Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 22, 2026

Shoop

by David M Willis on May 27, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Up All Night to Get Vengeance
└ Tags: amber, dorothy

Discussion (248) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    May 27, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    That thing with that swing!

    • sps48
      sps48
      May 27, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      You ain’t got a thing if you ain’t got that swing!

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 27, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        Yeah, doa, ooh, doa, ooh doa, oooooooh yeeeeeeeah!

      • a4lbi
        a4lbi
        May 27, 2014 at 5:57 pm | #

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2xVTE-2eik

        *rolls up everyone here*

        • LuckyStar7
          LuckyStar7
          May 27, 2014 at 8:35 pm | #

          YES!
          +1 Internet

    • Jon P
      Jon P
      May 27, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      You know, the thing about the thing.

    • GoldStarz
      GoldStarz
      May 27, 2014 at 1:18 am | #

      It don’t mean a thing, if it ain’t got that swing
      (doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah)

    • brionl
      brionl
      May 27, 2014 at 2:55 pm | #

      How about a Ding-a-ling-a-ling?
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MLBfwblps8

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      May 27, 2014 at 4:45 pm | #

      No, THE Thing. She wants to see the new Fantastic Four!

    • halcyon1234
      halcyon1234
      May 27, 2014 at 6:47 pm | #

      I’m in a dance show in June. The opening number is to that song. I’ve heard it about sixty eight thousand times in the past few months. You just gave me choreography flashbacks. I cannot feel my soul anymore, or I would be sad.

      • Jaxx Sentinel
        Jaxx Sentinel
        May 27, 2014 at 11:11 pm | #

        Is that strange that anyone in a musical, or dance number slowly grows to hate the songs they have to learn temporarily? or was that just me ? ( green day, hairspray and rocky horror have been forbidden from my playlists for months, and i just finally began to re-listen to them )

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    May 27, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    “Joyce’s new look. It’s the talk of the whole campus!”

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 27, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Apparently even the girls want her now. 😀

      • David
        David
        May 27, 2014 at 11:12 am | #

        Well, Ethan wants her.

  3. Raptorman
    Raptorman
    May 27, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Bless you Dorothy.

    • Yet_One_More_Idiot
      Yet_One_More_Idiot
      May 27, 2014 at 6:39 am | #

      OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR the entire previous day only happened in Amber’s dreams/nightmares. Her being discovered, Joyce’s cool new look, sadly all just imagined in Amber’s head.

      There’s a thought for y’all…

      • StClair
        StClair
        May 27, 2014 at 9:34 am | #

        An Occurrence in a Wal*Mart Parking Lot

        • Betty Anne
          Betty Anne
          May 27, 2014 at 7:14 pm | #

          Thankfully, Amber didn’t die at the end, in that Wal*Mart Parking Lot. 😐

          • Yet_One_More_Idiot
            Yet_One_More_Idiot
            May 27, 2014 at 7:24 pm | #

            O no, I just meant that that the day never happened, she was still asleep and dreaming in her dorm room. 🙂

      • Machine of Slight Discomfort
        Machine of Slight Discomfort
        May 27, 2014 at 1:18 pm | #

        Sal is Amber’s Tyler Durden.

  4. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    May 27, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    I had a feeling this would happen.

  5. chris73
    chris73
    May 27, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Well done Dorothy for doing the right thing!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 27, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      Well it’s the wrong thing. It’s the right thing at her and more importantly our reference level.

    • Anarchy 101
      Anarchy 101
      May 27, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      I have a feeling next panel will be Dorothy rushing into the newspaper office yelling and ranting about how her paper wasn’t published like they promised. Or on the other hand she missed the deadline because she was having too much “study time” with Walky

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        May 27, 2014 at 12:20 pm | #

        Nope. Look at Dorothy’s eyes in panels 4 and 5. Aggressively not looking at Amber as she denies knowledge. She knows. And is saying nothing.

        • Anarchy 101
          Anarchy 101
          May 27, 2014 at 4:42 pm | #

          Wait, thats dorothy? I did not recognize her.

    • Sageress
      Sageress
      May 27, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      What thing?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 27, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        You know, the walking hand from the Addam’s Family.

        • nothri
          nothri
          May 27, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

          Ooooh. I thought we were talking about the brick guy from that super hero team.

          • Doctor_Who
            Doctor_Who
            May 27, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

            I thought we were talking about the John Carpenter movie.

            • Opus the Poet
              Opus the Poet
              May 27, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

              Nope the screaming carrot played by James Arness version…

              • Stephen Bierce
                Stephen Bierce
                May 27, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

                Or a VW vehicle from the Seventies.

                • Marcos Dantas
                  Marcos Dantas
                  May 27, 2014 at 12:56 am | #

                  The extraterrestrial dessert?

                  No, my bad, that isn’t the thing. That is the stuff.

                • nothri
                  nothri
                  May 27, 2014 at 1:10 am | #

                  Could it be the ancient gathering place for a group of Vikings?

                • stewbacca
                  stewbacca
                  May 27, 2014 at 1:24 am | #

                  I thought it was all about what Peter Potamus sent..

