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'and she just seems suddenly more obnoxious now, somehow'
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September 28, 2023

Politics

by David M Willis on June 20, 2016 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - It All Returns

└ Tags: carol, hank

Discussion (723) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    June 20, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    What would Snoop do with a gun?

    (besides shoot one of his owners with it)

    Damn Becky flaunting the fact that she’s a human being with human characteristics!

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      June 20, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

      that’d better not be a “damn STRAIGHT she used to be beautiful!” face, or I’ll get MY guns

      *curls biceps*

      • cesium133
        cesium133
        June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

        Obviously it’s not stated who’s speaking, but I’m now picturing a creepy old guy (the pastor, perhaps?) commenting on how beautiful this girl used to be…

        • Arianod
          Arianod
          June 20, 2016 at 8:32 am | #

          I immediately jumped to the worst case scenario and pictured the youth pastor guy from yesterday’s strip.

        • Showler
          Showler
          June 20, 2016 at 12:58 pm | #

          For some reason I am assuming that it is a woman speaking.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        June 20, 2016 at 2:30 am | #

        She still is, but she also used to be.

    • Kris
      Kris
      June 20, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

      The canine uprising is inevitable.

      • JustCheetoDust
        JustCheetoDust
        June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

        Yeah, Rick and Morty already covered that.

        And Jerry proved that peeing on all our stuff to mark it doesn’t work.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 20, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

        Don’t you know? Talking about revolution sounds like a mutt-er.

      • Geneseepaws
        Geneseepaws
        June 20, 2016 at 6:50 am | #

        Drop the gun and put your paws in the air, Jimmy, here, has a leash and we’re just going to clip it onto your collar nice and slow.

    • JustCheetoDust
      JustCheetoDust
      June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

      Plant it as evidence for a crime?

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      June 20, 2016 at 2:02 am | #

      Argh, that link makes me so angry… I don’t care what kind of tool you’re using, learning AND FOLLOWING basic safety protocols is IMPORTANT. And shit like this continually pops up as evidence that people are way too gorram casual with tools.
      First bloody rule of firearms, never leave them loaded and always treat them as if they’re loaded anyway.

      • li
        li
        June 20, 2016 at 9:25 am | #

        I had a long long conversation with someone who claimed to be a responsible gun owner but also always keeps his guns, plural, loaded, in an unlocked cabinet by his bed.

        He was SO CONFUSED that I thought this was somehow unsafe. He insisted he sometimes locked the cabinet when “younger” family members came over, and scoffed at the idea that the NRA’s basic guidelines were good enough, but had NO RESPONSE when I pointed out that he and the NRA had all the same rules, he just had FEWER of them.

        Some “responsible” gun owners are terrifying.

        (My stepdad was an actual responsible gun owner, who kept his gun unloaded in a closet with multiple locks. I have no patience for people who do less.)

        • Skeptible
          Skeptible
          June 20, 2016 at 2:19 pm | #

          If your guns are for hunting or plinking at targets, that makes sense.

          • Li
            Li
            June 21, 2016 at 7:11 am | #

            No, it makes sense if you are a responsible gun owner, but thanks for playing!

        • RandomRedMage
          RandomRedMage
          June 20, 2016 at 3:09 pm | #

          A loaded gun in a bedside table that is not locked. Is a self defense choice. With that mindset, having it completely unloaded, and locked away removes its effectiveness to it’s purpose. Scenario, home invader, possibly armed, obviously a danger. You woke up because something breaking when they entered.

          Depending on your stance; You a gun owner with home defense in mind and have the firearm in the bedside table. Your now armed and ready to defend.

          Your a “responsible” gun owner who keeps all their guns locked up and away from everyone. Unless that lockup is in your room and you can get into it quietly, and swiftly, as well as load it ect, your in a situation where your firearm to defend the house is out of reach, such as a gunsafe in the garage ect.

          It really comes down to the reason you have the firearm. Seriously, I don’t think a such thing as a “responsible” anything exists, because one fuck up and that view changes, difference of opinion changes it as well. There’s no winning argument for any side of the debate.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            June 20, 2016 at 3:25 pm | #

            That’s pretty much my take on “responsible gun owners”. They’re all responsible until they aren’t and get caught at it.

            Beyond that, unless you have some particular reason to expect an attack – You’re living in a war zone, been threatened with murder, etc, etc, you really are putting yourself more at risk by keeping a gun in that “home defense” fashion.
            Unforgivably so if there are young children in the house.

            • Znayx
              Znayx
              June 20, 2016 at 5:27 pm | #

              I agree. What irritates me most is that the US is dangerous enough that these types of personal policies are warranted. In so many other places, guns inspire fear, not courage. In the US though, everybody knows it makes people brave enough to do crazy, dangerous things, and having a gun thus becomes safer depending on the circumstance. And yet carrying a gun around day to day as a regular personal possession is spreading the idea that this should be a norm that continues.

              They’ve locked themselves in a situation that looks a little bit like this: “Because there are so many dangerous fucks with so many guns out there, I’ve got to be a dangerous fuck with a gun to survive. Otherwise I’m an idiot. Trying to suppress gun usage is therefore stupid a bad thing.” So then everybody has that ideology, so the guns increase in number, and people wielding guns increases, and people who consider it regular increases.

              It’s a nasty downward spiral to a dangerous world. It’s a shame that along with a right to self-defense comes the right to permanently maim someone or end their life. It’s a wonderful country but I am glad that I don’t live there. 🙁

              • Maxine
                Maxine
                June 20, 2016 at 6:50 pm | #

                Is this how mad max starts?

              • thejeff
                thejeff
                June 20, 2016 at 7:27 pm | #

                Except it’s not really. It’s not that dangerous. That’s the image they spread, but it’s really nonsense.
                Horrible shit happens, but it’s rare. Especially in the places where people are most likely to think they need guns for protection. And most of the real dangers aren’t the kind that you’re likely to protect yourself from with a gun.

                Under most circumstances, guns really put you more at risk. Both from suicide & accidents, but also from doing something dumb that gets you killed if you ever do get robbed or something like that.

                I’ve lived in the US my whole life, not all of it in the best areas and I’ve never once felt the need to be armed for my own protection. As someone said above the percentage of people who own guns has been dropping for decades, they’ve just been buying bigger and bigger arsenals.

                • Znayx
                  Znayx
                  June 21, 2016 at 2:45 am | #

                  I was shaping my comment to my expected audience. I wanted to not get barked at by pro-gun dudes barraging me with insults because it has happened. So, I decided to engineer my comment and pretend to see rationality in their views… Simply to avoid conflict. It looks more objective and less of an attack this way.

              • ICSM
                ICSM
                June 20, 2016 at 11:41 pm | #

                Oh, you actually thinks that the USA is a really dangerous place to live.

                That’s almost cute.

                No, really. I live in Brazil, and compared to some regions of my country, specially the northwest, the USA is a friggin’ utopia. While you get mass shootings, we have daily executions due to drug debt. While you have armed robbers, we have open warfare between natives and farmers in the Amazonic Rainforest. We have a fucking civil war in all but name between the police and drug dealers that has lasted a few decades up to now, and then a corrupt part of the police started a militia and is blackmailing people right now.

                You don’t get to say that you live in such a really dangerous place that everyone should get a gun unless you have stumbled onto a dead corpse in the middle of the street and you first reaction was “oh, crap, not again. I wonder if this time it was the drug traffic or militia”. Because that is a thing.

                And our worst isn’t even close to, say, Africa’s worst.

                • Znayx
                  Znayx
                  June 21, 2016 at 2:42 am | #

                  I try my best to assume rational thought from people because that’s how I process thoughts. In other words I’m trying to justify the US because of the sheer, massive amount of people who have defended the possession of firearms from that country.

                  Now, regardless of the fact that I was engineering my comment based on past experience, your view isn’t something I agree with. That view that if someone hasn’t faced the pain you have, then those people’s opinions are somehow of lesser value, their complaints carry less power… Empathy and understanding are the abilities of a person to comprehend things that happen to others. Don’t go around and complain about your more massive problems just because people are going around the internet talking about things they observe (which by the way is perfectly normal).

                • ICSM
                  ICSM
                  June 21, 2016 at 5:18 am | #

                  I’m not complaining about my more massive problem, I’m just stating that the notion of violence in the USA being so big of a problem as to warrant everyone needing a gun is ludicrous, to say the least. Not because you problems aren’t important enough, but violence in the USA is almost a non-issue compared to half of the countries in the world, and yet not one has so many guns.

                • pencildragon
                  pencildragon
                  June 22, 2016 at 9:04 pm | #

                  Precisely. It IS ludicrous. Znayx was explaining the “logic” behind USAians who feel the need to have gun(s) in their day-to-day life.

                • Znayx
                  Znayx
                  June 23, 2016 at 8:00 pm | #

                  ^Thank you pencildragon 🙂

            • Robbzilla
              Robbzilla
              June 21, 2016 at 1:15 pm | #

              You’re really not. That’s simply untrue.

              That’s like saying that unless you live in a flood plain or in an earthquake zone, or tornado alley, you shouldn’t have home owner’s insurance. Or that you shouldn’t have health insurance because you’ve never been sick before.

              The whole fallacy about a gun being more dangerous to you than to a bad guy is just that, a fallacy. It’s based on a poorly worded study that essentially misconstrued the source of shootings, and completely ignored any use of a gun that didn’t end in a shooting. Anecdotal, but I personally have 2 friends who have related stories to me of stopping (at the least) an assault by simply brandishing their weapon. I have another friend who was tied to a chair, and thankfully not harmed, by home intruders. He wasn’t armed, and he didn’t live in a war zone.

              Bad things happen to good people. It’s up to us to make sure that we’re able to defend ourselves.

              It’s also incumbent upon anyone owning a gun to be safe and responsible with it. The gun should be under your control at all times that it’s not locked away. You need to practice with it, and take the rules of shooting to heart. You need to respect the fact that you’re handing something that can potentially harm or kill someone else, and you need to make sure your kids know the safety rules of a gun. It’s critical that these conditions (and I’m certain there are a lot more that I skipped in the writing of this) are kept to faithfully.

              The good news is, despite the media coverage, we’re actually at a low in terms of shooting. Liberalization of gun laws (and by that, I mean loosening) has resulted in us experiencing the lowest homicide rates since the 60s. And we’re still trending down. That doesn’t make the idiots who go on these rampages disappear, and it doesn’t make their actions all right. But it does put a little perspective on things.

          • Kinoko
            Kinoko
            June 20, 2016 at 5:21 pm | #

            *You’re
            **etc.

            And yeah, what thejeff said. Unless you’re in a warzone or otherwise have legitimate reason to fear for your life, statistically, you’re shooting yourself in the foot (lol) by keeping a gun that way.

          • Disloyal Subject
            Disloyal Subject
            June 21, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

            It’s pretty easy to keep a full magazine next to a pistol or what have you in case of emergency. At very least don’t leave a round chambered – for that matter, the distinctive sound of a pump-action shotgun chambering a round is pretty discouraging to any intruder.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              June 21, 2016 at 6:50 am | #

              I’ve often thought of just using a recording of that noise as my home-defense item.

        • blaidemaiden
          blaidemaiden
          June 20, 2016 at 7:34 pm | #

          My great-grandfather kept a loaded pistol and pepper spray under his pillow. Then laid my five year old self down for a nap on that pillow. Luckily, it was the pepper spray I found and sprayed all over. The ER trip for that had a way better outcome than it could have. My mom was so pissed at him.

        • Huttj509
          Huttj509
          June 20, 2016 at 8:26 pm | #

          I remember helping a friend move. His gun save was being carried upstairs. I made an offhand joke about dropping the safe and one going off. He got dead serious, and commented that they were unloaded.

          This guy is laid back and not serious about *anything.* Except guns. I really respect that.

    • podian
      podian
      June 20, 2016 at 2:32 am | #

      Four out of ten dog shooting man cases happened in Florida. Why am I not surprised?

      • AUnicornNoOneAskedFor
        AUnicornNoOneAskedFor
        June 20, 2016 at 3:41 am | #

        Please don’t be a dick about my home state. It’s not any weirder than anywhere else, we just have different laws about local news stories being published nationally.

        Do research. Don’t be shitty to an entire state.

        • Willoughby Chase
          Willoughby Chase
          June 20, 2016 at 4:23 am | #

          You have a point. The Mayor of Miami is prepping for climate change. He’s deffo got his head screwed on the right way.

          http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2015/11/miami-beach-global-warming

          • buckybone
            buckybone
            June 20, 2016 at 5:05 am | #

            Miami Beach, it’s basically a barrier island off the coast just east of Miami.

        • Gigafreak
          Gigafreak
          June 20, 2016 at 9:52 am | #

          You mean Florida doesn’t necessarily have more crazies than anywhere else, but it is more willing to broadcast the crazies for everyone’s entertainment?

          • LynziGraye
            LynziGraye
            June 20, 2016 at 1:18 pm | #

            Never let it be said we couldn’t take one for the team.

        • Strangeshapes
          Strangeshapes
          June 20, 2016 at 10:41 pm | #

          Thanks for explaining this! I have for years thought it was biz are that Florida always seemed to have more than its fair share of wackadoos trying to buy pot from cops in a patrol car and other hijinks. I’m glad to know it’s basically a sampling error!

    • Edhead
      Edhead
      June 20, 2016 at 12:35 pm | #

      He would pop it like its hot

    • ATN
      ATN
      June 23, 2016 at 3:24 pm | #

      Everybody in the internet keeps reminding me about The Plague Dogs!

  2. Slartibeast Button, BIA
    Slartibeast Button, BIA
    June 20, 2016 at 12:03 am | #

    Eyebrow lockdown!

    • Dara
      Dara
      June 20, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

      Forehead lines aligned and engaged!

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        June 20, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

        Initiating scowl!

        • Nick Piers
          Nick Piers
          June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

          Piercing stare torpedoes ready for launch!

        • Bemmie
          Bemmie
          June 20, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

          Now Doctor, just because you now have attack eyebrows, you need to be careful with them.

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          June 20, 2016 at 12:23 am | #

          Mega Thrusters are Go?

          • doomprix
            doomprix
            June 20, 2016 at 12:55 am | #

            Orion Fury, Stay On Target…

  3. Mr. Mendo
    Mr. Mendo
    June 20, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Uh-oh! Hank’s Hulking up!

    • TheAnonymousGuy
      TheAnonymousGuy
      June 20, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

      wow people off screen way to go sinning in church, isn’t there thing about being a gossip in the bible? – this is rhetorical I know there is, I just want be a bit checky sometimes

      • Dave
        Dave
        June 20, 2016 at 12:27 am | #

        As a FORMER catholic, I’m very certain there was a ‘Thou shalt not judge’…or something to that effect, I dunno…

        I was a pretty crappy catholic…

        • Ana Chronistic
          Ana Chronistic
          June 20, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

          Let he who is without sin cast the first stone…

          *Jesus picks up a rock*

          • Benjamin Geiger
            Benjamin Geiger
            June 20, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

            *rock sails through the air*

            “Dangit, Mom, I was trying to make a point here!”

          • LiamKav
            LiamKav
            June 20, 2016 at 4:05 am | #

            From a Catholic POV, Jesus wasn’t “without sin”. He smashed up the tax collectors tables in a fit of rage. He had a moment of weakness where he asked God if he had to die. The only person who had no sin was Mary. I dunno if that’s true for the other parts of Christianity, though.

            • yomi
              yomi
              June 20, 2016 at 4:25 am | #

              Wait, I’m catholic, too, but that’s the first time that I heard anything about Jesus being a sinner. I mean, sure, Mary is immaculate and queen of heavens and all that jazz, but she’s hardly better than God.

            • Shan
              Shan
              June 20, 2016 at 5:29 am | #

              As a former Catholic seminarian, nope. Jesus was without sin. That means that getting angry or having doubts aren’t sins. (If Jesus did sin then you have the problem of God sinning.)

            • B
              B
              June 20, 2016 at 6:09 am | #

              Sins are actions that offend God. I’m pretty sure the point of smashing the shops at the temple was that they offended God.

            • OvertonSquarehead
              OvertonSquarehead
              June 20, 2016 at 8:52 am | #

              Most Protestant denominations don’t venerate Mary or consider her sinless. Evangelicals and Charismatics see her as a normal woman who just happened to get a one time “special mission from God” but who was otherwise un-miraculous. They also believe that after one Immaculate Conception and Virgin Birth she had a few Joseph-assisted conceptions and non-virgin births.

              • segnosaur
                segnosaur
                June 20, 2016 at 11:55 am | #

                If she was on a “special mission from god” how come she wasn’t driving a car through a shopping mall?

                • Clif
                  Clif
                  June 20, 2016 at 4:37 pm | #

                  At night with sunglasses.

                • Slartibeast Button, BIA
                  Slartibeast Button, BIA
                  June 20, 2016 at 4:59 pm | #

                  It’s 106 mille passus to Bethlehem.

                  We’ve got 10 shekels of frankincense,

                  Half a litra of myrrh

                  We’re following a supernova.

                  And we’re riding camels.

                • thejeff
                  thejeff
                  June 20, 2016 at 7:27 pm | #

                  Hit it.

              • Lovely Monsters
                Lovely Monsters
                June 20, 2016 at 7:36 pm | #

                The Immaculate Conception is the belief that Mary herself was free from original sin, being kept in a sort of sin-free bubble by God so Jesus would have a clean place to come from. Protestants generally don’t believe in it.

            • KKoro
              KKoro
              June 20, 2016 at 1:10 pm | #

              Yeah, that is just…no. Official Catholic Dogma is that if Jesus had sinned even in the slightest way, his death wouldn’t have meant diddly squat because he wouldn’t be a perfect sacrifice.

              Whatever priest taught you this is out of their got-dang mind.

        • Stu
          Stu
          June 20, 2016 at 1:49 am | #

          “Eh, the bible says a lotta things. Shove her!”

          • Cybersnark
            Cybersnark
            June 20, 2016 at 10:56 am | #

            And it’s notoriously fuzzy about kneecaps.

        • OctopusGardener
          OctopusGardener
          June 21, 2016 at 5:42 pm | #

          “Judge not, lest ye be judged in kind.”

          • OctopusGardener
            OctopusGardener
            June 21, 2016 at 5:46 pm | #

            Possibly not actual Catholic dogma, but close enough to the ideal that I’ve added it to my personal dogma.

      • No Name
        No Name
        June 20, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

        All I know, as a guy who was raised outside of this whole religion business, is “let he who is without sin cast the first stone”. Followed buy a huge boulder being thrown over the crowd and Jesus shouting “MOM!” Though I think that second bit is blasphemy. Hilarious blasphemy.

        • Benjamin Geiger
          Benjamin Geiger
          June 20, 2016 at 12:45 am | #

          Ack, ninja’d.

        • Neeks
          Neeks
          June 20, 2016 at 2:10 am | #

          There’s also “judge not, lest ye be judged,” but I couldn’t tell you book/chapter/verse/etc. Proverbs maybe? Heck, maybe it’s not even from the bible.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            June 20, 2016 at 2:38 am | #

            Matthew 7:1 according to Google. (As a Weddingandfuneralist, I only heard it from that episode of Psych that parodied Twin Peaks.)

            Looks like Hank’s getting ready to invoke Austin 3:16.

          • TheAnonymousGuy
            TheAnonymousGuy
            June 20, 2016 at 2:45 am | #

            oh it’s biblical. Matthew 7: 1-3

        • trlkly
          trlkly
          June 20, 2016 at 5:01 am | #

          Honestly, I’m not sure why more has not been made of the “let he who is without sin” part being an addon to the Bible. It honestly seems like a thing people want to ignore.

      • Mollyscribbles
        Mollyscribbles
        June 20, 2016 at 2:28 am | #

        Tried Google and it looks like it’s mostly regarding slander/bearing false witness rather than holding stupid opinions. Ah, Titus 3 – “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.”

    • Fridge_Logik
      Fridge_Logik
      June 20, 2016 at 12:24 am | #

      “Politics” or “Hank learns some humility.

  4. chris73
    chris73
    June 20, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Hank smash!

