A festival of broken people, blood flows in the center ring. Come one and come all, to the greatest show in all of Paris.
Nigh Heaven & Hell
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Heather Vodihn is on a simple mission: find her father. However she becomes entangled with two strangers with mysterious powers being stalked by a group with bizarre demands. Heather must learn to trust her new traveling companions, even if she is untrustworthy herself.
Monster's Garden
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Champion pit fighter Kilo Monster was content to spend the rest of his days tending to his quiet garden alone... until he met a curious robot girl and her human family.
Barbarous
Ananth Hirsh, Yuko Ota
A crummy wizard and an anxious monster have to get over themselves and bring order to an apartment building full of misfits.
Sister Claire
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In the troubled aftermath of a great war between Witches and her fellow Nuns, novice Sister Claire just wants a purpose.
Peritale
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A fairy godmother with no magic tries her best to successfully fulfill a Fairytale and win the respect of her peers.
ARISE, YE SKELETON KING
Brian Clevinger, Escher Cattle, Lee Black
A troupe of wandering "adventurers" down to their last silver "acquire" a map only to find the real treasure was the fiend they dug up along the way.
The Golden Boar
Magnolia Porter Siddell
A young woman joins a group of summoners who call forth Guardian Beasts to protect their isolated magical island. Unfortunately, her Guardian Beast is nothing like she'd imagined, and he's about to change her life, and everything she thought she knew about herself...
Angel's Orchard
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After the events in Demon's Mirror, Gerda has accepted her role as a Demon Hunter, and Cezar has traveled back to the Demon City. Demons have existed alongside humans for millennia, so things begin to return to normal. But an impossibly powerful Relic has been taken by one of the Demon Masters, and a silent war enters its final stages.
The Messenger
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In a ruin-abound town cursed with bad luck, Kai and Kalla--a young boy and a fledgling dragonbird spirit--take on a quest in hopes the reward will solve all of their problems.
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Ozzie and her best friend Kimmy are your average everyday normal art students – except one is an immortal vampire with superpowers and the other possesses a magic talking grimoire. Also they have to save their town from a demonic invasion.
Guilded Age
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Welcome to the saga of the working-class adventurer! Enjoy the complete story with new annotations daily!
Stand Still, Stay Silent
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A few generations after the end of the world, a small, poorly financed research crew is sent out to rediscover whatever is left of the forbidden old world in the south.
Little Tiny Things
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What are the little things that move us? The simple joys that warm our bodies and hearts? The micro life of insects that influence our world more than we think? The tiny steps we make everyday to have a happier tomorrow?
Lies Within
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Lysander's aimless and carefree life is turned upside down when he accidentally discovers that the cute boy next door, Simon, is a literal monster
Three Panel Soul
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It's a pretty rigid format but we keep the content loose, you know?
Dumbing of Age
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Joyce has been homeschooled her entire life until now, when she's suddenly a freshman in college! Things don't go well.
Blindsprings
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Tamaura, wrested into a world 300 years in the future, must find a way to save the magic fading from her country.
Empowered
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A sexy superhero comedy (except when it isn't) about the never-ending struggles of a plucky but very unlucky young superheroine.
Saint for Rent
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Saint Halliday runs an inn for Time Travelers. Unfortunately, he seems to attract other supernatural "guests," too.
Not Drunk Enough
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Logan Ibarra is possibly the unluckiest repairman in the world. A late night job should not have landed him in the middle of a mad scientist's squabble, but he soon finds himself surrounded by monsters and further madness with little tools to get out.
Augustine
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August and her ragtag group are just like everyone else, simply surviving in the treacherous Crater... When they stumble into what may be an artifact of the ancient past, their lives are thrown into a much bigger loop as they trifle with bounty hunters, monsters and gods.
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There's ghosts at your heels and fairy tale worlds ahead. What do you do? Jump down the rabbit hole!
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A historical romance with a touch magic and a dash of astronomy. It chronicles the romantic adventures of Sulvain, a sweet tempered necromancer and Raziol, a passionate 17th century astronomer.
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In a world where magical girls and their battles are commonplace, loss has become all too common as well.
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My folks were one number away from an all-night pizza joint. Sometimes we’d just take their orders and say that if it’s not there in 30mins it’s free. Helping!
We used to be one digit off M-OVIE (back when you didn’t even have to dial the whole prefix, let alone the area code) and we’d regularly get people trying to get the recording of what was playing that week at the local theatre.
Once number I had I kept getting calls for someone called Jennifer. One day when I told a caller she didn’t live there he responded with, “Really? Because she just gave me this number last week.”
“Really? Well, could you please do me a favour when you do track her down and tell her to stop? Because I’m sick of getting her wrong numbers; we’ve had this number for over a year!”
“Really? Oh wow, yeah, sure.”
And I guess he did because we never got a wrong number for her again.
Before I convinced my boss to lock his phone, he used to butt-dial me from clubs & parties at all hours of the morning. I had to let it go to voicemail and play it back for him at work.
Same problem, except substitute calls for texts and alcohol with drugs. I even got calls from bail bondsmen for whoever this was. (And i’d had the # for 4 years at that point…)
My phone number is identical to that of a female physical therapist, only the area codes are different. Every now and then I get people calling to make an appointment. one time it was an obscene phone call and i’m still not sure if it was a wrong number.
Back in the days of home phones (showing my age here), our number was one digit off from a State Farm agent’s. Used to get phone calls for him in the middle of the night from people who’d gotten in wrecks (and were frequently less than totally sober). Nowadays everybody has an (800) number for dealing with those calls.
