Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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dumbing of age is a crazy universe where amber can do that but walky can't
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June 24, 2026

Cornered

by David M Willis on January 11, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - The Only Dope For Me Is You
└ Tags: amazi-girl, dorothy, walky

Discussion (251) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    January 11, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    She played a lot of Mirror’s Edge, Dotty

    • Skull025
      Skull025
      January 11, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

      Too bad she’ll never beat this campus’ time trial. Friggin bridge jump.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      January 11, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      I have faith in Amazi-Girl’s skill.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        January 11, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        I believe in Amazi-Girl.

        • NoneOfYourConcern
          NoneOfYourConcern
          January 11, 2014 at 1:41 am | #

          I don’t think you understood the joke.

          • Guest Person Dude
            Guest Person Dude
            January 11, 2014 at 3:18 am | #

            I think you underestimate Amazi-girl’s ability to manage the bridge jump.

            • Arkadi
              Arkadi
              January 11, 2014 at 5:56 am | #

              Appropriate avatar is appropriate.

    • GoldStarz
      GoldStarz
      January 11, 2014 at 1:47 am | #

      She’s practicing for the sequel.

      • Ivan
        Ivan
        January 12, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

        I hope the sequel is at Charter. If she doesn’t go to Charter… please, someone make her get help somewhere.

        • ruinah
          ruinah
          January 12, 2014 at 11:27 pm | #

          Oh wow, I remember those Charter ads. I thought that was only here in Atlanta…

  2. Tunaro
    Tunaro
    January 11, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Holy Shit Amber!

    • Psycho
      Psycho
      January 11, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      Amber can PARKOUR!

      • Pan
        Pan
        January 11, 2014 at 1:30 am | #

        Well sure Amber can, but what does that have to do with Amazi-Girl?

        • BassBone
          BassBone
          January 11, 2014 at 1:44 am | #

          That’s not funny anymore.

          • David Willis
            David M Willis
            January 11, 2014 at 2:00 am | #

            Tell that to the thirteen other people who made that joke on this page!

            • Mr K
              Mr K
              January 11, 2014 at 2:08 am | #

              Yeah, why can’t people understand that Faz is Amazi-Girl?

              • Sageress
                Sageress
                January 11, 2014 at 12:45 pm | #

                See BassBone’s comment.

            • Pan
              Pan
              January 16, 2014 at 1:09 am | #

              Confirmed funny by Willis!

  3. Geminia999
    Geminia999
    January 11, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    And Amber then breaks her back, such a sad ending 🙁

    • Hythrain
      Hythrain
      January 11, 2014 at 1:42 am | #

      I’m more expecting her fingers or wrists to break.

      • Fred
        Fred
        January 11, 2014 at 11:27 am | #

        I’m expecting the Amazi-boobs to start being affected by gravity, and smack her in the face.

        • The Sandman
          The Sandman
          January 11, 2014 at 11:32 am | #

          The Amazi-bra is likely modified to prevent that.

        • David Willis
          David M Willis
          January 11, 2014 at 11:37 am | #

          carlos danger is that you

          • lightsabermario
            lightsabermario
            January 13, 2014 at 4:51 am | #

            Danger’s my middle name, not my last name!

        • GoogerGeiger
          GoogerGeiger
          January 11, 2014 at 12:37 pm | #

          Her amazi-tits defy gravity.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            January 11, 2014 at 5:01 pm | #

            Which qualifies them as an example of Most Common (Female) Superpower which is large gravity-defying chest puppies.

            • HMRC4EVR
              HMRC4EVR
              January 11, 2014 at 9:11 pm | #

              Power Girl would be happy then?

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      January 11, 2014 at 2:10 am | #

      Amber will die, and then Danny will try to become a superhero in her memory. Ultra-Dude?

      • michaelw777
        michaelw777
        January 11, 2014 at 6:16 am | #

        Heh. More like Cluelessman.

      • hmrc4evr
        hmrc4evr
        January 11, 2014 at 7:09 am | #

        I think you want the next universe over.

      • cmd1095
        cmd1095
        January 11, 2014 at 10:28 am | #

        his super power, the ability to completely screw things up and not notice when crimes are happening even if they’re blatantly obvious

        • DSL
          DSL
          January 11, 2014 at 12:29 pm | #

          His superpower will be that he actually tries to be a supervillain, because I’ll show ’em, but constantly thwarts his fellow supervillains’ schemes by danning them up.

  4. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    January 11, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    She should be pretty easy to follow this time.

  5. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    January 11, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Parkour! I didn’t know she could do that.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      January 11, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      No heroine worth her salt could call herself one without the parkour skill set.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        January 11, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

        She totally leveled up her parkour skillset in customization.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          January 11, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

          She maxed out her Agility stats.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            January 11, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

            She should have put some points towards her WIS stat.

            • Aizat
              Aizat
              January 11, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

              But Amazi-Girl’s more or less a Rogue, right?

              • Sageress
                Sageress
                January 11, 2014 at 12:47 am | #

                Rogues need smarts too

                • Questionor
                  Questionor
                  January 11, 2014 at 3:06 am | #

                  yes but that’s int not wis. int is great for rogues cause of the extra skill points. but can’t think of wis being useful for a rogue for much much other than will saves. it’s definitely a decent dump stat choice.

