Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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man the writer sure hates this kid don't he
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May 12, 2026

Horror show

by David M Willis on April 8, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - I Was a Teenage Churchmouse
└ Tags: danny, ethan, sal

Discussion (356) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    April 8, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Distracted by the… Sal.

    • Stompinstein
      Stompinstein
      April 8, 2014 at 1:05 am | #

      Rutina Wesley would make the perfect Sal.

      • Aeyt
        Aeyt
        April 8, 2014 at 4:20 am | #

        Rutina Wesley is not a good choice. and not only because I think she’s a bad actress.

        • Cody B
          Cody B
          April 8, 2014 at 8:04 am | #

          I agree, on both accounts.

    • Yet-One-More-Idiot
      Yet-One-More-Idiot
      April 8, 2014 at 8:00 am | #

      Put your eyebrows back on, Danny! 😛

      • Tenn
        Tenn
        April 8, 2014 at 3:15 pm | #

        The right one seems to have reached escape velocity.

        • Yet-One-More-Idiot
          Yet-One-More-Idiot
          April 8, 2014 at 7:06 pm | #

          It didn’t wanna hang around to see Danny go and start Danning everything up again.

  2. Khaner
    Khaner
    April 8, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    AAAAANNNNDDD Danny grasps the idiot ball RIGHT back into his hands for a touchdown!

    • Galeus
      Galeus
      April 8, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      To be fair, there’s no way for him to know that Sal is the worst possible person Amber could see him talking to.

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        April 8, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

        Sal technically isn’t the worst. That was Blaine.

        • thecanvashat
          thecanvashat
          April 8, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

          Faz. Checkmate.

          • Tunaro
            Tunaro
            April 8, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

            Huh, I actually forgot about Faz… Where the Hell’s he been? Dina chuck him inna river or something?

            • Khaner
              Khaner
              April 8, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

              Got I hope so.

              • Kelly
                Kelly
                April 8, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

                Even worse (better?), she gave him to Ruth. Wherever he is, he probably doesn’t have femurs anymore.

                • Badeyes
                  Badeyes
                  April 8, 2014 at 12:48 am | #

                  Nobody fears Faz the Femurless.

                • Tunaro
                  Tunaro
                  April 8, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

                  Nobody fears Faz period.

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  April 8, 2014 at 1:00 am | #

                  Except for been stuck in a lift with him.

                • Spaz
                  Spaz
                  April 8, 2014 at 7:48 am | #

                  Let me show you this chart that shows the number of people that fear Faz.

                • Gigafreak
                  Gigafreak
                  April 8, 2014 at 11:05 am | #

                  Is that an unsliced pie graph or just a big number zero?

                • Roborat
                  Roborat
                  April 8, 2014 at 2:25 pm | #

                  Why would Faz have a period? Is there something about him we don’t know?

            • captain7675
              captain7675
              April 8, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

              who is faz? that name doesn’t ring a bell

              • Zababcd
                Zababcd
                April 8, 2014 at 2:53 am | #

                Well, the Dumbing of Age Faz tag will take you to everything you technically know about him in this universe. He hasn’t been in the DoA comic much, but it’s enough to get a pretty negative impression.

              • sanddorn
                sanddorn
                April 8, 2014 at 3:21 am | #

                Let Faz show you on this chart where he appeared and wooed the female humans…

              • Cody B
                Cody B
                April 8, 2014 at 8:06 am | #

                Faz is a character who hasn’t had a lot of screen time in dumbing of age, but he’s infamous in the other comic for… reasons. He showed up with Blaine in dumbing of age.

                • N.A.G
                  N.A.G
                  April 8, 2014 at 1:35 pm | #

                  Other comic? What other comic?

            • Count Dracula
              Count Dracula
              April 8, 2014 at 1:14 am | #

              Remember how Blaine is a terrible father? And when we saw him in his car, he was alone? Blaine either a) forgot to bring Faz back with him, and he’s wandering around campus unaware Blaine is hospitalized or b) he left Faz by himself in the motel room all day, and he’s sitting around flirting with imaginary women unaware Blaine is hospitalized.

              • Tawdry Quirks
                Tawdry Quirks
                April 8, 2014 at 2:23 am | #

                If Ruth took Faz’s femurs, then Faz would have landed in the hospital before Blaine. Maybe they’re both across the hall from each other in the hospital and neither of them know the other is there. I think that’ll be my headcanon until I’m proven wrong.

                • Eukie
                  Eukie
                  April 8, 2014 at 10:47 am | #

                  “Father, I, the great Faz, shall now describe in detail how I have wooed all the young, female nurses. First, I wooed them by being great. Then, I wooed them by showing them a diagram of how great I am. Then…”

                  “Shut up Faz.”

          • Jen Aside
            Jen Aside
            April 8, 2014 at 4:34 pm | #

            Pretty sure Faz is just a creep, and didn’t exist half as long as Blaine.

            • Opus the Poet
              Opus the Poet
              April 8, 2014 at 8:26 pm | #

              Since Faz is the spawn of Blaine by definition he could not exist as long as Blaine. But I agree on the “creep” definition. Faz is most definitely creepy.

      • Kit
        Kit
        April 8, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

        Eh, Sal hasn’t done anything bad so far.
        Quick, get Joyce in here to rant about forgiving people and turning a new leaf.

      • riteilu
        riteilu
        April 8, 2014 at 1:42 am | #

        Yeah, honestly in this case it’s more like he’s the victim of unfortunate circumstance.

        And, in his defense, I don’t know how many 18-year-olds would really have the presence of mind to recognize an abusive parent. He still owes Amber an apology, and it’s a failing on his part, but it’s one that, I think, a lot of kids have at some point in their lives. To say nothing of the adults who are too busy having their heads in the clouds to acknowledge that sometimes things don’t fit their ideology.

        When it comes to actually learning from this, he’ll probably Danny it up somehow. But, I don’t know, in a lot of ways I appreciate seeing a character like Danny need to confront his failings like this, rather than sort of glide through life believing that everything he does is just A-OK and he doesn’t need to think about privilege.

        • Tom T.
          Tom T.
          April 8, 2014 at 8:58 am | #

          He’s not the victim of circumstance, he’s the victim of deception. Amber deliberately lied to him and set him up to get ambushed by Blaine. Frankly, she owes him an apology.

          • riteilu
            riteilu
            April 8, 2014 at 12:01 pm | #

            Not really, no.

        • DragonStryk72
          DragonStryk72
          April 8, 2014 at 3:40 pm | #

          Actually, Amber got him pulled into the problem when she used him as a human shield (which she needs to apologize for), purposefully lied to both Danny, and Danny’s parents, alongside leaving out crucial info that put Danny in harm’s way. Sorry, but no, Danny has nothing to apologize for, because it was Amber’s own actions that put him in danger, and yes, Amber does have some needs to apologize and explain to him.

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        April 8, 2014 at 3:44 pm | #

        I only recently noticed: Amber may have recognized Sal the first time she saw her. In retrospect, I’m kind of surprised that despite Amber being the one to stab Sal, the recognition is not mutual. Maybe it was the different glasses.

        • SingingCat
          SingingCat
          April 8, 2014 at 11:27 pm | #

          Well, it may that Amber recognized Sal because she obsessed over that moment for her entire life afterward and got it all pretty ingrained in her head. Sal, by contrast, didn’t really focus on Amber, and probably didn’t get quite as good a look.

          There was quite a long, in-depth discussion about this on this page, if you want to scroll through the comments and see everyone’s theories.

    • Tunaro
      Tunaro
      April 8, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Screw the touchdown. By this point he’s been doin’ a dance at the end zone for at least a week.

      • Steven
        Steven
        April 9, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

        He’s actually been doing it just outside the end zone though, and no one has the heart to tell him that he hasn’t scored yet.

    • kagato23
      kagato23
      April 8, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

      Yeah this is just “Damn you Willis” fate powering it. Unlike most of his recent moves Danny has no reason to assume anything but that Sal is one of the safest people to talk to right now in terms of avoiding Amber.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      April 8, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

      The idiotball is his left testicle.

      • xKiv
        xKiv
        April 8, 2014 at 8:05 pm | #

        I have a feeling that the idiot ball is 6378 kilometers in radius …

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        April 8, 2014 at 8:31 pm | #

        I do not understand the reference. Explain, please? I feel like I have missed something cultural in this one.

      • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
        Gadgeteer Smashwidget
        April 8, 2014 at 8:54 pm | #

        VG Cats reference maybe?

    • LittleMountain
      LittleMountain
      April 8, 2014 at 1:11 am | #

      It’s impressive that he scored a touchdown because we’re actually playing idiot baseball.

      Danny’s just that good.

      • Rheinman
        Rheinman
        April 8, 2014 at 7:49 am | #

        Actually, Danny’s gameplay looks a lot like Calvinball.

  3. KKoro
    KKoro
    April 8, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Sweet merry Jesus.

    • KingMabel
      KingMabel
      April 8, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      Sweet “Mary” Jesus.

    • Kit
      Kit
      April 8, 2014 at 12:36 am | #

      New Easter Candy: chocolate Jesus while dancing a jig.

  4. NF
    NF
    April 8, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Rosebud.

  5. fbihop
    fbihop
    April 8, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    He’s going to Danny it up.

    • Keroshino
      Keroshino
      April 8, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

      He’s Danning to the Nth degree!

