DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN
That was my first thought too.
that is exactly the sound I made XD
Actually, it also could be a glass shattering sound!
If Billie wanted a violent, nerd-rage, and possibly satanic murder story to cover for Daisy, this is it.
Totally my reaction as well! And then I look down and see this first comment. Win!
you need this;
come to think of it…where did that sound come from anyway?
I was thinking a car screech
Joyce’s brain just blew a few fuses, I can tell.
Nah it didn’t blow a few fuses. It blew an entire freaking portion of her mind into oblivion and the rest into a catatonic state that can only be repaired via being poked vigorously with a stick.
ehh, just play the Sound of Music. She’ll be fine.
sarpiedon, I don’t know who you are, but I love you with all the love a webcomic nerd can give.
“How can she love satan and hate humanity? She don’t look a killer psicopath, innocent women rapist nor a baby eater!?”
Innocent women rapist? She’s a lesbian too? *GASP!*
Oh geez, here we go…
This comment improved 70% by your avatar.
Half of these comments become hilarious if you read them with the persona of their avatar.
A quiet and unheard observation?
Joyce is broken. We need to buy a new Joyce.
I’m starting to see how some people could hate Joyce.
Why would people have trouble feeling empathy for her? First a class full of lesbians, then her first date is with a pervert, now it turns out the only seemingly sane person she’s met so far is a heathen. What a poor, sheltered, ignorant, psychotic…. I withdraw my question…
technically to be a heathen you would have to follow the Norse Pantheon, Odin, Thor, etc
That’s the only definition of the word I know. Which are you using? This sounds like some kind of religious jargon, and if I said it to the wrong group of people they would assume I was referring to followers of Thor. As such, details would be appreciated.
In some neo-pagan circles heathen is used to refer to Norse pagans. So, yes, Eposi is speaking using a subculture-specific jargon.
Sweet! Called it!
Thanks for the info. That makes sense. Sometimes Pagan’s need a word to refer to “The other Pagans” I guess.
“The other Pagans”.
Is that anything like “The other white meat?”
Heathendom isn’t restricted to only Norse Mythology, as Gangler already (dammit) has pointed out.
As long as you don’t follow the Bible, you’re a ‘Heathen’.
So what’s it called you don’t follow the “One True Dictionary”? Do the Wikites fight with the Websterians? Are the Encyclogians in an endless war against the Thesaurians? (yes, I know… a thesaurus isn’t a dictionary, but still… it sounded funnier in my head)
Methinks you’re getting the definitions of “heathen” and “pagan” mixed up.
I always figured that the definition of a heathen is someone who doesn’t follow the same religion as you.
It is. “Pagan” has actual (if broad – that is to say, not limited to one pantheon) meaning; “heathen” is anyone who isn’t you.
The words pagan and heathen are pretty much interchangeable.
I don’t care that the neo-pagans say different. They’re just a bunch of heathens anyways.
I have to be honest, I would like Joyce even if she was a real person. Though to be fair I like interesting people more than likable people.
Dangerously violent and self-righteous? Not my definition of interesting. But I grew up in rural Georgia where you can find that on any block so maybe I’m just used to it.
Well, granted it helps if you also are/know someone very smart, so you can subtley trip them over their own beliefs without outright pissing them off. It’s like a game!
I think you and I have different definitions of the word “like”.
I’ve lived with crazy arseholes all my life, I had to find some way to deal with it.
This is her first experience with people who aren’t religious. As of yet, she hasn’t actually handled herself that poorly. A lot of people approach beliefs that are different from theirs with hate or immediately dismiss those who disagree, and Joyce hasn’t done that. She went on a date with Joe even though he was Jewish. Sure, she wanted to eventually convert him to Christ, but she didn’t think he was a terrible person or completely dismiss him because he wasn’t Christian. She may not handle the race thing perfectly, but she’s curious and interested, not hateful or fearful. She seems like a nice enough person, just sheltered and ignorant to the ways of the world.
I would rather have someone dismiss me and be done with them than have them try to convert me to their brand of crazy.
As opposed to your own brand of crazy?