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  January 11, 2014 at 5:05 pm | #

                  A real-life high WIS allows people to make better choices in life.

            • Bill
              Bill
              January 11, 2014 at 2:23 am | #

              What is a WIS stat?

              • David Willis
                David M Willis
                January 11, 2014 at 2:35 am | #

                I assume that’s short for “wisdom.”

                • JustcallmeSoul
                  JustcallmeSoul
                  January 11, 2014 at 3:48 am | #

                  you would be assuming correctly, willis.

                • Throng
                  Throng
                  January 11, 2014 at 4:52 am | #

                  or it measures your knowledge of Wisconsin.

                • Mr. Random
                  Mr. Random
                  January 11, 2014 at 5:53 am | #

                  Oh, then i must have used that as a dump stat.
                  All i know is that the state has cheese. Lots and lots of cheese.

              • Plasma Mongoose
                Plasma Mongoose
                January 11, 2014 at 5:07 pm | #

                WIS = Wisdom
                STR = Strength
                CON = Constitution(Health)
                INT = Intelligence
                CHA = Charisma
                DEX = Dexterity

                • HMRC4EVR
                  HMRC4EVR
                  January 11, 2014 at 9:12 pm | #

                  If that’s supposed to spell ‘Shazam” Plasma, it’s not quite there yet.

                • pumpkincat
                  pumpkincat
                  January 11, 2014 at 11:29 pm | #

                  Becoming a rogue can arguably be said to imply poor life choices in the first place.

  6. rhelmot
    rhelmot
    January 11, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Having just binge-read It’s Walky! again, I can proudly say that the I thought of the title text before I read it :3

  7. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    January 11, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    She would make a better cheerleader now than Billie can ever hope to be.

    • newllend
      newllend
      January 11, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Hope nobody tells Billie that it would brake her

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        January 11, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

        Did you mean break?

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          January 11, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

          Nope, it would bring Billie to a complete stop.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            January 11, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

            When you put it that way, it makes more sense.

            • Yotomoe
              Yotomoe
              January 11, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

              But would it send her in reverse?

              • Mr. Random
                Mr. Random
                January 11, 2014 at 5:55 am | #

                Only if she sticks the landing.

        • newllend
          newllend
          January 11, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

          This phone is just useless as shit…it will correct me on every else but when really need it to help it fucks me ,know what ….fuck it ,fuck it,FUCK IT IM DONE!!!

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            January 11, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

            Makes me glad that I have a PC.

            • Just Cheeto Dust
              Just Cheeto Dust
              January 11, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

              I spell check whenever I use my phone.

          • Mr. Random
            Mr. Random
            January 11, 2014 at 5:56 am | #

            I use an ipad. It can be just as bad.
            SO I TURNED IT OFF!

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              January 11, 2014 at 5:08 pm | #

              It would be better if it had some kind of optional auto-complete as you typed instead.

              • Mr. Random
                Mr. Random
                January 11, 2014 at 7:14 pm | #

                That’s what I turned off.
                Trust me, it’s only right every tenth time. It gets very annoying, especially if you use the same letter, and it auto-completes the word.

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  January 11, 2014 at 8:48 pm | #

                  By optional auto-complete I mean like what Google has where it shows you a list of possible words you want and if you want to, you can just highligh the word to auto-complete it.

  8. Catriona
    Catriona
    January 11, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Oh god, if she breaks a wrist (or both) I will burst into tears. Amber needs a cuddle, not more crap.

    • GoogerGeiger
      GoogerGeiger
      January 11, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      That’s not Amber. That’s AMAZI-GIRL.

      • Just Cheeto Dust
        Just Cheeto Dust
        January 11, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        Tell that to the alt-text.

        • Alex Stritar
          Alex Stritar
          January 11, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

          Amazi-Girl is immune to alt-text

        • LiaHansen
          LiaHansen
          January 11, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

          Nah, that just says that Amber can do that. To assume just from that that she’s Amazi-girl is utterly ridiculous.

          • Just Cheeto Dust
            Just Cheeto Dust
            January 11, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

            You couldn’t just leave it at “ridiculous?” You had to bring adverbs into this?

            • Chest Manly
              Chest Manly
              January 11, 2014 at 4:06 am | #

              Adverbs are utterly necessary.

              • DSL
                DSL
                January 11, 2014 at 12:31 pm | #

                very very necessary lolly lolly lolly get your adverbs here

          • cmd1095
            cmd1095
            January 11, 2014 at 10:31 am | #

            maybe the suit gives her superpowers, wouldn’t be the first object/costume to give the wearer abilities

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              January 11, 2014 at 5:11 pm | #

              Like in The Greatest American Hero?

              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yb4C7vSByMM

              • HMRC4EVR
                HMRC4EVR
                January 11, 2014 at 9:17 pm | #

                God I loved that show. Part of me would love to see a remake done seriously, but so scared it’d be worse than a Sci-Fi original movie.

              • sps48
                sps48
                January 12, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

                Or Empowered?

      • Catriona
        Catriona
        January 11, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        But hugging Amazi-Girl might result in more broken wrists.

        • Psycho
          Psycho
          January 11, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

          You can only break 2 wrists until you run out of wrists, so it’s all good.

