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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 8d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 8d
Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social ⋅ 19hDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 8d
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 8d
Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg @theradr.bsky.social ⋅ 21d
Gwen Snyder is uncivil @gwensnyder.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Ash Parrish @adashtra.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
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(he/him)
Weeeeeeeee
Ah Walky. Growing up.
Also, alt text is true.
That wasn’t supposed to be the plan.
Yeah, the plan calls for a 500 tubs of caramel…and marshmallows.
Well he already has all the caramel anybody’d ever need just by standing still.
Where do you think he gets the caramel. He needs to soak at least once a week.
I think Dorothy’s reserved that for a while.
And there’s the marshmallows! Now all they need is Joyce and everyone’ll have the best s’mores ever.
Are you calling Joyce a cracker?
Joyce is more white bread than a cracker.
And white bread goes best with tuna.
Yep, with the bread and tuna remark, this thread reached that point. That point.
…where it becomes the BEST thread.
Wait, am I missing something?
Aizat, I was going to be all, “Wait, what?” Then I Urban Dictionary’d it, and…okay, I now understand any confusion.
I’ve understood “tuna” to be definition 4 (and/or the “related words” word cloud) since middle school…didn’t realize all those other definitions were floating around out there. ^^; http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Tuna
Oh….I didn’t mean that…I was just hankering for some tuna sandwich.
I prefer toast and peanut butter.
That may or may not be a euphemism.
I’m hungry.
Whole wheat toast with organic peanut butter and honey. Yum.
Yes, but plan “Big Bucket ‘a Nuggets” was accomplished like 3 weeks ago ( in Comic Time).
That’s not a mission, that’s a lifestyle!
And plan “SuperDew” is still waiting for his government application to be processed.
Mountain Dew is well known to be made from nuclear waste, and you need to fill out lots of paperwork to be allowed to stockpile it in the quantities Walky intends.
I’d rather go with plan Nes…that’s stacking your fridge with a lot of canned coffee.
That comment is unfair to nuclear waste.
i knew a guy who used to work at taco bell and would drink mountain dew syrup. he was surprisingly chill.
He wasn’t supposed to like girls, either.
That’s when you have a psychic spiritual projection shaped like a barrel, isn’t it?
…what?
You’re 100%
proofright.Get Back Jojo
to where you once belonged?
MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA
Also known as falling off the speedwagon.
But you will withdraw coolly…and a tad afraid.
God dammit, I love this comment. I’m beaming that love to you now; it may feel somewhat like hate, because it is also that.
Walky has learned GuiltTrip!
It’s super effective!
But Walky can only learn four moves! What did he forget?
Calculus.
You can’t forget Calculus…it’ll haunt you in your nightmares.
You can never truly know Calculus but Calculus knows you.
Virginity.
Virginity is a move now? Is it physical or special?
Physical, I’d guess. It’s one of those throwaway moves that can be replaced by pretty much any move except Splash and not be a loss.
I heard that the Japanese word for splash was bukkake, so…
Wait…what?
(Huh, my comment doesn’t seem to have posted. Apologies if a longer version of this posts as a double-post.)
Yes, that seems to be correct! That makes me extra-happy about the time I hoarded Magikarp and Splashed the frack out of every opponent I encountered. XD
It is. I know this because your post reminded me of an article written several years ago about the “coffee bukkake man,” which is really just some guy driving up to random girls and spitting coffee on them.
Japan has the best weirdos. O.O
I ate a bowl of bukkake udon in Tokyo. It was okay.
It’s a status move, causing a social status either positive or negative depending on the target.
It deterres dragons.
And befriends unicorns.
Wheee, guess who just got into this comic via a two day archive binge? (spoiler alert: it was me)
Also, I know it’s not accurate, but I have thus far imagined all of of Sal’s dialog to be said in a Scottish accent.
That never occurred to me, but since it would mean I can imagine she’d voiced by Karen Gillan, I’m willing to give it a try.
Welcome to the fold then.
I had a one night binge
started reading at midnight, went to sleep at 9 am. Worth every fuckin’ strip!
I just got back into this, if that’s any consolation. Last I remember, they found Dina on a beach…
I just spent too long looking for it to no avail, but there’s a Flash cartoon where Sal [and Walky] speak. Instead I have Danny/Joe and Walky/Joyce for your perusal
and now to wait… again… some more… damn it willis xD
winter is coming, Soul.