  6. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    April 8, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    He’s so happy to see her.

    • That Damn Rat
      That Damn Rat
      April 8, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      Of course, she has his DS.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        April 8, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

        I’m always happy to see people who have my stuff. Or furious. either or.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          April 8, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

          So if you give people your stuff, you will suddenly become happy with them?

          WHOA!

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            April 8, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

            I’m not happy WITH them. I’m just happy to see them again cuz it means I can get my stuff back.

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              April 8, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

              Well, so much for that theory…

          • E.R.
            E.R.
            April 8, 2014 at 1:06 am | #

            Well there is the . If you can get someone to do you a minor favor, they will come to like you more. It’s weird and has to do with cognitive dissonance (you wouldn’t do a favor for someone you don’t like, and it’s not like they twisted your arm, so you must like them to some degree). But yeah, if you lent someone your DS, for no real reason, then you probably are somewhat happy to see them.

            • E.R.
              E.R.
              April 8, 2014 at 1:07 am | #

              ^Well there is the Ben Franklin Effect.

              • Plasma Mongoose
                Plasma Mongoose
                April 8, 2014 at 1:13 am | #

                Good Point!

            • tinfoil theory
              tinfoil theory
              April 8, 2014 at 6:12 am | #

              Napoleon Bonaparte apparently knew this. He said, to make a friend, let them do you a favour.

      • Cholma
        Cholma
        April 8, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        A DS with a dead battery. She needs him to charge it for her!

        • Kelly
          Kelly
          April 8, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

          If you know what I mean?

        • Keroshino
          Keroshino
          April 8, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

          Mario Kart is a hell of a drug…and she needs her fix!

          • Badeyes
            Badeyes
            April 8, 2014 at 12:50 am | #

            Hm, so is enough battery charge to Mario Kart more or less than a nickel? Trying to get the economy worked out here.

            • tinfoil theory
              tinfoil theory
              April 8, 2014 at 6:27 am | #

              A Nintendo DS battery holds 3.7Wh. For a nickel you can charge it between 60 and 70 times.

              • Tenn
                Tenn
                April 8, 2014 at 3:21 pm | #

                This is going to revolutionize the motherfucking economy!

    • Dr. Zeus
      Dr. Zeus
      April 8, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      Though it seems only happy enough for one eyebrow.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        April 8, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

        That’s because his other eyebrow has shot outside the screen.

  7. sentrythedefiant
    sentrythedefiant
    April 8, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Right you are, Mr. Alttext. Right you are.

  8. Xerxes93
    Xerxes93
    April 8, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Danny really ought to use thought bubble.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      April 8, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      Everyone he’s passed today knows everything about Amazi-girl that he knows.

      • newllend
        newllend
        April 8, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

        In a matter of minutes, while it took him DAYS!

      • tinfoil theory
        tinfoil theory
        April 8, 2014 at 6:32 am | #

        They all know what her kisses taste like?

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          April 8, 2014 at 9:14 am | #

          I’m sure some villain can use that against her.

  9. newllend
    newllend
    April 8, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Son of a bongo HE’S DOING IT AGAIN!

    • nothri
      nothri
      April 8, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

      He’s had a nice rest, and his stock of Danniess is back up to full Dan.

    • Keroshino
      Keroshino
      April 8, 2014 at 12:59 am | #

      This is the song that doesn’t end…

      • Glacirus
        Glacirus
        April 8, 2014 at 2:07 am | #

        It just goes on and on my friend.

        • tinfoil theory
          tinfoil theory
          April 8, 2014 at 6:33 am | #

          Some people started it, not knowing what it was.

          • fantasyfreakvi
            fantasyfreakvi
            April 8, 2014 at 10:14 am | #

            And they’ll continue singing it forever just because.

            • Opus the Poet
              Opus the Poet
              April 8, 2014 at 8:51 pm | #

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U2zJOryHKQ Yes, I know I’m evil >:)>

        • LWS
          LWS
          April 8, 2014 at 7:53 am | #

          Let’s stop this damn refrain, before we go insane

    • Niblik
      Niblik
      April 8, 2014 at 12:27 pm | #

      Yeeeeesss. Let your hate flow!

  10. Carlos
    Carlos
    April 8, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    That alt text. [super sarcastic voice] Hm…. IT’S ALMOST AS IF THIS IS ALL DELIBERATE! 😛

  11. Tunaro
    Tunaro
    April 8, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    I’ve decided to give up any last shred of hope for that guy no to Dan things up anymore, so I’m just gonna sit back and let this blow up spectacularly in his face as usual.
    Yes, Danny, lead yourself to your own ruin once again.

  12. SUGauthor
    SUGauthor
    April 8, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Danny really is trying.

    • Carlos
      Carlos
      April 8, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Trying so hard. So hard… you almost want to just tell him to quit.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      April 8, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      TO PISS ME OFF!

      • Tunaro
        Tunaro
        April 8, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        I don’t think he has to try to do that.

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          April 8, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

          He’s naturally gifted.

    • newllend
      newllend
      April 8, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      The harder he tries, the more he fucks up.

      • tinfoil theory
        tinfoil theory
        April 8, 2014 at 8:07 am | #

        The moral of the story is to never bother to even try.

        Wu-Wei.

    • John
      John
      April 8, 2014 at 1:19 am | #

      I certainly find him trying.

  13. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    April 8, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    She wants his charger to stick in her slot.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      April 8, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      I hear that if you blow it out first, its more likely to work when you put it in.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        April 8, 2014 at 2:28 pm | #

        You win teh internets today.

  14. March
    March
    April 8, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    All the ways this could go bad….all the ways…and Danny will inevitably find the worst one.

    • BlackIo
      BlackIo
      April 8, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Yeah, it’s not even a question of “will this go wrong”, but “how badly”.

      • kagato23
        kagato23
        April 8, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

        Ironically I can’t help but thing the way this could go badly might actually be to have a healthy friendship/realationship with her.

  15. Vile Gamer
    Vile Gamer
    April 8, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Hellooooooo lady <3

    • KingMabel
      KingMabel
      April 8, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

      He Yakko calm that down.

  16. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    April 8, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    And thus Danny found his superhero name.

    • newllend
      newllend
      April 8, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      You think she’s There to bug him about his DS charger?

    • Jay Eff
      Jay Eff
      April 8, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

      That’s not his superhero name.
      That’s his G.I. Joe name.

      He was gonna be “Hat Muffs,” but that codename was already taken…

  17. Triniking
    Triniking
    April 8, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Is Wonderbread Wonder Woman’s new form of transportation?

    ….

    Is Sal Wonder Woman?!?

    • Carlos
      Carlos
      April 8, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      That depends; would her motorcycle be cooler if it was invisible?

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        April 8, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        I mean ideally…but she’d look like she’s just kinda…squatting everywhere and so it’d lose a bit of it’s coolness.

        • Carlos
          Carlos
          April 8, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

          I see how that could present some… problems….

      • Ryune
        Ryune
        April 8, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        That depends on whether you find the image of Sal blasting down the street hovering in a seated position mid-air cool or hilarious.

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          April 8, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

          If anyone could make that look cool, it’d be Sal somehow.

          • Carlos
            Carlos
            April 8, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

            What would you know about cool? YOU WORE A STETSON!….. TWICE!

            • Mrimm
              Mrimm
              April 8, 2014 at 12:14 pm | #

              STETSONS ARE COOL.

      • Blue Dragon
        Blue Dragon
        April 8, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

        Cool isn’t the word that comes to mind.
        Watching Sal straddle an invisible motorcycle would be totally hot.

        I think I just broke the first rule of motorcyclin’.

    • Jay Eff
      Jay Eff
      April 8, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

      Is Sal Wonder Woman?!?

      Yes.

      Sal is Wonder Woman.

      • Estron
        Estron
        April 8, 2014 at 8:23 am | #

        I thought she was basically Batman.

        • Mrimm
          Mrimm
          April 8, 2014 at 12:15 pm | #

          Wonder Woman is basically Batman… but better.

          And, I mean, with superpowers. That’s kind of a big difference. And like, WAY less brooding.

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        April 8, 2014 at 4:31 pm | #

        Wonder Woman and Wonder Bread, HA!

  18. newllend
    newllend
    April 8, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Almost forgot been a while since I did this “Damn it Danny!”

  19. hack
    hack
    April 8, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    GOOD THINKIN’, DANNY!

    WONK-WONK.

  20. Seerow
    Seerow
    April 8, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Everyone already going on about Danny danning things up, when this is a situation that he literally has no way to know anything about.

    • Beefcube
      Beefcube
      April 8, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      I’m pretty sure Blaine could walk up and punch Dina in the face right now and people would find a way to blame Danny for it.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        April 8, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        I blame Danny for the war of 1812.

        • C.W. Roden
          C.W. Roden
          April 8, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

          No that was Bush’s fault….or maybe Obama’s?

        • Tenn
          Tenn
          April 8, 2014 at 3:27 pm | #

          I blame Danny for the Permian–Triassic extinction event.

      • Corronchilejano
        Corronchilejano
        April 8, 2014 at 6:17 pm | #

        If only Danny were more punchable then Blaine wouldn’t have needed to punch Dina.

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      April 8, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

      You say this like they have ever needed a reason to shit on Danny. They just do it to do it.

