Or at least bent at a funny angle and then pointed at while walking in the opposite direction while whistling innocently….

                • James
                  James
                  December 26, 2013 at 1:58 am | #

                  Screw the rules I have a motorcycle!

              • Random832
                Random832
                December 26, 2013 at 10:12 am | #

                Except for the fact that the filter was intended to stop people making the “hurr amazi-girl isn’t amber she’s ultra car” joke which is thoroughly obsolete by now. I’m actually surprised it’s still in place.

          • Jenny Creed
            Jenny Creed
            December 26, 2013 at 9:05 am | #

            I think the reference is implicit in the strip itself anyway.

    • C.
      C.
      December 26, 2013 at 3:45 am | #

      She’s a human now anyway.

  18. The Candyman
    The Candyman
    December 26, 2013 at 12:08 am | #

    Go all the way Amber, pull out the Amazi-Mobile. Which is actually an 18-wheeler.

  19. Gordon Blvd
    Gordon Blvd
    December 26, 2013 at 12:11 am | #

    maybe she can buy that car Spider-Man had back in the 70’s………………………

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 26, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

      “Low mileage, only used once.”

  20. Ikaru
    Ikaru
    December 26, 2013 at 12:13 am | #

    So she was intending to attack Sal?…Huh.

  21. Juliecat
    Juliecat
    December 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    That second panel sounds awfully naughty…

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 26, 2013 at 12:35 am | #

      Amazi-girl fell into dispair
      While chasing the dark skinned girl with straight hair,
      And just when she thought life was not fair
      She had an idea that was…
      naaaaauuuuuuughhhhhhhtyyyyyy.

      • Kiggy
        Kiggy
        December 26, 2013 at 12:43 am | #

        I totally got that reference.

        BWAAAAHAHAHAHA!

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      December 26, 2013 at 9:36 am | #

      Greatest cartoon ever

  22. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    December 26, 2013 at 12:14 am | #

    You hear that people? Amber wants to take her from behind.
    START YOUR FANFICS.

    • Curacaobill
      Curacaobill
      December 26, 2013 at 1:20 am | #

      I thought that was your job

      • James
        James
        December 26, 2013 at 2:00 am | #

        A man can outsource every once and while

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          December 26, 2013 at 3:43 am | #

          I’m Fan-ART.
          Totally different medium.

    • TacosForever
      TacosForever
      December 26, 2013 at 1:32 pm | #

      I’m mainly just really surprised that more people haven’t commented on this. Willis fandom, you disappoint me.

    • Marc in MN
      Marc in MN
      December 26, 2013 at 7:28 pm | #

      Thank you.

      I was beginning to worry that I was the only one whose mind “went there” right away. =P

  23. Sageress
    Sageress
    December 26, 2013 at 12:15 am | #

    Ok so she was just gonna… beat her up? For a crime she’s done time for?

    Haha I like Amber less and less every day.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 26, 2013 at 12:36 am | #

      She’s still miles ahead of Ethan for me.

    • Ourorboros
      Ourorboros
      December 26, 2013 at 1:17 am | #

      The hold up was Amazi-Girl’s origin story. You always focus on your arch villain.
      Although it would help her to remember that’s she’s seen Sal in the dorms so she might live there, or at least be there again. A student’s life isn’t as predictable as other adult’s, but there are patterns.

      But please let none of this be about Dan. The campus – and all Big 10 campuses are sizable – has so many better guys for her.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      December 26, 2013 at 1:45 am | #

      I was to understand that she would show up as Amazi-Girl and prove to Danny that Sal wasn’t who he thought she was.

      But that seems like a lot to realize she would have to do from just seeing them together in a split second.

      So, I unno

      • Ourorboros
        Ourorboros
        December 26, 2013 at 2:34 am | #

        She didn’t know Danny thought Sal was Amazi-Girl.
        The flashbacks also make it look like this is more about Sal than Danny.

    • Bill
      Bill
      December 26, 2013 at 3:30 am | #

      Do we know that Sal served time, or even got caught?  Maybe that’s why Amber was taking out after her — unfinished business, so to speak.

      • kagato23
        kagato23
        December 26, 2013 at 1:34 pm | #

        … yes. Yes we do. Walky has talked about it.

    • fudo81
      fudo81
      December 26, 2013 at 6:10 am | #

      How do you know that she was gonna beat her up? All I can be sure of is that she wanted to confront her, and that doesn’t sound so unreasonable.

