Distracted by the… Sal.
Rutina Wesley would make the perfect Sal.
Rutina Wesley is not a good choice. and not only because I think she’s a bad actress.
I agree, on both accounts.
Put your eyebrows back on, Danny!
The right one seems to have reached escape velocity.
It didn’t wanna hang around to see Danny go and start Danning everything up again.
AAAAANNNNDDD Danny grasps the idiot ball RIGHT back into his hands for a touchdown!
To be fair, there’s no way for him to know that Sal is the worst possible person Amber could see him talking to.
Sal technically isn’t the worst. That was Blaine.
Huh, I actually forgot about Faz… Where the Hell’s he been? Dina chuck him inna river or something?
Got I hope so.
Even worse (better?), she gave him to Ruth. Wherever he is, he probably doesn’t have femurs anymore.
Nobody fears Faz the Femurless.
Nobody fears Faz period.
Except for been stuck in a lift with him.
Let me show you this chart that shows the number of people that fear Faz.
Is that an unsliced pie graph or just a big number zero?
Why would Faz have a period? Is there something about him we don’t know?
who is faz? that name doesn’t ring a bell
Well, the Dumbing of Age Faz tag will take you to everything you technically know about him in this universe. He hasn’t been in the DoA comic much, but it’s enough to get a pretty negative impression.
Let Faz show you on this chart where he appeared and wooed the female humans…
Faz is a character who hasn’t had a lot of screen time in dumbing of age, but he’s infamous in the other comic for… reasons. He showed up with Blaine in dumbing of age.
Other comic? What other comic?
Remember how Blaine is a terrible father? And when we saw him in his car, he was alone? Blaine either a) forgot to bring Faz back with him, and he’s wandering around campus unaware Blaine is hospitalized or b) he left Faz by himself in the motel room all day, and he’s sitting around flirting with imaginary women unaware Blaine is hospitalized.
If Ruth took Faz’s femurs, then Faz would have landed in the hospital before Blaine. Maybe they’re both across the hall from each other in the hospital and neither of them know the other is there. I think that’ll be my headcanon until I’m proven wrong.
“Father, I, the great Faz, shall now describe in detail how I have wooed all the young, female nurses. First, I wooed them by being great. Then, I wooed them by showing them a diagram of how great I am. Then…”
“Shut up Faz.”
Pretty sure Faz is just a creep, and didn’t exist half as long as Blaine.
Since Faz is the spawn of Blaine by definition he could not exist as long as Blaine. But I agree on the “creep” definition. Faz is most definitely creepy.
Eh, Sal hasn’t done anything bad so far.
Quick, get Joyce in here to rant about forgiving people and turning a new leaf.
Yeah, honestly in this case it’s more like he’s the victim of unfortunate circumstance.
And, in his defense, I don’t know how many 18-year-olds would really have the presence of mind to recognize an abusive parent. He still owes Amber an apology, and it’s a failing on his part, but it’s one that, I think, a lot of kids have at some point in their lives. To say nothing of the adults who are too busy having their heads in the clouds to acknowledge that sometimes things don’t fit their ideology.
When it comes to actually learning from this, he’ll probably Danny it up somehow. But, I don’t know, in a lot of ways I appreciate seeing a character like Danny need to confront his failings like this, rather than sort of glide through life believing that everything he does is just A-OK and he doesn’t need to think about privilege.
He’s not the victim of circumstance, he’s the victim of deception. Amber deliberately lied to him and set him up to get ambushed by Blaine. Frankly, she owes him an apology.
Not really, no.
Actually, Amber got him pulled into the problem when she used him as a human shield (which she needs to apologize for), purposefully lied to both Danny, and Danny’s parents, alongside leaving out crucial info that put Danny in harm’s way. Sorry, but no, Danny has nothing to apologize for, because it was Amber’s own actions that put him in danger, and yes, Amber does have some needs to apologize and explain to him.
I only recently noticed: Amber may have recognized Sal the first time she saw her. In retrospect, I’m kind of surprised that despite Amber being the one to stab Sal, the recognition is not mutual. Maybe it was the different glasses.
Well, it may that Amber recognized Sal because she obsessed over that moment for her entire life afterward and got it all pretty ingrained in her head. Sal, by contrast, didn’t really focus on Amber, and probably didn’t get quite as good a look.
There was quite a long, in-depth discussion about this on this page, if you want to scroll through the comments and see everyone’s theories.
Screw the touchdown. By this point he’s been doin’ a dance at the end zone for at least a week.
He’s actually been doing it just outside the end zone though, and no one has the heart to tell him that he hasn’t scored yet.
Yeah this is just “Damn you Willis” fate powering it. Unlike most of his recent moves Danny has no reason to assume anything but that Sal is one of the safest people to talk to right now in terms of avoiding Amber.
The idiotball is his left testicle.
I have a feeling that the idiot ball is 6378 kilometers in radius …
I do not understand the reference. Explain, please? I feel like I have missed something cultural in this one.
VG Cats reference maybe?
It’s impressive that he scored a touchdown because we’re actually playing idiot baseball.
Danny’s just that good.
Actually, Danny’s gameplay looks a lot like Calvinball.
Sweet merry Jesus.
Sweet “Mary” Jesus.
New Easter Candy: chocolate Jesus while dancing a jig.
He’s going to Danny it up.
He’s Danning to the Nth degree!
He’s so happy to see her.
Of course, she has his DS.
I’m always happy to see people who have my stuff. Or furious. either or.
So if you give people your stuff, you will suddenly become happy with them?
I’m not happy WITH them. I’m just happy to see them again cuz it means I can get my stuff back.
Well, so much for that theory…
Well there is the . If you can get someone to do you a minor favor, they will come to like you more. It’s weird and has to do with cognitive dissonance (you wouldn’t do a favor for someone you don’t like, and it’s not like they twisted your arm, so you must like them to some degree). But yeah, if you lent someone your DS, for no real reason, then you probably are somewhat happy to see them.
^Well there is the Ben Franklin Effect.
Napoleon Bonaparte apparently knew this. He said, to make a friend, let them do you a favour.
A DS with a dead battery. She needs him to charge it for her!
