Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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May 5, 2026

Mistakes

by David M Willis on November 7, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - When Somebody Loved Me
└ Tags: becky, jennifer, joyce

Discussion (320) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    November 7, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    It’s attitudes like Joyce’s that keep divorce lawyers in business

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 7, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

      Truer words have never been said.

    • MrSirk
      MrSirk
      November 7, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      You mean optimists?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        November 7, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        That or optometrists.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          November 7, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

          YOU BASTARD! I WAS GONNA SAY THAT!

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            November 7, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

            Nuuuuuur! 😛

        • David
          David
          November 7, 2014 at 4:32 am | #

          Ornithologists. “A little bird told me”. Oinologists. “I heard it through the grapevine”. Oecotrophologists. “You are not going to eat that, are you?”.

          • Jen Aside
            Jen Aside
            November 7, 2014 at 11:51 pm | #

            Oncologists: “IT’S NOT A TOOMOR”

            • Jen Aside
              Jen Aside
              November 7, 2014 at 11:51 pm | #

              [/Schwarzennegger]

    • Yet_One_More_Idiot
      Yet_One_More_Idiot
      November 7, 2014 at 9:59 am | #

      Same ol’ Joycy…still got that weirdly-cute triangular smile and everythin’. ;D

    • Lord Geovanni
      Lord Geovanni
      November 10, 2014 at 7:09 am | #

      How do we keep divorce lawyers employed

      • Brady Kj
        Brady Kj
        November 18, 2014 at 1:37 pm | #

        By keeping the various people in the marriage industry employed.

  2. AHR
    AHR
    November 7, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    HOW HAVE YOU CHANGED BECKY WE MUST KNOW

    • Emperor Kiva
      Emperor Kiva
      November 7, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      “I slept naked with my roommate back at Anderson.”

      • David
        David
        November 7, 2014 at 4:33 am | #

        Undressing is only half of changing.

        • The_Master
          The_Master
          November 7, 2014 at 9:17 am | #

          Well hopefully she changed for the better.

          I think Becky is preggers.

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            November 7, 2014 at 11:34 am | #

            Lesbian preggers.

            • Nobody
              Nobody
              November 7, 2014 at 10:11 pm | #

              Joe’s still in college in this timeline. Who made the thing that let her get lesbian preggers?

    • Mr k
      Mr k
      November 7, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      “I work as a mercenary and fight aliens”

      • Undrave
        Undrave
        November 7, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

        “I am an alien and I fight mercenaries.”

        • Morgauxo
          Morgauxo
          November 7, 2014 at 9:02 am | #

          That would be a great Walkieverse spinoff. Mary and her group we haven’t met yet get ahold of some Martian equipment and fly off to force-convert the universe. Early on focus shifts to the new protagonists, the resistance on some alien world that are fighting Mary.

          • fogel
            fogel
            November 7, 2014 at 9:34 am | #

            Check out Dan Simmons Hyperion/Endemion books if u want a SCARRY sci fi portrait of a MILITANT church in space.

        • Nobody
          Nobody
          November 7, 2014 at 10:12 pm | #

          “I am a missionary, and I fight Alan.”

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 7, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      “I’m a leftie now.”

    • Inlaa
      Inlaa
      November 7, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      “I killed a man… with THIS thumb!”

      • MrSirk
        MrSirk
        November 7, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

        “I defrauded a major corporation.”

      • Pat
        Pat
        November 7, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

        And where did you get that thumb?

        • Dean
          Dean
          November 7, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

          Same place i got all the others. Wanna see my collection?

          • StoryMagnet
            StoryMagnet
            November 7, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

            Commander Umfrumf gives this comment seven thumbs up.

          • Nobody
            Nobody
            November 7, 2014 at 10:07 pm | #

            I’ve only ever been able to get two thumbs from the same source. What am I doing wrong?

      • jeffepp
        jeffepp
        November 7, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

        The other thumb was too powerful.

      • Baggy
        Baggy
        November 7, 2014 at 6:04 pm | #

        Why can’t we like these comments!!!

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      November 7, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      She’s Jocelyn’s boyfriend now.

      • Anders
        Anders
        November 7, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

        I’m so thinking that but then two of the people that Joyce is close to in her church would be trans and her head asplode

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 7, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

      I’m Actually B-3KI3. I am the 3rd android based on your friend, Becky. Prepare to be assimilated.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        November 7, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

        You meant ass-stimulated right? 😀

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        November 7, 2014 at 1:33 am | #

        Ass-laminated. it’s very painful, they seal your butt with a hot sheet of clear plastic… 🙂

        • Anonymous
          Anonymous
          November 7, 2014 at 3:05 am | #

          It’s the only effective therapy against the gaseous discharge associated with late-stage Butts Disease.

          • The_Master
            The_Master
            November 7, 2014 at 9:19 am | #

            Poor Jeph

    • Halloween Jack
      Halloween Jack
      November 7, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

      I am both more than the Becky you knew… and les’.

    • MrSirk
      MrSirk
      November 7, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

      “I’m actually the genetic love child of you and Becky from the future.”

    • youpalindromeyou
      youpalindromeyou
      November 7, 2014 at 12:36 am | #

      She needs to make a discrete trip to PP.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        November 7, 2014 at 8:40 am | #

        ‘discreet’. They mean different things. I am done pedanting now.

        • youpalindromeyou
          youpalindromeyou
          November 7, 2014 at 8:57 am | #

          I hang my head in the homophone haul of shame.

    • Arkadi
      Arkadi
      November 7, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

      “I do cocaine.”

    • Kevin
      Kevin
      November 7, 2014 at 2:37 am | #

      She watched Seinfield. Try to keep up.

    • Aisling
      Aisling
      June 9, 2015 at 8:29 pm | #

      Im pretty sure Becky has been corrupted lol.

  3. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    November 7, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    So this seems to be a common trope with Joyce?

  4. Dreadhawk177
    Dreadhawk177
    November 7, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    And it’s all on God’s DVR…

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 7, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Next to His hand cream. 😀

      • Dreadhawk177
        Dreadhawk177
        November 7, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

        So if Jesus is on God’s right hand?

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          November 7, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

          Lets just say that the second coming of Jesus isn’t quite what you would have expected. 😀

          • Dreadhawk177
            Dreadhawk177
            November 7, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

            Among God’s DVR Titles:

            “Let He Without Sin Shaft the First Bone”
            “The Passion of the Enticed”
            “Christ Has Risen! 2: Crown of Thorns”

            • Halloween Jack
              Halloween Jack
              November 7, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

              “This Is My Body (Which Will Be Given Up For You)”

              • Dreadhawk177
                Dreadhawk177
                November 7, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

                “Flail Mary: Taking Jesus In”

                • Khantalas
                  Khantalas
                  November 7, 2014 at 12:51 am | #

                  I’m sure there is something to be said about “Turn the other cheek” here.

                • Halloween Jack
                  Halloween Jack
                  November 7, 2014 at 10:24 am | #

                  How about the old classic “Get thee behind me, Satan”?

                • Dreadhawk177
                  Dreadhawk177
                  November 7, 2014 at 1:37 pm | #

                  Or perhaps the old classic, “Taste and See”.

          • tyersome
            tyersome
            November 7, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

            Careful, or you’ll rub someone the wrong way …

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              November 7, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

              OH MY!

          • Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself
            Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself
            November 7, 2014 at 12:56 am | #

            He has Risen, or should I say be Roused, then?

            • ThatMadCat
              ThatMadCat
              November 7, 2014 at 8:57 am | #

              He has risen still works actually …

  5. Jupiterror
    Jupiterror
    November 7, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    oh, joyce, you

    • otusasio451
      otusasio451
      November 7, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      *cue sitcom-style theme song* It’s Joooo-oyce!

  6. liahansen
    liahansen
    November 7, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    She’s so gay.

    And she don’t even like boys.

    • caesaria82
      caesaria82
      November 7, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

      For the reference to that godawful song to work, it’d have to be ‘she doesn’t even like girls’ though 😉

      • liahansen
        liahansen
        November 7, 2014 at 4:05 pm | #

        but she does like girls though

        she’s super gay

  7. Nono
    Nono
    November 7, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    I’m really liking Becky. She seems… normal.

    • Mr k
      Mr k
      November 7, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

      Compared to Joyce, even Head Alien looks normal.

    • LiamAldam
      LiamAldam
      November 7, 2014 at 1:41 am | #

      She’s only as normal as her abs.

      • David
        David
        November 7, 2014 at 4:36 am | #

        That sounds like a one-dimensional view.

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      November 7, 2014 at 2:44 am | #

      And sorta accepting. She DID watch Seinfeld that one time.