I inherited the phone number of a deadbeat who was behind or skipped out on lots of debt. We got frequent collection calls for him for several years before they finally tapered off.
The worst part was that the dumb collectors couldn’t understand or didn’t believe that we had no connection to the guy, and kept trying to badger us for information about how to contact him. I even had one tell me that I had to have bought my house from him because the land line number stays with the house!
Reminds me of the movie Ruthless People….
Ring Ring…
“She can’t come to the phone because she has my dick in her mouth”
Hangs up phone…
“I love wrong numbers”
A few years back, my niece upgraded her phone, and since her old one was an upgrade to mine, she asked if I wanted it. Did you know teenage girls text a lot? And can’t remember simple things like “That’s not my number any more”, which she says she definitely told them?
i inherited the number of some inept businessman who happens to be my uncle. it’s been SEVEN YEARS and I still occasionally get calls looking for him cos the dude kept on giving presentation cards with my number on them and couldn’t be assed to update them. These past couple years I’ve only gotten a handful of calls tho so I guess it’s finally over, whether he ran out of cards or gullible clients ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Well, I know this person’s father died, the person has had some kind of surgery, and apparently tutors but couldn’t be buggered to tell the kid the correct number…???
Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.”
Sorry, I just can’t help continuing to spew out puns … I guess someone is going to have to gag me …
Well I don’t know if this is good news or bad news … but you would have me for company … when I was younger and more obnoxious, I’d frequently respond to almost any display of religiosity with some blasphemy, wait a beat and then say something like “see, no lightning, your god is a delusion”
Hey, ALL the best people are going to burn. Maybe those Westbro people are right – we’re going to hell. And it’s going to be one hot party! (So, whose bringing the chips?)
there are millions of demons scattered through hell, inflicting pain and misery to the millions of souls unfortunate enough not to have a moral compass in life, and also lgbt people cos god is kind of like that yknow. in a throne above them all is lucifer, or satan, the devil, commanding and directing his minions only for his amusement. this has been his kingdom, his rule, for longer than any god could have wanted, and more and more souls kept coming to him -some even unaware that the god they claimed to worship had abandoned their sect eras ago!
however, lucifer could sense something was amiss. recently, very recently, so recently mortals could probably perceive it, there had been souls arriving whose very essense was so deeply crooked that not even his own personal torment could break them. because the gods they worshiped were not his old rival yahweh, despite their claims, but a group of idols commiting the most heinous crimes of soulless, uninspired art, cultural genocide, general douchebaggery, all on top of skewed moral compasses and a ruthless thirst for money. he’d believe they were his very children if not for how friendly some of them were to yahweh and their crew. and sometimes, when a particularly rabid soul caused disturbs in his kingdom claiming that as long as it loved his baby boyfriend they’d be one less lonely soul, he feared that perhaps his fire was going soft, or that his fists were getting cold, or that his time was running short.
because one day, the idols would come to meet him.
and first things first the only thing worse than hell, is hell being taken over by an oh so fancy storm they weren’t ready for.
I have to comment on this, and yet I don’t know what to say. Everything I can think of falls flat (curse this world of hyperbole!). So I’ll think I’ll content myself with a simple +1 internet, followed by a slowclap.
Yes, that was one of my observations when I went off to university. The wildest girls were preachers daughters. Get them out from under their parents control and they went nuts.
They soured on her pretty much as soon as “I Kissed A Girl” came out. One fundie recently accused her of promoting a Satanic LGBT agenda with her Super Bowl halftime show.
… I wasn’t aware there were enough Satans to have a satanic LGBT agenda. I always thought there was just one guy. I also wasn’t aware our binary genders applied to them.
Her ringtone is not “I Kissed A Girl?” You really messed up..
I don’t know, it does appear to be on silent right now, she could have done that yesterday when she realized what the lyrics were actually saying. I know I don’t always listen to the lyrics & enjoy a song for it’s tune, only to cause embarrassment later…
She doesn’t have to. Observe:
“Hello? Oh, hello Mr. MacIntyre. Becky? No, I don’t know where she is right now. Did I what? Oh yes, she told me last night. Don’t worry, I shut her down and she ran off. Poor girl. Good bye.”
It’s all true. The question is, can she pull this off? We’ll find out tomorrow.
My money is on Joyce being unable to lie well. Maybe the slacker or the future politician over there could help her out, but I don’t know how they’d get into the conversation.
Why? I blurt out my sexuality all the time.
I’m into girls. Girls are great. They got Boobs, hips and great butts and kissable lips.
Step your game up, males.
Quality over quantity. Don’t say it more, guys, say it in a better, less obnoxious, and less intrusive way. And when the people around are receptive to hearing it. That part’s important.
I’m pretty sure “step your game up, males” was a challenge to males to have boobs, hips and great butts and kissable lips as opposed to a challenge to males to blurt out their sexuality more often.
I know you were hoping more for male support but since none have chimed in (at least assuming nobody’s commented since I loaded the page), I’ll be the first to support your position – I like girls too! We are curvy, soft, and by far the hottest gender
When I’d loaded the page, there were no replies to him at all. I assumed his comment was meant in a silly tone (as most of his seem to be, from what I’ve seen), and responded in the same sort of way I’m only awake right now because of waking from the most horrifically disturbing nightmare, so trying to stay in a lighter mood was helpful. It even managed to be horrific despite involving girl nudity D:
Well I am cute as shit. And I have boobs! But that’s more of a health issue…
(I get mistaken for a girl all the time (Even IRL). I’m pretty chill about it.)