At least, you got to keep your friends…then you can invite them to your own kegstand. With blackjacks and hookers.
In fact, forget the friends.
I’m, uh, assuming “blackjack” no longer refers to a leather pouch filled with lead pellets?
My, uh… Some of my slang may be a little out of date. By, I guess, uh…eighty years? Oh well?
I thought that was a SAP …. no relation to I.T.
As for Blackjack, I thought that was a card game using one of those quaint 52 card decks based on medieval social hierarchy.
Way to go Walky!
Cheezus Christ, Billie’s Astral Projecting into Walky. He’s possessed!
That actually makes since on how her about isn’t moving, Billie died last night the poor thing.
Ruthless! You do possibly have a heart!
Well, her heart did shrink 3 sizes on the day she found out Billie’s cheating on her with a bottle of booze.
It’s a sad day when you catch your girlfriend in bed with Jack Daniels next to her.
Hey, at least it’s not Bud….Bud’s crap, right? I never drink before so I don’t know.
Jack Daniels isn’t into dudes? Norm MacDonald lied to us!
Having buried friends due to the consequences of their (or others’) alcoholism? You have no idea how sad it can be…
billie had more than a LITTLE captain in here
in her*
She does! And she really really doesn’t want to see any evidence that Billie does, too.
Of course she has a heart. Its the thing that got crushed when she opened up to Billie and got stabbed in the back.
Yes, it is a lot easier to stab vital organs through the back. Our bodies failed to accommodate for this possibility.
Almost all animals have a weak spot, and for most of them it is the soft underbelly. As humans evolved and became bipedal the underbelly became the front, and since as upright primates early humans spent most of their time facing an enemy or prey the ribcage eventually became the main article of defense/protection. The back therefore became the new vulnerability.
I knew she had one. It may even be that of a hero. I only thought she kept in a jar in the back of her closet though.
That’s Eleanor Rigby, and it’s not a heart but a face that she keeps in a jar by the door.
Grrreeeaaattt, her heart’s got to come out of the closet. . . this is only furthered by the fact that she shows signs of being a lesbian.
I love how Walkie is setting up the best possible thing he could do to help Billie while being completely oblivious that’s what he’s doing.
It could also hurt the shit out of her so…
If at first you don’t succeed, redefine “success.”
Or if it at first you don’t succeed, aim lower.
That’s my advice for people who keep missing the toilets in public restrooms.
Actually that’s my advice against anyone trying to beat you up….especially if your attacker is male.
If at first you don’t succeed, drag your teeth.
He’s so smart even he doesn’t know it!
Walky, if you so much as touch a beer you will be vomiting violently.
From the gut punch or from the beer tasting like piss?
A gut punch from pickin’ a fight with Sal.
Well, DoA Sal can drink a beer and still be good enough to drive a motorcycle, so I’m guessing the Walkerton twins have stronger livers here than in the other universe.
that or she’s been building up a tolerance longer.
Not sure what will happpen, but I believe Walky will want to wash his bedsheets either way.
Vomit? Or other sources of liquid?
Possibly ALL the liquids.
That sounds sexy and gross, which to me is synonomous.
Bodily liquids is what puts me off sex the most… YEEK!
I’m mostly grossed out by lady parts. Which is wierd cuz I’m straight.
Sometimes it’s best not to look down.
Well…that is quite interesting.
I think dicks are ugly, and I’m bi and married to a man, so…yeah, just don’t look down. XD
But I’m afraid it’ll feel wierd. It certainly looks like it would.
But I look down everyday. Heck, I always look down
Betty Anne is right, dicks are funny looking things, which is why some people claim that they are the very basis for comedy.
They’re pretty good. I’m even fine with drawing them and everything. I just don’t want one on or in me.
How would you design sex without bodily fluids? Last time I looked moving parts were involved. Are you going to use magnetic bearings?
Thank you.
Powdered graphite.
Walky’s heart is in the right place here. Hopefully this will end with them helping each-other. And possibly a Slipshine comic. Most likely, though, it will end in our tears, Because they sustain Willis
Which is why he hate Johnson’s® Baby Products.
That’s good news. I was afraid his heart was in his shoulder. That’d be unfortunate.
Remember when personal growth was something you saw a specialist about to have removed?