  8. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    November 7, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Soooo, Becky.
    What’s your ‘mistake’?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 7, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      Being friends with Joyce for 13 years.

      • newllend
        newllend
        November 7, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        no wonder she was so willing to give her up before…well good luck with that shit Sarah and Dorothy she’s your problem now.

      • Rachel Roth
        Rachel Roth
        November 7, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

        “friends”. I wouldn’t question the benefits if I were you.

  9. saltchocolate
    saltchocolate
    November 7, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Becky is not a Joyce clone.

    • Nono
      Nono
      November 7, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Panel 4 Becky reminds me a lot of Rachel, though.

    • Kiapdx
      Kiapdx
      November 7, 2014 at 2:19 am | #

      I think she was initially a little like “huh” over Joyce’s suddenly varied friend group and is then relieved and amused that despite this, Joyce remains ever the optimist.

  10. otusasio451
    otusasio451
    November 7, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    “Same old Joyce…I MUST HAVE HER.”

  11. T Campbell
    T Campbell
    November 7, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    The more I know of Becky, the less I feel I understand her. This situation can’t continue indefinitely. Sooner or later, her story will out.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      November 7, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      But will it be coming out?

      • someguywithakatana
        someguywithakatana
        November 7, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

        This is a Willis comic, so signs point to yes.

    • fogel
      fogel
      November 7, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      Later today cartoon time, sometime next year in our universe?

    • MrSirk
      MrSirk
      November 7, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      Maybe her story is just that she’s Joyce’s old friend?…I mean it’s not likely but sometimes things are just that simple.

      • T Campbell
        T Campbell
        November 7, 2014 at 2:23 am | #

        I could buy that if Sarah wasn’t poking holes in her story ten minutes after meeting her.

        • Jen Aside
          Jen Aside
          November 7, 2014 at 11:57 pm | #

          It’s prolly something as boring as “aliens killed her parents (but can’t tell Joyce, who got so upset just over her bike getting stolen)”

          or she flunked out ALREADY

    • I.care.0
      I.care.0
      November 7, 2014 at 4:50 am | #

      This. There is something very weird happening that we don’t know of yet.

      • The_Bionic_Doctor
        The_Bionic_Doctor
        November 7, 2014 at 6:05 am | #

        The tension is unbearable: something seems normal in a Willis comic! The crowd DEMANDS to know what unspeakable horrors this prepares! (I am with the crowd: this is fishy)

  12. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    November 7, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    And the OT only prohibits Male-on-male hanky-panky, the girls are free to do whatever they want when it’s not their time to service the man of the harem.

    • Calvin Coolage
      Calvin Coolage
      November 7, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      That’s a good one, man.

    • Hannah
      Hannah
      November 7, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

      There’s apparently something in Romans about it, actually. It’s still all nonsense mind you, but in their minds, the hardcore Christians do have their bases covered when it comes to defending their “right” to be assholes about it.

      • MichaelHaneline
        MichaelHaneline
        November 7, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

        “For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:” – Romans 1:26

        That is the verse that is interpreted to be anti-lesbian. I don’t see it.

        • Undrave
          Undrave
          November 7, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

          To me it sounds like someone managed to get Android to work on an iPhone.

        • fogel
          fogel
          November 7, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

          The natural use of what?

          • Kiapdx
            Kiapdx
            November 7, 2014 at 2:21 am | #

            I assume the natural use of lamb skin. Instead of making gloves they learned to make condoms & dental dams.

        • David
          David
          November 7, 2014 at 5:02 am | #

          If they go “for even their women … against nature” that sounds to me more like being vocal against anal sex rather than lesbianism. Or any kind of kinkiness.

          One probably has to view this against the backdrop of current Roman culture which copies a lot of antique Greek culture (in which male homosexuality is the main popular romantic love interest and women are “who cares? Women are just for proliferation and raising kids but culturally uninteresting”), but with the latter having been watered down/supplanted by various conquerors (Macedonia and Rome IIRC). And with Christianity coming in as “Judaism light” with cherry-picked laws. Coattailing on homophobia was actually a reasonably obvious choice.

          At any rate, given the times, a female monastery might have earned that kind of bashing, or women daring to read non-trivial texts. The times still very much viewed women as men’s appendices not worth much attention of their own, akin to cattle. It is true that early Christianity was out to change perceptions somewhat, but one stlil has to view such statements against the current historical backdrop of the Romans.

          I’d have to look at the original Greek to see whether this “lesbianism” interpretation has any actual chance of holding water.

          • fogel
            fogel
            November 7, 2014 at 11:48 am | #

            In questionable content, Fay’s lesbian sister has an affair with Lil Sis from diesel sweeties, who introduces her to “anal plugs”, about which she and Dora compare notes. I don’t know if they had anal plugs in biblical Times: perhaps we can consult Jeph Jacques?

            • Bill
              Bill
              November 7, 2014 at 12:28 pm | #

              Considering some of the other things that were done in the quest for pleasure/torment in biblical times, I wouldn’t be at all surprised

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          November 7, 2014 at 9:01 am | #

          Again, I’d argue that Romans 1:26 isn’t calling homosexuality a sin. God is using it as a punishment for people who have committed two more obvious sins – blasphemy and idolatry (“They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator…” Romans 1:25).

          Punishments are hardly sins – in fact, Christianity considers many forms of punishment cathartic and purifying. In Biblical times, homosexuality could be a nasty curse, for a small population – it means you’d have no kids, and your people would risk extinction. It’s much less of a curse in modern times – in fact, overpopulated parts of the world may consider it a blessing.

          • Chris Phoenix
            Chris Phoenix
            November 7, 2014 at 9:39 am | #

            Actually, in a stable agricultural society, food and land are scarce, and overpopulation is often several kinds of problem (malnutrition, disease, war, and intra-family tensions). Your family’s genes probably do better by having some uncles and aunts who don’t reproduce, and instead are available to help provide for their nieces and nephews.

          • David M Willis
            David M Willis
            November 7, 2014 at 9:59 am | #

            You keep saying “Christianity considers punishment purifying,” but I have no idea where you get this from. The closest I can figure is a passage in 2 Corinthians where Paul talks of a(n unspecified) thorn in his flesh that keeps him from becoming growing too conceited, but he also repeatedly begs God to have it removed and ultimately decides that this horrible, awful, terrible “weakness” keeps him strong. Not exactly “purifying.” “Humbling” or perhaps “humiliating” is closer.

            If that is referring to homosexuality, it’s a pretty damn homophobic way to regard it.

            • Opus the Poet
              Opus the Poet
              November 7, 2014 at 11:45 am | #

              That is how many (not all, perhaps not even a majority) Biblical scholars read that passage, that Paul was a self-loathing homosexual and as such had even less consideration than most people of that time for women, which made him pretty bad. Paul must have had some redeeming qualities in person, or he would never have been able to hijack the Christian movement, but his writings make him sound like a grade-A asshole.

              • fogel
                fogel
                November 7, 2014 at 11:57 am | #

                Was Paul basically a Yeshua-espousing Saul? Saul seems to have been hella heretic Hunter. Paul seems to have been a master at pushing people’s buttons, out maneuvering Yeshua’ s posse, undermining the Temple priests he used to an enforcer for …

                • Opus the Poet
                  Opus the Poet
                  November 7, 2014 at 9:38 pm | #

                  Paul is the name Saul of Tarkus took after his road epiphany. They are the same person, Paul just decided he could be more destructive from within the church than outside it…

                • fogel
                  fogel
                  November 7, 2014 at 10:31 pm | #

                  Right, Saul/Paul, changed sides, did he change persona at all–that is what I was asking: what did his (hysterical) conversion on the road change beside the first letter of his name?

                • David M Willis
                  David M Willis
                  November 7, 2014 at 11:16 pm | #

                  Saul didn’t actually change his name to Paul following his conversion. That’s a popular misconception. He always had both names — Saul was his Jewish name and Paul was his Roman citizen name.

                • fogel
                  fogel
                  November 8, 2014 at 6:10 pm | #

                  That’s very interesting and makes totes sense. I’ve always been struck by the story of Saul bringing a gentile into the Temple, being arrested by the centurion who brought the goon squad to stop the riot that Saul provoked, and Paul telling the centurion that he had citizenship AFTER the centurion had tortured him, thinking that he was just another Jew. I’ve always imagined that centurion going “oh shit! I hate this gods damned place, why couldn’t I get assigned to Greece or Egypt?”