If you know what I mean?
Mario Kart is a hell of a drug…and she needs her fix!
Hm, so is enough battery charge to Mario Kart more or less than a nickel? Trying to get the economy worked out here.
A Nintendo DS battery holds 3.7Wh. For a nickel you can charge it between 60 and 70 times.
This is going to revolutionize the motherfucking economy!
Though it seems only happy enough for one eyebrow.
That’s because his other eyebrow has shot outside the screen.
Right you are, Mr. Alttext. Right you are.
Danny really ought to use thought bubble.
Everyone he’s passed today knows everything about Amazi-girl that he knows.
In a matter of minutes, while it took him DAYS!
They all know what her kisses taste like?
I’m sure some villain can use that against her.
Son of a bitch HE’S DOING IT AGAIN!
He’s had a nice rest, and his stock of Danniess is back up to full Dan.
This is the song that doesn’t end…
It just goes on and on my friend.
Some people started it, not knowing what it was.
And they’ll continue singing it forever just because.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U2zJOryHKQ Yes, I know I’m evil >:)>
Let’s stop this damn refrain, before we go insane
Yeeeeesss. Let your hate flow!
That alt text. [super sarcastic voice] Hm…. IT’S ALMOST AS IF THIS IS ALL DELIBERATE!
I’ve decided to give up any last shred of hope for that guy no to Dan things up anymore, so I’m just gonna sit back and let this blow up spectacularly in his face as usual.
Yes, Danny, lead yourself to your own ruin once again.
Danny really is trying.
Trying so hard. So hard… you almost want to just tell him to quit.
TO PISS ME OFF!
I don’t think he has to try to do that.
He’s naturally gifted.
The harder he tries, the more he fucks up.
The moral of the story is to never bother to even try.
I certainly find him trying.
She wants his charger to stick in her slot.
I hear that if you blow it out first, its more likely to work when you put it in.
You win teh internets today.
All the ways this could go bad….all the ways…and Danny will inevitably find the worst one.
Yeah, it’s not even a question of “will this go wrong”, but “how badly”.
Ironically I can’t help but thing the way this could go badly might actually be to have a healthy friendship/realationship with her.
Hellooooooo lady <3
He Yakko calm that down.
And thus Danny found his superhero name.
You think she’s There to bug him about his DS charger?
That’s not his superhero name.
That’s his G.I. Joe name.
He was gonna be “Hat Muffs,” but that codename was already taken…
Is Wonderbread Wonder Woman’s new form of transportation?
Is Sal Wonder Woman?!?
That depends; would her motorcycle be cooler if it was invisible?
I mean ideally…but she’d look like she’s just kinda…squatting everywhere and so it’d lose a bit of it’s coolness.
I see how that could present some… problems….
That depends on whether you find the image of Sal blasting down the street hovering in a seated position mid-air cool or hilarious.
If anyone could make that look cool, it’d be Sal somehow.
What would you know about cool? YOU WORE A STETSON!….. TWICE!
STETSONS ARE COOL.
Cool isn’t the word that comes to mind.
Watching Sal straddle an invisible motorcycle would be totally hot.
I think I just broke the first rule of motorcyclin’.
Sal is Wonder Woman.
I thought she was basically Batman.
Wonder Woman is basically Batman… but better.
And, I mean, with superpowers. That’s kind of a big difference. And like, WAY less brooding.
Wonder Woman and Wonder Bread, HA!
Almost forgot been a while since I did this “Damn it Danny!”
GOOD THINKIN’, DANNY!
Everyone already going on about Danny danning things up, when this is a situation that he literally has no way to know anything about.
I’m pretty sure Blaine could walk up and punch Dina in the face right now and people would find a way to blame Danny for it.
I blame Danny for the war of 1812.
No that was Bush’s fault….or maybe Obama’s?
I blame Danny for the Permian–Triassic extinction event.
If only Danny were more punchable then Blaine wouldn’t have needed to punch Dina.
You say this like they have ever needed a reason to shit on Danny. They just do it to do it.
I mean, lately? Kinda. In the beginning I think a big factor was the way his relationship with Dorothy went down.
I think it was mostly how happy he was that Dotty needed to talk to him.
People expected that him to be the clown whose entire purpose was to serve as punching bag.
Turns out the bag has real feelings.
I mean I didn’t like him because I thought he was dissimissive towards Dorothy and occasionally gave off a vibe of being sexist.
But in the beginning, Danny-shitting wasn’t a thing. It didn’t start until much later, for much sillier reasons.
I feel like that is the definition of Dannying something up. It’s his (often understandable) ignorance that causes most of his problems.
Well he should have a hint that talking to Sal might make things worse from the fact that Amber ran off the last time he was seen talking to her. He might not know the exact reason why, but there was still a hint that it bothered Amber for some reason.
(Falls out of chair)
I hope he has tight pants on as a smile like that pretty much indicates a raging boner is forming.
Anytime Sal or Ethan are in a strip someone has a boner forming.
Only Sal or Ethan? What about the others, don’t they tend to cause boners too?
It seems only half right if the polls are accurate, anyhow.
Gotta love that Rule 34.
God damnit, Dan. You’re hard to love, but you’re harder to hate.
I find him pretty easy to hate, really.
Obviously none of us hate Danny, because we actually care enough to mention when he dannys it up.
That would imply I really liked George Bush when he was in office, cause I sure as shit never let a moment pass when I could bitch about his latest screw up.
Not that I particularly dislike Danny. These days I get more upset with him the same way I get upset with that girl that goes down into the basement when she hears a noise. It isn’t really his fault because he doesn’t have a full grasp on the situation, but it doesn’t make it any less painful to watch the inevitable doom that falls upon him as a result of his ignorance.
I began by shipping Danny with Ethan and I ended by shipping Danny with Sal. What’s wrong with me?
You need to get over your job at UPS, clearly.
Not before he is he gets shipped to Abu Dhabi.
You suffer from acute excessive-shipping-itis. Igor, prepare the tools… we’ll have to amputate.
Panel 2 “Dat ass gives me feelings that I find very confusing.”
Yes, what is Ethan so happy about?
Danny gonna dan.