  5. Heff
    Heff
    June 20, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Return of Cool Dad?

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      June 20, 2016 at 2:04 am | #

      Cool Dad 2: Dad Harder

      • SgtWadeyWilson
        SgtWadeyWilson
        June 20, 2016 at 2:43 am | #

        So what next?
        Cool Dad 3: In Space
        Cool Dad 4: the Wrath of Mom
        Cool Dad Returns
        Rise of the Coolness of the Dad

        • Mordecai
          Mordecai
          June 20, 2016 at 3:09 am | #

          My god, these are great. You guys are clever.
          Here is my contribution.

          The Prequels-
          Cool Dad I: The Phantom Bigot
          Cool Dad II: Attack of the Church
          Cool Dad III: Revenge of the Kids

          The Original Trilogy-
          Cool Dad IV: A New Hope
          Cool Dad V: The Family Strikes Back
          Cool Dad VI: Return of the Father

          The Sequels-
          Cool Dad VII: Divorce Awakens

          seewhatididthere

          • DSL
            DSL
            June 20, 2016 at 5:36 am | #

            Cool Dad Into Darkness

          • Poofdepoof
            Poofdepoof
            June 20, 2016 at 3:39 pm | #

            Divorce Awakens is amazing omg

    • Historyman68
      Historyman68
      June 20, 2016 at 7:43 am | #

      Dad 2: Electric Boogaloo?

    • SonicBlueRanger
      SonicBlueRanger
      June 20, 2016 at 11:42 am | #

      Cool Dad Saves the Kids. *Runs*

  6. Shiro
    Shiro
    June 20, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Aaaaand it starts.

    Hank, you’re up, don’t disappoint me here.

    • Huttj509
      Huttj509
      June 20, 2016 at 8:33 pm | #

      I feel the need to comment…

      Taking a vocal stand, knowing that it will probably cut you off from your church, your community, your friends, and probably your wife and half your kids…is really freaking hard.

      I mean, I want Hank to stand up. I’ll be disappointed if he doesn’t, but it’ll be an understanding disappointed.

    • Adept Arcanist
      Adept Arcanist
      June 20, 2016 at 10:23 pm | #

      I think (hope) that we’re about to see where Joyce gets her well-intentioned righteous fury from, not just the blue eyes. Go Hank!

  7. Cattleprod
    Cattleprod
    June 20, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Carol getting swallowed up by a sinkhole can’t happen soon enough.

    • TemporalShrew
      TemporalShrew
      June 20, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      I mean, that’s not Carol speaking, if you consider the direction of the text box. Unless that’s just sort of a general statement.

      • Cattleprod
        Cattleprod
        June 20, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

        I am NOT observant. I missed her standing there, saw her in the tags, and so assumed the off-panel voice was her. And I skipped making that sinkhole comment and comics where she actually did stuff.

      • Schpoonman
        Schpoonman
        June 20, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

        No, it’s definitely Carol. It would be pointing at Mustache Guy if it were him talking. It makes sense for Carol to interject here, and she’s all the more repugnant for it.

        • TemporalShrew
          TemporalShrew
          June 20, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

          But I’m pretty sure there’s no interjection occurring. It seems more like Hank is hearing either passers-by or standers-about talking. Casually eavesdropping, if you will.

          • Norah
            Norah
            June 20, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

            The first panel shows some talking that’s not intelligible, probably indicating that Hank isn’t really listening to it because he’s involved in a conversation. This unintelligible-to-Hank (and us) talking is coming from the general direction to the bookstore, not Carol. In the next three panels, Hank is now aware of what the talkers in or near the bookstore are saying.

            TL;DR: it’s not Carol saying the horrible things this time. Though she’d totally agree with them.

            • Norah
              Norah
              June 20, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

              The general direction OF the bookstore, not to.

          • Kinoko
            Kinoko
            June 20, 2016 at 5:47 pm | #

            There’s some confusion here between commenters.

            In panel 1, Carol is saying “I keep telling him he needs a gun”, but that’s not the text Cattleprod was talking about. In panels 2-5, some unseen characters are badmouthing Becky off-panel.

        • modulusshift
          modulusshift
          June 20, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

          They’re in the book store.

          • begbert2
            begbert2
            June 20, 2016 at 2:25 am | #

            It’s not actually a book store; it’s the “Crook Whore”. It’s where they keep the bad people (as we can plainly hear).

            • yomi
              yomi
              June 20, 2016 at 4:32 am | #

              Great comment!

        • Heavensrun
          Heavensrun
          June 20, 2016 at 12:38 am | #

          Hank is listening to a seperate conversation from the background. The mumbly word baloon in the first panel coming from very definitely not Carol is supposed to lead us into understanding that.

        • SDGlyph
          SDGlyph
          June 20, 2016 at 2:56 am | #

          The wavy balloon tail says it’s someone not talking directly to them, and probably being heard through the door of the book store.

          • SDGlyph
            SDGlyph
            June 20, 2016 at 2:57 am | #

            1) *possibly
            2) My kingdom for an “oh, someone else already said it, never mind” button

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 20, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

      I read her as joking about the gun. I mean, really, a gun to control the squirrels?

      … though it’s still pretty insensitive given what Becky and Joyce went through less than a week ago.

      • Shiro
        Shiro
        June 20, 2016 at 12:23 am | #

        …I want to live somewhere where that reads as a joke. /lives in the American South

        • Silamy
          Silamy
          June 20, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

          Tell me about it.
          >.<
          But the constitution can't be changed, and the second amendment guarantees the right to whatever kind of weaponry you want!

          See also: reasons why English and Government classes are important.

          • Ana Chronistic
            Ana Chronistic
            June 20, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

            Prohibition was repealed, tho

            just needs some votes

            • Ana Chronistic
              Ana Chronistic
              June 20, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

              (read: GET VOTIN’)

            • Reltzik
              Reltzik
              June 20, 2016 at 12:50 am | #

              Wasn’t that the ONLY AMENDMENT to get repealed by state convention and popular vote?

              I don’t think we’re getting the 2nd appealed that way.

              I think the best strategy is a public information war to advertise the dangers of gun ownership to the family. Forget the legislative front for a bit (because it’s not going anywhere with this gridlock) and target the demand-side. Start hurting the gun companies financially, get fewer people wanting to own guns, and some of the political opposition to gun control will evaporate. Maybe enough to free up some legislation.

              • duckgalrox
                duckgalrox
                June 20, 2016 at 12:34 pm | #

                Fewer people are owning guns; the problem now is that the people who want to own guns own many guns and they don’t want the guvmint making it harder for them to get more guns.

                I’m not against owning guns; I’ve certainly enjoyed my share of shooting fun. (On a range. With a trained instructor.) Also venison. I do think we need licenses – make sure everyone gets a license, which includes a background check, before they’re allowed to purchase a gun.

                And with Peruta v. San Diego being decided recently, this is allowed under the Second Amendment, which does NOT guarantee the right for private citizens to own guns as individuals! I don’t know why this decision isn’t getting more attention!

            • Silamy
              Silamy
              June 20, 2016 at 1:25 am | #

              I was going for a definition-eyeroll: “the second amendment is, by virtue of being an AMENDMENT (definition: a change or addition to a legal or statutory document) a change to the constitution”. Living in the American south most of the year, I hear a lot of people talking about the constitution, particularly that one bit of it, as if it were immutable and god-given, which… well, frankly, the reasoning I’ve heard most scares me. Best anti-gun argument I ever heard came from a gun seller who was trying to convince me (who was then slightly against but largely ambivalent about gun-related-everything, which is apparently an offensively anti-firearm stance in Alabama) why guns of any sort (he was particularly fond of automatic weapons) were inherently legal and necessary and people, especially good Christians, should have them.

              • Random832
                Random832
                June 20, 2016 at 11:36 am | #

                “I hear a lot of people talking about the constitution, particularly that one bit of it, as if it were immutable and god-given, which… well, frankly, the reasoning I’ve heard most scares me.”

                The thing is… the rest of the rights in the bill of rights are. No-one would disagree that freedom of speech or freedom of religion or protection from unlawful search and seizure, etc, is a basic human right and the constitution is simply doing the right thing by respecting it rather than being the source of it and that it would trivially go away if people decided to change it.

                The pro-gun people simply believe that the right to gun ownership has a co-equal status to the rest… and they’re probably at least right about how the founders conceptualized it, since recognizing “god-given” inalienable rights rather than creating novel ones, was what the bill of rights was in general all about.

                • Random832
                  Random832
                  June 20, 2016 at 11:41 am | #

                  You can agree or disagree on whether the founders were right about it or not, but they did put it next to stuff like freedom of speech, trial by jury, no cruel and unusual punishments, all of which are uncontroversially basic human rights. And the bill of rights is ten amendments, but it was written as a single document, and has the singular theme of recognizing things its authors regarded as inalienable rights. The inclusion of gun ownership alongside the others is not a mere coincidence. You can say they were wrong, but it’s disingenuous to say it’s not what they meant.

                • Misteline
                  Misteline
                  June 20, 2016 at 12:36 pm | #

                  I disagree that gun ownership as it is framed now was regarded as an inalienable right by the founders. (Tbh, its more than a little ridiculous to act like “the founders” were a cohesive united groups with uniform ideas and goals…but such is the way we speak.) The Second Amendment could easily be argued to limit gun ownership as a fundamental right as intended to protect the ability to take part in a larger and more organized community force against government oppression re: a militia. Its not a very individualized amendment. Arguably the founders may have found personal protection to be a similarly worthy cause, but they framed the right to bear arms afforded by the Second Amendment in terms of a militia and personal protection wasn’t really the concern of the day. The parties who put the amendment forward were worried about the dangers of allowing the central gov. to maintain a standing military. To be glib, the idea that every Tom, Dick, and Harry must be able to individually run around with potentially military grade weaponry regardless of training or background, was the result of Supreme Court interpretation. An interpretation that both the Court and the country has been struggling with ever since.

                • Silamy
                  Silamy
                  June 20, 2016 at 1:10 pm | #

                  The reasoning I’ve heard most is not “I want to hunt” or “I want to protect my family/property/business” or “I think guns are cool and want my collection to look impressive” but “if I want to put together a militia some day and march on Washington, no one has the right to stop me, especially not some lawmaker”. It’s people saying, in essence, “I want this killing tool to use on other humans”, and the people who say that are also often saying “these particular “types” of other humans aren’t supposed to exist”, and THAT is what scares me. When I hear an ardent speech in favor of automatic weapons from someone who says that, “peaceful coexistence [with other religions] is an attempt to subvert god’s will,” I don’t hear a patriot who values the law trying to uphold it, I hear a future tragedy in the making.

                  Context hasn’t really changed for the rest of the Bill of Rights. I mean, twenty dollars is a heck of a lot less now than it was then, but things like free speech, juries, warrants… the concepts haven’t changed too much, but weaponry is so much more absurdly advanced now than it was then -and the original document was written by a bunch of people fresh out of a war with the world’s most powerful navy that they had fought by use of a civilian militia. At that time, I can see firearms being essential. But… what need does anyone have for a fully automatic weapon in everyday civilian life? Someone with no military training or history?

              • Kryss LaBryn
                Kryss LaBryn
                June 20, 2016 at 12:51 pm | #

                How about, “If any American citizen can just up and buy guns under the Second Amendment, then that means that the PAGANS and HEATHENS and MUSLIMS can buy them, too! D: Also the abortionists and the gays.”

                Quick! Make it harder to get guns! We all know the people who should have them either already have them or would be able to still get their hands on them, anyways.

                Heh.

                Mind you, it’s a complicated issue involving the place of the gun in American culture as well as the accessibility of them. A lot of Canadians have guns as well, but they’re still mainly a tool for rural areas, and you don’t see a lot of urbanites with them, any more than a lot of city dwellers have chain saws and ATVs, and for similar reasons (those being because they don’t really have a use for them unless they’re going hunting/fishing/camping and/or some other reason for heading into the bush).

                Obama’s idea of not allowing people on the no-fly list to have guns is probably a good one, though, although I can’t see the NRA liking it one bit.

                It would help a HELL of a lot, too, though, if more gun owners were responsible about how they were stored, handled, and used.

          • Cholma
            Cholma
            June 20, 2016 at 12:49 am | #

            Actually, the Constitution *can* be changed. Hence the amendments. Prohibition was once part of the Constitution, before it got repealed. Congress just needs to pass the change, then a majority of States need to ratify it.

            As for Carol, I was thinking she meant a shotgun or some other type of rifle that can shoot birdseed. (at least, I think that’s what the non-lethal stuff is they use) It’ll sting, and maybe convince the squirrels to go elsewhere.

            • Reltzik
              Reltzik
              June 20, 2016 at 12:53 am | #

              It’s called birdshot, meaning, “shot for killing birds”. Contrast with buckshot (shot for killing bucks, ie deer), and bearshot, where you’re literally loaded for bear.

              Birdshot USUALLY won’t kill a person, but it will do more then sting. It will embed dozens of tiny little metal pellets up to an inch into your flesh. AND it will kill a squirrel.

              • Lumpy Frogsnuggler
                Lumpy Frogsnuggler
                June 20, 2016 at 9:45 am | #

                Actually at very close range (20 feet or less) all shotgun loads will act like a solid hunk of metal.

            • AutobotDen
              AutobotDen
              June 20, 2016 at 1:00 am | #

              Birdseed or rock salt. Either one stings like a mofo.

              • Cholma
                Cholma
                June 20, 2016 at 1:19 am | #

                Rock Salt! Yeah, that’s what I was thinking of! Thanks.

                • Arianod
                  Arianod
                  June 20, 2016 at 9:03 am | #

                  My cousin fires salt shot at stray cats and other pests getting into his property, and he says it *can* be fatal, depending on the distance and the chance of wounds getting infected. If it can kill cats, I wouldn’t bet on squirrels…

              • Cybersnark
                Cybersnark
                June 20, 2016 at 11:02 am | #

                Rock salt especially, if you’re a ghost.

            • Freemage
              Freemage
              June 20, 2016 at 1:09 am | #

              I think you’re giving Carol too much credit. She’s totally the type to buy into the notion that in order for Hank to ‘man up’, he’ll need to get a gun.

            • Doofenshmirtz
              Doofenshmirtz
              June 20, 2016 at 7:24 am | #

              I believe the op was being sarcastic.

          • Idontcarenomore
            Idontcarenomore
            June 20, 2016 at 12:57 am | #

            No the second amendment does not give us the right to ‘whatever’ weapons we want. Keep in mind that when it was written, the right to bear arms would’ve covered front loading muskets, mounted rifle sabers and knives. All of which killed people one at a time. (talking about self weapons here, not cannons).

            Show me why an individual civilian needs a machine gun to kill a deer and maybe I could listen to NRA argument why civilians need them.
            A 45 is more than enough for self defense. A shotgun or rifle(not a Kalnicknakoff or however it’s spelled).

            In all honesty, if we are under attack, a machine gun isn’t going to do much against missels anyway.

            I just do not understand how a room full of dead first graders, slaughtered by one man with his rightful weapon of defense, so fast that no one could stop him – did not result in the immediate refusal of sales of automatic weapons of all kinds to anyone, period. No augument.

            Maybe if it had, we wouldn’t have a Night Club full of innocent people dead in he club in Orlando.

            • Idontcarenomore
              Idontcarenomore
              June 20, 2016 at 1:01 am | #

              Adding an amendment to the Constitution limiting the sale of automatic weapons of any kind, along with bullet proof vests and the rest of the military gear to civilians would Not prevent us from arming ourselves.
              Just from being walking one man death squads.

              • Lumpy Frogsnuggler
                Lumpy Frogsnuggler
                June 20, 2016 at 9:55 am | #

                The 1986 National Firearms Act already forbids the building of full-auto weapons for sale civilians. Sales of full-auto weapons made and registered before 1986 are legal on some states, but very, VERY highly regulated (to the point that last year there were ZERO crimes committed with legally owned full-auto weapons, because registration and background checks work).

                I fail to see how making ballistic armor (they aren’t really completely bullet proof) which is designed to protect people from firearms, would make us safer.

            • Freemage
              Freemage
              June 20, 2016 at 1:23 am | #

              I want to note that I do not agree with the following. But if you’re going to talk gun control, this is the argument you need to ultimately address:

              All the talk about hunting, home defense and even defending against invaders or terrorists is so much smoke-screen. The hardcore gun-nuts believe that the Second Amendment exists so that the people could theoretically rise up against a tyrannical government.

              Some believe that such an uprising could actually succeed in overthrowing the government, but the more realistic ones believe (based on world history) that the real objective would be to make the country ungovernable. It doesn’t matter to them that guns can’t beat missiles, because that’s not what is supposed to happen. Rather, sporadic violence is supposed to be used to prevent the government from ever being able to feel like it can succeed at continuing to oppress the populace.

              BTW, these people are also technically wrong about what the second amendment is for. Google “2nd Amendment Slave Militias” and you’ll see the real (and very disturbing) origins of the ‘militias’ that were actually being discussed.

              • Chris Phoenix
                Chris Phoenix
                June 20, 2016 at 4:44 am | #

                http://www.theroot.com/articles/politics/2013/01/second_amendment_slave_control_not_the_aim/

                • Chris Phoenix
                  Chris Phoenix
                  June 20, 2016 at 4:46 am | #

                  OK, that didn’t wrap like I thought it would. The link above is an article written by an author of books on slavery, arguing that the 2nd amendment had nothing to do with slave militias, and that the original argument that it did was wrong on several fundamental points of history.

                • Strangeshapes
                  Strangeshapes
                  June 20, 2016 at 10:54 pm | #

                  Your avatar makes this comment better.

              • Clif
                Clif
                June 20, 2016 at 5:02 pm | #

                The original amendments all had the purpose of limiting government. The right to bear arms is no exception. The intent was not to enable people to rise up against the government; that’s what votes were for. Rather the intent was that agents of the government would step lightly. The rationale about militias was the smoke screen to get it adopted. Oddly there has never been a tyranny with armed citizens. None of which prevents reasonable regulation of firearms. Differences of opinion in how much regulation is reasonable doesn’t make the other guy evil.

            • -hh
              -hh
              June 20, 2016 at 6:51 am | #

              FYI, some friendly advice on the gun control issue … please don’t refer to magazine-fed semi-automatics as “machine guns”.

              The reason is because this terminology is inaccurate, which will then be used as an excuse to be a pendant … and derail the conversation away from its intended point.

              For example, true automatics have been banned since the 1930’s … as such, to stay on point, the conversation needs to be that Sandy Hook, Orland, Aurora (& others) were all perpetrated with a “mere” magazine fed semi-auto. Unfortunately, this is an example where one needs to be accurate in order to preempt a lame defense…

              …and this all strongly parallels the storyline and what Becky’s about to be hit with.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          June 20, 2016 at 12:46 am | #

          Please. Everyone knows that you control ground squirrels by releasing predators like rattlesnakes. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

          • Orion Fury
            Orion Fury
            June 20, 2016 at 12:50 am | #

            So what do we release to control the rattlesnakes?

            • Opus the Poet
              Opus the Poet
              June 20, 2016 at 1:07 am | #

              Mongooses.

              • DarkVeghetta
                DarkVeghetta
                June 20, 2016 at 3:29 am | #

                Mongooses? Naaah. Obviously you’d have to release trained gorillas!

          • Big Box
            Big Box
            June 20, 2016 at 12:58 am | #

            *several extrapolations later*

            “No, that’s the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.”

            • Reltzik
              Reltzik
              June 20, 2016 at 1:01 am | #

              “Yes, BUT HOW DO WE CONTROL WINTER?”

              “Carbon emissions.”

            • Cholma
              Cholma
              June 20, 2016 at 1:45 am | #

              This reminded me of the book, “World War Z” where the zombies froze in the Winter, giving those of us in the Northern climes a respite from terror until the Spring thaw came about.

              (I’m not usually into horror, but DAMN, that’s a scary good book. I like that it’s written as a historical documentary instead of a “this is happening now” thing)

              • Julez
                Julez
                June 20, 2016 at 8:31 am | #

                That is one of my favorite books. I am highly disappointed in the movie by the same name that wasted the source material. There was so much potential for a GOOD movie there.