      • fit-to-freak
        fit-to-freak
        April 8, 2014 at 2:54 am | #

        I mean, lately? Kinda. In the beginning I think a big factor was the way his relationship with Dorothy went down.

        • tinfoil theory
          tinfoil theory
          April 8, 2014 at 6:41 am | #

          I think it was mostly how happy he was that Dotty needed to talk to him.
          People expected that him to be the clown whose entire purpose was to serve as punching bag.
          Turns out the bag has real feelings.

          • fit-to-freak
            fit-to-freak
            April 8, 2014 at 7:35 am | #

            I mean I didn’t like him because I thought he was dissimissive towards Dorothy and occasionally gave off a vibe of being sexist.

        • Tenn
          Tenn
          April 8, 2014 at 3:49 pm | #

          But in the beginning, Danny-shitting wasn’t a thing. It didn’t start until much later, for much sillier reasons.

    • Mrimm
      Mrimm
      April 8, 2014 at 12:16 pm | #

      I feel like that is the definition of Dannying something up. It’s his (often understandable) ignorance that causes most of his problems.

    • Sam
      Sam
      April 8, 2014 at 2:48 pm | #

      Well he should have a hint that talking to Sal might make things worse from the fact that Amber ran off the last time he was seen talking to her. He might not know the exact reason why, but there was still a hint that it bothered Amber for some reason.

  21. Hoboturtle
    Hoboturtle
    April 8, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    (Falls out of chair)

    …

    …

    …ha

  22. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    April 8, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    I hope he has tight pants on as a smile like that pretty much indicates a raging boner is forming.

    • KingMabel
      KingMabel
      April 8, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Anytime Sal or Ethan are in a strip someone has a boner forming.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        April 8, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

        Only Sal or Ethan? What about the others, don’t they tend to cause boners too?

        • David M Willis
          David M Willis
          April 8, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

          It seems only half right if the polls are accurate, anyhow.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            April 8, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

            Gotta love that Rule 34. 😀

  23. GoogerGeiger
    GoogerGeiger
    April 8, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    God damnit, Dan. You’re hard to love, but you’re harder to hate.

    • John
      John
      April 8, 2014 at 1:42 am | #

      I find him pretty easy to hate, really.

      • Silvester crow
        Silvester crow
        April 8, 2014 at 3:29 pm | #

        Obviously none of us hate Danny, because we actually care enough to mention when he dannys it up.

        • nothri
          nothri
          April 8, 2014 at 5:58 pm | #

          That would imply I really liked George Bush when he was in office, cause I sure as shit never let a moment pass when I could bongo about his latest screw up.

          • nothri
            nothri
            April 8, 2014 at 7:46 pm | #

            Not that I particularly dislike Danny. These days I get more upset with him the same way I get upset with that girl that goes down into the basement when she hears a noise. It isn’t really his fault because he doesn’t have a full grasp on the situation, but it doesn’t make it any less painful to watch the inevitable doom that falls upon him as a result of his ignorance.

  24. LiamAldam
    LiamAldam
    April 8, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    I began by shipping Danny with Ethan and I ended by shipping Danny with Sal. What’s wrong with me?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      April 8, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      You need to get over your job at UPS, clearly.

      • Keroshino
        Keroshino
        April 8, 2014 at 1:04 am | #

        Not before he is he gets shipped to Abu Dhabi.

    • Carlos
      Carlos
      April 8, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      You suffer from acute excessive-shipping-itis. Igor, prepare the tools… we’ll have to amputate.

  25. Dr. Zeus
    Dr. Zeus
    April 8, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Panel 2 “Dat ass gives me feelings that I find very confusing.”

    • tinfoil theory
      tinfoil theory
      April 8, 2014 at 8:13 am | #

      Yes, what is Ethan so happy about?

  26. Cthulhu's Intern
    Cthulhu's Intern
    April 8, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    Danny gonna dan.

    • newllend
      newllend
      April 8, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      Oh my goodness, oh my damn, he’s gonna dan

  27. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    April 8, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    Because Danny
    Your love skills sure are hammy
    And in bed
    You’re a wonderbread

  28. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    April 8, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    The Danny Horror Picture Show.

    It’s just pictures of Danny.

    • C.W. Roden
      C.W. Roden
      April 8, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      “It’s just a jump to the left…”

      • someguywithakatana
        someguywithakatana
        April 8, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        and then a truck hits you because you jumped into the street.

        • nothri
          nothri
          April 8, 2014 at 6:03 pm | #

          No, no, no. That guy completely screwed it up.

          Okay, people. Let’s do the timewarp AGAIN. From the top….

          • xKiv
            xKiv
            April 8, 2014 at 8:47 pm | #

            It’s just a jump to the *bed* …

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      April 8, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      It was great when it all began
      We were regular Danny fans
      But it was over when he had the Plan
      To remain an oblivious man

      • Anonymouse
        Anonymouse
        April 8, 2014 at 12:51 am | #

        +1 Fuckin’ Billion!

      • tinfoil theory
        tinfoil theory
        April 8, 2014 at 6:55 am | #

        He’s the only thing that gives us hope
        For a certain kind of dope.
        Dumb is our age,
        Keeps us safe from trouble and pain.

  29. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    April 8, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Jiminy Krispies! I suppose Danny will run into Faz next?

    Mike seems a more likely opinion though – and very beneficial for Danny’s sake.

    • Glacirus
      Glacirus
      April 8, 2014 at 2:11 am | #

      Danny needs Mike hovering behind him 24/7. It will solve every problem. Mike would be Kato to Danny’s (horribly more inept) Green Hornet.

  30. GlitchMeBaby
    GlitchMeBaby
    April 8, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    “I’m gonna do what I can to avoid fucking up!”
    Oh Danny, the road to the doghouse is paved with good intentions.

  31. C.W. Roden
    C.W. Roden
    April 8, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    Wow Danny-boy, you’re really batting a thousand.
    On the plus side we’ll get to see another epic ass-kicking soon….and this one might not be as one-sided. I think Sal could hold her own and dish it out.

  32. shoeboxjeddy
    shoeboxjeddy
    April 8, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    Don’t care about Amber’s feelings on this one, I find this relationship (thing) amusing/interesting.

  33. someguywithakatana
    someguywithakatana
    April 8, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

    And… that’s another prediction that seems to be coming true…

    I AM NOT READY FOR THE RESPONSIBILITIES THAT COME WITH THIS POWER!!!

  34. IAmDeltaS
    IAmDeltaS
    April 8, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

    I almost feel sorry for Danny. He’s trying, and yet he STILL Dans it up. It’s like it’s his special talent or something.
    Hmm…what would a cutie mark for screwing up all the time look like?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      April 8, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      An upsidedown corkscrew perhaps?

      • No Name
        No Name
        April 8, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

        Which way is upside down?

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          April 8, 2014 at 12:47 am | #

          It pointing up.

        • nothri
          nothri
          April 8, 2014 at 6:05 pm | #

          Wherever the enemy gate is.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      April 8, 2014 at 1:30 am | #

      Danny is always trying to do the right thing. Unfortunately for him the sitcom gods cursed him at birth so that no matter what the heck he does, no matter what the heck he intends, it will always blow up in his face in the most spectacular way possible, entirely because he has a lousy view of scenes he’s not in.

      • fit-to-freak
        fit-to-freak
        April 8, 2014 at 3:03 am | #

        Yeah, he’s not though. You’re right about him having bad luck.

  35. Vin
    Vin
    April 8, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

    What’s the worst that could happen?

    • Leonou
      Leonou
      April 8, 2014 at 4:13 am | #

      He becomes great friend with Sal, and then presents her to Amber because “meeting new people will do her good”.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      April 8, 2014 at 2:31 pm | #

      Amber walks in Danny and Sal fucking.

      • Leonou
        Leonou
        April 8, 2014 at 4:23 pm | #

        Is that after or before Dina admits Amber being Amazi-Girl in Dorothy’s article ?

    • nothri
      nothri
      April 8, 2014 at 6:13 pm | #

      Amber sees them together, breaks under the pressure, and devotes herself to becoming a super villain/terrorist. Four years later president Dorothy’s term is cut short when a small parcel of uranium is detonated in front of the white house, sparking a nuclear war that destroys civilization as we know it.

      You said “worst”, not “most likely worst” case scenario, right?

  36. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    April 8, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

    If Danny is wonderbread, what does that make Sal? Pumpernicke?

    • TPman
      TPman
      April 8, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

      Not sure, but Mike’s sourdough.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        April 8, 2014 at 1:12 am | #

        Mike pumps ‘er for a nickel.

        Who gets to be challah? That stuff is delicious.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          April 8, 2014 at 4:08 am | #

          I don’t think I have seen challah(braided bread) before in the bakeries over here in Oz.

  37. Rani
    Rani
    April 8, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

    The regiment’s in ‘ollow square-they’re hangin’ him to-day;
    They’ve taken of his buttons off an’ cut his stripes away,
    An’ they’re hangin’ Danny Deever in the mornin’.

  38. Carlos
    Carlos
    April 8, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

    I used to connected to Danny as a character because I had a Danny of my own running around my school…. but then my Danny got a girlfriend and part of a clue so now I have simple apathy. Go ahead Danny, screw up. Make my day.

  39. newllend
    newllend
    April 8, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

    So what is Danny just going keep bringing the world to Amber’s door step? like problem after problem because if this is how it going and Amber is still trieing to make it work then she really is a super hero.

