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And what a shakedown it’ll be. . .
EVERYONE’S A DICK (bandit)
Ah – the Orient Express solution – everyone drew one dick in permanent marker on someone’s door – each person on the floor is only responsible for one dick each, which is why they all look different.
This is what i thought too, due to one of them is similar to the one Sarah drew. the question is, did somebody switch all the markers to permanent markers?
Maybe Mike drew one and then left the permanent marker sitting in the hallway, then one by one people decided to draw one like that old broken windows theory.
Doesn’t explain why they are all pointing the same way though.
Magnetism. Whiteboard Dingdong Magnetism.
Well, Willis always says he can only quickly draw his characters facing one dirOH MY GOD
Willis is a fan of one direction?
no, all his characters face them
“Agatha’s roommate is a notorious bongowad” – did Willis finally give up on trying to keep Guns out of DoA?
I don’t even remember who Agatha’s roommate even is.
It is a mystery.
So the plot thickens…
New Patreon bonus cross $X boundary and get a portrait of Agatha’s roommate!
Or donate $X and you can be (in comic) Agatha’s roomie. (Female only unless you want the be re-gendered in-comic)
And who wouldn’t want to be genderbent in a comic as long as your avatar looks good as a result? :3
I wonder what the university’s policy on transgender room placement is?
Y’know, for those of us that don’t need any extra gender-bending.
Carla’s got the hall’s second single room next to Ruth’s, according to David.
I wonder if it’s Raidah or one of her friends.
I would have guessed Malaya, but I thought Willis said Malaya lives in a different dorm.
Maybe Agatha’s roommate is Alex. I thought for sure Agatha lived in her own room.
*Edit: Alice, not Alex.
Alice is definitely not Agatha’s roommate.
Who’s Alice?
Alex is a dude!
Sure.
..Now.
He is also a teacher rather than a student, so there’s that too.
no hes a teachers assistant usually means hes a grad student. he still may be living on campus in that situation
Alex is not a teachers assistant.
And now Jacob is realizing he nearly stuck his weenus in crazy
Always stick your weenus in crazy.
Crazy might just draw your weenus next. . .
Never stick your dick into crazy-glue.
Actually, I think the saying reccommends that you don’t do that.
That saying is spread by people who want all the crazy to stick their weenus in for themselves.
And another aphorism, “Some men learn by reading, some men learn by watching others, and some men have to piss on the electric fence for themselves.”
Good luck with sticking your weenus into crazy, Yotomoe.
Oh, good. I’m not the only one who knows that saying.
There’s a similar expression that runs like this (although I can’t remember the man’s name … It’s a stereotypical name from the American Old West.).
“Never eat at a place called Ma’s. Never play cards with a man named [Insert Name Here]. Never sleep with a woman with more problems than you.”
From a novel called “A Walk on the Wild Side” (1956), by Nelson Algren:
“Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom’s. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.”
Thank you, Bill, both for the attribution and the correction.
On The Lost Light we have an old saying: “Never play cards with Whirl, never drink engex at a Quintesson diner, and never serve under a captain with more disciplinary files than you.”
Okay, it’s not an old saying, and it was coined by someone who voted against Rodimus, but the part about Whirl? Absolutely true. Seriously, don’t play cards with him; the claws on the ends of his arms aren’t designed to hold small objects, so he just gets frustrated and starts shooting things.
You know, if I just had ungainly pincer-claws instead of hands (and not even three-fingered ones, but just the two-pronged ones) I’d probably be murderously pissed off all the time myself.
Only one of those groups has a chance of getting super powers.
Thats not always a bad thing
There’s a difference between overattached and crazy.
You type that like it is a bad thing or something.
I… was under the impression Jacob wasn’t really thinking that?
Yeah, I don’t remember Jacob expressing that much interest in Sarah beyond friendship. He’s said he’s more looking for a relationship than casual sex.
That’s not crazy, that’s a perfectly rational analysis as performed by an asocial person. She even pointed the finger AWAY from Carla.
Also.. the whole floor, 11 people? Small dorm.
I suspect that Amazi-girl is extrapolating based on the trend being presented.
Have you ever had crazy sex? It’s AWESOME.
Not helping Sarah…
Wait, hold the phone. Joe plays bass violon?
Where the &$)) did you get that?!?
http://www.dumbingofage.com/comics/2011-02-03-divorce.png
Wouldn’t that be more appropriate in that page? or on any page with Joe actually on it?
Helluva list
jacobs all like “damn, this girl is crazy”
that or “does this girl have anything to say, about anyone, that isn’t talking shit?”
