Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 12, 2026

Catholic

by David M Willis on January 27, 2012 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - Choosing My Religion
└ Tags: agatha, dorothy, joyce, sierra

Discussion (437) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    January 27, 2012 at 12:01 am | #

    But… Joyce likes Twilight.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      January 27, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

      Maybe that’s a GOOD fantastic…?

      • wynne
        wynne
        January 27, 2012 at 1:04 am | #

        Doubt it. My roommate comes from a church a lot like Joyce’s, and she’s stated in no uncertain terms that “Mormonism is a cult, NOT Christianity.”

        • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
          DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
          January 27, 2012 at 1:51 am | #

          Ironic, considering Joyce and how she describes her upbringing is loaded with stereotypical Mormon mannerisms, the lack of polygamy being the one big exception.

          Honestly, she just might find an anti-polygamist sect of mormonism to be to her liking.

          • Gdragon
            Gdragon
            January 27, 2012 at 2:01 am | #

            You know Mormons no longer practice polygamy we have not for many years. those that do are not part of the main body of the church.

            • James Rye
              James Rye
              January 27, 2012 at 2:17 am | #

              So now there are Mormons and…uhm what do you call Mormons who practise polygamy but aren´t accepted as Mormons by the rest of the Mormon bmain body?

              To me it looks like Christanity has more groups than any other religion in the world. XD

              • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
                Zanosuke_Kurosaki
                January 27, 2012 at 2:27 am | #

                Those are called “Fundamentalist Mormons”. We’re honestly kinda ashamed of them, because you just know the second they get arrested for their polygamy(and their treatment of their wives, in several cases), it’s it’s every single “flavor” of the LDS church that gets tarred with the “OMG, look at these horrible Mormons!” brush. Also, hi Gdragon! 🙂

                • gangler
                  gangler
                  January 27, 2012 at 2:41 am | #

                  I don’t know why they decided that the Twelfth article of faith was such a terrible idea. What kind of organization says no to lawfulness?

                • Kernanator
                  Kernanator
                  January 27, 2012 at 2:52 am | #

                  Ah, so it’s kind of like having that one family member that nobody likes to talk about and makes the whole family look bad?

                • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
                  Zanosuke_Kurosaki
                  January 27, 2012 at 3:11 am | #

                  @Kernanator: Kind of, in a round-about “we’re alike in that we came from the same roots” way, but as gangler’s noting, very much not in the “the LDS church has an Article of Faith* that basically says, ‘thou shalt follow the laws of thy land and be a good citizen’ “(abridged version I think you could call my summary.) It’s why there’s, as Eddie Izzard noted, a bit of a “crowbar separation, there.” Polygamists? Yeah, definitely not us. *wince*

                • Kat
                  Kat
                  January 27, 2012 at 4:06 am | #

                  It’s like Muslims. There are regular Muslims, and there are the ones who want to suicide bomb all the American’s. They are few and far between, but they make all the Muslim’s look bad.

                • WheresRocket
                  WheresRocket
                  January 27, 2012 at 9:24 am | #

                  It’s also like Christians in general. The regular ones, and the ones who bomb Planned Parenthood and assassinate doctors while they sit in church.

                • Tara
                  Tara
                  January 27, 2012 at 9:41 am | #

                  I think the whole “Funding-Proposition-H8” thing is a better reason to say “OMG, look at those horrible Mormons.”

                • begbert2
                  begbert2
                  January 27, 2012 at 3:24 pm | #

                  Polygamy was NEVER legal in any part of the united states. The early mormons were as lawless originally as any of their spinoffs are today – possibly moreso. So even though most mormons today are basically lawful, criticism by them of other polygamous spinoff religions for lawlessness still sound hypocritical and/or woefully ignorant to me.

                • Slicey
                  Slicey
                  January 28, 2012 at 2:38 pm | #

                  Actually Polygamy had an important function. the chrch and its ideals tended to attract women and since it start in a time when women not only where not considered a people able to make their own decisions but where barely considered people to allow the new members of the church the right to move they had to be married. And there where more women than men. So they allowed men to have more than 1 wife so he women could travel. Then the land they settled in wasn’t a part of the united states and was a lawless territory meaning their laws where the laws of man. Once they became and important part of intercontental trade and after it was no longer needed to help women settle with the church they dropped it to accept the laws of the country they knew they where going to a part of. Some people didnt want o leave second wives as single mother so didnt seperate from them and in most cases relocated them help populate other fledgling states like arizona.
                  Thus while it is not legal and is not allowed by the church polygamy was an important part of american and church history.

                • begbert2
                  begbert2
                  October 17, 2014 at 3:32 am | #

                  Years-belated note: Most of Slicey’s post is misinformation. (Albeit misinformation that is widely spread in the mormon church, and Slicey was no doubt repeating it innocently.)

                  1) Censuses show that there were always more men than women in the mormon church, during the times polygamy was practiced. This left young women struggling to get a single wife, while church leaders would accumulate several.
                  2) I know of nothing indicating that women were not allowed to travel on their own, particularly as part of a wagon train. Not that there were surplus women anyway.
                  3) All land the mormons traveled in was claimed by Mexico at the time of their arrival, and only one year later was won by the US in the Mexican War. In both countries polygamy was illegal. There has never been a time when polygamous mormons weren’t breaking the law of the country they resided in.
                  4) Mormons (well, mormon leaders) clung to polygamy with a vicelike grip. It was still official practice over thirty years after the government started cracking down.

                  These facts can be independently verified. This is all I wanted to say.

                • Kereth Midknight
                  Kereth Midknight
                  March 5, 2015 at 7:23 am | #

                  @begbert2
                  Checked, and at least one major area of your facts needs updating:

                  Polygamy wasn’t universally forbidden in the United Status until the Morill Anti-Bigamy act of 1862, long after it began to be practiced among Latter-Day Saints (LDS here to distinguish from the smaller RLDS and FLDS sects). Once the law was instituted, LDS leaders challenged it in the courts on the grounds that it was a violation of religious freedom, a process which took decades. Once the Supreme Court finally ruled to uphold the act, the church abandoned the practice in 1890. Despite aggressive enforcement attempts by federal marshals and so forth, the “outlaw” claim doesn’t really characterize LDS activity on the question of polygamy.

              • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
                DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
                January 27, 2012 at 2:14 pm | #

                Either that, or we’re just the most observed case of this, mostly compliments of the United States.

                Having the option of balkanizing our faith of one of the general reasons people of the 13 colonies followed the Founding Fathers’ whole independence venture in the first place.

                The People are a heavily multiplied “Me” and
                anyone who tells you different is either a fool who didn’t learn from history and is damned to repeat it, or someone who DID learn from history and plans to cash in on what they learned using their fool counterparts for that very purpose.

              • Beloggy
                Beloggy
                January 28, 2012 at 10:14 am | #

                I call them the crazy people who live in the hills. . . .

            • Roary
              Roary
              January 27, 2012 at 4:29 am | #

              They also no longer believe that being black means you have no soul. It’s good when a religion can adapt to acceptable behavioral patterns. Now how long do you think it will be before the ginger issue gets resolved? :-p

              • Mikehatesyou
                Mikehatesyou
                February 14, 2012 at 8:26 am | #

                Gingers are just leprechauns that never stopped growing.

              • KingofKings
                KingofKings
                December 1, 2012 at 1:39 am | #

                It could be argued that they never really did. The whole anti-black thing sort of came in from the side. There were some very well respected black men in the early church, and their line persisted for a while outside of peoples racism that game in later.

            • Crumplepunch
              Crumplepunch
              January 27, 2012 at 7:30 am | #

              It’s true, Mormons decided to no longer believe in Joseph Smith’s 1843 revelation. This happened shortly after the passing of the Edmunds-Tucker act, which would have allowed the seizure of church property if their leaders practiced polygamy.

              They also started admitting black people to the priesthood in 1978, thanks to a timely revelation just a few years before the Supreme Court started revoking tax-exempt status for discrimination under the Civil Rights Act.

              • Chibi Squirt
                Chibi Squirt
                January 27, 2012 at 1:56 pm | #

                Wait, that precedent exists? So why does Catholicism get away with it?

                • Crumplepunch
                  Crumplepunch
                  January 27, 2012 at 3:12 pm | #

                  Bob Jones University lost it’s tax exempt status in a SC case against it’s admissions policy, 1983, I believe.

                  Catholics were rather ahead of the game in this case; Pope Paul VI repudiated the church’s official dogma of Deicide in 1964.

              • KingofKings
                KingofKings
                December 1, 2012 at 1:42 am | #

                There were actually black priesthood holders before that too. There was an entire line of priesthood holders who were black who had received the priesthood from Joseph Smith, who continued to give the priesthood to their descendants and be in good church standing, in spite of general policy of the time.

                As far as polygamy, anyone who’s read the Book of Mormon should know that it was never supposed to be a permanent thing anyways.

            • Katie
              Katie
              January 27, 2012 at 11:19 pm | #

              I’m so glad to see another Mormon in the comments. I was honestly afraid that I’d be the only one and have to fend off a bunch of negative comments and opinions.

              • Wanderer
                Wanderer
                January 28, 2012 at 1:10 am | #

                Well. It seems there’s enough of us on the internet that we run into each other on occasion.

            • cobra5k
              cobra5k
              January 29, 2012 at 9:15 pm | #

              wink wink*nudge nudge.

          • lawzlo
            lawzlo
            January 27, 2012 at 3:44 am | #

            Her mannerisms may be largely similar to Mormon manners, but I think that probably her biggest issue with Mormonism would simply be the Book of Mormon, which she would undoubtedly consider heretical (or at least apocryphal).

            Either way, I look forward to Joyce doing some growing emotionally.

            (By the way, I’m not commenting on the polygamy thing, because it looks like Zanosuke Kurosaki pretty much has that covered.)

            • lawzlo
              lawzlo
              January 27, 2012 at 3:48 am | #

              Oops, I meant Zanosuke Kurosaki and Gdragon. I didn’t initially notice that they were different posters because they both have Joevatars.

              • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
                Zanosuke_Kurosaki
                January 27, 2012 at 2:00 pm | #

                That, and the fact that Joe’s expression has comically undermined my point quite a bit lately, are inspiring me to make my own. XD

          • All American Nightmare
            All American Nightmare
            April 30, 2012 at 11:29 pm | #

            okay just to clear this up. We do not practice polygamy, we are not a cult, we are Christians and we are normal people. We believe that all other churches such as the catholic church, Lutherinism, Bhudism, Shintoism, and all other religions are good and that we simply have more revelation to add. For more info visit lds.org

          • Brayden
            Brayden
            September 21, 2015 at 7:41 am | #

            That’s actually inaccurate.

          • Brayden
            Brayden
            September 21, 2015 at 9:09 am | #

            The main sect of mormonism is anti-polygamous.

        • The Precious Thing
          The Precious Thing
          January 27, 2012 at 4:46 am | #

          It’s a good thing for Joyce, because in her eyes, that’s one more lost soul she can “save”.

        • John Harmon
          John Harmon
          January 27, 2012 at 9:50 am | #

          Which is hilarious, considering that any religion is a cult.

          • Josh Spicer
            Josh Spicer
            January 27, 2012 at 1:36 pm | #

            True point is true, however debatable of a topic people try and make it.

          • Fraser
            Fraser
            January 27, 2012 at 11:06 pm | #

            IGNORANT POINT IS IGNORANT!!!!!

            At least in the academic sense. Silly Americans and their colloquially defined debasement of english.

            • Colleen
              Colleen
              January 29, 2012 at 4:53 am | #

              Languages tend to change when groups move around.
              The process which created the American dialect is the
              same process which created all the Latin based languages
              in Europe. New people were met, notes were exchanged,
              and everyone walked away from the encounter a little
              different. That’s saying nothing of the culture affecting
              language vs. the language affecting culture debate.
              Thus it is no fairer to call American English a
              “debasement” of the original English (which itself has
              changed drastically over the years anyway) than it would
              be to call French or Italian a “debasement” of Latin.

              That being said, “cult” and “religion” are indeed different
              terms, intended to mean different things, and with
              different implications.

              • Colleen
                Colleen
                January 29, 2012 at 4:55 am | #

                Also, my apologies for the odd format, this is my first time commenting on here and the text box is behaving strangely.

        • PeterW
          PeterW
          March 22, 2014 at 3:13 pm | #

          I’d say Mormonism is too mainstream to be considered a cult, but it’s not much more Christian than Islam is.

  2. Malana
    Malana
    January 27, 2012 at 12:01 am | #

    Bless her, she IS trying.

    • alicemacher
      alicemacher
      January 27, 2012 at 12:13 am | #

      She really is. “I – will – be – accepting – if – it – KILLS – me.” Poor girl.

      • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
        Zanosuke_Kurosaki
        January 27, 2012 at 1:05 am | #

        Perhaps it is best that I can’t meet this Joyce at this point then. I think the presence of two “Mormons” would make her poor little head go boom. :'(

        • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
          Zanosuke_Kurosaki
          January 27, 2012 at 1:06 am | #

          … DAMMIT, JOE GRAVATAR, you undermine so many of my points lately without even trying! XD

          • a99steaksauce
            a99steaksauce
            January 27, 2012 at 1:39 am | #

            haha cock joke

            • invisiblemoose
              invisiblemoose
              January 27, 2012 at 4:20 am | #

              Something something femurs FAAACE whatever

            • Tenn
              Tenn
              January 27, 2012 at 4:21 pm | #

              The Drunk Mike avatar makes it eleventy times betterer.

              Oh, and um… Mom. Nickel. Blah.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            January 27, 2012 at 1:43 am | #

            Me thinks that you should start up a gravatar accound and create your own gravs for better results.

            • Osaru Sensei
              Osaru Sensei
              January 27, 2012 at 3:59 am | #

              Like mine and Mongoose’s.

              • Vabolo
                Vabolo
                January 27, 2012 at 7:12 am | #

                But not mine. It frightens children and puppies.

                • Kernanator
                  Kernanator
                  January 27, 2012 at 12:12 pm | #

                  And makes adults start looking for a white van with candy.

