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Whatever gets the crazy lady out of your room, right Mike? ^_^
(Me, I would have just said “Mind closing the door? I’m changing my clothes”. Either she clues in and leaves, or my morning gets much more interesting.)
His ultimate target is Dorothy. He must prevent her from obtaining any position in government so that Galasso can TAKE OVER THE WORLD. In such a world Mike’s assholery would be made ifinitely more effective. This way, Mike can be certain that when he dies, humanity will build statues in his image to remind people of what an asshole he is, and his assholishness will last forever.
To get Dorothy to personally intervene and disrobe Walky in front of Danny to prove to him that there is indeed a man made of caramel who currently has no shoes.
I’d just thought that Mike was trying to increase the maximum amount of awkwardness/sufffering in this scene while under the pretense of being a good friend (and partially because he actually likes Walky <3).
But your idea makes much more sense. On the other hand, your idea makes more sense, so maybe it's wrong and Mike's just a dick.
He’s still a dick in this universe but it seems to be more of a ‘tough love’ approach. Attending the gender studies class got Dorothy to stop trying to hide Walky and show she did care.
Going by Audiophillie’s theory, that’d mean his goal is probably to get Walky to confront this awkward moment, get past it and get the shoes.
He wants Walky to get the shoes from Danny with no fuss because he knows that later on Danny will find out the truth and be hurt far more by the charade and thee length of his ignorance than anything that could happen today.
I thought you were about to make the Mike Hunt joke. Then I thought you were referencing the Monty Python and the Holy Grail French castle joke (which none of my friends figured out and I only realized what was up decades later, despite dozens of non-stoned viewings). Then I thought…man, I really overthink the hell out of things.
Mike works kind of like a lot of chaotic planners that way. Each step does lead towards a larger success, but each step is itself a success not at all contingent on any other successes. Think of it like each action is a Jerk-Thread. At a later date he can assemble these Jerk-Threads into a Jerk-Tapestry if all goes well, but if a couple threads get lost in the mix he can still make a Jerk-Rug or a Jerk-Scarf or some Jerk-Mittens or a humble Jerk-Handkerchief or maybe some Jerk-Teacozies or failing any of that he’s still got a ball of Jerk-Yarn that was pretty fun to make in its own right. Not like he lost anything because he didn’t get to make that cool tapestry.
I once shipped my stapler with my coffee mug. Yes, I know the mug is in a relationship with the pencil sharpener, but I choose to ignore that in my personal canon.
The pencil sharpener is a slut. Cheating on the mug ten times a day , multiple penetrations with other household objects.
What kind of message does that send to our children, I ask you? Wholesome fiction supports love and fidelity–and looks down on abuseive relationships full of lies!
I ship coffee mug and stapler forever.
Gee, talk about double standards!So if you’re penetrated a lot, you’re a slut, but if you go around penetrating other things, you’re a decent upstanding piece of stationery? Perhaps the mug should go talk to some of the discarded paper the stapler has heartlessly used and abandoned.
What kind of a world forces poor sharpeners to hide their sexual desires just because we see it as “slutty? The rubbish kind!
I ship sharpener x whatever pencil she want!
The tribulation revelation is not what you’d think
Nothing of pathfinding is ready for link
Look! Look deeper in the plans that are thus
A second intention is brimmed with the such
Never let your expectation e’er begin to rust
Or our blonde friend will have you reeling too much
That was actually the first thing that came to my mind: a significant difference between Roomies!Danny and Dumbverse!Danny (Sorry about the exclamation point, but I like it.) is that Dumbverse!Danny swears.
Mike in underage in this universe (doesn’t stop Billie, I know), so I think it would be funny if he’d never gotten drunk before. That way when he finally tried it, his turning nice will be as shocking to him as it is to everyone else.
“Blurgh, what did I do last night?” (Digs through pockets) “A receipt for donating to charity…a thank you note from Joyce for chaperoning her church’s purity ball…membership card to the Mr. Rogers fanclub?!”
Maybe Mike is just not that much of an asshole. I mean, he’s just some eighteen-year-old college kid. No aliens at all! He’d put books in Walky’s backpack but he’d take some flack for him.
Oooooor…he’s trying to get Danny jealous enough to try and get Dorothy back and drop Amber. Hmmmm.
Or I’m just coming up with theories and I’ve had far too little sleep.
This being an alternate universe, it was completely possible for Mike to turn out nice in this world, unless a mean Mike is a fundamental constant of the multiverse, like the speed of light or taxes.
I don’t feel confident to theorise on the specifics, but given that it’s Mike, I predict this ruse will end up hurting someone’s feelings temporarily, helping Mike in some way, and ultimately contribute to the betterment and happiness of everyone involved. Except Mike.