Oh my goodness, oh my damn, he’s gonna dan
Your love skills sure are hammy
And in bed
You’re a wonderbread
The Danny Horror Picture Show.
It’s just pictures of Danny.
“It’s just a jump to the left…”
and then a truck hits you because you jumped into the street.
No, no, no. That guy completely screwed it up.
Okay, people. Let’s do the timewarp AGAIN. From the top….
It’s just a jump to the *bed* …
It was great when it all began
We were regular Danny fans
But it was over when he had the Plan
To remain an oblivious man
+1 Fuckin’ Billion!
He’s the only thing that gives us hope
For a certain kind of dope.
Dumb is our age,
Keeps us safe from trouble and pain.
Jiminy Krispies! I suppose Danny will run into Faz next?
Mike seems a more likely opinion though – and very beneficial for Danny’s sake.
Danny needs Mike hovering behind him 24/7. It will solve every problem. Mike would be Kato to Danny’s (horribly more inept) Green Hornet.
“I’m gonna do what I can to avoid fucking up!”
Oh Danny, the road to the doghouse is paved with good intentions.
Wow Danny-boy, you’re really batting a thousand.
On the plus side we’ll get to see another epic ass-kicking soon….and this one might not be as one-sided. I think Sal could hold her own and dish it out.
Don’t care about Amber’s feelings on this one, I find this relationship (thing) amusing/interesting.
And… that’s another prediction that seems to be coming true…
I AM NOT READY FOR THE RESPONSIBILITIES THAT COME WITH THIS POWER!!!
I almost feel sorry for Danny. He’s trying, and yet he STILL Dans it up. It’s like it’s his special talent or something.
Hmm…what would a cutie mark for screwing up all the time look like?
An upsidedown corkscrew perhaps?
Which way is upside down?
It pointing up.
Wherever the enemy gate is.
Danny is always trying to do the right thing. Unfortunately for him the sitcom gods cursed him at birth so that no matter what the heck he does, no matter what the heck he intends, it will always blow up in his face in the most spectacular way possible, entirely because he has a lousy view of scenes he’s not in.
Yeah, he’s not though. You’re right about him having bad luck.
What’s the worst that could happen?
He becomes great friend with Sal, and then presents her to Amber because “meeting new people will do her good”.
Amber walks in Danny and Sal fucking.
Is that after or before Dina admits Amber being Amazi-Girl in Dorothy’s article ?
Amber sees them together, breaks under the pressure, and devotes herself to becoming a super villain/terrorist. Four years later president Dorothy’s term is cut short when a small parcel of uranium is detonated in front of the white house, sparking a nuclear war that destroys civilization as we know it.
You said “worst”, not “most likely worst” case scenario, right?
If Danny is wonderbread, what does that make Sal? Pumpernicke?
Not sure, but Mike’s sourdough.
Mike pumps ‘er for a nickel.
Who gets to be challah? That stuff is delicious.
I don’t think I have seen challah(braided bread) before in the bakeries over here in Oz.
The regiment’s in ‘ollow square-they’re hangin’ him to-day;
They’ve taken of his buttons off an’ cut his stripes away,
An’ they’re hangin’ Danny Deever in the mornin’.
I used to connected to Danny as a character because I had a Danny of my own running around my school…. but then my Danny got a girlfriend and part of a clue so now I have simple apathy. Go ahead Danny, screw up. Make my day.
So what is Danny just going keep bringing the world to Amber’s door step? like problem after problem because if this is how it going and Amber is still trieing to make it work then she really is a super hero.
I think it’s kind of funny. It’s like, through his clueless (though who could fault him with Sal, how could anyone possibly know about that stuff.) he is systematically forcing her to deal with her repressed problems. Granted, her method is somewhat… violent. But she’s finally confronting these issues that have plagued her for so long.
Amber: “Baby, you and your stupidity driven calamities are all the Therapy I need.”
Danny as Godzilla: Oh wow, is this a city I have wandered into?
Aaaaaaaand today I found out I share a nickname with Danny. Great.
I’d rather find out how and why you got the nickname in the first place.
Perhaps he/she can stay out in the sun all week and remain pale and fresh?
And “Wonderbread” sounds like the perfect nickname for Danny:p
Well Joyce is pretty much whitebread so…
Naw, Amazigirl’s Wonderbread. Danny’s just bread.
Wonderbread, what is the secret of your power?
Wonderbread, can you take me far away from all the mucky-muck?
Now it’s time for me to tell you about Young NastySal.
(Mongoose, you brilliant face-changing madwoman, you that was perfect!)
Young NastySal, arch rival and Mario Kart player to Wonderbread, with powers comparable to those of Wonderbread!
(No, its true. Danny has the power of being oblivious, and it is completely on par with Sal’s ability to look cool.)
I have my moments. ^_^
Remember the line “the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away… with mind bullets”? thanks to the effect of mondegreen, I originally thought the lyrics were “the power to kill a cat from 200 yards away… with my voice”.
Not gonna lie, that sounds pretty badass. But then, Banshee from the X-Men was like my favorite. Him and Nightcrawler.
Yay, Danny story!
Swing and a miss, Danny!
All Danny-luck aside, I don’t really understand Sal’s greeting here. Is it a reference to something?
It’s not a greeting it’s a demand.
someone’ll probably beat me to it, but it’s just a (slightly) derogatory term for white people. cause bread be white
IIRC, wonderbread is a slang term for a particularly bland white person.
Wonder Bread is the whitest of white bread.
So it’s a racial thing. Okay, thanks.
Sal picked out the “Wonderbread” nickname the previous time they met.
She prefers nicknames, it seems.
Can I call you link kitty?
Amazing. He’s like ‘let’s stay away from people Amber knows’ and then boom, he runs into the one person who gives Amber red-tinted war flashbacks. Absolutely perfect. Especially because he has no clue. One of the most Danny things Danny has ever done. Hilarious omg.