                • Blob Marley
                  Blob Marley
                  January 27, 2012 at 1:30 pm | #

                  Kernanator, have I been reading your name wrong since forever? I could have sworn that was an ‘m’ in your name…

                • MacDiver
                  MacDiver
                  January 27, 2012 at 11:34 pm | #

                  @ Blob Marley
                  And now I can’t stop thinking about Kermit the Frog riding up on a motorcycle, wearing sunglasses, and saying “COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE.”

    • Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
      Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
      January 27, 2012 at 12:18 am | #

      We really do try. I also got that cringing feeling when Agatha said that.

    • BlueNight
      BlueNight
      January 27, 2012 at 12:36 am | #

      THAT is what it looks like when the mind has a blowout.

      (I’d probably react the same way: stunned surprise, badly covered.)

  3. Khantalas
    Khantalas
    January 27, 2012 at 12:02 am | #

    Oh no! This is too much religious variety for Joyce to handle!

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      January 27, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

      No it’s not the variety. Moromism is a more complex stubject.

      • MontyPla
        MontyPla
        January 27, 2012 at 12:09 am | #

        And the plot of a bad sci-fi movie.

        • Mkvenner
          Mkvenner
          January 27, 2012 at 12:14 am | #

          Please elucidate.

          • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
            Zanosuke_Kurosaki
            January 27, 2012 at 1:07 am | #

            Someone is confusing the Latter-Day Saints with Scientology. There’s your clearing up on that matter.

            • f.p.
              f.p.
              January 27, 2012 at 1:25 am | #

              It was the plot of a great episode of South Park though.

            • espanolbot
              espanolbot
              January 27, 2012 at 4:08 am | #

              Great musical though.

          • gatocello
            gatocello
            January 27, 2012 at 6:59 am | #

            Battlestar Galactica.

          • MontyPla
            MontyPla
            January 27, 2012 at 4:04 pm | #

            Mormonism says Jesus, God, and Satan are aliens.

            • gangler
              gangler
              January 29, 2012 at 2:43 am | #

              Bit of a stretch. I mean, I’m pretty sure most of Christianity is in agreement that God predates the cosmos, what having created it and all.

              But yes, there is a verse that names the planet he lives on.

        • Bek359
          Bek359
          January 27, 2012 at 12:17 am | #

          That’s Scientology you’re thinking of, if you’re thinking of Battlefield Earth.

          • MM
            MM
            January 27, 2012 at 1:09 am | #

            I dunno. I’m not too optimistic about the movie adaptation of Ender’s Game.

            • Andrusi
              Andrusi
              January 27, 2012 at 2:58 pm | #

              I’m not optimistic about it, either, but for a totally different reason.

          • abb3w
            abb3w
            January 27, 2012 at 1:11 am | #

            Actually, my impression is the Mormon church has a bit of that as well (what with the “everyone gets their own planet” bit); it’s just the SF is more of the tone of the Verne era… which makes sense.

          • Joraiem
            Joraiem
            January 27, 2012 at 7:16 am | #

            Did Battlefield Earth have anything to do with Scientology?

            I mean, aside from them both being sci-fi and being made up by the same guy. And being terrible.

            • Crumplepunch
              Crumplepunch
              January 27, 2012 at 7:42 am | #

              The production of the film had some ties to the church, not least the involvement of Travolta. I understand some of the “profits” went to Scientology backed groups. They also backed the film with marketing, not that it did much good.

      • Khantalas
        Khantalas
        January 27, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

        I realize that. I’m just not sure Joyce does.

      • Kaylee
        Kaylee
        January 27, 2012 at 1:28 am | #

        And the plot of an early Sherlock Holmes story?

        • sun tzu
          sun tzu
          January 27, 2012 at 3:56 am | #

          Ironic that A.C.Doyle got slammed for his anti-KKK story, but not for his anti-Mormonism story.

  4. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    January 27, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

    I am not touching that with a ten foot pole, a ten and a half foot pole , nor an eleven foot pole.

    • billygoatofdoom
      billygoatofdoom
      January 27, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

      Here is your eleven foot, one inch pole.

    • Anonymous
      Anonymous
      January 27, 2012 at 12:25 am | #

      How about a 39-and-a-half foot pole?

      • mechaqua
        mechaqua
        January 27, 2012 at 1:04 am | #

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzXKWKaxt3c

  5. gangler
    gangler
    January 27, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

    SQUEEEEEE!

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      January 27, 2012 at 12:25 am | #

      ?

      • mechaqua
        mechaqua
        January 27, 2012 at 1:02 am | #

        Have you Never seen “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” AND NOT THAT JIM CAREY ABOMINATION, what am referring to is thew Classic Dr. Seuss tale

        • mechaqua
          mechaqua
          January 27, 2012 at 1:05 am | #

          umm my bad apparently i misinterpreted the alignment of the avatars

  6. OhHayMike
    OhHayMike
    January 27, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

    MORMON?? Joyce, get the f@#% away from her, posthaste.

    F@$#in’ Mormons…

    • OhHayMike
      OhHayMike
      January 27, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

      And SHE’S the one who’s been my icon for the past however long. I feel sullied.

      • Thor
        Thor
        January 27, 2012 at 12:05 am | #

        That’s mighty tolerant of you.

        • MichaelHaneline
          MichaelHaneline
          January 28, 2012 at 3:30 am | #

          Are you sure OhHayMike’s not being facetious?

          • OhHayMike
            OhHayMike
            January 28, 2012 at 5:44 pm | #

            I though he was, but the buttload of comments below suggest otherwise.

      • KresyAntics
        KresyAntics
        January 27, 2012 at 12:24 am | #

        points at the Get a Gravatar next to NAME —->

        just trying to help 😀 :sarcasm:

      • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
        Zanosuke_Kurosaki
        January 27, 2012 at 1:09 am | #

        How do you think -she- feels? 😛 *”Mormon” here, tyvm*

      • PedanticJerkass
        PedanticJerkass
        January 28, 2012 at 12:27 am | #

        And I’m sure she’s just as disgusted to be your gravatar as well.

    • Mr Sitouh
      Mr Sitouh
      January 27, 2012 at 12:05 am | #

      Something wrong with Mormons?

      • Mkvenner
        Mkvenner
        January 27, 2012 at 12:26 am | #

        Where to start….

        • Dani
          Dani
          January 27, 2012 at 12:58 am | #

          Wait, weren’t you the one throwing a fit yesterday over intolerance towards Catholics?

        • a99steaksauce
          a99steaksauce
          January 27, 2012 at 2:16 am | #

          Their generally kinder than your garden variety catholic?

          • a99steaksauce
            a99steaksauce
            January 27, 2012 at 2:19 am | #

            not trying to say catholics are mean but mormons can be reeeeeaaly nice and alot more often.

            • Tara
              Tara
              January 27, 2012 at 9:45 am | #

              Unless you live in California, are gay, and enjoyed your civil rights while they lasted.

              • AlmightyAtheismo
                AlmightyAtheismo
                January 27, 2012 at 6:13 pm | #

                The number of lies thrown around on the airwaves around here about prop 8, funded by the LDS church, was incredibly sickening and upsetting.

    • Jetstream
      Jetstream
      January 27, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

      Hey! Mormons are awesome. Their faith might confuse the shit out of me but they are, as a general rule, some of the most polite people you’ll ever meet.

      The general rank and file anyway. Fuck the leaders, but then I rarely appreciate the leader of ANY religious group.

      • brasca1
        brasca1
        January 27, 2012 at 12:25 am | #

        The thing is they aren’t really all that different than devout Protestants or Baptists, but once again when the details and particulars of one faith come up and certain people can’t accept even the smallest deviation you get conflict.

        • Mkvenner
          Mkvenner
          January 27, 2012 at 12:28 am | #

          Except Moromonism is GIGANTIC deviation.

          • Bickendan
            Bickendan
            January 27, 2012 at 12:32 am | #

            So? Does it affect your life?

            • Mkvenner
              Mkvenner
              January 27, 2012 at 12:33 am | #

              No. Unless they are try to convert me.

              • Eposi
                Eposi
                January 27, 2012 at 12:13 pm | #

                Ah recruiters, I’m kinda the reason why the Mormon and Jehovah stopped coming to my building. not do to complaint or lawsuit but due to the fact that they woke me up and the only thing I was wearing was my pentacle pendant. I did that unintentionally by the way, I’m not a moring person what ever hour it is.

                • Eposi
                  Eposi
                  January 27, 2012 at 12:23 pm | #

                  morning, not moring

                • Roborat
                  Roborat
                  January 27, 2012 at 2:30 pm | #

                  You are lucky, as a child, we lived on the same block as a Jehovahs church. We constantly got their trainees practicing on us.

                • AlmightyAtheismo
                  AlmightyAtheismo
                  January 27, 2012 at 6:16 pm | #

                  I had a couple of Mormon’s on their mission, originally from Utah, move in next door to me when I was a kid. They were really nice and brought us cookies. After my dad told them he didn’t want to talk about religion, they never showed up again.

                • thomas0comer
                  thomas0comer
                  January 28, 2012 at 11:01 pm | #

                  The dead kittens hung on the doorstep tend to scare all of mine off.

            • a99steaksauce
              a99steaksauce
              January 27, 2012 at 12:34 am | #

              It could if you were born into a mormon family?

            • Filthy Pazuzu
              Filthy Pazuzu
              January 27, 2012 at 1:32 am | #

              No it doesn’t affect me, because I’m not in California.

              But if you want to marry someone of the same sex in California, you can’t, largely with the help of the Mormon Church which spent millions of dollars to get Prop 8 passed, and had thousands of Mormons volunteering their time to support the ballot initiative.

              I generally don’t have a problem with Mormons individually. Most I’ve met have been polite and friendly, even knowing everything about me. I respect that and appreciate it.

              But the leaders of that Church are loathsome creatures, and there’s enough Mormons who hate homosexuals that with their money and support they were able to get California to vote against the LGBT community.

              • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
                Zanosuke_Kurosaki
                January 27, 2012 at 2:30 am | #

                Interesting thing, by the way. Members of the LDS church are very strongly counseled that if they’re going to get involved in politics, do *NOT* go into it saying they “have the full backing of the church”, or anything that remotely comes close to it. So any time you see the name “Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints” on any sort of list supporting some political cause or another, it’s not there because of the leadership. It’s there *because* some individual is an arrogant toerag that completely ignores what someone else told them. =\

                • CP
                  CP
                  January 27, 2012 at 3:07 am | #

                  Prop 8 WAS an exception to that, though. It’s true that the church as whole never endorses a political candidate, but it does move for particular policy issues, and it absolutely did so for Prop 8, in a very public way.

                  The thing is that it was never about prejudice against LGBTs, at least not originally. It was very simply about the fact that heterosexual marriage is an important doctrinal point that the church wasn’t willing to give up. Sometimes a culture war is inevitable, when it comes to politics.

                • Filthy Pazuzu
                  Filthy Pazuzu
                  January 28, 2012 at 2:08 am | #

                  As CP says, the movement against Cali’s Prop 8 was, without a doubt, sponsored and led by church leadership.

                  “Along with evangelical Christian groups such as Focus on the Family and Family Research Council, the leaders of Roman Catholic, Mormon, Southern Baptist, Orthodox Jewish and Seventh-Day Adventist congregations have endorsed the measure and urged the faithful to give.”
                  http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-09-24-1821135519_x.htm

                  “Three church leaders spoke in a satellite broadcast last night about the need for California Mormons to get involved. Elder Quinton L. Cook, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, says the church feels obligated to defend traditional marriage.”
                  http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=4479655

                  Contributions from the Mormon church amounted from 33% to 40% of the total amount donated in support of Proposition 8.

                  The Church of Latter-Day Saints spent millions of dollars and encouraged thousands of members to volunteer their time in order to amend California’s constitution to make it illegal for same-sex couples to get married.

                  I won’t even bother getting into the ties between LDS and the National Organization for Marriage.

              • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
                DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
                January 29, 2012 at 12:59 am | #

                California isn’t exactly a full Blue State either, so the mistake at issue here is that they weren’t mainstream/”normal” enough a homophobic group like the 60-67% of the rest of the Prop. 8 supporters, yes?

            • Baroncognito
              Baroncognito
              January 27, 2012 at 2:01 am | #

              You’d be surprised how much money the Mormon Church gives to the boy scouts of america. That money amounts to influence, and it’s a large reason that the Boy Scouts absolutely will not accept openly gay or atheist scouts.

              Compare that to the girl scouts.

              • S.Yeske
                S.Yeske
                January 27, 2012 at 5:26 am | #

                So the Morg doesn’t donate to the Girl Scouts?
                How chauvinist is that?

                SO glad I’m out. 🙂 Happy Pagan me would probably make Joyce blow a fuse in her brain too.

                • gangler
                  gangler
                  January 27, 2012 at 5:41 am | #

                  It legitimately astounds me that the church has any women at all.

                  Then again my dad grew up thinking he wouldn’t be allowed to hold the priesthood because of the color of his skin. Who even knows what goes through the head of someone joining a church where they’ll pretty much be a second-class citizen.

              • Luke
                Luke
                January 27, 2012 at 9:03 am | #

                The Boy Scouts doesn’t accept gays or atheists? Odd… I’m a Boy Scout, and an atheist, and I have several gay dudes in my troop. Is my Scoutmaster breaking Scout Law?

                • Stevarious
                  Stevarious
                  January 27, 2012 at 10:34 am | #

                  In a word? Yes. Gays and atheists are not allowed to hold any position of authority in BSA, and they are not allowed to be members of the troop. If BSA finds out that your troop has been doing these things, they will give you one warning to boot them all, and if it isn’t followed immediately, they will take away your troop’s charter.

                  The major irony here being, of course, that Robert Baden Powell, the founder, was almost definitely a closeted homosexual.

                • Fraser
                  Fraser
                  January 27, 2012 at 11:42 pm | #

                  Scouts Canada recieved more complaints when it started to admit women then when it started to openly admit homosexuals.

                  Honestly, I concur. Men should start helping themselves by studying being male the way feminism helps women understand what being female means to them. Scouts and Guides are really great outlets for that.

                  A longer term guider (20 years) told me she would accept only boys who identified as female gender.