    • Carlos
      Carlos
      April 8, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

      I think it’s kind of funny. It’s like, through his clueless (though who could fault him with Sal, how could anyone possibly know about that stuff.) he is systematically forcing her to deal with her repressed problems. Granted, her method is somewhat… violent. But she’s finally confronting these issues that have plagued her for so long.

      • newllend
        newllend
        April 8, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

        Amber: “Baby, you and your stupidity driven calamities are all the Therapy I need.”

  40. nothri
    nothri
    April 8, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

    Danny as Godzilla: Oh wow, is this a city I have wandered into?

    • tinfoil theory
      tinfoil theory
      April 8, 2014 at 7:03 am | #

      It’s Goggalor!

  41. Lanval
    Lanval
    April 8, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

    Aaaaaaaand today I found out I share a nickname with Danny. Great.

    • Bill
      Bill
      April 8, 2014 at 1:49 am | #

      I’d rather find out how and why you got the nickname in the first place.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        April 8, 2014 at 2:33 pm | #

        Perhaps he/she can stay out in the sun all week and remain pale and fresh?

  42. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    April 8, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

    oh man.

    And “Wonderbread” sounds like the perfect nickname for Danny:p

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      April 8, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

      Well Joyce is pretty much whitebread so…

    • TPman
      TPman
      April 8, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

      Naw, Amazigirl’s Wonderbread. Danny’s just bread.

  43. nothri
    nothri
    April 8, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

    Wonderbread, what is the secret of your power?
    Wonderbread, can you take me far away from all the mucky-muck?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      April 8, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

      Now it’s time for me to tell you about Young NastySal.

      • nothri
        nothri
        April 8, 2014 at 12:45 am | #

        (Mongoose, you brilliant face-changing madwoman, you that was perfect!)

        Young NastySal, arch rival and Mario Kart player to Wonderbread, with powers comparable to those of Wonderbread!

        (No, its true. Danny has the power of being oblivious, and it is completely on par with Sal’s ability to look cool.)

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          April 8, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

          I have my moments. ^_^

          Remember the line “the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away… with mind bullets”? thanks to the effect of mondegreen, I originally thought the lyrics were “the power to kill a cat from 200 yards away… with my voice”.

          • nothri
            nothri
            April 8, 2014 at 1:27 am | #

            Not gonna lie, that sounds pretty badass. But then, Banshee from the X-Men was like my favorite. Him and Nightcrawler.

  44. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    April 8, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

    Yay, Danny story!

  45. Keroshino
    Keroshino
    April 8, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

    Swing and a miss, Danny!

  46. Darth Cariss
    Darth Cariss
    April 8, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

    All Danny-luck aside, I don’t really understand Sal’s greeting here. Is it a reference to something?

    • Dr. Zeus
      Dr. Zeus
      April 8, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

      It’s not a greeting it’s a demand.

    • Sam
      Sam
      April 8, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

      someone’ll probably beat me to it, but it’s just a (slightly) derogatory term for white people. cause bread be white

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      April 8, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

      IIRC, wonderbread is a slang term for a particularly bland white person.

    • John
      John
      April 8, 2014 at 1:47 am | #

      Wonder Bread is the whitest of white bread.

      • Darth Cariss
        Darth Cariss
        April 8, 2014 at 5:25 am | #

        So it’s a racial thing. Okay, thanks.

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          April 8, 2014 at 3:59 pm | #

          Sal picked out the “Wonderbread” nickname the previous time they met.

          She prefers nicknames, it seems.

          • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
            Gadgeteer Smashwidget
            April 8, 2014 at 9:11 pm | #

            Can I call you link kitty?

  47. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    April 8, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

    Amazing. He’s like ‘let’s stay away from people Amber knows’ and then boom, he runs into the one person who gives Amber red-tinted war flashbacks. Absolutely perfect. Especially because he has no clue. One of the most Danny things Danny has ever done. Hilarious omg.

  48. arank11
    arank11
    April 8, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

    Willis, why do you torture Amber so much?!? She’s already had an abusive dad, but now her ex-boyfriend who found out he was gay with her is dating Joyce and her kinda-boyfriend is striking up a conversation with her arch-nemesis who used to date him in the Walkyverse so there’s no-doubt some leftover romantic tension from that (Granted, Danny and Billy got married in the Walkyverse, and Danny more or less rejected her a few storylines ago) and who she already saw bonding with him over Mario Kart!!!! The thing that they spent playing on their first sorta-date!!!!!!!!! And OF COURSE she’s going to walk in on them in a few minutes, because that’s how your evil yet brilliant mind works! The one thing that could possibly be the cherry on top of your demented sundae of sorrow is if Dorothy walks in, sees Amber when she enters (Which will no-doubt happen) and realizes that Amber’s Amazi-girl! When will Amber’s suffering end, man?

  49. Bilfred
    Bilfred
    April 8, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

    Sal: “Who are you talking to?”

  50. indignostudios
    indignostudios
    April 8, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

    I never really understood why it’s cool to Danny hate when Joyce fucks up on a relatively equal level of naiivete. I also don’t understand why I hate Danny so much more than Joyce, myself.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      April 8, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

      Joyce has an overly sheltered fundie background which she is slowly overcoming, Danny doesn’t have anywhere near the same excuse.

      • Kevin
        Kevin
        April 8, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

        Keep in mind Danny isn’t fucking up here; yet again, he doesn’t have all the information.

        • John
          John
          April 8, 2014 at 1:51 am | #

          “Last time Amber saw me talking to this chick, she freaked out and ran away in tears,” seems like plenty enough information to me.

          • John
            John
            April 8, 2014 at 2:27 am | #

            Oh, and given how he treated Amber out of “loyalty to Amazi-Girl”, Danny has no fuckin’ excuse to be looking that pleased to see Sal.

            Sal short-circuiting what passes for Danny’s brain is an inter-universal constant, too, it seems.

            • Mrimm
              Mrimm
              April 8, 2014 at 12:47 pm | #

              From the outside, I don’t think the cause of Amber’s freak out would have been very clear. Those are pretty unclear dots to expect Danny to connect.

              And last time he saw Sal, he thought he was meeting his girlfriend without the mask for the first time. Give him a second to recalibrate. (Also, it wasn’t attraction to Amber that caused him to push it away. He didn’t do that until Amber started acting on it in a way that, from his perspective, was pointlessly manipulative.)

              • John
                John
                April 8, 2014 at 7:39 pm | #

                I don’t expect him to figure out the actual reason that Amber freaked out upon seeing him with Sal. He’s got none of the information he needs to even begin to do that. But he does know that Amber did freak out, and the obvious assumptions he should be making about the reasons, especially now that he knows that Amber is Amazi-Girl and Sal isn’t, while they won’t lead him to the reason that Sal is the worst possible hot girl for him to be hanging with, are probably not even entirely wrong.

                (And consider this strip. I’m reading between the lines a little, but I’m seeing it as Danny confessing that he is actually very attracted to Amber, but that his feelings for her scare him. So he pushes her away so he can run back to the fantasy version of her, who is exciting but in fantasy ways, not real and scary.)

          • fit-to-freak
            fit-to-freak
            April 8, 2014 at 3:11 am | #

            I dunno, I looked through those strips and I gotta say I wouldn’t blame Danny for not realizing Sal was the one who freaked her out/why. Amber was crying, saw them, and ran away. For all he knows she was embarrassed to cry in front of him, or didn’t want to see him. Or was already crying and running, and only stopped for a moment when she saw him.

          • Tenn
            Tenn
            April 8, 2014 at 4:20 pm | #

            @John: “Last time Amber saw me talking to this chick, she freaked out and ran away in tears,” seems like plenty enough information to me.

            It could have been enough information if it had actually been presented to him like that.

            Oh, and given how he treated Amber out of “loyalty to Amazi-Girl”, Danny has no fuckin’ excuse to be looking that pleased to see Sal.

            You mean, apart from believing she doesn’t belong to the group “people Amber knows”?

            • John
              John
              April 8, 2014 at 6:59 pm | #

              What do you mean “presented to him”? Amber came into the room where Danny was talking to Sal, saw them, and turned around and ran off crying. That’s what happened. Danny saw it. Are you saying Danny needs a narrator to explain the events of his life to him? To point out that maybe hanging out with a hot chick after rejecting his girlfriend due to mistaken identity and not actually clarifying what their current relationship status is might be a bad idea if he actually gives a shit about his erstwhile girlfriend?

              And there’s, “Oh look a stranger I can talk to who doesn’t have anything to do with any of Amber’s problems,” and then there’s, “Why hello hot girl! It’s a DS charger in my pocket and I’m happy to see you!” Maybe it’s just that he’s pleased to discover that maybe there’s a chance that he’ll get his DS back, but I officially gave up on ever giving him any benefit of the doubt about three idiot moves ago, because that way he can’t disappoint me again.

              • Kevin
                Kevin
                April 9, 2014 at 1:15 am | #

                Are you for real? If you get into a fight with your girlfriend, you aren’t allowed to even talk to another woman until everything is straightened out? That’s not healthy.

              • Tenn
                Tenn
                April 9, 2014 at 6:01 pm | #

                *sigh*

                I really have to spell this out?

                Yes, Danny was talking to Sal when Amber ran away crying. It doesn’t logically follow that Sal must be the reason Amber ran away crying. Correlation does not equal causation.