I know, you get to like girls and you get to be girls! You’ve got to have rolled some pretty high stats before birth to game the system that much. I could’ve done better on constitution, though.
And I’d say that with Dorothy now knowing that Becky, Joyce’s bff, is a lesbian, she can put together the clues she got in yesterdays strip, except this new issue of “Becky is a runaway” is kind of shoving what Joyce was trying to say out of the spotlight.
If Dotty were Mike, she would answer the phone, sell out Becky to her horrible Dursley father, and immediately turn back to Joyce and ask “well, that’s settled then. so what was it about changing a gay boyfriend?”
Whatever Mike is, it’s not evil. He would never sell a person to those who would hurt them, especially since all he wants is for Ethan to stop being such a pussy. Also, he likes Becky.
Damnit….. *begins furious internet research to understand the alt text joke.* I alwats knew my damnable social life would somehow put me at a disadvantage against the rest of the world. I’ll be back, though.
In “Groundhog day”, Bill Murray is stuck in time and has to relive February 2nd over and over and over. I believe “I got you babe” is the song that plays on the radio when it wakes him up every morning.
yes, “Willis” should totaly be the new “strawman” (or “jump the shark”): “Damn [you] Willis!” – “this pizza is totally Willis” – “This is so willis” – Willis Willis Willis”
I don’t think Joyce is capable of lying without stuttering and breaking down, so I think she will probably either a)ignore it if she recognizes the number as Becky’s Dad’s, b) hang up when it’s Becky’s Dad.
If it’s HER parents though…Well she stood up to them about Dorothy. Maybe she can stand up to them about Becky.
“Hello, miss Brown, I’m sorry but Joyce is not availab… Yes, it is indeed the atheist ‘friend’ of your daughter who most likely try to tempt her to hell… I can truthfully inform you that Becky is not here… No the fact that your daughter is not answering the phone is not proof that she is… We are not in fact i the middle of a devil-worshopping lesbian orgy… Please, believe me when I say there is no need for you to tell her father to come here”…
Heh, you’d be surprised how amazing stuttering, breaking down, and babbling incoherently before mindlessly hanging up can work out as a defense mechanism. Then again, since Becky isn’t technically sitting at the table with her, she could always just lie by omission (amazing how many people consider THAT not to be lying)
It’s not lieing, you are telling the truth, just not telling the full truth. Yes, Becky is not there. She’s staying there, but she’s not there right now…
This is Willis we are talking about. I confess I’m relieved Mary hasn’t yet called the Dean to report on multiple Lesbian orgies on her floor, all of them involving red heads, secret lesbian babies, and perverse sexual lust
Crud, reading “amazigirl” and “dad” in a comment related to Becky automatically conjured to my mind the all-time supervilan team composed of Blain, Becky’s father, and Ethan’s and Sal’s moms. The four of them meet in secret every monday eveing and plot the downfall of their kids’ psyche
*deathly silence*
*daydreams fight scene in which sal and amazigirl begrudgingly fight together while ethan and becky screw with their parents psycolgically with bad puns and fart jokes*
Welcome to the present, enjoy your stay, you may join the others in the Waiting Lounge. The “Damn You Willis!” shouting comp is held in the gardens to the rear, starting several minutes after a posted comic. Puns are served regularly, so please stay & enjoy…
Wow, there are four panels of them talking calmly and rationally and explaining the situation without drama or missunderstandings or stupid jokes. OF COURSE Joyce phone had to put an end to that.
Walky has still to make at single joke at Joyce’s expense. Big sister’s lesson is still fresh i mind.
Sorry, we’re not really in touch anymore. You could probably Google “invader zim doom song free ringtone” and find something, though. That’s how I got the nyan cat ringtone.
I think Joyce will be smart enough to not answer her phone, and if she does decide to answer it she will likely make Dorothy or Walky do it and have them say she’s studying hard for an exam down at the library or something so that Joyce wont be the one lying.
LOVE the alt-text! Today happens to be my Mom’s birthday, as well, so…that would have been a much better present to offer her, Dave, than wrapping up Shortpacked!
Seriously, I’m impressed by Walky. Without any teasing or smartassery whatsoever he helps Joyce up from the pit she dug for herself last strip and turned the conversation into the four most constructive panels we have had since forever. Big Sis really made an impression.
I’m impressed by Dorothy’s immediate support too, but that goes without saying.
“Hello beloved daughter. We heard from Ross how he disowned his own child and we think that is wrong and an affront to the Lord, so we wanted to see if you have heard from Becky. We want to help her and care from her since her own parents don’t the work they should.
Oh, also, we love you and respect your choice of friends regardless of sexual orientation and faith (even that atheist one) and in an unrelated note are also totally onboard with your sister’s gender identity”
My secret hope for this arc is that the Browns come to support Becky and offer to help however they can, eventually realizing that it’s more important to follow the spirit of the Bible rather than the written word.
Also Amber reconciles her identity issues, Billie and Ruth decide to quit alcohol and get therapy, Ethan accepts his sexuality, and Dorothy then completes a successful bid or presidency.
And the hover text joke went whoosh above the heads of most non-Americans. (The movie taught us that Groundhog Day exists, but I don’t think a lot of us remember the date. I didn’t even remember that it was in February.)
Clicking back and reading a few strips forward, I just noticed what Willis was doing with Amber/Amazi-Girl’s text bubbles, fading from black to white as she changed her persona. That was awesome.
Loading ...
“Hi, is Sydney there?”
“Uh, you have the wrong number.”