                • PomperaFirpa
                  PomperaFirpa
                  June 20, 2016 at 9:38 am | #

                  I’m still pretty sure that WWZ needs to be a mini-series directed by Ken Burns.

                  That said, the audiobook (sadly, abridged) was awesome. We listened to it on an all-night car trip once and kept waking up my brother-in-law yelling “WAIT, IS THAT–?” “YES IT IS, THAT IS HIS VOICE”.

              • Spaz
                Spaz
                June 20, 2016 at 5:19 pm | #

                You want a good zombie(-ish) story? Try We’re Alive: A Story of Survival.

                The creatures in We’re Alive aren’t “technically” zombies because they’re actually alive. But the thing is: They’re intelligent. Well, some of them.

                It’s a show that goes from “zombie” apocalypse to bad to worse to, well…..

                It’s got all kinds of zombies, too, from regular zombies, fast zombies, Jumpers, smart ones, something that’s essentially a L4D Tank…….and then the bad zombies come out.

                And if that’s bad enough, they have to deal with other survivors.

                No spoilers but……Scratch is one of the stand-out villains in recent fiction for me.

                Season 1 was inspired by a bunch of vets that spotted a tower apartment building in Iraq, and started joking between themselves that it would be the perfect zombie apocalypse defensive point.

                Cannot recommend We’re Alive more. Audio Drama with amazing production quality.

                http://www.werealive.com/

        • Anywhere
          Anywhere
          June 20, 2016 at 2:29 am | #

          True, no joke. You can imagine that she says “I keep telling him he need a gun.” as casually as she might say “I keep telling him he needs a new lawnmower.”

          Given the recent storylines, my brain screamed for 5 minutes when I read that, before I could finish the rest of the comic. It uh didn’t get better.

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        June 20, 2016 at 12:24 am | #

        Why would she care about the gays’ feelings??

        • Neeks
          Neeks
          June 20, 2016 at 2:15 am | #

          Oh, they don’t have FEELINGS, FEELINGS are for PEOPLE, you know.

          • Neeks
            Neeks
            June 20, 2016 at 2:16 am | #

            (Just in case it needs clarification, that was sarcasm.)

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        June 20, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

        Oh, very insensitive, but then, Carol’s more than shown how little she actually regards what happened to Joyce and Becky beyond it serving as the backdrop for the epic play: World’s Greatest Christian Mom Saves Her Daughter’s Soul.

        • pyrpyr
          pyrpyr
          June 20, 2016 at 2:41 am | #

          What is it about parents (fictional and real-life) whose children but serve as pawns in their own life dreams?

          • DarkVeghetta
            DarkVeghetta
            June 20, 2016 at 3:35 am | #

            Usually happens due to their initial dreams being killed off by lack of aptitude/circumstances. Then they manufacture new ones based on their children. It’s a sad coping mechanism that artificially raises the value of sed children in some parent’s eyes, therefor making them more dedicated (yet in a selfish way) parents.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              June 20, 2016 at 7:16 am | #

              Or quite often I suspect by their initial dreams being killed off by being used as pawns in their own parent’s life dreams.

              And so on …

          • Spaz
            Spaz
            June 20, 2016 at 5:24 pm | #

            Am I the only one that read that as “serve as prawns in their own life dreams?”

        • Falcon
          Falcon
          June 20, 2016 at 3:48 pm | #

          Carol is right beside Hank. The voices are coming from behind the door. I think those are simply other churchgoers.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        June 20, 2016 at 2:08 am | #

        Are ground squirrels good eating like tree rats? Because I used to love me a big pot of squirrel dumplings.

        • DarkVeghetta
          DarkVeghetta
          June 20, 2016 at 3:35 am | #

          Not sure if joke or real. Clarification please?

          • DSL
            DSL
            June 20, 2016 at 7:23 am | #

            Some folks find squirrel a congenial comestible.

            • Inspector Hound
              Inspector Hound
              June 20, 2016 at 11:35 am | #

              Indeed, I have a recipe book (hmm, an possibly a second one too) that has a squirrel recipe.

              It may have declined with the rise of suburbia (viewing squirrels as “cute” and all), but squirrel hunting was thing that was common in the fall when the tree nuts were plentiful.

              • Austyn
                Austyn
                June 20, 2016 at 2:10 pm | #

                Viewing squirrels as cute is a terrifying concept to someone who grew up in a rural area where they break into your sheds and destroy all of your belongings. Also, my university has campus squirrels that will literally walk over your feet and it’s nervewracking considering that at home, any time a squirrel didn’t run away sufficiently quickly was shot for potential rabies.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        June 20, 2016 at 2:10 am | #

        It’s probably kinder than trapping them, though I don’t see why squirrels are an issue. It’s not like they have livestock whose feed the squirrels can poach.

        • Raza
          Raza
          June 20, 2016 at 5:18 am | #

          Birds. Folks who’s kids leave home who also happen to live in a suburb tend to do things like birdwatching, with lots of bird feeders. Squirrels eat the birdfeed all at once.
          This also seems to be a Midwestern Christian Old people activity. My grandparents fit that category and they an their friends do it, and have all kinds of crazy doohickeys to keep the squirrels out. Google squirrel slinky.

          • QPK
            QPK
            June 20, 2016 at 10:08 am | #

            My parents have a plank birdfeeder on a deck right outside their back door, which tends to attract a lot of squirrels. My dad’s friends frequently recommend guns to him, but he doesn’t like the idea of killing off said squirrels. They have dogs that will chase them now but for a while when we were kids, we had some creative rodent control measures going.

            The first and less visually entertaining is to use a slingshot to fire chunks of baby carrot at them. I think my dad might have actually made contact once, but overall they were misses. I haven’t bothered to tell my dad that the squirrels at the wildlife rehab center I volunteered at were fed carrots regularly. I’m sure 99% those carrots got eaten a few minutes later.

            The other method required more forethought: an empty can placed upside down over a small firecracker hooked up to a model rocket starter, with the trigger button inside the kitchen by the window. The can shielded the squirrels so they didn’t get badly hurt (maybe a little bruised or singed, but nothing long term or life threatening). Watching a squirrel ride an empty cat food can off the deck at high velocity was hugely entertaining as a 9 year old.

        • DSL
          DSL
          June 20, 2016 at 5:45 am | #

          Squirrels and similar critters can burrow. Ranchers hate that because a steer can bust a leg stepping into a burrow, and a chipmunk burrow can do damage to an older house’s foundation. Where I live, a .22 rifle is preferred for killin’ squirrel-sized critters, though a plinker pistol can do the job in skilled-enough hands. And yes, squirrels are determined, inventive critters who laugh at most anti-squirrel devices on bird feeders — to the point that my mother has given up on all but her hummingbird feeders.

          • Kryss LaBryn
            Kryss LaBryn
            June 20, 2016 at 12:58 pm | #

            Have her try mixing cayenne pepper (powdered) in with her bird seed. It won’t bother the birds, because their mouths are dry so it doesn’t burn, the same as it doesn’t burn your hands. But mammalian mouths are wet, and so it deters squirrels, mice, and other varmints from eating your bird seed. Or your chicken feed.

            Hell, one place I was in, mice were getting into the cupboard under my bathroom sink and chewing on my glycerine soaps, so I blocked it with just a few layers of paper towels dipped in plaster of Paris; but I mixed cayenne pepper in with the plaster. They scratched at it (I could hear them); but it tasted too bad for them to chew through.

        • Austyn
          Austyn
          June 20, 2016 at 2:13 pm | #

          As I mentioned in my above comment, squirrels can get into your outdoor buildings (via burrowing and chewing through wood) and ruin your belongings with poop, scratching, and chewing.

      • Betty Anne
        Betty Anne
        June 20, 2016 at 2:34 pm | #

        I take it you don’t live in rural Wisconsin. Half the .22s in this state are referred to as “squirrel guns” by their owners (as well as various pellet guns, bb guns, and other small caliber bullshit that idiots think are a great “solution” to pest control). XP

      • Huttj509
        Huttj509
        June 20, 2016 at 8:36 pm | #

        Quite reasonable depending on area. My parents have a shotgun to shoot the prairie rats that keep burrowing around digging up everything. Vermin control hasn’t been successful because one of the nearby houses is rented, and the owner won’t take steps, so they just repopulate there and spread out again.

        They’re not the only family in the area with guns for that purpose (and shot specifically chosen to take out the critters, but be less dangerous in case of a badly placed rock or really badly chosen backstop).

  8. Fish
    Fish
    June 20, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    do it Hank. Tell them where they can shove it.

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      June 20, 2016 at 2:12 am | #

      I don’t think he will. Yet. But this is fuel on the fire, so when things come to a head, I think Becky can count on the righteous fury of two Browns backing her.

      • FirePrincessLily
        FirePrincessLily
        June 20, 2016 at 11:10 am | #

        Three browns! Jocelyn is also backing her all the way.

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          June 20, 2016 at 2:28 pm | #

          I think Jocelyn has too much on the line to go nuclear, though.

          • duckgalrox
            duckgalrox
            June 21, 2016 at 12:01 am | #

            If Daddy Brown’s gone nuclear, I can’t imagine Jocelyn would be too far behind coming out.

  9. Anvilpro
    Anvilpro
    June 20, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

    Hank’s getting pumped, he’s gonna kick some ass.

  10. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    June 20, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Hank’s about to take a page out if Sarah’s book. The Old Testament God one.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 20, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

      SONG OF SOLOMON!

      …

      What? That’s Old Testament.

      • 3-I
        3-I
        June 20, 2016 at 12:50 am | #

        So are Ruth and Naomi, which I can only hope is gonna come up.

        • Rukduk
          Rukduk
          June 20, 2016 at 2:41 am | #

          That…is a perspective I had not considered before. Interesting note, Jesus was supposedly descended from Ruth, what with her being David’s (I want to say but don’t actually remember) grandmother.

          • Emma
            Emma
            June 20, 2016 at 6:54 am | #

            Yeah, I’d never heard about their relationship in that context as well (as opposed to other relationships in the Bible, the natures of which have been discussed, like David and Jonathan, etc.) until recently. Turns out there’s a bit of debate about the translations and the use of wording for Ruth’s promise and dedication to Naomi as having the same wording as the commitment between a married couple (perhaps related to the passages abt a man leaving his family and old life, etc?). It’s funny, really, growing up the sermons involving them focused a lot more on her commitment to Naomi being about God and converting, but I like learning about the whole-hearted commitment between the two women. It’s something my church didn’t focus on as much. Y’know, them as… Well, people :/

            • duckgalrox
              duckgalrox
              June 21, 2016 at 12:02 am | #

              That passage from Ruth was read at a Catholic wedding I attended recently. I was entertained.

          • Gigafreak
            Gigafreak
            June 20, 2016 at 10:13 am | #

            For a moment I thought we were talking about Ruth Lessick and Naomi Siegal (Ethan’s mother). I was very, very confused.

            • Eukie
              Eukie
              June 20, 2016 at 12:16 pm | #

              Well, damn, a new ship is born.

  11. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    June 20, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    I think Hank is about to do something he’ll regret and something we’ll approve of.
    Quite wholeheartedly.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      June 20, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

      He’s already well ahead of Hank Pym in the Hank-Off, and edging out Hank Hill. If he stands up for Becky, he’ll be gaining on Hank Venture.

      • JustCheetoDust
        JustCheetoDust
        June 20, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

        He’s probably more deserving of Steve McQueen’s jacket from Le Mans than Venture is, anyways.

        • Mr. Random
          Mr. Random
          June 20, 2016 at 3:19 am | #

          To be fair, he was getting away from buying new clothes, and it was nice tosee him value used clothes.

  12. Kris
    Kris
    June 20, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Am I missing something with this hair thing? How is HAIR f**king HAIR a big deal?!

    • Shiro
      Shiro
      June 20, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

      “She’s…she’s lesbianning her hair! In our faces!”

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        June 20, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

        Correct response: “Lady, after what God did to your face, this is nothing.”

      • AlexDenton
        AlexDenton
        June 20, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

        Reminds me of the first time someone describes Carol Danvers’ makeover as Captain Marvel “She has lesbian hair now!”. I was like “WTF is lesbian hair?”. But apparently it’s a thing XD

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          June 20, 2016 at 2:15 am | #

          I tend to hear it referred to as ‘tumblr hair.’ Because of course everyone on tumblr is a SJW fool.
          Sweet lightning, I love Willis’ word filters.

        • duckgalrox
          duckgalrox
          June 21, 2016 at 12:04 am | #

          I had a theater teacher who said there was no better way to communicate a female’s sexual orientation than with her hair. Long hair: straight, short hair: lesbian.

          Of course bisexuals don’t exist.

    • Chonos
      Chonos
      June 20, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

      When you don’t like someone’s lifestyle you’ll find anything wrong with it to zero in on and make a big deal. This goes for all sides of that coin too.

    • Wheelpath
      Wheelpath
      June 20, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

      That’s my fetish

    • nobodybasically
      nobodybasically
      June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

      Hair-on-hair fucking is also something the church disapproves of.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        June 20, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

        Is that why they disapproved of Avatar?

        • AlexDenton
          AlexDenton
          June 20, 2016 at 12:36 am | #

          XD Good one

    • Lord Stoneheart
      Lord Stoneheart
      June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

      That’s what I was thinking when people here were complaining about it.

    • Siddlaw
      Siddlaw
      June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

      The hair isn’t a traditional style. Like think of certain places of work where you have to maintain a certain hairstyle. Where I’m working we were told that we can’t dye our hair in crazy colors.

    • Nick Piers
      Nick Piers
      June 20, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

      Don’t you know that non-conforming hairstyles are a gateway to homsexuality, drug use, breaking out into Tom Cochrane songs, and a sudden perchance for parchesi!?

      • Kris
        Kris
        June 20, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

        That’s what I don’t understand though. To me hair is one of the most superfluous parts of the human body and the most easily customized! There’s literally no value in judging someone based on thier hair because it could be completely different the next day, hour, fuck even minute. Unless your bald in which case…….sorry?

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          June 20, 2016 at 12:23 am | #

          Bald makes it even easier to apply wigs.

        • AgentKeen
          AgentKeen
          June 20, 2016 at 12:50 am | #

          Ah, to live in that kind of world.

        • 3-I
          3-I
          June 20, 2016 at 12:52 am | #

          But, see, it’s about control. It’s about defining Becky’s virtuosity by her availability to men.

          By choosing to look how she wants, she’s openly defying that.

        • Freemage
          Freemage
          June 20, 2016 at 1:29 am | #

          The Bible actually has pretty strict rules on hair styles for women. The idea is that they are supposed to be ‘modest’. Furthermore, people are somewhat ret-conning their own awareness of her situation. She’s a known lesbian, so ANYTHING that isn’t picture-perfect cookie-cutter Good Christian Handmaiden is immediately assumed to be her way of ‘flaunting’ her sexuality in their faces. The idea that this is simply her attempt exploring her own feelings about herself will never even occur to them, because women aren’t expected to HAVE feelings about themselves–that’s what men are for.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 20, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

        NOT PARCHESI!

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        June 20, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

        Oh, I know.

      • DarkVeghetta
        DarkVeghetta
        June 20, 2016 at 3:55 am | #

        WHAT IN THE… ok, SO: I had to google the term because I’ve never heard it before, BUT I KNOW THAT GAME! I’ve played it when I was little, mostly everyone in Romania knows it, but it’s called “Nu te supara, frate!” over here, which translates to ‘Don’t get mad, brother!’. Seems someone nicked it from India last century (my best bet is communists, but it could be older then that and I’m simply unaware of it). At least that’s what I’m inferring, because the two boards look almost identical. It could have different rules, but… I’m kind of shocked, honestly.
        The things you learn in a comment section.

        • Inspector Hound
          Inspector Hound
          June 20, 2016 at 11:46 am | #

          Parcheesi probably had multiple entries to Europe, but I suspect the British Raj was the most recent pathway. “Parcheesi” itself is a commercial version of Pachisi, and in the U.S. and Canada I suspect the most common variant is the game Sorry! (exclamation point part of the name).

          I played Sorry! obsessively as a child, and was bemused/pleased to see it appear in some bars and cafes next to the cribbage boards.

          • Lyssie
            Lyssie
            June 20, 2016 at 3:04 pm | #

            Sorry! was one of my favorite things to do as a kid. My mom and I still break it out sometimes.

      • Arianod
        Arianod
        June 20, 2016 at 9:11 am | #

        *Gasp* Not parchesi!!!

    • Lapin
      Lapin
      June 20, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      In this sort of sect of Christianity, Becky’s hairstyle is genuinely seen as loudly defiant of the godly/modest way a woman should present herself, especially in the church itself. When I was briefly forced into this brand of god (my mom went all Born-again for a minute), I had blue hair. Mind you, I was twelve at this time. The other parents in the church forbid their children from being friends with me or speaking to me beyond necessary. Made youth group particularly trying on my self-esteem.

      Then we moved and she got bored with god. Thank you, Army.

    • Aletheia
      Aletheia
      June 20, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      A lot of denominations have certain viewpoints about hair, like women’s hair needs to be long because it’s a sign of humility or chastity or her (subservient) place in the home or something like that (because of something in the Bible, of course), while guys are expected to have clean-cut, short hair. Becky cutting her hair to a stereotypical guy-length goes against all of that (rightfullysobecausefuckthatnoise).

      • Peter
        Peter
        June 20, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

        There’s a whole lot of nonsense about women’s hair in 1 Corinthians 11.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        June 20, 2016 at 2:32 am | #

        You’d think Samson would make a serious precedent for long-haired dudes.

        • DonDueed
          DonDueed
          June 20, 2016 at 5:51 am | #

          Not to mention the fact that Jesus himself is almost always depicted with long hair.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            June 20, 2016 at 7:20 am | #

            My hair like Jesus wore it
            Hallelujah I adore it
            Hallelujah Mary loved her son,
            Why don’t my mother love me?

      • Emma
        Emma
        June 20, 2016 at 6:58 am | #

        My mother has this friend whose son grew his hair long and while it… Did not look good, none of us had any problem with it? Until she (the mother) came to my mother saying that she was upset because “people would judge her” about… His hair? And my mom was like “who cares, also, you have short hair so you don’t really have a leg to stand on if you’re going to try to theologically debate him into cutting his hair?” Yeah I’m… Not a fan of that woman.

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      June 20, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      I figure that the congregation figures that the new hairdo and Becky’s newfound sexuality are connected. They take it as a message, a constant reminder and I’m sure Becky meant it as such.

      • Stu
        Stu
        June 20, 2016 at 2:00 am | #

        Yeah, she definitely meant it as such. As Ethan said, “She didn’t just leave it. Becky nuked the closet from orbit, just to be sure.”
        Also, consider how badly Joyce reacted to the haircut initially – Joyce’s mindset (used to be) a litmus test for just how poorly something would be received in her church.

    • bryy
      bryy
      June 20, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

      Joyce’s parents belong to a sect of Christianity that is all about men owning women and women being servants to men. At least that’s what I get.

      The hair is a symbol of Becky making her own choices.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      June 20, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

      It’s a style associated with lesbians. (I mean, non-lesbians can wear undercuts, but it’s pretty good advertising that she’s into ladies.)

      It’s also connected with a rejection of ‘proper feminine’ roles, including showing men that she actively doesn’t care whether they find her beautiful or not.

      But mostly, they can’t handle the reality of seeing her being herself.

      • Slartibeast Button, BIA
        Slartibeast Button, BIA
        June 20, 2016 at 7:26 pm | #

        So is she’d got a haircut because her boyfriend* liked it, that would be OK?

        * If she had one, which she doesn’t and won’t.