Willis, why do you torture Amber so much?!? She’s already had an abusive dad, but now her ex-boyfriend who found out he was gay with her is dating Joyce and her kinda-boyfriend is striking up a conversation with her arch-nemesis who used to date him in the Walkyverse so there’s no-doubt some leftover romantic tension from that (Granted, Danny and Billy got married in the Walkyverse, and Danny more or less rejected her a few storylines ago) and who she already saw bonding with him over Mario Kart!!!! The thing that they spent playing on their first sorta-date!!!!!!!!! And OF COURSE she’s going to walk in on them in a few minutes, because that’s how your evil yet brilliant mind works! The one thing that could possibly be the cherry on top of your demented sundae of sorrow is if Dorothy walks in, sees Amber when she enters (Which will no-doubt happen) and realizes that Amber’s Amazi-girl! When will Amber’s suffering end, man?
Sal: “Who are you talking to?”
I never really understood why it’s cool to Danny hate when Joyce fucks up on a relatively equal level of naiivete. I also don’t understand why I hate Danny so much more than Joyce, myself.
Joyce has an overly sheltered fundie background which she is slowly overcoming, Danny doesn’t have anywhere near the same excuse.
Keep in mind Danny isn’t fucking up here; yet again, he doesn’t have all the information.
“Last time Amber saw me talking to this chick, she freaked out and ran away in tears,” seems like plenty enough information to me.
Oh, and given how he treated Amber out of “loyalty to Amazi-Girl”, Danny has no fuckin’ excuse to be looking that pleased to see Sal.
Sal short-circuiting what passes for Danny’s brain is an inter-universal constant, too, it seems.
From the outside, I don’t think the cause of Amber’s freak out would have been very clear. Those are pretty unclear dots to expect Danny to connect.
And last time he saw Sal, he thought he was meeting his girlfriend without the mask for the first time. Give him a second to recalibrate. (Also, it wasn’t attraction to Amber that caused him to push it away. He didn’t do that until Amber started acting on it in a way that, from his perspective, was pointlessly manipulative.)
I don’t expect him to figure out the actual reason that Amber freaked out upon seeing him with Sal. He’s got none of the information he needs to even begin to do that. But he does know that Amber did freak out, and the obvious assumptions he should be making about the reasons, especially now that he knows that Amber is Amazi-Girl and Sal isn’t, while they won’t lead him to the reason that Sal is the worst possible hot girl for him to be hanging with, are probably not even entirely wrong.
(And consider this strip. I’m reading between the lines a little, but I’m seeing it as Danny confessing that he is actually very attracted to Amber, but that his feelings for her scare him. So he pushes her away so he can run back to the fantasy version of her, who is exciting but in fantasy ways, not real and scary.)
I dunno, I looked through those strips and I gotta say I wouldn’t blame Danny for not realizing Sal was the one who freaked her out/why. Amber was crying, saw them, and ran away. For all he knows she was embarrassed to cry in front of him, or didn’t want to see him. Or was already crying and running, and only stopped for a moment when she saw him.
@John: “Last time Amber saw me talking to this chick, she freaked out and ran away in tears,” seems like plenty enough information to me.
It could have been enough information if it had actually been presented to him like that.
You mean, apart from believing she doesn’t belong to the group “people Amber knows”?
What do you mean “presented to him”? Amber came into the room where Danny was talking to Sal, saw them, and turned around and ran off crying. That’s what happened. Danny saw it. Are you saying Danny needs a narrator to explain the events of his life to him? To point out that maybe hanging out with a hot chick after rejecting his girlfriend due to mistaken identity and not actually clarifying what their current relationship status is might be a bad idea if he actually gives a shit about his erstwhile girlfriend?
And there’s, “Oh look a stranger I can talk to who doesn’t have anything to do with any of Amber’s problems,” and then there’s, “Why hello hot girl! It’s a DS charger in my pocket and I’m happy to see you!” Maybe it’s just that he’s pleased to discover that maybe there’s a chance that he’ll get his DS back, but I officially gave up on ever giving him any benefit of the doubt about three idiot moves ago, because that way he can’t disappoint me again.
Are you for real? If you get into a fight with your girlfriend, you aren’t allowed to even talk to another woman until everything is straightened out? That’s not healthy.
I really have to spell this out?
Yes, Danny was talking to Sal when Amber ran away crying. It doesn’t logically follow that Sal must be the reason Amber ran away crying. Correlation does not equal causation.
We know Sal was the reason. Danny does not, and he has no reason to suspect it. Because as far as he was aware, Amber already had a perfectly good reason to run away crying: he friend-dumped her. And as far as he’s aware now, she had another perfectly good reason: her asshole father was harassing her. Finally, upon seeing Amber running away crying, Sal showed no signs of recognizing her.
Adding all this together, any sane person in Danny’s situation would assume that Sal is not someone Amber knows. If they did assume she was, they might as well assume that everyone in frickin’ Indiana was.
Apparently I have to spell this out, too, because both you and Kevin seem bound and determined to miss it:
AMBER’S HISTORY WITH SAL DOES NOT MATTER.
Hence, Danny’s inability to intuit it from wildly insufficient information, which I’ve already agreed to be the case, also DOES NOT MATTER.
The events here, from Danny’s perspective, are:
The girl that he now knows was his girlfriend, who he the previous day told to get out of his life, enters the room in distress. She sees Danny flirting (and don’t even try to tell me that’s not what he was doing) with a hot girl (who he thought was her, but now knows was not), stops in obvious shock, and then turns around and runs away crying.
Danny has no way of knowing that Amber and Sal have prior history. He has no way of knowing what went down in the cafeteria just before this. That being the case, the obvious explanation for him to arrive at for this course of events is that Amber – who, again, he now knows is Amazi-Girl, allegedly his girlfriend – is upset because she saw him flirting with another girl after rejecting her.
(And, as I said above, while this explanation doesn’t touch on the reason that Sal’s the worst possible other girl for Danny to be flirting with, it’s probably not even wrong, as far as it goes.)
And given that Amber and Danny’s relationship status is still hanging unresolved, with that rejection still in the air, and Danny not even showing any awareness that maybe it’s something that he should fucking apologize for, going back and doing again what is, as far as he can tell, the very thing that set off Amber’s freakout, qualifies as a serious dick move.
There is no reason to assume Amber has a secret dark history with Sal from that strip. I think you’re taking the Danny hate a little too far here.