“Oh… sorry.”
[/if this is like 90% of my phone calls b/c Sydney can’t be buggered to tell people her new #]
…THEN
*Cubedad*
“Hello, Sydney. What’s your favorite scary mo-”
“Wrong number, dude.”
“Fuck.”
APROVED
Could be worse … … I have this friend, who inherited the phone number of a liquor store that was apparently very popular, particularly late at night …
Is this friend you?
… … maaayyybeee …..
What’s the number?
Fortunately I … I mean my friend … has moved on from that cursed number … people kept calling for the whole year …. my friend … had it though!
My folks were one number away from an all-night pizza joint. Sometimes we’d just take their orders and say that if it’s not there in 30mins it’s free. Helping!
We used to be one digit off M-OVIE (back when you didn’t even have to dial the whole prefix, let alone the area code) and we’d regularly get people trying to get the recording of what was playing that week at the local theatre.
Once number I had I kept getting calls for someone called Jennifer. One day when I told a caller she didn’t live there he responded with, “Really? Because she just gave me this number last week.”
“Really? Well, could you please do me a favour when you do track her down and tell her to stop? Because I’m sick of getting her wrong numbers; we’ve had this number for over a year!”
“Really? Oh wow, yeah, sure.”
And I guess he did because we never got a wrong number for her again.
Before I convinced my boss to lock his phone, he used to butt-dial me from clubs & parties at all hours of the morning. I had to let it go to voicemail and play it back for him at work.
Bummer, butt it sounds like you pulled the right answer out of … {never mind}
Holy crap, the potential for blackmail material.
Same problem, except substitute calls for texts and alcohol with drugs. I even got calls from bail bondsmen for whoever this was. (And i’d had the # for 4 years at that point…)
Back when telephone directories were a thing, I had a number similar to the local CID. And the idiots misprinted the CID’s number as mine.
My phone number is identical to that of a female physical therapist, only the area codes are different. Every now and then I get people calling to make an appointment. one time it was an obscene phone call and i’m still not sure if it was a wrong number.
Back in the days of home phones (showing my age here), our number was one digit off from a State Farm agent’s. Used to get phone calls for him in the middle of the night from people who’d gotten in wrecks (and were frequently less than totally sober). Nowadays everybody has an (800) number for dealing with those calls.
I inherited the phone number of a deadbeat who was behind or skipped out on lots of debt. We got frequent collection calls for him for several years before they finally tapered off.
The worst part was that the dumb collectors couldn’t understand or didn’t believe that we had no connection to the guy, and kept trying to badger us for information about how to contact him. I even had one tell me that I had to have bought my house from him because the land line number stays with the house!
“Oh. Well if you somehow run into Sydney, let her know we gave her the wrong time for Robin and Leslie’s wedding.”
Nice.
My phone number’s one digit off from a restaurant. Those are the calls I get.
Reminds me of the movie Ruthless People….
Ring Ring…
“She can’t come to the phone because she has my dick in her mouth”
Hangs up phone…
“I love wrong numbers”
That is an amazing movie and you are my new friend.
*wailing* “I’ve been kidnapped by K-MAAAAAAART!”
Apparently, my phone number is close to a Best Buy’s Geek Squad number, so I get calls for Geek Squad constantly.
I’d say dispense bad advise but they’d get that with the real number.
“Have you tried turning it off and turning it on again?” *hang up*
A few years back, my niece upgraded her phone, and since her old one was an upgrade to mine, she asked if I wanted it. Did you know teenage girls text a lot? And can’t remember simple things like “That’s not my number any more”, which she says she definitely told them?
Um… did you know you can just change the SIM cards and keep the number with the new phone? I’ve had the same number for 10 years and 5 phones now.
i inherited the number of some inept businessman who happens to be my uncle. it’s been SEVEN YEARS and I still occasionally get calls looking for him cos the dude kept on giving presentation cards with my number on them and couldn’t be assed to update them. These past couple years I’ve only gotten a handful of calls tho so I guess it’s finally over, whether he ran out of cards or gullible clients ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I have the same situation with a Travis. Apparently Travis is very popular with people who haven’t called him in two years.
Well, I know this person’s father died, the person has had some kind of surgery, and apparently tutors but couldn’t be buggered to tell the kid the correct number…???
According to my roomie, the “Oh, no” I just let out sounded just like Baymax
Baymax: my favorite character ever! I am satisfied with his care
No! Don’t say that! He’ll deactivate on you!
Also, my favorite is Go-Go. EPIC skates. Unfortunately for me, I’m more of a Honey Lemon.
haaaaairy baby
We jumped out a wiiiiindoooow!
Ah and the phone rings, the shoe drops, and Walky sits down.
Not necessarily in that order.
Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! While millions of people were starving, the king lived in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was growing up.”
I’m sick of this fear-mongering anti-phone polemic willis has disguised as a charming college tale
Down with phones. When the revolution comes, you’ll be the first to not have a phone or whatever.
When the day f reckoning comes, the cell towers will fall!
When the day comes, you won’t get word and will miss it.
‘Cause, Duh! You got no phones…
The day of reckoning has encountered logistical difficulties.
“Joyce, this is Kaitlin. Quit stealing my GF”
“Maybe if you weren’t such a B-word”
“Don’t get mad at me because she decided to trade up. Oh, and we totally slept together last night.” CLICK!
“You broke it, you pay for it.” *micdrop*
But that was a particularly expensive Mike!
A nickel?
Your mom.
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for Becky.
That has a familiar ring to it …
It sure does.
