I’m going to be in Bloomington, Indiana, today, at Vintage Phoenix Comic Books, from 5-7pm! Come see me.
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I’m going to be in Bloomington, Indiana, today, at Vintage Phoenix Comic Books, from 5-7pm! Come see me.
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The best part is secretly getting to cop a feel
Billie: “Is that a Bible in your pocket or are you too happy to see me?”
It was both 😉
“No, it’s just the Book of Psalms, silly!”
“Still waiting on that fat Jesus room…”
It was First Peter.
I… I love you. That’s a beautifully inappropriate pun.
Second.
Joyce: I am happy to see you but what does that have to do with my Pocket Cross?
Is that what they’re calling afterglow now?
Shes getting a hold of her two tablets if you know what i mean……Im going to hell arnt I….
Jesus is happy too!
No No no, I just have a couple of nickels in my pocket…
They come in handy ya know
KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE!
“The names of the five children shall be Gillie, Tillie, Fillie, Millie, and Vanillie!”
Meet Ruby and her BRuthas.
And their brothers Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur?
And their brothers Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur?
Andi, Mandi, Sandi, and the twins, Candi and Khandi
Are you alluding to what I think you’re alluding?
~\o
I see you come, I watch you go; you never seem to leave me, though.
So is this love or hate? We’ll see…you’re makin’ me crazy!
Inside my dreams, you’re all I see. Well, all I see is you and me.
Lady, maybe, or host? I find I really don’t mind
If I had to choose a rose, in this garden of romance,
Maybe we could take this chance…maybe you’re my love! o/~
No I’m not posting the phonetic Japanese lyrics.
And I would like to find
A hand like yours to take mine
And with just one kiss
We could stop time
And I’d fall in love with you
Tomorrow’s far away
Let’s place our hope in today
Just you and me
In a beautiful spring
And we’ll always fall in love, again
Thanks guys, now the song is stuck in my head and I want to watch it again.
There’s always room for fat Jesus. Or jello.
“Eat; this is my body.”
Why use wine for the Eucharist when you can use JELLO SHOTS?!
The fat Jesus balances out the two thin ones.
“The bread is my body. The wine is my blood. Both are extremely high in cholesterol.”
“And then I did the last supper, and I gave them some wine and I said, drink this wine – it is my blood.”
“You said what?”
“I said, drink this wine it is my blood. I was trying to make it a ceremony.”
“But that’s vampirism! Vampiric thing, drink my blood. You’ve got Pagan things right there on day one of the new religion!”
“Oh, sorry.”
“Why didn’t you say, drink this wine it’s a Merlot?”
“Oh, yeah.”
So who will get artificially inseminated through the use of a magic super soaker?
A turkey baster would work better.
or, uh, adoption can be a thing.
Neopets don’t count as real children. 😛
But Tomagachi’s do!
Oh… um… than I think I might be going away for child endangerment. Freedom was good while it lasted…
Am I the only person who owned a Digivice instead’a a Tamagotchi?
I had a Tamagothi
I miss my Digivice…that was over a decade ago XD
xD I didn’t say they needed to adopt a thing, I said adoption can be a thing.
If only they could visit the Walkieverse
Are these two ready for triplets, though?
Only Joyce can be this inappropriate and this adorable at the same time.
It’s her superpower.
this.
Holy crap, Joyce’s eyebrows have done come off!
…and they were never seen again…
I would love it if the next comic she appeared in she was in a hospital bed with bandages over her eyes, her family gravely bedside her, praying, while the doctors searched for one or two donors. In another comic’s background, a collection can for Joyce is set in the main entrance to the dorms. Later on, Joyce is forced to justify the requisite blood and hair transfusion when she falls secretly in love with a fundamentalist Jehovah’s Witness. Only later still, we learn the new eyebrows are really cybernetic experimental eyebrows, but the nanotechnology that controls their expressions has been HACKED. And then when they are finally defeated and tossed into a volcano… They crawl back out. Then they get their own Slipshine.
“I didn’t pray for this.” – Joyce Jensen
That… is incredibly detailed.
Man, just wait until you read the slipshine.
First, Joyce █████████ her lover, while he █████████████████████████████ next she touches his ███████████ and ██████████████████████ until █████████████████████ with a rubber duck ███████████████ chocolate ██████████████████████ “Twenty! Twenty!” █████████████████████████████ six inches of █████████████████████████████ big, juicy █████████████████████ George H.W. Bush ███████████████ Twitterfeed ███████████████████████████████ and it turns out he was a robot the whole time!
