Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The wings and drumsticks of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of grease,
And by opposing gobble them? To baste: to sleep;
No more; and by a fist to say we end
The butt-hurt and the thousand natural shocks
That fists are heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To baste, to sleep;
I forgot about the Hovertext until reading the comments, and just went back through the DoA to see what I missed. It’s a mercifully short list of comics to go through… for now.
Plenty of people graduate high school at 19, and maybe her birthday is over the summer so she graduated at 18 and turned 19 before starting college. The age you graduated depends on what age they allow you to start kindergarten, and that varies by where you live.
That threw me too. She should almost definitely be eighteen–unless she got held back a year, in which case she should give up any hope of political office right now.
Dorothy’s birthday is early in the school year, as ASmellyOgre suggested. When this happens, parents often opt to start a kid in school later. It’s a very common occurrence. I’m married to one such occurrence.
In some school districts, it’s not up to parents. I remember when I lived in KS, they had preschool, then “Pre-K,” which was an extra year of Preschool that kids went to if their parents started them too early, so they could be the same age as the other kids when they started Kindergarten.
I, on the other hand, have an October birthday and started Kindergarten on an army base in Germany, so I got to start when I was 4. Since my dad was in the army, we then moved a lot, and ended up moving from KS to New Orleans when I was in high school. Louisiana has much more lenient graduation requirements, so I had 80% of the credits I needed to graduate by the start of my Junior year without ever taking any AP classes. I started college at 16.
Sometimes the school resists early admittance such as the case of your mother Alex. I know my parents did, but insisted because I wouldn’t shut up about starting school even though I was only 2 years old.
School systems typically say you have to be 5 by September 1st or December 31st (or some random date in between) to start Kindergarden. So an on track student on September 1st of their freshman year should be 18 or turning 18 by the end of the year.
And now I want to see Willis do a one shot comic about married life in the white house.
“Walky could you please turn your holographs down? I am trying to figure out what to say to the ambasador from Saudi-Jordania.”
“Ohh just give him a pork steak to eat and everything should be fine.”
“That’s…. not a good idea.”
That is also quite a personal pickle for Dorothy. Having to compromise on ones ideals and oneself seems to be something almost everyone who wishes create great societal change must go through.
I hear ya. By June I’ll alo be older than everyone in this comic. Well except Galasso and Jason…… and Pamela…..how old is Conquest again? Alan should also be older than me. Sarah and Raidah are also older. Well I am older than the first years by June!
Serious comment here, Wow. I honestly completely empathize with Dorothy on the middle panels. I’m a guy, but I still find that sentiment to be true. If I’m not constantly on my guard, I feel like I’d end up a failure. I kinda hated Dorothy for breaking Danny’s heart, but now….. I really respect her. I identify with her. Look at Willis go, making relatable character development again. Right on.
I like that Joyce isn’t going on and on about how it’s wrong. I hate trying to have a conversation with people like that. Like they don’t feel anything. Ever. At all.
I really hate it how moralists, chauvinists and feminists alike have all turned sex into a weapon. Sex is supposed to be something fun and awesome between two (or more, if that’s what you’re into) consenting people. Sex is not shameful. It is not wrong to like or enjoy sex, regardless of your orientation or tastes, as long as all the participants are willing. Somebody’s sexual preferences do not define a person, and we should stop doing that. Post-haste!
As far as “supposed” factors into it, sex is “supposed” to be a mechanism fo bilogical reproduction. You’re thinking more along the lines of “what my view on it is”, and let’s be honest, this particulr viewpoint isn’t quite as old as the moralists’, chauvinists’, and feminists’ takes on it.
It would be more honest and accurate to be claiming something like “it is less harmful to the psych to view sex as X”, but claiming that your opponents somehow revised the “obvious purpose” from your own viewpoint is quite disingenuous.
…Unless you happen to be the Creator of Humanity, in which case, Hi!
Well, sex is inherently enjoyable, as both men and women reach orgasm through it (when done right). Therefore it IS “something fun”.
The awesome part depends on your religious (sex is a SIN), political (it is a matter of gender domination) or ethical (sex is awesome/shameful) views.
And even if it was not the prevailing opinion in the judeo-christian and muslim world, the “Sex is not shameful and should be enjoyed” point of view is at least as old as (and probably older than) the others.