Do you really believe that? Religion and politics are touchy subjects, but we go through every day of our lives trying to convert people to our brand of crazy. Our favorite foods, movies, music. Our opinions on drugs, relationships, families, jobs, weather. The fact that she’s not dismissing them means that she might take the chance to learn more about them and expand her world, whereas dismissing them means she’d remain ignorant and sheltered forever.
Speaking for myself, *I* really believe that. I’m not busy trying to convert anyone to anything. My hobbies, clothes, food tastes, etc? Mine alone, and I don’t care that other people have different preferences. Religion? Even more so.
I’m happy to live and let live, so if you can’t handle me having different tastes, then at least have the decency to leave me alone.
Now, wanting to just understand rather than preach? That I would be perfectly fine with. But you don’t really think that someone like Joyce would be interested in that, do you?
I like you. Out of all the comments (with the exception of two or three others) you’re one of the few whose managed to actually look at the character Joyce with out putting on your SELFRIGHTEOUS tinted classes as well as not openly hating her just because she was sheltered into a narrow line of belief and thought.
OH DEAR GOD WHY DID I GET THAT FAAAAAAAACE! -_- freaking gravatar
My favorite part is actually Walky’s continued “oh crap it’s Dorothy” expression in the background.
A million times THIS. I love that facial expression.
Also, long-time reader, first-time commenter
Oh man, I just noticed, that’s great.
Yeah. I kind of wonder how the world looks through those vacant, awkward eyes he’s sporting. I want a comic in Walky-vision.
Now that you mention it, I also want this
‘scuse me, got business plans to write up, mounds of cash to make .
I imagine it’s probably an overlay of the world as it would normally look, but constructed out of a mosaic of images of Dorothy from every time he’s encountered her.
Walky’s expression when he’s around Dorothy is just weird.
So now Dorothy has shattered Joyce’s and Walky’s brains. She’s good at this.
Obviously Dorothy is an eldritch abomination come to rob us all of our sanity :p
And we love her for that.
I-Yale i-Yale! Ivy ftaghn!
It’s called ‘an atheist’.
I choose to believe that since we can’t see Joe in the previous panel that Joyce’s reaction is not to what Dorothy said, but rather that her ass just got grabbed. The facial expression still works for my version.
Joyce and Mike spent an entire evening beating the every loving shit out of Joe. Do you really think he’s that stupid or that much of a masochist to pinch the ass of a nut ball like Joyce? I would have liked to have though Joe had some basic self-preservation instincts.
But are they stronger than his Joe instincts?
We shall see.
Actually, his Joe instincts would probably urge him not to grab her ass. His goal is not random harassment, but actual Joeing opportunities. Grabbing Joyce’s ass would not only be pointless in this regard, but would actually kill future Joeing opportunities with any woman there to witness the scene – and Joyce would definitely make one (and rightly so).
Besides, his Joeing instincts seem to have been directed at Roz for the moment. To his credit, Joe is more interested in finding a woman who’s actually interested in Joeing than in making some sort of “conquest”.
He’s a Joetilitarian. The greatest Joe for the greatest number.
Don’t overstate what was done to Joe. It’s inconsistent with what he did with Roz later that evening, let alone with walking out of the restaurant in the condition we see him.
Your version amuses me greatly.
Can’t it be both?
This is going to be the greatest story arc in the comic. I say that without irony or sarcasm.
The final panel is magnificent already.
Time to bring the fists back out.
GASP! Is right! YIPE!
I think I may have a new steam spray (panel 4). Tho I dunno if I really want to replace this or not: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/03379_2.gif
I suppose its too much to hope that Joyce is going to respect Dorthy’s beliefs and not desperately try and convert her to her beliefs like she wanted to do with Joe, huh?
Oh who am I kidding… This is going to hurt…
She’s been raised to believe that it’s her duty as a Christian to Witness at every opportunity, and that she’s doing her Witnessees a favor by doing so. If you tried to explain the concept of “respecting others’ beliefs” to her, she would understand it as a) passing on chances to rescue people from Hell, and b) allowing the Godless world to shame her into keeping silent about Christ’s message – both of which are things she was specifically warned against before she went off to a secular college (people from families and churches like hers always are). It wouldn’t end well.
Yeah, I know, but it would still be nice to hope that she wouldn’t be a pushy bible thumper.
