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I’m not crying, no, I’m not crying
And if I am crying, it’s not because of you
It’s because I’m thinking about a friend of mine
You don’t know who is dying, that’s right, dying
These aren’t tears of sadness because you’re leaving me
I’ve just been cutting onions, I’m making a lasagna for one
I am an introvert, and I can say that if somebody just really upset me with a random insulting outburst like Joyce just had, I would appreciate a big “I’m so sorry” hug by way of apology. :3
I’d probably shake them off and tell them to let go of me, if I’m being honest. In varying degree’s of loudness.
I’ve been a Sarah, hugs would be.. not conductive right off. Maybe when opening a dialogue later, after the initial rage/sadness had bled off, hugs would be alright.
Different people, different reactions. In this case, Sarah’s body language is about as unfriendly to overtures as it could be without her actually leaving the room; I wouldn’t try it if I were Joyce.
Unless Jacob’s having second thoughts about breaking things off with Sarah, I can’t see where his presence is going to help much. Guess it’s possible, and him showing up with his roomie Ethan isn’t implausible. We know he doesn’t want to go to Roz’s party.
Yeah I’m kinda hoping Jacob’s calmed down since the other day and is willing to talk things out… Maybe Joyce can advocate for Sarah a little, you know, convince him to give her a chance… But this is all just wishful thinking of mine.
Maybe she’ll explain WHY Sarah is pissed at Amazi-Girl and WHY she suddenly felt bad about laughing at Joyce’s naivite? I mean, if she won’t tell Becky herself but she does to make it up to Sarah that’s a pretty strong message to Sarah.
There’s also the possibility that Joyce doesn’t know about her argument with Jacob, and will invite him as an apology, making the party even MORE awkward.
She is very scared and is trying to do the right thing by her friend, and she doesn’t know how to help. Sarah is responding to the situation by trying to remind Joyce of the uncomfortable truths that Joyce is already well aware of.
Joyce responded with a snappish thing that she instantly regretted and apologized for. Didn’t even go “I just was” x or “I only meant” y or “You make me so angry that” n+1. Just straight up flat out took responsibility and apologized.
Sarah is bitter and disillusioned, and part of getting back to being a functional human being is NOT putting the wall up and saying shit that you know is going to make the other person feel even worse. And that’s not something she’s good at, because she got VERY badly burned with her old roommate and the people surrounding her. I can’t blame her for being in pain, but we’ve sorta proven time and again that her way of responding to the pain is to lash out at people who want to be there for her. She is the person you cannot apologize to, not because she won’t believe you mean it, but because she won’t care.
If Joyce had said something hateful, something intended to hurt, hell, even something just naive and bigoted and didn’t apologize for it, I’d be right along with you. But right now, Joyce is a scared little girl who is in a darker place than she has EVER been, because she is not only confronting the fact that everything she thought was good came from a perspective of hate, she’s also dealing with, you know, the fact she was fucking assaulted.
Yeah. I’m on Joyce’s side. I respect Sarah’s side, because she’s dealing with a hell of a lot of shit herself, but the fact of the matter is that Sarah is upset enough to say cruel things because of her OWN feelings, and Joyce is upset enough to say cruel things because she’s trying to take care of other people’s feelings.
Neither of them is right, but neither of them deserve not to enjoy a party. So NYEAH.
Huh? Sarah was absolutely trying to take care of other people’s feelings; that’s how this whole conversation started. “Being around you is painful for Becky; she needs space.” And for this expression of concern, Joyce attacked her in the most sensitive spot she’s got. It wasn’t a “snappish remark”; it was hateful (look at Joyce’s expression when she says it), and it was absolutely intended to hurt. It’s good that Joyce apologized immediately, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t say it, and it’s not the responsibility of Sarah, the injured party, to immediately accept the apology and make Joyce feel better.
Yes. Yes I am. 3-I already responded, but there is only one part that entirely sums up my response: “Joyce responded with a snappish thing that she instantly regretted and apologized for. Just straight up flat out took responsibility and apologized.”
I don’t think that’s what Sarah was trying to do. I think that Sarah literally didn’t have any more energy to put into making Joyce feel excited or better or whatever. She responded because Joyce said something to her; “Go, leave me, don’t worry about me. The less I meddle, the less I interact with you, the happier you’ll be. Get ready for your party and forget about what was done, and forget about me, so that I can forget how much I let you hurt me.”
Hey, you! Get out of her with your reasonable arguments and reflections upon the human condition as presented in this webcomic! Dont you know where you are? THIS…IS…THE INTERNET!!! Cat videos or GTFO!
Poof, You may stay we need more people like you to maintain a level of decency and humanity that I know exists. Your argument was refined, intelligent and concise; your response wasn’t just good. It was better then a lot of the responses I have seen on the internet. You can stay poof, you can STAY.
Sarcasm and humor aside, there are no “sides” in this argument, or rather, there is only one, and it’s Sarah’s – even Joyce is on Sarah’s side, which is why this is so effective.
We can be apologetic of Joyce all we want, but the fact remains that we ALL know Joyce crossed a line and it’s lined with one of those one-way-tire-puncture…thingies.
Sarah has had a couple of positive interactions with Dina, which is actually a big deal for her, but I don’t think she knows Dina well enough to trust her.
I hope Sarah’s book makes her feel a little better… :/
I don’t really have much to say on the topic of blame or anything. Joyce hurt her friend, and now her friend is hurt. I’ll worry about their relationship later. I just hope that Sarah’s book can make her feel a little better.
Sorry to break it to you, but that book is printed in columns, which means it’s not some fabulous novel or inspiring poetry, but *textbook.* D: However, it doesn’t matter, because Sarah (if she’s anything like me) is staring at a blurry black&white page seeing nothing except that spiteful look on Joyce’s face from a minute ago (and possible the same look on Raidah’s face when she has also thrown the Dana issue at Sarah). Wounded.
Oof. Yeah, there’s some buttons you just don’t push. And Joyce not only pressed it, she nuked it from orbit. It’s going to be a long time before Sarah is even half as emotionally open as she has been so far.
*hovering above Earth, in orbit*
Becky: Hey, Joyce!
Joyce: Hi, Becky. What’re you doing here?
Becky: Dropping a nuke on my metaphorical closet. You?
Joyce: Dropping a nuke on Sarah’s trust and emotions.