        • Leorale
          Leorale
          June 22, 2016 at 1:31 am | #

          So, “no, I’m not a lesbian, my boyfriend really likes this look”? If it wasn’t Becky at all, I imagine it might be a good deflection, as they might then question why the boyfriend is some kind of weirdo, instead, with tastes that aren’t 100% God-approved…? I dunno, this is beyond my experience.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      June 20, 2016 at 1:01 am | #

      Hair is the first battleground. It’s a powerful tool for self-expression, so when a group does not want that self-expression they censor it. Hair is the fight that so many groups have to war over to be themselves. It’s the war over black hair that deems “white” hair styles “more professional”, it’s the first battleground of the newly out queer person or trans person, how they can signal their gender identity or they’re attractions, it’s the tool of colonialism to try and wipe out a tribe’s hair styles and customs.

      Hair is the battleground and to this church, hair is what they’ve used to control Becky for so long, to tell her no, this is what you are, this is what you will become. This is your fate. And when she decided to get a haircut that was modern and rad and more associated with queer people than not. That was her revolution.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 20, 2016 at 1:11 am | #

        Once when I was going to a UU church (liberal religion, not like this one) I had an elderly women ask me what was up with my generation dying their hair weird colors, how could they mess with their bodies like that? (I had a pretty normal hairstyle at the time.) I read it not as a criticism but an honest question by someone who was genuinely confused. I saw she had a pierced ears and explained it was just another way to customize appearance and express yourself, like piercing your ears so you could wear jewelry, only less painful or permanent.

        She… got it…. and clearly didn’t get it. It’s like she’d filed one act in one category and another in another, and I’d successfully torn down the wall between the two categories, but that just left her more confused.

        That was at one of the most liberal churches you’ll ever find.

        It’s not really about Christian doctrine. To the best of my knowledge, the only Christian doctrines about hair are to not cut it or shave (Leviticus) and that you aren’t honorable if you don’t shave (some flavor of Paul), with those applying either equally to men and women or moreso to men.

        No, what this is really about is that people have unrealistic Expectations about what the world around them is like, and when those Expectations get violated, some personalities get prissy, defensive, belligerent, and hostile. And “privileged and conservative” seems to make people much, much more likely to be that kind of personality.

      • ischemgeek
        ischemgeek
        June 20, 2016 at 6:43 am | #

        Yeah, this.

        Trufax: When I was a kid, I was not allowed to have my hair shorter than mid-back length (and usually it was longer).

        There’s a big reason I shaved my head at thirteen. Probably the same reason Becky “accidentally” got hot glue in her hair.

    • Idontcarenomore
      Idontcarenomore
      June 20, 2016 at 1:04 am | #

      Hair styles have always been a big deal. In the 60’s men wearing long hair had the crap beat out of them if caught by the self righteous. Boys with long hair were suspended from school, and suspension meant just that.

      Girls didn’t have that sort of problem then: but dye your hair blue or put a strip in it, and find out how fast you got sent home.

      Look up the song from Hair. It was real. 🙂

      • DarkVeghetta
        DarkVeghetta
        June 20, 2016 at 4:16 am | #

        60’s? Hah. I’ve had to deal with it throughout the 2000s!
        You see, I’ve had my hair in spikes for nearly the entirety of high school. Came with trying to be less shy and focusing more on my extroverted side (turns out I’m an ambivert).
        However, I’ve had several jabs and even threats from teachers, some going as far as threatening to lower my ‘Behavior’ grade for it (Note: In the Romanian system at the time, if that grade got lower then a 5 on a 10-scale, you got to repeat the entire year!). I’ve successfully rebutted all of them, but it was a struggle at times. It’s still a very real issue people have to live/deal with in certain places/countries.
        For the record, the formerly ‘normal’ aggression towards radically different hair styles seems to have dissipated from the vast majority of Romania, but since this part of the story is being played out in rural America… yeah, I’m not at all surprised.

      • A loiterer
        A loiterer
        June 20, 2016 at 6:18 am | #

        And in 60s “long hair” was Beatles’ style. Like <a href="http://media.vogue.com/r/w_1260//wp-content/uploads/2014/10/09/01-1964-the-beatles-hair.jpg&quot; you can't see all their ears hair. Those rebels.

        • A loiterer
          A loiterer
          June 20, 2016 at 6:20 am | #

          Of course http://media.vogue.com/r/w_1260//wp-content/uploads/2014/10/09/01-1964-the-beatles-hair.jpg was the URL I was going for.

    • trlkly
      trlkly
      June 20, 2016 at 5:08 am | #

      All I can come up with is that they know she’s a lesbian, so it stands out to them. Otherwise, I agree. I’ve known plenty of women with short hair. My mom has had it as long as I’ve been alive. My sister had a similar buzz-the-sides haircut at one point. Never once saw anyone freak out about it. Maybe some old people saying stuff about “kids these days,” but nothing more.

      It’s different, so it stands out. This does not seem to be a church where cutting your hair is a sin. (My mom was ostracized from some Pentecostals when she first cut her hair.)

      In other words, it’s an excuse.

    • Michael
      Michael
      June 20, 2016 at 5:16 am | #

      When my wife (who had long red hair to her waist when we first started dating) cut her hair to shorter than mine, my family made all sorts of passive aggressive comments and questions about it. :-/

    • George Wiman
      George Wiman
      June 20, 2016 at 7:54 am | #

      1 Corinthians 11:15 “But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.”

      Because women are just supposed to be ashamed. Of being.

      • Anonononon
        Anonononon
        June 20, 2016 at 12:32 pm | #

        Actually when it was written it was actually meant to be progressive as the Jewish people at the time required married women to cut their hair. Actually it’s really interesting how each Abrahamic religious text is actually more progressive than the last. The Quran actually allows women to own and inherit property (even if it is less than men it’s still more than before). I sometimes wonder why there hasn’t been a newer more progressive revelation since but I guess whatever higher power exists got fed up with the followers fucking things up and just said “Screw it” and now we are on our own figuring things out.

    • Betty Anne
      Betty Anne
      June 20, 2016 at 2:38 pm | #

      To quote my mom (who is atheist, ironically enough): “That hairstyle makes her look like a dyke!” (Said about every woman she ever saw with hair cut above the bottom of their ears anywhere on their head. XP)

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        June 20, 2016 at 8:31 pm | #

        Even their bangs? Strict!

        • Betty Anne
          Betty Anne
          June 20, 2016 at 8:57 pm | #

          I shit you not, I was a senior in high school before I had bangs that didn’t touch the bottom of my nose when they weren’t pulled back or curled, and that was only because a salon fucked up my perm that badly that year. ^^; Otherwise, they were cut shorter than the rest of my hair fairly often, but because I had wavy hair, they were only short because of the curls. Wet and flat, they were all over my face. XP

          For the record, I’m rocking a buzz cut now. 😀 My cut previous to this was the same as Becky’s, because as soon as I saw Becky’s undercut I was like, “That’s so fuckin’ rad, I’m doing that one next!” 😀 I can’t remember the last time I had a “traditionally feminine” haircut. ^^; Probably college some time.

          FWIW, I’m now 36, and my mom still doesn’t like the buzz cuts or undercuts on women, but she’s “chilled” enough that she tolerates pixie cuts and doesn’t say anything to me about my hair. XP

  13. Io
    Io
    June 20, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    😀 Yeah tell them off Hank!

  14. Safgaftsa
    Safgaftsa
    June 20, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Make the eyebrow in panel one a gravatar.

  15. Mandy
    Mandy
    June 20, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    How fucking good is your life that the thing that’s bothering you most today is someone else’s HAIRCUT. Fucking christ.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 20, 2016 at 12:25 am | #

      Actually, I’d say that if you keep getting pissed off by all those tiny details your life probably sucks ass.

      • Yarrr
        Yarrr
        June 20, 2016 at 5:16 am | #

        Word.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      June 20, 2016 at 1:01 am | #

      Heh, I’m reminded of all the assholes who swarmed over Becky for months ranting about her haircut and how much it bothered them.

      • jimmy james
        jimmy james
        June 20, 2016 at 1:35 am | #

        i don’t understand how anyone could be bothered by that. I don’t even like that kind of hairstyle but like… who gives a shit. Not everyone has to be modeled after your exact ideal of beauty

      • PomperaFirpa
        PomperaFirpa
        June 20, 2016 at 10:08 am | #

        I was actually just thinking about that! “WHY DID SHE SPEND THAT MONEY ON A HAIRCUT INSTEAD OF GIVING IT TO THE POOR USING IT TO NOT BE SUCH A LEECH ON JOYCE!” Well, folks, THIS IS WHY. Because having her hair the way she had it before was a really, really big deal in the church she grew up in, so cutting her hair had enormous symbolic connotations and she wanted every. single. one of them. She threw off that veil and burned it.

        I think Joyce’s reaction of “too much Becky” is a lot more meaningful in retrospect, because in this church it looks like being too much of yourself (including RIGHTEOUS ANGER mode Joyce) is not recommended for women. It’s how Joyce and Becky (and Jocelyne!) grew up. And honestly, if Carol has internalized this stuff in order to be the Biblical Womanhood Enforcer, no wonder she’s such a mean, bitter pain in the ass.

        • zoelogical
          zoelogical
          June 20, 2016 at 1:57 pm | #

          hahahaah this is exactly it though

          when you proscribe to gender roles in this way it makes you completely, utterly miserable. having to shut up and mind your ps and qs and never have your own opinion and dance around men instead of owning yourself and having boundaries – you are constantly reminded that you are seen as less. that you’re not complete without a man.

          internalized misogyny is a real bongo drum.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          June 20, 2016 at 4:26 pm | #

          Yup, all of this.

          I’m reminded a lot of this comic:
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/passage/

          And the one a few days after called KD. Not only for how much foulness Joyce has internalized with regards to her own worth and value, but also because of how stunned she was at the notion of actually choosing her own path, having value outside what utility she could provide for a future man.

          Like that was literally not something she processed in any way, because of how much women in her society are expected to be Mrs. X rather than their own name, their own self.

          Becky reclaiming Becky was a hugely important act and a huge rebellion. It’s why Joyce reacted in shock to the notion of her being “so much Becky”. Because if Becky can be so much Becky, if Dorothy believes that Joyce can be so much Joyce… then maybe she could hope for her own life and in her mind even considering that notion is a sin against God.

          It’s also why I think Joyce’s arc will end with her breaking away fully from the Church. Becky made peace with the notion that God and the church in her eyes are not even remotely the same, but to Joyce, she has no means of separating the two and so as she sees more and more of the awfulness of her church, so she is in the notion of God she was raised to believe in.

          • GenericGuestName
            GenericGuestName
            June 20, 2016 at 8:44 pm | #

            Honestly i’m hoping that eventually Willis will include a character who is religious WITHOUT being a total asshat. Which I mean, unlikely, but we do exist. They could maybe show her that there’s a middle ground where you can have faith but still be a good person.

            • David M Willis
              David M Willis
              June 20, 2016 at 8:47 pm | #

              maybe i’ll even make them the main character and their best friend

              • Emperor Norton II
                Emperor Norton II
                June 21, 2016 at 2:29 am | #

                This excellent comeback would be funnier if it hadn’t been at least the tenth time I’ve seen the initial attack happen in this comment field. And I was not really reading the comment field that much during the Toedad storyline, for example.

                And sure, there are Christians who are religious people without being asshats. Both in this comic, and also in the real world. But if I were you, GenericGuestName, I would not be so quick to include myself in that category.

              • GenericGuestName
                GenericGuestName
                June 21, 2016 at 10:35 pm | #

                I didn’t mean that in a “i’m so angry he makes fun of christians!” way. I just mean it’s what i’m hoping for personally. I don’t really see Becky in that light. I got the impression she wasn’t really devout. Which isn’t bad. I just hope to eventually see someone who is. Joyce is good, but at this point her faith seems to be coming down around her ears. What I MEANT was that I hope to see someone who is devout and confident in their faith without it being completely horrible to others. Again, I did NOT mean this in a “I’m so angry” way, just as a it would be cool if this happened. Billie and Becky don’t strike me as particularly devout. The only ones that came across as devout to me are Joyce, Hank, and whatsherface (the asshat), and hank’s wife (the other asshat). Sorry if this came across as whiney or what have you, it was just my opinion. Hell i’m not even Christian. I just thought it would be cool if she met someone who could show her that there is a way to be religious and not asshat-y. Maybe her dad will become that eventually, but as I recall he hasn’t been such in the past. Not compared to his wife of course, but still.

                • Emperor Norton II
                  Emperor Norton II
                  June 23, 2016 at 5:49 pm | #

                  Oh, it is the classic “OK, you gave me examples just of what I wanted, but they do not count, because they are Not True Christians*” bait trap. Never seen that before!**

                  *Or as you would say it, “devout and confident in the faith”. Same difference.

                  **Except for almost all the times someone else has made the same complaint and gotten perfectly good examples in return.

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              June 20, 2016 at 9:29 pm | #

              Becky is Christian.

            • GhostWriterL
              GhostWriterL
              June 21, 2016 at 10:30 am | #

              You don’t actually read this comic, do you?

            • PomperaFirpa
              PomperaFirpa
              June 21, 2016 at 10:38 am | #

              not asshats: Joyce, Becky, Hank, (technically) Billie…

              I mean, okay, as far as I can tell the basic concept at the heart of this comic is “everyone fails at some point, everyone is an asshole at some point, and we love ’em anyway” and… hey, wait, that seems like a morality that is pretty much my exact brand of Christianity! WHAT A TWIST.

      • SonicBlueRanger
        SonicBlueRanger
        June 20, 2016 at 11:44 am | #

        Apparently Willis was too going by the Alt Text.

  16. TheOthin
    TheOthin
    June 20, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    “Hank can learn” continues!

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      June 20, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      I think its more of “hank fell in with a bad crowd”

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        June 20, 2016 at 12:27 am | #

        It was them damned lesbian wiles.

        • Betty Anne
          Betty Anne
          June 20, 2016 at 2:42 pm | #

          I would suggest Carol and the churchgoers around them are the bad crowd Hank fell in with. He seems like he could be a decent dude, otherwise.

  17. Tacos
    Tacos
    June 20, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Oh? Maybe Hank’ll be the one to Hulk out instead of Joyce.

    • JustCheetoDust
      JustCheetoDust
      June 20, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

      Later they bond over the shared ability to Hulk out.

      • Falling Star
        Falling Star
        June 20, 2016 at 1:01 pm | #

        It was a genetic passing.
        We don’t know where in their ancestral line it started.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 20, 2016 at 12:26 am | #

      I’m sure she got it from somewhere, and I’m 73% sure it wasn’t gamma radiation, because we’ve seen what that does to people and they die rather than get buff.

    • Emma
      Emma
      June 20, 2016 at 7:02 am | #

      I’m hoping and praying that if Joyce gets angry (or maybe she or Becky will start crying? Or both?), Hank will really get the message and either stand up for them or comfort them. I’m not optimistic necessarily, but I think it’s a viable possibility!

  18. Dalrint
    Dalrint
    June 20, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    Additional Hulk Joke!

    Since two minutes late is forever in this business.

    • Dalrint
      Dalrint
      June 20, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

      Oh what the hey I changed my gravitar but it didn’t change. *grumble*

      • Dalrint
        Dalrint
        June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

        Oh there it goes. Never mind.

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          June 20, 2016 at 2:35 am | #

          It takes a few minutes to kick in.

  19. Adj
    Adj
    June 20, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    “I don’t think church is a place for advancing politics,” she or he said, advancing a political viewpoint.

    • Shiro
      Shiro
      June 20, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

      Funny how they don’t seem to think the same about Carol’s gun comment, eh?

      • Chonos
        Chonos
        June 20, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

        Carol’s in a different room with Hank. The conversation is on the other side of the door.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        June 20, 2016 at 2:39 am | #

        I dunno, “a gun would be useful for x task,” where x is equal to keeping the squirrels away, hardly seems political.
        Her tone and expression are a little horrific with context, but not political. Not that hair or sexuality is either.

        • zoelogical
          zoelogical
          June 20, 2016 at 1:51 pm | #

          i guess i feel like that’s not the only reason why she wants Hank to get a gun. but that’s probably that horrific context

        • Amazi-Stool
          Amazi-Stool
          June 20, 2016 at 3:29 pm | #

          There are two gun comments in todays’ strip.

          The one that really is from Carol about using a gun to expel the squirrels and the other one from the conversation Hank is overhearing:
          “I get that what he did to her was unacceptable. I’m not excusing that. It was awful. Horrendous.”
          They are discussing Toedad firing a rifle in the general direction of Becky&Joyce on the IU campus.

          • zoelogical
            zoelogical
            June 20, 2016 at 3:51 pm | #

            they kind of intermingle in interesting ways. like the whole gun control issue is about rights vs. abuse. rights have tended to be held as more important than potential abuse. the kind of gun you’d need to drive off squirrels, i’m told, isn’t the kind of gun that you could use to hurt a human being. and that’s kind of the whole point.

            • Brady
              Brady
              June 20, 2016 at 5:08 pm | #

              These are ground squirrels. You get ground squirrels with traps that you set in their burrow openings, not guns. Everyone knows that. Bullets don’t go through dirt that well. And using a gun to kill any kind of squirrel, tree or ground, inside a town is absolutely ridiculous, especially a town as big as theirs. Even a squirrel gun can hurt a human being. This Carol character doesn’t grasp guns or ground squirrels.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              June 20, 2016 at 7:37 pm | #

              Well, you could use a shotgun with bird shot or rock salt.

              Or you could get something like a Ruger 1 Varminter

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      June 20, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      “Why do you have to bring politics into your existence? Why can’t you just be normal? Ugh.”

      • 3-I
        3-I
        June 20, 2016 at 12:53 am | #

        This. This this. That’s totally what people mean when they say a matter of identity is just “politics.”

    • Dana
      Dana
      June 20, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

      What she (interesting that I’m assuming it’s a she. /me shrugs) means is church isn’t a place for advancing politics (s)he disagrees with.

      • zoelogical
        zoelogical
        June 20, 2016 at 1:55 pm | #

        that kind of passive-aggressive loud whispering is pretty gendered, yeah. and this is a place that is all about appropriate gender roles. i guess i would be pretty surprised to find out that this speaker was a dude or a genderless person. guys in this culture aren’t socialized to think that they can’t just say something to someone and have it respected.

    • bryy
      bryy
      June 20, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

      Not to mention that sexuality in no way is political in the context of Becky.

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      June 20, 2016 at 12:25 am | #

      I did a quick google search for “politics”. Here’s the definition Google provides:

      Politics (from Greek: πολιτικός politikos, definition “of, for, or relating to citizens”) is the process of making uniform decisions applying to all members of a group. It also involves the use of power by one person to affect the behavior of another person.

      Like, what the hell isn’t politics?

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 20, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

        Playing Solitaire?

        • Mordecai
          Mordecai
          June 20, 2016 at 3:14 am | #

          Aren’t you trying to apply uniform decisions to all the cards in the game?

          • Reltzik
            Reltzik
            June 20, 2016 at 8:48 am | #

            Nope! Case-by-case basis!

            … also, they’re not uniforms, they’re suits.

            • Mordecai
              Mordecai
              June 20, 2016 at 9:42 pm | #

              Nice.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        June 20, 2016 at 9:44 am | #

        Technically? Nothing.

        That’s the real meaning of “the personal is political”. That there is no aspect of one’s personal life that isn’t affected and impacted by politics in one form or another. How we love, how we fuck, how we pee, how we work, how we recreation, how we take care of our bodies, even how we die. Everything is affected by politics. Even the status quo is a political stance.

        Which is the extra nastiness in setting only a specific group of people’s lives as political or a certain set of political beliefs as political and thus “controversial” and “not to be brought up”. It’s about enforcing certain ways of existing out of the public sphere and creating a political argument that one’s own political stances are just “natural” and “apolitical”.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 20, 2016 at 12:27 am | #

      Apparently it IS a place for advancing hypocrisy.

      ….

      …. but we knew that already.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      June 20, 2016 at 1:03 am | #

      You don’t undddderstaaaand!!! It’s not politics when you’re aggressively defending a regressive worldview, it’s only politics when one expresses oneself or defends oneself from said regressive worldview.

      Geez, it’s right there in Page 4 of your handout, right after the section on how people existing is them shoving their identity down your throat and how defending oneself from bullying attack is the real bullying.