Whoa, lots of classified stuff in that fanfic.
It’s a matter of national security.
Escape From Joyce’s Face
the shocking new book
by Joyce’s Eyebrows
Oh, oh, eyebrow-beasts. I’ve missed you so much.
Huh, someone teach me the art of lifting my eyebrows off my face please.
Damn, done been beat to the punch
No but I really love it when that happens. And the eyebrows continue being levitated in the last panel. The secret is Wingardium Leviosa.
“It’s LeviOHsa, not LevioSAA”
Can someone explain the joke this time?
Joyce is oblivious and everyone talks funny
“Leave some room for Jesus” is a thing that gets said by teachers at dances as a way of complaining about kids standing too close to each other. Basically, stand like there’s a man between you and your partner, otherwise you are sinful slutty sinners. Note, you even hear this at public schools.
Billie is saying it because it would appeal to Joyce, and get her to GET OFF HER BACK.
So they’re training all the kids for threesomes? The boy works the back, the girls works the front and Jesus comes again?
I see what you did there
And it was good.
And the evening and the morning were the first day.
Oh you guys this is a great joke for an ex fundie like me. I needed the laugh, thanx.
*Thumbs up*
And there was much rejoicing.
I WOKE UP my fiancee to tell her this one.
She normally is hard to wake up, not to mention her disliking it, but she laughed out loud and thanked me for rousing her to tell her your joke.
Applaud yourself, sir/ma’am.
Chaperones tell dancers to leave the amount of space sufficient for someone the size of Jesus between each dancer, keeping inappropriate touching to a minimum.
Billie wants more than that.
And Joyce will have none of it 😀
when people dance close to each other, some Christians who think that is not appropriate will tell them to leave room for Jesus, like, leave space between them. So when Joyce hugs her, Billie is asking to leave a space between them, and she says “a very fat Jesus” implying a bigger space… it’s her way of saying “please stay away / no hugs.”
Man, I hate that my internet is so slow that many other people will answer a post in the time it takes for mine to show up. ><;;
Oh, I thought it was because with 5 kids there’s no room for jesus, and since Billie and Ruth will probably not have kids, there needs to be a very, very fat jesus there…
What they said…. GO FAT JESUS
Buddha is like a fat Asian Jesus in a way, so…
Shoot, beat me to it.
technically both Buddha and Jesus are skinny asian Jesuses. Jesi? Jesodes?
Jesoids. Or Buddhagons or Siddharthahedrons if we’re merely talking geometry.
“For all problems, assume a perfectly spherical Jesus of constant density D.”
“We’ve excited Jesus into the Fat state using a two-photon process. Fat Jesus has a lifetime of 33 microseconds, but briefly returns to the Fat Jesus state after decaying. Spectroscopy of the Fat Jesus state also revealed Fat Buddha, Fat Moses, and Fat Zeus resonances.”
Santa is like a fat Jesus except instead of dying for your sins he gives you presents. Honestly it seems like a better deal for all parties involved.
Fat Jesus is the party Jesus.
Jesus’ factory setting is Asian, but a lot of folks have upgraded him to White.
That’s not an upgrade, just an alternate setting – problem is, the “white” setting has errors which can lead to rampant bigotry and fanaticism, even torture and human sacrifice. Too many people seem determined on using the product in a manner opposite of the designer’s intent…
+1
This comment, plus that avatar. Perfect.
Kinda like we use a bottle of Sprite and a roll of Mentos?
Jailbreaking your Jesus may invalidate your warranty.
I thought is Middle Eastern descent Asian? Not trolling, Google doesn’t have a straight answer.
Technically, I believe it would depend where you draw the line for “Asian” . The people of the Middle East at around 0AD were descended from three sources: The people of the Steppes via Turkey and Georgia, The people of the Fertile Crescent, and the occasional Greco-Roman-Egyptian heritage, from recent migratory waves, caused by drought, famine, and plagues.
While the Middle East is located on the Asia continent, the Midden Eastern people are not as a rule not classed as Asian.
As a racial term, I think “Asian” is typically used by Americans to mean East-East-Asian (e.g. Japanese/Korean/Chinese/etc), and by the British to means South-Asian (Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi/etc). I don’t think I’ve seen anyone use “Asian” to refer to the race of the peoples around Israel/Palestine, even though it geographically it belongs to Asia.