And there’s no reason that Danny needs to know that to figure out that maybe he shouldn’t be hanging out with Sal while the situation with Amber is unresolved. The stuff he does know should lead him to that conclusion if he gave it any thought. The reasons might be wrong, but the answer works out the same.
No, honestly, that conclusion is ridiculous. “Amber was crying while I was near Sal, I better never talk to Sal again”. Also, he needs his DS back.
Joyce has been sheltered from human nature and different beliefs do to a religious upbringing and the absence of relationships. I think it’s fair to say that Danny has been sheltered from realistic relationship expectations due to spending 3 of the most vital years of adolescence in a relationship where he was strung along by a girl who wasn’t as serious as he was.
Although it is also fair to point out that Danny had ignored his own ambitions in order to coast off of the success of Dorothy. He’s not completely blameless, but Dorothy did enable him.
Danny looks nowhere near as adorable in a hoody.
Yeah, except Dorothy wasn’t stringing him along or enabling him. She was perfectly clear about her intentions and actively discouraged him from trying to follow her through college. In that particular case, he not only plugged his ears and went “LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU LALALA”, he dismissed her aspirations as lofty pipe dreams.
Meanwhile we have Joyce, who, though growing up in a very sheltered home, is actively trying to learn more about the world around her and grow out of her naivete. And when she DOES fuck up badly, the comment section does often turn against her (See: the whole “encouraging a gay man to repress his sexual urges” thing).
That all said, no, Danny doesn’t deserve some of the hate he’s getting for this strip in particular. He *could have* pieced together that Sal + Amber = Very Bad from Amber running away crying, but he could have just as easily figured that Amber didn’t want him to see her breaking down.
To me, Joyce represents a foreign, incomprehensible form of fuck-uppery. Unable to understand, I just default to sympathetic mode.
Danny’s fuck ups however, are entirely relateable, and serve as a perfect outlet for my own self-loathing.
Actually, now that I think about it, it might be because Joyce’s naivety was foisted on her by an outside force (her church) while Danny’s naivety is all him. Nobody victimized him, so instead of a victim we see him as a buffoon.
Because Joyce is written in an endearing way while Danny is not.
All of the above, plus Joyce has tits. As best I can tell every single female in this comic gets more leeway from the fanbase for their errors and misdeeds than any of the males do.
“As best I can tell”
Let’s count the number of assumptions in this sentence!
1, the assumption that any of the female characters have exactly equivalent flaws to the males. Not one does. Closest I can think is Joe/Roz, and there’s still a pretty wide gap there.
2, the assumption that this opinion is based on representative samples of the fanbase.
3, the unstated assumption that this forgiveness is due to lust (see also, ‘Joyce has tits’).
4, the assumption that the majority of the fanbase is straight males or gay females, who might feel lust for the female characters.
5, the assumption that this portion of the fanbase is almost entirely comprised of the type of people who are completely unable to observe characters or people who fall into their orientation’s attraction without a) being attracted to them and b) being so attracted that it makes them completely incapable of noticing their flaws.
(For the record, that’s the creepiest assumption of the lot)
But sure. “As best I can tell”. Never mind the people who hated Ruth, or Roz, or Dorothy, and definitely don’t think about the fact that there’s just straight up more women in the comic than dudes, by number.
I think this list of assumptions says a lot about you.
1. Danny and Joyce were explicitly mentioned as comparable, yet only Joe and Roz come to mind, who are not exactly known for their fuck-uppage. Only Joe has been made a verb, and, unlike Danny, not one with negative connotations, yet you describe Joe and Roz as similarly flawed.
2. The available sample size of the fan base does not allow for great confidence, which is explicitly stated in begbert2′s comment. Where you get the assumtion from the observation is based on a representative sample size, despite the disclaimer, is anyone’s guess.
3. That is very much an assumption on your part.
4. I cannot fathom where you drag that assumption from.
5. Nowhere is it stated that only people who are sexually attracted to women would give women greater license, nor that said attraction would be a reason to.
And the fact that there are more female characters should make it more likely that a woman is not only the most liked character, but also the most hated. Interestingly you don’t mention the least popular female character, Mary, in your enumeration, who does not receive as much hate as Danny, or Blaine. Can you think of a good way to quantify the hate towards each character among the fans?
1, begbert specifically said “every female character”. Not just Danny/Joyce.
2, “the fanbase” implies, at very least, most of the people who read the comic, if not all. If there’s another meaning for “the fanbase” that isn’t the literal one, please inform me.
3, is there another reason for specifically mentioning tits over, I don’t know, literally any other female traits, or just the fact that Joyce is female? The only way this specifically makes sense is as a sexualized statement.
4 follows from 3
5 follows from 4 and 3.
Mary doesn’t receive as much hate as Blaine because Blaine is demonstrably a worse person, with a larger role in the comic overall thus far. The two people are not equivalent. I’ve never seen anyone defending Mary, however, and Danny seems to have at least 4-5 defenders in this specific comments alone.
And your last sentence epitomizes exactly why I think the original statement was so farcical to begin with. There is no method even remotely accurate for quantifying character hate among the fanbase, so assuming that “every single female in this comic gets more leeway from the fanbase for their errors and misdeeds than any of the males do” is a non-disprovable assumption.
It’s not even wrong.
1. Yes, that is true. No need for comparable characters at all. Yet you felt the need to mention them.
2. I agree with your definition of fanbase. From which follows that no statement about the fanbase’s opinions in general can be made with certainty.
3. Tits are a secondary sexual characteristic, that, unlike a beard, cannot easily be removed.
4. is not a separate assumption from 3, and does not warrant its own enumeration point. It is still your own assumption that any mention of unambiguous characteristics is necessarily about lust.
5. It does not follow, it is a sufficient condition for your own conjectures.
You have a point that begbert2′s statement that “every single female gets more leeway [...] than any of the males” is at best pure hyperbole that, despite your own assertion that it is a non-disprovable assumption, you have disproven. I maintain, though, that you have an odd way of calling bullshit.