Becky: …Wow. That’s harsh.
Joyce: Yeah, I feel really bad about it.
Becky: Well, if you ever need to talk, I’m here.
Joyce: Thanks, Becky.
Becky: Anytime!
Becky: …
Becky: *whispers* I long for you.
Joyce: What?
Becky: NOTHING.
BTW, when you’re that high up, you don’t really need a nuke. Gravitational velocity is enough. Dropping a crowbar on the right trajectory can take out a tank. Dropping something just a bit bigger can take out a city.
Her emotion has given her the power to manipulate reality. So that means…if someone insults you, you can become a GOD!! QUICK, SOMEONE INSULT ME! Imma make myself win the lottery!
You SONUVAbongo, I LOVE THESE PANI have achieved oneness with reality. I…HAVE…lost it. Damn. Almost had it there. ANOTHER! *smashes larger mug against wall*
Nope. Doesn’t work because I like that reference too much. ANOTHER!!! *drives to store, buys “World’s Greatest Mom” mug for Mother’s Day, drives to parents’ place, rings the doorbell, smashes the mug, runs to car and drives back home*
…Yes…YES…ALMOST THERE! I can FEEL the threads of reality nearly unraveling at my fingertips. QUICKLY! More insults aimed at my mistreatments of those who raised me! ANOTHER! *drives back to parents’ place, picks up mug piece, glues them together, officially gives mug to mother, hugs her and my father, waits one month for Father’s Day, then repeats the same process all over again with the appropriate mug*
You’re so fat, when you sit around the house, you really sit AROUND the house!!
You’re so stupid, you don’t even realize this insult is about you!!
Your mug is so ugly, you take it out on other mugs!!
451 is a really, really foolish number. Just think about what it stands for. A reference to a novel that everyone thinks is about censorship but is really about television? The pokémon skorupi, for people who weren’t satisfied with all the other poison bugs? A generic multiple of eleven?
Liking it is enough to prove you are a fool, and that’s not even getting started about screech owls. Unless you need more? How is the lottery coming?
I’d say it’s about destruction of knowledge, actually, and the loss that creates for all. This touches on both perceptions of and much actual television, AND censorship.
Actually, it’s a random number that was attached to my username, because it was already used for something else. After that…just kinda stuck.
Also, thank you for recognizing the scientfic name of the Eastern creech owl! Seriously, I’m not insulted, I’m just kinda happy that someone recognized that.
I think this arc is showing me that I relate the most to Sarah and Amber as far as personality. This page really cements that for me.
That need to shut down and just let the conversation die because awful things were said and in the end nobody wins is something I really relate to…..
Yup. This is her not turning around to show the hurt tears. Later on, once the walls have been rebuilt, she’ll swing into “How fucking DARE she?!” rage.
It’s the only reason I can see her staying in the room, not wanting to let the hallway see her crying.
Nah, the last thing Sarah wants to do at this point is show any kind of emotional weakness to Joyce. Anger or sadness, doesn’t matter, can’t trust her not to use it as a weapon later on.
Sarah: “Go get ready for your party.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’ve been on the receiving end of something like this myself.
Unsaid meaning: “Have a good time while you can; we’ll talk about this later.”
I heard it as “Go have fun, if you can live with yourself. Or go think about how mean that was. Whatever—just go. You might as well leave, because you’re getting nothing from me. I’m done with you.”
I think it depends on the tone you’re putting in. I read Sarah’s tone there as flat, a complete cutoff while she processes.
(Largely because that’s how I work at these things.)
Read it as angry or pained and you get some of the other versions. It’s another good reminder that none of us are reading exactly the same comic, just very similar ones.
I didn’t read it that way at all. I read it as a closing off of the emotional wall. Sarah will not interact in any meaningful way with Sarah ever again.
Well in honor of the new star wars coming out soon:
Sarah: You were the chosen one! Your were supposed to destroy the posers, not join them! Bring balance to the gay religious fights, not leave them in darkness!
Hm, in Sarah’s situation I might have yelled back “That’s it, party cancelled” or “You can have your stupid party elsewhere” or something like that. I’m wondering if Sarah didn’t do that because after being hurt like this she just doesn’t have that kind of energy in her right now, or because she’s just not as vindictive as I can be, or if it’s because even after being hurt, knowing Joyce didn’t mean to say what she did, she still wants Joyce to have her party because she knows she need it. Or maybe it’s a mix of those things. Hm…
Yeah, I could see myself reacting how you described too, just shows how caring Sarah is towards Joyce, it’s a shame Joyce doesn’t seem to really realize this all the time.
Joyce seems to be physically incapable of being able to enjoy a party. Be it scumbag posing as a church boy or low blows to her room mates emotions, merriment at a pa4ty seems to elude her at every turn.
I sounds a bit harsh (for Joyce) but I think it’s literally the nicest thing Sarah could muster given the circumstances.
That’s… really mature of her. Wow.
i.e. “I’m too hurt/angry to have any sort of conversation right now, need to be alone for a bit”
If in that one fight you profoundly abuse the trust of a person who extends very little trust to anyone in order to hurt them, then yeah it can be. Sarah let Joyce inside of her walls and shared one of her greatest sources of insecurity and self-doubt and Joyce used that knowledge as a weapon against her so it would not be at all unreasonable for Sarah to just not let her back in again because she’s shown she isn’t safe to be open or vulnerable with anymore.
The fact that they’re roommates is going to mitigate this; it’s harder to shut yourself off from someone you care about, who you know is honestly sorry for saying the horrible thing, when you share a room with them for a year. They’ll patch it up eventually.
(Plus there’s the whole thing where the webcomic would be less interesting if they never spoke to each other again. In fact Sarah is likely to make up with Joyce sooner than she would in real life, because that could take ten years of our time.)
Joyce said it and immediately apologized, and she said it because she’s scared as heck about the whole Becky situation. Sarah’s sure to understand that… given some time.
I dunno… It’s going to take a revenge of the nerds level plot to fix this I think.. Sarah seems to be an introvert, and was already three-fourths of the way to shut-in mode before getting Joyce as a roomie.
Maybe she can go find dana or something for closure? But it’s gonna take something huge to fix things, and I dunno if joyce has it in her atm to not fuck it up.
