Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 12, 2026

Waving

by David M Willis on November 20, 2012 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - If the Shoe Splits
└ Tags: danny, dorothy, mike, walky

Discussion (122) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Wack'd
    Wack'd
    November 20, 2012 at 12:04 am | #

    Okay, I did not see that coming.

    • Mogotoo
      Mogotoo
      November 20, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

      I actually read Mike’s bubble in panel 2 and thought he was just saying that Dorothy was dating Walky. Took me a second read to get it right.

      • AckAckAck
        AckAckAck
        November 20, 2012 at 12:33 am | #

        Our brain set for different ending. Time to reset it.

        • Resne
          Resne
          November 20, 2012 at 2:03 am | #

          Booting from drive “Mike is a sly motherfucker.”

          …

          You MAGNIFICENT BASTARD.

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            November 20, 2012 at 2:12 am | #

            I READ YOUR BOOK!

          • Tucker
            Tucker
            November 20, 2012 at 2:26 pm | #

            “It’s part of a greater plan to slowly drive him insane.”

            /Sealab

    • Scout
      Scout
      November 27, 2012 at 12:12 pm | #

      I did.
      First Amber in Shortpacked
      then Dorothy in DOA? Just like Willis… he has a type 😛

    • Hinoron
      Hinoron
      December 12, 2012 at 12:00 pm | #

      Whatever gets the crazy lady out of your room, right Mike? ^_^

      (Me, I would have just said “Mind closing the door? I’m changing my clothes”. Either she clues in and leaves, or my morning gets much more interesting.)

  2. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    November 20, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

    Okay, theories on what Mike’s overall plan for this is go.

    • Squidiggles
      Squidiggles
      November 20, 2012 at 12:18 am | #

      His ultimate target is Dorothy. He must prevent her from obtaining any position in government so that Galasso can TAKE OVER THE WORLD. In such a world Mike’s assholery would be made ifinitely more effective. This way, Mike can be certain that when he dies, humanity will build statues in his image to remind people of what an asshole he is, and his assholishness will last forever.

    • GenericScreenName101
      GenericScreenName101
      November 20, 2012 at 12:28 am | #

      To get Dorothy to personally intervene and disrobe Walky in front of Danny to prove to him that there is indeed a man made of caramel who currently has no shoes.

    • Audiophillie
      Audiophillie
      November 20, 2012 at 12:42 am | #

      I think he’s trying to get Walky to say that he’s the one dating Dorothy. That’s all I got so far.

      • Groove
        Groove
        November 20, 2012 at 4:00 am | #

        I’d just thought that Mike was trying to increase the maximum amount of awkwardness/sufffering in this scene while under the pretense of being a good friend (and partially because he actually likes Walky <3).

        But your idea makes much more sense. On the other hand, your idea makes more sense, so maybe it's wrong and Mike's just a dick.

        • David Herbert
          David Herbert
          November 20, 2012 at 9:14 am | #

          He’s still a dick in this universe but it seems to be more of a ‘tough love’ approach. Attending the gender studies class got Dorothy to stop trying to hide Walky and show she did care.

          Going by Audiophillie’s theory, that’d mean his goal is probably to get Walky to confront this awkward moment, get past it and get the shoes.

    • Steven
      Steven
      November 20, 2012 at 1:36 am | #

      I think he’s helping Danny by inciting his rage against Dorothy, enabling him to move on.

      • DaJoshMaster
        DaJoshMaster
        November 20, 2012 at 4:22 am | #

        Joyce dear… Mike’s a Dick. 😛

      • Steven
        Steven
        November 20, 2012 at 6:04 am | #

        You stole both my name AND my gravatar.
        Unless gravatars have changed now…

    • Geegles
      Geegles
      November 20, 2012 at 1:41 am | #

      He wants to confuse Dorothy so he can have Walky to himself.

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        November 20, 2012 at 1:52 am | #

        He wants all of that caramel to himself.

    • Rowen Morland
      Rowen Morland
      November 20, 2012 at 3:15 am | #

      He wants Walky to get the shoes from Danny with no fuss because he knows that later on Danny will find out the truth and be hurt far more by the charade and thee length of his ignorance than anything that could happen today.

      • Kryss LaBryn
        Kryss LaBryn
        November 20, 2012 at 8:56 am | #

        Yeah, I think you’ve got it.

    • Kaci
      Kaci
      November 20, 2012 at 1:44 pm | #

      I think it’s Supermike to the rescue of awkward situation by amping up the awkward in a new and exciting way!

    • penguintruth
      penguintruth
      November 20, 2012 at 3:54 pm | #

      His plan?

      Pain. Pain is his plan.