                • fogel
                  fogel
                  November 9, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

                  Do you think that Paul was interested in and more open to gentiles BECAUSE he was a citizen and so had a less insular view of non-Jews than Peter? Is that interpretation reconcilable with his period as THE hunter of Jesus’s followers, which was intra-Jewish stuff–at least, I’ve understood it as him working as an enforcer for The Temple. I’VE realized that I’m unsure how to understand him being both a Jew and a Roman; both extremely anti-Jesus-Movement at first, then pulling the movement in a new direction, opening it to gentiles, even while he still CLAIMED to be Jewish … argh. Complex person it seems.

              • David M Willis
                David M Willis
                November 7, 2014 at 9:50 pm | #

                The Teen Bible I had when I was growing up had a little footnote-for-teens next to that passage suggesting that the thorn was possible homo-ness.

                • Adam Black
                  Adam Black
                  November 8, 2014 at 6:22 am | #

                  I know a male-on-male sexual position that might describe ( I’m quite proficient at it , too. Although, i dont think I would be mistaken for “a thorn” . )

                  Although “thorn in the side” is already a metaphor. This could even be a lost idiom in Aramaic. Much of the Bible is filled with lost idioms, that The Jews even, no longer recognize.

                  For example: from the Schema prayer “bind it on your hand and your forehead” http://www.jewfaq.org/prayer/shema.htm

                  If Jews, and most have, ( other than Karaites ) lost the idioms behind this, what hope do christians have understanding their own texts, … say , ones which call back that identical yet reverse idiom, in the “mark of the beast” ?

                • David M Willis
                  David M Willis
                  November 8, 2014 at 10:04 am | #

                  It wouldn’t have been Aramaic. 2 Corinthians was written in Greek to a Greek-speaking audience.

        • Nobody
          Nobody
          November 7, 2014 at 10:20 pm | #

          To me it sounds like “Don’t screw robots.”

          …Malaya’s safe in THIS universe, at least…

  13. MrSirk
    MrSirk
    November 7, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Love solves everything. If it’s not working for you then you don’t have enough of it.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 7, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      Violence solves everything. If it’s not working for you then you don’t have enough of it.

      • Calvin Coolage
        Calvin Coolage
        November 7, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        Sex solves everything. If it’s not wotking for you then you don’t have enough of it.

      • Nono
        Nono
        November 7, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        Pepperoni solves everything. If it’s not working for you then you don’t have enough of it.

        • sun tzu
          sun tzu
          November 7, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

          Solutions solve everything. If it’s not working then you don’t have enough of it.

          • Rachel Roth
            Rachel Roth
            November 7, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

            undefining unsolves everything. If it’s not unworking, then you don’t have enough of un-it.

            • Opus the Poet
              Opus the Poet
              November 7, 2014 at 9:42 pm | #

              C4 solves everything, if it didn’t then you needed to use more of it the first time, or twice as much the second time.

        • Barf Ninjason
          Barf Ninjason
          November 7, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

          Smartass comments solve everything. If it’s not working then aw fuck it.

          • MichaelHaneline
            MichaelHaneline
            November 7, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

            Money solves everything. If you don’t agree I’ll give you $1000 to shut the fuck up.

            • Barf Ninjason
              Barf Ninjason
              November 7, 2014 at 3:06 am | #

              I hereby formally acquiesce to your legally binding proposal to give me one thousand dollars, pending subsequent up-fuck-shutting.

              Commencement of same to be instituted upon receipt of the agreed-upon sum.

              Thank you for contacting Barfcorp. Barfcorp: We Don’t Even Know How to Stop.

            • Yotsuyasan
              Yotsuyasan
              November 7, 2014 at 7:57 am | #

              I disagree.

      • Kelly
        Kelly
        November 7, 2014 at 1:16 am | #

        XML solves everything. If it’s not working for you then you don’t have enough of it..

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          November 7, 2014 at 1:36 am | #

          XML solves everything, if it’s not working spellcheck and recompile.

          • Khantalas
            Khantalas
            November 7, 2014 at 1:46 am | #

            Python solves everything. If it’s not working just use “import solution”.

            • Robin
              Robin
              November 7, 2014 at 4:20 am | #

              C solves everything. If it’s not worSEGFAULT

            • Yotsuyasan
              Yotsuyasan
              November 7, 2014 at 7:58 am | #

              Python solves everything. Now stop that! It’s too silly!

            • Thomas64
              Thomas64
              November 7, 2014 at 6:19 pm | #

              http://xkcd.com/353/

  14. Calvin Coolage
    Calvin Coolage
    November 7, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    OH THE IRONING!
    Pass the popcorns, fellas.

    • Koms
      Koms
      November 7, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      Yeah, you got to do ironing after laundry.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        November 7, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

        Ironing? but the only pressing will be of the fleshy kind. ^_^

  15. Dreadhawk177
    Dreadhawk177
    November 7, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    It’s all cool; God made Billie and Ruth super-lesbians so that he could record it all on his DVR for the purposes of. Um. . God works in mysterious ways…

    • fogel
      fogel
      November 7, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      His purposes are ineffable

    • newllend
      newllend
      November 7, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      lol…this has good potential to be a running joke but it just feels so wrong

      • fogel
        fogel
        November 7, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

        Don’t you mean “because”?

        • Dreadhawk177
          Dreadhawk177
          November 7, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

          It is clear that the best jokes are the most offensive/exclusive ones.

          • David
            David
            November 7, 2014 at 5:09 am | #

            “is this 911? Oh God, I am with my best friend hunting and I think I accidentally shot him dead! What shall I ever do?” “Please be calm. Can you make sure he is actually dead?” “— BANG! — Ok, what now?”

            • Deanatay
              Deanatay
              November 7, 2014 at 9:09 am | #

              I think this actually happened with Dick Cheney.

              Yep.
              http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Cheney_hunting_incident

    • Fit-to-freak
      Fit-to-freak
      November 7, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

      Okay not to beat a dead horse, but neither of them are lesbians.

      • Dreadhawk177
        Dreadhawk177
        November 7, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

        Fine… They’re bisexuals… Are you happy now?

        • Fit-to-freak
          Fit-to-freak
          November 7, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

          Uhh kinda? I mean, I don’t think it’s nitpicky to want bi or pan sexual to be referred to as such?

          • litui
            litui
            November 7, 2014 at 1:08 am | #

            Agreed. Bisexual erasure is part of the problem with Joyce’s words in this strip too. The whole “girls are just experimentation, but all her problems are solved now that she’s in love with a presumed man!” -_-

            • litui
              litui
              November 7, 2014 at 1:14 am | #

              Every bit as problematic as “they’re really lesbians” and the like, though Joyce’s words ooze with a lot more heteronormativity.

            • timemonkey
              timemonkey
              November 7, 2014 at 6:42 am | #

              But she actually does believe that and is trying the same thing on Ethan. We don’t even know if she knows bisexuality is a thing. She’s been raised super heteronormatively and doesn’t even really see being gay as a real thing, just a mistake to be fixed.

              • Regalli
                Regalli
                November 7, 2014 at 12:37 pm | #

                Yeah. Joyce’s words are definitely problematic, but they come from her character so it’s okay from a writing standpoint she’s saying them, even if they’re a sign she really needs growth.

                We as readers know better, they’re bisexual, and should be referred to out-of-universe as such.

        • Jason
          Jason
          November 7, 2014 at 6:23 am | #

          …Are they? Billie is, but we’ve not seen Ruth show interest in anyone but Billie as I recall. I may well have missed something though.

          • Emma
            Emma
            November 7, 2014 at 6:32 am | #

            I know that Willis drew a picture of the two of them and Danny for Bi Awareness Day, so I think it’s safe to assume they’re both bi, even if we don’t explicitly see Ruth expressing attraction to more than one gender in-comic.

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            November 7, 2014 at 6:43 am | #

            Sexualities have remained the same across the universes so since Ruth was bi in the Walkyverse she’s bi in the Dumbiverse.

            • Yotsuyasan
              Yotsuyasan
              November 7, 2014 at 8:03 am | #

              What was Becky’s sexuality in the Walkyverse? That could answer some speculation about her here…

              • Regalli
                Regalli
                November 7, 2014 at 12:34 pm | #

                Never saw it, sorry.

    • barefootbiker
      barefootbiker
      November 7, 2014 at 1:56 am | #

      This whole running joke makes me wonder if Willis (God) has a DVR, and what’s on it…

  16. Emperor Kiva
    Emperor Kiva
    November 7, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Joyce, if only you knew how right you are.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      November 7, 2014 at 6:43 am | #

      But she’s not right about anything.

  17. fogel
    fogel
    November 7, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Shouldn’t that be “She’s in lesbians now”?
    (Mary delenda est)

  18. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    November 7, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Oh Joyce. I hope you stub all of your toes and sit on a tack.

