Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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June 14, 2026

Enlightening

by David M Willis on December 26, 2012 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - If the Shoe Splits
└ Tags: jason, sal

Discussion (110) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    December 26, 2012 at 12:01 am | #

    SHE’S COMIN’

    • LuckyStar7
      LuckyStar7
      December 26, 2012 at 10:43 am | #

      Nobody could stop
      Ain’t nobody could hold her
      Ain’t nobody control her

      SHE’S COMIN’

      She’s here to do her thing
      She’s here to bring the pain
      She’s never ever gonna change

  2. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    December 26, 2012 at 12:02 am | #

    Perhaps follow that smoke with a pancake?

    • Resne
      Resne
      December 26, 2012 at 1:12 am | #

      Pipe and a crepe?

      • That Guy In The Corner That Has No Name
        That Guy In The Corner That Has No Name
        December 26, 2012 at 3:57 am | #

        Blunt and a blitz?

        • EasternEuropeanDessertOfficial
          EasternEuropeanDessertOfficial
          December 27, 2012 at 7:41 pm | #

          Unless you’re suggesting she play football while blazed, I believe you mean “blintz,” my dear fellow.

    • TPman
      TPman
      December 28, 2012 at 1:39 am | #

      Stogie and a flapjack?

  3. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    December 26, 2012 at 12:03 am | #

    Don’t you just hate it when someone scabs a smoke off of ya?

  4. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    December 26, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    ………………I’ve got nothing.

  5. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    December 26, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    And then Sal gets tossed out of school for assault.

    • Mkvenner
      Mkvenner
      December 26, 2012 at 12:09 am | #

      Among other things.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      December 26, 2012 at 12:39 am | #

      Walky has a bad case of Ass Salt.

      • Bekah
        Bekah
        December 26, 2012 at 1:17 am | #

        *faceplam*

    • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
      DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
      December 26, 2012 at 1:12 am | #

      Or Jason caves in, and Sal gets a mulligan of sorts. Whether she blows that one too, only time will tell….Pretty soon.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        December 26, 2012 at 2:48 am | #

        I wasn’t aware that “mulligan” was a euphemism for penis, but I will certainly bear it in mind for future use.

        • Pyr05
          Pyr05
          December 26, 2012 at 2:56 am | #

          Everything is a euphamism for penis.

          • Raoullefere
            Raoullefere
            December 26, 2012 at 5:33 am | #

            God, I hope not. Someone yelling out for ‘everything’ to be inserted to the wrong partner could have some very embarrassing ‘splaining to do in the E.R.

        • mrelegos
          mrelegos
          December 26, 2012 at 9:17 am | #

          That would make Magic the Gathering tournaments rather disturbing.

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            December 27, 2012 at 3:12 pm | #

            At least they wouldn’t be as boring.

  6. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    December 26, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

    Well, she’s certainly got the Batman perp sweating thing down pat.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 26, 2012 at 12:15 am | #

      I imagine Batman got good grades in math, though.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        December 26, 2012 at 12:17 am | #

        Well, of course he did. He trained to be the best in everything.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          December 26, 2012 at 12:28 am | #

          Yeah, he even invented Bat-physics, a new type of physics which allows batarangs and batplanes to fly even when they shouldn’t be able to.

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            December 27, 2012 at 3:13 pm | #

            And breathing in space. Don’t forget breathing in space.

  7. addude
    addude
    December 26, 2012 at 12:15 am | #

    And they end up having sex, angry sex.

    • Atious
      Atious
      December 26, 2012 at 12:17 am | #

      Yes. Yes they do. That’s the first thing that came to my mind. o.o

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 26, 2012 at 12:17 am | #

      I can’t imagine Sal ever really having happy sex.

      I see her and Jason as being a little like Dr. Cox and Jordan on Scrubs. All sex is hate sex, and they love it that way.

      • Wonder Wig
        Wonder Wig
        December 26, 2012 at 12:19 am | #

        If she could do it on a motorcycle she’d be happy.

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          December 26, 2012 at 12:29 am | #

          Joyce is perfectly willing to volunteer for that if the bike is involved.

          • DaJoshMaster
            DaJoshMaster
            December 26, 2012 at 12:02 pm | #

            Is it sex before marrage if it’s a motorbike?

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              December 26, 2012 at 2:50 pm | #

              Not sure, it depends on whenever you can even marry a bike or not in Indiana.

            • Historyman68
              Historyman68
              December 27, 2012 at 2:11 am | #

              It’s not gay if it’s on a motorbike.