      • Neeks
        Neeks
        June 20, 2016 at 2:26 am | #

        Well i mean, didn’t Jesus say to turn the other cheek or something? So obviously not letting bullies ground you into the dirt is totes anti Christian. /sarcasm

  20. Lapin
    Lapin
    June 20, 2016 at 12:05 am | #

    It’s also super fun when they assume you’re HOH enough they can actually whisper shit like this right behind you. Joke’s on them, turns out I can hear asshat-ese at any volume.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 20, 2016 at 12:29 am | #

      I’m adding that to the list of super powers that I Do Not Want.

      • Lapin
        Lapin
        June 20, 2016 at 1:32 am | #

        Eh. When people think you’re Deaf, they say all sorts of interesting things around you while you’re trying to fix the internet in the front office. Keeping a straight face was the hardest part.

      • Freemage
        Freemage
        June 20, 2016 at 1:39 am | #

        You probably want to add mine, too: “Get into the mindset of really horrible people.” I can usually explain what’s actually going on behind incoherent internet screeds and comments like the one in the comic to people who are genuinely befuddled by them, but it always makes me feel like I need a shower afterwards.

      • Cybersnark
        Cybersnark
        June 20, 2016 at 11:20 am | #

        Now imagine how Superman feels, able to hear every conversation in Metropolis.

        Yes, even those ones.

    • Cosicant
      Cosicant
      June 20, 2016 at 12:59 am | #

      I’m not entirely sure what HOH stands for, but I have this very amusing image in my head of water molecules acting very strange, so I thank you for that…and now they have fancy hats, because church is all about those fancy hats, at least according to my aunt.

      • Dellaran
        Dellaran
        June 20, 2016 at 1:14 am | #

        Hard of hearing, I think. But I like your interpretation better.

      • Lapin
        Lapin
        June 20, 2016 at 1:30 am | #

        Hard of hearing. These people assumed it meant fully Deaf. Trouble is, while I can’t always distinguish the typical man’s voice anymore to hear words, (deeper pitch + for some societal reason men mumble a lot), the typical high-pitch of the judgemental church-going asshat women are still all too clear.

        It was fun for the minute it took them to work it out. People gossip about the most damning things when they think you can’t hear them.

  21. BlackScarabZ
    BlackScarabZ
    June 20, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    Damn it Willis, I can’t handle all of Hank’s ambiguous activity! Is he going to help Joyce and Becky or hurt them? This is too much ambiguity!

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      June 20, 2016 at 12:27 am | #

      Really? Hank seems pretty unambiguously pissed off by the congregation gossiping about his pretty-much-daughter.

  22. Wheelpath
    Wheelpath
    June 20, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    This should’ve been the Father’s day update

    • Pastafarian
      Pastafarian
      June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

      For me this is the Father’s Day update. Time zones?

      • Trae Dorn
        Trae Dorn
        June 20, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

        This is the Monday comic.

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          June 20, 2016 at 2:34 am | #

          A lot of us get the comic a day early, but in the late evening.

          • Rukduk
            Rukduk
            June 20, 2016 at 2:45 am | #

            Precisely. West Coast dweller here. It comes in at around 9:03 pm. in central California.

            • Disloyal Subject
              Disloyal Subject
              June 20, 2016 at 2:58 am | #

              Yup. When DoA updates, I know it’s officially nighttime and I should start considering sleep.
              Then I look out the window and holy shit the moon is pretty tonight, fuck yeah California.

    • dethtoll
      dethtoll
      June 20, 2016 at 3:03 am | #

      Considering my days end late in the night, this IS the Father’s Day comic. I couldn’t be happier 🙂

  23. magicallady
    magicallady
    June 20, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    how dare becky be herself? its shameful

    • Koms
      Koms
      June 20, 2016 at 12:54 am | #

      Yeah..her hair isn’t her hair.

  24. VizardJeffhog
    VizardJeffhog
    June 20, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    The forehead wrinkles, the nose scrunching, the furrowing brows, and the building anger for Becky to match! HANK’S GOT IT ALL!

  25. Nick Piers
    Nick Piers
    June 20, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    Yeah, how DARE she be openly happy about who she is.

    That monster.

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

      Yeah it’s not like the rest of the parish can be.

      • 3-I
        3-I
        June 20, 2016 at 12:54 am | #

        Why can’t the rest of the parish be openly happy about who Becky is?

        I mean, it’s gotta be easier than being openly happy about who THEY are.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          June 20, 2016 at 1:05 am | #

          I feel like that’s common, where people who are hateful about other’s existence live such scared small lives that enforcing the crab bucket is the only way they can feel better about their bad choices.

  26. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    June 20, 2016 at 12:06 am | #

    Well who every you are it’s not from a like of trying on other peoples part and carol if hank doesn’t want a gun he doesn’t want a gun.

  27. Syndicaidramon
    Syndicaidramon
    June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    Ooooh, can we expect a Hank blowout? I am eager with anticipation. 😀
    No matter what, I foresee this church meeting ending quite pleasingly indeed. 🙂

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      June 20, 2016 at 3:01 am | #

      Your stupid overconfidence is nostalgic.

      • trlkly
        trlkly
        June 20, 2016 at 5:13 am | #

        Unfortunately, I think you have to shorten that link to get around the bongo filter.

  28. Critias
    Critias
    June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    You go, Scrunchy-Faced-Dad.

  29. Doopyboop
    Doopyboop
    June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    I wanna be super jazzed about Hank and what will hopefully be him defending Becky, but holy shit Carol. About a week ago a man pointed a RIFLE at your daughter and her BEST FRIEND and here you are all “hahaha my husband needs a gun to shoot the squirrels” WOW. WHAT THE FUCK.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      June 20, 2016 at 12:31 am | #

      She felt that he was doing what he felt was right at the time. She cares more about ‘Good Christian Values’ than her own flesh-and-blood’s well being.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 20, 2016 at 1:25 am | #

        The poor woman, we have to understand what she has been through

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      June 20, 2016 at 1:06 am | #

      It’s been all the illustrative how much the context of last week has been scrubbed clean in this little community that spawned it. I mean, this was the church that bred Toedad and his beliefs and everyone’s ranting about lesbians being sinners and joking about guns, like two of their own weren’t nearly murdered by another one of their own.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        June 20, 2016 at 3:07 am | #

        Well put. Thank you.

      • Woobie
        Woobie
        June 21, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

        The man listening to Hank looks like a bald Toedad. Next in line?

    • DSL
      DSL
      June 20, 2016 at 6:01 am | #

      Some people, even some who are not Carol, can differentiate between possessing a gun as a squirrel-control device and using a gun as an intimidation/harm device against other people. Yes, I get that the intent is to reinforce the presentation of Carol as horrifyingly tone-deaf (mission accomplished).

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        June 20, 2016 at 7:29 am | #

        Don’t forget that Toedad’s gun was identified by several here as just such a “varmint rifle”.

        • butting
          butting
          June 20, 2016 at 12:20 pm | #

          Yup. And if anyone thinks that wasn’t deliberate on Willis’s part, I’ve got twenty bucks here for a non-conforming haircut.

        • DSL
          DSL
          June 20, 2016 at 4:00 pm | #

          Yep. That does not contradict what I said.

    • Lauralot
      Lauralot
      June 20, 2016 at 11:25 pm | #

      Yeah, seriously. Does Carol not care about Joyce at all, beyond as an extension of herself to control? She can’t muster up enough compassion not to mention guns while the daughter who was very recently threatened with a firearm is visiting?

  30. Cephalo the Pod
    Cephalo the Pod
    June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    I don’t think I’ve ever been so relieved to see a character getting angry before.

  31. dailybrad
    dailybrad
    June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    I guess we know where some of the comment section went, Joyce’s church. 😛

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      June 20, 2016 at 1:06 am | #

      Comment of the year! 😀

    • Falling Star
      Falling Star
      June 20, 2016 at 1:02 pm | #

      I think they may have already been there.

  32. Rosicrucian
    Rosicrucian
    June 20, 2016 at 12:07 am | #

    Hank is… basically a good person. He uses his religion as a guide for his life, not an opportunity to judge people.

    I really like that we get to see Joyce’s struggles reconciling her faith with reality occurring in parallel on a more subtle level with Hank.

  33. Hollister Dixon
    Hollister Dixon
    June 20, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    Suddenly, Hank realizes what a dick he may have been, and is gonna kick some ass.

  34. Sionyx
    Sionyx
    June 20, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    I am really liking Hank. Joyce has a supportive parent, Becky has a supportive father figure, and Jocelyn is much more likely to have a supportive parent should she decide to come out. Hank may not like all the changes in his life, but he knows he’s a father AND that his religion says to love one another, so he will do his darndest to deal with his own issues before trying to force his children to change.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      June 20, 2016 at 12:33 am | #

      Ya know, the problem with how I speed read is that I skip some words, and sometimes context goes missing. Like how I read ‘Becky has a supportive father figure’ as ‘Becky has a supportive father’. I had a bit of a wtf moment there.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        June 20, 2016 at 3:08 am | #

        I had the same double-take here.

  35. Cheshrin
    Cheshrin
    June 20, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    Hank.

    Hank, I’m putting my faith in you to be a Good Dad(tm). (Or Dad Figure, in Becky’s case.)

    HANK, DON’T LET ME DOWN.

  36. Siddlaw
    Siddlaw
    June 20, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    “She used to be so beautiful” because supressing who you really are is HOT

    • Shiro
      Shiro
      June 20, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

      Of course, that’s the expectation they have for all women.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        June 20, 2016 at 1:09 am | #

        Yup, that’s the role occupied by young women. To be pretty, to snag themselves a husband. Later, they’ll be expected to be the perfect holy housewives, but for now, be pretty, get a man.

        And if the men “playfully” swat at their behinds, well that’s only their fault for existing and being pretty. I mean, aren’t you supposed to safeguard your virtues ladies, I mean back in my day, we weren’t all strumpets, and so on…

        A culture where women are decorations or victims, and victims must be mercilessly destroyed.

    • Rosicrucian
      Rosicrucian
      June 20, 2016 at 12:11 am | #

      In some churches and denominations, there is a weird fixation on long hair for women.

      And it’s weird because cutting your hair short is often seen as a mutilation of natural beauty among these churches.

      • Rukduk
        Rukduk
        June 20, 2016 at 2:50 am | #

        It’s partly an Old Testament thing, where Jewish women, in order to show that they were faithful Jewish women, were required to wear there hair long and covered. It was partly for religious reasons, but also partly for reasons of self-identifying as an ethnic Jew in ancient Palestine, and thus not being assumed to be a Canaanite woman.

        • trlkly
          trlkly
          June 20, 2016 at 5:23 am | #

          I’m only aware of it as a New Testament thing. 1 Corinthians 11:6 — “For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.”

          Yes, there’s an “if” there, and that’s the out for many.

          But the context still is problematic, as this is the point where it defines women as being subservient to men. The command to cover your head is a sign of subservience. It even says that a woman’s beauty exists for the glory of man, while a man’s exists for the glory of God.

          • A loiterer
            A loiterer
            June 20, 2016 at 6:57 am | #

            Also, in Greek and Roman society the slaves were often known for their shaved heads, while free people had hair. So that explains at least one of the “if”s.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          June 20, 2016 at 7:32 am | #

          Of course, we’ve completely dropped the whole Biblical “men should never shave or cut their hair” thing.

      • George Wiman
        George Wiman
        June 20, 2016 at 7:59 am | #

        Has nothing to do with beauty, though that’s the given reason. See 1 Corinthians 11:15.

      • zoelogical
        zoelogical
        June 20, 2016 at 2:04 pm | #

        this whole conversation has me thinking about when i cut my hair short a couple years ago. i ended up absolutely hating it, hahaha – i don’t even remember why i did it. i think i just did it because i felt like i should try it and then it took me a full year and a half to grow it back. i missed being able to braid it and put it in ponytails and play with it, etc. i guess i’m glad i tried it, but it made me miserable until it grew out again.

        tl;dr hair is important for self-identity

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      June 20, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

      It is all about the “mystery”.

  37. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    June 20, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    *biting fingernails*

    • Falling Star
      Falling Star
      June 20, 2016 at 1:03 pm | #

      *covering eyes*

  38. Guairdean
    Guairdean
    June 20, 2016 at 12:08 am | #

    It’s nice to see that some things never change. Church ladies still stand around casting the first stone. I still remember the laments when segregation was abolished: “I know if one showed up here we’d have to let them in, but I just don’t know what I’d do.”

    • zoelogical
      zoelogical
      June 20, 2016 at 2:05 pm | #

      holy shit

      lemme guess the number of people interested in showing up were about 0

      • Guairdean Beatha
        Guairdean Beatha
        June 20, 2016 at 3:58 pm | #

        It was probably in the negative numbers, actually. Many that were there didn’t want to be. Me included.

        • zoelogical
          zoelogical
          June 20, 2016 at 5:00 pm | #

          sounds about right!

  39. Larkle
    Larkle
    June 20, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

    Joyce makes that same expression as Hank is making now when confronted with outrageous injustice.

  40. Ross
    Ross
    June 20, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

    Okay, sincere question to any with more churchgoing experience than fairly limited amount I have. Is the hair thing really an issue? Everything else being thrown at Becky is recognizable to me as an unpleasant reality of some types of Christianity, and I know there are sects for whom hairstyles are an element of their faith, but I’ve never encountered backlash about hairstyles from mainstream Christians as a phenomenon. Have I just been lucky enough to miss it?

    • Nick Piers
      Nick Piers
      June 20, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

      It’s a non-conformal style. Anything that goes against the norm, even hairstyles, are highly frowned upon in some (many?) churches. That she’s gay just makes it all the worse and the hair gives them more ammo to judge.

      • Ross
        Ross
        June 20, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

        So the problem isn’t that it’s short, it’s that it’s unusual enough to be seen as confrontational and political? Geez, what’s it like to live a life in which you feel the need to police the hairstyles of teenage girls.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          June 20, 2016 at 12:33 am | #

          If you think that’s controlling, Google “purity ball”.

          • Regalli
            Regalli
            June 20, 2016 at 12:55 am | #

            Ten to one Toedad took her to one of those at some point, too. I mean, he wouldn’t even let her cut it feminine-but-short without an excuse, much less this.

        • Idontcarenomore
          Idontcarenomore
          June 20, 2016 at 1:11 am | #

          Try the 1960’s when girls were sent home from school if they tried something that outrageios, and God forbid you put a stripe in your hair, or dye it.
          Boys were sent home if their hair touched their collar.

          And the schools ruled at the time: if your family wanted you back in school, you fixed the hair to match the rules.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      June 20, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

      Semi-related, my grandma basically said to my face I was less of a man and no sane girl would like me because I tend to have long hair and I have a pierced ear, and that’s not masculine.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        June 20, 2016 at 3:12 am | #

        I find it genuinely funny how many people actually believe that.

        • David M Willis
          David M Willis
          June 20, 2016 at 3:15 am | #

          They obviously took this 1996 Mary Worth storyline to heart. http://maryworthcomics.com/comics/february-4-1996/

          • Disloyal Subject
            Disloyal Subject
            June 20, 2016 at 3:30 am | #

            The taboo on hats indoors is pretty ingrained in me, but I invite anyone who thinks long hair unmanly to go watch a Conan movie and/or broaden their idea of masculinity.

    • Aletheia
      Aletheia
      June 20, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

      You’ve just been lucky enough to miss it. The more fundamental branches of the church really preach against any non-“feminine” (aka long, traditional female hairstyles) because of course good, Godly women would show their modesty, chasteness, and focus on God (and not worldly things, like following trends and fashion) through how they wear their hair. Guys also tend to have specific hair rules to follow (mostly short, clean-cut, etc) because they’re men and the rulers of the home and leaders in Christ, so they can’t have hairstyles that have feminine traits.

      (That should all be read as being sarcastic, but not to you, Ross, I swear. I just… those views are mindboggling. > > )

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 20, 2016 at 12:33 am | #

      It depends a lot on the church and its attitudes. Conservative places like this? Definitely it’s a problem. Less because of any particular doctrine, and more because it’s, well, not conservative.

    • Bruceski
      Bruceski
      June 20, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

      A lot of people are jumping on it as some doctrinal thing, but it could just as easily be close-community viewpoint. Becky changed her hair to highlight the change in herself, and the community is now dealing with the change, unable to just pretend everything’s the same as it used to be. “She used to be so beautiful” isn’t some hellfire condemnation in itself, it’s wishing for a past that no longer exists. Similar mentality that made Toedad snap.

      • AgentKeen
        AgentKeen
        June 20, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

        Well, I think Toedad specifically said how she’d ‘destroyed her womanhood’ or something to that effect when he commented on her hair.

        Yeah, here it is http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/facetoface/

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          June 20, 2016 at 1:11 am | #

          This. Her long hair is a symbol of her femininity and womanhood. By cutting it, she is showing her gender confusion that is leading her away from the path of the Lord and into being confused about the “proper” roles for men and women. This being of course the only reason why a “good” girl could decide she is a lesbian (minus of course demon possession or straight up being secretly bad).

          And by doing it willfully and without shame, she is revealing that she was a “bad” girl after all, and is now too sin touched to be saved.

    • miz
      miz
      June 20, 2016 at 1:04 am | #

      I don’t have any churchgoing experience and I didn’t grow up in a particularly church-y city, and I’ve still run into this kind of attitude. I’m kind of impressed that there are commenters here who haven’t? Like, people care a LOT about how other people dress and make themselves up, including their hairstyles and colors. The media flips its shit every single time a famous woman gets a pixie cut, immediately speculating that she might be a lesbian. This kind of stuff is only amplified exponentially by being in a deeply religious community, so I don’t see how any of this is a surprise.

    • fang shinobi
      fang shinobi
      June 20, 2016 at 1:05 am | #

      As an alternative example, in Catholic schools, short hair is frowned upon as well coz it’s considered not feminine enough. Furthermore, a non-secular example are people saying “you’re pretty for someone with short hair” or “you look like a lesbian” coz apparently short hair is ugly and/or gay??? So it’s a combination of all that, I guess.

    • PomperaFirpa
      PomperaFirpa
      June 20, 2016 at 10:36 am | #

      I’m just gonna say: Bill Gothard. BILL GOTHARD. Just. I don’t know where to start explaining how all this shit ties together, but Bill Gothard is a good start. His creepy fixation on very young women with a very specific kind of hair got turned into a WELL THIS IS THE WAY BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD SHOULD LOOK, I’M SURE IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS PARTICULAR FETISH thing that then got broadcast throughout the conservative homeschooling universe, which sure enough brought a lot of young ladies who looked a certain way into his orbit. http://www.recoveringgrace.org/gothardfiles/

    • zoelogical
      zoelogical
      June 20, 2016 at 2:28 pm | #

      it’s funny because the last hair conversation i ran into was about the “I Want To Speak to a Manager” haircut, which generally features on a middle-aged white mom. looks like this: http://40.media.tumblr.com/6427bb492b7a7b2de1bc64e6c8c6b1e8/tumblr_nfkv1yy1Tw1u42p4wo1_540.png

      it’s more of a tumblr thing, and it speaks mostly to middleclass white feminism, i think. it’s kind of an interesting meme because it bounces from outright misogyny to class issues? like the people who have experienced the “I Want to Speak to a Manager” haircut are going to be people who are working minimum wage. but like the reason why it stands out that they want to speak to a manager is because the wearer of this haircut is going to be typically female.

      BUT LIKE as obnoxious as white feminists can be, if they want to speak to a manager, they’re speaking out for their own needs; and that like this haircut goes against gender norms which is why it gets a meme. i can just about promise you that there are older men in the same situation who are much, much more obnoxious and demanding. but like there’s not much lovable about them, they’re just kind of scary. idk, i could probably make a meme about the old bologna guy who came to my deli, but they’re not that memorable because white guys are considered default.

      like, memes don’t always get circulated on tumblr like they do on twitter. twitter will do hashtags to bring awareness to social problems/things they care about, but tumblr memes have to have something you can love about them that’s also instantly recognizable. like the PTA mom meme: something comes up that typifies white middleclass culture, inevitably you’re gonna have someone say “fight me helen” and it is on. the PTA brownies are gonna fly like a guilty pleasure jerry springer binge watch, or reminding rachel that you know about her husband cheating on her with the secretary. *drama popcorn nom*

      ANYWAYS (to bring us back to somewhat DoA related), the “i want to speak to a manager” haircut is not unlike Becky’s haircut here. so, i mean, her last haircut while super short was on the Sam Carter side of self-expression. it was acceptable, looked like it came from the 80s, it was traditional enough that it was okay. but by upgrading to the “i want to speak to a manager” haircut she’s associating herself with feminism and modernism even more than she’s associated herself with lesbianism. and that is gonna scare the bejeezers out of her church’s little conservative hearts.