    • airyu
      airyu
      November 7, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      Why?? I mean I hope that for Mary, but Joyce doesn’t need pain, she just needs more and more aquaintences with the real world…

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        November 7, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

        There is nothing more real in this world than stubbing all your toes and sitting on a tack.

      • Ivy
        Ivy
        November 7, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

        She just outed Billie to a total stranger, not to mention spilled her most painful secrets to aforementioned stranger, super-casual, and then dismissed alcoholism and depression by saying love would cure all of them. Yeah, she’s sheltered and all, but that doesn’t mean she’s not doing something shitty.

        • PlainMarie
          PlainMarie
          November 7, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

          Yes, thank you. ^ ^

        • MichaelHaneline
          MichaelHaneline
          November 7, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

          You forgot her labeling girl-on-girl romance as a “mistake”.

        • Mr k
          Mr k
          November 7, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

          She’s being worse than Danny.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            November 7, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TQYeKgbU6M

        • Khantalas
          Khantalas
          November 7, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

          While I agree with all of this, isn’t it sad that “outing” someone is something we have to be wary of, instead of at best a minor faux pas, in case we aren’t accurate?

          • fogel
            fogel
            November 7, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

            Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

          • caesaria82
            caesaria82
            November 7, 2014 at 12:49 am | #

            In general, you do have a point, but even as a faux pas it’s incredibly rude just to do it to someone instead of letting them do it themselves. I know what you’re saying, why should it matter, sexuality shouldn’t be a big deal, etc, I understand that and I agree 100%. But coming out is still super personal and everyone has their own reasons for doing it or not doing it and their own speed at which they do it. Whether we live in a ‘no big deal’ society or not (which, maybe in some countries we’re inching towards, but in big parts of the world coming out can still result in terrible things, like loss of your job, family, freedom and even life). So. Yeah.
            I’m sorry I stepped on my soapbox there for a second as a reply to your comment, it just came over me^^

            • Khantalas
              Khantalas
              November 7, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

              I agree with you as far as recognizing your own sexuality and coming to terms with it is concerned. It’s actually something I’m still struggling with after almost 25 years, and the details are between me and my psychologist until I do. But once you do, and you have the guts to admit it to someone, you shouldn’t have to be worried about who else hears it. If I ever realize I’m not straight, my only worry will be getting harassed over it (physically and socially, though the latter already happens often enough due to my lack of masculinity that it won’t be new), not having some great personal secret revealed.

              Then again, I realize it’s different strokes for different folks, and I apologize if I accidentally offended anyone. To re compensate, I offer you food item of your choice (unless you are a breatharian, in which case I’m really worried about you).

              • caesaria82
                caesaria82
                November 7, 2014 at 1:20 am | #

                Yeah, but again, that is super different for everyone on an individual, personal basis. I came out to most people in my life 14 years ago, but somehow you never really stop coming out. Every time you meet new people you have to do it again. It gets hella easier over time, but there’s also always the chance someone new you meet is gonna have a negative reaction. And it doesn’t have to be just physical reactions (even though those can happen too of course and yikes, they should never happen to anyone ever), even people saying really ignorant shit can hurt you. Again, super personal for everyone, yadda yadda.

                But if the food offer still stands I’m taking vanilla cream donuts, please 😉

              • Regalli
                Regalli
                November 7, 2014 at 12:32 pm | #

                That’s certainly the way it should be, but at the same time, it really isn’t.

                To a stranger who won’t be around for too long, it’s certainly more invasive than anything else. But people could be hearing that would take offense, and… Well, there’s a reason why Carla was worried about it being a hate crime until she saw everyone’s door had a dick on it and has a single. Harrassment is still a MAJOR issue. And coming out really is a continual process. Like, my parents, my brother, and a fair number of my relatives all know my sexuality. A lot of my friends do as well. But at the same time, I have a grandfather who I love very, very much, who I’m still not out to. Given I’m only vaguely attracted to anyone in the first place and not in a place mentally to have an SO, I may NEVER have to come out to him, and I don’t want to unless I need to. I don’t keep it a secret that I go to my campus’s local LGBTQIA+ group, but I still don’t put on my Facebook profile that I’m attracted to other women because there’s a handful of people whose reactions I’m still scared of who I value enough I’d rather not say if I could. Is that a really shitty attitude to have, especially to people you love? Oh, holy shit is it ever. But at the same time, sometimes you have to choose things like that. You shouldn’t have to, but you do. Because these are people who you do love, very very much, and you want to stay part of your life, and while it’s easy enough to say “people who don’t accept you have no place in your world” it’s really hard to do.

                That’s what coming out is, at its core. Being willing to trust that other people will accept who you are unconditionally and that the people who don’t don’t matter to you. Being willing to accept that some people may not react well and that if that happens, you may very well lose that relationship. Being willing to be the one to try and challenge their thoughts. And being in a place where the people who you might have to cut out aren’t in a position to hurt you. Like, there are totally people like Jocelyn, who are out to friends but not their parents because it’s unsafe to be out to their parents. Or even to one parent. Shit’s extremely complicated.

                Like, tldr, yeah. Coming out is an incredibly personal, complicated experience and still needs to be 100% on the person who’s coming out’s terms. In an ideal world, it shouldn’t have to be. But since it’s still essentially making yourself vulnerable to who you’re coming out to, it is.

            • fogel
              fogel
              November 7, 2014 at 1:24 am | #

              Abso right. We should all be trying to make the world a place where it’s safe and comfortable to come out if you want to, not taking it on ourselves to out people or being careless about it. In grad school I had a friend who shared an apartment with a guy who I thought was just a guy he shared an apartment with. One time we were travelling to a conference together and his apartment mate drove us to the airport. When we got there they had a sort of tussle for a moment: the apt mate wanted a good bye kiss and my friend was evidently hesitant to give it to him in front of me, but eventually did. I went to myself “oh, okay, I had no idea” — zero “gaydar” I guess — “what a drag to have to worry about giving your SO a kiss when you’re leaving on a trip”. My friend and I waited for our flight in the bar with drinks, talking like we normally did. I wondered whether to SAY something to indicate that he was still cool with me OR show it by saying nothing unless he brought it up and just act as I always had–which is what I did. He never did say anything and I never gossiped to anyone BUT he and his SO attended my wedding a few years later and we have a lovely picture of them in our album.

        • litui
          litui
          November 7, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

          You forgot “belittled the worth of same sex relationships” and “committed bisexual erasure” in that charge as well. -_- Joyce is understandable in doing these things, but not excusable.

        • fogel
          fogel
          November 7, 2014 at 2:24 am | #

          Yes, but Walky outed Billie too, to Joyce. Maybe Joyce even got the idea that it’s okay to talk about it from Walky, who’s billie’s childhood friend. (Lord, Lord, Joyce learning social norms from Walky!! Just the idea…

          • Adam Black
            Adam Black
            November 8, 2014 at 5:48 am | #

            Actually No!
            Billies Ex outed Billie , to Walky and Joyce at the same time.

            Walkys natural defensive mechanism to the drama-hurricane was smart-assery

            Joyce is so naive that she thought Walky was being subtle, when in fact it was telegraphed before he said a word.

            • fogel
              fogel
              November 8, 2014 at 11:33 pm | #

              Goes to show: I took Joyce’s interpretation to Becky at face value instead of checking the original.

        • SDGlyph
          SDGlyph
          November 7, 2014 at 3:22 am | #

          Yes, but… unlike Mary, there’s nothing mean-spirited about what Joyce is doing. Yeah, I know, “intent is not magic” in terms of actions and results, but it counts for character judgement. I can never get on board with the “Joyce is a terrible person!” crowd because I guess I draw a bright line between not *knowing* how your behaviour impacts people and not *caring* that it does. Joyce is a child in need of education and experience, not a villain in need of censure.

          Plus, hating on Joyce is like kicking a puppy.

          • Ivy
            Ivy
            November 7, 2014 at 7:58 am | #

            There’s a difference between unintentionally hurting someone and intentionally hurting someone, but in the end, you still are being hurtful. Yeah, I think Joyce is essentially a better person than Mary! But she does need censure. Censure is not punishment. Someone telling her she’s fucking up or getting mad at her for being hurtful is something she needs! And as someone who has been clinically depressed and who falls on the LGBT spectrum, Joyce’s dismissiveness and ‘love the sinner, hate the sin’ attitude has absolutely harmed me when aimed at me by real people in my life.