            • Dibullba
              Dibullba
              December 27, 2012 at 5:46 am | #

              Premarital Hanky Panky on Motorcyles

              • Wonder Wig
                Wonder Wig
                December 27, 2012 at 11:28 pm | #

                Even worse than card games on motorcycles!

    • Bill M.
      Bill M.
      December 26, 2012 at 12:32 pm | #

      Of course, I got that. She only smokes after sex. Usually she just “jills off” when we’ve seen no obvious partner previously in-comic.

  8. Ragnal
    Ragnal
    December 26, 2012 at 12:24 am | #

    HEY, whoa, cool it there, Sal. Don’t mock the bow tie!

    BOW TIES ARE COOL! 😀

    (Really guys? We even had Doctor Who here and we missed this old joke? :P)

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      December 26, 2012 at 12:27 am | #

      Because no one needs to be reminded that bow ties are cool. It’s self-evident. People who deny it are just fooling themselves.

      • Jeff K!
        Jeff K!
        December 26, 2012 at 8:33 pm | #

        Hey! How dare you infer that Jimmy Olsen isn’t cool! Here, have an article!
        http://www.comicsalliance.com/2012/08/24/ask-chris-118-whats-so-great-about-jimmy-olsen/
        Good day to you, sir!
        *storms off*

        • Jeff K!
          Jeff K!
          December 26, 2012 at 8:55 pm | #

          This comment wound up under the wrong person. It was meant to respond to Raoullefere below.

          • CWR
            CWR
            December 28, 2012 at 4:41 am | #

            Good day to you, sir!
            *jills off*

    • Reboot
      Reboot
      December 26, 2012 at 12:38 am | #

      There was ever any doubt?

      • Raoullefere
        Raoullefere
        December 26, 2012 at 5:37 am | #

        I’m afraid so. Dr. Who’s going to have to labor long and hard to erase the stigma Archie Andrews and Jimmy Olsen have loaded onto bow-ties. Especially since he wants to be a ginger.

        • mrelegos
          mrelegos
          December 26, 2012 at 9:18 am | #

          If anyone can make being a Ginger cool, it’s the Doctor.

          • DaJoshMaster
            DaJoshMaster
            December 26, 2012 at 12:04 pm | #

            Hey. Ginger girls can be uber hot!

            …although I suppose that’s not cool now that I think about it.

        • SaruDa
          SaruDa
          December 26, 2012 at 12:10 pm | #

          But…BILL NYE!!

          • mrelegos
            mrelegos
            December 26, 2012 at 7:55 pm | #

            THE SCIENCE GUY

  9. Jererry
    Jererry
    December 26, 2012 at 12:25 am | #

    Jesus, Sal. I think I have a broken nose from facepalming so hard. That “therapy” suggestion doesn’t seem so bad right about now.

  10. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    December 26, 2012 at 12:30 am | #

    “Are you calling me crazy? I’LL KILL YOU!”

  11. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    December 26, 2012 at 12:37 am | #

    Oh my god! SHE’S GOING TO SMOKE HIM!!!

    • Bekah
      Bekah
      December 26, 2012 at 1:19 am | #

      Where I come from, that’s a euphemism for oral sex.

      • Rex Hondo
        Rex Hondo
        December 26, 2012 at 2:47 am | #

        Well, oral fixation rarely limits itself to one particular form…

    • Pyr05
      Pyr05
      December 26, 2012 at 2:58 am | #

      She’s gonna smoke him hard. And he’ll like it. Cuz he’s told he likes it.

    • Dibullba
      Dibullba
      December 27, 2012 at 5:49 am | #

      And then she will smoke me!
      OOOOOH MY GOOOOOOOD!!!!!!

      • CWR
        CWR
        December 28, 2012 at 4:52 am | #

        DINGO: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! Oh, she is a naughty
        person, and she must pay the penalty — and here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon. You must tie her down on a bed and smoke her!
        GIRLS: A smoking! A smoking!
        DINGO: You must smoke her well. And after you have smoked her, you
        may deal with her as you like. And then, smoke me.
        VARIOUS GIRLS: And smoke me.
        And me.
        And me.
        DINGO: Yes, yes, you must give us all a good smoking!
        GIRLS: A smoking! A smoking!
        DINGO: And after the smoking, the oral sex.
        GIRLS: Oral sex! Oral sex!
        GALAHAD: Well, I could stay a BIT longer.