You really have the best comments. This isn’t really my opinion, it’s just fact.
Kiitii ^_^ I have my moments.
*Pokes net a bit* Didn’t sound like Metallica’s lyrics, but felt related…
*Pokes net more* Ah, here we go. Is this the right info?
It bares similarity to a Metallica song
Ruth already had the Enter The Sandman ringtone.
No one is an island.
I’m more of an atoll myself. ^_^
So you’re the murderer?
#CommentsThatWon’tMakeSenseInTheFuture
#CommentsThatDon’tMakeSenseNow
#CommentsThatCouldn’tMakeCentsIfMikeGaveThemANickle?
#CommentsThatGetCuttOffByTheEdgeOfThePage
That’s just Mike, calling to let them know he already knows everything, but had to skip lunch because he has an appointment with their moms.
He skipped lunch because they gave him all the nourishment he needed.
But then we find out in a future strip that Mike is bulimic…
Why did you have to bring that up? …
…
… I have to admit it works really well …
My mind like God works in mysterious ways.
Wretch, how darest thou’ liken thyself to the lord
If it turns out that God exists, then I’m going to be frying for so many other things anyhow.
Sorry, I just can’t help continuing to spew out puns … I guess someone is going to have to gag me …
Well I don’t know if this is good news or bad news … but you would have me for company … when I was younger and more obnoxious, I’d frequently respond to almost any display of religiosity with some blasphemy, wait a beat and then say something like “see, no lightning, your god is a delusion”
Hey, ALL the best people are going to burn. Maybe those Westbro people are right – we’re going to hell. And it’s going to be one hot party! (So, whose bringing the chips?)
Her ringtone is not “I Kissed A Girl?” You really messed up.
As if Joyce doesn’t think that song and the singer there-of are a sin.
‘It’s a sin’ by PSB would also be appropriate
I don’t know, Katy Perry used to be a gospel singer and her parents are pastors as I recall. She can’t be that of sin, can she?
Have you heard Dark Horse? Having a song that bad must be a sin.
“Thou shalt not write shit music.”
Does that make Iggy Azalea the devil herself?
Yes.
No, that would be Justin Bieber.
there are millions of demons scattered through hell, inflicting pain and misery to the millions of souls unfortunate enough not to have a moral compass in life, and also lgbt people cos god is kind of like that yknow. in a throne above them all is lucifer, or satan, the devil, commanding and directing his minions only for his amusement. this has been his kingdom, his rule, for longer than any god could have wanted, and more and more souls kept coming to him -some even unaware that the god they claimed to worship had abandoned their sect eras ago!
however, lucifer could sense something was amiss. recently, very recently, so recently mortals could probably perceive it, there had been souls arriving whose very essense was so deeply crooked that not even his own personal torment could break them. because the gods they worshiped were not his old rival yahweh, despite their claims, but a group of idols commiting the most heinous crimes of soulless, uninspired art, cultural genocide, general douchebaggery, all on top of skewed moral compasses and a ruthless thirst for money. he’d believe they were his very children if not for how friendly some of them were to yahweh and their crew. and sometimes, when a particularly rabid soul caused disturbs in his kingdom claiming that as long as it loved his baby boyfriend they’d be one less lonely soul, he feared that perhaps his fire was going soft, or that his fists were getting cold, or that his time was running short.
because one day, the idols would come to meet him.
and first things first the only thing worse than hell, is hell being taken over by an oh so fancy storm they weren’t ready for.
I have to comment on this, and yet I don’t know what to say. Everything I can think of falls flat (curse this world of hyperbole!). So I’ll think I’ll content myself with a simple +1 internet, followed by a slowclap.
Have you met any preachers kids? In my admittedly small sample, more than a few of them were significantly more out of control than their peers …
In comic, Ryan is certainly a good example of that. :/
IRL, a good counter example is Marc Emery‘s son rebels against his dad by avoiding drugs and getting good grades.
Yes, that was one of my observations when I went off to university. The wildest girls were preachers daughters. Get them out from under their parents control and they went nuts.
That doesn’t earn you any points, given how prone Christians are to infighting.
They soured on her pretty much as soon as “I Kissed A Girl” came out. One fundie recently accused her of promoting a Satanic LGBT agenda with her Super Bowl halftime show.
There are YouTube clips seriously “explaining” how she it an Illuminati. Illuminatus?
… I wasn’t aware there were enough Satans to have a satanic LGBT agenda. I always thought there was just one guy. I also wasn’t aware our binary genders applied to them.
She has actually recently determined that they might not be.
Not recent enough for her to change her ringtone to reflect such.
Becky did it yesterday after she decided to make her move.
I thought Joyce would be into the son of a preacherman …
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp4339EbVn8
Eeeh you’d think, but after one very nearly assaulted her I think she’s a bit soured on the concept.
Yeah,, I’m with Neeks here sorry. Last time she met the son of a Preacher Man, it turned out rather bad for Joyce since the guy tried to date-rape her without the date part. It’s also been shown it’s still haunting her, so I doubt she’ll have anything to do with that song…
Besides probably get triggered by the muzak of it in an elevator.
Her ringtone is not “I Kissed A Girl?” You really messed up..
I don’t know, it does appear to be on silent right now, she could have done that yesterday when she realized what the lyrics were actually saying. I know I don’t always listen to the lyrics & enjoy a song for it’s tune, only to cause embarrassment later…
Oh, THAT’s what the screening calls was about.
What screening calls?
Becky’s constant use of Joyce’s phone, as noted earlier by Sarah.