            • fogel
              fogel
              November 7, 2014 at 10:13 am | #

              As the saying goes, if you’re not outraged you’re not paying attention AND when othering happens right in front of you you’d better say something because silence works as acceptance. ESPECIALLY you have to challenge your family and friends–friends don’t let friends other people without calling them on it. And sometimes laying into someone is necessary, but quiet and gentle works better with some people. Surely Dorothy is going to have to have more than one talk with Joyce and it will be interesting to see how she does it. Joyce is facing a crisis. She’s going to eventually see that people who she knows are good and who she likes are being hurt by the stones thrown by Mary AND eventually she’ll be told or maybe realize herself that she is just a “kinder gentler” Mary if she doesn’t challenge Mary and accord her friends their full human dignity and her support. (Mary delenda set)

            • SDGlyph
              SDGlyph
              November 7, 2014 at 5:13 pm | #

              I agree with everything you say here (and my bad for misusing ‘censure’ – sorry). I absolutely don’t mean to excuse Joyce; for some reason, the distinction between “That’s horrible” and “You’re horrible” just gets to me.

              Except for Mary. Mary is horrible and can DIAF, kthxbye. 😉

  19. newllend
    newllend
    November 7, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    thinking about it, I think NOBODY would be surprised if everyone found out that Billies doing the RA

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      November 7, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      “Oh, you mean that girl who specifically picks on that one girl. Duh, I saw it coming. I went to elementary school”

      • newllend
        newllend
        November 7, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        so elementary school is just filled with potential lesbians ?

        • Morty
          Morty
          November 7, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

          Elementary schools are a traditional hatching ground for lesbian egg clutches, yes. Elementary schools and summer camps

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          November 7, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

          Not sure if want…

          • Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself
            Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself
            November 7, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

            My mind’s tellin me yes, and my body, my body’s tellin me yeah-ah-ah-ah!

            • Blue Dragon
              Blue Dragon
              November 7, 2014 at 2:02 am | #

              There’s yes-yes in your ayes, but there’s no-nos on your face.

        • fogel
          fogel
          November 7, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

          It’s a definite risk factor. Don’t all lesbians go to elementary school?

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            November 7, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

            I’m sure some are home schooled.

            • fogel
              fogel
              November 7, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

              Wasn’t Willis home schooled? What are you implying?

              • MichaelHaneline
                MichaelHaneline
                November 7, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

                Well, Willis DID marry a woman. So clearly he’s a lesbian.

                • fogel
                  fogel
                  November 7, 2014 at 2:19 am | #

                  Doesn’t “lesbian” mean sexual attraction to women/love for a woman/women? That’s why Scott told Ramona that he was in lesbians with her, isn’t it?

                • David
                  David
                  November 7, 2014 at 5:15 am | #

                  Ah, but Willis presumably has male organs in spite of being attracted to women, so he is a transsexual lesbian. And as long as he is not planning on doing anything about having his male sex organs fixed, he is a queer transsexual lesbian.

                  The stuff some people are into…

                • fogel
                  fogel
                  November 7, 2014 at 10:18 am | #

                  So you’re saying there can’t be cis straight male lesbians? The things one learns on the internets! 🙂

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            November 7, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

            Only if they want to be added to a sex offender’s list.

            • newllend
              newllend
              November 7, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

              and the males are all potential stockers…I just painted a real fucked up alternative universe, you know what screw it led it ride its not the most screw’d up thing I’ve ever said.

              • newllend
                newllend
                November 7, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

                stalker

                • fogel
                  fogel
                  November 7, 2014 at 12:43 am | #

                  Well, there are female stalkers and surely some of them are lesbians

              • MichaelHaneline
                MichaelHaneline
                November 7, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

                Stockers? Like, they make sure there is sufficient inventory for the all the shelves?

                • Cybersnark
                  Cybersnark
                  November 7, 2014 at 5:01 am | #

                  They eventually end up working at Shortpacked!

              • Fit-to-freak
                Fit-to-freak
                November 7, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

                I don’t get this?

            • caesaria82
              caesaria82
              November 7, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

              I am pretty sure they’re talking about elementary school-age lesbians in elementary school, not adut ones^^

        • Fit-to-freak
          Fit-to-freak
          November 7, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

          I mean, so much as any school is. Potential/current lesbians and bisexuals and pansexuals and heterosexuals (I guess *sigh*)

          • fogel
            fogel
            November 7, 2014 at 12:45 am | #

            So it’s worse than we thought and all the elementary schools should be closed down?

        • Skater Girl
          Skater Girl
          November 7, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

          I kissed my first girl in kindergarten, so in my experience, yes.

        • Bill
          Bill
          November 7, 2014 at 12:39 pm | #

          The way some of you people talk about the inevitablity of lesbianism/bisexuality, maternity wards are hatching grounds for potential lesbians.

          • Vex Godglove
            Vex Godglove
            November 7, 2014 at 8:07 pm | #

            Considering people are born gay/straight/ bi, this is true.

      • Nono
        Nono
        November 7, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        He was a football head, she had a monobrow
        Can it be any more obvious

  20. Derek
    Derek
    November 7, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

    When did Walky imply she did “girl-on-girl hanky-panky”? Unfortunately I can’t keep this entire comic in my memory at once.

    • Fit-to-freak
      Fit-to-freak
      November 7, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

      I think when they all ran into billies old highschool friend when they were getting food.

    • Undrave
      Undrave
      November 7, 2014 at 12:34 am | #

      Yeah I was wondering that too… I don’t recall Walky implying that.

      • Khantalas
        Khantalas
        November 7, 2014 at 1:12 am | #

        “I guess being a drama hurricane can be sexually transmitted.”

        • Undrave
          Undrave
          November 7, 2014 at 4:06 am | #

          Huh… must have missed that one o.o

        • Tualha
          Tualha
          November 7, 2014 at 6:35 am | #

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/dramahurricane/

  21. Just Here
    Just Here
    November 7, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

    I predict that one of two things is true:

    1.) Becky has already done pre-marital hanky-panky.

    2.) Becky is lez for Joyce.

    Either way, mayhem will ensue. Actually, number 2 will be really interesting if her and Joyce actually do have sex. Joyce looks like a screamer to me, and her first time should be ear-shattering.

    • Calvin Coolage
      Calvin Coolage
      November 7, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

      That Sarah avatar fits that comment very well.

    • Nono
      Nono
      November 7, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

      That last part is actually pretty uncomfortable for some reason. Joyce is clearly not in a position to have sex any time soon – she’s overrunning with hormones, is recovering from near-rape, and is still incredibly confused with her stances on sex and sexuality.

      Plus sexualizing DoA Joyce is just kind of weird.

      • Jams
        Jams
        November 7, 2014 at 9:44 am | #

        Yeah.

    • Proxiehunter
      Proxiehunter
      November 7, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

      I predict that two of those statements are true.

    • Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself
      Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself
      November 7, 2014 at 12:59 am | #

      IN THE FACE.

    • Rabid Rabbit
      Rabid Rabbit
      November 7, 2014 at 1:46 am | #

      Or she and Joyce have done premarital hanky-panky together in the past, and Joyce never realised that it counted. (Fine, less than likely. but the idea appeals to my sense of humour.)

    • David
      David
      November 7, 2014 at 5:18 am | #

      I’m pretty sure that Joyce will be a screamer when getting involved in a lesbian sex act but likely not for the reason you think.

      • Lel
        Lel
        November 7, 2014 at 11:17 am | #

        Really? ’cause I thought “in terror at the wrath of god”

  22. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    November 7, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

    Ivy I agree with you 100%. People can be ‘sheltered’ and still understand the word decency.
    Joyce has none whatsoever when it comes to treating ‘non-Joyce thinkers’, like real people.
    What she did, dumping those statements about Billie is nothing short of shitty. Added to her introductions of her dorm neighbors in the same light.
    Joyce is an insensitive clod.

    • Nono
      Nono
      November 7, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

      Playing devil’s advocate, Becky is her best friend. Based on how close they seem to be, they probably shared their opinions and gossip about everything with each other. Even the ones that would get you slapped in public.

      Not saying it makes it any better, especially in an open area like this, but I’m less offended that she’s saying it to Becky than if she were saying this to Sarah, for instance.

      • Fit-to-freak
        Fit-to-freak
        November 7, 2014 at 12:31 am | #

        Idk, I don’t really care how close someone is to the person they out me to.

  23. David Alexander McDonald
    David Alexander McDonald
    November 7, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

    Joyce…a bright, shining light in the universe…and one of the dimmer bulbs in God’s chandelier.

    • SDGlyph
      SDGlyph
      November 7, 2014 at 3:26 am | #

      Marvelous turn of phrase. *applauds*

  24. Pat
    Pat
    November 7, 2014 at 12:27 am | #

    Wait, Joyce did pick up on that?