                We know Sal was the reason. Danny does not, and he has no reason to suspect it. Because as far as he was aware, Amber already had a perfectly good reason to run away crying: he friend-dumped her. And as far as he’s aware now, she had another perfectly good reason: her asshole father was harassing her. Finally, upon seeing Amber running away crying, Sal showed no signs of recognizing her.

                Adding all this together, any sane person in Danny’s situation would assume that Sal is not someone Amber knows. If they did assume she was, they might as well assume that everyone in frickin’ Indiana was.

                • John
                  John
                  April 9, 2014 at 11:38 pm | #

                  Apparently I have to spell this out, too, because both you and Kevin seem bound and determined to miss it:

                  AMBER’S HISTORY WITH SAL DOES NOT MATTER.

                  Hence, Danny’s inability to intuit it from wildly insufficient information, which I’ve already agreed to be the case, also DOES NOT MATTER.

                  The events here, from Danny’s perspective, are:
                  The girl that he now knows was his girlfriend, who he the previous day told to get out of his life, enters the room in distress. She sees Danny flirting (and don’t even try to tell me that’s not what he was doing) with a hot girl (who he thought was her, but now knows was not), stops in obvious shock, and then turns around and runs away crying.

                  Danny has no way of knowing that Amber and Sal have prior history. He has no way of knowing what went down in the cafeteria just before this. That being the case, the obvious explanation for him to arrive at for this course of events is that Amber – who, again, he now knows is Amazi-Girl, allegedly his girlfriend – is upset because she saw him flirting with another girl after rejecting her.

                  (And, as I said above, while this explanation doesn’t touch on the reason that Sal’s the worst possible other girl for Danny to be flirting with, it’s probably not even wrong, as far as it goes.)

                  And given that Amber and Danny’s relationship status is still hanging unresolved, with that rejection still in the air, and Danny not even showing any awareness that maybe it’s something that he should fucking apologize for, going back and doing again what is, as far as he can tell, the very thing that set off Amber’s freakout, qualifies as a serious dick move.

          • Kevin
            Kevin
            April 8, 2014 at 5:05 pm | #

            There is no reason to assume Amber has a secret dark history with Sal from that strip. I think you’re taking the Danny hate a little too far here.

            • John
              John
              April 8, 2014 at 7:15 pm | #

              And there’s no reason that Danny needs to know that to figure out that maybe he shouldn’t be hanging out with Sal while the situation with Amber is unresolved. The stuff he does know should lead him to that conclusion if he gave it any thought. The reasons might be wrong, but the answer works out the same.

              • Kevin
                Kevin
                April 9, 2014 at 1:11 am | #

                No, honestly, that conclusion is ridiculous. “Amber was crying while I was near Sal, I better never talk to Sal again”. Also, he needs his DS back.

      • indignostudios
        indignostudios
        April 8, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

        Joyce has been sheltered from human nature and different beliefs do to a religious upbringing and the absence of relationships. I think it’s fair to say that Danny has been sheltered from realistic relationship expectations due to spending 3 of the most vital years of adolescence in a relationship where he was strung along by a girl who wasn’t as serious as he was.

        Although it is also fair to point out that Danny had ignored his own ambitions in order to coast off of the success of Dorothy. He’s not completely blameless, but Dorothy did enable him.

        • nothri
          nothri
          April 8, 2014 at 1:29 am | #

          Danny looks nowhere near as adorable in a hoody.

        • Joe
          Joe
          April 8, 2014 at 9:32 am | #

          Yeah, except Dorothy wasn’t stringing him along or enabling him. She was perfectly clear about her intentions and actively discouraged him from trying to follow her through college. In that particular case, he not only plugged his ears and went “LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU LALALA”, he dismissed her aspirations as lofty pipe dreams.

          Meanwhile we have Joyce, who, though growing up in a very sheltered home, is actively trying to learn more about the world around her and grow out of her naivete. And when she DOES fuck up badly, the comment section does often turn against her (See: the whole “encouraging a gay man to repress his sexual urges” thing).

          That all said, no, Danny doesn’t deserve some of the hate he’s getting for this strip in particular. He *could have* pieced together that Sal + Amber = Very Bad from Amber running away crying, but he could have just as easily figured that Amber didn’t want him to see her breaking down.

    • TPman
      TPman
      April 8, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

      To me, Joyce represents a foreign, incomprehensible form of fuck-uppery. Unable to understand, I just default to sympathetic mode.
      Danny’s fuck ups however, are entirely relateable, and serve as a perfect outlet for my own self-loathing.

      Actually, now that I think about it, it might be because Joyce’s naivety was foisted on her by an outside force (her church) while Danny’s naivety is all him. Nobody victimized him, so instead of a victim we see him as a buffoon.

    • No Name
      No Name
      April 8, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

      Because Joyce is written in an endearing way while Danny is not.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      April 8, 2014 at 1:35 am | #

      All of the above, plus Joyce has tits. As best I can tell every single female in this comic gets more leeway from the fanbase for their errors and misdeeds than any of the males do.

      • Deathjavu
        Deathjavu
        April 8, 2014 at 2:31 am | #

        “As best I can tell”

        Let’s count the number of assumptions in this sentence!

        1, the assumption that any of the female characters have exactly equivalent flaws to the males. Not one does. Closest I can think is Joe/Roz, and there’s still a pretty wide gap there.

        2, the assumption that this opinion is based on representative samples of the fanbase.

        3, the unstated assumption that this forgiveness is due to lust (see also, ‘Joyce has tits’).

        4, the assumption that the majority of the fanbase is straight males or gay females, who might feel lust for the female characters.

        5, the assumption that this portion of the fanbase is almost entirely comprised of the type of people who are completely unable to observe characters or people who fall into their orientation’s attraction without a) being attracted to them and b) being so attracted that it makes them completely incapable of noticing their flaws.

        (For the record, that’s the creepiest assumption of the lot)

        But sure. “As best I can tell”. Never mind the people who hated Ruth, or Roz, or Dorothy, and definitely don’t think about the fact that there’s just straight up more women in the comic than dudes, by number.

        • tinfoil theory
          tinfoil theory
          April 8, 2014 at 7:38 am | #

          I think this list of assumptions says a lot about you.

          1. Danny and Joyce were explicitly mentioned as comparable, yet only Joe and Roz come to mind, who are not exactly known for their fuck-uppage. Only Joe has been made a verb, and, unlike Danny, not one with negative connotations, yet you describe Joe and Roz as similarly flawed.

          2. The available sample size of the fan base does not allow for great confidence, which is explicitly stated in begbert2’s comment. Where you get the assumtion from the observation is based on a representative sample size, despite the disclaimer, is anyone’s guess.

          3. That is very much an assumption on your part.

          4. I cannot fathom where you drag that assumption from.

          5. Nowhere is it stated that only people who are sexually attracted to women would give women greater license, nor that said attraction would be a reason to.

          And the fact that there are more female characters should make it more likely that a woman is not only the most liked character, but also the most hated. Interestingly you don’t mention the least popular female character, Mary, in your enumeration, who does not receive as much hate as Danny, or Blaine. Can you think of a good way to quantify the hate towards each character among the fans?

          • Deathjavu
            Deathjavu
            April 8, 2014 at 8:10 am | #

            1, begbert specifically said “every female character”. Not just Danny/Joyce.

            2, “the fanbase” implies, at very least, most of the people who read the comic, if not all. If there’s another meaning for “the fanbase” that isn’t the literal one, please inform me.

            3, is there another reason for specifically mentioning tits over, I don’t know, literally any other female traits, or just the fact that Joyce is female? The only way this specifically makes sense is as a sexualized statement.

            4 follows from 3

            5 follows from 4 and 3.

            Mary doesn’t receive as much hate as Blaine because Blaine is demonstrably a worse person, with a larger role in the comic overall thus far. The two people are not equivalent. I’ve never seen anyone defending Mary, however, and Danny seems to have at least 4-5 defenders in this specific comments alone.

            And your last sentence epitomizes exactly why I think the original statement was so farcical to begin with. There is no method even remotely accurate for quantifying character hate among the fanbase, so assuming that “every single female in this comic gets more leeway from the fanbase for their errors and misdeeds than any of the males do” is a non-disprovable assumption.

            It’s not even wrong.

            • tinfoil theory
              tinfoil theory
              April 8, 2014 at 8:41 am | #

              1. Yes, that is true. No need for comparable characters at all. Yet you felt the need to mention them.
              2. I agree with your definition of fanbase. From which follows that no statement about the fanbase’s opinions in general can be made with certainty.
              3. Tits are a secondary sexual characteristic, that, unlike a beard, cannot easily be removed.
              4. is not a separate assumption from 3, and does not warrant its own enumeration point. It is still your own assumption that any mention of unambiguous characteristics is necessarily about lust.
              5. It does not follow, it is a sufficient condition for your own conjectures.

              You have a point that begbert2’s statement that “every single female gets more leeway […] than any of the males” is at best pure hyperbole that, despite your own assertion that it is a non-disprovable assumption, you have disproven. I maintain, though, that you have an odd way of calling bullshit.