Becky had Joyce’s phone for most of yesterday. She was playing Angry Birds and making sure Cubedad didn’t call Joyce
Will Joyce lie? Can Joyce lie??
No
She’s pretty good at lying to herself.
Pretty good? If I didn’t know myself better I’d say she was a world champion …
Nah, That’s Ethan’s award.
Well, they have been competing in the doubles delusion tournament so they both win. (And both lose in a way).
Ooo. +1.
All she has to do is ignore the call. For now, anyway.
She doesn’t have to. Observe:
“Hello? Oh, hello Mr. MacIntyre. Becky? No, I don’t know where she is right now. Did I what? Oh yes, she told me last night. Don’t worry, I shut her down and she ran off. Poor girl. Good bye.”
It’s all true. The question is, can she pull this off? We’ll find out tomorrow.
My money is on Joyce being unable to lie well. Maybe the slacker or the future politician over there could help her out, but I don’t know how they’d get into the conversation.
Oh Hell
Oh no.
Oh noooooo.
* Kool-aide Man busts through the wall*
OH YEEEAAAAAH!
Then the Kool-aide Man takes off his mascot head revealing herself as Becky.
Why? I blurt out my sexuality all the time.
I’m into girls. Girls are great. They got Boobs, hips and great butts and kissable lips.
Step your game up, males.
Are you suggesting that men ought to talk about their sexual attractions MORE often? Cause I’m really okay with that not happening.
Word
I second this motion. In the interest of disclosure and clarification, I am a straight guy, and I think this would suck for everyone involved.
Quality over quantity. Don’t say it more, guys, say it in a better, less obnoxious, and less intrusive way. And when the people around are receptive to hearing it. That part’s important.
“HOT HOT SEXXENGS!!!” <- How not to say it.
I’m pretty sure “step your game up, males” was a challenge to males to have boobs, hips and great butts and kissable lips as opposed to a challenge to males to blurt out their sexuality more often.
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner.
Ooooohhh okay.
In hindsight, considering Yotomoe, that really ought to have been the first interpretation we jumped to.
It should’ve. I’m very dissapointed in all of you.
I know you were hoping more for male support but since none have chimed in (at least assuming nobody’s commented since I loaded the page), I’ll be the first to support your position – I like girls too! We are curvy, soft, and by far the hottest gender
Nothing wrong with that. I didn’t mean to attack Yotomoe in any way, I just wasn’t quite sure what he meant.
When I’d loaded the page, there were no replies to him at all. I assumed his comment was meant in a silly tone (as most of his seem to be, from what I’ve seen), and responded in the same sort of way
I’m only awake right now because of waking from the most horrifically disturbing nightmare, so trying to stay in a lighter mood was helpful. It even managed to be horrific despite involving girl nudity D:
I don’t know why I assumed Yotome is a girl. Sorry ’bout that
Well I am cute as shit. And I have boobs! But that’s more of a health issue…
(I get mistaken for a girl all the time (Even IRL). I’m pretty chill about it.)
Right? I don’t understand how everyone isn’t lesbians. Sheesh. I don’t get the appeal of dudes.
I know, you get to like girls and you get to be girls! You’ve got to have rolled some pretty high stats before birth to game the system that much. I could’ve done better on constitution, though.
That’s mostly due to insufficient exposure to James Deen.
Don’t forget those southing voices and crystal eyes.
Hey, they don’t all sound like Sal. Or look like Dina.
*dysphoria intensifies*
Crystal eyes sounds cool as shit.
I prefer northing voices, myself.
Straight guys really need to spend some time IN the closet so they can visit Narnia.
Since the bus to Narnia has apparently stopped running…
Not too many people would be willing to travel in a bus covered in sticky white fluid.
But, sometimes the only thing that will come for you is pubic transit …
There is some mutual exclusivity there. Boobs and butt maybe, but with those the hips kinda go away and get replaced with gutts.
Lady guts are still better than man guts.
Oh no. Oh no oh no.
And I’d say that with Dorothy now knowing that Becky, Joyce’s bff, is a lesbian, she can put together the clues she got in yesterdays strip, except this new issue of “Becky is a runaway” is kind of shoving what Joyce was trying to say out of the spotlight.
Aye. Priorities tend to do that.
If Dotty were Mike, she would answer the phone, sell out Becky to her horrible Dursley father, and immediately turn back to Joyce and ask “well, that’s settled then. so what was it about changing a gay boyfriend?”
Whatever Mike is, it’s not evil. He would never sell a person to those who would hurt them, especially since all he wants is for Ethan to stop being such a pussy. Also, he likes Becky.
He does?
I certainly thought so, but come on, he said that before he knew her (in any sense of the word), and it seems he’s changed his tune since.
“God is watching Ruth!”
“It’s Joyce.”
“Oh I’m sorry. It’s me Mary.”
Nah, Mary would never apologize for a wrong number. She’d just assume the person she accidentally called deserved a guilt trip too. So it’d be like
“God is watching, Ruth!”
“This is Joyce, Mary.”
“Well, he’s watching you too!”
Also, ha-ha on the alt-text.
Also, ha-ha on the alt-text.
Also, ha-ha on the alt-text.
Also, ha-ha on the alt-text.
WTF is with the same post over and over?
If you got the alt text joke, you’d get it.
Damnit….. *begins furious internet research to understand the alt text joke.* I alwats knew my damnable social life would somehow put me at a disadvantage against the rest of the world. I’ll be back, though.
Today’s date, in the form of a movie title. That is a clue to understanding the joke.
Hint: What holiday is the first monday in February?