      • zoelogical
        zoelogical
        June 20, 2016 at 3:22 pm | #

        *addnote: i don’t actually know that much about lesbian culture and/or interpretations of lesbian so that statement should probably be struck

  41. Achallenger
    Achallenger
    June 20, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

    ‘”the only acceptable politics are my politics, all other politics are really just too political”

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      June 20, 2016 at 12:37 am | #

      But to them, it’s not politics. Politics are new world views for them that clash with their ‘gospel’.

    • No I Haven't Had My Coffee Yet
      No I Haven't Had My Coffee Yet
      June 20, 2016 at 9:35 am | #

      My truth, your politics, their wickedness.

  42. AkerSama
    AkerSama
    June 20, 2016 at 12:09 am | #

    Joyce really does take after her father in more ways than just appearance.

  43. Whammy
    Whammy
    June 20, 2016 at 12:10 am | #

    The “why do they have to keep bringing ‘politics’ into everything” lament. Also known as “the very existence of gay people makes me uncomfortable but they keep reminding me they exist by so they should be punished.”

    Of course, for the most part the “reminder that they exist” basically amounts to people basically living their lives in a way that makes them happy and fulfilled instead of as if they are ashamed of their existence.

    • FortyTwo
      FortyTwo
      June 20, 2016 at 12:32 am | #

      Yup! They want erasure. It’s okay for gay people to exist so long as there are no reminders that they’re gay, unless their being gay is making them unhappy.

      (Incidentally, I write a blog about classical music clichés, and I recently posted about erasure and LGBTQ composers, specifically Tchaikovsky, if anyone is interested.)

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      June 20, 2016 at 1:12 am | #

      Well, Whammy, to be fair, gay people do keep on existing, no matter how hard they pray for them all to disappear. If there’s anything that more fits the mold of violent attack on their very identities, I’ve yet to hear it.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 20, 2016 at 1:23 am | #

      We would never bring politics into church of course.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 20, 2016 at 1:23 am | #

        FINE, here is the link I failed to embedd

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/union/

        • Slartibeast Button, BIA
          Slartibeast Button, BIA
          June 20, 2016 at 8:39 am | #

          Gaah, never noticed Chastity Churchmouse’s padlock before.

          • Bagge
            Bagge
            June 20, 2016 at 3:25 pm | #

            Hymmel just keeps giving, doesn’t it?

  44. two-star
    two-star
    June 20, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

    I want to know what they do in the CROOK ADORE.

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      June 20, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

      I believe that is supposed to be “BOOK STORE”.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 20, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

        I like two-star’s version better.

  45. JetstreamGW
    JetstreamGW
    June 20, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

    Yes, Hank, these are your people. Can’t ignore it anymore, can you? 😛

    • Freemage
      Freemage
      June 20, 2016 at 2:02 am | #

      Back in my days as an Episcopalian, we were encouraged to actually read the whole book, not just those chapters that adhered to a particular ideology.

      As such, I got to understand that most of the time, Christ reacted to people failing to be as good as they could with either a bit of humor or with a benign disappointment.

      There’s two instances in the Gospels, really, of him being actually angry. One is when he is tempted/taunted by Satan in the wilderness, and once is when he drives the merchants and moneylenders from the temple. In both cases, he uses the same word to explain his anger: “Hypocrite”.

      I’m suspecting that Hank’s read those passages, too.

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      June 20, 2016 at 10:49 am | #

      Going by Hank’s opinion of Ross, he hasn’t been ignoring them. That said, he might not actually take a stand here– this doesn’t seem like a battle he can actually win.

  46. TWAC
    TWAC
    June 20, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

    willis never shows christienz as anything but characatures and monsterzzzz waaah *flails arms inefectually*

    • Aletheia
      Aletheia
      June 20, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

      TWAC used FLAIL. It’s not very effective.

      • Aletheia
        Aletheia
        June 20, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

        😛

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          June 20, 2016 at 12:38 am | #

          Is Flail ever effective?

          • JustCheetoDust
            JustCheetoDust
            June 20, 2016 at 12:55 am | #

            As self-flagellation, maybe.

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            June 20, 2016 at 1:28 am | #

            As defense only. It’s somewhat more effective than standing passively when used against frontal attacks.

            • Falling Star
              Falling Star
              June 20, 2016 at 1:06 pm | #

              But less effective than either Flee or Counter-Assail.

          • Amazi-Stool
            Amazi-Stool
            June 20, 2016 at 3:51 pm | #

            Well TV Tropes has Epic Flail.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      June 20, 2016 at 3:54 am | #

      Wazzzzzpinatoor haaaatteeess political correctnezzzzz.

      • Cybersnark
        Cybersnark
        June 20, 2016 at 11:31 am | #

        Wazzzzpinator alzzzo hazzz zzztrong feelingzz about gun control.

  47. Doopyboop
    Doopyboop
    June 20, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

    Also pretty sure going by flashbacks, that Becky was below 18 when she had long hair, or at least just barely 18. In which case, good job random church goer, for mourning that fact that someone so young is no longer beautiful in your eyes like holy shit that’s not your business wow. That’s just creepy.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      June 20, 2016 at 1:14 am | #

      I don’t know if it was just a product of the particular flavor of awful I grew up around, but creepy pedophilic fetishization of young church women (to the point of some of the sects straight up shopping young (14) girls out to older men by their parents to try and see who would be their chosen husband).

      And the comments by the older church men were definitely eye-raising when they went on about the rejuvenating powers of youth and how only the young still have that “innocence”.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 20, 2016 at 1:21 am | #

      And of course “she used to be so beautiful when she had the haircut she had when her mother lived. Wow, I wonder if her death affected her, somehow. Maybe we should offer her warmth and compassion or… nah, let’s nag about her haircut instead.”

  48. Luzahn
    Luzahn
    June 20, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

    Hank! He’s not awful!

  49. FuryOfFirestorm
    FuryOfFirestorm
    June 20, 2016 at 12:12 am | #

    “How dare she have an afro, sticking her RACE in our faces!”

    “How dare they have long hair, sticking their GENDER IDENTITY in our faces!”

    “How dare he wear a turban, sticking his RELIGION in our faces!”

    Even when switch key words, the bigotry still sticks out like a sore thumb.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 20, 2016 at 12:36 am | #

      “How dare he paint his fingernails like a gender-norm non-conformist, sticking his thumbs in our fac-yeAARRRRGH!”

      “…. oh, wait, that wasn’t a request?”

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        June 20, 2016 at 12:41 am | #

        Reminds me of a Halloween costume I’ve worn.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 20, 2016 at 1:19 am | #

        +1

      • Falling Star
        Falling Star
        June 20, 2016 at 1:10 pm | #

        All I can think of is Len.

    • zoelogical
      zoelogical
      June 20, 2016 at 2:32 pm | #

      it’s amazing when the only thing you can focus on is the thing that points out that they’re different from you

  50. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    June 20, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

    …I think I did hear stuff like that about hairs and the stigma with girls daring to cut theirs.
    Probably the comment section, possibly The Author’s tumblr. Hmm.

    *can’t think, need coffee*

  51. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    June 20, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

    HANK SMASH!

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 20, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

      ….. dammit, someone said it before me.

      • Falling Star
        Falling Star
        June 20, 2016 at 1:11 pm | #

        You can never say it enough!
        HANK SMAAAAAASH!!

  52. Peter
    Peter
    June 20, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

    Hmm. I said yerterday that I thought Joyce might snap, some time during or immediately after this service. But perhaps… just perhaps… the one who snaps will be Hank?

    • I Write Monsters
      I Write Monsters
      June 20, 2016 at 12:40 am | #

      The family that snaps together . . .

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 20, 2016 at 1:18 am | #

      That seems rather likely. He is a bit behind Joyce in the learning curve and never got Jocelyne’s pep talk.

      I think Hank snapping will result in less property damage but much more severe burns.

      • figureaddict
        figureaddict
        June 20, 2016 at 11:21 am | #

        I’d like to see Joyce snap first, in front of everyone, an have the congregation start in on her too, then have Hank step up behind everyone and just rain hellfire down on them all!

      • zoelogical
        zoelogical
        June 20, 2016 at 2:34 pm | #

        hank: “fight me bethany. i know you were in rehab last summer!”

  53. LordHaw
    LordHaw
    June 20, 2016 at 12:13 am | #

    Would they still complain about her hair if she wasn’t a lesbian but still had the same haircut? Probably would be my guess. It would be like that where I’m from. Religion would have had nothing to do with it either, just small rural town attitudes.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      June 20, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

      Still not performing femininity enough. People would Talk and Have Ideas about it. (Ie, that she was a lesbian, so…)

      • Orion Fury
        Orion Fury
        June 20, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

        “Did you see her hair? That’s not normal, I wonder if she’s, you know…”

        • Regalli
          Regalli
          June 20, 2016 at 12:52 am | #

          “I mean she does have that nice boy, maybe he’ll talk some sense into her.”
          “I sure do hope so. I mean I always did wonder about him…”

    • trlkly
      trlkly
      June 20, 2016 at 5:30 am | #

      I just don’t think so–or at least, not as much. Short hair has never been a problem in my church. The only thing I think might happen was that people would start rumors wondering if she were gay.

    • Betty Anne
      Betty Anne
      June 20, 2016 at 3:19 pm | #

      Would Toedad have pulled her out of school and then chased her down with a gun and kidnapped her if she wasn’t a lesbian, thus providing ample opportunity to use Becky’s hair as a way to justify-not-justify what Toedad did? Not Excusing That Butt is the second cousin to the Not Racist Butt. (Not Sexist Butt being the first cousin. :p)

      If Becky had come home with long, “sweet-girl” hair like her mom was apparently forced to have, I would imagine the gossip would be “Maybe Toedad made a terrible mistake and the lesbian thing was just a misunderstanding and we can find Becky a nice, manly husband to prove it.”

  54. Bicycle Bill
    Bicycle Bill
    June 20, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

    I feel a major level-up coming on.  And if Hank does what I think he’s about to do, he will have also opened up a serious lead in the “best dad” competition.

    And how appropriate this strip appears right after Father’s Day.

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      June 20, 2016 at 3:36 am | #

      If he does, it could land them all in hot water. I can see that happening; Joyce remembers her unknown sister’s advice to lie low, bottles up her rage, and then a moment later Hank explodes.
      It would be consistent with the ways of The Willis.

  55. Jay Eff
    Jay Eff
    June 20, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

    CAROL is also listening through the door.

    VOICE: “She used to be so beautiful.”
    VOICE 2: “I know! And that dress! Goodness, you almost expect Super Mario to come bursting in here to rescue her at any moment…!”

    CAROL: “Forehead lines aligned and engaged.“

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      June 20, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

      +1

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 20, 2016 at 1:17 am | #

      +1+1+1

      “Still, what can you expect, poor thing, without a mother to dress her.”
      Cue Carol!Rage

  56. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    June 20, 2016 at 12:14 am | #

    I’m so mad at these disembodied voices. They can go fuck themselves.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 20, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

      Fuck themselves? Would it make you feel better if I told you that what they’re doing now is a little bit like masturbation?

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      June 20, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

      Without their bodies? I don’t see how that can work.

  57. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    June 20, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

    …..so where should I start on this, all I know first off REALLY Carroll a gun !? Could you be anymore inconsiderate.

    • Cephalo the Pod
      Cephalo the Pod
      June 20, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

      Let’s fucking hope we never find out.

      • Peter
        Peter
        June 20, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

        I think we may confidently expect Carol to roll out the whole nine yards of insensitivity and bigotry.

  58. Brian K. Pittman
    Brian K. Pittman
    June 20, 2016 at 12:15 am | #

    It’s interesting because Joyce and Hank are both going through a similarly eye-opening experience about the people around them. Go get ’em, Hank.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 20, 2016 at 1:13 am | #

      Yup. He said as much about the fountain incident. I’m glad it didn’t stop there.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 20, 2016 at 1:15 am | #

        If Hank is REALLY, REALLY good, listens to his heart and keeps making the right-but-hard choices, he may keep not only one but THREE daughters. That is worth some internal anguish.

        • Brian K. Pittman
          Brian K. Pittman
          June 20, 2016 at 5:02 pm | #

          Indeed. Hank’s journey may end up devastating Joyce’s home life more though, especially if Carol reacts poorly to his views on certain issues, which I am sure will come up. But hey…Amber’s mom is still single. *waggles eyebrows*

  59. A
    A
    June 20, 2016 at 12:16 am | #

    Wow. Spot-on dialogue. It’s that perfect level of understated bigotry.

  60. bryy
    bryy
    June 20, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

    Carol, joyfully talking about murdering living beings. I doubt the line Willis keeps drawing from Ross to her is unintentional.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 20, 2016 at 1:12 am | #

      “I wish you got yourself a gun, Hank. Couldn’t you be more like someone we know who owns a gun…. on a completely unrelated topic, I think you should pull your daughter from school and be more firm with lesbians.”

      Somehow I think you are right.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        June 20, 2016 at 1:17 am | #

        She’s Toedad without the violence, using words instead of fists to cut and threaten. Making sure there’s just an air of menace that dissuades any attempt at rebellious youth shenanigans.

        • bryy
          bryy
          June 20, 2016 at 4:36 pm | #

          I also love how, when actually faced with a lesbian, the congregation (and Carol) can’t do anything but gossip.

          And we need to remember that Carol is really passive-aggressive. It’s been shown that she believes that men are active and women are subservient to them. She has never said anything directly to Becky or Joyce. That was JOHN. He was the one that LITERALLY BRUSHED IT ASIDE when Joyce told him that she had a gun in her face. He was the one that LITERALLY TOLD BECKY IT WAS HER FAULT that Ross did what he did.

          Carol is very, very passive.

          • Cerberus
            Cerberus
            June 20, 2016 at 5:25 pm | #

            Oh, Carol’s brought out the barbs against Becky, but she’s been slick about it, only coming out swinging directly when Becky and her are alone together:
            http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/icebreaker/

            And being more generally, oh, dearie me just making general conversation to the table about recent events when everyone is around.

            But yeah, very big on the passive-aggressive versus the active aggression and dismissal of John.

            I think it’s also really interesting how so many of them have avoided addressing Becky directly. Even Hank who’s been turning this new leaf has spoken far more about Becky when she was nowhere near than he has actively addressed her and checked in on her.

            It really emphasizes how this whole culture outside of Joyce and Jocelyne view Becky more as a prop to stand in for a “gay people spiritually preying on Christians” “debate” than any actual person.

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      June 20, 2016 at 3:44 am | #

      Murder is generally considered the killing of a fellow human, nor squirrels. They tend to rate as vermin, food, or cute.

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      June 20, 2016 at 9:58 am | #

      Just get some mouse traps. Put them where cats and dogs cant get to them. Kills ground squirrels dead. Killed 16 of them when they were destroying our garden and burrowing under the sidewalk last year. 3-4 are cute. 20 or more are a nuisance.

  61. Stephen R. Bierce
    Stephen R. Bierce
    June 20, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

    We had an infestation of ground squirrels on our property in Florida but then a family of owls built a nest near the driveway and porked out on them.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      June 20, 2016 at 8:33 am | #

      But what did you do about the owls?

      • Stephen R. Bierce
        Stephen R. Bierce
        June 20, 2016 at 3:46 pm | #

        The owls were fairly good neighbors. Didn’t have a problem with them.

  62. Pier
    Pier
    June 20, 2016 at 12:17 am | #

    The sign says “Look Whore”?

    • Stephen R. Bierce
      Stephen R. Bierce
      June 20, 2016 at 12:22 am | #

      They put me to workin’ in the school BOOK STORE
      Checkout counter and I got bored
      Teachers were looking for me all around
      Two hours later you know where I was found
      SMOKIN’ IN THE BOYS ROOM…

      • Falling Star
        Falling Star
        June 20, 2016 at 1:13 pm | #

        So glad someone else knows that song!

        • Stephen R. Bierce
          Stephen R. Bierce
          June 20, 2016 at 3:49 pm | #

          *watches Becky steal the toupee off a man’s head*

  63. m-m
    m-m
    June 20, 2016 at 12:18 am | #

    Is the “them” Joyce and Becky? Or is the “them” Joyce’s Family + Becky? If it’s the former do “they” (the disembodied voices) think that Joyce and Becky are together? Questions to ponder.

    • Neeks
      Neeks
      June 20, 2016 at 2:43 am | #

      That’s a good point, the community they grew up in would be well aware of how close joyce and becky were growing up, and now that Becky’s openly gay (and tagging along with the browns), it wouldn’t take too much mental gymnastics to draw the conclusion that joyce is gay as well. After all, what godfearing Christian would be supportive of homosexuality if they weren’t gay too? That would be silly.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        June 20, 2016 at 9:59 am | #

        That’s pretty much how the speculation works. When everyone thought I was a gay male, my male best friend was presumed to be gay as well because he stood up for me. Apparently a similar thing happened to my ex when she got outed as bi where they presumed that all of her friend circle must be lesbians “as well”.

  64. Kay
    Kay
    June 20, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

    DESTROY.

  65. Rukduk
    Rukduk
    June 20, 2016 at 12:19 am | #

    That is an “Oh, hell no!” face if I’ve ever seen one. Something tells me though that he will sit through church slowly getting angrier, and finally, when they get home decide to start looking for another church. This then proves to be the final straw that breaks the back of his and Carol’s marriage, John takes Carol’s side, and Hank ends up getting back in touch with the estranged Jordan while trying, and sometimes failing because failures and mistakes are inevitable for a human being, to be the best supportive father and father figure he can. At least, this is what my hopeful optimism believes.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      June 20, 2016 at 12:45 am | #

      Sad how your optimism involves a family torn apart. Well, if it’s toxic, it’s toxic.

      • Rukduk
        Rukduk
        June 20, 2016 at 3:04 am | #

        I think it’s because I’m generally cynical of familial relationships that are toxic. At that point, people just stop being family. And sometimes it’s for the best. It definitely was for my family. And after a few years of estrangement new, healthy relationships were able to be formed. I would also like to seriously apologize if I come across as passive aggressive with this comment. I want to give an explanation, and text is a very hard medium to do that in properly. And also if this reply sounds jaded or offensive, as it is not my intention to do that.

        • Orion Fury
          Orion Fury
          June 21, 2016 at 1:17 am | #

          No, I got it. Just big on families is all. Just sad when things can’t work out. Even more so when that’s the optimal course. It should never get there.

    • Oysteinthenoisy
      Oysteinthenoisy
      June 20, 2016 at 2:01 am | #

      I believe Hank will have to leave Carol. She’s bigoted, bitter, self-righteous, narrow-minded, and unloving. She is one of many hateful and intolerant so-called Christians, similar to those who felt the victims of the gay club massacre deserved injury and death. I doubt that Hank has ever felt glee upon anyone’s suffering, and I am almost sure that schadenfreude for so-called sinners is very frequent for Carol. I get the feeling that love and tolerance is natural for Hank. He is growing spiritually and Carol is not. Unless Carol is capable of making a huge change, which I doubt, I can’t see that the Browns will have a future together.

  66. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    June 20, 2016 at 12:20 am | #

    I wonder how those judgy gossips feel about separation of church and state.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 20, 2016 at 12:39 am | #

      Depends. Are we talking about separation of church and state where the church is protected from the state, or the separation of church and state where the state is protected from the church, or the separation of church and state where the church takes over the state and calls it religious freedom a la Kim Davis?