                • Filthy Pazuzu
                  Filthy Pazuzu
                  January 28, 2012 at 2:16 am | #

                  Sad, but true. My brother had to to teach his son, my nephew, to lie about our family’s atheism in order for him to join the scouts so he could hang out with his friends. Another boy had already been kicked out because the scoutmaster found out his parents were atheists.

                  Way, way, back in the day, the boy scouts were about friendship, teamwork, and honor. In recent years fundamentalists have taken over the scouts, and now scouts & troop leaders can be banished for not believing the right things.

                  I mean, c’mon. 8 year-olds don’t really understand religion, but they’re being punished because their parents don’t belong to the right religion – or any religion.

                • Mkvenner
                  Mkvenner
                  January 30, 2012 at 11:48 pm | #

                  I think it’s more of a don’t ask, don’t tell and don’t say anything to the press kind of thing.

          • nitpicker
            nitpicker
            January 27, 2012 at 12:38 am | #

            Weren’t you angry at Joyce for insulting Catholics in the previous strip? And now you’re talking down about Mormons?

            Tsk tsk.

            • Mkvenner
              Mkvenner
              January 27, 2012 at 12:42 am | #

              What are you a robot?

              • a99steaksauce
                a99steaksauce
                January 27, 2012 at 1:43 am | #

                No, but I might.

              • HiEv
                HiEv
                January 27, 2012 at 12:12 pm | #

                Do you have something against robots too?!?!

                • Jetstream
                  Jetstream
                  January 27, 2012 at 11:52 pm | #

                  Yes. You have no souls.

                • thomas0comer
                  thomas0comer
                  January 28, 2012 at 11:05 pm | #

                  @Jetstream
                  No, but we can imitate them to within 99.9982% of precision

                • Mkvenner
                  Mkvenner
                  January 30, 2012 at 11:49 pm | #

                  No unless they are trying to kill me.

          • Trae Dorn
            Trae Dorn
            January 27, 2012 at 12:44 am | #

            Y’know what? I’ve read up a lot about Mormonism and “normal” Christianity over the years…

            …and y’know what? As an outsider to all of it, there isn’t much of a difference. It’s more divergent than any other sect canonically, sure – but y’all are basically worshipping the same dietie(s)

            • Mkvenner
              Mkvenner
              January 27, 2012 at 12:55 am | #

              *Sigh* Yes that is true but it hasn’t stoped Christian denomination from killing each other.

            • alex
              alex
              January 27, 2012 at 2:42 am | #

              ya, we’re all worshiping the same deity.
              with schizophrenia.

              that saying has always bugged the shit out of me, because when you look at how vastly different the teachings of any religious sect can be (regardless of how connected their roots are) it’s pretty hard to say it’s the same guy/girl/thing up there for all of us when what’s frowned upon in one group could very well be encouraged in another.

              ya, ya, i know it’s just a way to try and cut off religious debates, but it’s completely void when you’re even partially analytical on the matter.

              personally i try to be unbiased on the matter, despite some admittedly ignorant views on Christianity that i’m trying to get over.

              and i just realized i went into full-on rant mode…

            • Joraiem
              Joraiem
              January 27, 2012 at 7:30 am | #

              See, here’s the thing. Most forms of Christianity focus on texts recorded by people. So when a new text descends from the sky, completely unlike any other one we ever recieved, and no one has been allowed to see these amazing “golden tablets,” it gets people suspicious.

              There’s a reason the Bible relies mostly on eyewitness accounts. What’s more likely, that we’re worshipping the same deity, or that it was easier to start a cult by saying it’s the same as Christianity?

              Not to say it’s a cult NOW, but when it started? With everyone gathering up and moving away from the rest of civilization, doing everything their “prophet” said, and never seeing the magic tablets that started this whole thing?

              If their tenants are good now, that’s great, but they did have to get rid of a big deviancy they started with. Saying “they’re the same” doesn’t really work.

              • Trae Dorn
                Trae Dorn
                January 27, 2012 at 8:48 am | #

                See, this is the problem – you’re looking at it as an insider. All you see is the small list of differences…

                …and not the HUGE, MASSIVE list of similarities. 😛

                There’s are some massive differences between Sufi, Shia and Suni sects of Islam, but you’d probably never bother to paint them as different religions. Why? Because their core is basically the same.

                You may reject the differences that construct Mormonism in your own beliefs, but to consider them separate from Christianity is completely myopic.

                • Mkvenner
                  Mkvenner
                  January 30, 2012 at 11:52 pm | #

                  Would this be the same HUGE, MASSIVE list of similarities that applies to all religions?

              • gangler
                gangler
                January 27, 2012 at 8:58 am | #

                Well now you’re just getting into another barrel of worms entirely.

                I mean yeah, when a man tells you he talks to god directly, tells a story about a bunch of people discovering America with a guest appearance by Christ, and then follows that up with a request that you sign over all your property to him, quit your job, join his militia and live in his commune outside the laws of society, that certainly sounds like a cult.

                People were talking Christian Bale and you walked in with a statement about Adam West. So long as people are listing Batman as an antihero in the present tense his antics in the sixties don’t really make the statement stop working.

                • Mkvenner
                  Mkvenner
                  January 30, 2012 at 11:54 pm | #

                  A man with a reputation for telling tall tales.

                  A good book on the subject is “No Man Knows My History: The Life of Joseph Smith” by Fawn Mckay Brodie.

                • gangler
                  gangler
                  February 1, 2012 at 11:32 am | #

                  Are you now trying to inform me that a particular set of stories about the European god of the dark ages might be false? If so I have some equally valuable info for you. Why it turns out that the stories about the Norse Pantheon published by Marvel Comics never really happened at all. That Stan Lee tells some tall tales you know. I hear that’s not even his real name.

                  That rapscallion totally had me convinced that Thor wore an outfit eerily reminiscent of the Greek God Hermes and was a beardless natural blond. Can you believe it? Absurd. Why everybody knows that Thor had a fierce red beard when he walked through Middle Earth. It says so right in the Heimskringla. Certainly doesn’t make any mention of a brief detour to fight evil alongside a group of mortal warriors who called themselves The Avengers.

              • HiEv
                HiEv
                January 27, 2012 at 12:22 pm | #

                “the Bible relies mostly on eyewitness accounts”

                HUH?!?

                Genesis? Noah’s flood? Exodus? None of which actually happened. Even the gospels were written decades after the events they claim to describe, and they talk about things the authors couldn’t possibly have seen (the nativity, etc.).

                Hardly any of it is an eyewitness account, it’s mostly just stories, second (third, fourth…) hand information, and advice.

                Not really that different from Mormonism’s Book of Mormon.

                • Joraiem
                  Joraiem
                  January 27, 2012 at 11:07 pm | #

                  Considering you’re talking about… 6 books out of 66, and that at least 1 of them (Matthew) was based on eyewitness information, and Mark might have been mostly or completely taken from Peter’s knowledge (mark), I would say “MOSTLY” still stands. Stuff like the historical books, the prophetic books, and the books that compiled history as it went, like Deuteronomy (maybe. It seems to have been written over a long period of time, but there’s not exactly textual confirmation), all have eyewitness information. Then there’s the books that don’t really need eyewitness stuff, like… well, all of the Wisdom books.

                  Besides, when you’re arguing about what is and isn’t based off of eyewitness information, do you think saying “None of which actually happened” is helpful? Or has a point at all? You could easily say that the books were written long after they occured, which would be something unarguably true, instead of just your belief. Saying what you said is less of an argument and more just trying to be rude.

                  And, considering my real argument (that people wrote the Bible, and that’s important in Christianity, while the Book of Mormon fell out of the sky), yeah. It still is that different.

                • David
                  David M Willis
                  January 27, 2012 at 11:22 pm | #

                  Matthew was not written from eye-witness information. Both it and Luke were written from Mark, and Mark was still written decades after Jesus had died.

                  There is also very little historical information in the Old Testament. You can basically throw out everything earlier than King Josiah. There was never a united kingdom of both Judah and Israel. Never existed. King David and King Solomon never presided over a huge empire. They were at most chieftans of a tiny backwater city-state called Jerusalem, living entirely in the shadow of the larger nation to the north, a territory King Josiah envied. Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Methuselah, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Joseph, Moses, Samuel… these were all tall tales, stories passed down through the ages like Paul Bunyan, and eventually twisted into a nationalist narrative for King Josiah’s political gain.

                  Believing in it is roughly the same as believing that a lost tribe of Israelites became the Native Americans and Jesus visited them. Neither occurred. Both are falsehoods which can be disproven with archeological evidence.

                  (Or, if you will, require the same amount of faith and suspension of disbelief.)

                • Jetstream
                  Jetstream
                  January 27, 2012 at 11:54 pm | #

                  You left out the fact that there is zero historical evidence that the Jews were ever enslaved by Egypt, Willis 😀

                  You’d think SOME Pharaoh somewhere would have written down the time when they lost a few hundred thousand worker bees, ‘eh?

                • David
                  David M Willis
                  January 27, 2012 at 11:59 pm | #

                  I figgered that was a given when I mentioned Moses in the list of legend-like figures. And, yeah, at the time of the Exodus, Egypt actually owned all of Canaan. There wasn’t a free Canaan for the Israelites to escape to and conquer without the Egyptians, y’know, caring very much. The Hebrews were always in Canaan, and slowly became a cohesive people over time. And along the way they made up some emasculating stories about Egypt to kick a declining empire while it was down.

                • Filthy Pazuzu
                  Filthy Pazuzu
                  January 28, 2012 at 3:12 am | #

                  Believing the books of the bible are “mostly” based on eyewitness accounts is just as silly as believing some deity planted dinosaur fossils or manipulated carbon atoms to “test your faith”.

                  Also, all of the differing sects of Islam have only one Qur’an, like all of the differing sects of Christianity have only one bible. Mormons have an entire book – that none of the other Christian sects have – which includes guest appearances by Jesus, some angels, and says Native Americans were cursed by god.

                • Joraiem
                  Joraiem
                  January 28, 2012 at 11:21 am | #

                  Yes, Matthew was written after Mark. But it has 230 verses in common with Luke, both of which were written approximately around the same time, and Luke noted in his gospel that he ran around doing all the research he could. Considering how unlikely it is that Matthew and Luke met each other, and how much they have in common with each other that isn’t in Mark, it’s hard to say Matthew was just “based on” Mark.

                  Also, books like 1 and 2 Kings and Chronicles do cite some sources as court history. Plus, even going all the way up to Josiah’s reign (and I still think saying everything before was propaganda is taking a huge leap, since he was 8 when he became a king and only lived to be 39 – that’s not a whole lot of time to do all that considering how hard it was to make copies but whatever), that’s still only…11 books? Maybe 13? Considering that the prophetic texts talk about events going on while they were being written (though some, like Isaiah, were over a long period of time by different authors). Putting the 17 prophetic books together with at the very least, Esther (since it was taken from a text written by Mordecai), and tossing the Wisdom lit aside because it really doesn’t matter one way or the other – it has nothing to do with current events or history or whatever – I would say “mostly” does still fit, and that’s not even getting into the New Testament.

                  But I will, anyway. Hebrews is the only one of Paul’s letters that seems to be mostly agreed that it was not actually written by Paul. But then, it’s anonymous, so I’m kind of confused as to why anyone thought he wrote it regardless. The others have a lot of evidence towards Paul writing them, and most disputes come up over new words or shifts in writing style. But considering he was traveling and seems to at least examine the culture around him when he visits, at least by looking at Acts, it’s possible that he learned as he went. Irenaeus, a scholar later on, did a lot of research while these texts were still “fresh,” has writings that are generally accepted as evidence for the authorship of Matthew, Mark, and most of Paul’s letters, excluding Hebrews.

                  Peter’s letters are also somewhat disputed, but, like most of Paul’s, also have a lot of other people backing them up. The John letters, while obviously not written by the disciple John, were more likely written by “John the Evangelist,” who was around for most of the church events he was writing about.

                  It seems like there are at least 23 books of the New Testament that at the very least have a fair amount of evidence supporting that they were around when the stuff they wrote about was happening. With the Old Testament books mentioned earlier, that’s 41 out of 66. I would say “mostly” still counts.

                  However, once again, EVERYONE ignored what I first said. The Book of Mormon supposedly came out of nowhere on magic golden plates, which no one saw aside from Joseph Smith. That’s entirely different from every Christian text, and so to say that Mormonism is the same thing as Christianity is ridiculous. Instead of focusing on the main idea of what I said, you took four words and turned them into a huge argument.

                  Also, completely off topic, is anyone else having issues with their text going outside of the box when they’re trying to type it? I can’t see half of the stuff I’m writing, so there may be spelling errors.

                • David
                  David M Willis
                  January 28, 2012 at 12:01 pm | #

                  Way more than Hebrews is widely considered inauthentic. A majority of scholars agree that both Timothys and Titus were forgeries. It’s also very likely Paul didn’t write Ephesians, Colossians, or 2 Thessalonians, for a number of very important reasons.

                  Peter couldn’t have written anything because there’s no way a fisherman would have been literate, much less literate in Greek.

                  And, no, there isn’t much difference between what Christians choose to believe and what Mormons choose to believe. Just because theirs is more recent doesn’t make it any more ridiculous. King Josiah pulled an entire fake history of a unified Israel out of some rubble, a history that had “prophesies” in it about how a “King Josiah” would be the greatest thing since King David, which is amazingly convenient. That’s not different at all from Joseph Smith finding golden tablets which only he can read. And the Gospels are full of things that people at the time would have known couldn’t have happened. A census that didn’t occur and according to rules given which would have made no logical sense. A killing of all the first-borne that nobody else recorded. These were all made up whole-cloth out of nothing, no different from a pair of golden plates.

                  The only difference is time. People were as incredulous about Christianity’s claims in its early days as people are about Mormons now, and for identical reasons. If you’re going to have faith that these things really did occur, you can’t look down your nose at other people for doing the exact same thing.

                • Mkvenner
                  Mkvenner
                  January 30, 2012 at 11:57 pm | #

                  Genesis and Noah’s Flood are most like based on stories for Ancient Mesopotamia that the Hebrew people pick up during their exile in Babylon.

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              January 27, 2012 at 2:33 pm | #

              True, however I find their (Mormon) bible waaaaaay funnier.