                  Didn’t you all get it…

                • Stephen Bierce
                  Stephen Bierce
                  June 3, 2014 at 9:09 pm | #

                  https://www.facebook.com/cartalk/photos/a.167341151081.128953.10387251081/10152033127161082/?type=1

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            May 27, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

            It sure ain’t John Carpenter’s that’s for certain. 😀

            • nothri
              nothri
              May 27, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

              Whoops. Looks like Doctor_Who beat you to that one. I guess he just….::shades:: had better timing.

              • Plasma Mongoose
                Plasma Mongoose
                May 27, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

                It’s hard to beat a limey when it comes to the timey-whimey.

                • nothri
                  nothri
                  May 27, 2014 at 7:53 am | #

                  But it is real easy to get Rhymey about a limey involved in the timey-whimey.

                • nothri
                  nothri
                  May 27, 2014 at 7:54 am | #

                  Blimey!

                • Roborat
                  Roborat
                  May 29, 2014 at 3:06 pm | #

                  but if you beat him too long, he will become all slimey

                • Roborat
                  Roborat
                  May 29, 2014 at 3:07 pm | #

                  But if you beat him too long, he will become all slimey.

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              May 29, 2014 at 3:06 pm | #

              Ouch, he ninjad you by a minute.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      May 27, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

      I don’t see Amber in therapy yet (though that’s not really Dorothy’s responsibility, but it’s something I hope she suggests at least).

      Also, I don’t really agree that it’s that cut and dry. Dorothy knows that the person living next door is a vigilante (which is illegal and dangerous for her and others) that beat the crap out of at least one person without obvious cause. That’s pretty strong grounds for going to the police (again, I’d prefer Amber went to therapy instead of jail, but it’s important to remember that this isn’t exactly a ‘safe’ situation from Dorothy’s point of view).

      • kelticat
        kelticat
        May 27, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

        Dorothy could go to the cops, and reveal that Amber beat up Blaine. But, interestingly enough, the only one to leave trace evidence was Danny.

        • The Weird One
          The Weird One
          May 27, 2014 at 1:12 am | #

          “Trace evidence” doesn’t really count when it was saliva. In the middle of rainy weather, while Blaine was unconscious. So Blaine never knew he was spit on, and the water washed away any and all of the saliva one way or the other.

          There. Possible plot thread resolved. Let’s go back to “Amazi-Girl vs. The President”, people!

      • Bantha
        Bantha
        May 27, 2014 at 11:15 am | #

        Without obvious cause? There was plenty of obvious cause if you were there.

        • Bill
          Bill
          May 27, 2014 at 1:23 pm | #

          But that’s the point.  Dorothy wasn’t there.

  6. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    May 27, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    The person going around punching people in both eyes so that they wake up with black eyes.

    • Terah
      Terah
      May 27, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Mike?

    • Totz the Plaid
      Totz the Plaid
      May 27, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      I think those are just bags under Amber’s eyes because she wasn’t able to sleep.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        May 27, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

        I know that. I’m joking.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 27, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

        That or Amber’s slowing evolving a second pair of eyes.

        • nothri
          nothri
          May 27, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

          I feel compelled to point out on Dina’s behalf that this is not how evolution works.

          Unless….Amber is secretly a pokemon…

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            May 27, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

            She does seem to match the profile of a FIGHTING type after all. 😛

            • Yotomoe
              Yotomoe
              May 27, 2014 at 1:11 am | #

              Danny is a normal type. Which is why he’s so weak to her.

            • nothri
              nothri
              May 27, 2014 at 1:14 am | #

              Her next form will be called Amazi-Gal.

              • Yotomoe
                Yotomoe
                May 27, 2014 at 2:06 am | #

                Amazi-Woman. Amazi-Lady!

              • Bill
                Bill
                May 27, 2014 at 1:24 pm | #

                Amazi-Girl > Fantasti-Girl > AWESOME-Girl

          • JeremiahTheBulldog
            JeremiahTheBulldog
            May 27, 2014 at 4:57 pm | #

            You guessed it. All that moon stone exposure is making her evolve rapidly.

        • Anarchy 101
          Anarchy 101
          May 27, 2014 at 4:48 pm | #

          Would they also be glasses, and would she be called eight eyes to make fun of her glasses. Also, she’d have to evolve a second nose to put her glasses on.

  7. kelticat
    kelticat
    May 27, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    So Dorothy has made the decision to keep Amazi-girls secret identity out of the school newspaper….for now.

    • Sageress
      Sageress
      May 27, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      Blaaaackmail~!

      • Crimson Magick
        Crimson Magick
        May 27, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

        It’s a good way to curtail dad-beatings near campus.

        • Kelly
          Kelly
          May 27, 2014 at 3:24 am | #

          I totally heard that in the voice I use for Red Mage, and with the particular inflection used for “Red Mage has a new terrible idea”

          • Karfsma778
            Karfsma778
            May 27, 2014 at 1:25 pm | #

            What now?

          • JacHunter
            JacHunter
            May 27, 2014 at 3:05 pm | #

            Yes.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 27, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      “I own you now, Amber. Now take this blonde hair dye, I want to blow off class to boink my boyfriend, and I need a body double.”

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        May 27, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        Which will backfire when she remembers her boyfriend is in that class with her and they make out in the back of the classroom.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          May 27, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

          Gender Studies has never been soooo entertaining and fap-worthy.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            May 27, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

            “Dorothy. Did you gain weight? In all the right places?”
            (don’t care if I’ve said it before. This sentence is always relevant)

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              May 27, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

              Gotta love that amazing bootay!