      • Falling Star
        Falling Star
        June 20, 2016 at 1:14 pm | #

        I hope the Church never takes over the state.
        By the way, why is the Pope such a powerful man?

  67. Whatthehell
    Whatthehell
    June 20, 2016 at 12:21 am | #

    What’s the big deal with Becky’s hair? It wasn’t even that long before she shaved it. Heck I think Danny’s was longer.

    • Amazi-Stool
      Amazi-Stool
      June 20, 2016 at 4:03 pm | #

      It wasn’t that long because she already sabotaged following her god-defined role by “accidentally” getting super-glue in her hair.

  68. Regalli
    Regalli
    June 20, 2016 at 12:24 am | #

    Just so we’re clear here: When my grandmother first came home from college with her hair cut short (not with an undercut, dear lord this was the 60s, but just cut at ALL much less SHORT), my great-grandmother cried because she thought her daughter was going to go to hell. My great-grandmother lived until 2005, and while she did eventually get over her daughters getting haircuts (I don’t think ANY of my great-aunts have had long hair for over twenty years at least) she never cut her hair until the day she died. (Also wore a prayer covering all the time.) When I’m at places where the same not-quite-Amish-borderline-Plain Pennsylvania Dutch sect we’re from is more common, I still see girls my age wearing Appropriately Modest Skirts and their hair pinned back under their prayer coverings.

    Different sect, but this is real, people.

    (I’m lucky enough that most of my exposure to this brand of religion was nonetheless the gentle quiet mostly positive type, but it is in fact A Real Thing.)

  69. Bibulb
    Bibulb
    June 20, 2016 at 12:25 am | #

    Various things here :

    “I’m not excusing that.” Well, no, you kind of are. When you’re comparing “kidnapping and assault with a firearm” to “got a kinda-butch haircut”,you’re pretty much excusing it, or at the least trivializing the fuck out of it.

    “I just don’t think church should be a place for politics.” And your very existence is political, so get out. Real nice, blue-hair. (I’m assuming. I’m aware that my assumptions are rooted in Texas gossiping old church ladies, so bear with me.)

    “She used to be so beautiful.” Code for “DAMN, maybe I’m more towards the middle of the Kinsey spectrum than I thought. Wonder if she brimps.”
    (And no, I understand – it’s not masked desire, it’s just nasty intolerance.)

    I am sometimes very, VERY glad that I was raised under Extremely-Reform Judaism.

    • Rodimiss
      Rodimiss
      June 20, 2016 at 12:49 am | #

      All of this is on point. “Your very existence is political”, exactly, damn. ‘We don’t mind if you’re different, just don’t flaunt it’, is the kind of thing these people say, except existing and not being ashamed -IS- flaunting it.

      • 3-I
        3-I
        June 20, 2016 at 12:57 am | #

        this. x.x

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 20, 2016 at 1:10 am | #

        Very, very true. And we have seen from Carol what Becky can do to “flaunt it” and “be too much Becky”: EXISTING.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          June 20, 2016 at 1:19 am | #

          This. It’s a justification for violence and attack, because it makes the marginalized person at fault for “making the first strike”. If they “flaunted it”, “shoved it in your face”, then of course, you were justified to attack and scream and hurt the person for existing.

          And all while telling yourself that you don’t actually hate X, just the uppity ones who just throw it in your face and expect you to like them and approve of them. And it’s not bigotry. It’s not!

          • PomperaFirpa
            PomperaFirpa
            June 20, 2016 at 11:35 am | #

            The “it’s their fault for making me bigoted by THROWING IT IN MY FACE” crowd is painfully similar to the “LOOK WHAT YOU’RE MAKING ME DO TO YOU” brand of abuse. We can’t possibly be expected to avoid being cruel to other people when we’re PUSHED like that! (Other cheek? no, that only counts toward people who are… um… LOOK IT JUST DOESN’T COUNT HERE.)

            • Cerberus
              Cerberus
              June 20, 2016 at 4:30 pm | #

              Oh very much so. And is reflected also in this particular flavor of Christianity and its fixation on a God figure whose wrath you must avoid long enough to make it to the Rapture, rather than a genuinely loving being.

              That abuser’s logic is so potent and reverberates so thoroughly and must make a lot of sense to those who perpetuate it.

    • zoelogical
      zoelogical
      June 20, 2016 at 2:37 pm | #

      alla this.

  70. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    June 20, 2016 at 12:27 am | #

    That alt-text makes me *evil grin* in the worst way.

    • Orion Fury
      Orion Fury
      June 20, 2016 at 12:48 am | #

      For me it was when I saw the last panel. Pass the fuckin popcorn.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        June 20, 2016 at 12:59 am | #

        That is definitely an, “Oh HELL naw.” face if I’ve ever seen one.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      June 20, 2016 at 12:56 am | #

      “But it looked SO NICE before, why did you have to change it?”
      “Because I wanted to and I don’t exist to please you jerks?”
      “Man, how obnoxious!”

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 20, 2016 at 1:05 am | #

        *little girls voice* “I thought that maybe, if I made myself different enough, my father would not recognize me when he came hunting for me with a gun. It di.. didn’t work”

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          June 20, 2016 at 1:20 am | #

          “Turns out my hair is like a signal flare in a midnight sea…”

    • 3-I
      3-I
      June 20, 2016 at 12:57 am | #

      I wonder where those commenters have gone now. I wonder if they know that Willis sees them. That their tears fuel him.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        June 20, 2016 at 1:17 am | #

        They moved to Joyce’s church apparently.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 20, 2016 at 1:29 am | #

      “And do you know what I hear? She apparently spent a 20 someone gave her on that haircut.”
      “Scandalous”

      • Spencer
        Spencer
        June 20, 2016 at 3:52 am | #

        dangit bagge i wanted to make that joke

  71. Heavensrun
    Heavensrun
    June 20, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

    I love Hank so much for that face right there.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      June 20, 2016 at 1:22 am | #

      I know, this is such a positive sign that he’s starting to go the full Joyce. He’s been “tolerating” Becky up to now, but getting angry on her behalf, seeing her as a human and that shit as awful as it is? That’s him genuinely supporting her. If he nurtures that, then they and maybe hopefully Jocelyne will at least still have a dad out of all this.

  72. NoHeart6265
    NoHeart6265
    June 20, 2016 at 12:28 am | #

    Alrighty Hank, this is a real chance to earn some more respect from us commenters so don’t you go and blow it!

    • DSL
      DSL
      June 20, 2016 at 6:16 am | #

      Hmmmm, yaaaas, enforce behavioral conformity through threatened peer pressure.

      • StClair
        StClair
        June 20, 2016 at 10:34 am | #

        Some human behaviors, it’s really really hard to break the habit/pattern. A lot of people just settle for finding new acceptable targets.

        • NoHeart6265
          NoHeart6265
          June 20, 2016 at 11:57 pm | #

          Am I in the wrong here?

  73. Wixvhen
    Wixvhen
    June 20, 2016 at 12:31 am | #

    Damn, what kind of stuck up church is that? I mean, it’s just hair. The only time I even saw hair even close to Becky’s was -at- church. Nobody bothered to dress themselves up much at school, except for prom or homecoming. You know, except the occasional girl who was trying to get laid. Wasn’t hard, though. My school was famous for being ‘friendly’, apparently.

    • quix
      quix
      June 20, 2016 at 1:11 am | #

      If your church is big on gender norms, it probably cares about hair. I know people from churches where cutting hair at all was a big deal. For women, anyway.

  74. Sarda
    Sarda
    June 20, 2016 at 12:32 am | #

    I understand that the comment about her hair is more a religious intolerance thing, but honestly I’ve always felt it looked pretty weird too. Not exactly sure what it’s supposed to be, maybe if I saw a picture of an actual person with the intended hairstyle?

    That said, I probably shouldn’t be talking. I would post a picture, but no. I’m not going to post a picture.

    • Silamy
      Silamy
      June 20, 2016 at 1:02 am | #

      I’m just going to assume that Jason said that. “What, remove my bowtie? Well, of course, if I’m putting on a DIFFERENT one….”

    • miz
      miz
      June 20, 2016 at 1:10 am | #

      http://i.imgur.com/VvGDJEb.jpg Like this, I think?

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 20, 2016 at 1:30 am | #

        Rad

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      June 20, 2016 at 1:24 am | #

      This, but red:
      https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/cf/ee/00/cfee00836d787c3d1f50feac3002c7a7.jpg

      It’s a common style in younger and more alternative girl’s communities and has been worn by a few wlw celebrities, so it’s seen in a similar vein as the pixie cut was in the 90s.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 20, 2016 at 1:30 am | #

        Double Rad

      • Falling Star
        Falling Star
        June 20, 2016 at 1:16 pm | #

        I have pretty much this hairstyle, but how it manages with ethnic hair, and no one gives me any flack about it or thought I was a lesbian.
        Why is this weird? I think it’s very pretty.

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          June 21, 2016 at 12:51 am | #

          I don’t know you, but I’m willing to bet you are Rad.

  75. Bobvankay
    Bobvankay
    June 20, 2016 at 12:32 am | #

    Ooooh Looks like Hank is about to join the rest of us sinners, question is, will the meltdown happen in church or the dinner table?

    • Falling Star
      Falling Star
      June 20, 2016 at 1:18 pm | #

      Here.

  76. Regalli
    Regalli
    June 20, 2016 at 12:34 am | #

    Other comments beyond the “y’all are already questioning if this is a thing so let me step in since my religious abuse was purely self-inflicted shit I’m not sure where I internalized and so I’m otherwise distanced enough to say: Yes, this is indeed A Thing” step in: Hank, if you end up Actually Saying Something this time, my opinion of you might actually rise. Hopefully this is actually opening your eyes a bit to this stuff too? Just a touch? (Because dammit if there is any potential for Jocelyne’s coming out to be less traumatic I want it to be.)

    Carol… hoo boy. Willis, I know you’ve talked a bit about how you’re not really in contact with your mom anymore and I have all the sympathy for you, and if this kind of casual-but-blaring warning sign is autobiographical too, here’s another helping dollop of it. Either way, that is just. Such a thing, given the week they’ve been through.

    Everything else: Even separated from the religious context, still way too familiar to me for comfort. Augh, it’s always so awful.

    • rachel
      rachel
      June 20, 2016 at 12:44 am | #

      yeah, this is getting acutely painful.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        June 20, 2016 at 12:50 am | #

        Microaggressions suck so hard. Especially a whole ton of them together like this.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          June 20, 2016 at 1:26 am | #

          Seriously! And he captures it so painfully well. Right up to the casual dismissal of genuine awfulness by one’s community and family as if nearly getting killed or getting threatened with reparative therapy was normal.

    • Slapdash
      Slapdash
      June 20, 2016 at 2:17 pm | #

      Seriously reliving my teen years and early twenties. This is a little too real.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        June 20, 2016 at 4:08 pm | #

        It’s constant and it’s everywhere and it’s so exhausting and painful and my sympathies, friend.

  77. J
    J
    June 20, 2016 at 12:35 am | #

    Hank’s limit break is ready!

  78. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    June 20, 2016 at 12:36 am | #

    http://i.imgur.com/8hGGWS0.png

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      June 20, 2016 at 12:48 am | #

      That’s so kawaii!

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 20, 2016 at 1:02 am | #

      AWESOME!!!!!

    • Willoughby Chase
      Willoughby Chase
      June 20, 2016 at 3:00 am | #

      nice

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      June 20, 2016 at 3:49 am | #

      I don’t want to overstate this greatness, but you might actually be the best thing to ever happen to the universe.

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      June 20, 2016 at 3:54 am | #

      YES! YES!
      (Also, the sparkles loaded before the rest of the image and now I’m wondering what kind of Goku Uniforms the cast would wear if they attended Honnouji Academy.)

    • zoelogical
      zoelogical
      June 20, 2016 at 2:39 pm | #

      heck

  79. Ann
    Ann
    June 20, 2016 at 12:37 am | #

    I teared up at the last panel…

  80. Matthew Magouirk
    Matthew Magouirk
    June 20, 2016 at 12:39 am | #

    Ready for some table flipping.

    • NoHeart6265
      NoHeart6265
      June 20, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

      Are you hoping for some whip cracking on the side?

      • Matthew Magouirk
        Matthew Magouirk
        June 20, 2016 at 1:15 am | #

        In my head, he’s already in some Dom gear and ready for the sexy whip cracking.

        • NoHeart6265
          NoHeart6265
          June 20, 2016 at 1:50 am | #

          I just pictured that. It was great. Then I pictured Joyce’s reaction to that. The level of greatness rose exponentially.

    • WingedBeast
      WingedBeast
      June 20, 2016 at 1:09 am | #

      It feels like it’s coming.

      Or, at least, it feels like it’s deserved.

  81. Rodimiss
    Rodimiss
    June 20, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

    “I know he threatened her and her friends with a gun, but she had the audacity to cut her hair!”

    Also, gotta love how the very act of existing when you’re gay is political. What politics did I bring here? My haircut and my Kinsey 26?

    • Pagannerd
      Pagannerd
      June 20, 2016 at 2:32 am | #

      I’m gonna have to assume you meant 2.6, because considering the Kinsey scale goes from 0 to 6, a 26 must be some sort of post-critical mass black hole of gayness.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        June 20, 2016 at 3:57 am | #

        Becky is, in fact, a post-critical mass black hole of gayness.

        • Rodimiss
          Rodimiss
          June 20, 2016 at 12:57 pm | #

          Ha, my memory actually pegged Becky one higher on the scale than the post-critical mass black hole of gayness that she claimed to be.

  82. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    June 20, 2016 at 12:42 am | #

    All RIGHT! Tomorrow we’re going to see Hank lay down some righteous —

    … crap, it’s going to be Dina and Carla or something, isn’t it?

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 20, 2016 at 1:00 am | #

      I for one would love to see Dina and Carla interact.

      • podian
        podian
        June 20, 2016 at 2:27 am | #

        I second that.

      • Gecko
        Gecko
        June 20, 2016 at 8:28 am | #

        I’ve been hoping for that for some time. I think they could hit it off.

    • Icalasari
      Icalasari
      June 20, 2016 at 1:41 am | #

      Probably a lot of off screen prep will be needed

      Feels like it will be great in the, “He prepped this” way

  83. Teddae
    Teddae
    June 20, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

    Oh oh no, shit’s going down, bracing for impact… the uncomfortable meteor of realisation is hitting so bad

  84. Kyle
    Kyle
    June 20, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

    its honestly so comforting to see joyces dad opening up his worldview as its challenged instead of digging in his heels especially when i know my own dad would never

  85. rachel
    rachel
    June 20, 2016 at 12:43 am | #

    luv u hank <3<3<3 good work

  86. CC
    CC
    June 20, 2016 at 12:48 am | #

    “Having a gun pointed at you by your own dad is bad and all, but that hair is the real crime”

    … Are you sure? Are you sure about that, random church person?

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      June 20, 2016 at 1:29 am | #

      Well, obviously. It’s simple. They have to dismiss gunman and the gay girl, but the gay girl is here and the gunman did the “right” thing according to the faith, so cry some crocodile tears about how you clearly didn’t mean for anyone to do that, but at least he’s repentant in prison and his soul is saved from the momentary madness his daughter’s betrayal caused.

      But the gay girl? She’s still claiming to be gay, meaning she is still openly sinning. And in church too. It’s just not right.

      Bob damn do I wish I didn’t have as much personal experience with shitheads like this than I do.

  87. Bagge
    Bagge
    June 20, 2016 at 12:54 am | #

    Aaaaand in the next round of Church or Daughters, what will Haaaaank chooose?

  88. Moose
    Moose
    June 20, 2016 at 12:58 am | #

    They’re clearly talking about Sinead O’Connor. Definitely not anyone else.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 20, 2016 at 1:01 am | #

      Jennifer#2.

    • Amazi-Stool
      Amazi-Stool
      June 20, 2016 at 4:19 pm | #

      They lost Hannah Montana and gotten Miley Cirus instead!

  89. Catty
    Catty
    June 20, 2016 at 1:08 am | #

    It’s not even a particularly radical hairstyle. Asymmetry, oh the humanity! It’s not like she shaved it all off and painted her scalp lime green.

    Maybe they confused it with this: youtube.com/watch?v=YrK4WpfmVjI

  90. Professor Fate
    Professor Fate
    June 20, 2016 at 1:09 am | #

    The joy of sects. How ‘forgiving’ Xians can be so petty and judgemental never fails to amuse me. WWJD? He’d probably throw you out of the temple with the moneylenders.

    • Idontcarenomore
      Idontcarenomore
      June 20, 2016 at 1:17 am | #

      It might amuse me how your own remark is very judgemental also.

      I have had personal experience with the petty and judgemental actions of a lot of churches/religions not just Christian. But they are at the top of the list.

      The least prejudiced may be mine (of course 🙂 ): I’m Wicca.

      • Silamy
        Silamy
        June 20, 2016 at 1:31 am | #

        Can I vote for Unitarian Universalists as “least-prejudiced religion”? All the ones I’ve ever met have been incredibly laid-back people, and most seem to summarize their basic religious views as “don’t be an asshole, and also help the planet, and maybe be actually actively helpful instead of passively not a jerk” [quote from a UU friend of mine, but edited to remove some of the vulgarities].

        • thestarryskye
          thestarryskye
          June 21, 2016 at 2:45 am | #

          I grew up in a UU church and it was really more about the community and upholding ideals than religion. In RE (Religious Education) we mostly discussed the histories of various religions, youth group activities, trying to uphold good ideals and identify harmful ideals, etc. And I do mean discussion, we had a leader but they would keep us on track instead of preaching at us. The church itself held weekly and monthly meetings for different LGBTQ groups. I was never into the whole God thing past age 6 and I was never called names or told I didn’t belong there, only that I was a valued member of the community (wish I could say the same for outside of church). I mean, not much point in arguing what religion is better, but I feel I gotta stump for the people who gave me a needed positive output in my childhood.

          I don’t know if it was the same for every church, but I still remember the song used to usher the children to their respective RE groups: Go now in peace, go now in peace. May the spirit of love surround you, everywhere, everywhere you may go.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        June 20, 2016 at 4:04 am | #

        A Wiccan girl I used to date is the fiercest bigot I’ve ever met. She couldn’t so much as walk past a church without making suggestions of desecrating or razing it, because she had a grudge against some Christians who’d screwed over her education in the pursuit of ‘punishing a heathen.’

  91. invisiblemoose
    invisiblemoose
    June 20, 2016 at 1:12 am | #

    *chants* hank hank hank Hank Hank Hank HANK

  92. Idontcarenomore
    Idontcarenomore
    June 20, 2016 at 1:20 am | #

    Come on Hank, grow a pair, and keep them. Long since past time you stopped co-existing with your bongo wife to keep the peace,

    Stand up for your own beliefs, not just trying to be protector of the kids.

    You can do it.

  93. Hazel
    Hazel
    June 20, 2016 at 1:27 am | #

    I’d feel really bad for Hank, he’s going through a difficult thing, except. You know. It’s so much worse for Becky.

    • thestarryskye
      thestarryskye
      June 21, 2016 at 9:44 am | #

      I think that’s a thing that Willis has been pretty good at showing in this arc. Becky is obviously the one who has experienced the most grief in this situation, but it has affected everyone in different ways.

  94. Dev
    Dev
    June 20, 2016 at 1:34 am | #

    After everything that happened, I think Joyce would BSOD if her folks had a gun…

    I have high hopes for Hank to do the right thing. Don’t let me down, Hank.

  95. Saaaam
    Saaaam
    June 20, 2016 at 1:34 am | #

    aw shit, here it comes

    (Happy Father’s Day)

  96. nlips
    nlips
    June 20, 2016 at 1:37 am | #

    I remember back when Becky first showed up, people were upset at her for prioritizing getting a haircut above everything else — even food and clothes.

    I’m starting to understand it more now. These people use long hair as a symbol of female submission to the teachings of their church. To cut off her hair was an extreme act of defiance. It was Becky’s way of saying she wasn’t going to hide anymore.