I’m looking to buy the definitive David Willis collection. However in the store i only see Shortpacked volume 2 and 3 and “it’s Walky”. What would you guys recommend?
I think you could put almost anything in the dialogue for the third panel and the last panel would make it comedy gold.
Dorothy: Well, I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dorothy: My shoes are made in Taiwan.
Dorothy: I have Fist Aids.
Dorothy: Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you had been abducted by aliens as a kid?
oh god haha XD
I smell a meme waiting to be born~
Dorothy: I just farted. Take a breath!
Dorothy: Personally, I think hair metal should make a comeback.
Dorothy: Code word, ‘whiskey tango foxtrot’.
Dorothy: Actually, God is a gigantic cheese-like robot. Who knew?
I could do this all day.
Dorothy: Could you show me your FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE?
Dorothy: I can totally see you & that Walky kid getting married.
Or who needs marriage, really? You should totally have premarital hanky-panky!
Dorothy: Pick up the glowing branch and give Him a call. We need to settle this.
Dorothy: We’re just characters in an AU reboot of a comic made over a decade ago.
Dorothy: Right now, some guy is reading about our lives. He’s probably not wearing pants either. (note: I AM wearing pants)
Dorothy: Can you believe it’s not butter?
Dorothy: Hey, Joyce, what’s one divided by zero?
That last one is my favourite.
Dorothy: I am your father.
Dorothy: I am your long lost sister.
Dorothy: You and I have just given birth to a meme.
Dorothy: He’s male. And he’s late on my alimony. Again.
Dorothy: I want to Joe you up ’til you’re normal.
Dorothy: You spin me round, baby, like a time loop baby, right round round round…
Dorothy: Say, is Doctor Bian totally tripping everyone else’s gaydar?
Dorothy: Look out! Walky’s got a knife!
Dorothy: I am actually a man and am desperately in love with you!
Dorothy: The ultimate answer is 42!
Dorothy (holding up her iphone): Speaking of two girls, have you ever seen this video?
Dorothy: Gotta go, playing D&D in the common room.
Dorothy: You’re not the most popular character.
Dorothy: Look shock and confused, quick!
Although I find it hard to believe Joyce has never encountered atheism first-hand before, that is one loltastic face in the last panel. Well done, sir.
I never met an atheis until college myself. Rural America is a very sheltered and non-diverse environment. In Joyce’s case she grew up with all her socialization being through church and Christian group home-schooling. Probably not many atheists attending either of those.
It’s easier than you might think. Some of my high school classmates could have been atheists for all I knew, but if they were, they never mentioned it. Topics like the existence/nonexistence of god(s) didn’t have a place in any of my classes, members of the “in” crowd all professed to be Christians, and in the group I hung out with through school, there was one Catholic, a handful of folks of different Protestant denominations, a guy who was into Eastern religions, and a couple of pagans. So, between attending a public school with a huge percentage of Christian students, growing up in a Christian family, doing choir, youth group, and spending spring break on choir tours, I wasn’t aware of a single person who claimed to be an atheist until my third or fourth year at college.
Well, until my second year of university, I had never encountered anyone (my age) who was outright religious. Well, I guess I technically had, but I didn’t realse they were relgious until much later.
So, I guess I can kinda see how Joyce was able to do the opposite.
lol, looks like someone broke Joyce =D
I feel bad for Joe. His heart will be broken into thousands of tiny pieces. And the Roz hate will intensify.
Oh come on guys, I LOVE Joyce. I’d love her in real life too. She’s so sheltered, every day would be hilarious with her.
*Joyce high five*
Willis, I am totally waiting for you to bring in a character that will explain to Joyce the inconsistencies between Christ’s actual teachings and what her pastor’s been telling her all her life.
That would be very, VERY entertaining.
Gasp in the FAAAAAAACE!
Because no one has done it yet
oops beaten by a minute
Now…Joyce…It’s OK for Dorothy’s beliefs to differ from your own…
Please don’t go psycho on her!!
Might as well tell the rain not to fall, or the sun not to rise.
Don’t… psycho… Joyce… respect…
…I understand each word INDIVIDUALLY, but when I try stringing them together it just turns into gibberish.
v.v Sadly, Joyce has done nothing to keep me from disagreeing with this statement.