            • AgentKeen
              AgentKeen
              May 27, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

              I’d suspect a body-snatcher if you hadn’t said it.

              • Plasma Mongoose
                Plasma Mongoose
                May 27, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

                I think you mean an ava-snatcher in this context.

            • indignostudios
              indignostudios
              May 27, 2014 at 12:48 am | #

              Knowing Walky, he would probably just ask Dorothy if she was feeling pregnant.

            • David
              David
              May 27, 2014 at 11:18 am | #

              If making out with Walky is making her gain weight in all the right places, it sounds like Walky is a body hugger.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        May 29, 2014 at 3:09 pm | #

        Don’t you mean a booty-double?

  8. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    May 27, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Only four comics to choose from, what is this? A newspaper… wait… nevermind.

    • nothri
      nothri
      May 27, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      Oh…snap?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 27, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        Crackle!

        • Ghostforge
          Ghostforge
          May 27, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

          Kaboom!

          • nothri
            nothri
            May 27, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

            Dude. You did it wrong.

            • Bill
              Bill
              May 27, 2014 at 1:30 pm | #

              No, he got it right.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 27, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

      Ah, I remember being so excited for newspaper comics. Even though there were only like three I really liked, I read them all.

      Now I have a folder on my bookmarks toolbar devoted especially to webcomics, and I only admit ones I really enjoy.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 27, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

        I know that feeling, I created three folders for webcomics in My Favourites:

        Webcomics A-I
        Webcomics J-P
        Webcomics Q-Z

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          May 27, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

          I used to have separate folders for each day of the week until Firefox stopped allowing duplicate bookmarks in different folders. Damn you Mozilla!

          • Joe
            Joe
            May 27, 2014 at 7:19 am | #

            You guys _really_ need to learn about rss feed readers.

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              May 27, 2014 at 10:41 pm | #

              What do they do that checking the webcomic websites don’t?

              • Joe
                Joe
                May 30, 2014 at 8:16 am | #

                Well, generally better folders, and also checking all the websites for you. Automatically, and also all at once.

        • Jerden
          Jerden
          May 27, 2014 at 11:30 am | #

          I have a favourites bar, in which I rank webcomics in order of update frequency. Of course, that means the ones that the comics that only update once a week end up very low on a scroll down menu, so I tend to forget about them for a while, but that just means that I get to catch up with a few months at once, which is nice.

  9. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    May 27, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Yeah! She lives to fight another day!

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      May 27, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      Or rather, she lives to amaze another day!

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        May 27, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

        “Wow, that level of psychological trauma is truly amazing!”

        • JessWitt
          JessWitt
          May 27, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

          Incidentally, I’m reading about trauma management. Harrowing stuff.

          • Anarchy 101
            Anarchy 101
            May 27, 2014 at 4:53 pm | #

            Sounds like something Mike would read so as to show Amber how not to resolve her probs.

  10. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    May 27, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Well, now what? I mean, do they become friends, tense acquaintances? what? THIS CHARACTER DYNAMIC IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 27, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      Will Dotty become Mary-Jane to Amber’s Peter Parker?

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        May 27, 2014 at 12:01 pm | #

        Who is showing in your Gravatar today, from this computer it looks like Asuka Langley shooting a BAR.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          May 27, 2014 at 10:40 pm | #

          You’re right on the money.

    • Swerve
      Swerve
      May 27, 2014 at 12:36 am | #

      The can always start as neighbors, whose hab-suites share an ajoining waste disposal facility. Where they go from there is anyone’s guess.

      Perhaps Dorothy will remain unsure of whether to help Amber conquer her demons; Dorothy will probably engage in dialogue that makes Ironfist’s “Fisitronisms” look like fine art, as she says “I must help her! Even if it costs me my shot at breaking into journalism, CAN I DO NO LESS!”

      Meantime, Amber is suspicious of Dorothy, and says “What are you playing at?!?” Dorothy tries to convince Amber of her genuine desire to help, but Amber responds with, “It’s over – finished!”

      That’s probably what will happen. 😉

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        May 27, 2014 at 1:39 am | #

        Now the best question after this is how will Billie react? She’ll probably have a vague recollection of what happened, but will she pursue her foggy memories?

        • Swerve
          Swerve
          May 27, 2014 at 8:18 am | #

          I think Billie was way too drunk to coherently remember anything from early this morning. At best, Billie will remember that Amazi-Girl rode through the hall on a unicorn, checked in on Ruth and helped Billie into bed. Also Billie will remember Amazi-Girl telling Billie how hot Billie is.

          Trust me; I’m a bartender. On a spaceship full of Autobots (and Cyclonus, who is most certainly not a Decepticon). I deal with this all the time. 🙂

          • Anarchy 101
            Anarchy 101
            May 27, 2014 at 4:54 pm | #

            Tripping acid much, swerve?