Sarah’s not exactly exposing Jacob to her better nature, that’s for certain.
Not sure she has a better nature to expose him to…
Wait, no, we’ve seen ‘big sis’, so, she does. It’s well-concealed, though.
Sarah talks negatively/cynically but she acts positively–the opposite of people who talk as if they’re your friend to your face then stab you in the back. Sarah may be prickly to your face, but she’s someone you could trust with your back (if you aren’t doing wrong).
The problem being that your average random two people will have differing concepts of right and wrong.
But yeah, she’s alright. Reminds me a little of Capt. Malcolm Reynolds in that she’s a grump who seems to always, if often reluctantly, attempt the right thing.
…Wasn’t Sarah’s friendship with Jacob based entirely on “let’s talk shit about Joyce” up until just a few minutes ago? She never really DID expose a good side to him until then.
I think she’s like an internet troll: putting down everything is easy, but actually forming a constructive argument about something that someone else might belittle is hard
So I just started reading DoA and think I’m finally caught up. I tried to put together an org chart of how the main characters are related. Is this about right?
http://i.imgur.com/zZdJAwE.jpg
Very handy dandy diagram you got there.
Wow, someone actually shares my ridiculous need to draw diagrams of character relationships? Looks good to me. The extra arrows on Mike and Joe are a nice touch.
Very nice! I’d say that Sarah likes Dorothy though (as evidenced in this strip). Maybe Dina too (though I’ll admit at its current stage is mostly friendshipping on my end.)
For the sake of not having too many lines, I just assumed that roommates were friends unless indicated otherwise.
But Sarah isn’t Dorothy’s roommate…
No, but Sarah has stated repeatedly to like her.
Nice touch adding in the classes! I was actually planning to make such a chart myself, but I didn’t think to mention people’s classes in common.
Charrrrtsssss. <3
I'd say Joyce+Billie and Ethan+Danny need blue lines of friendship, though. Joe+Danny, too, despite how terrible Joe is as a friend.
Part of me feels Comp Sci class should get a mention if Gender Studies and Math do, but that's just my… completionist attitude xD Since Amber and Danny are the only named characters we know of there (I think?) I can see why you'd leave it off.
….Chartssssssss.
Seems legit, but probably would have put a black arrow between Dina and Joyce.
Also since Billie said Joyce was her only college friend.
No Joyce said Billie was her only college friend back in 2011.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/06-yesterday-was-thursday/stall/
Technically, Joyce said _she_ was _Billie’s_ best friend. Joyce has lots of friends. Billie, not so much.
Yeah, I totally misunderstood what the gender studies symbol was denoting before looking at the key. Thought someone had stumbled into a bit of fanfic for a second there.
Yeah, I was like “Wait, since when is Walky bi?”
Though technically, AIUI that symbol means “transgendered” (unless you’r talking about insects, where it means “hermaphroditic”), and bisexuality is properly ⚤
Zhecht, maybe you can figure out a way to upload this to the DoA section of <A HREF="http://walkypedia.com/"the Walkypedia.
Damn — messed up the link. Try this instead.
I put an updated version (including various changes suggested here) here and added it to http://walkypedia.wikia.com/wiki/Dumbing_of_Age
Oh good we still don’t have love pentagrams. 🙂 Drama tag is safe.
Very nice job! I’d the following though: a one-way black line from Mike to Walky and a blue line from Dina to a picture of a Deinonychus.
Great work!
My original concept was to have Dina with a like arrow to a dinosaur, but I couldn’t find a good in-universe picture of one other than Walky’s math notes.
Maybe a picture of a Velociraptor from “Jurassic Park” might work. While they don’t have feathers (which is a big deal for Dina) she does like the movie.
I just had another idea: maybe a picture of Dexter and Monkey Master, with like lines from Walky, Dorothy and Joyce?
It’s been established that Dina does like those math notes, so that would be okay.
Willis, please amend this with dinosaurs invading campus.
How about a line for Dina bending Joyce’s mind about evolution?
You forgot the dating arrow between Joe and Roz.
They’re not dating, that was a driveby.
Sio, he never got his underwear back?
I would think shtupping Sal would be enough to earn Jason a spot on the chart.
Ha, nice!
Only improvements I can suggest: Joyce should like more people (she likes almost everyone, including Sal and Billie). And maybe there should be a box for her crush on Sal’s motorcycle. 😀
Whoops I just saw the updated chart. (Especially the part with the T-Rex! Awesome.)