              • Deathjavu
                Deathjavu
                April 8, 2014 at 9:12 am | #

                My point on 1 was that I don’t really think any of the male or female characters can be compared terribly well, because they’re all different. I don’t particularly see many similarities between Danny and Joyce. He’s a constantly worrying/overthinking dude whose parents don’t believe in him, has bad luck and a minor tendency for self-delusion. She’s a constantly upbeat girl who’s super nice, but the hateful and inaccurate things she’s been taught keep running into real life. Maybe the females are given more sympathy, but even if it’s true it wouldn’t necessarily be because of tits. It could be because their backgrounds are, collectively, more sympathetic.

                Female tits are very much a sexualized secondary sex characteristic. I don’t particularly think it makes a ton of sense, but there’s no honest way of denying it’s a thing.

                I didn’t really disprove begbert’s statement, frankly. It could be true! But it’s not really a question that could be answered with any accuracy. You’d need a pretty complex poll to ascertain that it was actually ‘all ladies’, and a frankly magic poll to ascertain that it was because of ‘tits’.

                • Bilfred
                  Bilfred
                  April 8, 2014 at 10:16 am | #

                  INTERNET ARGUMENT

                • begbert2
                  begbert2
                  April 8, 2014 at 3:53 pm | #

                  Well. I suppose I should say something.

                  Firstly, tits are a secondary sexual characteristic, that, unlike a beard, cannot easily be removed. Also I like to cultivate a somewhat crass image out here on the interweb. Regardless it’s clear that not all forgiveness for the females is driven by lust; for Joyce it’s clearly her cuteness and (most-of-the-time) friendliness that earns her a free ride. But regardless, it seems that the female characters of this comic are more easily forgiven of their misdeeds than the males.

                  By points:
                  1) I never said or implied that all misdeeds are equivalent or demand the same responses. That’s idiotic. Nonetheless the relative responses of each persons actions and reception can be assessed, and the relative ‘fairness’ ratings are then on the same scale and can be compared.

                  2) I do not make my assessments based on people who lurk and don’t comment. Obviously. I base my assessments on the comments. Made by people who comment. Individuals who comment a lot naturally have a larger impact on the tone of the comment section than people who comment little or not at all, naturally enough.

                  3) As noted, it’s not necessarily about lust – though the breasts of the female characters and the ships between them do get mentioned a lot around here. I don’t know the specific cause or causes. I merely note the effect. (Though I do concede I implied a correlation – that being female buys the characters slack. This sort of thing is observed in other audiences and fanbases as well; it’s a common double-standard.)

                  4) By your own words, since your assumption 3 was wrong this is baseless.

                  5) By your own words, since your assumptions 3 and 4 were wrong this is baseless. Any creepiness present in it is of your own insertion.

                  In writing this, I definitely thought about the fact that the comic has about four times as many female characters as males. I also considered the fact that many of them haven’t done anything they might be faulted for, at least on camera. It’s also worth noting that the two true “villians” of this comic so far -Blaine and Whatsisname from the party- are both male, and rightly hated. Also I concede that there are some male characters that are almost entirely comedic in nature: Faz, Mike. These people also get out relatively unscathed, almost certainly because they’re funny.

                  But since this really has shoved a bug up your ass, I’ll rephrase my apparently all-important thesis. “Of the characters who have participated in drama in this comic, by and large the males get more and longer lasting condemnation from the noticeable fanbase for their acts than the females do. God knows why.”

                  Whether or not this thesis gets me declared “creepy” (again), I leave to another massive debate to decide.

                • nothri
                  nothri
                  April 8, 2014 at 7:53 pm | #

                  I am terribly afraid that all of you have made the grave tactical error of taking all of preceding comments as far more serious and far less tongue in cheek than they are intended.

      • fit-to-freak
        fit-to-freak
        April 8, 2014 at 2:56 am | #

        uggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
        ……
        ughhhhhhhhhhh

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          April 8, 2014 at 3:55 pm | #

          After the massive argument above, I agree with you.

          • indignostudios
            indignostudios
            April 8, 2014 at 11:43 pm | #

            I don’t think I’ve ever kicked off such an intense argument with two drunken posts before.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          April 9, 2014 at 1:09 pm | #

          Ack, attack of the walls of text! Run! Run for your lives!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      April 8, 2014 at 9:22 am | #

      Oh, I hate Joyce too.

      • newllend
        newllend
        April 9, 2014 at 12:48 am | #

        HATE!

  51. Well_Played
    Well_Played
    April 8, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

    Ah Danny… The original bad luck Brian

    • nothri
      nothri
      April 8, 2014 at 7:12 pm | #

      Wouldn’t “Bad Luck Brian” be the original bad luck brian?

  52. Hoodiecrow
    Hoodiecrow
    April 8, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

    (re tooltip) No writer hath greater fury than the one who once createdeth a goody two-shoes self-avatar and hath since developedeth way past that point, while findingth that the character in question couldn’t. Th.

  53. Anderhail
    Anderhail
    April 8, 2014 at 12:36 am | #

    Wheeew… I really needed that laugh. Thank you very much!

  54. Megasteve
    Megasteve
    April 8, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

    I love how he attains self awareness just long enough to drive home just how daningly he dans at daning.

  55. Spliced
    Spliced
    April 8, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

    I just realized:

    Sal’s been getting it on fairly regularly now with a man she considers “a nerdy math teacher”.

    Given that, do you think this Danny/Sal ship could work?

    • fit-to-freak
      fit-to-freak
      April 8, 2014 at 3:12 am | #

      I’m pretty sure they only hooked up once, right?

      • Leonou
        Leonou
        April 8, 2014 at 4:26 am | #

        Twice in fact.
        First when Jason was tutoring her
        Then after a Math lecture, when they performed the second most epic of hatefucks.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        April 8, 2014 at 10:17 am | #

        At least twice in-comic. Probably more off-screen.

    • Mrimm
      Mrimm
      April 8, 2014 at 12:53 pm | #

      I feel like Jason has an edge to him that Danny does not. Jason’s a pretty snarky bastard.
      On a meta-level, I’m pretty sure we’re not going to see many Walkyverse relationships get rehashed.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        April 8, 2014 at 3:57 pm | #

        Jason also has a British accent AND a bow tie. I have it on good authority this makes a man sexually irresistible.

        • Mrimm
          Mrimm
          April 8, 2014 at 6:48 pm | #

          It is a truth universally acknowledged.

        • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
          Gadgeteer Smashwidget
          April 8, 2014 at 9:32 pm | #

          But he doesn’t have a fez. Check and mate.

  56. Deathjavu
    Deathjavu
    April 8, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

    Ahh. Really. Danny’s abilities to make things worse are just uncanny.

    I assume this http://dumbingofage.tumblr.com/image/75941282710 is soon to follow as part of some convoluted plan of Danny’s, one that is 999% guaranteed to backfire. And that doesn’t even make mathematical sense.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      April 8, 2014 at 12:57 am | #

      WHAT A TWEEST!

  57. newllend
    newllend
    April 8, 2014 at 12:48 am | #

    Hey Arnold had Eugene, Ed Edd n Eddy had Jonny, Even Disney had Goofy and now DoA’s own Danny know joins the Hall of fame of fictional character screw ups.

    “Dannying things up” is starting to become a meme now , hope your proud Willis.

  58. Tomas
    Tomas
    April 8, 2014 at 12:50 am | #

    Danny Does a Horror Show.
    Coming soon to Slipshine.

  59. Kladeos
    Kladeos
    April 8, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

    Saaaaal.

    • Kladeos
      Kladeos
      April 8, 2014 at 12:54 am | #

      “Hand over the charger for your whatchamacallit.”

  60. KingMabel
    KingMabel
    April 8, 2014 at 1:00 am | #

    Just noticed that sexiest female and least-sexy male are on the panel.

    Talk about a “how’d-me”

    • John
      John
      April 8, 2014 at 1:54 am | #

      Sal isn’t Billie, and Danny isn’t Buckets of Blood Guy.

      • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
        Gadgeteer Smashwidget
        April 8, 2014 at 9:34 pm | #

        Billie is sexy on an objective level. She has curves.

        Danny isn’t Blaine.

  61. GhostWriterL
    GhostWriterL
    April 8, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

    Uh oh, looks like Danny is going to interact with someone that he’s just magically supposed to know has a history with someone else he knows, of which is traumatic and completely not good, and he’s gonna “Danny-up everything” because he opted to interact with this person because he doesn’t know about said history or the fact that him interacting with said person will make other person upset in some way.

    Stupid Danny not being omnipotent and knowing absolutely everything about everyone. What a terrible character! Burn him in the ceramics class kiln!

    • TPman
      TPman
      April 8, 2014 at 1:19 am | #

      It wouldn’t be so bad, but this is not the first time Danny has not been omniscient. His lack of god-like foreknowledge I could forgive once, but not twice.

  62. dskillz
    dskillz
    April 8, 2014 at 1:13 am | #

    Yeah I love it when these two interact in this universe.

  63. Ikaru
    Ikaru
    April 8, 2014 at 1:33 am | #

    Danny! Stop doing you! ><

  64. David
    David
    April 8, 2014 at 1:34 am | #

    Dandandandan! Ominous.

  65. begbert2
    begbert2
    April 8, 2014 at 1:36 am | #

    Whitebread, huh? Maybe I’m being sensitive, but it seems like Sal has race on the brain.

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      April 8, 2014 at 1:37 am | #

      Sal didn’t say “white.” You did.

      So, um.