As for whether the historical Jesus was “white”, from ancient descriptions we know that ancient Semitic peoples were whiter-skinned than the Egyptians, but I don’t know whether they’d be white enough to pass for what modern-day Americans consider “white”.
Geographically? Yes, the Middle East was traditionally considered a part of Asia. From a “racial” point of view, I think (?) most folks would classify historical Jesus as “Semitic” (duh) or “Mediterranean”, rather than Asian. Not that racial classifications ever made any sense, mind you…
TYT has also classified Jesus and Saint Nicholas as Arab/Mediterranean. Cenk also thanked Fox News for calling him “white”.
I’m just saying… If Ruth carried the baby…
Would she be nice?
Hmm, pregnancy can cause mood swings, due to fluctuating hormone levels as well as all the stresses it places on the body, so it would have a chance to ramp Ruth up to Turbo-bongoiness.
Like my ex…
So she would remain pretty much the same?
More important: Who would be niece?
As Billie treats Walky like a sibling, maybe the presidents daughter?
where have I seen that Joyce face before?
Probably in your nightmares, before she filtered you through her baleen grin along with the rest of the world.
It was released as art a couple months ago on the Tumblr. I had it as my phone background for a while.
OMG Joyce. ^__^ <3
Happy Joyce is adorable Joyce
OMG Joyce, calm down lol. Flying eyebrows, immediately followed by the return of the dreaded triangle grin, we’ve reached critical excitement mass.
Then Billie drops the “I’m in love with Ruth” bomb, causing everyone to go crazy.
Am I the only one imaging that Joyce is poking Billie with her girl-boner in the last panel?
No. No you are not the only one. The last panel contains much girl-boner.
That’s because you’re both high
High on Life!
Is that really a side hug in the last panel? It’s more of a regular hug from behind.
Who you think you’re kidding?
She’s the Earth and Heaven to ya!
Try to keep it hidden.
Honey we can see right through ya!
Girl, ya can’t conceal it
We know how ya feel and
Who you’re thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinking oooooooooof
the Mary gravatar gives this an entirely different and unfortunate context…
What do you mean? This is DoA — there are no unfortunate contexts.
Aproved!
It’s too cliché, I won’t say I’m in love
Go fat Jesus save her from the love….
Wait is that what fat Jesus does?
“All life is suffering.”
In a word, yes.
God, blushing Billie is way too cute.
She looks… happy, relaxed and completely adorable
Funny how her question is “what are you going to name you kids,” instead of what’s his name.
Joyce is a typical romantic: knows will be married some day and is just auditioning for the role of husband
Since she never watched a Disney movie before I think
The movie Frozen would be perfect for her.
I look forward to Joyce trying to awkwardly maintain her positive outlook when she realizes Billie is in love with a woman.
“…That is fantastic.”
Yeah, that’s about right. I wonder if Mary will be the one to out Billie to Joyce.
I eagerly await an answer to that question.
I eagerly await for the look on everyone’s faces when it sinks in that Billie is in lesbians with Ruth.
It shouldn’t come as a complete surprise to Joyce, given that the topic did come up at least once before…
Actually, I’m not sure how hard it will be for Joyce — my sense is that we keep underestimating her fundamentally Christian outlook. For all her idiocies, she’s shown herself to be willing to confront the bigoted environment where she was raised and decide whether its tenets were good or evil.
Look:
Dorothy — Atheist
Dorothy/Walky — unrepentant premarital hanky-panky
Amber — “ex-girlfriends are not inescapably hatable”
Ethan — gay, but now we know why she needs to be his beard
Joyce is actually painted as quite an amazing young woman. , and, for her own good if not Becky’s, she’s changing blindingly fast, for the better.
I think that’s more a “Christian full nelson” than a Christian side hug.
Things are getting better!
“Christian side-hug”? It looks more like a wrestling pin to me…
God, throw a net on her. Joyce is freakin’ annoying.
Billie is cute 🙂
Joyce is going to be very disappointed. Though if she knew any science she could just recommend Ruth and Billie go with in-vitro egg to egg fertilization.
Yeah, disappointment is inevitable, she thought Billie would have better taste in women.
Yes, this comic is just rife with good, responsible adults to bang, isn’t it?