My point on 1 was that I don’t really think any of the male or female characters can be compared terribly well, because they’re all different. I don’t particularly see many similarities between Danny and Joyce. He’s a constantly worrying/overthinking dude whose parents don’t believe in him, has bad luck and a minor tendency for self-delusion. She’s a constantly upbeat girl who’s super nice, but the hateful and inaccurate things she’s been taught keep running into real life. Maybe the females are given more sympathy, but even if it’s true it wouldn’t necessarily be because of tits. It could be because their backgrounds are, collectively, more sympathetic.
Female tits are very much a sexualized secondary sex characteristic. I don’t particularly think it makes a ton of sense, but there’s no honest way of denying it’s a thing.
I didn’t really disprove begbert’s statement, frankly. It could be true! But it’s not really a question that could be answered with any accuracy. You’d need a pretty complex poll to ascertain that it was actually ‘all ladies’, and a frankly magic poll to ascertain that it was because of ‘tits’.
Well. I suppose I should say something.
Firstly, tits are a secondary sexual characteristic, that, unlike a beard, cannot easily be removed. Also I like to cultivate a somewhat crass image out here on the interweb. Regardless it’s clear that not all forgiveness for the females is driven by lust; for Joyce it’s clearly her cuteness and (most-of-the-time) friendliness that earns her a free ride. But regardless, it seems that the female characters of this comic are more easily forgiven of their misdeeds than the males.
1) I never said or implied that all misdeeds are equivalent or demand the same responses. That’s idiotic. Nonetheless the relative responses of each persons actions and reception can be assessed, and the relative ‘fairness’ ratings are then on the same scale and can be compared.
2) I do not make my assessments based on people who lurk and don’t comment. Obviously. I base my assessments on the comments. Made by people who comment. Individuals who comment a lot naturally have a larger impact on the tone of the comment section than people who comment little or not at all, naturally enough.
3) As noted, it’s not necessarily about lust – though the breasts of the female characters and the ships between them do get mentioned a lot around here. I don’t know the specific cause or causes. I merely note the effect. (Though I do concede I implied a correlation – that being female buys the characters slack. This sort of thing is observed in other audiences and fanbases as well; it’s a common double-standard.)
4) By your own words, since your assumption 3 was wrong this is baseless.
5) By your own words, since your assumptions 3 and 4 were wrong this is baseless. Any creepiness present in it is of your own insertion.
In writing this, I definitely thought about the fact that the comic has about four times as many female characters as males. I also considered the fact that many of them haven’t done anything they might be faulted for, at least on camera. It’s also worth noting that the two true “villians” of this comic so far -Blaine and Whatsisname from the party- are both male, and rightly hated. Also I concede that there are some male characters that are almost entirely comedic in nature: Faz, Mike. These people also get out relatively unscathed, almost certainly because they’re funny.
But since this really has shoved a bug up your ass, I’ll rephrase my apparently all-important thesis. “Of the characters who have participated in drama in this comic, by and large the males get more and longer lasting condemnation from the noticeable fanbase for their acts than the females do. God knows why.”
Whether or not this thesis gets me declared “creepy” (again), I leave to another massive debate to decide.
I am terribly afraid that all of you have made the grave tactical error of taking all of preceding comments as far more serious and far less tongue in cheek than they are intended.
After the massive argument above, I agree with you.
I don’t think I’ve ever kicked off such an intense argument with two drunken posts before.
Ack, attack of the walls of text! Run! Run for your lives!
Oh, I hate Joyce too.
Ah Danny… The original bad luck Brian
Wouldn’t “Bad Luck Brian” be the original bad luck brian?
(re tooltip) No writer hath greater fury than the one who once createdeth a goody two-shoes self-avatar and hath since developedeth way past that point, while findingth that the character in question couldn’t. Th.
Wheeew… I really needed that laugh. Thank you very much!
I love how he attains self awareness just long enough to drive home just how daningly he dans at daning.
I just realized:
Sal’s been getting it on fairly regularly now with a man she considers “a nerdy math teacher”.
Given that, do you think this Danny/Sal ship could work?
I’m pretty sure they only hooked up once, right?
Twice in fact.
First when Jason was tutoring her
Then after a Math lecture, when they performed the second most epic of hatefucks.
At least twice in-comic. Probably more off-screen.
I feel like Jason has an edge to him that Danny does not. Jason’s a pretty snarky bastard.
On a meta-level, I’m pretty sure we’re not going to see many Walkyverse relationships get rehashed.
Jason also has a British accent AND a bow tie. I have it on good authority this makes a man sexually irresistible.
It is a truth universally acknowledged.
But he doesn’t have a fez. Check and mate.
Ahh. Really. Danny’s abilities to make things worse are just uncanny.
I assume this http://dumbingofage.tumblr.com/image/75941282710 is soon to follow as part of some convoluted plan of Danny’s, one that is 999% guaranteed to backfire. And that doesn’t even make mathematical sense.
WHAT A TWEEST!
Hey Arnold had Eugene, Ed Edd n Eddy had Jonny, Even Disney had Goofy and now DoA’s own Danny know joins the Hall of fame of fictional character screw ups.
“Dannying things up” is starting to become a meme now , hope your proud Willis.
Danny Does a Horror Show.
Coming soon to Slipshine.
“Hand over the charger for your whatchamacallit.”
Just noticed that sexiest female and least-sexy male are on the panel.
Talk about a “how’d-me”
Sal isn’t Billie, and Danny isn’t Buckets of Blood Guy.
Billie is sexy on an objective level. She has curves.
Danny isn’t Blaine.
Uh oh, looks like Danny is going to interact with someone that he’s just magically supposed to know has a history with someone else he knows, of which is traumatic and completely not good, and he’s gonna “Danny-up everything” because he opted to interact with this person because he doesn’t know about said history or the fact that him interacting with said person will make other person upset in some way.
Stupid Danny not being omnipotent and knowing absolutely everything about everyone. What a terrible character! Burn him in the ceramics class kiln!
It wouldn’t be so bad, but this is not the first time Danny has not been omniscient. His lack of god-like foreknowledge I could forgive once, but not twice.
Yeah I love it when these two interact in this universe.
Danny! Stop doing you! ><
Whitebread, huh? Maybe I’m being sensitive, but it seems like Sal has race on the brain.
Sal didn’t say “white.” You did.