          • Sageress
            Sageress
            January 11, 2014 at 12:54 am | #

            Not if you borrow some

          • Pat
            Pat
            January 11, 2014 at 1:11 am | #

            She can break two of her own wrists, and then two of yours, and then…

          • Mr. Random
            Mr. Random
            January 11, 2014 at 5:58 am | #

            You might be able to only break two. But that doesn’t mean the rest of the world is.

          • nothri
            nothri
            January 16, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

            That’s just the wrist you have to take in this line of work.

        • Blue Dragon
          Blue Dragon
          January 11, 2014 at 6:49 am | #

          Amazi-Girl hugs could be udderly necessary.

          • Christina
            Christina
            January 11, 2014 at 12:06 pm | #

            I’m not sure if that was a typo or a boob joke. One never can tell in the DoA comments.

    • Sageress
      Sageress
      January 11, 2014 at 12:55 am | #

      But on the bright side, if she broke something it’d probably be enough to finally put an end to all this nonsense and maybe get her some professional help for her anger issues and some therapy for her abusive childhood, instead of using shitty outlets like Amazi-Girl.

      So while I’m not outright hoping she’ll break her hands, I can see the possible benefits.

      • Sam
        Sam
        January 11, 2014 at 3:33 am | #

        Or it could add to the pile of bad things which is currently rising rapidly and seems likely to start driving her insane by the end of the day.

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          January 11, 2014 at 12:09 pm | #

          There’s only so much shit you can throw onto a pile before it collapses. Maybe what Amber needs is something to drive her over the edge and bring her issues out into the light where she can acknowledge them and say, “I need someone to help me with this.”

          • Sageress
            Sageress
            January 11, 2014 at 12:38 pm | #

            That’s what I’m sayin’

  9. Darth Cariss
    Darth Cariss
    January 11, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    This doesn’t seem like something you’d just do on the fly without having practiced it a bunch first, but then judging by the sounds she’s making it’s pretty difficult/painful for her to do. Hmm.

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      January 11, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      Can’t be both? Just because she’s practiced doesn’t mean it’s suddenly the easiest thing in the world.

      • Sageress
        Sageress
        January 11, 2014 at 12:56 am | #

        Yeah but that backflip do

  10. Safgaftsa
    Safgaftsa
    January 11, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiBBHihXbQ4

    I can’t be the only one with this in my head at the last panel.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      January 11, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      I was thinking more of this song:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85xMRa5UqgQ

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        January 11, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        I was thinking along the lines of this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v08Qfrj07jA

        • LiaHansen
          LiaHansen
          January 11, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

          Nonononononono, there is but one proper foot-chase theme song, and it goes thusly:
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p13yZAjhU0M

          • garblegarble
            garblegarble
            January 11, 2014 at 7:54 am | #

            you are all incorrect.
            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg
            and also welcome. 🙂

    • Tagg
      Tagg
      January 11, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

      I was thinking more this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EaRHlo4B0Y

      • Macbone
        Macbone
        January 11, 2014 at 2:59 am | #

        No, no, I think you guys mean this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2Fyb7loyyQ

  11. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    January 11, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Okay, maybe she IS Batman after all…

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      January 11, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      Just without the dead parents thing.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        January 11, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        “I WISH MY PARENTS WERE DEAAAAAAAD!”

        • AJBulldis
          AJBulldis
          January 11, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

          “OR, JUST ONE OF THEM REAAAAAALLY!”

    • DSL
      DSL
      January 11, 2014 at 12:33 pm | #

      WALKY: “What makes you so different from us?”
      AMAZI-GIRL (in reverse text): “I’m not wearing pajama jeans.”

      • pumpkincat
        pumpkincat
        January 11, 2014 at 11:31 pm | #

        I applaud you for this.

  12. GoogerGeiger
    GoogerGeiger
    January 11, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Wait, Walky could do that in other universes?

    • Sporky
      Sporky
      January 11, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      That and much more! In the Walkyverse, he’s pretty much superhuman, along with Joyce, Joe, Dina and others.

      • Sporky
        Sporky
        January 11, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

        Well, okay, Joe and Dina couldn’t really do any of the cool acrobatics, but they had super-smarts.

        • John
          John
          January 11, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

          I always figured they probably could, they were just too smart to get into situations where they needed to.

    • John
      John
      January 11, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Yeah. So could Joyce. The impressive part is that Amber can do it without alien-enhanced super-strength/speed/agility.

      • Wack'd
        Wack'd
        January 11, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

        Dorothy could too, by the end.

      • starkruzr
        starkruzr
        January 11, 2014 at 12:57 pm | #

        Or so you believe.

    • 4th Dimension
      4th Dimension
      January 11, 2014 at 9:09 am | #

      Yup. They could as other stated because of their superpowers.
      Here let Walky and Joice demonstrate it with “dancing”:
      http://www.itswalky.com/d/20021023.html

  13. Steven
    Steven
    January 11, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    “SHE STOLE MY CUTTER!” says the guy who was using them to steal a bike.

    • Jon P
      Jon P
      January 11, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      Yeah, that’s a pretty audacious thing to shout out, as you stand by the bike rack. I’m sure everyone will be eager to help you out, unnamed thief.

      • Ancestral Hamster
        Ancestral Hamster
        January 11, 2014 at 5:04 am | #

        It’s like the man who murdered his own parents for the inheritance, then asked for lienency on the grounds he was an orphan.