Actually brionl, Groundhog Day isn’t tied to a day of the week like MLKJ or Presidents’ Day. It’s consistently the second day of February
I don’t get it.
Very consistently, for at least one person.
(tree fail, again)
Tempted to say “Nicely done, now here’s you’re toaster…
…And don’t drive angry…”
you mustve really enjoyed it
A+++
nice!
Nicely played.
Ring ring, Bad News calling!
“I got you, babe.
2/2
2/2
2/2
I got you, babe.”
Is that the joke?
It’s from the movie “Groundhog Day.”
Is it groundhog day or something? Or is this the day the movie game out?
February 2nd is Groundhog Day!
Is your profile picture from a webcomic?
Yeah, that’s May from Questionable Content.
In “Groundhog day”, Bill Murray is stuck in time and has to relive February 2nd over and over and over. I believe “I got you babe” is the song that plays on the radio when it wakes him up every morning.
I was trying to figure out how Sonny and Cher fit into this … now I’m really confused …
DAMMIT, I SHOULD’VE KNOWN!!!!!!!
This is going to be good. Or bad. There should be an adjective where things get really bad and then they are resolved, if not completely dealt with.
…
This is going to be Willis.
That is pretty much the best way to put it
yes, “Willis” should totaly be the new “strawman” (or “jump the shark”): “Damn [you] Willis!” – “this pizza is totally Willis” – “This is so willis” – Willis Willis Willis”
This is so Willis, it’s Willis Mackintire!
(I feel like I really screwed up the spelling on the last name)
“Somebody shouted MacIntyre…” “MACINTYRE!“
I don’t think Joyce is capable of lying without stuttering and breaking down, so I think she will probably either a)ignore it if she recognizes the number as Becky’s Dad’s, b) hang up when it’s Becky’s Dad.
If it’s HER parents though…Well she stood up to them about Dorothy. Maybe she can stand up to them about Becky.
Or be smart and get Dorothy to answer the phone?
“Hello, miss Brown, I’m sorry but Joyce is not availab… Yes, it is indeed the atheist ‘friend’ of your daughter who most likely try to tempt her to hell… I can truthfully inform you that Becky is not here… No the fact that your daughter is not answering the phone is not proof that she is… We are not in fact i the middle of a devil-worshopping lesbian orgy… Please, believe me when I say there is no need for you to tell her father to come here”…
Crud. That went well.
Crap … I was assuming it would be the Toe … but this is Willis land where Murphy’s Law really does seem to rule (more than usual) …
Heh, you’d be surprised how amazing stuttering, breaking down, and babbling incoherently before mindlessly hanging up can work out as a defense mechanism. Then again, since Becky isn’t technically sitting at the table with her, she could always just lie by omission
(amazing how many people consider THAT not to be lying)
It’s not lieing, you are telling the truth, just not telling the full truth. Yes, Becky is not there. She’s staying there, but she’s not there right now…
Nooo Dorothy isn’t going to realize Ethan is gay what is this
No no we need a bigger stage than this,on kind Of similar to when Joyce had that scene with her parents.
Way too Jinx it Dorothy.
She should Mr Mime it instead.
Used Lovely Kiss!
Used Sweet Kiss!
Arcanine is confused!
Arcanine was hurt by confuision!
Arcanine fainted!
arcanine is just an example but yeah that was really annoying Lorelei
No, let’s not Mr. Mime it.
We should Green Egg And Ham It.
*plays New Edition’s “Mister Telephone Man” on the Muzak*
Haha way to go
Gee, I wonder who that is on the phone.
Check it out
oh dear…this isn’t gonna end well.
Couldn’t work any worse than Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” as an apt ringtone at this point….
Can that be Danny’s silhouette in the background?
You beat me to it!
haah screen your own phone please!
haah screen your own phone please!
OR TAKE A BIG BITE ANSWER IT AND SPEAK IN FOOD-IN-MOUTH LANGUAGE.
Ohnoes If thats her dad or your parents, screen your own phone please!
OR TAKE A BIG BITE ANSWER IT AND SPEAK IN FOOD-IN-MOUTH LANGUAGE.
huhm.. I seem to have spawned my message in various stages. oh dear
I wonder what’s going to happen when Becky finds out about Joyce and Ethan’s situation.
Unless the phone call IS Becky, to tell her that, while wandering alone, her father found her.
*cringes more* nuuuuuuu
Noooooooooooooooooooooooo
Becky doesn’t have a phone of her own, does she?
I wouldn’t be shocked to learn her father had confiscated it.
She doesn’t, no.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-5/01-when-somebody-loved-me/sarcasm/
Ah, but are there payphones…?
…Alright, more importantly, WORKING payphones…?
With no mobile to call her own, she’s possibly memorized Joyce’s number…
*cringe*
I had hoped they would have time enough to make up a strategy before the parents came calling.
This is Willis we are talking about. I confess I’m relieved Mary hasn’t yet called the Dean to report on multiple Lesbian orgies on her floor, all of them involving red heads, secret lesbian babies, and perverse sexual lust
This plot’s so think you need a bread hook to move it.
Hey, the Willis is clearly not one to loaf around. He kneads dough, so the plot will be moved …
At yeast he spreads the drama out with some Joe hijinks. It’s butter to pace yourself.
I agree, we who dine on the crumbs from his table should be sinserely toasting him …
… I really hoped to jam some more puns in here, but I crust you’ll rise to the occasion.
Doughn’t count on it too much. I often fail to say the rye’t thing.