      Some men just want to watch the world whimper.

    • Kintrex
      Kintrex
      November 20, 2012 at 7:29 pm | #

      I think he’s just mad that Dorothy chose his room to duck into.

  3. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    November 20, 2012 at 12:06 am | #

    Mike is such a gigantic asshole.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      November 20, 2012 at 12:13 am | #

      Or he’s covering for Walky. Danny might look relatively harmless but it’s the harmless guys that you just have to watch out for.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        November 20, 2012 at 12:23 am | #

        Are you insinuating that Mike is helping someone!? Send this man into the hole! He’s clearly not sane!

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          November 20, 2012 at 12:26 am | #

          Well, Mike usually has a hidden agenda of some sort so his “help” might be a double edged blade.

          • Wonder Wig
            Wonder Wig
            November 20, 2012 at 12:48 am | #

            Mike’s dastardliness is even in his name. It stands for Motherly Intercourse Knickle Enterprise.

            • CWR
              CWR
              November 20, 2012 at 6:07 am | #

              I thought you were about to make the Mike Hunt joke. Then I thought you were referencing the Monty Python and the Holy Grail French castle joke (which none of my friends figured out and I only realized what was up decades later, despite dozens of non-stoned viewings). Then I thought…man, I really overthink the hell out of things.

  4. Tristan J
    Tristan J
    November 20, 2012 at 12:07 am | #

    The question is, is this a means to an end or a goal in itself?

    • Bekah
      Bekah
      November 20, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

      For Mike, the means is the goal.

    • gangler
      gangler
      November 20, 2012 at 12:24 am | #

      Mike works kind of like a lot of chaotic planners that way. Each step does lead towards a larger success, but each step is itself a success not at all contingent on any other successes. Think of it like each action is a Jerk-Thread. At a later date he can assemble these Jerk-Threads into a Jerk-Tapestry if all goes well, but if a couple threads get lost in the mix he can still make a Jerk-Rug or a Jerk-Scarf or some Jerk-Mittens or a humble Jerk-Handkerchief or maybe some Jerk-Teacozies or failing any of that he’s still got a ball of Jerk-Yarn that was pretty fun to make in its own right. Not like he lost anything because he didn’t get to make that cool tapestry.

      • J-Dawg
        J-Dawg
        November 20, 2012 at 12:36 am | #

        This ^. A thousand times, this.

      • Historyman68
        Historyman68
        November 20, 2012 at 1:09 am | #

        You need to write a children’s book.

      • Tristan J
        Tristan J
        November 20, 2012 at 1:24 am | #

        I am in awe of you right now.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        November 20, 2012 at 1:27 am | #

        This is quite possibly the best metaphor ever.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        November 20, 2012 at 1:39 am | #

        and appropriate gravitar to boot.

      • CWR
        CWR
        November 20, 2012 at 6:10 am | #

        I think the Jerk-Hankerchief is simply referred to as a jerkerchief – that’s it’s ‘street name’.

        Yo.

      • Egg
        Egg
        November 20, 2012 at 1:52 pm | #

        Would you like your marriage proposal to be conveyed by airmail or dancing elf courier squad?

  5. hinoteoni
    hinoteoni
    November 20, 2012 at 12:07 am | #

    Nice

  6. Sensedog
    Sensedog
    November 20, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

    And…the agent of chaos strikes again.

    Mike’d.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      November 20, 2012 at 2:14 am | #

      Mike Warner, Agent of C.H.A.O.S.

      • Jeff K!
        Jeff K!
        November 20, 2012 at 9:32 pm | #

        David Walkerton, Agent of C.A.R.A.M.E.L.

  7. an ancient indian burial ground
    an ancient indian burial ground
    November 20, 2012 at 12:11 am | #

    Just when you think you have Mike figured out…you don’t have Mike figured out. Yeah. That’s all I’ve got, sorry.

  8. TaZZerath
    TaZZerath
    November 20, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

    O hai Dorothy!

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      November 20, 2012 at 12:15 am | #

      How’s you’re sex life?

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        November 20, 2012 at 12:20 am | #

        Stop standing back there like a chicken:
        cheep cheep cheep cheeeeEEEeeEEep.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          November 20, 2012 at 12:22 am | #

          That’s a funny story, Yotomoe.

          • Doctor_Who
            Doctor_Who
            November 20, 2012 at 12:38 am | #

            Danny’s reaction to this news: “Evvybody betray me! I’m fed up with this whorl!”

            • Wonder Wig
              Wonder Wig
              November 20, 2012 at 12:54 am | #

              It seems that Mike is an eeexpert.