    • DSL
      DSL
      January 11, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      That’s yer basic ironical-type joke there.

      • Bill
        Bill
        January 11, 2014 at 11:10 am | #

        It’s not the first time, either.  When she stopped the two guys from tagging the sign by climbing up on one of them and removing it, they accused her of vandalism — her response was “It’s also theft.  So call a cop”.

      • DSL
        DSL
        January 11, 2014 at 1:15 pm | #

        I realize irony doesn’t always translate well to print (seriously, dig up Jonathan Swift and ask him) but I continue to be amazed how a medium that seemingly prides itself on irony and snark (the average online comment section) utterly fails to “get” irony when it’s presented. Then again, I think the same thing of MAD Magazine, even in its heyday.

  14. TSB
    TSB
    January 11, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Danny is enjoying his superhero fantasy with Amazi-Girl, but Dorothy has the Catwoman/Black Cat rivalry thing going on and she’s the Lois Lane reporter type. Clearly she is much more suited to Amber.

    • Psycho
      Psycho
      January 11, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

      LET THERE BE LESBIANS.

    • Sageress
      Sageress
      January 11, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

      A single bottle of either blonde or brown hair dye and there’d be two identical super lesbians running amok.

      • AJBulldis
        AJBulldis
        January 11, 2014 at 1:17 am | #

        I dunno, every time Dorothy and Amber end up on the same page it seems like Dorothy gets a little thinner.

        • The Sandman
          The Sandman
          January 11, 2014 at 11:36 am | #

          Given the vast difference in the amount of physical activity each of them gets, you’d think that would go the other way.

      • pumpkincat
        pumpkincat
        January 11, 2014 at 11:32 pm | #

        I would want to see this just to see Danny’s brain explode.

  15. newllend
    newllend
    January 11, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Dorothy doesn’t look like the hardcore free running type, this wont last long

    • Sam
      Sam
      January 11, 2014 at 3:39 am | #

      She was the star of her cross country team in high school. Stated in a page actually called ‘cross country’.

      • Twirls
        Twirls
        January 11, 2014 at 8:42 am | #

        I thought she was track, Amber was cross country?

        • xKiv
          xKiv
          January 11, 2014 at 10:31 am | #

          See Cross country, assuming I got the link right.

        • Sam
          Sam
          January 13, 2014 at 2:20 am | #

          Opposite way round. Dorothy was cross country, Amber was track and field.

  16. Person
    Person
    January 11, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    That can’t be good for her wrist.

  17. Aizat
    Aizat
    January 11, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    Seriously Dotty? You think you can corner a hero?

    • Casey
      Casey
      January 11, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      she’s obviously never read a comic book. The hero always finds a way to get away, secret identity intact

      • Nono
        Nono
        January 11, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

        She does read comic books. Except Dexter and Monkey Master doesn’t exactly have a hero.

        • John
          John
          January 11, 2014 at 12:45 am | #

          No one will ever realize that Dexter is actually the Head Alien!

          • The Sandman
            The Sandman
            January 11, 2014 at 11:37 am | #

            Nope. Head Alien is Sinister. Just look at the name, the only way he could more obviously be a bad guy is if they called him “vizier”.

            • John
              John
              January 11, 2014 at 10:58 pm | #

              He was Sinister at first, but then he got mirror-flipped, because of the Reasons, so we started calling him “Dexter”.

    • Marc
      Marc
      January 11, 2014 at 7:03 am | #

      It’s just Dot. Call her Dotty and you die.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        January 11, 2014 at 7:19 am | #

        Tell that to Roger Smith.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        January 11, 2014 at 5:18 pm | #

        I been calling her Dotty since I started commenting in DoA back in 2011.

    • Just Cheeto Dust
      Just Cheeto Dust
      January 11, 2014 at 10:34 am | #

      Considering they couldn’t lead her to an area where two walls meet, no.

  18. Casey
    Casey
    January 11, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    well colour me impressed. Dang, Amber.

  19. Alex Stritar
    Alex Stritar
    January 11, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Amazi-girl is amazing.

  20. Madness2.4
    Madness2.4
    January 11, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Amazi-Girl is immune to criticism.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      January 11, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      And is very acrobatic.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        January 11, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

        She rolled high on her Acrobatics check.

  21. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    January 11, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Clearly Amber has learned from Ling Xiaoyu.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      January 11, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      Or Ryu Hayabusa.

      • Calvin Coolage
        Calvin Coolage
        January 11, 2014 at 2:59 am | #

        Possibly Master Asia, the Undefeated of the East. Although, Amber hasnt cut giant robots in half with a scarf or whatever. YET.

        • hmrc4evr
          hmrc4evr
          January 11, 2014 at 7:16 am | #

          The sad thing is we’ll probably see Figuarts Amazi-Girl for sale before we get Master Asia or Rain.

          But dear Primus I would buy the hell out of Figuarts Amazi-Girl.

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            January 11, 2014 at 7:20 am | #

            Heck, I’d import it if they made both of them.

            • HMRC4EVR
              HMRC4EVR
              January 11, 2014 at 9:41 am | #

              We got Domon, but that was as far as Bandai went with G Gundam so far.