On the internet that comes across as an accusation of racism, so just to be clear, it’s understandable to expect evidence that Sal would have race on the brain, since she’s been dealing with issues relating to racial identity recently.
And Mario Kart ‘racing’…
Perhaps to you. I’ve been on the internet since its inception, and there, like in real life, “wonder bread” (and white bread too, actually), means inoffensive to all, but not terribly appealing either.
When you post something on the interenet your pretty much talking to the intire world so even the smallest thing you say could offend anybody.
For values of “could” that include “will”.
Wonderbread(s) is a popular white-pejorative in the same vein as cracker or ghost. I’ve heard it a few times now. And I assume Sal has race on the brain because that’s pretty much the defining character flaw you’ve presented us, Willis.
I’m not sure having race on the brain is a character FLAW. Issues of race have directly impacted Sal and her life for years. Why wouldn’t she be a bit more aware of it?
Man, I WISH I could stop being more aware of it. I was so happy then.
Character flaw, huh?
I misspoke, partially influenced by the conversation above. I considered posting a hasty correction but seriously, what difference does it make? Wonder Bread is white bread.
And I do hope you’re not trying to imply that Sal does NOT have race on the brain.
Did I say that being sensitive to race is a character flaw? Did I? I mean, I thought I was merely noting that in a single word Sal can re-establish that she’s still burned over her racial experiences that that it’s a somewhat notable part of her character and which apparently is going to color her interactions with Danny despite him not even being a relative. But hey, if you think that I was jumping down her throat and announcing that the only good characters are boring ones without personality, then you must be right.
I think Willis was responding to a comment above yours and accidentally responded to yours by mistake…
No, he responded to that one 5 hours before. He’s just trolling now.
If you’re not jumping down her throat, I’d use way less loaded terminology.
Whitebread, huh? Maybe I’m being sensitive, but it seems like bebert2 has race on the brain.
“bebert2″, huh? Maybe I’m being sensitive, but it seems like you type just as hastily and without-textual-review as I do.
Dude, Yotomoe misplaced one letter. That’s kinda different.
Dude, I fucking mistyped. I’m one of those people cursed with a brain that runs ahead of both my mouth and my fingers, leaving them to try to fumble around and catch up. I CONSTANTLY swap words and names around. I am going to be the guy who, if he ever has kids, always always always calls them by each others’ names instead of their own. (You know, like my dad does.)
But sure, yes, the fact that I constantly call “Julie” “Amy” and “ITT” “Telerik” means that I’m a closet racist. You people on the internet know me that well and must be right.
Bro, just calm down… No one with a Joyce Gravatar should be that wound up.
In Begbert’s defense, I DO do that too.
>Danny figures shit out
>Danny tries to make things right, or at least not worse
>Danny interacts with one person that make things a whole lot worse
>Danny loses all HP
>Danny has fainted.
Nuzlocke rules! Danny can not revive, must be released to wild, never to be seen again!
TPP releases AbbyK and Jay Leno instead.
Largely because of Amber continuing her policy of not telling people things, I will note.
“There was me, Danny, and my droogs…”
Danny takes entirely too much shit from the chat…he is a bit of a bonehead, but no way he’s all that bad. He is just a normal collage student a bit more unaware of his world and the goings on around him. He self involved and clueless. But he is not bad.
And recently he has been showing signs of turning into a person.
Dorothy did not “enable’ him, how in Hell do you enable someone to be your boyfriend?
Enabling is, in my opinion, just another way of blaming someone else for your own shortcomings. Seems pretty popular in our society today, be sure to blame someone else for your problems…..’cause they enabled you’. Its a term that maybe should be used as intended for serous problems like alcoholism and parents who stuff their kids full of Mickey D’s 4 nights a week.
Can’t say that is exactly on target, however it’s worded, as Dorothy was pretty surprised when Danny enrolled in the same college she did, just to be with her. She thought she said goodby when they graduated?
I think one of the old strips had her talking to someone about how she finally could get down to the important thing – her studies, and put high school relationships behind her.
Then when she tried to break it off with him on campus, by telling him that he was not serious about his studies and she was, and that she intended to move on past their current college to further her education. That they just weren’t on the same page.
He said “no problem, he’d enroll there too”.
That’s when she told him flat out not to. And broke it off with him in terms even he could understand.
Any normal human being would have picked up on the signals a long time before that. But, Danny had himself a girlfriend his parents approved of, and just didn’t want to let go of her. Dorothy did not want to hurt him, or string him along: I think she just didn’t want to hurt his feelings and also was too chicken to confront him until he forced her hand.
I’ve known a lot of Danny’s. I don’t hate ‘em, I just avoid any serious involvement with them. In time most of them grow up.
Just a note on the ‘enabling’ issue. You can enable something without doing so intentionally or without it actually being any fault of your own, sort of like a bar serving alcohol to an alcoholic, its not the bars fault the alcoholic continues his detrimental behaviour but its not stopping it either(maybe not best comparison but its what ive got right now). The term isnt supposed to be used as a way of blaming someone else for a problem but is supposed to be used to recognize what parts of a persons life support their detrimental behavior, either so that they can conciously recognize it and avoid it(if they are trying to stop) or so the other person can actively not enable the person in order to help them stop.
Whether or not Dorothy is enabling Dannys lack of understanding in relationships is debatable, but I do think he was in no way prepared to handle landmine he stepped on, he just has no experience with abusive parents or childhood trauma.
Danny will enroll in the same school she does, and he’ll do better than her, and when she leaves her fling to come crawling back to him, he’ll just laugh at her and… Oh, no sorry, that was the plot to Legally Blonde. My mistake.
You’re a jerk.
Said the genocidal, tyrannical, and power mad giant robot without apparent irony.
I love irony.
If I could insert a photo of a giant letter E made of iron, I would
*snickers uncontrollably* dammit, that is NOT supposed to be funny, brain…
Is she implying she’s aware of Danny’s delicious flavour? Or suggesting that Danny and the T.A. Jason make a sandwich out of her?