Dorothy’s roommate is Sierra. That could perhaps be included….
AHH THAT IS THE ONE [DoA] CHART TO RULE THEM ALL
If you can, I think you should add the ex arrow between Billie and Ruth. And maybe another question mark.
I can think of a few people from other floors too… want me to add them? Wait, where are you going….
Mary wouldn’t draw a dick. THE VERY IDEA!!!
But what if she did though? O.O
If she did, it would be better than all of the other drawings of dicks out there.
It would be the most spectacular anime dick.
So… She did draw a dick. We have our culprit.
ONE OF
Didn’t impress Jacob girl, nope not at all.
Which may bother you more than you let on.
But then again, she never said she’s a social butterfly, she’s pretty honest about the whole ‘hate everybody equally”.
Clearly, it was a Slytherin who drew all the dongs.
The Hogwarts Heir of Slytherin gets a basilisk, the Indiana University’s Heir of Slytherin gets dick…well whiteboard drawings of them at least. 😀
Ah, the dreaded Dickolisk! A creature so terrible its gaze causes indelible images of dongs to appear!
And it can only be talked to by using arseltongue, a special language only understood by trouser-snakes who have explored the rearmost regions.
Seems more like a Gryffindor thing to do. Because feat of courage, as in, taking a dare, snake imagery nonwithstanding.
Agatha’s roommate is MILLICENT BULSTRODE.
As a surprise twist it turns out that Indiana Unversity is actually Hogwarts. (The movie version where they don’t all wear robes all the time.) We won’t find out about this until everybody suddenly starts talking about how horrible Harry is apropos of nothing.
“And that Amber girl is pretty sneaky and reclusive; definitely seems like she’s hiding something.”
‘Also, Sarah never seems to have a good word to say about anyone. Something’s up, there.”
‘Dina is alright but she doesn’t say much and often has this blank expression. Not completely sure what is up with that. Likely hiding something.’
The real question is: which Rachel is Sarah referring to? For all we know, she could think Rachel 2 is hot stuff
ALL THE RACHELS!
They’re like this generations’s Heathers. 😀
Or the Debbies from “The Oblongs”.
Or the Ashleys from Recess…
Look at the spelling: Rachael
Rachael (Tweedledum) is the pretty one. Rachel (Thing 2) has the great personality.
Sarah, you are amazing.
…and then it turns out that each of them vandalized each other’s doors for the reasons listed above.
I was just thinking that it might have been everyone, and everyone just doesn’t want to admit they drew one of them because whoever the bandit is would take the blame for all of them.
Weenus on the Orient Express!
Does that include Joyce?
The time of Anti-Joyce is upon us.
I’m calling it now… Joyce drew all the dingdongs because she wanted to get her mind off of Dorothy’s lack of one.
No, in all seriousness.. I blame Dina.
First because when asked how long she had been there Dina admitted that she was there the whole time. Also, no one ‘ever’ sees her in a room until she makes them notice her. She’s the only one who could get away with sabotage this widespread without notice. And she could have done it for a perfectly good reason. She saw Sarah and Mike drawing them and thought she should emulate that because of the way people tell her to learn human behaviors.
I like your logic. Dina may also not have noticed a reason to differentiate between whiteboard markers and the permanent marker that she happened to have on her person.
And then afterwards everybody was denying that they’d done it, so that was the “in thing” to do too.
She could even have just borrowed one from Mike leading to the whole permanent mess. . . MIKE!!! D:<
Yeeeeah maybe, but what are the odds that everyone would have thought to do it in permanent marker?
But then they couldn’t have all done it at the same time – they would have seen each other. If there were multiple independent perps, they would have seen the previous perp’s efforts while doing their own. So unless the later one feigned ignorance or something.
I dunno, I never bothered to look at anyone else’s door, especially when I was late for class.
Then again, there were like eight doors in my wing.
Sarah, I love you. You’re the best.
I can’t wait for her to go and shake down Billie’s roommate…
Sarah is my favorite.
Oh, Sarah.
Seriously, I know you got burned bad on the whole “other human beings” thing last year, but there are SOME people who aren’t awful!
… Oh wait, yeah, you mentioned Dorothy. Yeah, okay. And she never said anything about Agatha doing it, either. Her statement about Carla’s entirely accurate- if she did it, she’d say so. Mike probably would too, actually, unless he’s got a long game in mind. (She also didn’t mention Mandy and… whoever Mandy’s roommate is, did she?)
Mandy’s roommate is Grace.