Willis is harsh. Joyce had made so much progress so fast, and now she hurtz her Big Sister like that when/because Sarah was trying her best to help her take another big very difficult step with becky and joyce must feel aweful.
I know those feels…when you’ve said something so stupidly hurtful, know you’ve done it and regret it, but also know that nothing you can say will make it better.
I’m with Joyce’s dad way back at the start of the series – the furniture in that dorm is awesome compared to what we had in the 80s. We didn’t even have separate desks in one dorm, and the beds were army surplus from the 1950s.
I agree that Sarah dishes out a lot of shit she can’t take but, in the course of this comic at least, Sarah has never dished out anything as cruel as what Joyce just said.
Sure, but she’s gone out of her way to be deliberately hurtful at times for no real reason. She “deigned” to eat lunch with Danny, she wretched the first time she met Billie and every time since she’s mocked her, she flipped out on Riley for, what, walking next to her? Sarah’s basically made it a point to be as difficult as possible to everyone around her, for reasons that are way bigger than I can accurately sum up in this post.
I mean, Joyce was totally out of line here and I think Sarah’s much more complex than “dishes it out, can’t take it” especially because Joyce went right for the most hurtful thing possible, something she knows is a huge deal to Sarah. So I think she’s entitled to plain shut Joyce out for a while, and if they ever do get to talking about it than maybe they can have a more leveled discussion.
Oh I completely agree with you. I’ve been on both ends of the same thing, and shutting Joyce out for a while is basically how Sarah needs to deal with this.
And yeah I agree with you too about Sarah. She’s got bigger issues than most people realize.
Don’t open up folks! You never know what could be used against you in the future!
Nah, but seriously, poor Sarah. She just wanted some peace and quiet and no human interaction, but she’s getting imposed a whole lot of stuff she didn’t asked for.
I’ve had a *friend* who was like that. He was fun to be around, but never came to parties, and avoided social interactions if possible. He got his gregarious instincts satisfied on the internet, where he could just disconnect if people were bothering him with drama. He was quite happy.
I’m very worried that that is the lesson Sarah is going to take from this: she was right in the first place, never trust anyone and never let them in. And that would just be incredibly sad.
Sarah never signed up to have someone else living in their dorm room, and is doing both Joyce and Becky a seriously huge favour by letting the living situation continue. She did this out of compassion for Becky (who we should remember is a complete stranger to her) and her developing friendship with Joyce. Anytime Sarah brings up (very gently, for her character anyway) that this isn’t exactly a sustainable long-term solution for anyone, she gets nothing but pushback from Joyce. And Becky and Joyce just recently decided to throw a party in their room without even asking Sarah first if she’d be okay with it, and then completely ignoring her objections.
If I had a roommate who did any of the above, it would’ve gotten to the ‘Look, you are a nice person and I sympathise with your friend’s situation but we need to have a Serious Talk about the long term’ much sooner. I can bet Sarah wouldn’t have agreed to a third against-the-rules roommate or surprise parties before she began rooming with Joyce, so I feel like she hasn’t exactly been intolerant here. I am 100% not okay with how Joyce has treated her here in the face of that.
Note: I hope no-one takes this as my having a problem with Becky – her current situation isn’t her fault and she hasn’t exactly got a lot of options. My issue is with Joyce not even being willing to acknowledge that she can’t live there forever, and her poor treatment of her introverted roommate who has taken all this reasonably graciously. The one point I can see towards Joyce’s reaction is that Sarah’s argument over the past few strips might have sounded somewhat like concern-trolling (but again, this doesn’t excuse Joyce’s behaviour).
I mean, Sarah has done more than she was willing to, with all the batting the Joyce-aggressor and accepting the wackiness of all the eye-opening new experiences those freshmen are confronted to.
But she doesn’t want to. She made clear she just wanted some peace and quiet to not repeat her year again.
I hope Sarah retreated because she decided she needed to cool down before engaging this conversation with Joyce.
I also hope Joyce thinks about what Sarah said. This arrangement may seem like it works for now, but it’s not realistic to think it can last too long.
Gah, I can’t get over how low a blow was this on Joyce’s behalf. Sarah is by no means perfect and, yeah, she can be skull-breakingly blunt sometimes, but I haven’t seen her say something like this to anyone else.
sigh…ok, people. here’s the long and short of it:
sarah is a very serious person. she doesn’t get people wanting to ‘let difficult problems lie’ when it’s not comfortable.
before anyone mentions her social isolation, she probably doesn’t consider that an issue. other people have in the past decided for her that she needs friends and fought for that. she puts up with behavior like that because she does the same with the dana and becky issues: she sees what she considers an unresolved issue and pushes it. the reason that the ‘social nudging’ that others give her is considered more ok is because having friends and socializing is considered ‘the norm’ so anyone forcing anything on sarah feels justified.
when sarah pressed the dana issue, dana’s other friends weren’t interested in hearing about how she was doing worse behind closed doors. they got to see a smiling dana, and they took exception to sarah’s desire to (as they perceived it) unnecessarily pick at a scab. joyce is doing the same. but like some very morally assured people that i know, joyce’s brain makes the leap from ‘what this person is saying is not ok’ to ‘i am justifying lethal verbal force in this fight’ which leads to her blindly reaching back in her head and tossing the biggest thing she could find…which was dana.
sarah can be angry, we know that. we’ve seen her punch someone being not even that openly hostile toward her (granted, loads of mild abuse over time). but she knows joyce’s good intentions and fragile sensibilities. she can detect an accidental verbal attack. but it does hurt, no getting around that. sarah has reached a certain point, but she does not want to escalate, especially after the incident with raidah.
not trying to hold it against joyce, but not allowing herself to make things worse: that’s where we find sarah. and, yes, she is likely to keep her defenses up a bit more around joyce now. she probably let them down more than she had ever intended. but this is a web comic, and these are two characters that we all like. joyce is insistent, and sarah isn’t about to do anything rash to put a nail in the coffin of their relationship. it’ll take some clawing back, but things will get better. real as these people have gotten in our eyes, i just can’t see willis letting this fall apart completely.