Well, there’s Dorothy, and… um… uh……. Asma maybe?
Ruth is a self-destructive, depressed, suicidal, alcoholic. She’s pretty much the bottom of the girlfriend barrel, only Mary would be a worse choice. Why not hook up with Daisey? She’s into girls and her only character flaw shown is that she’s really sexually frustrated.
Also totally
okay with Billie putting the moves on her.
I’m pretty sure you know this, but daisy is also in a position of authority over Billie (or was), and was pretty blatantly making her uncomfortable with her horniness, like treating Billie’s harassment as schlick material. And just to get them out of the way, Mandy and Grace probably don’t have the maturity (or interest) in a poly relationship with Billie.
Don’t let dislike of Ruth blind you to the fact that pretty much nobody in focus is particularly mature or datable by adult standards.
Also, we’re talking about Billie. She’s only not suicidal on that list, and that’s only for now (pr hopefully ever). She should be avoided by nearly everyone with the same zeal you advertise for Ruth.
But she doesnt know any science, so that’s off the table, unfortunately. I look forward to her reaction when she finds out who Billie is in love with. It will be hilarious 🙂
Indeed. We are, after all, talking about the girl who called Billie her ‘hero’ for standing up to Ruth a.k.a. ‘that bully.’
Joyce implosion is imminent.
What, they can do that now? I am so…old. I thought they still needed sperm. After hearing about the recent development of turning skin cells into germ cells, I figured the next step would be to get a sperm from one woman to fertilize the egg of another. But if they can go egg to egg, none of that is necessary.
You can’t get sperm from women.
But all you need is two sets of half-chromosomes, so they can take the chromosomes from one egg and implant them into the other egg. It’s pretty interesting, actually.
It’s now possible to turn adult stem cells into egg and sperm cells, but it has only been done with mice.
I mean you can from some women but generally not cis women
I was referring to recent research where they started with a skin cell and ended up with either a sperm or an egg, can’t remember which. I think I remember the germ cell could be the opposite of the donor’s naturally produced germ cells, i.e., sperm could come from women, eggs from men. Don’t remember the species of the subjects. They were saying it may eventually be used to treat infertility, but I remember thinking, “why not same-sex couples?” I may have remembered it wrong, and I do not feel like an involved Internet search.
No, they can’t o_O Dunno why Eromoffle said that. I mean, science is *getting* there fast, but it isn’t there just yet. It’s safe to bet that we’ll get to see it in our lifetimes, though.
Jennifer Jr, Wayne, David, and then the twins: Mary and Jon
I think that’s the happiest Joyce smile ever, and that’s saying something.
“I think that’s the
happiestscariest Joyce smile ever, and that’s saying something.”FTFY
I’m reminded of MegaTokyo, specifically the face that Yuki’s friend Asako made when she found out Yuki “liked” a boy (who, as we find out in the next strip, “everyone” but Yuki knew had been crushing on her for years).
Gaze into the face of fear.
… bloody tags.
Joyce is actually a pretty good fount of simple joy…
ce.
I want to feed on Joyce’s eventual shock and disappointment.
I’m now trying to imagine a fat Jesus… would they have to make the cross bigger?
Communion pumpernickels instead of wafers.
Are they Scarlet?
I’ve had regular Communion Wafers, having them be actual pumpernickle would probably be an improvement
My wife can’t have gluten. Communion is quite a production for her.
Fat Jesus balances out the two skinny ones.
That alt text is so great.
Leave room for Jesus and put those eyebrows back where they belong young lady.
…before somebody with velcro walks by and you never see them again.
Five kids, Joyce? Really?! Is this some kind of Christian thing?
This should answer your question:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk
And enlightened am I.
Glad to be of service.
Maybe fundie girls are trained to extrapolate from the size of a woman’s hips or something?
…or she comes from a big family and extrapolates from her own experiences, you know, like all of us do.
Maybe.
Joyce unleashes her ultimate attack.. FULL NELSON!
Of course there’s a fat Jesus! He balances out the two skinny ones!
Unless it’s the other way around…I may need to rewatch some Monty Python.
Oh my god xD. I remember in my baptist church, there where signs all around that told boys and girls to leave room for the holy spirit, and to have at least one bibles length between themselves.
So… Do the tiny pendant-versions count? 😉
Heh fat Jesus
And I wonder how Joyce will react when she finds out its Ruth….
like the panel
there was a “last” before “panel,” I swear
Ok, Joyce is creeping me out in that next to last panel.