Ah, okay! /cannot remember all the minor characters.
#notallhumans
So wait, that hashtag meme (or whatever) means that nobody can ever deny having done something bad again?
And now we’re back to where we started
It cant be Roz, none of those willies are wrapped up.
Mary is above Sarah in the hater-archy.
Mary
Sarah
Ruth
Billie
Amber
Sal
Not sure on an exact order for Dorothy, Dina, and Joyce (Joyce hates liars, Dina hates scientific fact-ignorers, Dorothy hates the patriarchy), but there’s a pretty big gap between them and the rest of the list.
Amber would be at the bottom. Her hate may be fearsome, but it is all directed inward.
That’s still a lot of hatred, plus there’s Blaine and Sal.
Does Mike hate humanity, or does he just thrive on thwarting morality?
“It wasn’t Joyce, that’s all I know.”
Plot twist: everyone drew dongs on their own doors.
I suspected.
Amazi-girl : you have to be more specific and less judge mental, like this Billie girl I’m shore she’s not that bad and who’s her room mate again?
Sarah surely keeps minimal tabs on everyone… I have horrible trouble to learn other peoples names even if months have happened…
Yeah, I’d be like, “I’m pretty sure there are other people in my dorm, but honestly except for Joyce and that drunk who keeps trying to hang around us I can’t tell one from the other.”
And Jacob is now thinking “I probably should not stick my dick in the crazy.”
A poll that surprised Willis hasn’t put up yet is what character do you dislike the most, Better yet you can make two polls of this topic. What male character do you dislike the most and what female character do you dislike the most.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that most cartoonists aren’t really interested in encouraging people to think about how much they dislike their characters, more than necessary.
I know exactly which character I’d pick, but I definitely had a different choice when the series began and that character made quite a turnaround, so I’d rather not commit in writing to this new unfavorite. Maybe I’ll get surprised again.
He doesn’t need to run a poll, the results would be obvious, especially for the male characters.
I dunno, he could put up a poll with just Danny, Ryan, and Blaine on it and watch the fandom’s heads collectively explode.
Ranking Danny in with a couple of people who was created from the beginning to be assholes is kind of harsh.
She doesn’t mention Amber. But I’m not sure she has ever met her as Amber, only Amazi-Girl.
Technically at the floor meetings, even if they never interacted.
They interacted for real at TinyThunderGate.
You know, I genuinely wish I could say I have never done exactly what Sarah is doing now many time before. Unfortunately, I am not a very good liar.
Everyone’s a dick, therefore anyone could have drawn one.
But they’re not 100% a dick.
Well at least Amazi-girl wont be accused of profiling.
We’re basically going by hearsay right now, which is not the strongest form of proof evidence, but I don’t think we’re dealing with lies right no. . . OH NO! NO NO NO NO NO! I think someone snapped in the middle of the night, no longer able to keep himself in control. What was the name of Joyce’s boyfriend again? and DID ANYONE CHECK HIS DOOR?
Pro tip, never ask the misanthrope for a list of suspects.
Better safe than sorry, we would say.
In all seriousness. I blame Dina for the mass penis drawings.
First because when asked how long she had been there Dina admitted that she was there the whole time. Also, no one ‘ever’ sees her in a room until she makes them notice her. She’s the only one who could get away with sabotage this widespread without notice. And she could have done it for a perfectly good reason. She saw Sarah and Mike drawing them and thought she should emulate that because of the way people tell her to learn human behaviors.
There are a bunch of things that I’ve seen that makes me think this is right. Some stuff starts with the very first comic in this series.
Look at the progression of dicks drawn: A detailed one on her own door, which is an easy place to start because it feels safe. A very quick tiny one on the first door that isn’t hers because she’s feeling nervous about doing something bad. As she gets away with that, she becomes more comfortable and goes back to a larger more detailed one. Finally, for the girl she loathes, a large detailed penis. She was watching as Mike and Sarah messed with her yesterday, so she knows how much it will bother her.
Yes, but that implies that Dina would do something she thinks upsets people, on PURPOSE to people she does NOT know well and that have NOT done anything to her.
Dina thinks in an almost purely logical manner because she does not understand people well. To someone like that – drawing one on your own door would seem likely to upset your roommate (if she observed Sarah doing it upset Joyce), and she wouldn’t want to upset Amber. Therefore, drawing one on her own door would be illogical.
As she has no reason to dislike most of the other people, drawing one on their whiteboards seems illogical as well – the average person would do it to cover their tracks after doing it to their intended target, but that would require you to be aware that it would look suspicious if it was only drawn on one door, a thought that likely wouldn’t cross Dina’s mind.