    Although it wasn’t so much an implication as a statement.

    • Gadgeteer Smashwidget
      Gadgeteer Smashwidget
      November 7, 2014 at 2:06 am | #

      I honestly didn’t pick up on it until I read the comments, so, uh, good on her I guess.

  25. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    November 7, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

    And oh yeah, I know, I know. She is oh so cute, and she has had a terrible life because of her parents scarring her poor little self. She’s suffered.

    So have we all, in one way or another.

    You get over it, or you become Joyce.

    Yeah I know, she is making strides to growing up, maturing, et.

  26. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    November 7, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

    Joyce just makes me so aggressive sometimes, holy crap. Sorry, but she just does. It’s just frustrating to watch and every time we think she’s made some progress she says something like this and it just friggin’ does my head in.

    • Khantalas
      Khantalas
      November 7, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

      Had it even been two months since the comic started? It took me more than two years to get rid of most of my wrong ideas about how the world works, I still have a few of them crop up from time to time, and I wasn’t even religious or a fundie.

      • caesaria82
        caesaria82
        November 7, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

        Yes, in-comic time moves like molasses, but that doesn’t really change my frustration as a reader for whom it has been years^^
        Also, other characters have gone through some pretty significant changes and developments in this same time span, so why shouldn’t Joyce?

        • Khantalas
          Khantalas
          November 7, 2014 at 1:03 am | #

          Because coming of age is a personal experience that can’t be rushed?

          • caesaria82
            caesaria82
            November 7, 2014 at 1:13 am | #

            No, of course not. I’m not saying I expect Joyce to have done a complete 180 by tomorrow. All I’m saying is that it’s frustrating to watch. For me. As a reader. Joyce the character can take all the time she needs and me the reader is just gonna have to deal with it. I just replied to your comment re: the time that has passed in-comic. Sure it’s a short time span, but it’s also not 5 minutes. Things *can* change. Obviously for Joyce it’s becoming increasingly clear that the whole changing thing is gonna take a whole goddamn long-ass time xD

            • fogel
              fogel
              November 7, 2014 at 1:38 am | #

              Willis does say that Joyce is playing the part of Willis in this universe and look how he changed, however long it took. Joyce does a lot of messed up things but she’s suffering SERIOUS cognitive dissonance: she’s trying to reconcile her heartfelt attraction to people whose goodness she feels experientially with the messed up dogma she was inculcated with for her whole life AND she’s totes UN-worldly because she lived in social isolation till 2 months ago. She is dangerous,but let’s be charitable–she couldnt be any different than she is right now.

            • Khantalas
              Khantalas
              November 7, 2014 at 1:45 am | #

              For Joyce it’s probably gonna take a relatively short time. It’s the readers that you should be worried about.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        November 7, 2014 at 1:15 am | #

        They’re still working the week after Parent’s weekend, I think it’s the Friday after. So we should be seeing Becky for the next several months as the Willis makes his way through the weekend.

  27. arank11
    arank11
    November 7, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

    I think the question we must ask ourselves is “What was Becky’s role in the Walkyverse?” If we can follow that, then we should be able to uncover her secret, should she have one in the first place

    • Kirby
      Kirby
      November 7, 2014 at 1:06 am | #

      Becky existed in the Walkyverse to be a fairly level headed Christian and Joyce’s only “normal” female friend, and member of the Sal fanclub.

      • Leonou
        Leonou
        November 7, 2014 at 1:45 am | #

        A club Joyce definitely wasn’t part of !

      • Tenn
        Tenn
        November 7, 2014 at 6:03 pm | #

        I don’t remember Becky existing in the Walkyverse at all?

  28. jams
    jams
    November 7, 2014 at 12:36 am | #

    Suddenly Becky’s “don’t let anyone change you” takes on a slightly different meaning.

  29. Boom
    Boom
    November 7, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

    Oh my. I just realized it. I feel like that monkey from 2001: A Space Odyssey.

    • Cypherfox
      Cypherfox
      November 7, 2014 at 5:16 am | #

      Oh… Crap. I couldn’t get this out of my head, wondering what you might have realized, and…I think I just did. If that’s the case…it explains a lot, and much of the analysis (and anti-Joyce anger) here will be painfully off the mark.

      Something’s been forgotten about. I don’t know if I want to be right…

      • SDGlyph
        SDGlyph
        November 7, 2014 at 7:43 am | #

        Oh – I got it!
        *goes back and checks the tags*
        … I don’t got it.

        *develops alternative theory*

  30. MichaelHaneline
    MichaelHaneline
    November 7, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

    To put things in perspective, how long have they been at the university by this point?

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      November 7, 2014 at 1:17 am | #

      If I have the timeline correct, this is approaching the end of Week 5. I think this is the Friday after Parent’s weekend.

  31. Vex Godglove
    Vex Godglove
    November 7, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

    Joyce manages to be accepting in the most intolerant and judgmental way possible. Fairly standard response from the “nice” evangelicals I grew up around.

  32. FuryOfFirestorm
    FuryOfFirestorm
    November 7, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

    “Dammit. Now I know that I can’t tell Joyce of my undying love for her and my burning desire to let my tongue go crazy on her clitoris!”

  33. Hoodiecrow
    Hoodiecrow
    November 7, 2014 at 12:42 am | #

    If there is such a thing as a “pure heart”, Joyce is close to having one. And she’s still a complete bongo in this situation. There is a lesson here.

    • Khantalas
      Khantalas
      November 7, 2014 at 12:44 am | #

      “All the evils of the world? You need to bring three times as much if you wish to affect me, mongrel!”

    • Arkadi
      Arkadi
      November 7, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

      To be fair to Joyce, she’s talking to Becky, someone she’d obviously trust not to do anything “bad” with that information; so she’s really just being her old naive self here. What she did a few strips back, going to Dorothy about Walky and Billie, was a lot more messed up.

  34. Arkadi
    Arkadi
    November 7, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

    Gah! Becky, stop being mysterious! >_> What’s your deal?

    • Miles
      Miles
      November 7, 2014 at 12:50 am | #

      Simple, she’s a Ginger so neither God Nor Satan can threaten the Soul she doesn’t have, so she was able to uncover all the secrets of the universe, become immortal and is now friends with Joyce because most other people are depressing and boring.

      • Arkadi
        Arkadi
        November 7, 2014 at 12:56 am | #

        She’s just waiting for the right moment to break the police box and the sonic screwdriver out to her 😀

        • Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself
          Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself
          November 7, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

          Oh, she’s gonna be using the Sonic Screwdriver on Joyce, all right.

          • Arkadi
            Arkadi
            November 7, 2014 at 2:49 pm | #

            …or so we hope ^^

  35. Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself
    Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself
    November 7, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

    We need to get back to Ethan/Danny A.S.A.P. My babies can’t wait.

  36. Winter
    Winter
    November 7, 2014 at 1:08 am | #

    It just occurred to me, Billie and Ruth could easily pull Mary’s blackmail material out from under her if Billie was relocated to one of the other dorms on campus.

    If Ruth wasn’t her RA, they could date without any problems, and I doubt it would be difficult to piece together a half decent reason for the higher-ups to have Billie moved. Billie and Ruth have been fighting since day 1, and Ruth has personal reasons to want to avoid dealing with a girl with a DUI, and if nothing else I’m sure Sal would be willing to corroborate and pretend she and Billie have had problems rooming with each other. And the dorm management would probably look the other way on what’s already happened between them, given that the issue is quickly dealt with, as they’d rather not go through the hassle of replacing an RA.

    And honestly, it might be better for them anyhow, since Ruth has a history of abusing her RA-ly powers where Billie is concerned.

    • Winter
      Winter
      November 7, 2014 at 1:32 am | #

      No, really, I’m on to something with this pet theory.

      Marcie and Malaya room together in another wing. Marcie agrees to swap rooming assignments with Billie so she can escape and room with Sal. Billie and Malaya try to kill each other 24-7.

      Fun times for everyone.

      • NF
        NF
        November 7, 2014 at 1:37 am | #

        I like this theory. Except Billie would intimidate Malaya into submission within a week, and the only further reference we’d see to Malaya and Billie being roommates is Malaya repeatedly telling the people she hangs out with that her roommate is “a scary mean bongo.” Either way though, win-win.

        • Winter
          Winter
          November 7, 2014 at 1:53 am | #

          I’d be down for intimidated Malaya! Alternatively, Malaya sucks up because Billie’s fake ID is about as legit as fake IDs come. Yeah, they’d be a fun/horrible duo in any case.

          But it is a webcomic about people making terrible choices tho, so I’m not sure it will occur to anyone in the cast that they could potentially solve this issue by going through the system instead of trying to zig-zag around it.