              • Originalslugboy
                Originalslugboy
                November 20, 2012 at 1:47 am | #

                And then Billie ended up in a hospital on Guerrero Street.

                • Aizat
                  Aizat
                  November 20, 2012 at 2:10 am | #

                  Hahaha. What a story, Originalslugboy.

      • Julian
        Julian
        November 20, 2012 at 12:22 am | #

        What are you talking about? I just saw you.

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          November 20, 2012 at 8:11 am | #

          You are tearing me apart, Julian.

  9. Gnoka
    Gnoka
    November 20, 2012 at 12:12 am | #

    I can ship it.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      November 20, 2012 at 12:19 am | #

      To shippers, you can ship anyone with anyone. Heck, they would ship two characters just because he/she said hi to the other person.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        November 20, 2012 at 12:42 am | #

        I once shipped my stapler with my coffee mug. Yes, I know the mug is in a relationship with the pencil sharpener, but I choose to ignore that in my personal canon.

        • Historyman68
          Historyman68
          November 20, 2012 at 1:35 am | #

          Stop pressuring them. They’ll never live up to your expectations.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          November 20, 2012 at 1:42 am | #

          Staple Remover x Paper Clip holder forever!

        • Originalslugboy
          Originalslugboy
          November 20, 2012 at 1:44 am | #

          The mug is only dating the pencil sharpener to begin with because Joe Quesada used the Robot Devil to eliminate his marriage to the mouse pad.

          • Andiemus
            Andiemus
            November 20, 2012 at 6:47 pm | #

            Hahahahahaha! Comment of the year nominee.

        • Petre Pan
          Petre Pan
          November 20, 2012 at 1:52 am | #

          The pencil sharpener is a slut. Cheating on the mug ten times a day , multiple penetrations with other household objects.

          What kind of message does that send to our children, I ask you? Wholesome fiction supports love and fidelity–and looks down on abuseive relationships full of lies!
          I ship coffee mug and stapler forever.

          • Flynn
            Flynn
            November 20, 2012 at 2:56 am | #

            Gee, talk about double standards!So if you’re penetrated a lot, you’re a slut, but if you go around penetrating other things, you’re a decent upstanding piece of stationery? Perhaps the mug should go talk to some of the discarded paper the stapler has heartlessly used and abandoned.

          • DaJoshMaster
            DaJoshMaster
            November 20, 2012 at 4:27 am | #

            What kind of a world forces poor sharpeners to hide their sexual desires just because we see it as “slutty? The rubbish kind!
            I ship sharpener x whatever pencil she want!

          • AsimovSideburns
            AsimovSideburns
            November 20, 2012 at 2:45 pm | #

            Oh, but the stapler can get with as many pieces of paper as he wants?

  10. Jim
    Jim
    November 20, 2012 at 12:16 am | #

    The tribulation revelation is not what you’d think
    Nothing of pathfinding is ready for link
    Look! Look deeper in the plans that are thus
    A second intention is brimmed with the such
    Never let your expectation e’er begin to rust
    Or our blonde friend will have you reeling too much

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      November 20, 2012 at 12:31 am | #

      Did you just make Mike into an Eldritch Abomination?

      • madock345
        madock345
        November 20, 2012 at 12:37 am | #

        I think Mike did that.

      • AckAckAck
        AckAckAck
        November 20, 2012 at 12:40 am | #

        Does he really need all those extra tentacles?

        • CWR
          CWR
          November 20, 2012 at 6:15 am | #

          Extra tentacles are a feature, not a bug.

          Unless you are Yuki.

        • Kryss LaBryn
          Kryss LaBryn
          November 20, 2012 at 8:56 am | #

          Okay, so why in the hell did I misread “tentacles” as “testicles”?

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            November 20, 2012 at 9:47 am | #

            Mike doesn’t need extra testicles, he already has two huge ones

  11. madock345
    madock345
    November 20, 2012 at 12:17 am | #

    Danny said a bad word.

    DANNY SAID A BAD WORD. D:

    • David
      David M Willis
      November 20, 2012 at 12:25 am | #

      Yeah, the only person who doesn’t swear in this universe is Joyce.

      • Uncle Rylon
        Uncle Rylon
        November 20, 2012 at 1:43 am | #

        That was actually the first thing that came to my mind: a significant difference between Roomies!Danny and Dumbverse!Danny (Sorry about the exclamation point, but I like it.) is that Dumbverse!Danny swears.

      • Nono
        Nono
        November 20, 2012 at 3:18 am | #

        Even Becky?

        Quick, alert the church elders!