Damn, that was pretty succinctly put, my dear poster. And you reminded me of the kinds of matters & themes that came with Sarah, the character, which is the kind of harsh insight that wears on you to uphold, but must be upheld anyway.
there's a lot of reasons not to act like "CalArts Style" is a real thing that exists but a big one is that it was coined by a known pedophile who was mad that The Iron Giant didn't look like a looney tune
Animated Antic@animatedantic.bsky.social ⋅ 21h
There is no phrase that I want to see die a brutal death more than "CalArts Style". It's 2025 people, stop using that damn phrase. Besides, I like that the character designs we're getting pull influence from international animation like anime and Aardman. It's cool.
Everyone who follows me should call their Senator this morning to urge them to vote in favor of Wyden’s point of order and remove the Medicaid funding ban for transgender care from Trump’s horror bill.
Alejandra Caraballo@esqueer.net ⋅ 2h
Today, senator Ron Wyden will raise a point of order to remove the Medicaid and CHIP ban on gender affirming care. The Republicans need 60 votes to keep it in but they only have 53. Call your Dem senator today and urge them to vote to strip the ban from the bill. Senate switchboard 202-224-3121.
I had no idea that the guy who coined “gay pride” is the same guy that pied Anita Bryant. Fucking iconic, a national treasure.
Ross Raihala (Alpha Male) @rossraihala.bsky.social ⋅ 21h
Happy Pride everyone. I wrote a column about gay rights pioneer Thom Higgins, who called Minnesota home for most of his (too short) life. I really want more people to know the story of this remarkable guy. Please read and share (gift link)!
It's always weird when people call deep dish pizza a casserole. I feel so bad for those folks. They've never had a casserole and don't know the difference between a casserole and a pot pie. Incredibly sad. Just pathetic, really.
adult transformers fans: man i hate when they make dumb kiddy toys where optimus prime is just some oversized playskool brick that barely transforms into a battle station
also adult transformers fans: FUCK YEAH STAR CONVOY
imagine being a kid who gets taken by his family to this church every week, every time seeing it's next to a trampoline park, and never ever going to the trampoline park
Hungary banned Pride marches. This is the response
Phillip Ayoub@payoub.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Absolutely incredible turnout for Budapest Pride! So proud of all the organizers, including some old friends, who estimate hundreds of thousands— major embarrassment to Orban
When the other dad at the birthday party clocks your nerd vibe and gets excited but you're tragically a very specific nerd
Board games? No
Dragons? Not really
Fantasy books? Nope
sorry, I'm only into gay robots and batman
Zohran Mamdani’s win has inspired over 3400 young people to raise their hands to run for office just since Tuesday. It’s now @runforsomething.net’s biggest candidate recruitment moment since the election.
A new generation of leaders is here.
Pick state from drop down. Phone numbers for DC office right there.
www.senate.gov/senators/
This link does the same, but you type the state instead of a drop-down. Expand selection and the numbers are tel: links for the number to call via outside line.
Super important: The parliamentarian made it so the ban on transgender care in Medicaid requires 60 votes. It's no longer guaranteed, but it passes if 7 Democrats vote for it. So every Democrat needs to get calls BEFORE this vote, hearing constituents oppose the ban. Don't let the New York Times win
Eric Michael Garcia@ericmgarcia.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
This means that Democrats will have to raise a point of order on this part of the bill. This would force a vote on the amendment that would require 60 votes. Republicans have 53 Senate seats, so it means they would need to pick off 7 Democrats for this.
www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...
Sarah: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyFtA40Ahlk
I’m not crying, no, I’m not crying
And if I am crying, it’s not because of you
It’s because I’m thinking about a friend of mine
You don’t know who is dying, that’s right, dying
These aren’t tears of sadness because you’re leaving me
I’ve just been cutting onions, I’m making a lasagna for one
It’s just a little bit of dust in my eye from the path that you made when you said your goodbye
I’m not weeping cause you won’t be here to hold my hand; for your information there’s an inflammation in my tear gland
You sorta got to feel bad for her, though… joyce struck her deepest nerve.
The first cut is the deepest.
Joyce, give Sarah a hug, NOW!
Also, damn you Willis! The feels! THE FEEEEEELS!
Pretty sure Sarah would not be accepting of hugs right now.
Introverts who no longer trust people are not huggers.
I am an introvert, and I can say that if somebody just really upset me with a random insulting outburst like Joyce just had, I would appreciate a big “I’m so sorry” hug by way of apology. :3
I’d probably shake them off and tell them to let go of me, if I’m being honest. In varying degree’s of loudness.
I’ve been a Sarah, hugs would be.. not conductive right off. Maybe when opening a dialogue later, after the initial rage/sadness had bled off, hugs would be alright.
I would only be ok with a hug if it was a close family member or friend that i have known for years. Not a roommate i have know for a few weeks.
Different people, different reactions. In this case, Sarah’s body language is about as unfriendly to overtures as it could be without her actually leaving the room; I wouldn’t try it if I were Joyce.
I don’t think anybody else would dare to try it in this situation, but Joycy’s just the kind of gal who might. :3
I reject your feels, & ignore my own…
Wait, did that come out right…
That would make a good line for a song.
Sarah: “Our Dana, gone! I, Sarah, now lead. Let any who challenge step forward.”
Joyce: “I challenge.“
HER FAAAAAAACE!
No.
Hehe, nice TMNT reference Doctor_Who.
nooooo joyce ;-;
When Sarah doesn’t say anything mean, that’s how you know you really fucked up.
How’s Joyce going to make up for this one?
Maybe by inviting Jacob? Not saying that would make everthing okay of course, but it might help a little.
Unless Jacob’s having second thoughts about breaking things off with Sarah, I can’t see where his presence is going to help much. Guess it’s possible, and him showing up with his roomie Ethan isn’t implausible. We know he doesn’t want to go to Roz’s party.
Yeah I’m kinda hoping Jacob’s calmed down since the other day and is willing to talk things out… Maybe Joyce can advocate for Sarah a little, you know, convince him to give her a chance… But this is all just wishful thinking of mine.
Maybe she’ll explain WHY Sarah is pissed at Amazi-Girl and WHY she suddenly felt bad about laughing at Joyce’s naivite? I mean, if she won’t tell Becky herself but she does to make it up to Sarah that’s a pretty strong message to Sarah.
There’s also the possibility that Joyce doesn’t know about her argument with Jacob, and will invite him as an apology, making the party even MORE awkward.
Joyce knows something happened, although not what exactly. Pretty sure she’s not clueless enough to just invite him and hope all will be well.