  12. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    December 26, 2012 at 12:37 am | #

    I think she needs about 5 boxes of nicotine gum and 20 nicotine patches all at the same time to get through one day of not smoking.

    • Moonshine McGee
      Moonshine McGee
      December 26, 2012 at 12:54 am | #

      You know you’ve hit rock bottom when you need usually lethal doses of a drug, just to get up to normal.

  13. Blob Marley
    Blob Marley
    December 26, 2012 at 12:58 am | #

    “And bah ‘smoke,’ ah mean ‘arson.'”

    • LuckyStar7
      LuckyStar7
      December 26, 2012 at 10:50 am | #

      Why can’t she just TP the neighborhood?

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        December 26, 2012 at 7:32 pm | #

        She does – the TP makes good tinder.

    • james
      james
      December 27, 2012 at 12:54 am | #

      with your penis

    • Dibullba
      Dibullba
      December 27, 2012 at 5:51 am | #

      and bah ‘arson’, ah mean your FAAAAAAAAAAAAACCEEEEEE

  14. Jehosaphat
    Jehosaphat
    December 26, 2012 at 1:28 am | #

    NOW KISS!!!

    • Aslee
      Aslee
      December 26, 2012 at 2:39 am | #

      My sentiments exactly.

  15. Scot
    Scot
    December 26, 2012 at 2:34 am | #

    Jason, thats your cue.

    Give her something to smoke.

    • Scot
      Scot
      December 26, 2012 at 2:35 am | #

      Out of all the characters I could have gotten for a gravitar for that post….why

      • Pyr05
        Pyr05
        December 26, 2012 at 2:59 am | #

        Because it makes your comment SO much more awkward if it was coming from Walky.

        • Tenn
          Tenn
          December 26, 2012 at 4:17 am | #

          “Hey sis! I’ve been in a girl’s bed! With a girl! I had such a huge BONER! You should totally try being in a girl’s bed too! Except with a guy. With a BONER! Like that guy with the bowtie. Didjaknow he was eaten by a dinosaur once? Man, I like, TOTALLY almost had sex! From behind! With my BONER! You think he has a bowtie on his boner? You should find out! Man, I feel so great! BONER!”

          …and now my brain is trying to imagine what a conversation between Walky and Faz would be like. -_-

          • LuckyStar7
            LuckyStar7
            December 26, 2012 at 10:47 am | #

            Intimate destruction. 😉

          • DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
            DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
            December 26, 2012 at 1:11 pm | #

            Like Sal would let Walky complete that paragraph…

  16. Dr.Z
    Dr.Z
    December 26, 2012 at 7:58 am | #

    Did you miss the part where you can be expelled &/or arrested for threatening &/or hurting a professor in college, Sal?

    Get in a study group and stop acting like an entitled baby.

    • DaJoshMaster
      DaJoshMaster
      December 26, 2012 at 11:59 am | #

      Did you miss the part in It’s Walky where she’s psycotic? 😛

      • Dr.Z
        Dr.Z
        December 27, 2012 at 7:07 am | #

        Too bad they don’t make exceptions in expulsions for being the crazy person. 😉

    • JA
      JA
      December 26, 2012 at 12:23 pm | #

      It’s a webomic. It’s art, not real life.

      • Jererry
        Jererry
        December 26, 2012 at 11:54 pm | #

        Look up a concept called “verisimilitude” and then get back to me. If the fictional world seems totally devoid of rules, we have no expectations and any plot twists won’t matter. It will feel arbitrary. Trust me, this comic will require a follow-up to explain itself, because as an audience, we all know there are consequences for actions. If not, whatever Sal does can only be interesting in a base, shock-value way. I’m pretty sure Willis is a much better writer than that.

        • JA
          JA
          December 27, 2012 at 12:28 am | #

          Not sure how verisimilitude is applicable here, but Sal seems to be following the rules of her character, authority be damned.

        • Dr.Z
          Dr.Z
          December 27, 2012 at 7:14 am | #

          The original post I made is just my natural reaction to the situation.

          The comic itself does a bold thing were drama and comical hijinks crash, mate, eat their offspring, and battle in quibbage.

          It makes it so I’m, personally, never sure if we will see consequences (drama), or it just gets a pass for da laughs (hijinks), or a weird, alien hybrid chest-buster (Hijima? Drajinks?).

          Personally, I’d prefer drama-consequences a bit here, as I’ve seen a lot of this BS from students at college, and them getting disciplined.