          • Jackson
            Jackson
            November 7, 2014 at 1:28 pm | #

            Dumbing of Age: It’s not called “Smarting of Age”

        • timemonkey
          timemonkey
          November 7, 2014 at 6:52 am | #

          Yeah, because Malaya is super intimidated by people. I don’t know where people get their Malaya impressions but the Walkyverse Malaya got in a knife fight with a sentient alien enhanced super car and spent a few years harassing a super powered alien fighting coworker. THIS version of her attacked Amazi-Girl without hesitation and even recovered from the hit she took very quickly.

          Malaya is not a pushover people.

          • John
            John
            November 7, 2014 at 11:37 am | #

            She not only got in a knife fight with a robot car, she fought it to a draw. (And now they’re dating.)

      • Sheikh Mabuti
        Sheikh Mabuti
        November 7, 2014 at 12:32 pm | #

        This works out so well! First off, both Sal and Marcie have vastly improved their roommates; they are already pretty much BFFs. Second, Malaya will be mostly left alone, since her official roommate, Billie, will be spending most of her time with Ruth. Billie and Ruth can then get lovey without fear of the school’s administrative ire. Wins all around, ISTM. Except maybe for Mary ….

        • auo> mous
          auo> mous
          November 7, 2014 at 11:18 pm | #

          Fuck Mary!

        • NF
          NF
          November 8, 2014 at 1:12 am | #

          Okay, I am totally sold on this now. Which means Willis needs to make this happen except have it blow-up spectacularly. You know that thing in sci-fi where someone has pheromones that make people around them become angry towards them. Like that, except with Billie and Malaya. The whole plan looks like it is going to work out, but Malaya finally meets Billie and takes an instant and inexplicable dislike towards her, which builds to the point that Malaya joins forces with Mary when she figures out what is going on. The two recruit a third woman from the wing, someone who is bored and doesn’t like Ruth, and suddenly there is a conspiracy arrayed against Billie and Ruth. Then things escalate…

  37. NF
    NF
    November 7, 2014 at 1:39 am | #

    A webcomic of just Becky and Joyce would be strange and terrifying.

    • Khantalas
      Khantalas
      November 7, 2014 at 1:49 am | #

      Coming soon to a Slipshine near you!

      ((That was a joke Mr. Willis please don’t hurt me.))

    • David
      David
      November 7, 2014 at 5:22 am | #

      Wear it like a haaaat!

  38. Rabid Rabbit
    Rabid Rabbit
    November 7, 2014 at 1:50 am | #

    I’m now picturing Becky’s reaction when she meets Dorothy and Walky.

    Joyce: ‘And this is my new bestie, Dorothy! And her stupid boyfriend!’

    Walky: ‘Yeah, Joyce really just wants to smother herself in my girlfriend’s crotch.’

    Becky: ‘But… but… I’ve been hoping she’d do that to ME for years! You bongo, Dorothy!’

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      November 7, 2014 at 6:53 am | #

      They shall fight o the death in the jello pool.

      • Jackson
        Jackson
        November 7, 2014 at 1:18 pm | #

        Totes jello!

  39. Orangey
    Orangey
    November 7, 2014 at 2:14 am | #

    Becky really hasn’t been giving much out in conversation at the minute. The more I see her the more I keep thinking BECKY WHAT IS YOUR DEAL.

    • David
      David
      November 7, 2014 at 5:24 am | #

      She is associating with Joyce, collecting pressure material and endearing herself to her.

      Clearly, she is going to ask her for one or more favors.

  40. Lulu
    Lulu
    November 7, 2014 at 2:28 am | #

    Is Becky happy that Joyce is still herself or is she disappointed by that she didn’t change much by interaction with others there as her prime morals go?
    I can’t decide yet, that last panel could be either taken as a bit sarcastic reply or maybe not…

    • litui
      litui
      November 7, 2014 at 2:46 am | #

      I caught that too. She smiles, but it isn’t clear if she agrees with Joyce. I foresee Joyce’s house-of-cards-of-assumptions falling majestically before this arc is through. A major one being that Becky is the same person she remembers (or even was ever truly the person Joyce thought she was).

      • Doctor Mobius
        Doctor Mobius
        November 7, 2014 at 11:38 am | #

        I think it’s both. Joyce is one of the most joyful, compassionate, and generous people you could imagine, and I can get not wanting to see your best friend lose their innocence.

        You know, Joyce has become my favorite character in this comic. Not my favorite person, but my favorite character. She’s a genuinely good, warm hearted person, who’s finding her world may not be quite as simple as she was taught. I especially like the crisis of faith she’s going through, dealing with the fact that her friends can be happy, despite not living the life she was taught is the only way to true joy.

        It will be interesting to see if she loses her faith, or can reconcile it with the idea that her upbringing may not have taught her everything she needs to know about life. The subtleties of her evolution have taken what could have been a simple story of someone discovering she’s wrong about life, and instead created a character arc of genuine depth and self discovery, where her own compassion, and genuinely good nature, are what enable her to challenge her own assumptions about what is wrong or right. Where hopefully, she won’t abandon all the good things about her faith, just because she’s questioning a part of it.

  41. nkh
    nkh
    November 7, 2014 at 4:28 am | #

    Teh dramatic ironies!

  42. Skiddaw
    Skiddaw
    November 7, 2014 at 6:00 am | #

    I missed that being implied by Walky. When did that happen?

    • John
      John
      November 7, 2014 at 12:13 pm | #

      When they ran into Alice. Last panel Joyce there does actually look like she caught the implication. Kind of surprising, but I guess she’s putting together Walky’s comment with the obvious ex-girlfriends drama she just witnessed and remembering the “everyone tries it out eventually” comment Billie made to her earlier that’s quoted in the hovertext.

  43. Crotonhurst
    Crotonhurst
    November 7, 2014 at 7:34 am | #

    I say to you @damnyouwillis, “Good Grief!”

  44. nothri
    nothri
    November 7, 2014 at 8:49 am | #

    Hello. Does this imply a “dark” side to Becky henceforth forgiven by Joyce? I think perhaps it does!

  45. Paul
    Paul
    November 7, 2014 at 9:34 am | #

    I love the hovertext in this one. First Peanuts dialog ever, spoken by Shermy of all people.

  46. Ian
    Ian
    November 7, 2014 at 9:50 am | #

    I wonder how long it’ll take Joyce to connect “Billie doesn’t necessarily just like boys” and “I ASSUMED that she was in love with a boy but nobody ever actually said that”.

    Though I guess this is an assumption on my part that Joyce would accept same-sex love as a thing, rather than just same-sex hanky-panky-hell-going. Only God’s light can transform sinful lust into pure love, and your front parts have to fit together for that. That’s why they call it Holey Matchrimony.

    • Loki1001
      Loki1001
      November 7, 2014 at 10:06 am | #

      I’m reasonably certain Joyce would never think same-sex love exists and that people in a same-sex relationship could be happy. I’m guessing homosexuality has been explained to her as all about sex and that gay people are deeply unhappy.

      • Lel
        Lel
        November 7, 2014 at 11:09 am | #

        That’s actually a very real thing. I remember Orson Scott Card (himself a religious homophobe) was heavily criticized by his own community for portraying homosexuals as happy in their relationships.
        A lot of people think homosexuals don’t even enjoy being homosexual, which is weird because most of the those people also think it’s a choice.

        • buli-buli
          buli-buli
          November 7, 2014 at 7:16 pm | #

          Keeping in mind that I am not speaking from experience and that I don’t agree with the following (assumed) opinion, I imagine that said people imagine homosexuality as they do other vices. You don’t generally think of addicts as being happy with themselves. And if they are, they are willfully ignorant/in denial, etc.

      • Herbert
        Herbert
        November 7, 2014 at 11:20 am | #

        Additionally, her prime example is largely unhappy with himself.

  47. Dr. Worm
    Dr. Worm
    November 7, 2014 at 11:22 am | #

    I have a serious question. Why does Willis use “is a Christian” solely as a character flaw?

    I’m a lapsed Catholic, for crying out loud, and that offends me. Bible-thumping young-earth Creationism isn’t the only kind of Christianity out there. I realize he grew up in that, but I feel like he’s reliving that again and again through his characters.

    But it truly is offensive. It seems prejudiced. I know many very intelligent, and very kind people around me who are devout Christians. And I’m in engineering.

    P.S. No, devout does not mean literalist.

    Leo’s a great guy until he says some sanctimonious

    • Dr. Worm
      Dr. Worm
      November 7, 2014 at 11:25 am | #

      Oops, I forgot to finish the thought about Leo.