Sorry, I forgot about that one.
But what about ”Other Jacob”?
Buzz is he’ll be around, but unlikely to make an appearance till after it’s over. Tends to happen like that with Other-Jacob…
Wait Other-Jacob is also named Buzz?
Buzz Lightsaber per chance?
Brrrr did it just get cold in here?
“I’m going to sit in the corner, read my book and pretend I’m not in the room. That will show her!”
It’s not about making a point to Joyce. It’s about mentally withdrawing.
Yep. That back, that is a ‘wall’ back. As in:
This is the wall
I put up between me and you.
Ain’t nothing gonna get through.
Ain’t nothing gonna get through.
Wow Sarah – what a good way to make sure Joyce doesn’t enjoy her party.
…Really? You’re siding with JOYCE here? After that, she doesn’t DESERVE to enjoy the party.
She is very scared and is trying to do the right thing by her friend, and she doesn’t know how to help. Sarah is responding to the situation by trying to remind Joyce of the uncomfortable truths that Joyce is already well aware of.
Joyce responded with a snappish thing that she instantly regretted and apologized for. Didn’t even go “I just was” x or “I only meant” y or “You make me so angry that” n+1. Just straight up flat out took responsibility and apologized.
Sarah is bitter and disillusioned, and part of getting back to being a functional human being is NOT putting the wall up and saying shit that you know is going to make the other person feel even worse. And that’s not something she’s good at, because she got VERY badly burned with her old roommate and the people surrounding her. I can’t blame her for being in pain, but we’ve sorta proven time and again that her way of responding to the pain is to lash out at people who want to be there for her. She is the person you cannot apologize to, not because she won’t believe you mean it, but because she won’t care.
If Joyce had said something hateful, something intended to hurt, hell, even something just naive and bigoted and didn’t apologize for it, I’d be right along with you. But right now, Joyce is a scared little girl who is in a darker place than she has EVER been, because she is not only confronting the fact that everything she thought was good came from a perspective of hate, she’s also dealing with, you know, the fact she was fucking assaulted.
Yeah. I’m on Joyce’s side. I respect Sarah’s side, because she’s dealing with a hell of a lot of shit herself, but the fact of the matter is that Sarah is upset enough to say cruel things because of her OWN feelings, and Joyce is upset enough to say cruel things because she’s trying to take care of other people’s feelings.
Neither of them is right, but neither of them deserve not to enjoy a party. So NYEAH.
Huh? Sarah was absolutely trying to take care of other people’s feelings; that’s how this whole conversation started. “Being around you is painful for Becky; she needs space.” And for this expression of concern, Joyce attacked her in the most sensitive spot she’s got. It wasn’t a “snappish remark”; it was hateful (look at Joyce’s expression when she says it), and it was absolutely intended to hurt. It’s good that Joyce apologized immediately, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t say it, and it’s not the responsibility of Sarah, the injured party, to immediately accept the apology and make Joyce feel better.
Yes. Yes I am. 3-I already responded, but there is only one part that entirely sums up my response: “Joyce responded with a snappish thing that she instantly regretted and apologized for. Just straight up flat out took responsibility and apologized.”
I don’t think that’s what Sarah was trying to do. I think that Sarah literally didn’t have any more energy to put into making Joyce feel excited or better or whatever. She responded because Joyce said something to her; “Go, leave me, don’t worry about me. The less I meddle, the less I interact with you, the happier you’ll be. Get ready for your party and forget about what was done, and forget about me, so that I can forget how much I let you hurt me.”
Hey, you! Get out of her with your reasonable arguments and reflections upon the human condition as presented in this webcomic! Dont you know where you are? THIS…IS…THE INTERNET!!! Cat videos or GTFO!
what about Puppy Bowl =<
…Accepted. You may remain on the internet. SO I DECREE.
…I, I’ve never been kicked off the internet before. D’:
Poof, You may stay we need more people like you to maintain a level of decency and humanity that I know exists. Your argument was refined, intelligent and concise; your response wasn’t just good. It was better then a lot of the responses I have seen on the internet. You can stay poof, you can STAY.
Dancing hamsters are also permitted
Ok then.
Accepted! Extra points for using a gif of what appears to be a Bengal. You are now an Internet Noble! SO I DECREE.
An ocicat, apparently (cross Siamese + abyssinians or bengal)s)
There’s more the the Interwebz than cat videos. Mostly porn >.>
The internet is for porn!
The internet is for porn!
Why you think the net was born?
Porn porn porn… XD
I was expecting this
whoops, I thought that was a different clip of that session
w/e
Sarcasm and humor aside, there are no “sides” in this argument, or rather, there is only one, and it’s Sarah’s – even Joyce is on Sarah’s side, which is why this is so effective.
We can be apologetic of Joyce all we want, but the fact remains that we ALL know Joyce crossed a line and it’s lined with one of those one-way-tire-puncture…thingies.
Is this what we’re going to do today? We gonna feel things?
Hold on, let me check.
Yup, yup, my shirt is soaked in tears of sorrow. Tastes like unfathomable sadness.
Apparently…
I don’t know about your schedule, but I’m booked til 9am.
I’m gonna feel your mom today. For a nickel.
(FYI, that’s meant to imply your mother is a prostitute. Just so we’re clear.)
Dammit Mike, we’re trying to be serious here!
LOL!
DAMMIT JOYCE. You were the last person she trusted.
At least she still has Other Jacob…?
[cut to Other Jacob electronically picking some other person’s nose]
DAMMIT
There’s still Dina.
I’m actually serious when I say that.
Sarah has had a couple of positive interactions with Dina, which is actually a big deal for her, but I don’t think she knows Dina well enough to trust her.
I hope Sarah’s book makes her feel a little better… :/
I don’t really have much to say on the topic of blame or anything. Joyce hurt her friend, and now her friend is hurt. I’ll worry about their relationship later. I just hope that Sarah’s book can make her feel a little better.
You are a good person.
She’s reading count of monte cristo and plotting her extended revenge parade.
Ah, but it may take 15 to 20 years then.
Sorry to break it to you, but that book is printed in columns, which means it’s not some fabulous novel or inspiring poetry, but *textbook.* D: However, it doesn’t matter, because Sarah (if she’s anything like me) is staring at a blurry black&white page seeing nothing except that spiteful look on Joyce’s face from a minute ago (and possible the same look on Raidah’s face when she has also thrown the Dana issue at Sarah). Wounded.