Hell I’m 31 and struggle with this crap. What makes it worse is my lack of experience in relationships makes me feel like there’s something terribly wrong with me. Half of me really wants to wait for the right woman and the other half of me just wants to get laid all of the time. As a great man once said: “I’m going off the rails on a crazy train.”
I quite like this moment. Dorothy’s been trying to get Joyce not to be so controlling before, and this humanizes those control needs a fair bit — maybe Joyce needs to keep a hold on herself, and people in her vicinity doing stuff she won’t allow herself to do (or she has strict rules about doing) makes it harder to suppress those urges. And she doesn’t really want to suppress, but she’s also afraid of what she’ll become if she doesn’t suppress it, possibly losing control of herself.
Dorothy’s got about the same thing here, which sort of explains how her relationship with Walky works (along with that “my brain makes me feel guilty for not doing good all the time” thing). Dorothy’s aspiring to be an ideal — a hard-working, hard-studying person who will grow up to be president and be super competent. It’s an admirable ideal, but she can’t push herself all the time. Her relationship with Walky gives her the relaxation she needs, and they’re really at ease in each other’s company — but she still keeps the same control over herself, somewhat. Trying to suppress what doesn’t fit in with that ideal.
That “half of my brain” line is really good, too — not wanting to play by the system if the system is wrong, but also not wanting to basically ruin everything for you. If you want to get somewhere, I guess all you can do is go along with a stupid rule or requirement and hope to go some way towards changing it when you’ve got the influence to.
I wonder how Walky and Dorothy’s relationship will wind up. Walky being extremely casual and laid-back and all that, I doubt he’ll pull a Danny and be willing to move location or lifestyle for her (which is probably a comfort to Dorothy, since she wants to have the choice to be independent). Still — if they build up a good and enjoyable relationship, I wonder if Dorothy will be able to just go back to single status like nothing ever happened when college ends. (Probably something will come between them before that, though.)
Not to belittle Dorothy’s dilemma, but I think she’s missing the forest for the trees here. I would think atheism would be a much bigger issue for someone runing for President than how often one got laid back in college. (By the latter standard, I should be Emperor of the World.)
Yeah, I hate to say it, Dot but you’re already disbarred from the highest office in the land. This isn’t Australia where you can be a single mother, atheist, AND probably vegetarian. This is AMERICA.
Folks woulda said the same thing about being black or Mormon a few years ago. And while atheists still somehow rank below either of those, Dorothy’s thinking thirty years from now, at least.
Read her cast bio, linked at the top of the site, particularly the last paragraph.
That reminds me, I owe a friend $20 on account of a bet we had. I said there’d be a woman President before a black one. He took black. We agreed that a black woman would be a push.
Within a few years, whenever I need to argue with an idiot on the internet over feminism, I’m just going to have a stock of David Willis links to send them instead of having to retype my own arguments.
Maybe I just don’t remember that much, but was Hillary Clinton’s college sex life scrutinized when she ran for President, or did they just skip it because they already got it out of the way when she was First Lady or a Senator?
I don’t remember much about that either, but then again I don’t feel like ever prying into someone’s personal life or past (especially when we’re talking about college and before). But I don’t doubt that some of the stuff she did in her past was brought up during her political career. Once you reach a certain stage of your career, people begin focusing on what you are doing presently or in the recent past than what you did decades ago. Just like with the current president, so many people bring up that he is a pothead (I am nobody to know if this is true) because there are pictures of him smoking when he was in his teens, maybe early twenties. I don’t like the president, but I think it is silly to judge someone’s current character solely based on their past.
Loading ...
To baste or not to baste, that is the question.
Be sure to make the baste decision.
Take your time, though. Don’t make it in baste.
…Or it might blow up in your BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTE!
Because haste makes baste.
She only dresses Walky like that in public. In private they baste all the time.
But who is the baster and who is the bastee?
All your basting are belong to us!
And baste makes waste.
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The wings and drumsticks of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of grease,
And by opposing gobble them? To baste: to sleep;
No more; and by a fist to say we end
The butt-hurt and the thousand natural shocks
That fists are heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To baste, to sleep;
you win the internet
We certainly don’t want any little Basterds to come out of this relationship, Dorothy!
Is that what they’re calling these days?
I always thought it was marinating the fish.
I always thought it was dry-rubbing the snake-rib.
if you’re dry rubbing, you’re doing it wrong, darlin’.
Bite the pillow.