              • Calvin Coolage
                Calvin Coolage
                January 11, 2014 at 3:11 pm | #

                What is Figuart? Do they models or actual action figures of Characters? I only just started watching G Gundam again.

                • HMRC4EVR
                  HMRC4EVR
                  January 11, 2014 at 9:22 pm | #

                  S.H. Figuarts is a line by Bandai of hyper detailed, high articulation action figures of Sentai (Japanese Power Rangers), Kamen Riders (imagine one member of a Power Rangers team, but with multiple powers and usually a motorbike) and other properties. They are currently releasing the Sailor Scouts and have sold Moon and Mercury. Mars is next. Use figuarts on an ebay search and you’ll see examples.

          • The Sandman
            The Sandman
            January 11, 2014 at 11:42 am | #

            Now I’m trying to imagine Amber and Danny doing the Sekiha Love Love Tenkyoken. It… it just doesn’t work.

            Admittedly, neither does the Amber/Mike Sekiha Love Love Tenkyoken, but at least that mental image is amusing.

            • HMRC4EVR
              HMRC4EVR
              January 11, 2014 at 9:25 pm | #

              yea, those pairs are a little bit of a stretch.

              Sei and China from Gundam Build Fighters works well I think. And I’m sure the yaoi fans are shipping Sei and Reiji in the same instance as well.

        • Calvin Coolage
          Calvin Coolage
          January 11, 2014 at 1:35 pm | #

          Hey, I started a reply chain. Sweet.

  22. Cholma
    Cholma
    January 11, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Amazi-Girl trained to be the best at everything. Yes, even DDR and Mario games.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      January 11, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      But is she good in Dark Souls?

      • Sageress
        Sageress
        January 11, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

        This may be a comic, but it’s not unrealistic

      • rachel
        rachel
        January 11, 2014 at 12:59 am | #

        nobody is good at dark souls.

      • Rutee
        Rutee
        January 11, 2014 at 2:38 am | #

        Lots of people are, they’re the jerks who are lag stabbing you.

      • ender1200
        ender1200
        January 11, 2014 at 4:29 am | #

        She sucks less in Dark Souls than anyone els in the world!

    • Ancestral Hamster
      Ancestral Hamster
      January 11, 2014 at 5:05 am | #

      Yes, but can she breathe in space?

  23. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    January 11, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    gosh this sure would be a handy time to have some, oh, i dunno, alien-implanted superpowers or something

  24. 3oranges
    3oranges
    January 11, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

    No, Walky! Hold on to the shoe!

    • Casey
      Casey
      January 11, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

      Without the shoe, he won’t be able to suss out her identity, Cinderella-style!

      • TSB
        TSB
        January 11, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

        Throw it at the back of Ruth’s head and then wait to see who turns up without femurs!

  25. LiaHansen
    LiaHansen
    January 11, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

    HO DAMMMMMN.

  26. Aizat
    Aizat
    January 11, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

    Should’ve invested in some smoke bombs.

  27. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    January 11, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

    Oh God she’s gonna hurt herself @x@

  28. andiemus
    andiemus
    January 11, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

    Ok, maybe it’s just the perspective, but she looks to have jumped about 15 feet back off the wall and about 10 feet up it. Sorry, Dotty, but I don’t think you’ll catch spiderman.

  29. Ciritus
    Ciritus
    January 11, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

    I never going to understood that obssesion about finding about harrasing the superhero to give interviews or his/hee secret identidy; like kids, maybe Amazing Girl has her reasons to remain mysterious for a reason?

    • LiaHansen
      LiaHansen
      January 11, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

      Right? Don’t they realize how wrecked she would be if everybody found out? Even if it wasn’t Amber, it’s not really cool to be going and poking around in people’s private lives. Especially if they’re awesome crime fighters who are making the world a better place one fantastic at a time.

      • Sageress
        Sageress
        January 11, 2014 at 1:00 am | #

        Vigilantism is still illegal last time I checked. Just saying.

        • Egraind
          Egraind
          January 11, 2014 at 8:29 am | #

          So? Cops do illegal things all the time, and they help far fewer people than we’ve seen Amazi-girl help.

          • edgecrus3r
            edgecrus3r
            January 11, 2014 at 11:10 am | #

            Right on. Legality has nothing at all to do with anything.

          • andiemus
            andiemus
            January 11, 2014 at 11:44 am | #

            And Cowboy justice is totally the solution.

            • Sageress
              Sageress
              January 11, 2014 at 12:40 pm | #

              I will either agree or disagree with this depending on if it’s sarcasm.

          • Sageress
            Sageress
            January 11, 2014 at 12:40 pm | #

            Considering we haven’t SEEN any cops in story, how is that applicable?

        • Bill
          Bill
          January 11, 2014 at 11:24 am | #

          This is not vigilantism like breaking down a cell door, dragging someone outside, and lynching him/her.  Except for her first appearances when she rescued Danny from the upperclassmen — and that could be considered legitimate use of force in defense of someone else — I don’t think she has actually laid a glove on anybody in anger.

          Well, there were a couple of frames of her in the background at the off-campus house party where Joyce got roofied, but we never did get an explanation as to what was going on there.  Maybe they wanted to do some dwarf-tossing and tried to use Amazi-girl?