      • Zababcd
        Zababcd
        April 8, 2014 at 3:07 am | #

        On the internet that comes across as an accusation of racism, so just to be clear, it’s understandable to expect evidence that Sal would have race on the brain, since she’s been dealing with issues relating to racial identity recently.

        And Mario Kart ‘racing’…

        • Hotsauce
          Hotsauce
          April 8, 2014 at 2:17 pm | #

          Perhaps to you. I’ve been on the internet since its inception, and there, like in real life, “wonder bread” (and white bread too, actually), means inoffensive to all, but not terribly appealing either.

        • newllend
          newllend
          April 8, 2014 at 8:17 pm | #

          When you post something on the interenet your pretty much talking to the intire world so even the smallest thing you say could offend anybody.

          • xKiv
            xKiv
            April 8, 2014 at 9:33 pm | #

            For values of “could” that include “will”.

      • Gold
        Gold
        April 8, 2014 at 12:49 pm | #

        Wonderbread(s) is a popular white-pejorative in the same vein as cracker or ghost. I’ve heard it a few times now. And I assume Sal has race on the brain because that’s pretty much the defining character flaw you’ve presented us, Willis.

        • Mrimm
          Mrimm
          April 8, 2014 at 12:58 pm | #

          I’m not sure having race on the brain is a character FLAW. Issues of race have directly impacted Sal and her life for years. Why wouldn’t she be a bit more aware of it?

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            April 8, 2014 at 2:41 pm | #

            Man, I WISH I could stop being more aware of it. I was so happy then.

        • David M Willis
          David M Willis
          April 8, 2014 at 1:03 pm | #

          Character flaw, huh?

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        April 8, 2014 at 3:59 pm | #

        I misspoke, partially influenced by the conversation above. I considered posting a hasty correction but seriously, what difference does it make? Wonder Bread is white bread.

        And I do hope you’re not trying to imply that Sal does NOT have race on the brain.

        • David M Willis
          David M Willis
          April 8, 2014 at 5:45 pm | #

          Character flaw, huh?

          • begbert2
            begbert2
            April 8, 2014 at 8:31 pm | #

            Did I say that being sensitive to race is a character flaw? Did I? I mean, I thought I was merely noting that in a single word Sal can re-establish that she’s still burned over her racial experiences that that it’s a somewhat notable part of her character and which apparently is going to color her interactions with Danny despite him not even being a relative. But hey, if you think that I was jumping down her throat and announcing that the only good characters are boring ones without personality, then you must be right.

            • hoovy_woopeans
              hoovy_woopeans
              April 8, 2014 at 8:47 pm | #

              I think Willis was responding to a comment above yours and accidentally responded to yours by mistake…

              • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
                Gadgeteer Smashwidget
                April 8, 2014 at 9:37 pm | #

                No, he responded to that one 5 hours before. He’s just trolling now.

            • David M Willis
              David M Willis
              April 8, 2014 at 9:36 pm | #

              If you’re not jumping down her throat, I’d use way less loaded terminology.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      April 8, 2014 at 1:44 am | #

      Whitebread, huh? Maybe I’m being sensitive, but it seems like bebert2 has race on the brain.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        April 8, 2014 at 4:00 pm | #

        “bebert2”, huh? Maybe I’m being sensitive, but it seems like you type just as hastily and without-textual-review as I do.

        • The Candyman
          The Candyman
          April 8, 2014 at 5:01 pm | #

          Dude, Yotomoe misplaced one letter. That’s kinda different.

          • begbert2
            begbert2
            April 8, 2014 at 8:34 pm | #

            Dude, I fucking mistyped. I’m one of those people cursed with a brain that runs ahead of both my mouth and my fingers, leaving them to try to fumble around and catch up. I CONSTANTLY swap words and names around. I am going to be the guy who, if he ever has kids, always always always calls them by each others’ names instead of their own. (You know, like my dad does.)

            But sure, yes, the fact that I constantly call “Julie” “Amy” and “ITT” “Telerik” means that I’m a closet racist. You people on the internet know me that well and must be right.

            • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
              Gadgeteer Smashwidget
              April 8, 2014 at 9:38 pm | #

              Bro, just calm down… No one with a Joyce Gravatar should be that wound up.

            • Yotomoe
              Yotomoe
              April 8, 2014 at 10:00 pm | #

              In Begbert’s defense, I DO do that too.

  66. EvergreenFir
    EvergreenFir
    April 8, 2014 at 1:43 am | #

    Damnit Willis…
    >Danny figures shit out
    >Danny tries to make things right, or at least not worse
    >Danny interacts with one person that make things a whole lot worse

    • Cheryl
      Cheryl
      April 8, 2014 at 1:58 am | #

      >Danny loses all HP
      >Danny has fainted.

      • Glacirus
        Glacirus
        April 8, 2014 at 2:14 am | #

        Nuzlocke rules! Danny can not revive, must be released to wild, never to be seen again!

        • Flipz
          Flipz
          April 8, 2014 at 3:25 am | #

          TPP releases AbbyK and Jay Leno instead.

    • Hotsauce
      Hotsauce
      April 8, 2014 at 2:18 pm | #

      Largely because of Amber continuing her policy of not telling people things, I will note.

  67. StClair
    StClair
    April 8, 2014 at 2:04 am | #

    “There was me, Danny, and my droogs…”

  68. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    April 8, 2014 at 2:21 am | #

    Danny takes entirely too much shit from the chat…he is a bit of a bonehead, but no way he’s all that bad. He is just a normal collage student a bit more unaware of his world and the goings on around him. He self involved and clueless. But he is not bad.
    And recently he has been showing signs of turning into a person.

    Dorothy did not “enable’ him, how in Hell do you enable someone to be your boyfriend?

    Enabling is, in my opinion, just another way of blaming someone else for your own shortcomings. Seems pretty popular in our society today, be sure to blame someone else for your problems…..’cause they enabled you’. Its a term that maybe should be used as intended for serous problems like alcoholism and parents who stuff their kids full of Mickey D’s 4 nights a week.

    Can’t say that is exactly on target, however it’s worded, as Dorothy was pretty surprised when Danny enrolled in the same college she did, just to be with her. She thought she said goodby when they graduated?
    I think one of the old strips had her talking to someone about how she finally could get down to the important thing – her studies, and put high school relationships behind her.

    Then when she tried to break it off with him on campus, by telling him that he was not serious about his studies and she was, and that she intended to move on past their current college to further her education. That they just weren’t on the same page.
    He said “no problem, he’d enroll there too”.
    That’s when she told him flat out not to. And broke it off with him in terms even he could understand.

    Any normal human being would have picked up on the signals a long time before that. But, Danny had himself a girlfriend his parents approved of, and just didn’t want to let go of her. Dorothy did not want to hurt him, or string him along: I think she just didn’t want to hurt his feelings and also was too chicken to confront him until he forced her hand.

    I’ve known a lot of Danny’s. I don’t hate ’em, I just avoid any serious involvement with them. In time most of them grow up.

    • Roomba Ron
      Roomba Ron
      April 8, 2014 at 4:30 am | #

      Just a note on the ‘enabling’ issue. You can enable something without doing so intentionally or without it actually being any fault of your own, sort of like a bar serving alcohol to an alcoholic, its not the bars fault the alcoholic continues his detrimental behaviour but its not stopping it either(maybe not best comparison but its what ive got right now). The term isnt supposed to be used as a way of blaming someone else for a problem but is supposed to be used to recognize what parts of a persons life support their detrimental behavior, either so that they can conciously recognize it and avoid it(if they are trying to stop) or so the other person can actively not enable the person in order to help them stop.

      Whether or not Dorothy is enabling Dannys lack of understanding in relationships is debatable, but I do think he was in no way prepared to handle landmine he stepped on, he just has no experience with abusive parents or childhood trauma.

    • tinfoil theory
      tinfoil theory
      April 8, 2014 at 7:56 am | #

      Danny will enroll in the same school she does, and he’ll do better than her, and when she leaves her fling to come crawling back to him, he’ll just laugh at her and… Oh, no sorry, that was the plot to Legally Blonde. My mistake.

  69. Megatron
    Megatron
    April 8, 2014 at 2:21 am | #

    You’re a jerk.

    • nothri
      nothri
      April 8, 2014 at 7:34 pm | #

      Said the genocidal, tyrannical, and power mad giant robot without apparent irony.

  70. Shadow12000
    Shadow12000
    April 8, 2014 at 2:22 am | #

    I love irony.

    • Sambo
      Sambo
      April 8, 2014 at 6:57 pm | #

      If I could insert a photo of a giant letter E made of iron, I would

      • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
        Gadgeteer Smashwidget
        April 8, 2014 at 9:40 pm | #

        *snickers uncontrollably* dammit, that is NOT supposed to be funny, brain…

  71. Pyr05
    Pyr05
    April 8, 2014 at 2:27 am | #

    Is she implying she’s aware of Danny’s delicious flavour? Or suggesting that Danny and the T.A. Jason make a sandwich out of her?

  72. Ace
    Ace
    April 8, 2014 at 2:36 am | #

    What is with these comments? The Danny hate is getting ridiculously tiring. HEY GUYS, HE’S NOT READING A COMIC ABOUT HIMSELF, HE DOESN’T KNOW THE BACKSTORY WITH SAL AND AMBER. JUST LIKE HE COULDN’T HAVE KNOWN ABOUT BLAINE (caps for apparently needed emphasis, not anger). If something bad happens here, it has nothing to do with him ‘Danning it up’.