Why not just leave room for the Holy Ghost? It’s much more cozy.
Here’s that Ruth and Billie playlist I threatened to make: http://8tracks.com/amandaskankovich/until-the-end-of-everything/edit. It ended up being longer than I originally planned XD
Ack! Panel 5 scary Joyce is going to eat my soul!
How has no one linked this yet?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa0EtdtPi8w
Oh boy, I can’t wait to see Joyce face when she will learn that it’s a girl and there can’t be any kids ^^
At least this is not Shortpacked universe yet to do so.
From other side I want to see Ruth acting like she is in love, 100% time more angry and bongoy to others.
Science says “yes, we can.” It’s just, y’know, expensive and not within the means of a couple college students.
Things are suddnly so nice…
Why are things suddenly so nice?
What is coming?
Midterms.
Winter
Mary.
There’s no clear evidence that Mary gets off on tormenting other people. She’s probably no more than a sadistic psychop…
Yeah… Nevermind
Valdez
That’s good reporter instincts there, Dorothy. I’m pretty sure you will figure out who is the lucky person first. And yet again have too much power of another person (also, have your femurs targeted by Ruth which is never a good thing)
…unless you’re Billie, then it’s a very good thing.
“side hug”. I just discovered “Sister Claire” and had been binge-reading it. The term “side hug” also appears in that comic as well.
Days when I wish I never moved away from Bloomington, Indiana in 1992 (or any year between then and tomorrow.)
I meant to say this before too, but I love that Dotty’s figured out the gist of it already. Billie’s so cute when she’s like this too; you know, when she’s not saying crazy shit like “hey let’s just forget about classes”. Actually that was kind of cute too, but also kind of ‘love makes you kinda Weird and dumb I keep forgetting’.
Now to hope mai waifu doesn’t find this post.
Happy Billy is adorable. It is almost like she doesn’t feel the need to be on the edge and fight everything for once
Next Slipshine comic concerns a threesome and is titled “Joyce and Billie leave room for Jesus”.
Her eyebrows are doing the Joe thing
Even for Joyce that look is one out of the box.
Alternate 4th panel:
“Guys, she’s in a premarital hanky-panky relationship.”
The following panels remain the same.
Ironies from hell to breakfast.
http://i.imgur.com/qUhjIz0.gifv
I was compelled.
I… I can’t look away…
BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE (blue-and-gold flying saucer enters from left) BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE (saucer splits in top and bottom half) BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE (Joyce is sitting in saucer, wiggling eyebrows) BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE (saucer halves recombine, starts to descend towards huge fortress with some kind of giant cross in front) BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE BWEE Bwee Bwee bwee bwee bwee bwee…
Methinks Dorothy has already put two and two together, judging by those eyebrows.
I never knew there was a way to tell a person that something was none of their business that didn’t sound assholish in some way. Just because of the phrase.
But this comic seems to have done so.
And this is why Dorothy will make president by 2028
I’m pretty sure Dorothy’s still going to be in her freshman year of college in 2028. She might have made it to second semester by then.
If my plans comes through (they require both me and Willis living forever) they’ll all have graduated by the heath death of the universe.
I have decided to post a list of the people who I imagine voicing Dumbing of Age characters, because why not.
Dorothy- Tara Strong as Twilight Sparkle
Joyce- Kristen Schaal as Mabel Pines
or Arleen Sorkin as Harley Quinn
Ruth- Alison Pill as Kim Pine
Danny- Jason Ritter as Dipper Pines
Sal- Ashleigh Ball as Applejack
Carla- Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley
In love? That’s so sweet. Maybe she actually is, that’s cool I didn’t know Billie that depth to her.
She’s definitely in lust, and that alone is adorable enough (I mean, look at that second and third panels. D’aww, gurl!) Love? Would be sweet, yeah. We’ll see ^^
it is just unreal how much air those eyebrows are getting
I’ve done Joyce’s job for her: Mary-Bob, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Stern.
Drop one Wayne and add a Garth! 🙂
Awesome
http://jw-jeong.deviantart.com/art/Do-You-Believe-in-Jesus-327131630
The instant I saw that last line, I had to.
Why do I sense storms on the horrizon Willis?
Really? Nobody’s pointing out the fact that Joyce appears to be lifting Billie there?