Secret kindle of revenge hidden by chip bag.
Oof. Yeah, there’s some buttons you just don’t push. And Joyce not only pressed it, she nuked it from orbit. It’s going to be a long time before Sarah is even half as emotionally open as she has been so far.
*hovering above Earth, in orbit*
Becky: Hey, Joyce!
Joyce: Hi, Becky. What’re you doing here?
Becky: Dropping a nuke on my metaphorical closet. You?
Joyce: Dropping a nuke on Sarah’s trust and emotions.
Becky: …Wow. That’s harsh.
Joyce: Yeah, I feel really bad about it.
Becky: Well, if you ever need to talk, I’m here.
Joyce: Thanks, Becky.
Becky: Anytime!
Becky: …
Becky: *whispers* I long for you.
Joyce: What?
Becky: NOTHING.
I may have actually lol’d at this one
BTW, when you’re that high up, you don’t really need a nuke. Gravitational velocity is enough. Dropping a crowbar on the right trajectory can take out a tank. Dropping something just a bit bigger can take out a city.
You have to make sure it doesn’t burn up on entry though, otherwise it’s just a pretty light show.
Precisely why you need a nuke.
In space no one can hear you sob.
That, too.
XD
That is all I can say…
“There’s some buttons you just don’t push. And Joyce not only pressed it, she nuked it from orbit.”
Like a closet
What have you done, Joyce? You broke the Sarah!
Joyce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygQvB6OjHOU
Hello darkness, my old friend…
I’ve come to speak with you again….
About a vision softly creeping.
The words that were planted in my brain
still remain
Left its seeds while I was sleeping.
And the vision that was planted in my brain…
Still remains.
(Yikes! Note to self: your memory is untrustworthy….)
It kinda looks like Sarah just summoned that area as a study area out of sheer will.
Her emotion has given her the power to manipulate reality. So that means…if someone insults you, you can become a GOD!! QUICK, SOMEONE INSULT ME! Imma make myself win the lottery!
THERE’S TOO MUCH RED IN YOUR AVATAR!!
Let me know if that works!
also give me some money if you win
…Dammit, NO! YOU’RE RIGHT! I don’t feel personally insulted at all! ANOTHER! *smashes non-existent mug on floor*
THAT HAT IS STUPID!
(I want a share too xDD)
Your mother is a half-dime call-girl.
NO! It’s undercut by the fact that your username is Mike, and I EXPECT that from Mike! ANOTHER!!! *grabs mug and smashes it against floor*
You are careless and wasteful of mugs, and those pants don’t look good on you!
You SONUVAbongo, I LOVE THESE PANI have achieved oneness with reality. I…HAVE…lost it. Damn. Almost had it there. ANOTHER! *smashes larger mug against wall*
Making the same reference twice in a row makes for really poor humor!
Nope. Doesn’t work because I like that reference too much. ANOTHER!!! *drives to store, buys “World’s Greatest Mom” mug for Mother’s Day, drives to parents’ place, rings the doorbell, smashes the mug, runs to car and drives back home*
You’re really mean to your mother, which is cruel considering all the low-wage sex work she’d done to help pay for your upbringing.
…Yes…YES…ALMOST THERE! I can FEEL the threads of reality nearly unraveling at my fingertips. QUICKLY! More insults aimed at my mistreatments of those who raised me! ANOTHER! *drives back to parents’ place, picks up mug piece, glues them together, officially gives mug to mother, hugs her and my father, waits one month for Father’s Day, then repeats the same process all over again with the appropriate mug*
You’re so fat, when you sit around the house, you really sit AROUND the house!!
You’re so stupid, you don’t even realize this insult is about you!!
Your mug is so ugly, you take it out on other mugs!!
Don’t you dare insult my mug, you BASTAI am one with reality itself. What shall I do with this power?
Create and break mugs?
451 is a really, really foolish number. Just think about what it stands for. A reference to a novel that everyone thinks is about censorship but is really about television? The pokémon skorupi, for people who weren’t satisfied with all the other poison bugs? A generic multiple of eleven?
Liking it is enough to prove you are a fool, and that’s not even getting started about screech owls. Unless you need more? How is the lottery coming?
I’d say it’s about destruction of knowledge, actually, and the loss that creates for all. This touches on both perceptions of and much actual television, AND censorship.
451 is the ISO designated rim size in mm for on-road 20″ bicycle wheels. 405 is the BMX size wheel. Yes, I build bicycles.
Actually, it’s a random number that was attached to my username, because it was already used for something else. After that…just kinda stuck.
Also, thank you for recognizing the scientfic name of the Eastern creech owl! Seriously, I’m not insulted, I’m just kinda happy that someone recognized that.
I think this arc is showing me that I relate the most to Sarah and Amber as far as personality. This page really cements that for me.
That need to shut down and just let the conversation die because awful things were said and in the end nobody wins is something I really relate to…..
I relate the most to Dina.
SAAAAME.
just leave me here to die ok
Not the ‘old Jewish grandmother’ strategy. I HATE that one.
Agreed, but I don’t see the martyr play in Sarah’s actions. More likely she’s seething mad and keeping it tightly under control.
I don’t think Sarah is mad. Maybe that will come later.
Right now she’s just so hurt that she’s shutting down to avoid having to deal with it.
Yup. This is her not turning around to show the hurt tears. Later on, once the walls have been rebuilt, she’ll swing into “How fucking DARE she?!” rage.
It’s the only reason I can see her staying in the room, not wanting to let the hallway see her crying.
if she was, that’d have showed in her last answer to joyce.
Nah, the last thing Sarah wants to do at this point is show any kind of emotional weakness to Joyce. Anger or sadness, doesn’t matter, can’t trust her not to use it as a weapon later on.
Sarah: “Go get ready for your party.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’ve been on the receiving end of something like this myself.
Unsaid meaning: “Have a good time while you can; we’ll talk about this later.”
I heard is as “I’ll just sit here in the dark, miserable and alone, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Might be a cultural thing.
I heard it as “Go have fun, if you can live with yourself. Or go think about how mean that was. Whatever—just go. You might as well leave, because you’re getting nothing from me. I’m done with you.”