      • kagato23
        kagato23
        December 26, 2013 at 1:35 pm | #

        You don’t put on your punching-people vigilante outfit when you were already right there and just want to talk.

        In her defense, Amber isn’t thinking very rationally right now and is desperately looking for a problem she can punch. Oh the other hand, Amber isn’t thinking very rationally right now and is desperately looking for a problem she can punch… which is pretty lousy.

    • Jenny Creed
      Jenny Creed
      December 26, 2013 at 9:54 am | #

      Let’s see you act reasonably in the middle of a PTSD emotional breakdown fugue thing with multiple personalities.

    • Jen
      Jen
      December 26, 2013 at 1:17 pm | #

      You’re assuming that Amber knows Sal served time for the crime. We didn’t see sirens or police in the flashback, so maybe she got caught later?

      Also, maybe she’s not going to beat Sal up (okay, with Amber’s anger issues, she probably will, but there’s a chance she won’t.)

      And Ouroboros has a point, this is her origin story. As per comic book superhero standards, she needs to confront Sal to gain closure and grow as a human/hero.

    • John
      John
      December 26, 2013 at 7:13 pm | #

      Sal was sent away to a Catholic boarding school in Tennessee for several years. If she ever actually did time in juvie or whatnot, we haven’t heard about it. Amber may reasonably believe that’s not adequate punishment for her crimes.

  24. Kladeos
    Kladeos
    December 26, 2013 at 12:16 am | #

    Let this one go, Amber…

  25. JThePerson
    JThePerson
    December 26, 2013 at 12:18 am | #

    Are.. we time travelers?..

  26. Gold
    Gold
    December 26, 2013 at 12:19 am | #

    What a cop-out.

    • Red Robot
      Red Robot
      December 26, 2013 at 2:11 am | #

      but this is a big relief. Amber lost control and Amazi-girl was seconds away from really ruining her life. Now there is hope. Maybe she will actually seek help now. (A man can dream…)

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      December 26, 2013 at 2:27 am | #

      It’s only a cop-out when the cops show up and create an anti-climax.

      • IncadescentFlame
        IncadescentFlame
        December 26, 2013 at 2:37 pm | #

        “Hold it, hold it! Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Inspector Thompson’s Gazelle of the Program Planning Police, Special Flying Squad!”
        “Flying Thompson’s Gazelle of the Yard?!”

        (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y)

  27. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 26, 2013 at 12:22 am | #

    If only Amazi-Girl added a chest-window to her costume, it would allow the air to flow around the Amazi-Rack which purges the excessive heat, thus allowing Amazi-Girl to run for longer.

    http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/5/11/2176bc6b-1af6-4206-8aa4-4fea0f6ca5d5.jpg

    • Arkantos
      Arkantos
      December 26, 2013 at 1:25 am | #

      Have you been reading Spinnerette lately?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        December 26, 2013 at 2:41 am | #

        I haven’t read Spinnerette in the last couple of months.

        • Arkantos
          Arkantos
          December 26, 2013 at 12:57 pm | #

          Okay, it’s just that kind of reminded me of Ms. Venus from that comic.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          December 31, 2013 at 3:34 pm | #

          That’s about their update schedule lately.

  28. Aakriti
    Aakriti
    December 26, 2013 at 12:25 am | #

    Amber is coping surprisingly well, under the circumstances.

  29. Fuzzydaemon
    Fuzzydaemon
    December 26, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

    She was going to beat the shit out of Sal, who has already done time? Not good.

    It is hilarious seeing her have the same reaction to Sal’s wheels as Joyce.

    • Aakriti
      Aakriti
      December 26, 2013 at 12:32 am | #

      I don’t think she would have actually done it(beat Sal up). I think in that moment she would have seen Sal in herself and actually walked away.

  30. Raibean
    Raibean
    December 26, 2013 at 12:29 am | #

    It’s official they’re all queer
    I’m just here to join the party

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 26, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

      Everyone’s gay.
      Even Joe.
      He’s just gay for boobies.

      • James
        James
        December 26, 2013 at 2:03 am | #

        Ron White said it best.

        Every one a little a gay…..

        • sps48
          sps48
          December 26, 2013 at 2:49 pm | #

          Ron White is wrong.
          Viewers are imagining the tools as their own, so bigger = better.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            December 26, 2013 at 10:27 pm | #

            However you look at it, you’re still looking at another man’s dick.