Considering how raw a deal Danny got from Dorothy, Mike is honestly doing him a favor by forcing her to fess up to it. Whether or not Walky gets burned remains to be seen (as he’ll probably also stand up for himself here), but Dorothy needs to catch a bit of fire here and at least admit that she broke up with him only to date someone new and invalidate her argument.
Mike is Mike. He always has an ulterior motive for everything he does, good bad, or indifferent. I think the only person he may actually feel anything for is Joyce. I think maybe because he is still trying to figure her out, so he will protect her until he does. As for Walky, well he did get him jeans pj’s and we saw how that turned out: confusing. Walky ended up embarassed but he also ended up with his girl. I sorta think he is protecting Walky here-just no idea why.
If he started with the truth Danny would disbelieve him, Dorothy might have hid, and Walky might deny it leaving him standing there looking stupid. By claiming he’s the new boyfriend he can keep pushing the discussion, catch Dorothy flatfooted so he’d have time to reveal her, and goad Walky into jumping in and claiming the boyfriend title, all with the result of forcing Danny to realize that yes, he was dumped because Dorothy got tired of him but it’s not about studying, it’s about the fact he’s not caramel.
So. he’s using a lie to get the truth out. Does that count?
Reckon he’s winging it. Like a chess master given 20 seconds to solve a tricky problem. If there’s a Dorothy on the board, she’s probably part of the solution.
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Okay, I did not see that coming.
I actually read Mike’s bubble in panel 2 and thought he was just saying that Dorothy was dating Walky. Took me a second read to get it right.
Our brain set for different ending. Time to reset it.
Booting from drive “Mike is a sly motherfucker.”
…
You MAGNIFICENT BASTARD.
I READ YOUR BOOK!
“It’s part of a greater plan to slowly drive him insane.”
/Sealab
I did.
First Amber in Shortpacked
then Dorothy in DOA? Just like Willis… he has a type
Whatever gets the crazy lady out of your room, right Mike? ^_^
(Me, I would have just said “Mind closing the door? I’m changing my clothes”. Either she clues in and leaves, or my morning gets much more interesting.)
Okay, theories on what Mike’s overall plan for this is go.
His ultimate target is Dorothy. He must prevent her from obtaining any position in government so that Galasso can TAKE OVER THE WORLD. In such a world Mike’s assholery would be made ifinitely more effective. This way, Mike can be certain that when he dies, humanity will build statues in his image to remind people of what an asshole he is, and his assholishness will last forever.
To get Dorothy to personally intervene and disrobe Walky in front of Danny to prove to him that there is indeed a man made of caramel who currently has no shoes.
I think he’s trying to get Walky to say that he’s the one dating Dorothy. That’s all I got so far.
I’d just thought that Mike was trying to increase the maximum amount of awkwardness/sufffering in this scene while under the pretense of being a good friend (and partially because he actually likes Walky <3).
But your idea makes much more sense. On the other hand, your idea makes more sense, so maybe it's wrong and Mike's just a dick.
He’s still a dick in this universe but it seems to be more of a ‘tough love’ approach. Attending the gender studies class got Dorothy to stop trying to hide Walky and show she did care.
Going by Audiophillie’s theory, that’d mean his goal is probably to get Walky to confront this awkward moment, get past it and get the shoes.
I think he’s helping Danny by inciting his rage against Dorothy, enabling him to move on.
Joyce dear… Mike’s a Dick.
You stole both my name AND my gravatar.
Unless gravatars have changed now…
He wants to confuse Dorothy so he can have Walky to himself.
He wants all of that caramel to himself.
He wants Walky to get the shoes from Danny with no fuss because he knows that later on Danny will find out the truth and be hurt far more by the charade and thee length of his ignorance than anything that could happen today.
Yeah, I think you’ve got it.
I think it’s Supermike to the rescue of awkward situation by amping up the awkward in a new and exciting way!
His plan?
Pain. Pain is his plan.
Some men just want to watch the world whimper.
I think he’s just mad that Dorothy chose his room to duck into.
Mike is such a gigantic asshole.
Or he’s covering for Walky. Danny might look relatively harmless but it’s the harmless guys that you just have to watch out for.
Are you insinuating that Mike is helping someone!? Send this man into the hole! He’s clearly not sane!
Well, Mike usually has a hidden agenda of some sort so his “help” might be a double edged blade.
Mike’s dastardliness is even in his name. It stands for Motherly Intercourse Knickle Enterprise.
I thought you were about to make the Mike Hunt joke. Then I thought you were referencing the Monty Python and the Holy Grail French castle joke (which none of my friends figured out and I only realized what was up decades later, despite dozens of non-stoned viewings). Then I thought…man, I really overthink the hell out of things.
The question is, is this a means to an end or a goal in itself?
For Mike, the means is the goal.