I think it depends on the tone you’re putting in. I read Sarah’s tone there as flat, a complete cutoff while she processes.
(Largely because that’s how I work at these things.)
Read it as angry or pained and you get some of the other versions. It’s another good reminder that none of us are reading exactly the same comic, just very similar ones.
Indeed.
Since its Sara I read it as “Give me room”. Canceling the party would just confirm the “Sara is an ass who makes her roommates lifes sucky”.
I didn’t read it that way at all. I read it as a closing off of the emotional wall. Sarah will not interact in any meaningful way with Sarah ever again.
So…. no more jilling off for her? D:
LOL. I messed that one off, didn’t I? Sarah will not interact in any meaningful way with Joyce* ever again.
Well in honor of the new star wars coming out soon:
Sarah: You were the chosen one! Your were supposed to destroy the posers, not join them! Bring balance to the gay religious fights, not leave them in darkness!
Joyce: Premarital Hanky Panky!
Sarah: you were my sister Joyce, I loved you!
Filed under “Life mistakes in a hotel dumpster”.
And another sad party for Joyce.
Really though, leave it be Joyce til after the party. She can’t do anything about this now.
It may be because my friend and I have recently been watching Steven Universe, but I’m now hearing Sarah in my head as Estelle’s Garnet voice.
I hear her in Lin from Legend of Korra’s voice.
So, wait…Sarah is Garnet, Joyce is Steven (clearly), Dorothy is Pearl, and Billie is Amethyst.
…That works almost too well, actually.
Can Dina be Onion?
Naturally. Additionally, Galasso is Mayor Dewey.
Hm, in Sarah’s situation I might have yelled back “That’s it, party cancelled” or “You can have your stupid party elsewhere” or something like that. I’m wondering if Sarah didn’t do that because after being hurt like this she just doesn’t have that kind of energy in her right now, or because she’s just not as vindictive as I can be, or if it’s because even after being hurt, knowing Joyce didn’t mean to say what she did, she still wants Joyce to have her party because she knows she need it. Or maybe it’s a mix of those things. Hm…
Yeah, I could see myself reacting how you described too, just shows how caring Sarah is towards Joyce, it’s a shame Joyce doesn’t seem to really realize this all the time.
Joyce seems to be physically incapable of being able to enjoy a party. Be it scumbag posing as a church boy or low blows to her room mates emotions, merriment at a pa4ty seems to elude her at every turn.
I’m impressed that Sarah managed to refrain from escalating that exchange.
Sarah is being mature about this. As mature as anyone can be under the circumstances.
I sounds a bit harsh (for Joyce) but I think it’s literally the nicest thing Sarah could muster given the circumstances.
That’s… really mature of her. Wow.
i.e. “I’m too hurt/angry to have any sort of conversation right now, need to be alone for a bit”
I have a sinking feeling that Sarah’s absence at this party is foreshadowing
Does anyone know exactly when the Dana incident occurred? I apparently need to refresh my memory.
Flashback starts here:
http://www.dumbingofage.com/2012/comic/book-2/05-saturdays-all-right-for-slighting/dana/
Congrats Joyce, you see this relationship? this one here titled “Big Sis and Li’ll sis”? You broke it.
Yes because one fight is all it takes to end a relationship.
If in that one fight you profoundly abuse the trust of a person who extends very little trust to anyone in order to hurt them, then yeah it can be. Sarah let Joyce inside of her walls and shared one of her greatest sources of insecurity and self-doubt and Joyce used that knowledge as a weapon against her so it would not be at all unreasonable for Sarah to just not let her back in again because she’s shown she isn’t safe to be open or vulnerable with anymore.
I don’t think it’s done yet. It’s going to need repair work, though.
The fact that they’re roommates is going to mitigate this; it’s harder to shut yourself off from someone you care about, who you know is honestly sorry for saying the horrible thing, when you share a room with them for a year. They’ll patch it up eventually.
(Plus there’s the whole thing where the webcomic would be less interesting if they never spoke to each other again. In fact Sarah is likely to make up with Joyce sooner than she would in real life, because that could take ten years of our time.)
Joyce said it and immediately apologized, and she said it because she’s scared as heck about the whole Becky situation. Sarah’s sure to understand that… given some time.
On the contrary I think once they make up (which admittedly might take some time), they’ll come out of it closer than ever. :3
I agree, I was being sarcastic
I know, my reply was for takashid
I dunno… It’s going to take a revenge of the nerds level plot to fix this I think.. Sarah seems to be an introvert, and was already three-fourths of the way to shut-in mode before getting Joyce as a roomie.
Maybe she can go find dana or something for closure? But it’s gonna take something huge to fix things, and I dunno if joyce has it in her atm to not fuck it up.
Willis is harsh. Joyce had made so much progress so fast, and now she hurtz her Big Sister like that when/because Sarah was trying her best to help her take another big very difficult step with becky and joyce must feel aweful.
but, but, but, the party is not fun anymore.
I know those feels…when you’ve said something so stupidly hurtful, know you’ve done it and regret it, but also know that nothing you can say will make it better.
Sarah’s bed isn’t underneath Joyce’s bunk?
Nope. You can tell in this strip http://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/03-men-are-from-beck-women-are-from-clark/impressed/ that both their beds are bunks (different coloured sheets) with desks underneath.
I’m with Joyce’s dad way back at the start of the series – the furniture in that dorm is awesome compared to what we had in the 80s. We didn’t even have separate desks in one dorm, and the beds were army surplus from the 1950s.
She can dish it out but can’t take it.
I agree that Sarah dishes out a lot of shit she can’t take but, in the course of this comic at least, Sarah has never dished out anything as cruel as what Joyce just said.
Now now, let’s not blame Joyce too much for being socially awkward. I’m the same way sometimes, or at least I was at her age. She’ll grow out of it.
As for Sarah, well…. what sisters don’t have fights once in a while? She’ll come around, eventually. May take a few decades, though, knowing her.
Sure, but she’s gone out of her way to be deliberately hurtful at times for no real reason. She “deigned” to eat lunch with Danny, she wretched the first time she met Billie and every time since she’s mocked her, she flipped out on Riley for, what, walking next to her? Sarah’s basically made it a point to be as difficult as possible to everyone around her, for reasons that are way bigger than I can accurately sum up in this post.