Only if my insurance covers it.
Or if the growth isn’t sentient…or happens to be my brother.
Kegstands are what keep the keg from tipping over, right?
I thought it meant drinking a keg while standing perfectly still.
I thought it was like a music stand — something to bring the beer up to eye level.
It’s the Spiritual power of a Keg. It manifests itself. Only other Keg Stand users can see them.
I got that reference
Lying under the table is doing that quite well.
Isn’t it just standing on a keg?
It’s doing a handstand while balancing a keg on your feet.
I kinda assumed there will be drinking involved.
That’s what the tubing is for.
Let grandma teach you kids how to do a keg stand. http://youtu.be/kPWn7GXJX0Y
GRANDMA!? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE!? WHY DO YOU HAVE A MOUSTACHE!? D=
by the time they are old enough to be grandmas, most of them have mustaches.
XD +1
Aw, Walky won’t leave Billie if she really needs him. Hopefully Ruth means it and something will be accomplished.
I also liked how Walky was also showing True Friend colors with stating he was going to skip class in favor of dealing with a clearly-hurting Billie.
Walky, can I just take a minute to tell you how awesome you’re being at the moment? Because Billie’s clearly showing signs of serious depression and you’re trying to get her help and are willing to miss class again if it means she’d be alone otherwise. Good on you, Walky.
Of course, the fact that it’s Ruth may end up causing more problems, but were it not this specific situation you’d totally be in the right and as it is it’s still totally a good idea to have someone else looking out for her. Good going, Walky. There’s a lot of college students who could do with a friend like you.
And, as much as I’m ticked that Billie pissed away the start of a good relationship with Ruth because of her alcoholism, it IS technically still Ruth’s job to deal with it when someone comes to her with concerns about one of her students. If Billie lived in a different dorm, Ruth could tell Walky to go find that dorm’s R.A.
Ruth could send this up the chain of command and simply cite “irreconcilable differences” as the reason she couldn’t handle it, but I’m sure she’s A) still worried Billie might out her for her drinking (even if it puts Billie at risk for being outed too), and B) concerned about the iffiness of some of her other actions (relationship with someone she has power over, extorting the cheerleading uniform from another student, etc). Also, Ruth seems like the type of R.A. who takes her job seriously and actually wants to be good at it. Those things would incline her toward handling Billie herself, even if it sucks.
Ruth isn’t blameless here. Sure, Billie had been drinking behind Ruth’s back, but Ruth never offered to talk it out or even considered giving her a second chance. She just flat out applied zero tolerance, which means, zero thought.
Oh yeah, I know Ruth played her part. I was actually really disappointed she didn’t at least wait for an explanation – but then, I also understood her personal pain that Billie didn’t even know about, because alcoholism runs in my family, and I’ve walked that line myself, plus I’ve had friends AND family killed by drunk drivers (in separate incidents over 20 years apart), so I don’t normally have a lot of time for people who think their drinking problem isn’t a problem, especially if they have a history of drunk driving.
I think the only reason I have sympathy for Billie is because she’s SO young and could move past it if she’d just seek help. :/ She’s the kind of spoiled-naive that comes from being someone important in a small town and a nobody in the real world. (I also know how that happens, because even though I’ve been a nobody my whole life, I’ve also been a small town girl my whole life, and I’ve seen it happen over and over again.) Being bongo-slapped by reality sucks, but it extra-sucks when you’re someone who’s made it to theoretical adulthood without ever having to experience it. :/
Awww I love Walky.
I doubt doting Dotty will share.
Dormcest can be bad, but it’s especially rough for RAs.
“Billie will be fine,
Okay? Eventually. Fine,
just fine. Give her time.”
“Look, I promise I
Will talk to her. Go to class.
(Your guilt trip has worked.)”
David Walkerton
Finds the wrong girl in his bed
Good morning to you?
Did she even sleep?
Will everything be alright?
She won’t say what’s wrong.
A baffled Walky begs
Both the best and worst to ask:
Ruth “Ruthless” Lessick.
She from Canada,
Bizarre and terrifying,
Comes to Billie’s aid?
Get up, Jennifer
Wake up and smell the liquor
This is gonna hurt
*applauds both of you*
Someone’s gonna have to draw Billie doing a Keg Stand.
That opportunity was given a long time ago.