Oh, so that is what you are doing.
Walky is a turkey. A jive turkey.
But where is his Zoot Suit and hep cat music?
A turkey is a bad person.
Turkey stuffed with Macaroni and Cheese? NOW it all makes sense!
That sounds delicious. But from a sexual standpoint he’d be stuffing a turkey into Macaroni and Cheese
*stuffing a turkey into a Macaroni and Cheese box.
OMG, I’d never considered macaroni cheese as a stuffing before….
Did you not read the hovertext? CLEARLY The Macaroni and Cheese is going in that turkey!
I was gonna make a joke about “Walky-stuffing” but then I made myself queasy.
The hovertext made that joke already.
Wait… Wait… Wait wait wait….
HOW LONG HAS DOA HAD HOVERTEXT JOKES??? Is this a thing on SP! too?? HOLY BALLS, IT IS!!
So I’m going to have to reread everything apparently.
only like a few weeks.
I forgot about the Hovertext until reading the comments, and just went back through the DoA to see what I missed. It’s a mercifully short list of comics to go through… for now.
People of the future! Let it be known that hovertext has existed on both DoA and SP! since February 14, 2013!
Whole lotta basting going on.
Turduckin’ truckin’ chuckin’ puckin’ –
Dorothy is 19? I thought where all the cast was fresh out of highschool, it put them in the 17-18 range
She could be like me and have a birthday that’s really early in the school year.
Plenty of people graduate high school at 19, and maybe her birthday is over the summer so she graduated at 18 and turned 19 before starting college. The age you graduated depends on what age they allow you to start kindergarten, and that varies by where you live.
Bingo. I turned 19 a week before freshman classes started.
I was almost 8 before first grade.
That threw me too. She should almost definitely be eighteen–unless she got held back a year, in which case she should give up any hope of political office right now.
Dorothy’s birthday is early in the school year, as ASmellyOgre suggested. When this happens, parents often opt to start a kid in school later. It’s a very common occurrence. I’m married to one such occurrence.
Weird, my mom has an early in the year birthday, and she started college at 17.
As he said, it’s all up to the parents. Essentially, do they want their kid older than most of their peers or younger than them.
In some school districts, it’s not up to parents. I remember when I lived in KS, they had preschool, then “Pre-K,” which was an extra year of Preschool that kids went to if their parents started them too early, so they could be the same age as the other kids when they started Kindergarten.
I, on the other hand, have an October birthday and started Kindergarten on an army base in Germany, so I got to start when I was 4. Since my dad was in the army, we then moved a lot, and ended up moving from KS to New Orleans when I was in high school. Louisiana has much more lenient graduation requirements, so I had 80% of the credits I needed to graduate by the start of my Junior year without ever taking any AP classes. I started college at 16.
Sometimes the school resists early admittance such as the case of your mother Alex. I know my parents did, but insisted because I wouldn’t shut up about starting school even though I was only 2 years old.
School systems typically say you have to be 5 by September 1st or December 31st (or some random date in between) to start Kindergarden. So an on track student on September 1st of their freshman year should be 18 or turning 18 by the end of the year.
Well my birthday is late in school year, so I was always the youngest. Now that I have taken a gap year I will be the oldest once university starts!
Can I say just how much I love Joyce and Dorothy’s friendship?
I could’ve sworn dressing a turkey is an actual thing, and perhaps a much more apt metaphor.
Yeah, but basting him him is more delicious.
not-so-dry-humping in public
I first read that a pubic, not public.
Basting a turkey, which she will then proceed to have sex with.
That’s right, she’s going to fuck the caramel turkey.
Follow her on twitter @DorothyKeener
You have ruined innuendo with your bluntness.
Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, Episode 3.
Caramel turkey sounds like it could either be delicious or terrible.
Doesn’t sound that much weirder than a chocolate bunny when you think about it.
She’s going to need a husband if she wants to become president, what’s wrong with Walky?
Having a husband who wants to rebuild the White House with lego may not be a good PR move.
You misjudge how many people would love to have that.
They would be white legos though, so it’s still ok.
No, they ran out. Had to start making ‘creative choices’ once the worldwide call for white Lego proved insufficient.
The red, white and blue house does have a nice ring to it.
And now I want to see Willis do a one shot comic about married life in the white house.
“Walky could you please turn your holographs down? I am trying to figure out what to say to the ambasador from Saudi-Jordania.”