I mean, Joyce was totally out of line here and I think Sarah’s much more complex than “dishes it out, can’t take it” especially because Joyce went right for the most hurtful thing possible, something she knows is a huge deal to Sarah. So I think she’s entitled to plain shut Joyce out for a while, and if they ever do get to talking about it than maybe they can have a more leveled discussion.
Oh I completely agree with you. I’ve been on both ends of the same thing, and shutting Joyce out for a while is basically how Sarah needs to deal with this.
And yeah I agree with you too about Sarah. She’s got bigger issues than most people realize.
;-;
“Oh, and have fun.”
I’m really hoping this isn’t a case of Sarah giving up with having anything to do with Joyce.
Don’t open up folks! You never know what could be used against you in the future!
Nah, but seriously, poor Sarah. She just wanted some peace and quiet and no human interaction, but she’s getting imposed a whole lot of stuff she didn’t asked for.
I’ve had a *friend* who was like that. He was fun to be around, but never came to parties, and avoided social interactions if possible. He got his gregarious instincts satisfied on the internet, where he could just disconnect if people were bothering him with drama. He was quite happy.
I’m very worried that that is the lesson Sarah is going to take from this: she was right in the first place, never trust anyone and never let them in. And that would just be incredibly sad.
This this this.
Sarah never signed up to have someone else living in their dorm room, and is doing both Joyce and Becky a seriously huge favour by letting the living situation continue. She did this out of compassion for Becky (who we should remember is a complete stranger to her) and her developing friendship with Joyce. Anytime Sarah brings up (very gently, for her character anyway) that this isn’t exactly a sustainable long-term solution for anyone, she gets nothing but pushback from Joyce. And Becky and Joyce just recently decided to throw a party in their room without even asking Sarah first if she’d be okay with it, and then completely ignoring her objections.
If I had a roommate who did any of the above, it would’ve gotten to the ‘Look, you are a nice person and I sympathise with your friend’s situation but we need to have a Serious Talk about the long term’ much sooner. I can bet Sarah wouldn’t have agreed to a third against-the-rules roommate or surprise parties before she began rooming with Joyce, so I feel like she hasn’t exactly been intolerant here. I am 100% not okay with how Joyce has treated her here in the face of that.
Note: I hope no-one takes this as my having a problem with Becky – her current situation isn’t her fault and she hasn’t exactly got a lot of options. My issue is with Joyce not even being willing to acknowledge that she can’t live there forever, and her poor treatment of her introverted roommate who has taken all this reasonably graciously. The one point I can see towards Joyce’s reaction is that Sarah’s argument over the past few strips might have sounded somewhat like concern-trolling (but again, this doesn’t excuse Joyce’s behaviour).
Yes, exactly!
I mean, Sarah has done more than she was willing to, with all the batting the Joyce-aggressor and accepting the wackiness of all the eye-opening new experiences those freshmen are confronted to.
But she doesn’t want to. She made clear she just wanted some peace and quiet to not repeat her year again.
And now she’s seen as a party-pooper. Poor Sarah.
I hope Sarah retreated because she decided she needed to cool down before engaging this conversation with Joyce.
I also hope Joyce thinks about what Sarah said. This arrangement may seem like it works for now, but it’s not realistic to think it can last too long.
Gah, I can’t get over how low a blow was this on Joyce’s behalf. Sarah is by no means perfect and, yeah, she can be skull-breakingly blunt sometimes, but I haven’t seen her say something like this to anyone else.
I was expecting a… bigger apology from Joyce for some reason. ‘That was mean, I’m sorry.’ seems kind of… Joyce-lite.
Well, I think Joyce knows that bridge is WELL on fire. SO they weakness stems from her own realization of it’s futility.
It’s because Joyce still believes what she said, she’s just sorry for the delivery.
hey, i brought the chips (plain for joyce) and the party hats! i know i’m a little early,but-
ok, who died? it was justin bieber, wasn’t it
sigh…ok, people. here’s the long and short of it:
sarah is a very serious person. she doesn’t get people wanting to ‘let difficult problems lie’ when it’s not comfortable.
before anyone mentions her social isolation, she probably doesn’t consider that an issue. other people have in the past decided for her that she needs friends and fought for that. she puts up with behavior like that because she does the same with the dana and becky issues: she sees what she considers an unresolved issue and pushes it. the reason that the ‘social nudging’ that others give her is considered more ok is because having friends and socializing is considered ‘the norm’ so anyone forcing anything on sarah feels justified.
when sarah pressed the dana issue, dana’s other friends weren’t interested in hearing about how she was doing worse behind closed doors. they got to see a smiling dana, and they took exception to sarah’s desire to (as they perceived it) unnecessarily pick at a scab. joyce is doing the same. but like some very morally assured people that i know, joyce’s brain makes the leap from ‘what this person is saying is not ok’ to ‘i am justifying lethal verbal force in this fight’ which leads to her blindly reaching back in her head and tossing the biggest thing she could find…which was dana.
sarah can be angry, we know that. we’ve seen her punch someone being not even that openly hostile toward her (granted, loads of mild abuse over time). but she knows joyce’s good intentions and fragile sensibilities. she can detect an accidental verbal attack. but it does hurt, no getting around that. sarah has reached a certain point, but she does not want to escalate, especially after the incident with raidah.
not trying to hold it against joyce, but not allowing herself to make things worse: that’s where we find sarah. and, yes, she is likely to keep her defenses up a bit more around joyce now. she probably let them down more than she had ever intended. but this is a web comic, and these are two characters that we all like. joyce is insistent, and sarah isn’t about to do anything rash to put a nail in the coffin of their relationship. it’ll take some clawing back, but things will get better. real as these people have gotten in our eyes, i just can’t see willis letting this fall apart completely.
Damn, that was pretty succinctly put, my dear poster. And you reminded me of the kinds of matters & themes that came with Sarah, the character, which is the kind of harsh insight that wears on you to uphold, but must be upheld anyway.
All I was going to say was Joyce done goofed.
Well. That’s… uh…. Yeah, good luck with that Joyce.
Until that moment, Joyce thought she was ready.
HER BODY WAS READY
Tomorrow: Becky returns to the room and says something to make things more awkward
Can a party be pooped before it even starts?
WHY DOES THIS GIVE ME FEELs
THERE IS NO REASON FOR THIS TO GIVE ME FEELs