  11. Sensedog
    Sensedog
    May 27, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Nice.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 27, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      http://1-media-cdn.foolz.us/ffuuka/board/a/image/1393/65/1393652642046.jpg

  12. Vile Gamer
    Vile Gamer
    May 27, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    “Y’know, the movie…”
    “Oh THAT Thing? That’s not as good as the first Thing?”
    “That Thing?”
    “I like that Thing”
    “I liked the Thing.”
    “Great character of the Four.”
    “I feel we’re getting of track here…”

  13. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    May 27, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    IT HAS MORE THAN ONE COMIC, TOO?
    (I’m probably not going to let this go.)

    • cesium133
      cesium133
      May 27, 2014 at 11:58 am | #

      They should consider themselves lucky. The campus newspaper here has zero comics.

  14. Jake
    Jake
    May 27, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Yay! Now they can be friends!

    • newllend
      newllend
      May 27, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      And no one has to get capped.

  15. dropded
    dropded
    May 27, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    It may have been the wrong thing to have outed Amazi-Girl, but anything that doesn’t push Amber to give up the AG nonsense and seek help is barely the right thing either.

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      May 27, 2014 at 1:06 am | #

      Why give up Amazi-Girl? Amber is the false identity.

      • John
        John
        May 27, 2014 at 1:07 pm | #

        I don’t think she’s hit the Batman stage yet, where Amber is just a costume Amazi-Girl sometimes wears. Amazi-Girl is probably her healthier persona, but I don’t think she’s the only real one. Yet.

  16. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    May 27, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Get some goddamn sleep, Amber. Otherwise you’re going to blearily stumble through the day and do dumb things like go into the wrong bathroom.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      May 27, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      It’s not like her judgement can get any worse. Maybe sleep deprivation will be to Amber what booze is to Mike?

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        May 27, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

        Pretty sure it could be worse. Though the idea of sleep deprivation making Amber deliriously happy is amusing to me.

  17. GoogerGeiger
    GoogerGeiger
    May 27, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    An unlikely alliance.

  18. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    May 27, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    That’s right, Amber, you interacted with Malaya for nothing.

    • John
      John
      May 27, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

      Not nothing.

      She got to clothesline Malaya and throw her across a parking lot.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        May 27, 2014 at 12:55 am | #

        Clotheslining Malaya is its own reward.

        • The Weird One
          The Weird One
          May 27, 2014 at 1:07 am | #

          Many people would actually endure Malaya’s company (for a short while, of course) for a chance to clothesline her.

  19. Alyssa
    Alyssa
    May 27, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

    So is this the part where Amber is confused and Dorothy suggests the campus counseling center?

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      May 27, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

      Please. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE.

    • David
      David
      May 27, 2014 at 11:35 am | #

      Impressive as Amber is, I doubt she is fit to counsel the campus.

  20. Khaner
    Khaner
    May 27, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

    The original, I hope, not the shitty 2011 remake Thing.

  21. MrSirk
    MrSirk
    May 27, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

    Amber did sort of just assume a lot of things.

  22. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    May 27, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

    Here’s the thing Amber. We’re gonna spiderman this shit. You jump all cool from building to building while I take impossible, close up and personal amazing shots of you that noone could possibly do ever and somehow noone ever will question how I managed to get them.

    • Tom T.
      Tom T.
      May 27, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

      It’s more Daredevil and Ben Urich. Although hopefully Dorothy won’t start chain-smoking.

      • nothri
        nothri
        May 27, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

        ….except no one knows who in the frick of frick Ben Urich even is, cause nobody reads Daredevil.

        And by no one I mean me.

        • p
          p
          May 27, 2014 at 7:24 am | #

          He’s a character in Spider-man, too.

        • Khantalas
          Khantalas
          May 27, 2014 at 7:40 am | #

          Ben Urich is also in Ultimate Spider-Man.

          • Starscreamer
            Starscreamer
            May 27, 2014 at 7:23 pm | #

            And regular Spider-man…

    • nothri
      nothri
      May 27, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

      Yeah, fine. Now excuse me while I go summon a demon to erase our relationship from existence…

    • Jay Eff
      Jay Eff
      May 27, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

      Most of the male student body won’t question it, anyway. Oh, and lesbians, I suppose…

      Daisy might question it, but only because she’d like to meet Amazi-Girl in person.

  23. Raibean
    Raibean
    May 27, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

    They’re going to start dating now, right? That’s how it works when a woman finds out your secret identity, she starts dating you. Right?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      May 27, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      I need to tell more people my secret identity more often.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        May 27, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

        First you have to have a secret identity.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          May 27, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

          My real name….isn’t Yotomoe.

          • Swerve
            Swerve
            May 27, 2014 at 12:49 am | #

            I don’t think it works that way. You can’t just blurt out your secret identity! No, you need to play a game of turbofox and cyberkitty, where you dangle hints about about your civilian identity, while having ways to drag out the chase. Have another superhero pose as you, especially a shapeshifter (extra points if you can get the Martian Manhunter, a shapeshifting telepath!). Hire body doubles. Fake your death. Then let her unmask you by leaping off Niagara Falls or the Manhattan Bridge; after you save her, you can scold her and she can confirm her suspicions. That is how it works. I think. Honestly, I haven’t been in any of the cross-overs with Spider-Man. You’d probably be better off asking Gears.

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            May 27, 2014 at 1:00 am | #

            You think either of my parents had the last name the Poet?

            • David
              David
              May 27, 2014 at 11:36 am | #

              Pussy the Patsy?