  17. mrelegos
    mrelegos
    December 26, 2012 at 9:21 am | #

    Sal’s dialogue becomes amazingly good if you read it in the voice of Rogue from X-Men evolution.

    • james
      james
      December 26, 2012 at 9:25 am | #

      TAS is better

      (especially for Storm)

      • David
        David M Willis
        December 26, 2012 at 2:55 pm | #

        aaaaaaaagh

        FoX-Men Storm is the absolute worst voice for any character in all of recorded history. She sounds like friggin’ Eagle Man.

        I’m not sure if it was the talent’s fault or the amazingly awful dialogue she had to say.

        Everyone else’s voices/dialogue were merely absolutely terrible, but Storm was kind of the shit pickle on top of the shit sandwich.

        • Shariku Onikage
          Shariku Onikage
          December 26, 2012 at 3:11 pm | #

          Aw, i loved the voices for that series. Even now i can fondly remember Storm shouting things like ‘Storm, MISTRESS OF THE ELEMENTS, commands you to release that child!’

          Cyclops had his moments too, with things like ‘Do it, Jean. USE THE POWER OF YOUR MIND!’

          Classic.

          • David
            David M Willis
            December 26, 2012 at 5:00 pm | #

            http://www.shortpacked.com/2011/blog/shes-got-something-for-youuuuu/

            • ArkhamTexan
              ArkhamTexan
              December 26, 2012 at 5:29 pm | #

              The thing is, Storm sounded weird when she WASN’T doing her large ham moments. She was absolutely atrocious when she was just speaking normally. And didn’t they change the voice actress for her at some point? To something WORSE?

              Rogue’s voice actress was pretty awesome too. Same for Wolverine’s and everyone else’s. Storm was also delightful in its badness. Clearly, the money to make the cartoon went into the gourmet ham and cheese sammiches that made up the actors’ paychecks.

            • DavidMcG
              DavidMcG
              December 26, 2012 at 10:04 pm | #

              I know you’re really invested in this Eagle Man hypothesis, but she sounds a lot more like Doctor Orpheus.

              • ArkhamTexan
                ArkhamTexan
                December 26, 2012 at 11:18 pm | #

                Yeah, Eagle Man didn’t sound anything like Storm. Doctor Orpheaus, on the other hand… except the good doctor made actually speaking like that believable.

        • james
          james
          December 26, 2012 at 6:40 pm | #

          FOOL!!!!!!!!!! YOU DARE TO MOCK THE MISTRESS OF THE ELEMENTS!?

          I Summon Halle Berry Performance! Know now what horrid voices sound like and suffer!

        • mrelegos
          mrelegos
          December 26, 2012 at 7:55 pm | #

          I will defend X-Men Evolution as the superior show to my dying breath.

          It had Shadowcat, ergo, it was better.

          Also, the Voice Cast were near identical to the greatest cartoon ever: Class of The Titans.

          • David
            David M Willis
            December 26, 2012 at 9:13 pm | #

            Evolution was the closest I’ve ever gotten to being interested in the X-Men.

            • Parismio
              Parismio
              December 26, 2012 at 11:26 pm | #

              Well what about Wolverine and the X-men? What did you think of that?

              • james
                james
                December 27, 2012 at 12:51 am | #

                loved it glad to see Emma was killed and Really wished they got a season 2 (Age of Apocalypse!)

              • mrelegos
                mrelegos
                December 27, 2012 at 7:42 am | #

                Wolverine and the X-men has it’s main problem in it’s name.

                I don’t give a rats ass about Wolverine.

                • james
                  james
                  December 27, 2012 at 5:54 pm | #

                  which is weired since Logan is not the center of attention in the show.

                  kurt’s and gambits epd were the best

            • Dr.Z
              Dr.Z
              December 27, 2012 at 7:25 am | #

              This is objective prof you have no soul, Willis.

              Bishie Nightcrawler was so awesome.

              And they made me give a toss about Avalanche, who up till them was a character I thought had no value over ‘Mook #4.’

        • Dr.Z
          Dr.Z
          December 27, 2012 at 7:21 am | #

          “FoX-Men Storm is the absolute worst voice for any character in all of recorded history. She sounds like friggin’ Eagle Man.”

          No. She sounds like Comedy Gold.

          She sounds like Dr. DOOM, with bewbs & a good meds. How can you not laugh your butt off at that??? 😀

          “Everyone else’s voices/dialogue were merely absolutely terrible…”

          Dialog all around? I’ll defiantly agree.

          But Rouge & Wolverine’s voice work was awesome.