Mike works kind of like a lot of chaotic planners that way. Each step does lead towards a larger success, but each step is itself a success not at all contingent on any other successes. Think of it like each action is a Jerk-Thread. At a later date he can assemble these Jerk-Threads into a Jerk-Tapestry if all goes well, but if a couple threads get lost in the mix he can still make a Jerk-Rug or a Jerk-Scarf or some Jerk-Mittens or a humble Jerk-Handkerchief or maybe some Jerk-Teacozies or failing any of that he’s still got a ball of Jerk-Yarn that was pretty fun to make in its own right. Not like he lost anything because he didn’t get to make that cool tapestry.
This ^. A thousand times, this.
You need to write a children’s book.
I am in awe of you right now.
This is quite possibly the best metaphor ever.
and appropriate gravitar to boot.
I think the Jerk-Hankerchief is simply referred to as a jerkerchief – that’s it’s ‘street name’.
Yo.
Would you like your marriage proposal to be conveyed by airmail or dancing elf courier squad?
Nice
And…the agent of chaos strikes again.
Mike’d.
Mike Warner, Agent of C.H.A.O.S.
David Walkerton, Agent of C.A.R.A.M.E.L.
Just when you think you have Mike figured out…you don’t have Mike figured out. Yeah. That’s all I’ve got, sorry.
O hai Dorothy!
How’s you’re sex life?
Stop standing back there like a chicken:
cheep cheep cheep cheeeeEEEeeEEep.
That’s a funny story, Yotomoe.
Danny’s reaction to this news: “Evvybody betray me! I’m fed up with this whorl!”
It seems that Mike is an eeexpert.
And then Billie ended up in a hospital on Guerrero Street.
Hahaha. What a story, Originalslugboy.
What are you talking about? I just saw you.
You are tearing me apart, Julian.
I can ship it.
To shippers, you can ship anyone with anyone. Heck, they would ship two characters just because he/she said hi to the other person.
I once shipped my stapler with my coffee mug. Yes, I know the mug is in a relationship with the pencil sharpener, but I choose to ignore that in my personal canon.
Stop pressuring them. They’ll never live up to your expectations.
Staple Remover x Paper Clip holder forever!
The mug is only dating the pencil sharpener to begin with because Joe Quesada used the Robot Devil to eliminate his marriage to the mouse pad.
Hahahahahaha! Comment of the year nominee.
The pencil sharpener is a slut. Cheating on the mug ten times a day , multiple penetrations with other household objects.
What kind of message does that send to our children, I ask you? Wholesome fiction supports love and fidelity–and looks down on abuseive relationships full of lies!
I ship coffee mug and stapler forever.
Gee, talk about double standards!So if you’re penetrated a lot, you’re a slut, but if you go around penetrating other things, you’re a decent upstanding piece of stationery? Perhaps the mug should go talk to some of the discarded paper the stapler has heartlessly used and abandoned.
What kind of a world forces poor sharpeners to hide their sexual desires just because we see it as “slutty? The rubbish kind!
I ship sharpener x whatever pencil she want!
Oh, but the stapler can get with as many pieces of paper as he wants?
The tribulation revelation is not what you’d think
Nothing of pathfinding is ready for link
Look! Look deeper in the plans that are thus
A second intention is brimmed with the such
Never let your expectation e’er begin to rust
Or our blonde friend will have you reeling too much
Did you just make Mike into an Eldritch Abomination?
I think Mike did that.
Does he really need all those extra tentacles?
Extra tentacles are a feature, not a bug.
Unless you are Yuki.
Okay, so why in the hell did I misread “tentacles” as “testicles”?
Mike doesn’t need extra testicles, he already has two huge ones
Danny said a bad word.
DANNY SAID A BAD WORD. D:
Yeah, the only person who doesn’t swear in this universe is Joyce.
That was actually the first thing that came to my mind: a significant difference between Roomies!Danny and Dumbverse!Danny (Sorry about the exclamation point, but I like it.) is that Dumbverse!Danny swears.
Even Becky?
Quick, alert the church elders!
There are no bad words. Except that one you just thought of. You know it. Stop thinking of it now. It’s bad.
In my headcanon, the only real swear word is ‘the’.
Everyone swears like a mofo.
Except, ironically, Russians.
(Well, and Turks and Finns and most of East Asia, etc.)
Haha, surprise assholery! I mean, no one is surprised that he was an asshole, but the way he was an asshole was surprising.
Anal sphincter is the scientific term I believe.
Why not break one heart when Mike can break two at once?
Now that’s efficiency!
Well, efficient if Walky actually believe that or Mike (forced a) kiss with Dorothy in the next comic.
not sure if mike’s bein a good guy and helping cover for walky
or if he’s being really really evil
Time will tell…. sooner or later…. time will tell…
Both.