“Keg Stands with Sad Friends” sounds like a fun band name.
Yup.
whereas my brain leaps to “Sad Girl with Keg in Snow.”
My Freudian senses interpret you may have had a bad day recently at some social gathering?
That sounds like something Fred Gallagher would draw.
I might sense a broken promise in the offing. Is that just me?
I don’t think so. Ruth is feeling just a tiny bit bad for running off before. Sure, Billie tastes of alcohol, but maybe she can be fixed. (Of course, running off and making Billie utterly miserable was the best single way for Ruth to get Billie to fix herself. Awkwardly, doing the right thing in that situation and letting someone you love deal with the consequences of their own actions is much harder than fixing it for them.)
^ This. Many, many good friends become enablers because they DON’T want to do the right thing and force a friend to deal with the consequences of poor choices. If you’re constantly bailing them out and/or fixing their problems and/or telling them “everything will be okay,” you’re not helping them solve their problem(s) over the long term.
My personal theory is that Billie is suffering alcohol withdraw. She broke up with Ruth, got drunk a few days, and now is going through what Ruth did a week back.
Walky, you have taken your first step into a larger world. The world of guilt-tripping!
A powerful weapon you hold, use it wisely and use it well.
An elegant weapon for a more civilized time. Not as random and unreliable as a ghetto-blaster.
Great cross-reference! +1 for you!
You’re living everyone’s reality. Talking to sad friends instead of keg stands in college.
Wow, usually sal’s the pissy one, what’s next Walky you going to complain about how algebra a conspiracy for the American system to keep you down.
Yeah, algebra isn’t a conspiracy….calculus is.
Al gebra is something an Islamic extremist uses as a weapon of math destruction.
“Algebra” is something an Islamic mathematician uses, because that’s where algebra is friggin’ from, that’s why it’s called algebra, from the Arabic “al-jebr.”
So.
This is why my grammar school briefly renamed Algebra as FreedomBra in 2003.
…there was some confusion.
I would want to believe that post is in jest, but considering the whole country was briefly subjected to people calling French fries “Freedom fries”…I’m just going to go with a facepalm instead.
Unfortunately systemic of US civil life during “wartime” in certain regions of the country. Just go ahead and have a ‘Liberty Steak” with those “Freedom Fries”
That said I could see calling it “FreedomBra” as something of a satirical “this is how bloody stupid you sound”
FreedomBras for all! And there was much hilarity in the math classes.
It’s a weapon of math construction.
Ha!
+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1
(=15)
Can we admire the craftiness of his pun before assembling a lynch mob?
I completely missed it the first time around.
Thank you, Timinane.
Mindlessly repeating a tired joke is not crafty. A lynch mob is a group of people who murders someone illegally, rather than someone criticizing someone in an internet comment. Now you’ve learned two things you apparently did not know.
The joke
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Your head
the joke only works if you think “algebra” starts with “al” because of a hilarious coincidence and not because of friggin’ etymology
otherwise it’s just knowingly ignoring one of a civilization’s greatest achievements so you can make it into an ethnic joke centered on murder-based stereotypes
which one of those went over my head
The number of times I wish these comments allowed upvoting…
I know, right? I wish I could thumbs up yours, for pointing out the lack of thumbs up options.
Since we are told the joke went over your head, but we know the ethnic stereotype isn’t funny – really, it’s not – the only possibility is that etymology is ITSELF funny.
So: why do they call sawdust flammable? Because it can burst into FLAME.
According to my calculations, everyone should be spraying milk through their noses now, whether they were drinking it or not.
I’m certainly spraying milk out my nose.
Not because of your joke, though. I have a condition.
The joke
.
.
.
.
.
.
floating around since 2001.
Walky has been especially grounded lately.
Is Dorothy’s maturity sinking into him?
No its the fact that everyone else has been acting extremely Immature.
Walky’s immaturity remains constant, it’s everyone else’s immaturity skyrocketing that makes him look mature by comparison.
I guess it could be that, but really, it seems more like Walky’s just behaving maturely. These things happen.
I’m somewhat put off by Walky’s expectations about the duties of an R.A. as compared to a friend. It’s like parents telling a teacher that their child is not behaving well at home.
Now Ruthless is more than just an R.A. but he doesn’t know.