  31. Cthulhu's Intern
    Cthulhu's Intern
    December 26, 2013 at 12:37 am | #

    So is Danny going to see her now?
    “Wow, Amazi-Girl! You switched fast! I was looking for my friend but I can’t find her. Can I have my 3DS. Also, your skin tone. How do you… you know?”

    • James
      James
      December 26, 2013 at 2:06 am | #

      Dan: Ohhhh I get now.

      you do white face to hide your secret identity . Well, if RDJ can get nominated for doing black face I guess it’s okay….

    • xKiv
      xKiv
      December 26, 2013 at 7:48 am | #

      How far behind is he, anyway?

  32. C.W. Roden
    C.W. Roden
    December 26, 2013 at 12:41 am | #

    She also needs a dorky sidekick who can wear bright colors and draw all the fire…er, attention.
    Whatda say Danny-boy?

  33. nothri
    nothri
    December 26, 2013 at 12:44 am | #

    “Get her from behind”

    ….nope. Not gonna comment. Too easy.

    Much like your mother.

    • Calvin Coolage
      Calvin Coolage
      December 26, 2013 at 1:00 am | #

      Only if she’s payed a nickel.

  34. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    December 26, 2013 at 12:49 am | #

    So she really was going to just flip out and attack Sal? I am disappointed in her.

    Say, whatever happened to Dorothy using the information she had on Amazi-Girl to track down her real identity?

    • John
      John
      December 26, 2013 at 9:17 am | #

      Dorothy is too busy with obsessive-compulsive studying to stalk her ex’s new girlfriend.

    • Deathjavu
      Deathjavu
      December 26, 2013 at 11:31 am | #

      It’s my firm belief that eventually Dorothy’s going to free up enough time to expose Amazi-Girl. Dorothy is far too competent and persistent to do otherwise.

      But it really hasn’t been that long since Dorothy got the story, in-universe.

      I wouldn’t be surprised if the dude that took a photo of Amazi-Girl yesterday re-opens that storyline.

  35. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    December 26, 2013 at 1:06 am | #

    First: we have humor here? Good, hope is not dead for Amber?

    Second: Amber wants to beat the crap out of Sal, NOT for a crime she committed and did time for….but because Sal scared the shit out of her.

    Third: If you had had all the crap dumped on you that Amber has dug out from under, this past while: just how sharp would your planning be? Think you might be a bit impulsive maybe?

    She is hurting beyond belief: she sees someone who caused her a lot of mental pain in that hold-up AND is causing now right this minute causing her a lot of mental pain today-she’s smiling at Danny. {if it were me, I’d go beat the shit out of Danny…but unfortunately Amber is the type to blame the female not the idiot boyfriend.}

    I have a feeling that Willis just switched off the ‘aww poor Amber feels’ and has just defused that situation by making an idiot out of her. Oh well.

    • Arkantos
      Arkantos
      December 26, 2013 at 1:23 am | #

      I think you forgot to mix in the fact that she has Blaine blood. That’s another factor.

      • Red Robot
        Red Robot
        December 26, 2013 at 2:01 am | #

        Amber wants to run away from Sal. It is Amazi-girl that wants to beat the crap out of her. Completely different person. Also, suspect that she was having a full-on PTSD flashback, so her wanting to attack her was not about revenge, or about Danny, but about “going back in time” and protecting Amber and Ethan during the hostage situation.
        Now, my specific pop-psychology theories are likely to be very wrong, but the point remains: This is not about Amber making choices of any kind, rational or idiotic or callous…it is about her issues taking control away from her.

        • Jack Finch
          Jack Finch
          December 26, 2013 at 9:42 am | #

          I wonder if in Amber’s imagination Sal is still a fugitive at large from the crime she witnessed. Maybe apprehending and bringing her to justice is the objective in her mind, rather than a beatdown.

          • Red Robot
            Red Robot
            December 26, 2013 at 2:58 pm | #

            I suspect so. Amber was not acting like a jealous girl, but like one who is scared for her life. I hope that now that Sal has run away Amber and Amazi-girl will have time to reassess the situation and conclude that there is not a clear and present danger at all… People today do not seem to give enough credit to Amber and Amazi-girl. They may be more than a bit misguided, but they have shown a strong sense of ethics as far as vigilantism goes.