        • GJT
          GJT
          January 27, 2012 at 11:19 am | #

          See, personally, I haven’t got the slightest problem with Mormons. I have a problem with Mormonism, but only insomuch as If anyone tries to convince me of it, I will argue back. The only real problem I have with the religion over others is the rather huge, fundamental contradictions it has with the Bible, while claiming to believe the Bible.

          • Mkvenner
            Mkvenner
            January 30, 2012 at 11:58 pm | #

            I think most have the same oppinion (Myself incoulded).

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        January 27, 2012 at 12:31 am | #

        If it wasn’t for Mormons, we wouldn’t have South Park for a start.

        • a99steaksauce
          a99steaksauce
          January 27, 2012 at 12:35 am | #

          The creators are mormons? I had no idea. I love South Park. :[D

          • mechaqua
            mechaqua
            January 27, 2012 at 12:55 am | #

            Matt Stone was raised Jewish i believe he is an atheist or an agnostic though i am not a 100% sure i don’t know what religion trey Parker was raised i believe he may be catholic only because Stan Marsh is and he is supposed to be based on Trey Parker but i do know he was at least raised christian i don’t know which denomination

            • a99steaksauce
              a99steaksauce
              January 27, 2012 at 1:02 am | #

              Than why does plasma mongoose say such things?

              • Chupi
                Chupi
                January 27, 2012 at 1:07 am | #

                I may be wrong about this, but I believe it’s because their first big productions were comedies that satired Mormonism.

                • Plasma Mongoose
                  Plasma Mongoose
                  January 27, 2012 at 1:49 am | #

                  Someone told me that they were both former mormons and that’s why they use it as their punchline so often, I just never wikied it to be sure.

                • lawzlo
                  lawzlo
                  January 27, 2012 at 4:03 am | #

                  I though that while Trey Parker was not Mormon, he was raised in a town with a high Mormon populations, and grew up with a deep fondness for Mormons.

                  In spite of their jokes, I thought that they had a fairly positive attitude towards the LDS.

                • David
                  David M Willis
                  January 27, 2012 at 10:31 am | #

                  Matt Stone and Trey Parker are not Mormons, but they grew up with Mormon friends.

    • a99steaksauce
      a99steaksauce
      January 27, 2012 at 12:32 am | #

      Just because mormons leave a bad taste in your mouth is no reason for swearing.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        January 27, 2012 at 4:21 pm | #

        That’s why I gave up cannibalism long ago.

    • Katie
      Katie
      January 27, 2012 at 11:25 pm | #

      Hey! Try to have a little civility there, okay? There is no reason to insult us here as I doubt any of us Mormons on the board have done anything to you, much less met you. Take your hatred elsewhere please. We’re people too.

  7. TaZZerath
    TaZZerath
    January 27, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

    Joyce seems to have foot-in-Gods’-Mouth disease….

    • Kam
      Kam
      January 27, 2012 at 4:20 am | #

      Its the Joyce version of Butts Disease.

      • Kam
        Kam
        January 27, 2012 at 4:22 am | #

        who the #^@& heck is my gravatar?

        • petamas
          petamas
          January 27, 2012 at 8:04 am | #

          I think it’s Mary. (You know, the “naked at 2 pm” girl.)

    • Eposi
      Eposi
      January 27, 2012 at 12:18 pm | #

      Now they need a Baptist and a Rabbi.

  8. Mr Sitouh
    Mr Sitouh
    January 27, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    Oh, bravo Willis. That is a thing of beauty.

  9. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    January 27, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    My family is exactly like dorothy’s.

  10. Ragnal
    Ragnal
    January 27, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    I can just hear her teeth grining in that last panel.

  11. Locke
    Locke
    January 27, 2012 at 12:05 am | #

    If you want to see what happens when you mix Baptists and Mormons, try putting some Mentos in a bottle of Diet Coke.

    I mean, not all of them will be intolerant, but those who really take their faith seriously, hoo boy. It never seemed as bad at other churches I’ve attended, though.

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      January 27, 2012 at 12:10 am | #

      Just replace baptists with “the rest of Christianity”.

      • Steven
        Steven
        January 27, 2012 at 2:50 am | #

        or “the rest of humanity”

    • gangler
      gangler
      January 27, 2012 at 12:17 am | #

      Hoo Nelly! I swear you can ask any man over 21 in the ward about the Baptists and they will just immediately start launching into stories from their missionary years without skipping a beat. Nobody finishes a mission without getting a couple Baptist stories under their belt.

      • Mr Sitouh
        Mr Sitouh
        January 27, 2012 at 12:25 am | #

        My favorite was the 6-foot tall Australian who cast devils out of me, then condemned my soul to hell. I still wonder about the sequence of the two…

        • Mkvenner
          Mkvenner
          January 27, 2012 at 12:30 am | #

          I’m sorry but WHAT?

          • Mr Sitouh
            Mr Sitouh
            January 27, 2012 at 12:37 am | #

            I was a missionary in Hong Kong. One day this huge white dude comes walking up to my companion and I and asks if he can share a scripture with us, then immediately proceeds to read Galatians 1:9 and from there moves into an amazing rant, in which he cast devils out of me, condemned me to hell, and physically ripped a copy of the Book of Mormon from my hand and through it over a balcony before mall security came walking up and he took off.

            Apparently the guy also used to show up when new missionaries arrived and would walk near them on the path from the MTR to the government office where you got your HK ID card and spout invective.

            • Mr Sitouh
              Mr Sitouh
              January 27, 2012 at 12:37 am | #

              Gah, ‘threw’, not through. Darn typo.

            • Mkvenner
              Mkvenner
              January 27, 2012 at 12:40 am | #

              Ahhh.

            • a99steaksauce
              a99steaksauce
              January 27, 2012 at 1:48 am | #

              That is a very impressive story to say the least. And f**king halarious.

        • Kernanator
          Kernanator
          January 27, 2012 at 12:37 am | #

          Wow.

          I mean, what is the thought process that leads to that series of events?

    • Ryune
      Ryune
      January 27, 2012 at 12:22 am | #

      I dated a Mormon for two years, and have basically the same religion Joyce described yesterday. We broke up when he went on his mission, but during the time we dated, we had many very healthy, thought-provoking conversations/ attempts to convert each other, and for the larger part found strength and depth in our own faiths by being challenged by each other. The Mormon and the Baptist CAN be friends.

    • Kam
      Kam
      January 27, 2012 at 4:27 am | #

      I found that the more serious mormons tend to be pretty tolerant and humble, the intolerant ones tend to to be the vocal fringe.
      (I spent quite some time as a member of the church, and they were all lovely people.)

      • Katie
        Katie
        January 27, 2012 at 11:30 pm | #

        Thank you!

    • Pat
      Pat
      January 27, 2012 at 2:22 pm | #

      “Those who take their faith seriously” know that “be nice” is a rather large part of it.
      Those who take saying that they take their faith seriously seriously, though? Yeah, I could see that.

    • Katie
      Katie
      January 27, 2012 at 11:29 pm | #

      I’m Mormon and I dated a Baptist. I take my faith very seriously and so did he. I’ve actually never met another Mormon or Baptist who have hated the other. So….yeah. Generalizations and all there…..

  12. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    January 27, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

    Mormon?
    No thanks, I’m full.

    • Tucker
      Tucker
      January 27, 2012 at 12:42 am | #

      Mor-mon mor-mon!

      Best Pokemon ever.

      • mechaqua
        mechaqua
        January 27, 2012 at 1:07 am | #

        bet my lv100 Mewtwo can beat your Mor-mon

        • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
          Zanosuke_Kurosaki
          January 27, 2012 at 1:12 am | #

          Mor-mon used Sing!

          • Tucker
            Tucker
            January 27, 2012 at 4:20 am | #

            Mewtwo fell asleep!

            • mechaqua
              mechaqua
              January 27, 2012 at 12:51 pm | #

              trainer used awaken

              • Tucker
                Tucker
                January 27, 2012 at 1:00 pm | #

                Mor-mon used Sing

                • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
                  Zanosuke_Kurosaki
                  January 27, 2012 at 1:59 pm | #

                  Mewtwo fell asleep! Mor-mon used Nightmare! Mewto dreamed he was being forced to watch the Sound of Music endlessly!

                • Tucker
                  Tucker
                  January 27, 2012 at 2:05 pm | #

                  Mewtwo is fast asleep.

      • Andrusi
        Andrusi
        January 27, 2012 at 3:04 pm | #

        That’s Digimon‘s naming convention.

        • Shade
          Shade
          January 27, 2012 at 3:41 pm | #

          Exactly! It’s like they don’t know their fictional battling monsters.

          I am saddened by this.

        • gangler
          gangler
          January 27, 2012 at 5:05 pm | #

          Well sure, but there’s no rule saying a pokemon’s name can’t end in Mon. The big tell is that digimon can talk and evidently Mormon can only say its own name. Definitely a pokemon.

  13. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    January 27, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

    Better get some anti-grinding teeth guards Joyce.

  14. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    January 27, 2012 at 12:08 am | #

    Willis seems to be playing a new game. It’s called “How Much More Can I Do Until Joyce Snaps and Starts Murdering People”.

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      January 27, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

      Or he is toying with us.

      • a99steaksauce
        a99steaksauce
        January 27, 2012 at 1:50 am | #

        Its not toying with use per se as it is you just getting really pissy about mormonism for whatever reason. Most of the rest seem to dig just fine.

        • Katie
          Katie
          January 27, 2012 at 11:31 pm | #

          Have I mentioned how awesome you are, a99steaksauce?

          • a99steaksauce
            a99steaksauce
            January 30, 2012 at 12:41 am | #

            No, but thankyou and I kindly accept your complement.

    • Henry
      Henry
      January 27, 2012 at 12:27 am | #

      I give her one week before the bodies start piling up.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        January 27, 2012 at 12:34 am | #

        It will be a freakout of EPIC proportions. There will be many deaths and even more injuries. There will be a several day stand-off with the police. The SWAT team will get involved. And at the end of it all, everyone will puzzle over the possible meaning of her last words:

        “THE TOILET PAPER IS SUPPOSED TO GO UNDER, NOT OVER!!!!!”

      • Chibi Squirt
        Chibi Squirt
        January 27, 2012 at 12:39 am | #

        If it’s a week in DoA time, we’ve got about a year in real life.

  15. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    January 27, 2012 at 12:08 am | #

    If this happened a fe days ago (DoA time) Joyce’d mind would have broken instead of just stepford smiling.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      January 27, 2012 at 12:20 am | #

      As it is, her mind is barely hanging by a thread.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        January 27, 2012 at 12:32 am | #

        Joyce just isn’t ready for all that dang diversity yet.

        • Kernanator
          Kernanator
          January 27, 2012 at 2:57 am | #

          The sad part is, she really is trying her hardest.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            January 27, 2012 at 3:46 am | #

            Getting used to diversity is like climbing Mt Everest without oxygen tanks, it can be done, but it takes weeks and weeks of gradual acclimatization.

  16. MontyPla
    MontyPla
    January 27, 2012 at 12:10 am | #

    Ewwwwww Mormons.

    I blame them for Romney.

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      January 27, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

      They hava ALOT MORE to answer for than just Romney the Robot.

      • David
        David M Willis
        January 27, 2012 at 12:17 am | #

        I hear they believe in an invisible dude in the sky who judges people for their actions.

        • Jacob42
          Jacob42
          January 27, 2012 at 12:20 am | #

          How silly!

        • Mkvenner
          Mkvenner
          January 27, 2012 at 12:32 am | #

          That Mister Willis is just a tip of the iceberg.

        • Bickendan
          Bickendan
          January 27, 2012 at 12:34 am | #

          Beware the invisible gavel!
          :smartass:

        • Tucker
          Tucker
          January 27, 2012 at 12:44 am | #

          Where have I heard that one before….

        • Shade
          Shade
          January 27, 2012 at 3:43 pm | #

          Curious.

        • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
          DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
          January 29, 2012 at 2:20 am | #

          *sigh* ‘Tis true for FAR too many of us.

          Same goes for the bullcrap about that Hutt in a human-suit Pontius Pilate giving Jesus a fair trial, or being a paragon of Roman values in any way.

          Annnnd Jesus being a white guy with a light brown mullet of straight tresses,a petite nose, and unmarried.

          Don’t get me started on the Rapture, or the idea that the Torah and the Quran can’t possibly be pieces of the same puzzle the Bible’s part of.

          Taking the first few chapters of Genesis as literal and not parable is also a lot like trying to make sense of Neon Genesis Evangelion as a straight sci-fi and not an abstract one full of metaphors. It’s a good window toward self-inflicted confusion.

      • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
        Zanosuke_Kurosaki
        January 27, 2012 at 1:14 am | #

        Sorry, in the end, Romney will answer for Romney. We take no responsibility for whatever screw-ups he’s made (for example, that tax return he showed, where he paid less in taxes than he donated in his yearly tithing? I can imagine there are some church higher-ups giving him quite a bit of a verbal reaming for that one…)

        • S.Yeske
          S.Yeske
          January 27, 2012 at 5:33 am | #

          LOL. I sure wish I could tap into that phone call/be a bug on the wall at that meeting!
          He better watch out, he might get his temple recommend revoked!

          I mean, that was kind of a dumb move there.

    • Katie
      Katie
      January 27, 2012 at 11:32 pm | #

      Sigh.

  17. Henry
    Henry
    January 27, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

    And Joyce is dogpiled by IU’s diversity.

  18. Mister Gray
    Mister Gray
    January 27, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

    That smile says it all 🙂

  19. Aizat
    Aizat
    January 27, 2012 at 12:14 am | #

    Dat smile.

  20. ShadeTail
    ShadeTail
    January 27, 2012 at 12:15 am | #

    My mom hates mormons. A while before I was born, she was in the Peace Corp in Brazil, and the local mormon missionaries ended up offending most of the locals with their “how dare you call us racists!” style of racism. And then they falsely claimed to be affiliated with mom’s group, which got some of the locals pissed at *them* as well.

    Mom has never stopped holding that grudge. Can’t say I blame her, really.

    • gangler
      gangler
      January 27, 2012 at 12:27 am | #

      Yeah. Sending 19-year old boys to represent us around the globe was probably not our most brilliant idea.

    • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
      Zanosuke_Kurosaki
      January 27, 2012 at 2:36 am | #

      *facepalm* Yeaaaah… those two obviously should’ve had a lot more of an in-depth interview before they got sent out on their mission. They do a much more thorough job these days on making sure the people they’re sending out, aren’t utterly unprepared and incapable of dealing with everything not being white-bread. And of making dead certain that they know *not* to go making statements about who is affiliated with who. Sorry your mom ran across a couple of idiots, Shade. 🙁

      Also, hi gangler! *waves at fellow LDS?*

      • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
        Zanosuke_Kurosaki
        January 27, 2012 at 2:46 am | #

        Also, now that my brain has caught up with my fingers:
        I should say, not “who is affiliated with who”, but “making statements they are *NOT* qualified to make, such as who belongs to what.” There. now I’m accurate with what I meant.

      • gangler
        gangler
        January 27, 2012 at 3:06 am | #

        Hi! Raised in the church. Went to college instead of going on a mission. I’m sure you know the rest of that story XD

        I was surprised to see another member here. All together it looks like there’s three of us in the comments.

        • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
          Zanosuke_Kurosaki
          January 27, 2012 at 3:16 am | #

          I’m a convert, myself. Met a nice lady online, ended up getting curious when she told me she was LDS, and just ended up investigating myself. Been a member almost 10 years, now. And the irony of my investigating and joining were the rather… “choice” comments I recall making to someone about 3 years previous (I wasn’t very good at thinking for myself, but rather, just kind of blindly accepted what I was told, for a while there… >.>) Sure, I was a teenager, but I don’t think that’s too much of a reason or excuse. x.x

          Five of us, actually! Corvus and Mr. Sitouh are too, if I’m reading things rightly.

          • Katie
            Katie
            January 27, 2012 at 11:34 pm | #

            That makes 6 then with me!

            • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
              Zanosuke_Kurosaki
              January 28, 2012 at 4:01 am | #

              Well ahoy there, Katie! Nice to meet ya. 🙂

            • Otera
              Otera
              February 6, 2015 at 1:54 am | #

              seven. Convert here.

    • Chronos
      Chronos
      January 27, 2012 at 5:29 am | #

      I don’t think I’m familiar with the “How dare you call us racists” type of racism. Is that something like being racist and ignorantly thinking you aren’t? I don’t think I’m quite grasping the idea.

      • a99steaksauce
        a99steaksauce
        January 27, 2012 at 12:16 pm | #

        I think it’s like an ignorant or dickish version of racism. The jist of it is that your ignorantly or perposely racist and than whenever anyone calls you on it you say they are racist for saying your racist. Like thinking that because they say you are racist means that your entire race is racist or something like that. Thats my best way of describing it.

      • SpuriousDefenseInitiative
        SpuriousDefenseInitiative
        January 27, 2012 at 1:51 pm | #

        Here’s a common formula in U.S. politics.

        1) Make racially coded comments.
        Ex: “And so I’m prepared if the NAACP invites me, I’ll go to their convention and talk about why the African American community should demand paychecks and not be satisfied with food stamps,” sayeth the Newt. (I’m sorry, that’s not even coded…)

        2) Get called out on previous statement.
        Ex: “Can’t you see this is viewed at a minimum insulting to all Americans, but as particularly to African Americans?” asked by Juan Williams at GOP debate 1/16/2012.

        3) Respond with more code to the effect of, “No, you’re racist, I’m trying to help these people.”
        Ex: “I believe every American of every background has been endowed by their creator with the right to pursue happiness. And if that makes liberals unhappy, I’m going to continue to find ways to help poor people learn how to get a job, learn how to get a better job and learn some day to own the job.” Replied the reptile. I’m sorry, amphibious American.

        If you need an Enigma to decode that last statement, I would suggest submitting it to yoisthisracist.com.

      • ShadeTail
        ShadeTail
        January 27, 2012 at 6:14 pm | #

        SpuriousDefenseInitiative describes a pretty good example immediately above of the “how dare you call us racists!” style of racism. The general idea is, either knowingly or ignorantly say something racist (it can be as innocuous as the phrase “you people”), and when called on it, act like you are the one being insulted. There are many variations of this general theme.

        Perfect on-topic example: the Mormon church used to be an explicitly whites-only group, and non-whites could only join after being made “honorary whites”. I wish I was joking, but, while I don’t know whether it’s true anymore, it definitely used to be. Despite this being quite obviously and blatantly racist, the Mormons of the day would have angrily insisted that it wasn’t because, after all, it was God’s law. “How dare you call us racist! We’re obeying the commandments of God!”

  21. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    January 27, 2012 at 12:21 am | #

    The group keeps growing.

    Soon Dina will accidentally get swept up with them. I want that to be her running gag. Every time a bunch of characters goes somewhere, she is accidentally brought along.

    Also, I want to see her standing in the middle of church, still wearing her flotation device, and worried that there may be sharks in the baptismal font.

    • KresyAntics
      KresyAntics
      January 27, 2012 at 12:26 am | #

      lol there is a small cult of Dina Raptors at ASU They wear raptor beanies they ARE their own religion.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        January 27, 2012 at 12:30 am | #

        No way.

        • Spazman
          Spazman
          January 27, 2012 at 2:06 am | #

          Clever girl….

    • mechaqua
      mechaqua
      January 27, 2012 at 1:10 am | #

      and then the story arc ends with Dina summary.

      • a99steaksauce
        a99steaksauce
        January 27, 2012 at 2:01 am | #

        “I was kidnapped by religious fanatics. They tried to sacrifice me to their god but I got away on a motor scooter.” There could be more but I cant think too well right now.

  22. RaijinK
    RaijinK
    January 27, 2012 at 12:22 am | #

    I’m surprised Joyce just happens to be coming across so many residents up for joining the group. Though now that I think about it, anyone who’s not would still be asleep like Billie, so I guess the probability of running into other churchgoers in the hall at this point is pretty high.

    • Shade
      Shade
      January 27, 2012 at 3:49 pm | #

      I know where I spend my sunday mornings being non-religious and all, frankly you wouldn’t find me in the hallway.

  23. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    January 27, 2012 at 12:23 am | #

    Poor Joyce is overleading on Body Thetans, she needs an E-Meter STAT! 😛

    • Seraph
      Seraph
      January 27, 2012 at 12:30 am | #

      You’re thinking of Scientology.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        January 27, 2012 at 12:35 am | #

        I always get those things mixed up. 😀

        • CP
          CP
          January 27, 2012 at 3:20 am | #

          Can I ask why? I don’t see how there’s much there to confuse the two with.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            January 27, 2012 at 3:49 am | #

            Because I didn’t of the mistaking mormons as MiB agents angle at the time, naturally. ^_^

            • CP
              CP
              January 27, 2012 at 3:55 am | #

              Ah. Well, I hope you’ve learned your lesson and remember to confuse Mormons with MiB agents from now on.

    • S.Yeske
      S.Yeske
      January 27, 2012 at 5:39 am | #

      @Plasma
      LOL, you made me snort.

      and it is an easy mistake to make. Both religions are pretty darn weird.

  24. Ryune
    Ryune
    January 27, 2012 at 12:24 am | #

    THe only thing in this comic I find worthy of outrage or comment is the fact that Agatha’s church is okay with her wearing pants. The few times I’ve been to Mormon church I was told very explicitly to wear a skirt.

    • Jazzy the Man
      Jazzy the Man
      January 27, 2012 at 12:36 am | #

      I was just about to point out the skirt thing. XD I’m not mormon, but I grew up in Southeast Idaho, so there’s more than enough of them around so I knew pretty well the “Skirts only!” rule.

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      January 27, 2012 at 12:36 am | #

      Which moromon denomination was that?

      • CP
        CP
        January 27, 2012 at 3:38 am | #

        There are a couple of fundamentalist groups in rural Idaho and places like that, comprising a couple thousand people total, who are defined by their insistence on practicing polygamy. There’s the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, comprising a couple hundred thousand people, mostly based around Missouri, who are practically Baptist – their beliefs are barely divergent from Protestantism at all. Then there’s the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, with some 7 million members, which are centered in Salt Lake City, Utah.

        The groups are in no way affiliated with each other, and find each other quite objectionable, and would prefer not to be identified with the other groups at all. Anyone who held the beliefs of a fundamentalist Mormon would be basically immediately excommunicated from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. So calling them sects is problematic. It’d be like calling Satanism a sect of Christianity, because the idea of Satan came from Christianity.

        • Bekah
          Bekah
          January 27, 2012 at 4:24 am | #

          You don’t understand Satanism if you think it has ANYTHING to do with Christianity. Other than borrowing a name from a religion, Satanisn is basically just organized, doctrinized atheism.

          • HiEv
            HiEv
            January 27, 2012 at 1:00 pm | #

            That’s badly worded and not entirely correct.

            Saying “Satanisn is basically just organized, doctrinized atheism” is like saying “Peoples Temple (you know, the Jonestown mass suicide cult) is basically just organized, doctrinized Christianity”. It’s a bit misleading in its implications.

            Also, you’re just speaking of LaVeyan Satanism, however there are also theistic Satanism groups as well. The theistic Satanism groups did come from Christianity, though they are far rarer than LaVeyan Satanism nowadays.

            Anyways, LaVeyan Satanism is basically a religious philosophy that is also atheistic. The way you put it, it sounded like Satanism was atheism encoded into a doctrine and an organized religion (which isn’t really possible, since atheism just describes the absence of one belief).

            • Bekah
              Bekah
              January 28, 2012 at 9:15 pm | #

              You can’t have “organized and doctrinized Christianity” since that collection of terms is by definition, redundant.

              You CAN have “organized and doctrinized atheism” since athiesm is by definition, neither. A religious philosophy that is also atheistic, is essentially organized and doctrinized atheism. Hope that helps, bro.

              • HiEv
                HiEv
                January 30, 2012 at 2:22 am | #

                If you think you can’t have Christianity that is neither organized nor doctrinized, then you might want to check your history books. So no, it is not redundant. Furthermore, if something is redundant, then if you can have any part of it, then you can have all of it. Redundancy like that doesn’t make it impossible, it makes it *easier*. Finally, I was saying “X is Y”, and you’re telling me I can’t say “Y” because it’s redundant, which is just silly because this sentence can be redundant, repetitive, and say the same thing more than once and still be totally true.

                Hope that helps, not-my-bro.

          • CP
            CP
            January 27, 2012 at 11:55 pm | #

            @Bekah, that’s pretty much exactly as much as fundamentalist Mormonism has in common with most Mormons.

            • Bekah
              Bekah
              January 28, 2012 at 9:16 pm | #

              I agree with you, CP.

        • S.Yeske
          S.Yeske
          January 27, 2012 at 5:47 am | #

          Well, RLDS (who have changed their name so as not to be confused with LDS) were/was founded by Emma Smith, Joseph’s wife and took his eldest son as their prophet. They stopped the polygamy thing a lot sooner. Emma never liked it.
          Like some other sects, upon the death of the original leader there weas a schism. Women can hold preisthood positions there, among other differences.

          • S.Yeske
            S.Yeske
            January 27, 2012 at 5:48 am | #

            darn comment box is hiding half of what I’m typing.
            *was, not weas.
            Xb

        • Mkvenner
          Mkvenner
          January 31, 2012 at 12:02 am | #

          I was referring the nonFundamentalist denomination. Seriously there is more than just LDS and the FLSD.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      January 27, 2012 at 10:46 am | #

      To be entirely fair to Agatha, there’s no real indication that she’s going to church at the moment. There’s a lot of Sunday left.

      • Katie
        Katie
        January 27, 2012 at 11:36 pm | #

        True. She might have 12 church (If she’s lucky.) It’s a little early for most wards.

  25. K
    K
    January 27, 2012 at 12:27 am | #

    This is awesome. My family’s Catholic and my husband’s family’s Mormon, so I love seeing Joyce’s reactions to these groups.

  26. astraea
    astraea
    January 27, 2012 at 12:31 am | #

    I’m sorry. This has to be posted. Say what you like about it, but it must be posted: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHEqCXY2B-w

  27. Den
    Den
    January 27, 2012 at 12:32 am | #

    The most amusing thing about this webcomics is the comments P:

  28. Joebo
    Joebo
    January 27, 2012 at 12:33 am | #

    …and Joyce runs screaming into the night.

  29. mechaqua
    mechaqua
    January 27, 2012 at 12:36 am | #

    Meanwhile in Joyce’s mind

    C:\Joyce> run tolerance.exe

    Cannot find file ”. Check to ensure the path and filename are correct and that all required libraries are available.

    C:\Joyce> FIND Tolerance

    file found file C:\Joyce\humans\non_wasp\tolerance_?.exe

    C:\Joyce run tolerance_?.exe

    A problem has been detected and Joyce has been shut down to prevent damage to Her The problem seems to be caused by the following file: tolerance_?.exe Po If this is the first time you’ve seen this stop error screen,restart your Joyce. If this screen appears again, follow these steps Check to make sure any new hardware or software is properly installed f this is a new installation, ask your hardware or software manufacturer for any Joyce updates you might need If problems continue, disable or remove any newly installed Ideas or Beliefs. Disable Religion memory options such as caching or shadowing If you need to use Safe Mode to remove or disable components, restart your Joyce, press F8 to select Advanced Startup Options, and then select Safe Mode.

    I apologize if there is any mistakes with the cmd run process

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      January 27, 2012 at 12:38 am | #

      Sir or Mam You Win the Comments.

    • Tucker
      Tucker
      January 27, 2012 at 12:47 am | #

      Definitely gotta control+alt+delete your Joyce.

      • mechaqua
        mechaqua
        January 27, 2012 at 12:57 am | #

        if you do it too often frags though and if you don’t defrag the computer it effects your Joyce’s performance

        • Tucker
          Tucker
          January 27, 2012 at 4:23 am | #

          Nonono, silly, that’s why you formatted Joyce as NTFS before you loaded the OS. It may not solve the fragmentation problem completely, but it certainly reduces damage caused by impromptu shutdowns.

          All your Fat32 are belong to history.