    • molochmachine
      molochmachine
      November 20, 2012 at 12:55 am | #

      There are no bad words. Except that one you just thought of. You know it. Stop thinking of it now. It’s bad.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        November 20, 2012 at 10:40 am | #

        In my headcanon, the only real swear word is ‘the’.

        Everyone swears like a mofo.

        • Egg
          Egg
          November 20, 2012 at 9:47 pm | #

          Except, ironically, Russians.

          (Well, and Turks and Finns and most of East Asia, etc.)

  12. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    November 20, 2012 at 12:19 am | #

    Haha, surprise assholery! I mean, no one is surprised that he was an asshole, but the way he was an asshole was surprising.

  13. Squidiggles
    Squidiggles
    November 20, 2012 at 12:20 am | #

    Anal sphincter is the scientific term I believe.

  14. AckAckAck
    AckAckAck
    November 20, 2012 at 12:26 am | #

    Why not break one heart when Mike can break two at once?

    Now that’s efficiency!

    Well, efficient if Walky actually believe that or Mike (forced a) kiss with Dorothy in the next comic.

  15. MR C
    MR C
    November 20, 2012 at 12:30 am | #

    not sure if mike’s bein a good guy and helping cover for walky

    or if he’s being really really evil

    • TaZZerath
      TaZZerath
      November 20, 2012 at 12:34 am | #

      Time will tell…. sooner or later…. time will tell…

    • Historyman68
      Historyman68
      November 20, 2012 at 1:45 am | #

      Both.

  16. Melvin Schlock
    Melvin Schlock
    November 20, 2012 at 12:39 am | #

    Could Mike be drunk this early in the day? Or is that just Shortpacked Mike?

    • TaZZerath
      TaZZerath
      November 20, 2012 at 12:47 am | #

      Either way, his cheeks aren’t rosy

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      November 20, 2012 at 12:52 am | #

      Mike in underage in this universe (doesn’t stop Billie, I know), so I think it would be funny if he’d never gotten drunk before. That way when he finally tried it, his turning nice will be as shocking to him as it is to everyone else.

      “Blurgh, what did I do last night?” (Digs through pockets) “A receipt for donating to charity…a thank you note from Joyce for chaperoning her church’s purity ball…membership card to the Mr. Rogers fanclub?!”

      • Historyman68
        Historyman68
        November 20, 2012 at 1:52 am | #

        Whoa that actually would be a pretty cool storyline.

        • CWR
          CWR
          November 20, 2012 at 6:18 am | #

          Of course, now that it has appeared in the forums, David can’t write it that way…

  17. meanderling
    meanderling
    November 20, 2012 at 12:43 am | #

    Maybe Mike is just not that much of an asshole. I mean, he’s just some eighteen-year-old college kid. No aliens at all! He’d put books in Walky’s backpack but he’d take some flack for him.

    Oooooor…he’s trying to get Danny jealous enough to try and get Dorothy back and drop Amber. Hmmmm.

    Or I’m just coming up with theories and I’ve had far too little sleep.

  18. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    November 20, 2012 at 1:01 am | #

    This being an alternate universe, it was completely possible for Mike to turn out nice in this world, unless a mean Mike is a fundamental constant of the multiverse, like the speed of light or taxes.

  19. molochmachine
    molochmachine
    November 20, 2012 at 1:03 am | #

    I don’t feel confident to theorise on the specifics, but given that it’s Mike, I predict this ruse will end up hurting someone’s feelings temporarily, helping Mike in some way, and ultimately contribute to the betterment and happiness of everyone involved. Except Mike.

  20. Lub
    Lub
    November 20, 2012 at 1:12 am | #

    Mike is whatever you don’t want him to be.

  21. Bishop
    Bishop
    November 20, 2012 at 1:31 am | #

    Haha, this is why I love Mike.

  22. Kurai Seraphim
    Kurai Seraphim
    November 20, 2012 at 1:49 am | #

    Considering how raw a deal Danny got from Dorothy, Mike is honestly doing him a favor by forcing her to fess up to it. Whether or not Walky gets burned remains to be seen (as he’ll probably also stand up for himself here), but Dorothy needs to catch a bit of fire here and at least admit that she broke up with him only to date someone new and invalidate her argument.

  23. Tristan J
    Tristan J
    November 20, 2012 at 1:57 am | #

    In other news, who wants to do voice acting for a Dumbing of Age Not Even A Motion Comic?

    http://randomfanboy.tumblr.com/post/36109810252/hey-dumbing-of-age-fans
    http://randomfanboy.tumblr.com/post/36120877615/randomfanboy-okay-now-ive-gotten-some

    (I put this here because some people might be interested but not have Tumblr and thus not know)

  24. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    November 20, 2012 at 2:27 am | #

    Mike is Mike. He always has an ulterior motive for everything he does, good bad, or indifferent. I think the only person he may actually feel anything for is Joyce. I think maybe because he is still trying to figure her out, so he will protect her until he does. As for Walky, well he did get him jeans pj’s and we saw how that turned out: confusing. Walky ended up embarassed but he also ended up with his girl. I sorta think he is protecting Walky here-just no idea why.