  36. Maki P
    Maki P
    December 26, 2013 at 1:12 am | #

    Wow, I thought she would either run away or fight Sal, turns out I was right about both

  37. Steven
    Steven
    December 26, 2013 at 1:15 am | #

    Is this a comic?

    • IncadescentFlame
      IncadescentFlame
      December 26, 2013 at 2:40 pm | #

      Is this a commment?

      • Red Robot
        Red Robot
        December 26, 2013 at 2:59 pm | #

        Is this a question

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          December 26, 2013 at 3:05 pm | #

          Is this the real life?

          • Knightsky
            Knightsky
            December 26, 2013 at 5:25 pm | #

            Is this just fantasy?

            • The Sandman
              The Sandman
              December 26, 2013 at 11:03 pm | #

              Caught in a landslide

  38. Axel
    Axel
    December 26, 2013 at 1:31 am | #

    Amber, what… what was the plan here, really? What was going to happen once you attacked another student in broad daylight without provocation?

    • C.
      C.
      December 26, 2013 at 3:48 am | #

      No one even knows about Sal’s criminal history because the records were sealed.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      December 26, 2013 at 4:54 am | #

      “She jaywalked! You all saw it!” *fires claw-grapple at nearby building and zips away.*

  39. Frelance
    Frelance
    December 26, 2013 at 1:32 am | #

    if this whole comic is secretly just the origin story of the Vespavenger I give up

    • Marisa Mockery
      Marisa Mockery
      December 26, 2013 at 1:38 am | #

      ^ best comment yet

  40. Jesse
    Jesse
    December 26, 2013 at 1:49 am | #

    Amber, honey, I don’t think it works when the crime was five years ago.

  41. Kevin
    Kevin
    December 26, 2013 at 3:14 am | #

    Amber is using her alter ego for revenge – this is not the way of Amazigirl

  42. NoHeart
    NoHeart
    December 26, 2013 at 3:43 am | #

    That look of defeat in the last panel….

  43. Synnerman
    Synnerman
    December 26, 2013 at 3:46 am | #

    The funny is back!

  44. Bilfred
    Bilfred
    December 26, 2013 at 3:53 am | #

    at first i thought the title was “incest”

    Needless to say. I went into this comic with the wrong mindset.

  45. Alex Stritar
    Alex Stritar
    December 26, 2013 at 4:26 am | #

    Was that a Flashpoint reference in the hovertext?

    • Mayonnaise
      Mayonnaise
      December 26, 2013 at 4:55 am | #

      Probably just Flash

      • Alex Stritar
        Alex Stritar
        December 26, 2013 at 10:38 pm | #

        Can I help that that part of the story really stuck with me.

        (That and the fact that I rented the movie version and Equestria Girls at the same time, watch them together and realized that they were the exact same movie XD)

  46. Gargamel
    Gargamel
    December 26, 2013 at 4:30 am | #

    Psh, that wouldn’t have stopped Batman or Owlman.

    • Bilfred
      Bilfred
      December 26, 2013 at 4:33 am | #

      Or aquaman, the mightiest superhero.

      • Gargamel
        Gargamel
        December 27, 2013 at 6:43 am | #

        To be fair this situation would probably stump Aquaman given there are no fish in the immediate area.

  47. A5PECT
    A5PECT
    December 26, 2013 at 6:12 am | #

    Okay, so being in a state of heightened emotional stress while seeing Sal wih Danny is causing her to relive what I’m guessing was her first act of vigilantism.

    Amber is basically having her own version of a Vietnam flashback.

  48. Nicholas
    Nicholas
    December 26, 2013 at 6:21 am | #

    Freak lab accident? Getting abducted by purple little aliens and get Martian DNA is a much more effective way to acquire superspeed.

    • Bearfuz
      Bearfuz
      December 26, 2013 at 9:57 am | #

      This.

  49. FAZ
    FAZ
    December 26, 2013 at 6:42 am | #

    How come nobody is mentioning the Stool?

    She needs an amazing Stool!

    • Animal
      Animal
      December 26, 2013 at 4:58 pm | #

      Maybe she should see the Amazi-Proctologist.

  50. hof1991
    hof1991
    December 26, 2013 at 6:45 am | #

    And now she’s standing right where Sal exited, so it makes sense that Sal is AG.