If that’s Joyce’s reaction to an atheist, I’m kinda afraid to see her reaction to meeting a Pagan…
Actually, she might handle it better. “Following false gods” fits into her worldview. “Doesn’t believe in any god” just doesn’t compute.
You’ve never lived in rural Texas, have you?
Brain = broken yes?
I want her to meet a hot wicka follower and then break out the holy water supersoaker, joe would be involved
I’m going to assume you meant Wicca?
Do we need to care?
Maybe DrDVD meant ‘wicker.’
Followers of wicker worship bees, right?
last panel face is the best face ever
Next comic: without changing her expression at all, Joyce goes, “Really? That’s… neat.”
Apparently Joyce subscribes to the Sicilian response with regard to John Lennon’s lyrical proposal concerning an absence of heavens.
Y’know, I’m not a Christian either, but I really hate that song.
At least she seems to know the definition of atheist… maybe…
That’s exactly what I was gonna say. Her mind can’t be TOO blown because at least she’s heard of the concept of atheism. Now if Dorothy had said, “I don’t believe in a God,” and Joyce made that face, we couldn’t even be sure if she had ever even conceived of someone who doesn’t believe in God.
Or maybe she is going to think she is a hollywood version of an atheist, driven by trauma to renounce god and will try to “convert” her back… or maybe not.
No, you’re probably right – or would be, if Joyce was real. God is so central to her life that she can’t comprehend someone actually not believing
I’d bet on it. She did want to pull a Parent Trap with regards to Joe’s parents.
First panel highlight: Joe tracking Roz with his eyes and wondering if a second round is worth it.
Wow, did not notice that. I love when a comic has little details like that.
Yay. She broke.
… it had to be said.
Also, shut your FAAAACE!
Oh, this should be fun. Personally I’d have loved the chance to drop that one on Joyce, being an athiest myself.
fate has decided to give you a Joyce icon for the fuck of it. Fitting
I know, right?
hahahaha Joyce’s FAAAAAACE is so awesome in the last panel
Joyce has had some really fantastic expressions so far. Like panel four over here.
Which expression is better? I think we need to have a FAAAAAACE-off.
You better prey the wind doesn’t change, or your face will get stuck that way.
One minder, please.
Mindwiper*. . .wow.
I wonder how Leslie would have handled Joyce’s question. I, myself, in college days, have had near-Joyce level bad reactions, although not usually over overtly religious issues. I’m STILL flabbergasted whenever I come up against “King James Version Only” folks. (Nota Bene 1: There are valid reasons for standardizing upon the King James Version for worship and even for group study, but these reasons and rationales do not deprecate the accuracy or validity of other translations, or texts in other languages. Nota Bene 2: I still remember a near riot at an “ecumenical” all-Christian service were the should-have-known-better Catholic priest quoted from the Book of Tobit).
WAY TO GO YOU JUST BROKE JOYCE.
Insert rage face.
The best part is, Joyce is going to have that look on her face fpr the rest of the day. So, by the end of the semester, how many people is Joyce going to have to “save” from their misguided beliefs?
Nearly all, I suspect. I also suspect that her success rate will be nil. Someone who’s been raised on the Obvious Truth Of The Bible (or any other dogma), with little exposure to other viewpoints, has no idea of how hard it really is to change people’s minds. I mean, when your religious text is the central authority of your life, how do you even communicate with people who don’t accept it? What do you even say when you give a Bible quote that you’d been told was a magic bullet, just to have someone say “Yeah, and?”
Take a look at a Jack Chick tract if you can stand it. Chances are good that Joyce really does think it will be that easy, and she’ll be shocked when it’s not.
Plus she maye be confused because Dorothy doesn’t look hideous like atheists do in the Tracts. (Granted they all look hideous- but for the atheist characters even more so).
Joyce is a Jack Chick fan? That explains the FAACCEEEE!
….oh god if she freaks out of make a big deal about it THEN will you have someone punch her out? …it’s becoming a VERY real desire.
But if she’s unconscious, how can we mess with her head and destroy her worldview anymore? That’s no fun.
If she’s unconscious, we can’t even try to Joe her .
Best Joyce face ever!
Damn. *Starts rifling through drawers to find Joyce’s warranty*
Yeah, that’s pretty much the reaction I get IRL. I just try to avoid talking about it so I don’t have to deal with burning in hell and whatnot.