    • Deathjavu
      Deathjavu
      April 8, 2014 at 2:40 am | #

      I think it’s pretty hilarious that you (and several others) are reading ‘hate’ into all these comments about Danny dannying it up. I think at this point it’s more like resignation about Danny’s unwitting fate to be constantly, unwittingly making things worse.

      Danny: the walking unintentional fuckup. It’s just who he is now.

      • fit-to-freak
        fit-to-freak
        April 8, 2014 at 3:00 am | #

        Yeah, I feel like a lot of the really emotional drive to it is gone, and it’s mostly just a joke now. Wouldn’t be the first one this forum’s beaten into the ground.

        • Leonou
          Leonou
          April 8, 2014 at 4:38 am | #

          Damnit Danny, stop making the commenters do dead-horse jokes !
          Why do you have to keep Dannying this forum ?

        • Jackson
          Jackson
          April 8, 2014 at 11:22 am | #

          Danny’s FAAAAACE is secretly Amazi-Girl!

  73. Sporky
    Sporky
    April 8, 2014 at 3:08 am | #

    It makes me surprisingly happy to see Sal actually initiate interaction with Danny.

  74. Robin
    Robin
    April 8, 2014 at 3:46 am | #

    > reads title text

    Yeah, what the poop, writer?

  75. takashid
    takashid
    April 8, 2014 at 5:39 am | #

    i… cannot express how boring this comment thread becomes whenever there is a comic involving Danny. Just mind numbing. Literally 90% of all comments are just “Danning” jokes about everything bad that happens being Danny’s fault because he doesn’t know things he could not possibly ever have known. Even if people are just joking at this point, its a joke that’s long overstayed its welcome and has become stale.

    We could be talking about any number of things like:

    1. What will happen now between Danny and Sal, where this relationship will go, if they will become friends or not, if there is a possibility of romance (considering the relationship they had in the other universe) etc

    2. If Danny ever does talk to Ethan about what happened with Blaine and what the result of that talk might be

    3. and of course, where the Amber/Danny relationship will go from here.

    Instead its mostly just jokes about how this is all Danny’s fault when literally none of this new situation is his fault. Willis even lampshades his tendency to make bad luck things happen to Danny with that alt text and it STILL went over peoples heads.

    Idk, maybe because i only started reading a few months ago and so i burned through the archives quickly instead of having to wait week by week to see the Danny/Dorothy breakup, etc. All i know is that whenever Danny is involved these days this board defaults to really confusing and annoying hate that kind of sucks all the fun out of reading.

    (I do enjoy that for once a MALE character is the one getting the mindless bashing and not the other way around, but surprisingly it doesn’t really make a difference in the negativity it brings)

    • Deathjavu
      Deathjavu
      April 8, 2014 at 8:17 am | #

      Welcome to the internet, where all horses must be beaten until they become bloody smears where horse giblets used to sit.

      Repetition is the death of comedy. By the time I finally got to watch “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”, it almost wasn’t even funny anymore.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        April 8, 2014 at 2:38 pm | #

        Gasp! Blasphemer!!!

  76. ZORK
    ZORK
    April 8, 2014 at 6:17 am | #

    I feel sorry for Dan. He struggles to do the right thing, and yet, fails miserably.

  77. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    April 8, 2014 at 7:00 am | #

    Fueling the Danny hatred makes me sad.

  78. Tufto
    Tufto
    April 8, 2014 at 7:41 am | #

    Danny looks oddly like Robin in the last panel.

  79. cmd1095
    cmd1095
    April 8, 2014 at 9:38 am | #

    *sigh* fate kicks Danny in the balls again. Cue the overwhelming number of “danning it up” jokes.

    It’s sad how no matter what Danny does, he can never manage to do the right thing due to his being totally in the dark. Avoiding people Amber knows cause he doesn’t know who might be like Blaine? Good call, but then he runs into Sal who is possibly the worst person apart from Blaine, and neither of them know it.

    Even the Blaine incident wasn’t really his fault, though Blaine’s story had a few holes in it that might have cause suspicion, but considering everything Danny did what he thought was best, his actions after the fight prove that.

    So yeah, Danny has the worst luck out of anyone in the series (except possibly Joyce, for being born into her family and doomed to a life of naive willful ignorance)

  80. spriteless
    spriteless
    April 8, 2014 at 9:44 am | #

    Come to think of it, why did Sal get sent to jail when she only threatened to hurt any one, and Amber got away free for actually stabbing someone?

    Assuming Amber got away free.

    I’m assuming because she’s white.

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      April 8, 2014 at 11:40 am | #

      Sal did not get sent to jail.

    • Bill
      Bill
      April 8, 2014 at 12:07 pm | #

      I forgot she hadn’t been sent to jail, but I was going to point out that the robbery involving Amber and Ethan wasn’t the only one.

    • fudo81
      fudo81
      April 8, 2014 at 7:06 pm | #

      We don’t know yet what happened to Amber right after the robbery and the stabbing. I’m hoping she got at least some court-mandated therapy, although I realize that if that were the case, it probably didn’t help her much.

      • Bill
        Bill
        April 8, 2014 at 9:49 pm | #

        After further consideration, I believe that it might have been taken as an extreme response to the stress of the incident — sort of a PTSD outburst — and been dealt with by being referred to Human Services (or its equivalent) for counseling and therapy.
        And being that Amber was a juvenile, such records would have been either sealed or expunged upon her reaching the age of majority.

    • John
      John
      April 8, 2014 at 7:51 pm | #

      Maybe Amber got all that time she needed to practice being the best at everything while she was in juvie.

  81. SilverArrowArtemis
    SilverArrowArtemis
    April 8, 2014 at 10:12 am | #

    Geez, will you give Danny a break? It’s not like he knows that Sal is the cause of Amber’s descent into sorrow and despair that’s pooling from the very pit of her warped and twisted mind which only became that way because of the what the girl standing in front of him right now has done in the past in which he had no knowledge of whatsoever only because Amber deliberately failed to tell him thus.

    …What?

  82. Greenygal
    Greenygal
    April 8, 2014 at 12:08 pm | #

    I’m actually a little surprised Danny is so pleased to see Sal–given that he spent their last conversation insisting that she was Amazi-Girl, and now he has very definite proof that no, she isn’t, I’d expect more embarrassment. I guess he really does like her. (Either that or he’s just pleased to have an opportunity to reclaim his DS.)

  83. Mr. Morningstar
    Mr. Morningstar
    April 8, 2014 at 12:36 pm | #

    “can I have my DS ba-”
    “No.”

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      April 8, 2014 at 7:21 pm | #

      “Ah need a charger.”

  84. Pat Myers
    Pat Myers
    April 8, 2014 at 12:44 pm | #

    I let out an evil laugh.

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      April 8, 2014 at 10:42 pm | #

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jm6yEe439lw (Yes I know a lot of old songs)

  85. Next Strip...
    Next Strip...
    April 8, 2014 at 12:57 pm | #

    Danny Creates A Horror Show

  86. Roborat
    Roborat
    April 8, 2014 at 2:40 pm | #

    Nice one Sir Willis. Boy, you sure enjoy torturing your poor characters.

  87. No Name
    No Name
    April 8, 2014 at 3:21 pm | #

    Good god! The Danny hate has reached mega-levels! There are entire dissertations in this thread on how it has no grounds and is deader than dead!

    • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
      Gadgeteer Smashwidget
      April 8, 2014 at 9:45 pm | #

      If the World of Warcraft forums are any indication, that literally will not matter at all until all but a few people get tired of the ‘joke.’

  88. madd
    madd
    April 8, 2014 at 4:00 pm | #

    Oh, Danny.

  89. Zairrin
    Zairrin
    April 8, 2014 at 4:15 pm | #

    Sorry if this has been addressed before, but I was wondering:

    Do Mike and Ethan know about Amber being Amazi-girl? (In this universe, I mean, not the others.)

    • Mrimm
      Mrimm
      April 8, 2014 at 7:01 pm | #

      We know Ethan’s figured it outEthan’s figured it out. Mike… who knows, man. Probably. That guy seems to know everything.

  90. Tealjoy
    Tealjoy
    April 8, 2014 at 5:10 pm | #

    Mother of Neptune! Amber PLEASE talk to this boy.

  91. Kintrex
    Kintrex
    April 8, 2014 at 6:03 pm | #

    So, everyone who’s upset with Danny. Tell me exactly WHAT he’s doing wrong here?

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      April 8, 2014 at 7:06 pm | #

      Talking outloud for a start.

    • C.W. Roden
      C.W. Roden
      April 8, 2014 at 10:13 pm | #

      Its more the fact that Danny is cute and clueless. He’s like a guy version of Daphne from Scooby Doo.

  92. quitemouse
    quitemouse
    April 8, 2014 at 8:57 pm | #

    Ohh… he in baaaad place right now

  93. C.W. Roden
    C.W. Roden
    April 8, 2014 at 10:13 pm | #

    Danny you’re not just Wonderbread, your the Miracle Whip on top of it too.

  94. Batman
    Batman
    April 8, 2014 at 11:14 pm | #

    O, wad some power the giftie gi’e us, to see oursel’ as others see us…

  95. Cthulhu21
    Cthulhu21
    April 12, 2014 at 2:07 am | #

    More like the writter likes to screw with his readership.

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