    • AJBulldis
      AJBulldis
      January 11, 2014 at 1:15 am | #

      That’s the thing about journalists, you gotta tell the story

      • Joebo
        Joebo
        January 11, 2014 at 1:18 am | #

        Behold, why I never went into journalism!

    • Pat
      Pat
      January 11, 2014 at 1:20 am | #

      I don’t think Dorothy actually would try to ask her name. She’d be interested in the same stuff she’s already told Danny, probably.

  30. The Candyman
    The Candyman
    January 11, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

    That bike thief should have skedaddled when he had the chance.

  31. Salmo
    Salmo
    January 11, 2014 at 12:45 am | #

    NRAH!

  32. Joebo
    Joebo
    January 11, 2014 at 1:17 am | #

    I like the fact that Amber can do this and Walky can’t.

  33. nothri
    nothri
    January 11, 2014 at 1:28 am | #

    Altext…and yet the Dorothy from either universe could keep up with neither of them. So damn lazy.

    • David Willis
      David M Willis
      January 11, 2014 at 1:35 am | #

      yeah um

      • Alex Stritar
        Alex Stritar
        January 11, 2014 at 2:49 am | #

        … Well, hope that’s a preview of what happens tomorrow.

        • David Willis
          David M Willis
          January 11, 2014 at 2:50 am | #

          SPOILERS: Dorothy can’t lift cars in this universe.

          • Alex Stritar
            Alex Stritar
            January 11, 2014 at 3:02 am | #

            Damn you Willis, always crushing dreams.

          • Giant Speck
            Giant Speck
            January 11, 2014 at 8:13 am | #

            Well, the spoiler never says she won’t attempt to lift a car anyway. Oh, the impending tragedy! D:

      • Never Simple
        Never Simple
        January 11, 2014 at 7:43 am | #

        Ok, Im lost. WHEN did Dorothy and Walky fight.

        • David Willis
          David M Willis
          January 11, 2014 at 9:35 am | #

          http://shortpacked.bigcartel.com/product/joyce-and-walky-complete

          • LiamAldam
            LiamAldam
            January 11, 2014 at 10:02 am | #

            Get in on the jokes only $35!

            • DSL
              DSL
              January 11, 2014 at 12:38 pm | #

              ‘Cuz, you know, Willis’s bills just pay themselves, and art should be FREEEEEEEE.

            • Hoboturtle
              Hoboturtle
              January 11, 2014 at 6:27 pm | #

              Was actually pretty good. My only complaint is the huge amounts of links you have to go through to read the whole thing.

  34. Jerry
    Jerry
    January 11, 2014 at 1:32 am | #

    I’m confused. You say in the alt text that Walky can’t do that but Amber can. I’ve scanned the entire comic several times and I can’t see Amber anywhere.

    • RandomRedMage
      RandomRedMage
      January 11, 2014 at 4:39 am | #

      I do concur… I see only one amazigirl doing awesome off the wall shit. 😮

  35. Keroshino
    Keroshino
    January 11, 2014 at 1:39 am | #

    Amber: it’s a good thing I played all that Assassin’s Creed!

  36. EvergreenFir
    EvergreenFir
    January 11, 2014 at 1:54 am | #

    That does it. I want to marry Amber.

    • Mr K
      Mr K
      January 11, 2014 at 2:00 am | #

      Not Dina? Fucking pleb.

      • Heavensrun
        Heavensrun
        January 11, 2014 at 12:10 pm | #

        Dina is not doing an awesome parkour backflip off of a wall over the heads of two pursuers after after successfully de-equipping a bike thief.

        Also the amazi-condoms are still adorable.

        • Sageress
          Sageress
          January 11, 2014 at 12:42 pm | #

          She is, actually, but it’s off panel.

  37. TemplarKnight
    TemplarKnight
    January 11, 2014 at 2:38 am | #

    Yeah, I’m pretty sure Willis flipped a coin on whether she sticks the landing in the very next panel.

  38. Los
    Los
    January 11, 2014 at 2:53 am | #

    *facepalm* Danny, you idiot. If only you knew. She has her issues but she’s a good girl. AND she can move like that? Priceless. And now, in your grand ignorance even though some of the things he said should’ve at least raised a yellow flag, you’ll shortly be leading her abusive, emotionally crippled father from whom she dramatically escaped right back to her. It’s a train wreck I can’t look away from.

    • Blue Dragon
      Blue Dragon
      January 11, 2014 at 7:05 am | #

      I’m thinking this is more of a “Danny gets spotted hanging out w/ villains” day. I’m thinking the chase scene is going to lead to Danny & Daddy. Will she double back when she spots them? Will they spot her? Will she evade the intrepid reporters if she doubles back?

      Those are open questions, but Danny can’t lure Amber to her father if Amber isn’t to be found. Since she can’t switch identities, this seems more probable to me. (Not to mention I think it would be funny.)

  39. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    January 11, 2014 at 3:10 am | #

    Yes, we already know that DoA is a ‘crazy universe’ per the hovertext.

    Great flip Amazi-girl, I do hope you have a good landing. But with Willis…

    Only thing, I still think she screwed up by not grabbing Dorothy’s cell phone, instead of the cutter. But then, her pics are still ‘out there’ so would make little difference.

    Hope she remembers to throw away the sneaker than matches the one Dorothy got.