      Leo’s a great guy. He’s a little confused about some things, but he at least recognizes that he doesn’t understand some things about Leslie. He’s a very good person UNTIL HE SAYS SOME SANCTIMONIOUS CHRISTIAN THING and we end that scene on a “nope, he’s a douche” note.

      Why?

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      November 7, 2014 at 12:12 pm | #

      Billie’s a Christian. Danny most likely is as well. Sierra definitely is (well, she’s Mormon), and she’s always portrayed in a positive light. Amber is, and in the other universe we’ve seen Robin as a Christian (albeit a loose one) whose faith is always portrayed reasonably. Depending on the reveal coming up, Becky might be as well. And in the Walkyverse, Joyce eventually managed to balance faith with what she saw in the universe around her and was shown in an entirely positive light. Not such a stretch to guess this Joyce might eventually come around to it as well. It doesn’t always come up with such characters, but Robin and Amber in particular were fully capable of saying “Hey, I believe in Jesus as the messiah” and not being shown negatively for it.

      The problem isn’t having faith, it’s using that faith to justify beliefs like homosexuality being wrong or that God has given you this wealth so it’s okay to hoard it. Things that concretely hurt other people, in some cases run opposite to what was actually taught, and are often used in such a way that you do come off as a major douche. And given Willis’s predominate experience with religion WAS Bible-thumping fundamentalist young-earth creationist and it SEVERELY fucked his brain up (Trust me, I had a different upbringing but a similar relationship to religion, and it really does fuck you up), it’s gonna affect him. Especially in wanting to point out that, hey, a lot of these beliefs GENUINELY AREN’T OKAY. Like, even this is Joyce grappling with that upbringing and still being portrayed positively. “She’s in love so it’s all okay!” isn’t “ha ha, look at the Christian!”, it’s “Oh, Joyce, you are extremely naive and inexperienced with the world”.

      • John
        John
        November 7, 2014 at 12:31 pm | #

        Agatha’s the Mormon. Sierra goes to the same church Joyce and Mary do. Both of them are among the nicest people in the comic.

        But, yeah, what you said.

        Also, in groups – almost any group – it’s the assholes who are the loudest and who stand out and tend to become the visible face of the group. And that applies to both comic strips and reality. Just like it’s easy to overlook the good people leading quiet Christian lives when there’s assholes using God as an excuse to deny their neighbors basic human rights on TV every day, it’s easy to overlook the Agathas and Sierras when the Marys are yelling at you.

        • Regalli
          Regalli
          November 7, 2014 at 12:45 pm | #

          Ah, thanks. Forgot! And oh, totally yes. Again, why I’m off organized religion in general. There are perfectly sweet, wonderful, virtuous people I know who got awesome things out of it. Much of my family included. (The reason I’m not soured on Christianity as a whole is totally because of my great-grandparents, who were two of the most amazingly good people I’ve ever known.) But it didn’t work for me, and I genuinely cannot stand the people who use it to be, well, Mary. My mom’s still a faithful person, and I still consider myself culturally from the church she’s from even if I’ve never been baptized and don’t believe anymore,* but the sanctimonious ones and a general lack of time mean she doesn’t really attend church anymore.

          * It’s an Anabaptist church.

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      November 7, 2014 at 1:35 pm | #

      The serious answer is that I don’t and that you’re succumbing to confirmation bias.

      • fogel
        fogel
        November 7, 2014 at 11:51 pm | #

        No, no, I’m sure that he made a spread sheet into which he entered all of your characters, their religious affiliations/orientations, and an adequate, random sample of how you’ve portrayed them — positive/neutral/negative — in all of your different series. After all, Dr Worm is an engineer and surely used a proper methodology to reach his sweeping, unqualified conclusions about your unrelenting denigration of all devout people. Have you actually read your own work?

        • fogel
          fogel
          November 8, 2014 at 8:46 am | #

          Really, trying to confuse the issue with scientific methodology makes you worse than that comic of satanic porn, The Devil’s Panties; at least that Breeden woman is open about her devil worship.

  48. Saaaam
    Saaaam
    November 7, 2014 at 11:25 am | #

    Middle panel shows Joyce and Mary aren’t too different.

    • John
      John
      November 7, 2014 at 11:47 am | #

      I’d say it illustrates the biggest difference between them. Joyce assumes that everyone is a good person until proven otherwise, and it takes a lot to prove otherwise. Mary assumes that everyone is a bad person, and I’m not sure there’s any proving otherwise.

  49. Adork
    Adork
    November 7, 2014 at 11:26 am | #

    I just realized Billie’s not wearing her Dragon’s gold and blue colors.

    • Thomas64
      Thomas64
      November 7, 2014 at 1:53 pm | #

      I was wondering why Billie seemed evasive, twice now, on the laundry topic. I think that basket contains her old cheerleader outfits and she’s going to throw them out. Clean break, new beginnings, that sort of thing.

  50. MrBurrows
    MrBurrows
    November 7, 2014 at 11:30 am | #

    Becky is smarter than her upbringing, it seems.
    Also, I was offline for a few days, but I TOTALLY called her being a run away. Go back and look. I said it when she showed up.

    • MrBurrows
      MrBurrows
      November 7, 2014 at 11:33 am | #

      Calling now that she’s questioning religion.
      Or maybe buddhist, since Willis hasn’t added any buddhists yet. (To my knowledge, might be derping.)

      • ahuh
        ahuh
        November 7, 2014 at 4:48 pm | #

        I’d be interested in seeing a observant non-Christian main character.

  51. SeanNOLA
    SeanNOLA
    November 7, 2014 at 12:25 pm | #

    Becky is supes pregnant.

  52. zebrathinker
    zebrathinker
    November 7, 2014 at 2:48 pm | #

    BECKYYYY i cannot get a read on you!!

    i like you??? i think??? you seem fine what is LURKING IN THE SHADOWS OF YOUR PAST

  53. Kugai
    Kugai
    November 7, 2014 at 4:03 pm | #

    Now watch the other shoe drop as Becky drops a bombshell on Joyce.

  54. liahansen
    liahansen
    November 7, 2014 at 4:09 pm | #

    OH GOD IS THE CHAPTER TITLE ABOUT BECKY AND JOYCE I JUST REALIZED

  55. Beckett
    Beckett
    November 7, 2014 at 4:29 pm | #

    Something is totes up with Becky. When Joyce learned of all the rampant homosexuality and promiscuity running around, she had a mini-meltdown, and she was supposed to be the best socialized kid in her church group. Meanwhile, Becky is all “Oh, that’s cool, whatevs” not caring at all. Something is up. WAY up.

    • turbanous
      turbanous
      November 7, 2014 at 5:02 pm | #

      Just because Joyce was the best socialized doesn’t mean she is the most prepared. Joyce was okay at first until she started paying attention to what was around her and realized she was surrounded my all she was taught to be against. At this point Becky is being introduced to these people for the first time and only has info on Billie, whose association with Joyce she questioned.

    • KiTA
      KiTA
      November 15, 2014 at 5:19 am | #

      Beyond “oh, that’s cool, whatevs.” Look at that reaction. That’s not “oh, whatevs,” that’s “wait, you aren’t freaked by that” followed up by… “Ah, you’re just ignoring it, got it.”

      I’m calling it now. Becky’s LGBI. That’s why she’s not at her Christian College.

  56. Bill
    Bill
    November 7, 2014 at 4:44 pm | #

    Weegee!!  I got my Kickstarter books today — all three of ’em, complete with doodles and a free bookmark!!

    Thanks, Willis.

    • Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself
      Dirk Strider's Splinter Hopeself
      November 9, 2014 at 7:00 pm | #

      *Wiigii

  57. Timni
    Timni
    November 7, 2014 at 11:08 pm | #

    I feel like Becky is hiding something… other than what she was hiding from Sarah, anyway.

  58. Jim
    Jim
    November 8, 2014 at 10:53 am | #

    But Joyce is nothing like Charlie Brown, except in her fashion choices.

  59. Fish
    Fish
    November 8, 2014 at 11:31 pm | #

    I thought it was Becky who told Joyce to “never change”…

    In my experience that can put a lot of pressure on a person too. Even if Joyce felt otherwise, I wouldn’t expect her to necessarily tell Becky and jeopardize their friendship. I mean… I don’t see Becky saying otherwise.

  60. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    March 1, 2015 at 9:35 am | #

    Yoiu know, re-reading Joyce’s comment here, AFTER becky’s revelation kinda hurt ^^;

  61. Onion
    Onion
    May 10, 2016 at 8:39 pm | #

    You hate Charlie Brown? Huh, now I’ve met TWO people…

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