    • Filthy Pazuzu
      Filthy Pazuzu
      January 27, 2012 at 1:54 am | #

      [begin annoying geek]
      You don’t need the ‘run’, just type the name of the executable to execute it.
      In DOS, ‘find’ searches within files.
      You’d use ‘dir’ instead.
      You’d put an asterisk on both sides of your search string, because you’re looking for a file name that contains the string “tolerance” but you don’t know what other characters may be in the file name.
      Asterisks (‘*’) are wildcards that match any sequence of characters.
      Question marks are wildcards for a single character, so it wouldn’t be in the file name returned by the command.
      dir *tolerance* /s
      [end annoying geek]

      • a99steaksauce
        a99steaksauce
        January 27, 2012 at 2:04 am | #

        *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* Im impressed.

        • Tucker
          Tucker
          January 27, 2012 at 4:22 am | #

          I thought about ranting on that, but I thought better of it. +Internets to Pazuzu for taking the time.

      • mechaqua
        mechaqua
        January 27, 2012 at 12:45 pm | #

        perhaps that’s what caused the crash

        this is why put the words
        “I apologize if there is any mistakes with the cmd run process”

        I suppose you can’t please everyone glad i didn’t use a Linux based os if I am getting people who are slightly annoyed over a mistake over DOS cmd prompt imagine the Flak for make an error in a Linux cmd prompt pheww boy

        • Tucker
          Tucker
          January 27, 2012 at 2:07 pm | #

          Oh dear, I can only imagine. I have a few Linux elitist friends, and they are unforgiving. To them, a stable, long-term Windows 7 install is still inferior. I ask them how much fun they have when they want to play a game, or use industry standard software. “I was up all night compiling.”

      • HiEv
        HiEv
        January 27, 2012 at 1:04 pm | #

        You have mollified my geek rage, sir. Thank you. 😉

    • Romanticide
      Romanticide
      January 27, 2012 at 2:51 am | #

      Joyce is in risk of breaking again.

  30. turkishproverb
    turkishproverb
    January 27, 2012 at 12:39 am | #

    Poor joyce is going to snap like a twig.

    If not from this, then when the one “good” guy on campus tells her the reason they wouldn’t make a couple.

  31. Chibi Squirt
    Chibi Squirt
    January 27, 2012 at 12:43 am | #

    Can we have a thread for people to *not* make intolerant comments about Mormonism? I may not agree with the theology of the religion, but the people seem pretty nice. Which is more than can be said for many atheists I’ve met.

    • a99steaksauce
      a99steaksauce
      January 27, 2012 at 12:48 am | #

      My father has said that they tend to be very nice people and good sense of community. But like all people there are the dicks in a group. Ive only met one mormon family for sure. The parents were nice but their two sons were spoiled rotten.

      • Chibi Squirt
        Chibi Squirt
        January 27, 2012 at 12:57 am | #

        I’ve met a couple. They were exactly like everybody else! Mindblowing!

        Actually, it’s not that the Mormons I’ve met are so nice (although they were) or that I’m generally defensive of people who are members of obscure-relative-to-some religions (although I am, being a member of such a religion myself). It’s the hypocrisy of displaying prejudice against a group because of the stereotype that they are prejudiced.

        And it’s not like no one here knows any individual Mormons–at least one regular on this board appears to be LDS.

        • JordanD
          JordanD
          January 27, 2012 at 1:05 am | #

          “We should not make intolerant comments and stereotype the Mormons or other obscure religion! They are just like everyone else! The atheists, though, are acceptable targets! Those blasted atheists!”

          • Compulsive Collector
            Compulsive Collector
            January 27, 2012 at 9:03 am | #

            Well, it’s pretty common knowledge that anyone who doesn’t believe in an invisible sky-god is an asshole. I mean, duh. People like that don’t deserve tolerance.

          • Eposi
            Eposi
            January 27, 2012 at 12:42 pm | #

            technically it is not hate when it is not threatening and you bash all groups see Blazing Saddles. Now then what group hasn’t been insulted yet?

          • Chibi Squirt
            Chibi Squirt
            January 27, 2012 at 2:02 pm | #

            Nope, nope, nope. Don’t even try to pretend I said that.

            What I said was that many atheists had been less than nice.
            There are a lot of atheists, especially on the internets. “Many” can be less than nice and still have the majority be perfectly nice people. I was mostly just trying to make my point, well, slightly more pointed.

            • ShadeTail
              ShadeTail
              January 27, 2012 at 6:26 pm | #

              Oh no you don’t. You don’t get to back-peddle and pretend that others aren’t allowed to be offended at your offensive statement. You deliberately singled out a whole group and smeared them, and you’re trying to hide behind a weasel word to avoid taking responsibility for that.

              If you’d said something about “many jews” or “many blacks”, would you still be trying to pretend that you didn’t say anything offensive? Or would you have the integrity to own up to the fact that you said something bad? Well, you’re no better off for having targeted atheists instead. So stop pretending that your hands are clean.

              • Chibi Squirt
                Chibi Squirt
                January 28, 2012 at 1:44 pm | #

                I said many I had met–I deliberately did not say most, and I deliberately specified my own personal experience. Specifically so that I wouldn’t have to have this conversation. I admit, I should have known better, considering it’s the internet.

                But I still think my comment was fairly mild-toned–certainly, it was intended to be–and I definitely wouldn’t say it was a smear. If I had said that many Jews I’d met had been mean (which they haven’t by the way, especially if I try to talk religion with them), I would absolutely stand by the statement. In neither the hypothetical nor the actual was I “targeting” anybody.

                I would point out, though, that you responded to my mild comment with sarcasm which, see the paragraphs above, didn’t even apply It was sarcasm for the sake of sarcasm, as far as I can tell.

                Which does somewhat reinforce any conclusions I’ve drawn regarding the demeanor of atheists in discussion on religion.

                • gangler
                  gangler
                  January 28, 2012 at 6:52 pm | #

                  I’m not really seeing sarcasm there. The post looks pretty sincere actually.

                  Also not seeing where ShadeTail was identified as an atheist either. So the notion that sarcasm on ShadeTail’s part would reinforce your opinions of atheists seems like a bit of a leap.

        • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
          Zanosuke_Kurosaki
          January 27, 2012 at 1:17 am | #

          *waves hand* If that’s not me, this brings the count up to two. 🙂

          • a99steaksauce
            a99steaksauce
            January 27, 2012 at 2:07 am | #

            Nice to meet you. Ive never met a mormon online that I knew was one. Though that can be said for many of the religions.

            • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
              Zanosuke_Kurosaki
              January 27, 2012 at 2:39 am | #

              You, too! I try not to let it be the “defining” principle of my life, exactly. It just, y’know, happens to be something I made the choice on. I’m still the same smart-alec I was before, I just make sure I drop the profanity from my vocabulary. (drinking/smoking wasn’t an issue beforehand anyway) 🙂

    • Doom Shepherd
      Doom Shepherd
      January 27, 2012 at 8:36 am | #

      My 2nd cousin’s immediate family are Mormons, and you will not find a nicer bunch of people. Back when I was being bullied in middle school for being a nerd who upset the grading curve, he was the ONLY person who stood up for me.

      As for the religion… from the POV of a non-religious person, it’s no sillier than any other.

      I mean, how are you gonna compete with a religion that believes that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree?

      • a99steaksauce
        a99steaksauce
        January 27, 2012 at 12:21 pm | #

        Well first of all they still die, I think…

        • Kryss LaBryn
          Kryss LaBryn
          January 27, 2012 at 8:16 pm | #

          No, no, it’s only their physical form.

          Their actual manna gets put into their lava-life pod for later resurrection. I think.

      • Shade
        Shade
        January 27, 2012 at 3:58 pm | #

        Yeah but they tend to get pissed when I phrase it like that…

  32. Waffle Master
    Waffle Master
    January 27, 2012 at 12:53 am | #

    I find Joyce extra adorable when she’s uncomfortable.

    • Waffle Master
      Waffle Master
      January 27, 2012 at 12:56 am | #

      also all thats needed now is an incredibly friendly and accepting satanist.

      • Mkvenner
        Mkvenner
        January 27, 2012 at 12:59 am | #

        That’s a thought that is going to fester.

        • Squidpocalypse
          Squidpocalypse
          January 27, 2012 at 6:38 am | #

          *raises hand*
          Hi, I’m tolerant, and I’m a Satanist.
          Oddly enough, good freinds with a mormon-pretty sure she has no idea though ^.^;

          • Katie
            Katie
            January 27, 2012 at 11:39 pm | #

            Lol. As a Mormon, I have to laugh and offer you a high five and say you are awesome.

          • Mkvenner
            Mkvenner
            January 31, 2012 at 12:05 am | #

            Whatever floats your boat. I don’t Care.

  33. Robert
    Robert
    January 27, 2012 at 12:55 am | #

    See Joyce? This is why Billie sleeps in on Sundays.

  34. Dierna
    Dierna
    January 27, 2012 at 1:02 am | #

    I was wondering if there was a token Mormon amongst the cast! *lol* Watch out Joyce! She might try to help you with your genealogy! Oh nose! 😛

  35. CorvusCorax
    CorvusCorax
    January 27, 2012 at 1:04 am | #

    I swear there was less hullabaloo over Mormons when ‘The Book of Mormon’ musical came out compared to now with Romney

    By now I’m just kind of worn out defending my religion against all the misconceptions and outright lies lately. (Not talking about the comics mind you, I found the Shortpacked! Mario missionaries one funny.)

    Curious to see where Willis goes with this character… Don’t remember her at all.

    • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
      Zanosuke_Kurosaki
      January 27, 2012 at 2:40 am | #

      Whoa! That makes 4 LDS, now. Hey there Corvus! 🙂

    • Origami_Guru
      Origami_Guru
      January 27, 2012 at 4:36 am | #

      I guess this makes me number 5. First time posting, but I have been reading the comic (and comments) for several months now and loving it. I really like the how Joyce is developing as a character and is widening her boundaries.

      I also find it hard to believe that so many people accept misinformation. How hard is it to google something or read the wikipedia article?

      • Historyman68
        Historyman68
        January 27, 2012 at 9:11 am | #

        To be fair, I’d imagine there’s loads of misinformation out there on the Internet too, possibly even (gasp) on wikipeda.

        • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
          Zanosuke_Kurosaki
          January 27, 2012 at 1:57 pm | #

          Heck, it’s startling (and kind of smile-inducing, actually) how accurate the article about it on TV Tropes is.

      • a99steaksauce
        a99steaksauce
        January 27, 2012 at 12:23 pm | #

        You have no idea the extent of laziness a man can take to do nothing about knowing something.

    • Historyman68
      Historyman68
      January 27, 2012 at 9:08 am | #

      Well, Romney’s been in the national spotlight since the 2008 election, so I can imagine most people have already had the opportunity to decide their feelings on a Mormon president by now.

      Also, I’m from Massachusetts, so I also know that a) he wasn’t the worst governor in the world, and b) his faults don’t seem to have much to do with his religion, per se.

      It is pretty strange when he seems to be one of the least bad GOP candidates, though.

  36. NF
    NF
    January 27, 2012 at 1:11 am | #

    I’d like to see Joyce meet an actual pagan, and witness her mind BSOD.

    • Waffle Master
      Waffle Master
      January 27, 2012 at 1:21 am | #

      Her eyes would roll back and she’d start making that noise computers used to make when you pushed all the key while it was frozen.

      • a99steaksauce
        a99steaksauce
        January 27, 2012 at 1:55 am | #

        Or she could sproul into a coma.

    • Filthy Pazuzu
      Filthy Pazuzu
      January 27, 2012 at 1:56 am | #

      I’d love to see the pagan asking Joyce what pine trees and bunnies have to do with Jesus.

      • S.Yeske
        S.Yeske
        January 27, 2012 at 5:53 am | #

        THIS.

      • Eposi
        Eposi
        January 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm | #

        Christmas was borrowed from pagans, so we got even by inserting a few things into Easter

        • HiEv
          HiEv
          January 27, 2012 at 1:20 pm | #

          Ah, Easter.

          The holiday named after a Pagan goddess where Christians celebrate Jesus’ resurrection by using Pagan fertility symbols (rabbits and eggs).

          When is that ever not funny if you really think about it?

        • Shade
          Shade
          January 27, 2012 at 4:00 pm | #

          Borrowed is the nice way to put it, yes. I imagine the pagans are still waiting for it to be returned though.

  37. lord of dance
    lord of dance
    January 27, 2012 at 1:51 am | #

    see this is why you shouldnt have social events before going to church. back in college when id go to church id just go and if i see someone there that i know we might go together next time. it also gells with my basic policy about never talking with people about their religion if i can avoid it because it never ends well

    • Shade
      Shade
      January 27, 2012 at 4:12 pm | #

      That’s funny, I talk with several people in my workplace about it. There’s a second godless heathen like myself, a adventist, two agnostics and a catholic. As long as I stay off the topic of evolution with the catholic we get along fine.

  38. Keulan
    Keulan
    January 27, 2012 at 1:54 am | #

    And my reaction upon reading this strip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zSHz7Thvbc

  39. Bekah
    Bekah
    January 27, 2012 at 2:21 am | #

    Who knew that a smile seen only in profile could look so painful, terrified, and… what’s the word I’m looking for… judgy? All at once?

  40. Alain
    Alain
    January 27, 2012 at 2:38 am | #

    I’m hoping that several members of the church of Kopimism will show up next.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missionary_Church_of_Kopimism

    I want to see them do the CTRL-C and CTRL-V signs.

  41. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    January 27, 2012 at 2:44 am | #

    “Look at dem pearly whites!”

  42. Iceholder
    Iceholder
    January 27, 2012 at 2:46 am | #

    Now we need a Jehovah’s Witness and a Quaker.

    … also, through Google and Wikipedia, I now know there are too many Christian denominations O.o
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christian_denominations

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      January 27, 2012 at 3:51 am | #

      …and then they all walk into a bar.

      • Zababcd
        Zababcd
        January 27, 2012 at 7:17 am | #

        They look about and see that the bar is crowded tonight. “This will not do,” they agree amongst themselves.

        They set about enlightening the patrons of the establishment as to the dangers that drinking to excess can bring upon one’s soul.

        The patrons put up with it for a while, but eventually they all head home or take their business elsewhere.

        Satisfied with their work, the Mormon and the Quaker take their leave of the establishment.