    • Gordon Blvd
      Gordon Blvd
      January 11, 2014 at 7:18 am | #

      cutter boy was commiting a crime with those cutters. Dorothy wasnt committing crime with the cellie – that’s the diff. Amazi-Girl aint no thief, yo 🙂

  40. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    January 11, 2014 at 3:40 am | #

    Dramatic backflip!

  41. Solar84
    Solar84
    January 11, 2014 at 3:48 am | #

    Dat ass in panel 2…

    • Bill
      Bill
      January 11, 2014 at 11:28 am | #

      Which one?  They both look OK to me.

  42. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    January 11, 2014 at 5:56 am | #

    That was… amazing!

  43. John
    John
    January 11, 2014 at 6:25 am | #

    Oh hell yes

  44. Marc
    Marc
    January 11, 2014 at 6:57 am | #

    Amazi-Girl! I’m such a fan of acrobatic super heroes!

  45. Kyle
    Kyle
    January 11, 2014 at 7:05 am | #

    Yeah, yeah, everyone’s real impressed with the acrobatics and everything. What I want to know is how she finds time to raid with all this derring-do! On top of that, she somehow carves out hours for Danny and whatever physical conditioning is necessary for all of this. Her schedule has to be packed.

    At least it explains why she’s wasting her time on a compsci degree instead of actually attending classes that might teach her something.

  46. Gordon Blvd
    Gordon Blvd
    January 11, 2014 at 7:16 am | #

    ……….meanwhile – I’m still ROFLMAO at the whole “she stole my cutter” whine :p

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      January 11, 2014 at 12:06 pm | #

      She stole my tool for stealing bikes! Help! Police!

  47. hmrc4evr
    hmrc4evr
    January 11, 2014 at 7:21 am | #

    Sweet I just found the hidden alt text link spot. noe.I can read the.alt.text on my android phone

    Granted this might be old news, but considering the spot is just a blank space I had no reason to click it until I did by accident while trying to enlarge the comments.

    • Random832
      Random832
      January 11, 2014 at 1:05 pm | #

      Where is it?

      • HMRC4EVR
        HMRC4EVR
        January 11, 2014 at 9:30 pm | #

        I’ve got a Samsung Charge and it’s the blank spot under the last panel. Look for the ‘latest’ button and click the empty spot beside that under the last panel.

  48. Intie
    Intie
    January 11, 2014 at 7:56 am | #

    Dorothy. She wants to go to Yale and then later become the president of the United States.
    She also goes around harassing weirdo girls dressed in superhero uniforms for an interview.

  49. Greenygal
    Greenygal
    January 11, 2014 at 10:17 am | #

    I don’t know if I’m more impressed by the acrobatics or by the fact that she had the presence of mind to grab the cutter. This bike thief will not be getting away with anything just because she had to make an early exit!

  50. Arkantos
    Arkantos
    January 11, 2014 at 10:44 am | #

    Like Donkey Kong?

    • Sageress
      Sageress
      January 11, 2014 at 12:43 pm | #

      Yes.

      • Arkantos
        Arkantos
        January 11, 2014 at 5:27 pm | #

        You know, I was going to the Ki blast thing again, but that just seems immature.

  51. Galatine
    Galatine
    January 11, 2014 at 10:50 am | #

    Get her, Walky! Use your intelligence!

  52. Jess
    Jess
    January 11, 2014 at 11:17 am | #

    Haha, that alt text is exactly what I thought when I saw that panel on Tumblr.

  53. Mal
    Mal
    January 11, 2014 at 12:45 pm | #

    In the other universe, there’s supernatural stuff always right there in the background, even when we’re just following a toy store.

    In this universe, it seems like there aren’t really any supernatural elements… except Amber. She’s done some stuff that I wouldn’t expect a woman of her size and frame to be able to do. Am I misreading this?

    • Bilfred
      Bilfred
      January 11, 2014 at 1:04 pm | #

      she’s just super pro like that.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      January 11, 2014 at 4:58 pm | #

      You forgot Sal’s hair which can suddenly poof into curls without warning, I’m fairly certain that hair doesn’t work that way.

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        January 11, 2014 at 8:22 pm | #

        Rule of Funny.

  54. Sambo
    Sambo
    January 11, 2014 at 9:00 pm | #

    BAD. ASS.

  55. Stranger
    Stranger
    January 11, 2014 at 9:25 pm | #

    …okay, this has been bugging the crap out of me, how on Earth can se do stuff like this? The only excersize we’ve seen her get is for her thumbs when she’s playing video games.

    • Arkantos
      Arkantos
      January 11, 2014 at 9:40 pm | #

      Judging by the exertion noise in the last panel, I don’t think she’s going to stick the landing on that one.

    • HMRC4EVR
      HMRC4EVR
      January 11, 2014 at 10:15 pm | #

      It may be part mental conditioning. It just depends on how separate a personality Amazi-Girl is from Amber.

      I think it’s safe to say (Willis please correct me if I’m way off base) Amber’s mental mindset is that as AG she can do anything she needs to do to stop crime. Thus it’s her will helping her pull out stunts like this that-as Amber- she would be hard pressed to do.

      Granted, she would normally need to be top physical shape to do this all the time. But as an occasional exertion her current physical condition plus mental mindset as “I’m Amazi-Girl and this is nothing” might be enough to get by.