          This is objective fact. 🙂

          • james
            james
            December 27, 2012 at 5:57 pm | #

            not to mention it the fox VA that were used in most of old capcom fighting games.

            Now fox’s Avengers cartoon…..whooo boy that was bad

  18. LuckyStar7
    LuckyStar7
    December 26, 2012 at 10:38 am | #

    Now kiss.

  19. JA
    JA
    December 26, 2012 at 12:24 pm | #

    Don’t make Sal angry. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.

  20. Charles The Jolly
    Charles The Jolly
    December 26, 2012 at 1:59 pm | #

    Presumably she’ll get called out in the form of arrest or detainment for this, and there are two ways I can see this going from there: Either she, discouraged by worsening grades and by people still thinking she’s an idiot, quits — or she cools down and stays determined. Probably the latter. Sal gets pissed, but probably pissed enough to not give her detractors (real or imagined) the satisfaction of being right.

  21. Charles The Jolly
    Charles The Jolly
    December 26, 2012 at 2:09 pm | #

    Sal will probably get arrested or detained for this, and this can go two ways from there: She might, discouraged by her lowering grades and people thinking she’s an idiot, quit the course. Or she might cool down and stay determined to study. Probably the latter — she is impatient and unruly and all, but can probably get mad enough to prove her detractors (real or imagined) wrong.

  22. Raibean
    Raibean
    December 26, 2012 at 2:11 pm | #

    I ship it.

  23. Anonymous
    Anonymous
    December 26, 2012 at 2:31 pm | #

    A smoking addiction apparently makes Sal twice as sociopathic. O.O (Ignoring severely-under-influence-of-brainwashing times.)

    As a non-smoker, this sort of thing makes me want to point and ask “See? /See?/ Was starting smoking /really/ worth it?”.

  24. BrunDeign
    BrunDeign
    December 26, 2012 at 5:18 pm | #

    If this doesn’t end in sex I will be severely disappointed.

  25. ArkhamTexan
    ArkhamTexan
    December 26, 2012 at 5:30 pm | #

    See, this is why I have my rule: you don’t date crazy.

    … you sleep with crazy for one night and then get the hell out of there before they wake up in the morning.

  26. nothri
    nothri
    December 26, 2012 at 5:46 pm | #

    Sal: Jason.

    Jason: Sally!

    Sal: There’s something you should know!

    Jason: What is it Sally?
    Sal: I came….

    Jason: What?

    Sal: ….to this office….

    Jason: Oh.

    Sal: To deliver a message….

    Jason: What is it, Sally….

    Sal: HOT CHICKS ON MOTORCYCLES!

    Jason: Hot chicks on motorcycles?

    Sal: Hot chicks on motorcycles!

    Jason: Walky! Did you hear that? Hot chicks on motorcycles!

    Walky: Hot chicks on motorcycles!

    Billie: Hot chicks on motorcycles!

    Ruth: Hot chicks on mororcycles!

    Amazigirl: Hot chicks on motorcycles!

    Dina: Hot chicks on motorcycles!

    Dorothy: Hot chicks on motorcycles!

    Joyce: Card games on motorcycles (Joyce fail)

    Sal: Jason!

    Jason: What is it, Sally?

    Sal: I came….

    Jason: ……

    Sal: Heh heh.

    Jason: WWWWWWHHHHHHAAAAAAATTTTT?

    • nothri
      nothri
      December 27, 2012 at 9:50 am | #

      Wow. That was funnier before I went to bed.

  27. ruinah
    ruinah
    December 26, 2012 at 5:59 pm | #

    Unrelated: So this appeared on a website I was recently linked to: http://i.imgur.com/IIePE.png

  28. hoop
    hoop
    December 26, 2012 at 8:45 pm | #

    And this is the part where Any Sane Faculty would be contacting Student Life and filing a report.

    • Dr.Z
      Dr.Z
      December 27, 2012 at 7:27 am | #

      Indeed! (Firm nod.)

    • DaJoshMaster
      DaJoshMaster
      December 27, 2012 at 10:41 pm | #

      I expect he will. Jason seems exceedingly level headed.

  29. Storel
    Storel
    March 6, 2013 at 12:58 am | #

    So… is she implying that she’s about to smoke his bow tie?

  30. TheManwhodidEverythingandhasNoFriends
    TheManwhodidEverythingandhasNoFriends
    April 19, 2013 at 2:28 am | #

    AH NEED A SMOKE, BOWTIE.
    …
    Classic.

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