At my campus, it was really, really strongly encouraged to go to an R.A. if you had concerns about the well-being of a fellow dorm student. Well-meaning friends can sometimes make a problem worse instead of better. (See my post a few threads up about enabling behaviors.) Ruth, as an R.A., should be trained in information about and have access to any mental health or physical health services Billie might need to be referred to.
At first I thought it was because Walky somehow knew that Ruth and Billie were friends (sorta), and he was going to her for that. Now… not so much.
Oh Walky you have no idea, but good for him to look for someone to help even if he is not completely sure of what to do.
Good for Walky, he’s growing up. And it actually spoke up to ‘Ruthless” who throws people across the room when they bug her.
Good for him wanting to try to help Billie even though he hasn’t a clue what to do. (Who would?)
Also, it hurts like Hell to have ‘dry’ sex….you NEED those bodily fluids. We Americans have gotten so squeaky clean and santitary that we are complaining about the wonderful feel of sweaty slippery bodies doing the 2 backed beast? Sad world.
Somehow I’m not surprised when stores are selling gym workout outfits that absorb your sweat so you don’t ‘offend your fellow gym workout people”….Jesus jumped up Crist in a sidecar.
Just setting ourselves up to be so clean that the first good illness outbreak will knock us flat.
Sorry to say it, but you’re at least two generations late on that last sentence. We’ve been doing so much keeping homes and kids in more and more sanitary conditions that childhood allergies have skyrocketed in that same period. At the current rate we’re going to end up all living inside our own tiny sanitary environment bubbles (David Vetter style).
Off topic from this, but related, is something I love to put to those who like to pull out that old ‘won’t someone please think of the children’ bunk, “so whose going to protect these kids from the negative side effects of you trying to protect them from everything else?”
We shall all become Quarians!
Pretty sure we’re not even a little on track to making people live in bubbles because a few more kids are allergic to peanuts and milk. Especially given that the latter is more congenital, and surprise, huge swaths of the world have been for millenia because they didn’t rely very heavily on cattle.
Walky has good intentions, that much is true. But Ruth’s help? That’s like dowsing a fire with kerosene.
And how would Walky’s help be any different?
I believe Willis described it as trying to soak up vinegar with baking soda.
Maybe not quite as dangerous, but still…
I CAUGHT UP! After only a single day of reading, I have reached current! This is now in my top five favorite webcomics and to put that in perscpetive, it is the 39th in my RSS agg’s “webcomic” category.
So much character! The development! The smooches! THE INCLUSIVITY. I love it. And the nostalgia can’t be beat either, considering I’m a *recounts credit hours* junior at Uni.
Welcome aboard!
Hey, you seen his other comics too? You’d probably really like Shortpacked!.
Congrats on discovering one of the best webcomics in existence. And my opinion is based on having over 300 comics in my favourites list.
Yeah, but did you notice the exact day Willis added hovertext?
And did you know that one of the comics long before that day was retconned to now have hovertext?
Now you have to read the whole archive again!
This time read the comments, too, they provide a lot of additional information to readers that are new to David Willis comics.
Unfortunately also a lot of distraction referring to his other ‘verse, so maybe read that first (the archive is huge):
http://www.itswalky.com
(the improved original comic, currently updating daily).
http://www.joyceandwalky.com/
(has the complete archive of the original comic)
http://www.shortpacked.com
FWIW, I have not read all of the other Willis comics. He declared that this was to be a stand-alone comic; it was not necessary to know what had happened in the others to be able to enjoy DoA. It’s only when we get into the comments that some of the long-term readers of Willis’ other strips (and I’m pointing no fingers!!) start trying to cross-pollinate the strips.
Go goddamn Walky!
I just spent the last hours reading all the strips from beginning to now. Cannot wait how this continues…
Walky rules
Next up: Walky and Sarah unite to form a drama-free dorm.
Next next up: Walky and Sarah split due to differences on the topic of “girls are icky/Walky is an idiot” and form two different drama free dorms consisting only of themselves.
Next next next up: Sarah’s and Walky’s dorms fall apart due to internal drama. They seamlessly get back to the fold.
……………help…………………………
Get….help…for…Billie!
…..And Swerve!
Keg stands: the most convenient way to “accidentally” flash some frat boys.
Is Ruth still mad that Billie made her quit beer but was still drinking and not sharing… That seems lake ages ago so maybe 3 days or a week