    • Bill
      Bill
      January 11, 2014 at 11:19 pm | #

      If you’ve got a core set of skills, you can sometimes call them up into play on a short-term basis in the case of emergency.  And remember, when Dorothy claimed that she had been a cross-country start in high school Amazi-Girl countered that by admitting that she had a background as a track-and-field athlete — while hurdling a fairly high hedge at the time.

      Unless Amazi-Girl was a distance or steeplechase runner her best bet is to get away quick and find a hidey-hole, because if it comes to a long drawn-out rundown I think Dorothy’s endurance as a cross-country runner would be the difference.

  56. Paul1963
    Paul1963
    January 11, 2014 at 10:19 pm | #

    That is damned impressive.
    That said, I’m thinking that she’s going to be really sore and moving quite slowly the next day. I agree with the earlier posters that she may be able to execute that move, but it ain’t easy and there will be consequences later.

  57. Kole
    Kole
    January 11, 2014 at 10:53 pm | #

    ok seriously everyone going BUT HER WRISTS or SHE SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO DO THAT needs to shut the hell up. I’m positive were Amber a guy no one would be questioning his ability to do this.

    • Intie
      Intie
      January 12, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

      are you really going there
      seriously
      or is this a parody of your anti-sexism tumblr user or what

      • Toad
        Toad
        January 12, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

        ?????????????????????????

      • Toad
        Toad
        January 12, 2014 at 1:13 am | #

        are you really going there
        seriously
        or is this a parody of your men’s rights activism redditor or what

        • Intie
          Intie
          January 12, 2014 at 3:16 am | #

          It’s funny because I’m a girl. Oh wait nevermind, that doesn’t mean I can’t be a men’s rights activist sexist.
          But still.
          Looking at this comic.
          Seeing the slightly chubby nerd girl doing a backflip.
          Thinking real hard.
          Sexism is the last thing that would come to mind.
          If Amber were a boy/transgender/transsexual/hermaphrodite/pangender/androgyn with the same physical structure I would still question his/her/xyr/zir/hir/eir/vis/nir ability to pull this off.

          • David Willis
            David M Willis
            January 12, 2014 at 3:21 am | #

            yyyyyyyyyyyyeah

            (i swear the title didn’t match my search terms)

            Another.

            Turns out, hey, you can have muscle and power, even under a rounder frame. And for some people, no matter how much you work out, that shape doesn’t go away. You can be in amazing shape and still have flab. (You can also have no flab and be in terrible shape.)

            also i have edited your list of things to remove stuff i understand to be insulting terminology, though the whole thing really reads as patronizing

            • Intie
              Intie
              January 12, 2014 at 4:26 am | #

              That’s interesting. But I assume these people have been practicing a lot which we’ve never seen Amber do, though that doesn’t mean she didn’t. But that wasn’t even the point of my post.

              I just wanted to emphasize that it is not because of the character’s gender that people are questioning the possibility of the backflip successfully happening, as how Kole above was suspecting.

              • Kole
                Kole
                January 13, 2014 at 6:21 pm | #

                ANYONE who can pull that shit off needs to practice a lot to do it. The fact that you feel the need to insult a plethora of identities to try and make an idiotic point underlines my own.

                And yet when a guy pulls this shit off, we read the goddam subtext- that they’ve obviously had practice to do it. But if they’re chubby? Or a woman? We don’t read that implied subtext anymore and suddenly go “WAIT BUT THE ONLY CARTOON CHUBBY PEOPLE I’VE EVER SEEN EAT DONUTS AND ARE THE BUTT OF FAT JOKES LMAO!! I SUDDENLY NEED NOTARIZED DOCUMENTATION AS PROOF OF THEM PRACTICING THESE THINGS OR IT’S GOING TO HINDER MY ABILITY TO SUSPEND DISBELIEF!!”

                So yeah no

                • Intie
                  Intie
                  January 14, 2014 at 3:11 pm | #

                  Oh so it’s about discrimination towards overweight people too. Alright.
                  You see, Kole, The world is a shitty place where people generalize and use stereotypes in order to understand the things around them. When you see a kind of chubby girl of whom all previous portayals only showed her being slightly reserved and playing video games you sort of come to the conclusion that she isn’t doing much excercise.
                  Yeah that sucks. Fuck the world.
                  And no. When a nerdy chubby guy does this, there’s no implied subtext. If a not-chubby girl does this, there might be subtext, so would be if a not-chubby guy did it. Because people are awful. But it’s really not about her gender. It’s about her being a fat nerd. Nobody looks at this anfd thinks “if Amber had a penis this would be normal”. No. This is just you. You are special. Congratulations.
                  And I don’t understand what you found offensive in that post, but I apologize.

    • Caleb
      Caleb
      January 12, 2014 at 12:17 pm | #

      It’s not her sex or physical structure that’s problematic. It’s her hand position. In fact, her wrists aren’t even in the greatest danger here; her skull is. Her hands should be turned around the other way, to offer maximum skeletal support. It’s not an issue of strength or size, it’s an issue of proper back handspring technique.

  58. Bill
    Bill
    January 12, 2014 at 5:35 am | #

    Head for the roundhouse, Amazi-Girl; they can’t corner you there.

  59. nothri
    nothri
    January 16, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

    Christ, that guy. “She stole my cutter!” Cry me a goddamn river, jackhole.

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