At risk of sounding corny, if not oat right floury, I’d say your contribution was pretty swheat … funny the website doesn’t think I spelt that right …
Thanks. I appreciate anyone who’s willing to go against the grain for a good pun.
Well, I’ve gone to seed a bit, but its all grist for the mill
These puns are worthy of celebration. A toast to your health, good sirs and/or madams.
I seed what you did there. It’s good sesame. Not bad, but good.
Joyce, setting herself I’ll since forever.
This is a Job for ….. “Amazi-Girl” .
Seriously, she is going to kick the shit out Beckys Dad when he shows up!
( Search your hearts, you know it is true )
Talk bout Triggers.
I hope not. I doubt he would lie to the police afterwards.
Crud, reading “amazigirl” and “dad” in a comment related to Becky automatically conjured to my mind the all-time supervilan team composed of Blain, Becky’s father, and Ethan’s and Sal’s moms. The four of them meet in secret every monday eveing and plot the downfall of their kids’ psyche
*deathly silence*
*daydreams fight scene in which sal and amazigirl begrudgingly fight together while ethan and becky screw with their parents psycolgically with bad puns and fart jokes*
“Did you think we wouldn’t smell something fishy about all this!?”
“That’s just the smell of all the pussy that Becky’s been getting.”
I finally caught up! Goddamnit, now I have to WAIT to read instead of just bingeing for hours on end.
Welcome to the present, enjoy your stay, you may join the others in the Waiting Lounge. The “Damn You Willis!” shouting comp is held in the gardens to the rear, starting several minutes after a posted comic. Puns are served regularly, so please stay & enjoy…
HEY! Why wasn’t I told about the shouting camp?
Also, is there automated lightning in the gardens?
Is that Danny in the background of the second panel? I looks like him
Well the midden has hit the windmill.
Jeez, just let it go to voicemail. You’re a busy girl in college, you can’t answer your phone all the time.
When it rains…
…things smell nice?
And in with the pain. WIL~LISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! [/WoK reference]
Joyce, you fool! That’s like saying, “This is going really well!” when on a delicate/dangerous mission. >.>
Wow, there are four panels of them talking calmly and rationally and explaining the situation without drama or missunderstandings or stupid jokes. OF COURSE Joyce phone had to put an end to that.
Walky has still to make at single joke at Joyce’s expense. Big sister’s lesson is still fresh i mind.
*doom doom doom*
I knew a guy who had that for his ringtone. (From invader zim)
O.O Do you still know him? Can you tell me where to get the audio file from? If he has to email me, All.Hail.Dina@gmail.com is an acceptable address!
Sorry, we’re not really in touch anymore. You could probably Google “invader zim doom song free ringtone” and find something, though. That’s how I got the nyan cat ringtone.
Well, FUCK. Of course it picks the most dramatic moment.
I think Joyce will be smart enough to not answer her phone, and if she does decide to answer it she will likely make Dorothy or Walky do it and have them say she’s studying hard for an exam down at the library or something so that Joyce wont be the one lying.
WHY ISN’T THE RINGTONE SUNNY AND CHER GODDAMIT WILLIS.
First you take away Shortpacked. Now you don’t make Groundhogs Day references.
YOU ARE THE SPAWN OF SATAN.
LOVE the alt-text! Today happens to be my Mom’s birthday, as well, so…that would have been a much better present to offer her, Dave, than wrapping up Shortpacked!
Seriously, I’m impressed by Walky. Without any teasing or smartassery whatsoever he helps Joyce up from the pit she dug for herself last strip and turned the conversation into the four most constructive panels we have had since forever. Big Sis really made an impression.
I’m impressed by Dorothy’s immediate support too, but that goes without saying.
I’m sure thats just her parents just calling to tell her that they’re also learning to interact with those who don’t share their beliefs.
“Hello beloved daughter. We heard from Ross how he disowned his own child and we think that is wrong and an affront to the Lord, so we wanted to see if you have heard from Becky. We want to help her and care from her since her own parents don’t the work they should.
Oh, also, we love you and respect your choice of friends regardless of sexual orientation and faith (even that atheist one) and in an unrelated note are also totally onboard with your sister’s gender identity”
#RoseColoredGlasses
#EvenIfItSoundsLikeATrap
My secret hope for this arc is that the Browns come to support Becky and offer to help however they can, eventually realizing that it’s more important to follow the spirit of the Bible rather than the written word.
Also Amber reconciles her identity issues, Billie and Ruth decide to quit alcohol and get therapy, Ethan accepts his sexuality, and Dorothy then completes a successful bid or presidency.
All in THIS arc, huh? Wow, things sure are gonna have to get crazy fast. Maybe Dorothy becomes student body president?
And the hover text joke went whoosh above the heads of most non-Americans. (The movie taught us that Groundhog Day exists, but I don’t think a lot of us remember the date. I didn’t even remember that it was in February.)
Ooooohhh, I get it now. I’m Mexican and I’ve seen GD but only once.
You just had to say it
Popcorn! Get your Popcorn here!
I’ll take some!
I’m imagining a re-enacting of this strip, albeit with differing characters.
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/incoming/
Clicking back and reading a few strips forward, I just noticed what Willis was doing with Amber/Amazi-Girl’s text bubbles, fading from black to white as she changed her persona. That was awesome.
FINALLY!! after 5-6 weeks of reading from the start i’ve caught up to the current strip! aww yeah!
The Code Lyoko theme was my ring tone but now its the 1st Jo-Jo’s bizzare adventure’s theme song becasue it oozes manlyness in a total no homo way