“Ohh just give him a pork steak to eat and everything should be fine.”
“That’s…. not a good idea.”
There’s also a good chance that Walky may not be the one and then where would Dotty be?
That is also quite a personal pickle for Dorothy. Having to compromise on ones ideals and oneself seems to be something almost everyone who wishes create great societal change must go through.
Wait a minute Dorothy’s nineteen and I’m gonna be turning twenty in like a week
And a lot of the other characters in this are probably like eighteen
Holy shit, I’m older than the cast of Dumbing of Age. IT FEELS SO WRONG. HELP. I’M OLD.
*runs frantically to the Walkyverse where everyone is in their 30s* Ah, that’s better.
as someone who started reading in ~late high school and then slowly aged past the characters (20, now)–I feel your pain.
Quitcher belly-achin’ and get offa my lawn.
If I’d knocked up my girlfriend when I was the DoA cast’s age, the kid would be older than you.
I hear ya. By June I’ll alo be older than everyone in this comic. Well except Galasso and Jason…… and Pamela…..how old is Conquest again? Alan should also be older than me. Sarah and Raidah are also older. Well I am older than the first years by June!
So it’s a turkey stuffed with Mac n Cheese? But that means Walky is getting stuffed with….O-oh God!
She could become a masterbaster!
I give you ten internets.
She wants to baste all over him.
Just don’t go to fast. You don’t want to baste early.
Premature-basting
Do you like to baste fast and hard, or slow and gentle?
Serious comment here, Wow. I honestly completely empathize with Dorothy on the middle panels. I’m a guy, but I still find that sentiment to be true. If I’m not constantly on my guard, I feel like I’d end up a failure. I kinda hated Dorothy for breaking Danny’s heart, but now….. I really respect her. I identify with her. Look at Willis go, making relatable character development again. Right on.
Agreed with Axel. Damn Dorothy, you go.
Baste makes waste.
Baste not, want not.
Damn fine comments, very relatable to the real world waiting to pounce on you when you get out here. And I love the way the two girls relate.
Today’s strip made me think. The mouse over text made me shoot coffee out of my nose.
holy crap, I did not know!
My first thought was: wait, isn’t that backwards? isn’t it usually the girl who gets inserted into?
I like that Joyce isn’t going on and on about how it’s wrong. I hate trying to have a conversation with people like that. Like they don’t feel anything. Ever. At all.
Damn eunuchs.
Waitaflippinminute. Dotty wants to be President? Of the U.S.?
Or does she mean she wants to run a National Cannabis Booster Club ?
Y’know, I was afraid she was mentioning wanting to be President too much, but apparently not.
She was mentioning it plenty, um, a year and a half ago I think?
The former.
In other breaking news: Joyce is religious, Dina is into dinosaurs, and Mike did your mom for a nickel.
And Glasso
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wildflowers
He puts on women’s clothing And hangs around in bars?
It pleases his daughter,
And almost everyone is gay.
… Logic, thy name be not ‘human’.
And so the world waits with basted breath to find out how this story concludes….
I really hate it how moralists, chauvinists and feminists alike have all turned sex into a weapon. Sex is supposed to be something fun and awesome between two (or more, if that’s what you’re into) consenting people. Sex is not shameful. It is not wrong to like or enjoy sex, regardless of your orientation or tastes, as long as all the participants are willing. Somebody’s sexual preferences do not define a person, and we should stop doing that. Post-haste!
As far as “supposed” factors into it, sex is “supposed” to be a mechanism fo bilogical reproduction. You’re thinking more along the lines of “what my view on it is”, and let’s be honest, this particulr viewpoint isn’t quite as old as the moralists’, chauvinists’, and feminists’ takes on it.
It would be more honest and accurate to be claiming something like “it is less harmful to the psych to view sex as X”, but claiming that your opponents somehow revised the “obvious purpose” from your own viewpoint is quite disingenuous.
…Unless you happen to be the Creator of Humanity, in which case, Hi!
Well, sex is inherently enjoyable, as both men and women reach orgasm through it (when done right). Therefore it IS “something fun”.
The awesome part depends on your religious (sex is a SIN), political (it is a matter of gender domination) or ethical (sex is awesome/shameful) views.
And even if it was not the prevailing opinion in the judeo-christian and muslim world, the “Sex is not shameful and should be enjoyed” point of view is at least as old as (and probably older than) the others.