    • Led
      Led
      November 20, 2012 at 6:27 am | #

      Maybe he is actually trying to help them this time (because the potential drama would annoy him)? 😀

      • N0083rP00F
        N0083rP00F
        November 20, 2012 at 10:38 am | #

        Two words will explain it all -> Pajama Pants

  25. Acher4
    Acher4
    November 20, 2012 at 2:29 am | #

    Wow, that was totally unexpected!

    On another subject. Noone is going to reach class on time, are they? 😛

  26. Uniqueantique
    Uniqueantique
    November 20, 2012 at 2:31 am | #

    ah, yes there is that Karai. Mike is hitting Danny between the eyes with that.

  27. Charles RB
    Charles RB
    November 20, 2012 at 4:56 am | #

    …whoa. That means Mike is doing something NICE (in a way that means he can be a dick!)

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      November 20, 2012 at 3:57 pm | #

      Well, we just have to wait for the other shoe to drop, then we will see his nefarious plan.

  28. Jason
    Jason
    November 20, 2012 at 6:03 am | #

    Because when you and someone else notice each other some gesture of acknowledgement is appropriate

    • ridtom
      ridtom
      November 20, 2012 at 6:33 pm | #

      I doubt Danny will appreciate the gesture.

  29. Krimson
    Krimson
    November 20, 2012 at 6:52 am | #

    Mike is capable of doing good. He just likes to inflict suffering while he is at it.

  30. Dr.Z
    Dr.Z
    November 20, 2012 at 7:25 am | #

    Huh. Lying.

    I’m used to Mike using the truth to dick people.

    • begbert2
      begbert2
      November 20, 2012 at 10:48 am | #

      If he started with the truth Danny would disbelieve him, Dorothy might have hid, and Walky might deny it leaving him standing there looking stupid. By claiming he’s the new boyfriend he can keep pushing the discussion, catch Dorothy flatfooted so he’d have time to reveal her, and goad Walky into jumping in and claiming the boyfriend title, all with the result of forcing Danny to realize that yes, he was dumped because Dorothy got tired of him but it’s not about studying, it’s about the fact he’s not caramel.

      So. he’s using a lie to get the truth out. Does that count?

  31. davidbreslin101
    davidbreslin101
    November 20, 2012 at 7:40 am | #

    Reckon he’s winging it. Like a chess master given 20 seconds to solve a tricky problem. If there’s a Dorothy on the board, she’s probably part of the solution.

  32. Bill Murphy
    Bill Murphy
    November 20, 2012 at 9:47 am | #

    It sucks to be put on the spot doesn’t it DOROTHY??? 😛

  33. ridtom
    ridtom
    November 20, 2012 at 2:18 pm | #

    I like the idea of this being an Ultimates version of Mike- you know one that’s still a dick but to a lesser degree

  34. Henry
    Henry
    November 20, 2012 at 2:51 pm | #

    “For your information, Dorothy and I pound each other every night in the most epic of hatefucks.”

  35. mathiasmindblade
    mathiasmindblade
    November 20, 2012 at 3:29 pm | #

    Awkward at a magnitude of 16…

  36. Perhapsormaybe
    Perhapsormaybe
    November 20, 2012 at 8:38 pm | #

    Cannot tell if trolling or genuinely helping, just in the most dickish way he could think of.

    • Boom
      Boom
      November 21, 2012 at 2:33 am | #

      Mike never really helps. It just seems that way when he underestimates people and ends up helping them in the long-run.

      >.>

  37. Chris
    Chris
    November 21, 2012 at 4:39 pm | #

    So Mike was in Dorothy’s room in his boxers?

  38. Somebody
    Somebody
    November 21, 2012 at 10:23 pm | #

    What.

  39. newllend
    newllend
    August 15, 2013 at 2:17 am | #

    Wait, what? What’s his plan!? What angle I he working

  40. AnvilPro
    AnvilPro
    January 12, 2015 at 11:22 pm | #

    Sure, Mike COULD throw Walky and Dorothy under the bus, or he can just blindfold them and let them walk themselves

  41. SmilingNid
    SmilingNid
    February 28, 2016 at 2:42 pm | #

    Does any one else just find themselves automatically waving at inappropriate times, or am I alone with Dorothy on this one?

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