Your icon is adoraable and goes well with your statement.
I also try not to mention it much to avoid hastles honestly. For me it’s more of a “here we go…” thing usually.
Although I usually hate this type of people, I just can’t hate Joyce.
Must be the pretty blue eyes.
We all know it’s just a hop, skip, and a jump until we get to Anti-Joyce again. Then she shacks up with Walky
Honestly I have trouble envisioning any relationships except the original ones, even those I started reading Dumbing of Age first. I have to say that I DID appreciate Joyce’s growth and transformation out of a sheltered bible-thumper.
You could hear the terror in her unscreaming face.
Joyce, if they’re talking about Yahweh, then yes it passes, since Yahweh is neither male nor female. Same goes for the Holy Spirit. However, if they’re talking about Jesus, then no, since that part of the Trinity is the only one in human form, thus the only one needing a gender.
Also, Dorothy, you’re mistaken. Atheism isn’t a belief there is no God. Atheism is belief of nothing. More likely you’re a secular humanist. Secular humanism basically believes that there is no god and that an individual is his or her own ultimate moral authority.
Um…no, actually atheism really is the belief that there is no god or gods. It’s right there in the word. Secular humanism is an atheist philosophy, but hardly the only one.
I’m pretty sure Bill is thinking of Nihilism.
WE BELIEF IN NOFFINK!
…Sorry, that’s my inherent reaction to nihilism. I had never heard of it before seeing a certain film and therefore that’s instantly where my mind goes where I hear the word.
Yeah that movie really ties the room together
What’s “I believe (temporarily) in the opposite of whatever you believe in, because you’re being a douche about it and I want to troll you until your head explodes?”
That’s my religion. I shall call it “Jerkassism.” (Or maybe “Mikeology.”)
Nah, Yahweh is pretty definitely male. In the earliest versions of the mythology, He even had a wife. As Judaism became more strictly monotheist, she got retconned out of the scriptures, although there are still hints here and there if you know where to look.
Where should we look?
Though it’s hard for me to take seriously. The whole point of large parts of the Old Testament are about how the Israelites kept on borrowing other gods for their temples, which made God mad, and why he kept on punching them in the face with history. It’s no big deal for the JudeoChristian faith if archeologists dig up other names.
I have to say that this was probably the best face, pardon; FAAAAAAACEEE Joyce ever made in all those years. XD
lold @ last panel
I wonder if Joyce’s family are one of those who are ‘no Halloween for you!’, like my dad was. If so, I look forward to her experiencing her first halloween, I am given to understand that in America it’s a pretty massive deal XD
You never got to trick or treat as a kid? Bummber.
And I WISH I could say it was a massive deal here, but it seems to be fading out I think, at least around here. All the kids trick or treat early rather than at night and it seems like fewer kids are doing it.
If people wouldn’t look at me funny or if I had a group to go with me I’d go trick or treating still <.< the one time I did I did with a girl I was friends with. Everyone thought we were getting candy for our non-existant baby or something. Caused an awkward fizzle out prretty quickly.
Last Halloween I and a friend went as zombie versions of our poltitical opposites.
He, being a Democrat, went as “Red Zombie,” dressed in camo and a confederate flag, thumping a tattered Bible and moaning “Faaaaamily Vaaaaalues!”
I went as “Blue Zombie.” Distressed “O” T-shirt, open mind (plus leaking brains), and moaning “Chaaaaaaange! CHAAAAAANGE!!”
Whenever we approached a crowd of people we’d ineffectually attack each other.
Much fun was had. Also, candy.
“Blue zombie” needed a National Public Radio tote bag.
That.. is Awesome
Omigod, poor Joyce. Look at her horrified face!!
I’m laughing while I can because soon, it’s not gonna be so funny anymore.
Ok, so that last paned is perfect for becoming a meme, or at least useful for a demotivational image.
Walky’s face still reminds me of one of these: http://www.sillyjokes.co.uk/wacky/gags/popping-martian.html
And now, so does Joyce’s!
aw, Joyce. I’ve given people that reaction when they found out (I live around a place with a lot of Joyce-like raised people)! But except for one or two cases, they were pretty nice after.
hmm, i see this ending well. or, something close to awesome, but only if joe can get them into a jelly wrestling competition.