    Seriously Amber and AG are both going to be facing consequences soon if they don’t stop this. DOA isn’t a superhero comic with aliens and stuff.

  51. Spack
    Spack
    December 26, 2013 at 6:58 am | #

    Well, lets’s see: Amazi-Girl is seen and photographed (yesterday) at around the same time Sal has left the building (/Elvis announcer voice). Misperception hijinks ensue for another round. Drinks are on Elvis’s tab.

  52. Jack Finch
    Jack Finch
    December 26, 2013 at 9:47 am | #

    I’m thinking a large corn popper.

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      December 26, 2013 at 10:56 am | #

      Cornpopper hovercraft.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        December 26, 2013 at 4:58 pm | #

        Cornpopper segway. Stylish!

        • Jack Finch
          Jack Finch
          December 26, 2013 at 10:19 pm | #

          They kinda resemble them don’t they?

        • hmrc4evr
          hmrc4evr
          December 26, 2013 at 11:53 pm | #

          A transforming segway! Goes from segway to corn popper and back!!

  53. Mr K
    Mr K
    December 26, 2013 at 10:58 am | #

    Here’s what’ll happen:
    Sal beats up Amazi-Girl and unmasks her.
    Blaine finds her and taunts her for being more violent than him.
    Everybody in the school finds out.
    She loses her friends.
    She is sent to jail for attempted assualt, and her roommate is Malaya.
    The only member of her Family to visit her is Faz.

    • I don't know what to put here.
      I don't know what to put here.
      December 27, 2013 at 2:03 am | #

      So far, so plausible…

  54. CookieCrumbler
    CookieCrumbler
    December 26, 2013 at 11:04 am | #

    Swerve on that weak shit

    Invest in a HOVERCRAFT

  55. Mr K
    Mr K
    December 26, 2013 at 11:20 am | #

    Billie: Sal, that bongo’s been stealing your costume!

  56. Phillip Wilde
    Phillip Wilde
    December 26, 2013 at 11:34 am | #

    Is Sal riding her motorcycle on the sidewalk?

  57. Plume
    Plume
    December 26, 2013 at 11:36 am | #

    Despite the usefulness I think that Amber will find without an amazi-cave (or at least a shed) hiding a fully functional motorcycle will be slightly harder than hiding a yellow jumpsuit.

    • IncadescentFlame
      IncadescentFlame
      December 26, 2013 at 2:43 pm | #

      One does not simply HIDE the Amazi-Cycle!

  58. Bill
    Bill
    December 26, 2013 at 12:07 pm | #

    Motorcycles are so passé, unless she gets one like the lightcycle from the original Tron.

  59. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    December 26, 2013 at 12:49 pm | #

    https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/406536_2744437447484_1599362352_n.jpg
    My concept for the Amazi-Mobile, from 2012.

    • Stephen Bierce
      Stephen Bierce
      December 26, 2013 at 12:50 pm | #

      It’s basically a full-sized Mario Kart.

      • Stephen Bierce
        Stephen Bierce
        December 26, 2013 at 4:07 pm | #

        http://24.media.tumblr.com/388855f82bf8525ddef31f81648069ba/tumblr_mw5zv38x481romh4yo1_500.png

    • Bill
      Bill
      December 26, 2013 at 1:00 pm | #

      That will work…..

  60. Kugai
    Kugai
    December 26, 2013 at 4:03 pm | #

    Or at least a pair of Rollerskates

  61. mrmudkip
    mrmudkip
    December 26, 2013 at 4:32 pm | #

    Why is she even chasing sal? She hasn’t done anything wrong recently.

  62. Drillgorg
    Drillgorg
    December 26, 2013 at 5:13 pm | #

    Amazi-penny-farthing.

  63. danshive
    danshive
    December 26, 2013 at 5:15 pm | #

    “I will citizen arrest her for the crime of having once committed a crime that she has already been punished for!” The perfect plan.

  64. man in black
    man in black
    December 26, 2013 at 9:56 pm | #

    At least she thought of a good name for her bike

  65. Czigot
    Czigot
    December 26, 2013 at 11:49 pm | #

    Rip-off! I call rip-off! I was promised some Amber vs Sal. Where’s my AvS?

  66. Darkflame
    Darkflame
    December 27, 2013 at 8:15 am | #

    Chucking chemicals all over myself and getting struck by lightening was one of the worst ideas comics have ever given me.
    Top 5 anyway.

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