Could Mike be drunk this early in the day? Or is that just Shortpacked Mike?
Either way, his cheeks aren’t rosy
Mike in underage in this universe (doesn’t stop Billie, I know), so I think it would be funny if he’d never gotten drunk before. That way when he finally tried it, his turning nice will be as shocking to him as it is to everyone else.
“Blurgh, what did I do last night?” (Digs through pockets) “A receipt for donating to charity…a thank you note from Joyce for chaperoning her church’s purity ball…membership card to the Mr. Rogers fanclub?!”
Whoa that actually would be a pretty cool storyline.
Of course, now that it has appeared in the forums, David can’t write it that way…
Maybe Mike is just not that much of an asshole. I mean, he’s just some eighteen-year-old college kid. No aliens at all! He’d put books in Walky’s backpack but he’d take some flack for him.
Oooooor…he’s trying to get Danny jealous enough to try and get Dorothy back and drop Amber. Hmmmm.
Or I’m just coming up with theories and I’ve had far too little sleep.
This being an alternate universe, it was completely possible for Mike to turn out nice in this world, unless a mean Mike is a fundamental constant of the multiverse, like the speed of light or taxes.
I don’t feel confident to theorise on the specifics, but given that it’s Mike, I predict this ruse will end up hurting someone’s feelings temporarily, helping Mike in some way, and ultimately contribute to the betterment and happiness of everyone involved. Except Mike.
Mike is whatever you don’t want him to be.
Haha, this is why I love Mike.
Considering how raw a deal Danny got from Dorothy, Mike is honestly doing him a favor by forcing her to fess up to it. Whether or not Walky gets burned remains to be seen (as he’ll probably also stand up for himself here), but Dorothy needs to catch a bit of fire here and at least admit that she broke up with him only to date someone new and invalidate her argument.
In other news, who wants to do voice acting for a Dumbing of Age Not Even A Motion Comic?
http://randomfanboy.tumblr.com/post/36109810252/hey-dumbing-of-age-fans
http://randomfanboy.tumblr.com/post/36120877615/randomfanboy-okay-now-ive-gotten-some
(I put this here because some people might be interested but not have Tumblr and thus not know)
Mike is Mike. He always has an ulterior motive for everything he does, good bad, or indifferent. I think the only person he may actually feel anything for is Joyce. I think maybe because he is still trying to figure her out, so he will protect her until he does. As for Walky, well he did get him jeans pj’s and we saw how that turned out: confusing. Walky ended up embarassed but he also ended up with his girl. I sorta think he is protecting Walky here-just no idea why.
Maybe he is actually trying to help them this time (because the potential drama would annoy him)?
Two words will explain it all -> Pajama Pants
Wow, that was totally unexpected!
On another subject. Noone is going to reach class on time, are they?
ah, yes there is that Karai. Mike is hitting Danny between the eyes with that.
…whoa. That means Mike is doing something NICE (in a way that means he can be a dick!)
Well, we just have to wait for the other shoe to drop, then we will see his nefarious plan.
Because when you and someone else notice each other some gesture of acknowledgement is appropriate
I doubt Danny will appreciate the gesture.
Mike is capable of doing good. He just likes to inflict suffering while he is at it.
Huh. Lying.
I’m used to Mike using the truth to dick people.
If he started with the truth Danny would disbelieve him, Dorothy might have hid, and Walky might deny it leaving him standing there looking stupid. By claiming he’s the new boyfriend he can keep pushing the discussion, catch Dorothy flatfooted so he’d have time to reveal her, and goad Walky into jumping in and claiming the boyfriend title, all with the result of forcing Danny to realize that yes, he was dumped because Dorothy got tired of him but it’s not about studying, it’s about the fact he’s not caramel.
So. he’s using a lie to get the truth out. Does that count?
Reckon he’s winging it. Like a chess master given 20 seconds to solve a tricky problem. If there’s a Dorothy on the board, she’s probably part of the solution.
It sucks to be put on the spot doesn’t it DOROTHY???
I like the idea of this being an Ultimates version of Mike- you know one that’s still a dick but to a lesser degree
“For your information, Dorothy and I pound each other every night in the most epic of hatefucks.”
Awkward at a magnitude of 16…
Cannot tell if trolling or genuinely helping, just in the most dickish way he could think of.
Mike never really helps. It just seems that way when he underestimates people and ends up helping them in the long-run.
>.>
So Mike was in Dorothy’s room in his boxers?
What.
Wait, what? What’s his plan!? What angle I he working
Sure, Mike COULD throw Walky and Dorothy under the bus, or he can just blindfold them and let them walk themselves
Does any one else just find themselves automatically waving at inappropriate times, or am I alone with Dorothy on this one?