          • Doom Shepherd
            Doom Shepherd
            May 27, 2014 at 1:14 am | #

            My last name isn’t Shepherd.

            • Swerve
              Swerve
              May 27, 2014 at 8:33 am | #

              I’m not really an Autobot metallurgist/bRtender who appears in IDW’s ongoing series “Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye”.

              • John
                John
                May 27, 2014 at 1:14 pm | #

                I totally am a guy named John. I even use my real last name in the comments on BBR and SP!.

                This identity isn’t my secret one. There’s a reason I didn’t comment all weekend. I was off the net because I was doing secret identity stuff.

    • Tom T.
      Tom T.
      May 27, 2014 at 12:59 am | #

      Often the woman who makes the discovery just gets memory-wiped. See, for instance, Superman II.

      • rachel
        rachel
        May 27, 2014 at 4:23 am | #

        my last name isn’t… oh wait.

        • Clif
          Clif
          May 27, 2014 at 9:51 pm | #

          Oddly, mine isn’t …oh wait… either.

  24. parttimegamer93
    parttimegamer93
    May 27, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

    Go Dorothy, making a responsible choice!

  25. Ragnal
    Ragnal
    May 27, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

    I expected this this was going to happen. I mean, not them talking about it in a shared bathroom, but I mean c’mon, Dorothy has MORALS, yanno.

  26. Chris
    Chris
    May 27, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

    ROFL, that look on Amber’s face in the last panel, like when your brain blows a fuse or something.

  27. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    May 27, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

    Did you get that thing I sent ya?

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      May 27, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NI23CRx_Mw

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      May 27, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

      You mean that thing with three control settings?

    • nothri
      nothri
      May 27, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

      The anthrax? Yes I did. Your a dick, by the way.

    • Swerve
      Swerve
      May 27, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

      Yes. It’s nothing to be concerned about. It’s just a simple rust rash, not Cosmic Rust. you need to apply propex swabs to the affected areas for ten to fourteen solar cycles and it should clear up.

  28. SilverArrowArtemis
    SilverArrowArtemis
    May 27, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

    Amber, you need to learn to be a better judge of character. And get some f***ing water.

    • Greenygal
      Greenygal
      May 27, 2014 at 2:13 am | #

      Amber barely knows Dorothy, and most of what she does know involves Dorothy’s burning desire to track her down and get a story for the paper. Why would she think Dorothy would keep quiet?

      • John
        John
        May 27, 2014 at 1:18 pm | #

        In their first engagement, Dorothy told Amazi-Girl she was on her side.

        • Greenygal
          Greenygal
          May 27, 2014 at 2:26 pm | #

          Which she immediately followed up by pointing out that she could find out Amazi-Girl’s identity on her own and asking if Amazi-Girl wanted her on her side or not, implying that Dorothy would not be on her side if Amazi-Girl didn’t cooperate.

  29. kelticat
    kelticat
    May 27, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

    Dorothy is displaying the ethics that Joyce’s parents refuse to believe that she has. Outing someone against their will is not a good thing. Helping them quietly get therapy to deal with any underlying issues is so much better.

    • kelticat
      kelticat
      May 27, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

      Or, rather safer. Not better, safer.

      • The Weird One
        The Weird One
        May 27, 2014 at 1:06 am | #

        No, it’s better too. I mean, it IS safer. The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive, though.

        Don’t tell my minions I said that. I have them all firmly convinced that nitroglycerin is the deodorant of the future, and that occasional violent explosions are the price we must all pay to be better.

    • Rutee
      Rutee
      May 27, 2014 at 4:50 am | #

      Quick reminder: amazigirl engages in beatdowns. I feel you, but it is not the same.

      • John
        John
        May 27, 2014 at 1:20 pm | #

        That’s Amber, not Amazi-Girl.

  30. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    May 27, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

    “The thing where I dress up at night in a yellow jumpsuit and release my pent-up emotions.”

    “I didn’t need to know about your weird sex habits.”

    • The Weird One
      The Weird One
      May 27, 2014 at 1:03 am | #

      Yes. All of my yes. If my yes was a physical being, I would have packed it screaming and kicking into a box, to be mailed to you post-haste.

      I seriously hope Willis will go somewhere like that.

      • DSL
        DSL
        May 27, 2014 at 5:12 am | #

        Kicking and screaming in a box? That’s gotta be worse than just damning him.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      May 29, 2014 at 3:16 pm | #

      “And by the way, that katana is a terrible dildo. I do like the motorcycle helmet however, keep it on”.

  31. EvergreenFir
    EvergreenFir
    May 27, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

    Amber wants to know about your missing thing

    • David
      David
      May 27, 2014 at 11:37 am | #

      To rub it on her tummy?

    • gwalla
      gwalla
      May 28, 2014 at 10:16 pm | #

      I woke up this morning
      And my penis was missing again
      This happens all the time
      It’s detachable

  32. someguywithakatana
    someguywithakatana
    May 27, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

    Could this, finally, be the start of Amber’s life not being a constant influx of terrible, emotionally scarring nightmares?

    • kelticat
      kelticat
      May 27, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

      We can only hope.

    • Jack Finch
      Jack Finch
      May 27, 2014 at 3:35 pm | #

      Maybe! It’s not like this is a David Willis comi……….uuuuuuuuh, dammit!