        • Zababcd
          Zababcd
          January 27, 2012 at 8:27 am | #

          If you don’t get the joke then read more carefully or set your hilarity acceptance threshold lower.

          • Chibi Squirt
            Chibi Squirt
            January 27, 2012 at 2:06 pm | #

            I… I really don’t get it at all.

            • Shade
              Shade
              January 27, 2012 at 4:03 pm | #

              I believe… not quite sure here to be honest but the other demominations just ordered drinks, while only the Mormon and the Quaker were doing the preaching about liqour.

              • Zababcd
                Zababcd
                January 27, 2012 at 7:37 pm | #

                All the denominations were preaching about liquour, but the other denominations were just preaching to get rid of the crowds.

                I was working with what I was given.

                • Shade
                  Shade
                  January 28, 2012 at 3:59 pm | #

                  Ah I see, yes that does make more sense.

    • Mel
      Mel
      January 29, 2012 at 10:45 pm | #

      Well, I’m a Quaker. The wonderful, ultra-left-wing hippy dippy practically unitarian sort even.

      Joyce wouldn’t last five minutes at a silent meeting of worship. So much tooth grinding would be had.

  43. Acher4
    Acher4
    January 27, 2012 at 3:03 am | #

    The last panel Joyce is the most cute thing ever!

  44. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)
    AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)
    January 27, 2012 at 3:04 am | #

    Joyce possible mental breakdown?

  45. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)
    AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)
    January 27, 2012 at 3:16 am | #

    I wonder what is Joyce reactions toward Buddhist, Hindu or Moslem…..

    • Tucker
      Tucker
      January 27, 2012 at 4:24 am | #

      One of those religions is a suspiciously similar substitute.

      • AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)
        AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)
        January 27, 2012 at 6:37 am | #

        Which one?

        • Eposi
          Eposi
          January 27, 2012 at 12:50 pm | #

          Hindu and Buddhist, for their practice, not doctrine

          • Tucker
            Tucker
            January 27, 2012 at 1:05 pm | #

            No, Islam. It’s one of three Abrahamic religions premised on much of the same source doctrine. Judaism doesn’t recognize Jesus as the messiah, and neither does Islam. Islam sees Mohammed as the latest in a long line of great prophets – including Jesus.

            The key to understanding what Islam is all about lies to divorcing it from Sharia law. The two have, and very much can, exist in a state of mutual exclusivity. Oh yeah, and Mohammed spend the latter part of his life preaching equality and fair treatment – most people miss that memo.

  46. lawzlo
    lawzlo
    January 27, 2012 at 4:06 am | #

    “Him? He’s harmless. Back in the sixties he was part of the free speech movement at Berkely. I think he did a little too much LDS.”

    -James T. Kirk

    • lawzlo
      lawzlo
      January 27, 2012 at 4:06 am | #

      Oops. “Berkeley.”

    • Blue
      Blue
      January 27, 2012 at 7:27 pm | #

      This is awesome

  47. QueenKol
    QueenKol
    January 27, 2012 at 4:21 am | #

    My family is Catholic and I went to Catholic school until I got into college.
    I’m not devout by any means, but after all that Catholic background I came to have a pretty good grasp of basic biblical events (taking into account the different editions of the bible). We talked about religion in my sociology class freshman year and I used my knowledge to contribute to the discussion. During our break one of my classmates tried to strike up a conversation with me about Christian values. I was uncomfortable but I humored her. She was an Evangelical of some sort (I don’t remember which). After a series of polite answers, she asked me what denomination I was. I informed her I was Roman Catholic. She looked flabbergasted. She then apologized and told me she had thought I was a christian.

    Apparently I had missed a memo from the Pope about our change in status.

    • waytoomanyusernames
      waytoomanyusernames
      January 27, 2012 at 12:37 pm | #

      Yup, that’s Fundies for you (but not all Fundies are like that).

      My sister had a group of friends, all great people, all devout Christians, some Adventists, some LDS, some evangelical fundamentalists, none of them intolerant.

      Although I knew several of them prayed for me because I was athiest.

      Nowadays I often think that they were the exception that prove the rule, though.

      • waytoomanyusernames
        waytoomanyusernames
        January 27, 2012 at 12:39 pm | #

        atheist, not athiest

  48. Zoey
    Zoey
    January 27, 2012 at 4:41 am | #

    oooo the m word

  49. gangler
    gangler
    January 27, 2012 at 4:56 am | #

    I don’t think it’s been mentioned yet, but isn’t it absolutely adorable that she’s confused by someone who’s religious views differ from that of their family members? I mean she points it out as if she’s found some manner of contradiction.

    • a99steaksauce
      a99steaksauce
      January 27, 2012 at 12:31 pm | #

      Well she is used to a community where the sons and daughters take up the beliefs of the parents. You are more likely to be in a religion that you grew up with.

  50. Zababcd
    Zababcd
    January 27, 2012 at 5:03 am | #

    Look, I know everyone thinks that Joyce has something against Mormons in that last panel, but if you ask me it looks more like she’s hallucinating from hunger.

    Okay, not really.

  51. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    January 27, 2012 at 5:22 am | #

    I love Joyce. Of course, I’m Presbyterian and one of our doctrines of faith is that God determines who goes to Heaven irregardless of anything humans do. Ergo, worrying about what you do is really pointless.

    John Calvin, our psychotic founder, would be horrified at how liberal we’ve become.

  52. Chiparoo
    Chiparoo
    January 27, 2012 at 5:26 am | #

    As someone who was raised in the LDS church, I can say that the people who were most abusive towards my religion were other Christians. :\ It was really super upsetting.
    But! It means you got their interaction right. That TINY hesitation before she reveals that she is Mormon to a very outspoken Christian? It shows that she knows the rejection is coming, which how I always felt in the same situation.
    I’m a little apprehensive about David introducing us to a Mormon character. But, that being said, I am also excited about it, because this is the first time I have ever seen an LDS character on any major webcomic that wasn’t there solely to insult missionaries. Yay for you!

    • AJBulldis
      AJBulldis
      January 27, 2012 at 8:14 am | #

      You don’t know that; he might totally rip into them in the next comic.

      • Chiparoo
        Chiparoo
        January 28, 2012 at 5:57 am | #

        Which is why I am apprehensive :\

    • Matthias Ramses
      Matthias Ramses
      January 27, 2012 at 11:53 am | #

      heh. Can definitely understand the apprehension. The only time i’ve heard someone mention my religion before, they butchered it so badly that i was surprised he still had a teaching licence afterwords. (it wasnt a religion course, and he obviously wasn’t a gnostic).

      • a99steaksauce
        a99steaksauce
        January 27, 2012 at 12:35 pm | #

        Do you like Dr. Pepper?
        *sigh* what a bad joke.

    • Faintheart
      Faintheart
      January 27, 2012 at 1:21 pm | #

      That, or the hesitation was the quick internal debate over, “Do I say Mormon or LDS?” In my experience, the last line would have been “I’m, uh, LDS.” The first two panels of tomorrow’s strip would be just the two of them looking at each other with no dialogue, then in the third panel Agatha just says, “Mormon.” Then Joyce responds with, “That is awesome.”

      • ouch
        ouch
        January 27, 2012 at 6:26 pm | #

        So you want the time in the strip to go even slower?

      • Blue
        Blue
        January 28, 2012 at 2:33 pm | #

        Not gonna lie, that would have made a really awesome set of strips.

  53. tahrey
    tahrey
    January 27, 2012 at 5:56 am | #

    hahaha… oh that poor girl. her previously well defined little universe just getting more and more bent out of shape hour by hour :-/

  54. Jerrery
    Jerrery
    January 27, 2012 at 8:36 am | #

    Take last two panels. Replace dialogue in first of the two. Instant meme.

  55. TheDarkEricDraven
    TheDarkEricDraven
    January 27, 2012 at 8:41 am | #

    If I were Joyce, I would be glad that she wasn’t a Jehova’s Witness.

  56. sarpiedon
    sarpiedon
    January 27, 2012 at 9:13 am | #

    HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA religious intolerance is funny

    • Crumplepunch
      Crumplepunch
      January 27, 2012 at 10:53 am | #

      This message brought to you by boob.

      • Tucker
        Tucker
        January 27, 2012 at 1:06 pm | #

        …and boob 2.

  57. AliaPie
    AliaPie
    January 27, 2012 at 9:30 am | #

    So what happens when she meets a Muslim?

    • Zale
      Zale
      January 27, 2012 at 7:14 pm | #

      This Joyce will self-destruct in 5..

    • sarpiedon
      sarpiedon
      January 30, 2012 at 9:23 am | #

      The terrorists win

  58. Alexx
    Alexx
    January 27, 2012 at 9:37 am | #

    It’s absolutely amazing that people can believe in such different things and still live in the same world with each other. ‘Course that sorta thing has started wars and resulted in folks killin’ each other as well, so I guess they can’t ALWAYS live in the same world together. Still, my main question growing up (and now, in many ways; though the question has changed a bit) is “How can so many people come up with so many different origins for existence, then become aware that everyone has different origins for existence, and STILL totally believe that thier own is the right one and everyone else is believing in the wrong one?”

    For as long as I live I don’t think I’ll ever get an answer.

    • FlyingFish
      FlyingFish
      January 27, 2012 at 9:44 am | #

      Well, if you didn’t believe your belief was the right one, you wouldn’t believe it. (Did that make any sense?)

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        January 27, 2012 at 4:46 pm | #

        Actually, yes it makes perfect sense.

      • ouch
        ouch
        January 27, 2012 at 6:28 pm | #

        Actually, no.
        I mean, obviously it does make sense, but it’s not true.
        It’s perfectly possible to believe that something is wrong, but find yourself unable of stopping believing it. Also viceversa, believe that a belief is right but failing to believe it.
        I can only imagine how frustrating that’d be. Funny things, our brains.

    • NobodySpecial
      NobodySpecial
      January 27, 2012 at 12:09 pm | #

      I used to have daydreams about religious wars in America, usually centered on the fact that there’s a megachurch in my town and three churches of three different denominations within mortar range of each other and the megachurch.

      “And then the first wave was met HERE….”

    • a99steaksauce
      a99steaksauce
      January 27, 2012 at 12:39 pm | #

      You have no idea how many ways a human can look at something. The human mind is amazing in that two people can think about the same thing and come up with even five different ways of looking at it.

    • Eposi
      Eposi
      January 27, 2012 at 12:56 pm | #

      Religion is like a pair shoes, you need to find a set that is comfortable and is practical for you to live in.

      • AlmightyAtheismo
        AlmightyAtheismo
        January 27, 2012 at 5:34 pm | #

        And just like a pair of shoes, it’s an unnecessary comfort shielding you from the world.

        • Jackson
          Jackson
          January 28, 2012 at 3:51 am | #

          So atheists have no soles!

          (is beaten to death with nailbats)

        • gangler
          gangler
          January 28, 2012 at 6:12 am | #

          Yeah, shoes are unnecessary by any standard that lists a frostbite free state of being as a luxury and toes as superfluous.

          • Beloggy
            Beloggy
            January 28, 2012 at 11:04 am | #

            Hospital lab tech. . . I like shoes. . . .

    • Kryss LaBryn
      Kryss LaBryn
      January 27, 2012 at 8:32 pm | #

      That… may be a Middle Eastern thing. I dunno? But my religion pretty much says that ALL gods are real; we just don’t follow other ones because we also believe that our gods are also our ancestors and that they’re primarily interested in their own descendents.

      This leads to debates over whether you have to have the right ethnic background to follow our gods, or (as everyone I know thinks) hey, if a god has called you, who am I to say you nay?

      But I like that world-view, that all the gods are real. That means that all the wonderful origin stories, from the world being sung into existence back in the Australian Dreamtime, to the African goddess who was interrupted while she was baking people out of clay, so some were nicely toasted and finished baking, while others were only partly done or not baked yet at all and all pasty and pale, to Raven finding the Haida hiding in an oyster shell, are all true.

      “Real”? Yeah, probably not, unless the stories also mention Australopicethus. -es? -ii? Anyways, not real But true, which makes the world a very cool place to be in.

      All the gods are real…

      • S.Yeske
        S.Yeske
        February 10, 2012 at 5:02 am | #

        Kryss LaBryn~

        You are my favorite person today. <3 <3

  59. Iceman
    Iceman
    January 27, 2012 at 10:41 am | #

    Its. Rag-tag group of religions

  60. waytoomanyusernames
    waytoomanyusernames
    January 27, 2012 at 12:47 pm | #

    Seeing how she reacts to Catholics and LDS, I wonder how Joyce would react to a Unitarian Universalist or even an Episcopalian?

    • Asuka L.S.
      Asuka L.S.
      January 27, 2012 at 2:13 pm | #

      I’m pretty sure her head would explode about two minutes into an explanation of Christian Universalism.

  61. aaron_bourque
    aaron_bourque
    January 27, 2012 at 1:01 pm | #

    NO! NOT MORMONS!

    They’re DIFFERENT, and so must be SHUNNED!

  62. Quiche
    Quiche
    January 27, 2012 at 1:09 pm | #

    Oh, so many sore toes from all the stepping on! I am gonna go ahead and take the humorous route and suggest Joyce read http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html which is a funny and sparkly gif filled blog about the ties of Mormonism and Twilight.

    • S.Yeske
      S.Yeske
      February 10, 2012 at 5:04 am | #

      Mega points for referencing the Sparkledammerung!!

      I laughed so hard I got a stomachache reading that.

  63. Ryan Balis
    Ryan Balis
    January 27, 2012 at 1:16 pm | #

    I really liked Joyce, but seeing how much she picky she is with people because of their cult. I’ll go read It’s Walky to wash this image from her

  64. Pagannerd
    Pagannerd
    January 27, 2012 at 1:42 pm | #

    A former strict Mormon on my course at university told me that he was raised to believe that all the other planets in our solar system had contained prior versions of the human race which had already undergone their day of judgement.

    I still have no idea if he was joking or not.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      January 27, 2012 at 3:53 pm | #

      I’d like to say that that wasn’t ever taught to him in church, but the rather ad-hoc manner in which sunday school teachers are selected, with no screening and no training, leaves open the possibility that some loon got his hands on some impressionable minds. I’m moderately confident that nothing the likes of that ever got into the printed lesson manuals, anyway.