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      June 20, 2016 at 10:05 am | #

      Yup, it was her finally being herself and it was a powerful act of defiance and pride. Her being comfortable and “more Becky” and splitting once and for all with the cage of how she was “supposed ta” end up.

      It was incredibly emotionally necessary, though even if it was just a luxury, a luxury was something she needed in that moment too. Something to counter all the awful happening all at once.

  97. Cacturne
    Cacturne
    June 20, 2016 at 1:41 am | #

    With all this bigotry behind closed doors, I feel like we’re all forgetting the REAL problem: the ground squirrels ARE coming back. They’re not afraid of the dog anymore. They’re coming for our blood. And our acorns, but that’s beside the point.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 20, 2016 at 1:43 am | #

      IF ONLY THERE WAS A SUPER HERO WITH SQUIRREL BASED POWERS!!!

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        June 20, 2016 at 4:09 am | #

        SHADE TAIL WILL SAVE US!

        • podian
          podian
          June 20, 2016 at 4:32 am | #

          I’m now imagining all sorts of wacky scenarios of Grace negotiating with ground squirrels.

          • inqntrol
            inqntrol
            June 20, 2016 at 11:08 am | #

            ”As apology, they want you to build a couple of statues for them.”

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        June 20, 2016 at 5:08 pm | #

        Aren’t ground squirrels just another name for chipmunks? If so, then wouldn’t this instead be a job for Chipmunk Hunk?

    • Amazi-Stool
      Amazi-Stool
      June 20, 2016 at 4:23 pm | #

      Why is the squirrel-tag missing on this comic?

      • David M Willis
        David M Willis
        June 20, 2016 at 4:29 pm | #

        Because “ground squirrels” are actually chipmunks.

        • Betty Anne
          Betty Anne
          June 20, 2016 at 9:07 pm | #

          Wait, they’re not called “fuckin’ chippies” or “damn chippies” in Indiana? O.o That state is weird, man. XP (J/K, for those who didn’t pick up on it. XP)

          • Slartibeast Button, BIA
            Slartibeast Button, BIA
            June 20, 2016 at 9:24 pm | #

            They are saving those as insults for cyberpunks with their neurosocket implants.

  98. kaunisenkeli
    kaunisenkeli
    June 20, 2016 at 1:42 am | #

    I get the feeling Mr. Brown is about to earn more Cool Dad points. Here’s hoping I’m not misreading this.

  99. Cerberus
    Cerberus
    June 20, 2016 at 1:49 am | #

    Comic Reactions:

    Panel 1: It’s been mentioned before, but holy fucking shit is Carol just awful. Like, she’s hateful and bigoted and prioritizes her faith over people, but right here she reveals that she’s taken literally nothing out of this affair other than her daughter’s “immorality” in choosing a lesbian over her God.

    Like, the shooting might as well have never occurred for her. Literally doesn’t register for her. She doesn’t think, huh, my daughter’s just been threatened with a gun by her best friend’s dad, maybe I shouldn’t make jokes about my husband owning a gun and casually using it about the home. Because in her mind, the shooting was just a backdrop for the real tale of how Joyce sassed back to her mother and how wrong that was.

    It’s just so twisted of a morality and it’s even worse to know that her bits are the most autobiographical in the whole comic. *All the hugs for Willis* for growing up with that.

    Panel 2: “better here than somewhere else”. Yes, that is the conundrum for the bigots isn’t it. They can’t abide her here, because by existing here she undoes so much of their intentional dehumanization of the gays in their eyes and thus is an “affront”. But they’re still supposed to be in the business of saving souls and so they wouldn’t want at least to be seen hoping they’d be somewhere else losing their eternal souls to Satan.

    And that pregnant pause, so they can both imagine the depths of sin that the dirty lesbian gets up to.

    And that second line about “saying something”, cause of course, you would never turn them out, not ever, just maybe, let them know that this isn’t the best place for them and make sure they understand that they really shouldn’t be coming back here where they can confuse their ironclad morals with their nasty existing. And of course both voices see them as a they.

    At best they see them as a couple. At worst, the simple act of supporting a queer person is seen as as big a sin as being gay. Both would be awful.

    Panel 3: And that’s the rhythm of it isn’t it? They have to excuse it. Because by their scripture, he did everything right. He did what they should do if they truly believed the rhetoric they spill out about the gays. And so they can’t truly condemn it, because this is the blood that makes the machine crush on and lets all the young’uns thinking about “going gay” know that they should think twice and instead just be the nice little props they need to be.

    So, it is a given that they were always going to excuse it, but it’s also a monstrous thing to support openly, so this thin veneer is placed over it. And the “they were shoving it in my face” is a tried and true justification from way back.

    Hell, it was even the justification the Orlando shooter’s father gave for why he did it. Even though he sought it out and staked out the club for weeks. Still it was “shoved in his face” and just “enraged him so”.

    And it’s what makes this whole section just cut like a knife, because we all know that if we ever face violence, this is the type of shit some community somewhere will spout to justify it. It’s what I heard from my parents when I told them about nearly getting killed for being trans. And it’s disgusting.

    Panel 5: This has been ripped to shreds, but “politics” is such a neat little package for the lives of the marginalized. The very lives of the marginalized and hated are “political” and controversial, and so must be banned from the airwaves and banned from speaking on their behalf, because none should be seen “choosing one side over the other” in a “political debate”.

    Sure one side just wants to exist and the other wants to eliminate them one way or another, but they’re sides nonetheless and only one is really “political” when you think about it, after all, we’d have no problem with it if they weren’t trying to make everything so political all the time and attacking our religious right to despise them.

    Panel 6: There are not enough cold showers for how many levels this is disgusting on. The creepy reference to an underaged version of Becky as “beautiful”. The lament that she has somehow lost that “beauty” simply because she didn’t grow up as they would demand. The treatment of their ability to tune out her existence as trumping that of Becky’s right to exist. The way it ties into toxic ideas of femininity and the expectation of young women to simply be attractive pieces of decoration to eventually win a husband.

    Just on every level, it drips with the banality of evil like every ounce of this gossip. This is how the church folks gossip about one of their own nearly murdering two young girls.

    And Hank seems to have just been hit with that and finally realizes how fucked up the casualness has truly been.

    He may yet disappoint me as he’s got a large hole of trained bias he’s been raised in, but I think the fire in his belly has been stoked and he’s going to be a lot less willing to accept the bullshit willingly than he might have a night or two ago.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 20, 2016 at 2:11 am | #

      That’s really the heart of it that you point out, that under this awefullness, these snide remarks, this distancing from Becky and “her kind” is A MAN WHO HUNTED HIS CHILD WITH A GUN.

      ONE OF THEIR OWN.

      ONE WHO FOLLOWED THEIR OWN DOCTRINE

      AND THEY CAN’T BRING THEMSELVES TO CONDEMN IT.

      They don’t even say. “You know, gays are really bad but let’s agree that you shouldn’t hunt children with guns, OK.” They have to go the opposite way and say “hunting children is bad and all, but you know, gaaaaaay.”. Way to prioritize.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      June 20, 2016 at 2:14 am | #

      “And that pregnant pause, so they can both imagine the depths of sin that the dirty lesbian gets up to.”

      I couldn’t resist going back to the strip with dirty lesbians getting up to sin (with a godless heathen, no less).
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/appraisal/

      • J. A. J.
        J. A. J.
        June 20, 2016 at 8:04 am | #

        Not to mention one of those dirty lesbians being Asian, so you also have racism in play if these church people were to find out.

        • Cerberus
          Cerberus
          June 20, 2016 at 5:27 pm | #

          Oh, very much so, lest we forget Toedad’s preferred terminology for “Asian”:
          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/deceptress/

    • modulusshift
      modulusshift
      June 20, 2016 at 6:56 am | #

      That last panel is definitely *the worst*. So much about women in this society is that they’re only valuable due to outside appreciation, and then they have the nerve to hold that approval over her head like this. Fuck that.

      The worst thing about being lesbian for them, since it doesn’t have so much of the ick factor of being mxm gay (they probably appreciate lesbo porn if they appreciate porn at all), is that it removes a woman from the pool that the local guys get to choose from. That’s part of what they mean by that remark. She’s not trying to appeal to them anymore, and that’s a damn shame to them. She’s no longer their collective property, because she’s freed from having to be what they’re attracted to, as a defining part of who she is. And so they hide behind a door and bellyache about it. Fuck that.

      There’s several more layers of fuck that, but those two were the strongest for me.

    • ScarvesandCelery
      ScarvesandCelery
      June 20, 2016 at 11:25 am | #

      “It’s what I heard from my parents when I told them about nearly getting killed for being trans.”
      Just, wow. That’s every kind of awful. I’m sorry you had to go through that.

      *appropriate online gesture of sympathy*

      Great analysis, as always.

    • Charles Phipps
      Charles Phipps
      June 20, 2016 at 1:20 pm | #

      *hug* I’m so so sorry.

    • zoelogical
      zoelogical
      June 20, 2016 at 2:50 pm | #

      all of this.

      -offers hugs to you- i’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through.

      it’s the quiet malice that’s so deadly, i think. the silent permission.

      • zoelogical
        zoelogical
        June 20, 2016 at 4:27 pm | #

        well i mean obviously not more deadly than Actual Violence. but like about what Carol’s doing

  100. Fire_daws
    Fire_daws
    June 20, 2016 at 2:02 am | #

    Do be a hero Cooldad! Go kick some bigoted ass!

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      June 20, 2016 at 2:05 am | #

      *Dad kicks the door open*
      THE FUDGE YOU SAY ?

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 20, 2016 at 2:16 am | #

        Hank: “EFF YOU MOTHEREFFER.”
        Joyce: “You are new to this, dad, let me show you how it is done.” *deep breath*
        Next panel. Church is burnt down, everyone wanders around with shell shocked expression.
        Hank: “where have you learnt that language, young woman?”

        • Disloyal Subject
          Disloyal Subject
          June 20, 2016 at 4:18 am | #

          Burnt down? Did that devil-cartoon of hers include MAGIC LESSONS?!
          (I wish I could pretend people who actually believe stuff like that didn’t exist)

    • J. A. J.
      J. A. J.
      June 20, 2016 at 8:08 am | #

      I can imagine that you’re making the same expression as your avatar.

  101. EvergreenFir
    EvergreenFir
    June 20, 2016 at 2:13 am | #

    I don’t know why, but this hit me hard… I’m glad that Hank is who he is (so far).

  102. podian
    podian
    June 20, 2016 at 2:13 am | #

    Carol never fails to disappoint – shows up only in the background of one single panel, still manages to fulfill the horribleness quota for a week.

    • inqntrol
      inqntrol
      June 20, 2016 at 2:27 am | #

      She’s on the same page like the engineer from TF2 when it comes to solving practical problems.

  103. Grimlock64
    Grimlock64
    June 20, 2016 at 2:15 am | #

    That is the look of a man who is getting tired of someone’s shit.

  104. BenRG
    BenRG
    June 20, 2016 at 2:17 am | #

    I think that Hank is about to pull someone’s head off and use it as a basketball. Probably only in a metaphorical way, though!

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      June 20, 2016 at 4:36 pm | #

      I saw that movie!

  105. Anywhere
    Anywhere
    June 20, 2016 at 2:26 am | #

    TFW you overhear a conversation and every sentence just gets worse and worse and worse even though it’s already bad….

    • Falling Star
      Falling Star
      June 20, 2016 at 1:43 pm | #

      Me:

  106. Retrikaethan
    Retrikaethan
    June 20, 2016 at 2:51 am | #

    …”used to be beautiful?” isn’t that exceptionally creepy to say about someone who (just recently turned?) 18?

    • Dallium
      Dallium
      June 20, 2016 at 3:42 am | #

      No. It really isn’t. If she was getting married at 18, and was in makeup and a dress and the whole thing, would it be creepy to say she’s beautiful? I think everyone is attributing creepiness to it because Carol is horrible.

    • Doopyboop
      Doopyboop
      June 20, 2016 at 5:10 am | #

      I find it creepy too, and it’s not at all because of Carol because the only thing she said in this strip is that her husband should get a gun. Someone else in the congregation is talking about how beautiful Becky the minor with long hair was.

    • zoelogical
      zoelogical
      June 20, 2016 at 3:18 pm | #

      welp, yes. I think it is. 1) because it implies ownership of her beauty. Becky is someone to consume/be consumed by this person, based on how well she conforms to gender roles. 2) owning herself, unconforming to gender roles, makes her less beautiful in the eye of this beholder. 3) it’s a ranking of her value to this beholder. she’s seen as disfigured because she did something as silly as cut her own hair. god, i wonder how much more disfigured she would be if her dad had accidentally shot off her ear or something.

      like beauty as a concept is inherently kind of creepy: it puts a predesignated value on the combination of certain characteristics in conjunction with each other when those combinations are determined by genetics and chance. it’s socially bound and changes. all you have to do is look at a tabloid about how this female celebrity is definitely pregnant because they gained a couple pounds, or how that female celebrity has a couple wrinkles and now deserves to be shunned from society.

      or check out the Disney princess freeware games where someone with too much time on their hands decided to make Elsa pregnant or give Belle zits and warts so that you can do medical surgery and “fix” them. because, like, let’s be real here, Disney princesses are the ideal feminine standard in America. it’s not a coincidence that they started out with Snow White, fairest of them all, whose villain is a woman approaching middle age who hates her because she’s prettier. because society at large can and will boil down a woman’s worth to how pretty she is. not what she does with her life: just how well she conforms to their idea of what a woman ought to be.

      /endrant

    • thestarryskye
      thestarryskye
      June 21, 2016 at 10:34 am | #

      Yep. Grown adults policing what a child looks like. Plus, from personal experience, they have probably never acknowledged her “beauty” until her haircut. (there’s a difference between saying “you look so pretty today, Becky” and having “beauty” be a trait associated with you)

  107. Woof
    Woof
    June 20, 2016 at 2:55 am | #

    I’m glad I never talked to anyone in my hometown church.

  108. Troqu
    Troqu
    June 20, 2016 at 3:02 am | #

    Oh Hank, please tell me you’re about to prove you’re the man/father/friend I hope you are.

  109. Mancuso
    Mancuso
    June 20, 2016 at 3:14 am | #

    “She used to be so beautiful.”
    “Yeah, now she’s just plain friggin’ hot.”

  110. Spencer
    Spencer
    June 20, 2016 at 3:51 am | #

    “And did you know that haircut cost twenty dollars? The nerve, I swear!”

  111. Bagge
    Bagge
    June 20, 2016 at 4:53 am | #

    Oh, and in case you missed the subtext, Hank – it could have been Joyce they talked about, if SHE had been the gay one. It WILL be Joyce they talk about if she does something suitably dramatic in defence of her friend.

    • skdk
      skdk
      June 20, 2016 at 5:30 am | #

      i dont see why you want to tell him that, hes obviously getting angry about the people who are talking

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 20, 2016 at 5:39 am | #

        Mainly I just taking out my frustration on a fictional character, but I also want to remind him that sometimes “almost” is not good enough.
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/occasionally/

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      June 20, 2016 at 6:48 am | #

      Notice the constant use of the pronoun ‘they’. The unknown curtain-twitcher is definitely talking about Becky and Joyce. Maybe the current scuttlebutt is that Joyce is Becky’s lover or something. Because, from what everyone has been saying, that’s more or less how they’ve been acting around each-other for years!

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 20, 2016 at 7:11 am | #

        o-o-o-o-o….

        OK, when you read the rest of my comments, keep in mind that I UNDERESTIMATED the awfulness that was going on here.

      • Cerberus
        Cerberus
        June 20, 2016 at 8:15 am | #

        This. And yeah, I think you’re right that the “consensus” is either that Joyce is Becky’s lover, because “there’s always been something about those girls” and “why would she defend her if she wasn’t that way too” or that simply being gay-supportive might as well be interchangeable or just as bad as being gay yourself.

      • figureaddict
        figureaddict
        June 20, 2016 at 10:46 am | #

        I got that impression too, that whomever is talking is including Joyce in their conversation about ‘they’.

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      June 20, 2016 at 10:06 am | #

      It’s going to be Hank they talk about if he doesn’t toe the party line. Time for a new church.

  112. Palamdrone
    Palamdrone
    June 20, 2016 at 5:13 am | #

    Meanwhile, the ground squirrels are dancing to Kenny Loggins.

    • Falling Star
      Falling Star
      June 20, 2016 at 1:38 pm | #

      Nobody remembered the ground squirrels except for you.
      You must now be their spokesperson.

  113. Potatamoto
    Potatamoto
    June 20, 2016 at 5:16 am | #

    *whips out folding chair, readies comedic foam ‘We’re #1 finger,’ deploys nachos* Oh this thing, this thing right here? This is going to be *good.*

  114. A
    A
    June 20, 2016 at 5:28 am | #

    Christ, no, church jagweed, Becky’s new haircut CAN GET IT.
    It looks so amazing on her, and much more flattering than her old style.
    Every lady I see rockin’ that cut looks sexy as fuck.

    • Betty Anne
      Betty Anne
      June 20, 2016 at 9:41 pm | #

      ^ This. Even *I* looked sexy as fuck wearing it, and I am not sexy as fuck in any way, shape or form. LOL Even had a random dude yell “I love your haircut!” at the gas station. XD

  115. EvilWriter
    EvilWriter
    June 20, 2016 at 5:43 am | #

    Story Time!

    I was raised in Bill Gothard’s ATI homeschooling curriculum (the same guy the Duggars worship). There were exceptionally detailed guidelines, with illustrations, relayed AS OFFICIAL DOGMA, regarding women’s hair. I tried to google the illustrated pages in question, but I couldn’t find them and it’s way past my bedtime, so screw it.

    I’m not talking basic stuff, like “long hair is the glory of a woman”. No, I mean a creepy amount of detail. It should be styled this particular way, be this particular length, etc., etc.

    It was one of those moments when Gothard was finally caught sexually abusing teenage girls, I looked back and thought… “Oh. Yeah. Seems really freaking obvious now.” He was so obsessed with the women in his cult looking just the way he liked them.

    So yeah. Seeing non-conforming hairstyles as a sign of ungodliness is a totes real thing.

    Story Time Over!

    • A loiterer
      A loiterer
      June 20, 2016 at 7:16 am | #

      http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/02/25/these-are-north-koreas-28-state-approved-hairstyles/ ?

      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/iran/7873621/Iran-government-issues-style-guide-for-mens-hair.html because “Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes” and https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/may/05/iran-bans-devil-worshipping-homosexual-hairstyles

      Oh, wait. Wrong country. Sorry.

    • Falling Star
      Falling Star
      June 20, 2016 at 1:36 pm | #

      O_O

  116. trlkly
    trlkly
    June 20, 2016 at 5:44 am | #

    Okay, so I guess I guess I have to give up on this church being small-ish. I’ve never heard of any church having a book store that isn’t near megachurch levels.

    On the plus side, this means people should be in less of a lockstep against them. On the down side, it means that this church is run the same way John runs his missions.

    • DSL
      DSL
      June 20, 2016 at 6:29 am | #

      General rule of thumb: The more ostentatiously “welcoming” and “inclusive” a church tries to appear (big building, youth pastor, guitars at the service-in-the-round, web site and all that — the more unimaginatively and simplisticly judgmental its members are — often beyond the wildest dreams of the church “elders”. We get you in, we take your mind.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      June 20, 2016 at 7:11 am | #

      I think that you might be misunderstanding. Not ‘book store’ as in ‘retail establishment for selling books’, rather ‘book store’ as in ‘store room for books’. I doubt that it is much larger than a broom cupboard!

    • Cerberus
      Cerberus
      June 20, 2016 at 8:17 am | #

      I think this might be a megachurch.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        June 20, 2016 at 6:51 pm | #

        I question whether La Porte is big enough to have a megachurch.

    • Edward Starsmith
      Edward Starsmith
      June 20, 2016 at 8:54 am | #

      Many of the small churches I’ve experienced had some sort of “Library”, “Reading Room”, or “Book Store”. It’s often just a small collection of books kept in the office of the Minister.

      But yeah, Becky goes to a MegaChurch. It’s the only possibility.