  33. Swerve
    Swerve
    May 27, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

    C’mon, Amber! Couldn’t you knock? You shouldn’t just barge in on other people when they’re… what is it she’s doing? It looks like Dorothy’s buffing the finish on her teeth. Do humans really do that? The only ‘Bot whose teeth I’ve ever had to remove rust from was Grimlock; the chompers on his alt-mode corrode really quickly, because he keeps biting into his enemies.

    Back on topic! Seriously, Amber, knock first! What if Sierra had been in there, without her shoes on? 😉

    Amber needs to seriously tone down the paranoia. If she’d only spoken to Dorothy, she might have realized that Amazi-Girl wasn’t going to appear in the paper, and she wouldn’t have gotten pounded on by Malaya.

    I’m kind of hoping that IDW decides to officially promote me to “Official Recap Page Narrator”, so I can break the fourth wall, tell snarky jokes, and spill gossip about Tailgate. Fingers crossed!

    • fembot
      fembot
      May 27, 2014 at 10:20 am | #

      JFC dude, now you just made me go and buy a Swerve figure on eBay.

    • Slipgate
      Slipgate
      May 27, 2014 at 3:03 pm | #

      Swerve,

      Amber and Dorothy are in adjacent dorm rooms. I think they have a shared bathroom.

      Even if they didn’t, the door appears to already be open, and it’s not necessarily Amber that opened it. (See how Joyce and Sarah’s door was open already so Sal just spoke aloud to get their attention instead of having a door to knock on.)

      Slipgate

  34. moby
    moby
    May 27, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

    Wonder where’s Dina in all of this.

    • Jay Eff
      Jay Eff
      May 27, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

      She’s up in the ceiling.

      Watching.

      Watching them all.

      • David
        David
        May 27, 2014 at 11:38 am | #

        I think you mean hatching. Hatching them all.

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        May 27, 2014 at 4:49 pm | #

        Ceiling Dina is watching you exacerbate

    • Swerve
      Swerve
      May 27, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

      Standing quietly in the corner? Or maybe she went to have her morning sugared cereal ration?

    • Rex Hondo
      Rex Hondo
      May 27, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

      Trying to come up with a polite way to point out that she was in there first, trying to poop.

      • Bill
        Bill
        May 27, 2014 at 1:42 pm | #

        Or already in there pooping and quietly thinking to herself that “Mammals are wierd”.

  35. Rabid Rabbit
    Rabid Rabbit
    May 27, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

    I feel that the bags under Amber’s eyes deserve their own tag.

  36. Gigafreak
    Gigafreak
    May 27, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

    Given that Dorothy is brushing her teeth and Amber’s newspaper is obscuring her body, I thought for a moment that Amber’s reading it on the toilet while Dotty casually brushes her teeth in the same bathroom like it ain’t no thang.

    • bibulb
      bibulb
      May 27, 2014 at 1:09 am | #

      Glad I’m not the only one.

  37. Shanunu
    Shanunu
    May 27, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

    I feel like if a Blaine level beatdown happened again on campus, Dorothy would start holding it ovee her head.

    Keeping in mind beating a peraon until they have to go to the hospital isn’t really a good thing in the first place.

  38. Mass Confusion
    Mass Confusion
    May 27, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

    Dotty just shot to my number one favorite character. After Dina, of course.
    And Mike, but I don’t count him as a character so much as a force of nature, like a tornado or taxes

  39. The Steve
    The Steve
    May 27, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

    Now Dorothy becomes Amazi-Girl’s sidekick, right?

    • Crimson Magick
      Crimson Magick
      May 27, 2014 at 1:12 am | #

      I was figuring Dorothy would be Commissioner Gordon to Amazi-Girl’s Batman, reigning in her wild side and giving her purpose.

      Or maybe Amber will join the Monkey Master entourage. There cannot be too many!

    • Bill
      Bill
      May 27, 2014 at 1:52 pm | #

      Jason Furness has already cleared up the “who is Amazi-Girl’s sidekick?” issue here.

      p.s. — the “CG” stands for “Clever Girl”.

  40. Bilfred
    Bilfred
    May 27, 2014 at 1:00 am | #

    This is where we reveal that Dorothy suffers from short-term memory loss.

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      May 27, 2014 at 5:39 pm | #

      Please, let’s not have a re-enactment of 50 First Dates. As a resident of Hawaii, that movie was an embarrassment.

  41. Yurlibus
    Yurlibus
    May 27, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

    And Dorothy secures her future legacy as the stupid journalist who couldn’t tell she lived right next to a violent criminal if the Amazigirl identity ever becomes public by other means.

  42. Big Drahma
    Big Drahma
    May 27, 2014 at 1:04 am | #

    Here I go, here I go, here I go again (again?)
    Girls, what’s my weakness? (Men!)

    • Big Drahma
      Big Drahma
      May 27, 2014 at 1:05 am | #

      Ok then, chillin’, chillin’, mindin’ my business (word)
      Yo, Salt, I looked around, and I couldn’t believe this

  43. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    May 27, 2014 at 1:07 am | #

    I think Amber needs to seek professional help. By which I mean she needs to talk to Danny about becoming a better vigilante–one who fights actual crimes than committing acts of racist persecution against trans, disabled, Asian, and black girls.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      May 27, 2014 at 1:23 am | #

      AG’s attack on Sal’s posse was stupid and based on some deep-seated issues, but there was no indication that it was racially motivated.