      As for what he was taught at home, who the hell knows. People can believe anything they want and teach it to their kids, and I’ve observed that Mormons can keep up with the best of them at reading the scriptures and “interpreting” them to mean anything they want them to.

      All that said, I’ve heard it asserted (in mormon sunday school) that there are myriad other planets out there populated by intelligent beings with souls that want saving. However we earthlings are the only ones who got a Jesus, whose actions then saved everybody anywhere. Why we got so lucky is never addressed, and I can only wonder at the success rate of the Mormonism-analogue religions on planets who never even had Christianity and who are literally proselytizing Space Jesus. Oh, and none of these places have undergone judgement either, since just like Jesus there’s only one judgement too.

      Anyway, I suppose if he heard about this and got it really, really confused, that would lead him to believe that Jupiter was once inhabited (despite not really having a solid surface). That or *you* got it confused when you heard him talking about. Or maybe this was some crazy person’s idea, or maybe he was joking. Who knows?

      • AlmightyAtheismo
        AlmightyAtheismo
        January 27, 2012 at 4:27 pm | #

        It could be that he got it wrong, but I’m more inclined to believe the crazy sunday school teacher myself. I had a few of them when I was growing up. In third grade my sunday school teacher tried to convince the whole class that Matt Groening was a tool of the devil and quite possibly the anti-christ. Using puppets.

        I had a mormon friend in middle school that used to say some weird things that I can’t say for sure aren’t part of the dogma, but always sounded like crazy sunday school rambling to me. One of which being that mormons get christian servants in the afterlife.

        • gangler
          gangler
          January 27, 2012 at 4:43 pm | #

          Hell, I had a seminary teacher who was teaching the exact date that Christ would arrive and where the earthquake retribution for Matt Groening would hit. For a while I had a sunday school teacher who insisted on disregarding the scriptures entirely when he taught. They were venturing pretty far out of the curriculum to be sure.

          Sometimes somebody’s pet theory will just become really popular locally too. For example I’ve never been able to get a straight answer on where it says that in the afterlife our blood will be replaced with light, and I’m pretty sure the church as a whole doesn’t believe it, but it’s certainly something I heard a lot growing up and it’s as a child it’s hard to tell when people are just playing at armchair theology rather than discussing anything viewed as a concrete truth.

          • Pagannerd
            Pagannerd
            January 28, 2012 at 9:57 pm | #

            “Blood replaced with light” sounds like the coolest bit of theological trivia I’ve heard in quite a while.

        • waytoomanyusernames
          waytoomanyusernames
          January 27, 2012 at 5:23 pm | #

          That sounds awesome! Man, that makes me wish I’d gone to Sunday School.

  65. Asuka L.S.
    Asuka L.S.
    January 27, 2012 at 2:05 pm | #

    I am absolutely LOVING Joyce’s reactions to all this exposure she’s getting to the rest of Christendom. My favorite so far is her expression in the last panel of today’s comic. ^__^

    She’ll be alright, she’s a nice girl. I have faith in her ability to adapt and accept new ideas. In the meantime I get to enjoy her plan to expose Dorothy to religion turning into her OWN exposure!

  66. Dan Lokhorst
    Dan Lokhorst
    January 27, 2012 at 2:16 pm | #

    Don’t worry, Joyce, this Mormon lady doesn’t tow the party line. If she did, she would be wearing a skirt on a Sunday morning. She may be trying out other faiths.

    I grew up Mormon (now a born again athiest) and I never quite realized what a rigid social code we have in the church until I started seeing depictions of Mormons in the media.

  67. LiC
    LiC
    January 27, 2012 at 2:22 pm | #

    Oh Joyce… I’m kinda surprised by her reactions to the idea of anyone being a religion that is not her own. After all, she did intentionally go to a non-Christian college, where she would have to make friends and interact with people of various other faiths. I would have thought she’d have prepared herself a bit more. 😛

    • Fauxlosopher
      Fauxlosopher
      January 27, 2012 at 2:25 pm | #

      No matter how hard you prepare yourself, you can’t know the unknowable. She grew up in an environment where everyone was the same faith, and as she was homeschooled, she didn’t really have much reason to get out and meet other people of other faiths. She pretty much dove headfirst into the middle of the Atlantic to learn how to swim. A noble gesture, to be sure, to intentionally go to a college with a melting pot of people and faiths, but more than a little bit overwhelming.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      January 27, 2012 at 3:38 pm | #

      Adding to the above, she may also have had an unconsciously skewed perspective on the religious demographics of the world at large. that is to say, while she obviously was unsurprised by the possibility of meeting a catholic, and meeting a Jew didn’t slow her down any, she might have a vague notion that there are no muslims, hindus, shinto, etc in america, and that the Mormons are only to be found in Utah and its bordering states.

  68. Fauxlosopher
    Fauxlosopher
    January 27, 2012 at 2:36 pm | #

    People who call religions cults are intolerant and possibly a little bit spiteful. I’m agnostic, but I accept other religions as valid dogma so long as they’re not shoving their views down my throat. The few super-strict-omg-wtf-bbq religious people I’ve met that did that got a stern talking to about not waving their faith like a dick (double meaning intended). Faith is a fine thing. Pride in your faith is a fine thing. Slapping down faith because you don’t have any is a dick move.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      January 27, 2012 at 3:34 pm | #

      Alternately, people the people calling religions “cults” might be using the word in an actually meaningful way: to describe a member of a class of extremely insular religions that isolate their followers from the outside world and/or try to hide aspects of their theology from the outside world. From this use of the word comes the adjective “cultish”, which describes anything exhibiting these secretive and exclusive tendencies.

      For example, the old gnostic cults that were contemporary with the start of Christianity were in fact cults, by the above definition. Christianity itself was also a cult in the beginning (and an apocalyptic cult to boot). In modern days, Scientology could reasonably called a cult. Mormonism certainly qualified in its early, lawless days; nowadays it has shed most of its isolationism, though it’s attempts at secrecy regarding its temple rituals retain a certain cultish flavor.

      All that said, anybody who calls Christianity-as-a-whole or any other open, public religion a cult is clearly just using the word as a meaningless pejorative and should be criticized for their bastardization of the language if nothing else.

      • gangler
        gangler
        January 27, 2012 at 4:33 pm | #

        I do always find it funny when people throw the “Mormons aren’t Christian. They are a cult.” at us. Whenever I look at the definition of the terms I can’t really see how they’re mutually exclusive.

    • AlmightyAtheismo
      AlmightyAtheismo
      January 27, 2012 at 5:49 pm | #

      I will consider any insular groups that indoctrinate children as cults. Yes, as a religion gets large enough, it becomes hard to insulate, but the attempts are what matters. Growing up I was taught in sermons that I wasn’t to associate with non-believers except to attempt a conversion, and then if they didn’t convert I was supposed to never associate with them again. That wasn’t even sunday school, it was a regular sermon at the local mega church. I had to pretend my friends were christians and coach them before letting them into my house, lest my dad discover their heathen beliefs, or lack there of.

      To me all religions are cults in their base form, not all churches and small groups may still act cultish, but that doesn’t stop the religion itself as a whole from being cultish. The difference to me is just semantics.

      • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
        Zanosuke_Kurosaki
        January 28, 2012 at 4:00 am | #

        On behalf of those of us who believe in actual choice in the matter: ouch, I am *very* sorry. 🙁

  69. Eposi
    Eposi
    January 27, 2012 at 3:28 pm | #

    Now let us all bow our heads in prayer to the Great Flying Spaghetti Monster

    • Furie
      Furie
      January 27, 2012 at 4:44 pm | #

      As a practicing Lasagnaist, I take offence at the mere mention of your spin-off cult. Dolmio be with you.

      • Eposi
        Eposi
        January 28, 2012 at 1:59 pm | #

        sorry

  70. Runevok
    Runevok
    January 27, 2012 at 3:51 pm | #

    The way I see it all religions by themselves are crap so I just pick the best of what each of them have and scrap the rest. Makes religious tolerance all the easier lol.

  71. Kelvin
    Kelvin
    January 27, 2012 at 7:17 pm | #

    OH MY. Is Joyce happy or upset?

  72. Taryn
    Taryn
    January 27, 2012 at 8:08 pm | #

    I’m glad Joyce is being forced to recognize other people’s faiths. I can’t wait until she’s more tolerant. =_=

  73. ShawnTheGitl
    ShawnTheGitl
    January 27, 2012 at 8:59 pm | #

    I love it! Reminds me of my high school years- I was a little bit of a sheltered Christian girl… I had a problem with the whole, “They’re all going to hell!” bit…

    I think I ended up being a pretty cool and open-minded person in the end.. this is just Joyce’s journey.

  74. Maycroft
    Maycroft
    January 28, 2012 at 1:03 am | #

    Can you hear Joyce’s teeth crack?

  75. L
    L
    January 28, 2012 at 1:13 am | #

    As an atheist from a mostly catholic (with a side of “Just don’t care” like Billie) country, sort of an outsider, it never quite ceases to surprise me how much bad blood can run between Christian denominations.

    One would think for people that worship the same deity and believe in the divinity of the same Jesus and take the gospels as, well, gospels, this kind of reaction would be saved for Muslims, Buddhists, Confucianists, Atheists and Deists. You know, people who have very different ideas about spirituality.

    • gangler
      gangler
      January 28, 2012 at 2:02 am | #

      Arguments between people who are fans of the same thing can certainly get surprisingly heated at times.

  76. MichaelHaneline
    MichaelHaneline
    January 28, 2012 at 3:46 am | #

    I briefly dated a Mormon girl once. Apparently all her Mormon friends (which was all of her friends) told her they’d have nothing to do with her and they’d make sure she wasn’t welcome at church any more if she continued to date a non-Mormon. I’ve always kind of wondered how common that is for Mormons, and if that was just a particularly isolationist group…

    It should be noted that I DID tell them that I did believe in God but that I think he’s kind of a dick, and that I do all my charity work for the sake of my fellow man instead of for God, and that I donate plenty to the Red Cross but had no interest in giving a cent to any church. So I did sort of antagonize them, I guess.

    • Zanosuke_Kurosaki
      Zanosuke_Kurosaki
      January 28, 2012 at 3:58 am | #

      Sadly, yeah, that was a particularly snobbish, clique-ish group. Sometimes you can get groups of them that form these little “bubbles”, and they try to keep the “outside world” out. It’s rather disturbing to see people do that, LDS church or not. =\

    • gangler
      gangler
      January 28, 2012 at 4:20 am | #

      It certainly varies from group to group. It’s an interesting balance, because there’s nothing that says you can’t date a nonmormon so long as you don’t do any of the sexual nonos, but there can be a bit of a mentality that they won’t understand that or at that you’ll find you have little in common with a nonmormon.

      Plus, as much as dating is fine, temple marriage is necessary to achieve exaltation, and nonmormons aren’t allowed in the temple. So only marriage with another mormon is recognized by God or will get you into the best afterlife.

      Now, obviously it’s not like everyone always marries within the church either, and within my own life people have at least been accepting of that. It happens. No shame in it. However it’s a fine balance, since at the end of the day everyone does still want you to marry another mormon, and the lack of encouragement when you leave that dating circle if palpable.

      Plus, there are always judgmental people and some people disagree on the ordering of priorities. For example when my grandpa converted he left his wife and children and immediately married a new woman. They hate eachother, and he still talks about his first wife as his one true love. Extremists definitely exist.

      All in all, it sounds like what you saw was leaning more towards the insular side of things than is standard, but that’s not to say a lesser degree of it isn’t often present.

  77. Brendan
    Brendan
    January 28, 2012 at 5:24 am | #

    Huh… you’d think the cut of that shirt would expose her temple garment.

    • gangler
      gangler
      January 28, 2012 at 5:32 am | #

      She probably hasn’t been endowed. It’s generally done before you go on a mission or before you get married, so it’s not all that outlandish that a college age girl wouldn’t be wearing them yet.

  78. Shade
    Shade
    January 28, 2012 at 4:02 pm | #

    Actually Joyce’s remark of “I thought you said you were atheist” reminds me of the time someone tried to tell me I couldn’t be an atheist because my parents baptised me. I admit that was a new one.

  79. Somebody
    Somebody
    January 28, 2012 at 6:12 pm | #

    Hey, at least she isn’t a Scientologist.

    • Drunken Nordmann
      Drunken Nordmann
      January 28, 2012 at 11:06 pm | #

      Sometimes I forget that they call Scientology a religon overseas. Here they’re just one wacky cult our government keeps an eye on.

      But I think Joyce’s learning – she’s smiling.

  80. JA
    JA
    January 29, 2012 at 12:37 am | #

    Oh Joyce…you are about to get the full college experience of being exposed to many new types of groups and people…

    Is it bad that I find great amusement in watching her nearly pop when she encounters something new (like a Mormon)?

  81. Jeremy
    Jeremy
    February 5, 2012 at 11:40 am | #

    I love the look on Joyce’s face. I have had people give me that look before when I say I am Mormon and they try to censor themselves. Her reaction is actually pretty calm. I had one guy tell me straight out that, his exact words, ” you’re going to Hell”. Still laugh about him though he was a high schooler at a military high school/ college combo and he obviously was like Joyce in that he had lived a very isolated life.

  82. Suki
    Suki
    February 19, 2012 at 9:59 am | #

    I sure wish my history teacher could see all these comments (and in specific this comic). Every day she makes one nasty comment about Catholics and seems to think it’s okay because “she’s talking about history.” It’s really offensive and extremely unprofessional for a college professor and everything. :/

  83. Abyss Phantasia
    Abyss Phantasia
    April 14, 2012 at 8:20 am | #

    But Joyce! Only the Mormons go to heaven!

  84. Deuce Moose
    Deuce Moose
    June 22, 2012 at 12:26 am | #

    Oh man, please tell me Agatha does the “Ask a Mormon” the IU mormons used to set up a table somewhere on campus with a sign that said “Ask me anything”. I think they don’t do it as much anymore, because they were getting heckled by everyone, but it was pretty fun when they did it.

  85. Fabrezz
    Fabrezz
    August 8, 2013 at 1:58 pm | #

    Mormon FTW

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