What is with these comments? The Danny hate is getting ridiculously tiring. HEY GUYS, HE’S NOT READING A COMIC ABOUT HIMSELF, HE DOESN’T KNOW THE BACKSTORY WITH SAL AND AMBER. JUST LIKE HE COULDN’T HAVE KNOWN ABOUT BLAINE (caps for apparently needed emphasis, not anger). If something bad happens here, it has nothing to do with him ‘Danning it up’.
I think it’s pretty hilarious that you (and several others) are reading ‘hate’ into all these comments about Danny dannying it up. I think at this point it’s more like resignation about Danny’s unwitting fate to be constantly, unwittingly making things worse.
Danny: the walking unintentional fuckup. It’s just who he is now.
Yeah, I feel like a lot of the really emotional drive to it is gone, and it’s mostly just a joke now. Wouldn’t be the first one this forum’s beaten into the ground.
Damnit Danny, stop making the commenters do dead-horse jokes !
Why do you have to keep Dannying this forum ?
Danny’s FAAAAACE is secretly Amazi-Girl!
It makes me surprisingly happy to see Sal actually initiate interaction with Danny.
> reads title text
Yeah, what the poop, writer?
i… cannot express how boring this comment thread becomes whenever there is a comic involving Danny. Just mind numbing. Literally 90% of all comments are just “Danning” jokes about everything bad that happens being Danny’s fault because he doesn’t know things he could not possibly ever have known. Even if people are just joking at this point, its a joke that’s long overstayed its welcome and has become stale.
We could be talking about any number of things like:
1. What will happen now between Danny and Sal, where this relationship will go, if they will become friends or not, if there is a possibility of romance (considering the relationship they had in the other universe) etc
2. If Danny ever does talk to Ethan about what happened with Blaine and what the result of that talk might be
3. and of course, where the Amber/Danny relationship will go from here.
Instead its mostly just jokes about how this is all Danny’s fault when literally none of this new situation is his fault. Willis even lampshades his tendency to make bad luck things happen to Danny with that alt text and it STILL went over peoples heads.
Idk, maybe because i only started reading a few months ago and so i burned through the archives quickly instead of having to wait week by week to see the Danny/Dorothy breakup, etc. All i know is that whenever Danny is involved these days this board defaults to really confusing and annoying hate that kind of sucks all the fun out of reading.
(I do enjoy that for once a MALE character is the one getting the mindless bashing and not the other way around, but surprisingly it doesn’t really make a difference in the negativity it brings)
Welcome to the internet, where all horses must be beaten until they become bloody smears where horse giblets used to sit.
Repetition is the death of comedy. By the time I finally got to watch “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”, it almost wasn’t even funny anymore.
I feel sorry for Dan. He struggles to do the right thing, and yet, fails miserably.
Fueling the Danny hatred makes me sad.
Danny looks oddly like Robin in the last panel.
*sigh* fate kicks Danny in the balls again. Cue the overwhelming number of “danning it up” jokes.
It’s sad how no matter what Danny does, he can never manage to do the right thing due to his being totally in the dark. Avoiding people Amber knows cause he doesn’t know who might be like Blaine? Good call, but then he runs into Sal who is possibly the worst person apart from Blaine, and neither of them know it.
Even the Blaine incident wasn’t really his fault, though Blaine’s story had a few holes in it that might have cause suspicion, but considering everything Danny did what he thought was best, his actions after the fight prove that.
So yeah, Danny has the worst luck out of anyone in the series (except possibly Joyce, for being born into her family and doomed to a life of naive willful ignorance)
Come to think of it, why did Sal get sent to jail when she only threatened to hurt any one, and Amber got away free for actually stabbing someone?
Assuming Amber got away free.
I’m assuming because she’s white.
Sal did not get sent to jail.
I forgot she hadn’t been sent to jail, but I was going to point out that the robbery involving Amber and Ethan wasn’t the only one.
We don’t know yet what happened to Amber right after the robbery and the stabbing. I’m hoping she got at least some court-mandated therapy, although I realize that if that were the case, it probably didn’t help her much.
After further consideration, I believe that it might have been taken as an extreme response to the stress of the incident — sort of a PTSD outburst — and been dealt with by being referred to Human Services (or its equivalent) for counseling and therapy.
And being that Amber was a juvenile, such records would have been either sealed or expunged upon her reaching the age of majority.
Maybe Amber got all that time she needed to practice being the best at everything while she was in juvie.
Geez, will you give Danny a break? It’s not like he knows that Sal is the cause of Amber’s descent into sorrow and despair that’s pooling from the very pit of her warped and twisted mind which only became that way because of the what the girl standing in front of him right now has done in the past in which he had no knowledge of whatsoever only because Amber deliberately failed to tell him thus.
I’m actually a little surprised Danny is so pleased to see Sal–given that he spent their last conversation insisting that she was Amazi-Girl, and now he has very definite proof that no, she isn’t, I’d expect more embarrassment. I guess he really does like her. (Either that or he’s just pleased to have an opportunity to reclaim his DS.)
“can I have my DS ba-”
“Ah need a charger.”
I let out an evil laugh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jm6yEe439lw (Yes I know a lot of old songs)
Danny Creates A Horror Show
Nice one Sir Willis. Boy, you sure enjoy torturing your poor characters.
Good god! The Danny hate has reached mega-levels! There are entire dissertations in this thread on how it has no grounds and is deader than dead!
If the World of Warcraft forums are any indication, that literally will not matter at all until all but a few people get tired of the ‘joke.’
Sorry if this has been addressed before, but I was wondering:
Do Mike and Ethan know about Amber being Amazi-girl? (In this universe, I mean, not the others.)
We know Ethan’s figured it outEthan’s figured it out. Mike… who knows, man. Probably. That guy seems to know everything.
Mother of Neptune! Amber PLEASE talk to this boy.
So, everyone who’s upset with Danny. Tell me exactly WHAT he’s doing wrong here?
Talking outloud for a start.
Its more the fact that Danny is cute and clueless. He’s like a guy version of Daphne from Scooby Doo.
Ohh… he in baaaad place right now
Danny you’re not just Wonderbread, your the Miracle Whip on top of it too.
O, wad some power the giftie gi’e us, to see oursel’ as others see us…
More like the writter likes to screw with his readership.
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