It would seem logical to draw one on Joyce’s because she does not like her, but if she observed them using dry-erase markers that could be wiped off, she would not use a permanent marker – she would use a dry-erase marker because she would have observed others using them.
Dina does not think in the way others do – she doesn’t feel nervousness about things that would be logically scary to others e.g. Ruth in her scary mode, so I doubt she would feel nervous if she was the one to do it as well, and she likely would try to keep them more consistent rather than drawing them all differently.
I feel that it is more likely that Dina saw who did it, but just didn’t mention because no one asked her directly.
At the very least, ever-present Dina probably saw the culprit, but she won’t volunteer information without being asked directly.
Thinking from motive, Malaya could be trying to annoy and/or impress Carla with her “sweet prank”. She’s definitely tenacious enough to have drawn on ALL of the whiteboards, and obnoxious enough to use permanent marker.
Or maybe Faz is still on campus, trying to woo everyone.
It’s not necessarily obvious from a distance whether a marker is a vis-a-vis or a sharpie (for instance).
Sounds reasonable – except for whom you’re accusing. The detailed penis wasn’t on Amber and Dina’s door, it was on Joyce and Sarah’s door.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/04-the-whiteboard-dong-bandit/cryforjustice/
Sarah’s too obvious to be the culprit, so I guessing Joyce did it. Someone here suggested sleepwalking, which fits with her current state of extreme repression. It also explains why she’s the most upset about it – unconscious guilt. Girl needs to get laid.
Have we established for certain it wasn’t Mike? Because seriously.
Sarah, you seem to suspect everybody of harboring criminal intent. You… have a serious future in law enforcement.
I would not be Sarah for all the money in the world. I wouldn’t even be Sarah for all the money in the world *and* my own X-Wing.
Sarah in an X-Wing?
…The trash talk each time she shoots down a mook would be entertaining.
…the world in Sarahvision.
Sarah, your judgmental jerkwad is showing.
You’re only a jerkwad if you act jerkwaddy due to your judgmentalism. Sarah doesn’t. (She’d definitely judgmental though.)
Does Joyce sleep walk?
Plot twist: Joyce did it. She sleep-walks along with those crazy dreams of hers.
Sleep-walking never occurred to me. It would make more sense than a split-personality – Joyce isn’t THAT psycho.
Yet.
Sarah mentions everyone except who I think is the actual culprit.
Dina clearly is a criminal mastermind.
She also doesn’t mention Amber.
“That weird kid who just stays in her room playing computer games or something all the time? Probably not her. I mean, I don’t find her nearly as annoying as the people I have to actually interact with.”
She also doesn’t mention Sierra.
And don’t even get her started on the REST of humanity. They probably had a hand in this as well…
AHAHA I JUST REALIZED.
I think I know who did it!
Who was last seen in the Girl’s Dorm, but whose fate was never resolved?
FAZ! He is simply trying to show to these girls the glory of the Faz’s… whatever… creepy pet name he has for it, and was simply trying to draw it as accurately as he could.
Faz, when last seen, was bound and gagged and had been turned over to Ruth as something that had been delivered to the wrong address and was being returned to sender. He has been returned to whence he came — or is at least still in transit.
I bet Sydney Yus is Agatha’s roomate
It has been my theory since day one that Sydney is the culprit.
And this is why Sarah’s not a good person.
Because she comes up with a list when specifically asked to come up with a list of potential suspects? She’s even helping specifically because Joyce was upset about it.
Because she hates everyone.
Sarah’s like this people people judge her harshly. Um, like you just did.
No, she’s just a misanthropist.
She’s a misanthrope because she tried to help somebody out and got burned badly by it.
That doesn’t justify seeing the worst in everyone around her.
Misanthropy is just as naive, if not more so, as idealism.
Really what I’m saying here is that just because people were mean to her doesn’t make it right to continue the cycle of negativity by oozing hatred towards the world around her. She’s actively making the world a worse place to live in (If only a little), and while it’s understandable that doesn’t make it right.
lol
JUST lol
And I’m all caught up. I’ve now read the archive to completion for the first time.
…
Dammit
Welcome to the waiting game when come back here every night.
Nothin’ shakin’ on dingdong street
Used to be the heart of town
Don’t tell me this floor ain’t got no dongs
Just got to poke around
I still think it was Dina!
You know, Sarah being Joyce’s roommate makes a twisted kind of sense after this one.