      • Anon
        Anon
        May 27, 2014 at 12:23 pm | #

        Aslan speaks truth. AG was simply seeking to confront and defeat her childhood nemesis and the source of much of her trauma. She took the wrong approach, however, and confronted her physically (perhaps due to the nature of the trauma) rather than verbally.

  44. TOM
    TOM
    May 27, 2014 at 1:16 am | #

    And thus begins a two-man spiderman job.

  45. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    May 27, 2014 at 1:35 am | #

    GtG Dorothy. Glad you did what you did.

    Being as smart as Dorothy is, she may be just the person Amber needs in her life at this exact time. Get Amber to go to a clinic for help?

    Charles Phipps, you gotta be kidding?

  46. WingedBeast
    WingedBeast
    May 27, 2014 at 1:39 am | #

    I think Amber could use *a* confrontation with Sal, but less of an actual confrontation and more of a… conversation. Sal, whatever else she is, isn’t a bad guy. (Amber’s father, on the other hand, she can beat the shit out of him on a regular basis.)

    She needs to talk to Sal, realize that Sal isn’t her enemy but a person with her own stuff going on. Perhaps she wouldn’t become Sal’s friend, but she could at least move on a bit from thinking that Sal needs to be defeated.

    But, yeah, professional help.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      May 27, 2014 at 3:54 pm | #

      Of course, now I’m imagining Sal doing a Zangief impression.
      “I say, Sal, you are bad guy, but this does not mean you are bad guy.”

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        May 27, 2014 at 4:51 pm | #

        Zangief isn’t a bad guy, either! ONLY flaw of that movie.

        • AgentKeen
          AgentKeen
          May 27, 2014 at 10:48 pm | #

          I know, he’s just a big bear… I mean, teddy bear.

  47. Shad
    Shad
    May 27, 2014 at 1:42 am | #

    I’m kinda wondering about the bandage on Amber’s leg. Conservation of detail usually means that stuff like that has a reason, did I miss something?

    • Beige
      Beige
      May 27, 2014 at 5:51 am | #

      Malaya kicked it last night

      • Swerve
        Swerve
        May 27, 2014 at 8:37 am | #

        The good news is that Amazi-Girl gave Malaya some wounds of her own to lick.

        • David
          David
          May 27, 2014 at 11:45 am | #

          Just a short while ago I ran out after a series of high-pitched wails and whammings (probably involving the barn wall as well as the antagonists). For all that noise, remarkably few open wounds and bruises. Mares will be mares.

          Humans will likely not do as much damage when they are just throwing their weight around without proper aim.

        • John
          John
          May 27, 2014 at 1:28 pm | #

          Ambiguous grammar meant that the first image that popped into my head from that was Amazi-Girl and Malaya licking each other’s wounds. It was weirdly not as sexy as I might have expected it would be.

      • Shad
        Shad
        May 29, 2014 at 2:01 am | #

        Just went back to check, it looks like the only injury was getting kneed in the gut. Saw someone mention it might be a patch like with birth control or nicotene though.

  48. Clif
    Clif
    May 27, 2014 at 1:43 am | #

    I think Dorothy just got a coolness boost and didn’t even need Sal’s shirt to do it.

    • Clif
      Clif
      May 27, 2014 at 1:45 am | #

      Dorothy. sigh.

      Four comics in a student newspaper, I can understand. What’s with no ability to edit comments?

  49. Philip Marlowe
    Philip Marlowe
    May 27, 2014 at 1:59 am | #

    I want to say I called it, but I’m not sure if I really called it.

  50. begbert2
    begbert2
    May 27, 2014 at 2:09 am | #

    I’ve got to give Dorothy props on being able to speak so clearly with a toothbrush in her mouth. That’s not something just anybody can do.

    • Sambo
      Sambo
      May 27, 2014 at 7:49 pm | #

      +5

  51. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    May 27, 2014 at 2:09 am | #

    The Thing?

    Is Dorothy going to explode into tentacles and spider legs until somebody sets her on fire?

  52. Acher4
    Acher4
    May 27, 2014 at 2:46 am | #

    I knew this would happen….btu still.

    Woohooo!!!! for Dorothy!

  53. newllend
    newllend
    May 27, 2014 at 3:00 am | #

    Amber:”you know the thing about me being Amazi-Oooooh I get it.

    • Kevin
      Kevin
      May 27, 2014 at 4:13 am | #

      Amazi-Ooooh is Amber’s pornstar identity, and Dorothy doesn’t know about it… yet…

      Dan knows, though. But he’s not telling.

      • David
        David
        May 27, 2014 at 11:48 am | #

        You mean Dan-neigh, as he is known in the business?

  54. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    May 27, 2014 at 3:34 am | #

    Whew

  55. Kevin
    Kevin
    May 27, 2014 at 4:12 am | #

    And then Billie told everyone and many “damn you Willis”‘s were had by all

  56. Bagge
    Bagge
    May 27, 2014 at 6:24 am | #

    “The thing we all agreed to forget about”

    “Uh, which one? We are amassing quite a few of those”

    Either way, Dorothy is best future president.