Dorothy, you have broken our Joyce. We demand a Joyce of equal or greater value.
Seriously, someone make that last panel a Gravatar.
Damn, you beat me to it and why does it still show Joe’s face instead of my new Grav?
Joebo we have the same gravatar. I’m sorry but I might have to Jack you.
(Willis, introduce a character named Jack and I will probably die.)
I’ve photoshopped such a Gravatar, I just hope it shows up next to my handle.
And… cue the world crashing down.
So, uh, who likes my new Gravatar?
Me! DoA has pretty much all of the best faces Willis has ever drawn.
Dorothy is now my favorite, at least temporarily. Of course, Mike would do it just to bother Joyce, so…
I kind of hate Joyce so I support the destruction of Joyce’s world.
I get that all of your characters are based on stereotypes, but Joyce has to be the most unbelievable.
Joyce is autobiographical.
I wonder how many of the readers made a Joyce face after reading that.
<— mfw I read David's post
I just cheered. Me too, Willis. Me too.
Reality is unrealistic.
If it wasn’t, why’d we read?
Hahaha whut, you pissed off a hot biker chick in college and/or zapped yourself with an amnesia gun to forget about PREMARITAL HANKY PANKYYYYYYYYYY???
That doesn’t mean she isn’t unbelievable?
Surely we all know that fiction is more believable than complete truth?
I wish I lived on your planet where this didn’t happen IRL. Seriously it must be awesome.
You know what else you need, one of those annoying “agnostic not atheist” kids.
I wonder, does Willis research youth culture or anything foer this strip? I want the spirit of the youth of the current years in this comic, dammit. David might be getting oold to be able to write some of that.
That reminds me, we totally need some after-its-expiration-date youth slang in this comic. Rad to the max!
I’ve had to use ‘agnostic not atheist’ as a defense from some people. ‘No, it’s not that I think you’re wrong, necessarily, it’s that I don’t know!’ Even if I do happen to think they’re wrong. Spin management, I guess you could say.
Y’know, getting Joyce’s reaction from a stranger wouldn’t bother me as much as getting it from relatives did. That was a fun ride to the airport.
Had almost this exact conversation with a coworker last night.
I have this conversation pretty often. Apparently I give off a strong “christian vibe” or whatever, which is silly when you really consider the stuff I say.
Give me an hour with Joyce and her world will be falling down around her sheltered little ears.
-sighs- It’s such a good thing my friends aren’t religious.
Joyce_Brown.exe has encountered a problem and needs to close. We are sorry for the inconvenience.
“I don’t think either,” I’m sorry, but that sounds hilarious.
You know, people like Joyce seem to only exist to give Christianity a bad reputation.
I genuinley don’t get why people hate this version of Joyce she’s exactly as pre-mindwipe Walkyverse Joyce.
I love this Joyce, that is really fun to see a comic character who is both a fundie and a genuinely nice person. She reminds me of the theoretical atheists that reddit complains about all the time. That being said, I can call with a decent amount of certainty that there will be a crisis of face moment for Joyce. Personally I hope it leads to lesbianism, with the best case scenario having her hooked up with a different Walkerton twin in each universe.
Anyone else hear Psycho strings in the background of the last panel?
Can’t wait until she meets her first Wiccan or Pagan. >.>
I could have talked about this any other time I read through, but I’ll do it now. I was arguably as naive about stuff that Joyce is before I went into boarding school at 11. Nothing my parents fault, I just came to the conclusion that everyone in the western world was christian, everyone in Israel was Jewish and all Arabs were Muslim. The concept of atheism simply didn’t exist to me until that point.
I mean now I know it’s a hell of a lot more complicated, so my default assumption is other people are gonna be atheist until they tell me otherwise.
I’m really glad I didn’t read Roomies now.
Dun dun dunnnn…
Ooohh, here we go and political war between christianity continues
The first time I was in the deep south by myself, a beggar at the bus station asked me for change and said it was the Christian thing to do. I told him I was an atheist and (after explaining what that meant) he got that same look on his face.
Someone needs to make an animated gif of Joyce’s eyeballs exploding using the last panel. It would be gross, but epic.
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