  57. Taigan
    Taigan
    May 27, 2014 at 7:54 am | #

    Does Amber always get the school paper shoved under her door? Or was someone making sure she SAW that she wasn’t in it?

    • Tenn
      Tenn
      May 27, 2014 at 9:35 am | #

      That’s Dorothy doing the shoving.

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        May 27, 2014 at 2:20 pm | #

        It’s being slid under the *bathroom* door, I think, which connects to Dorothy’s/Sierra’s room. Which means Dorothy retrieved a copy of the day’s paper, brought it with her to the bathroom, slid the paper under the door to Amber’s/Dina’s room, and then willingly feigned ignorance about any significance of the contents (or lack thereof) moments later.

        Dorothy is basically trying to make it very apparent to Amber that she KNOWS, but that she’s willing to keep it secret.

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          May 27, 2014 at 2:22 pm | #

          Or, y’know, what John said half an hour ago. (Lousy lack of cellphone reception…)

    • John
      John
      May 27, 2014 at 1:50 pm | #

      That’s not the door to the hallway that the paper came under; it’s the door to the bathroom Amber and Dina’s room shares with Dorothy and Sierra’s room, and the only ways to access that bathroom are through one of those rooms. And Dorothy is in the bathroom brushing her teeth.

      So, yeah, this is definitely not IDS paper delivery service. Dorothy shoved the paper under the door of their shared bathroom, so Dorothy knows that Amber saw it, and Amber knows that Dorothy knows that she saw it.

  58. Tenn
    Tenn
    May 27, 2014 at 9:32 am | #

    This might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Or a brutal beating for making Amber lose a whole night’s sleep over nothing.

  59. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    May 27, 2014 at 9:45 am | #

    C’mon guys what are you waiting for???? DOROTHY FOR PRESIDENT!!!!

  60. What was the question again?
    What was the question again?
    May 27, 2014 at 10:02 am | #

    Is amber on the toilet while dorothy brushes her teeth?

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      May 27, 2014 at 4:52 pm | #

      Why is there a toilet right by her bed?

      That’s like all of my nightmares =| [apparently NO ONE in my dreams has heard of putting a toilet in an enclosed room with door that closes all the way]

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      May 27, 2014 at 11:01 pm | #

      Um….no? Amber is standing in the doorway to the bathroom.

  61. hack
    hack
    May 27, 2014 at 11:42 am | #

    Dorothy: “now you work for me, Amber.”

    CUT TO END CREDITS w/ WANG CHUNG

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWsYX-GE70o

  62. Axel
    Axel
    May 27, 2014 at 11:58 am | #

    “The thing about me being Amazi-Girl!”
    “Oh, well, I didn’t have any proof, of course… until just now when you admitted it in front of this tape recorder!”
    Then Dorothy runs away cackling and another chase scene ensues, with the roles reversed.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      May 27, 2014 at 4:20 pm | #

      She’d need to talk about it for a while first, so as to have an actual story.

      • Axel
        Axel
        May 27, 2014 at 4:28 pm | #

        “It turned out we shared a bathroom this whole time!”
        “Wow, that must have been a shock after learning so much about her real identity, interacting on a regular basis.”
        “Uh… yeah. Definitely interacted. Like sociable people do.”

  63. John
    John
    May 27, 2014 at 2:01 pm | #

    On the right thing/wrong thing question… remember, it’s a lot easier to publish something unpublished than to unpublish something published. This course of action allows Dorothy to change her mind. The other wouldn’t.

    (Of course, if she changes her mind, her future political opponents are going to accuse her of flip-flopping on the vigilantism issue.)

  64. OnnaStik
    OnnaStik
    May 27, 2014 at 2:04 pm | #

    Fingers crossed that Amber decides to talk to Dorothy now that she’s demonstrated her good faith. There is, as others have already noted, still the matter of the beating to resolve, but I think it can actually be sorted out if they do things right.

    Of course, this being Dumbing of Age, they won’t, but I can dream.

  65. Jack Finch
    Jack Finch
    May 27, 2014 at 3:31 pm | #

    I now think Dorothy might have the politic instincts she needs to become what she wishes to be.

  66. Ghola
    Ghola
    May 27, 2014 at 4:03 pm | #

    Is it wrong that the first thing I thought on panel three was that Dorothy and Amber finally got to the point of their dorm lives where they can poop in front of each other?
    Because that’s the only way to read a newspaper.

  67. Gigafreak
    Gigafreak
    May 27, 2014 at 4:07 pm | #

    It now occurs to me that Doroty and Amber can speak freely about Amazi-Girl at the moment. Walky and Sierra are elsewhere, and Dina already knows.

  68. Kirbilius Clausius
    Kirbilius Clausius
    May 27, 2014 at 4:07 pm | #

    Second chances are best thrown on the ground.

  69. halcyon1234
    halcyon1234
    May 27, 2014 at 6:50 pm | #

    Amber: I was awake all night worried sick about this. WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?
    Dorothy: Because then I couldn’t get that amazing shot of you laying awake worried.
    Amber: What?
    Dorothy: Nothing. I’m not making a found footage Amazi-girl movie.

  70. Perry
    Perry
    May 28, 2014 at 11:05 am | #

    You remind me of the thing.
    “What thing?”
    The thing with the power…

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