Don’t worry Joyce, I still think you’re stupid! 🙂
Hell I’m 31 and struggle with this crap. What makes it worse is my lack of experience in relationships makes me feel like there’s something terribly wrong with me. Half of me really wants to wait for the right woman and the other half of me just wants to get laid all of the time. As a great man once said: “I’m going off the rails on a crazy train.”
I quite like this moment. Dorothy’s been trying to get Joyce not to be so controlling before, and this humanizes those control needs a fair bit — maybe Joyce needs to keep a hold on herself, and people in her vicinity doing stuff she won’t allow herself to do (or she has strict rules about doing) makes it harder to suppress those urges. And she doesn’t really want to suppress, but she’s also afraid of what she’ll become if she doesn’t suppress it, possibly losing control of herself.
Dorothy’s got about the same thing here, which sort of explains how her relationship with Walky works (along with that “my brain makes me feel guilty for not doing good all the time” thing). Dorothy’s aspiring to be an ideal — a hard-working, hard-studying person who will grow up to be president and be super competent. It’s an admirable ideal, but she can’t push herself all the time. Her relationship with Walky gives her the relaxation she needs, and they’re really at ease in each other’s company — but she still keeps the same control over herself, somewhat. Trying to suppress what doesn’t fit in with that ideal.
That “half of my brain” line is really good, too — not wanting to play by the system if the system is wrong, but also not wanting to basically ruin everything for you. If you want to get somewhere, I guess all you can do is go along with a stupid rule or requirement and hope to go some way towards changing it when you’ve got the influence to.
I wonder how Walky and Dorothy’s relationship will wind up. Walky being extremely casual and laid-back and all that, I doubt he’ll pull a Danny and be willing to move location or lifestyle for her (which is probably a comfort to Dorothy, since she wants to have the choice to be independent). Still — if they build up a good and enjoyable relationship, I wonder if Dorothy will be able to just go back to single status like nothing ever happened when college ends. (Probably something will come between them before that, though.)
Not to belittle Dorothy’s dilemma, but I think she’s missing the forest for the trees here. I would think atheism would be a much bigger issue for someone runing for President than how often one got laid back in college. (By the latter standard, I should be Emperor of the World.)
Yeah, if we can shrug off admitted pot use, I’d think that a lively college sex life would draw applause. Particularly twenty years from now.
I was thinking much the same thing.
Yeah, I hate to say it, Dot but you’re already disbarred from the highest office in the land. This isn’t Australia where you can be a single mother, atheist, AND probably vegetarian. This is AMERICA.
Folks woulda said the same thing about being black or Mormon a few years ago. And while atheists still somehow rank below either of those, Dorothy’s thinking thirty years from now, at least.
Read her cast bio, linked at the top of the site, particularly the last paragraph.
That reminds me, I owe a friend $20 on account of a bet we had. I said there’d be a woman President before a black one. He took black. We agreed that a black woman would be a push.
I should have remembered to “always bet on black.”
Within a few years, whenever I need to argue with an idiot on the internet over feminism, I’m just going to have a stock of David Willis links to send them instead of having to retype my own arguments.
Turkey jokes aside, that expression in the last panel is *awesome*. Willis, it’s worth reading this strip for the facial expressions *alone*.
Uh…clarification….I meant by Dorothy’s standard.
Her FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST
That fist thing?
How much?
Maybe I just don’t remember that much, but was Hillary Clinton’s college sex life scrutinized when she ran for President, or did they just skip it because they already got it out of the way when she was First Lady or a Senator?
I don’t remember much about that either, but then again I don’t feel like ever prying into someone’s personal life or past (especially when we’re talking about college and before). But I don’t doubt that some of the stuff she did in her past was brought up during her political career. Once you reach a certain stage of your career, people begin focusing on what you are doing presently or in the recent past than what you did decades ago. Just like with the current president, so many people bring up that he is a pothead (I am nobody to know if this is true) because there are pictures of him smoking when he was in his teens, maybe early twenties. I don’t like the president, but I think it is silly to judge someone’s current character solely based on their past.
Also, frankly, I think Dot should seriously reconsider her potential. Do you know how much POWER she’d have to give up to be President?!
Nice Luthor quote
Dorothy reminds me a a grown-up Susie Derkins.
Perfect analogy! Plus one to you.
Does that make Danny a grown up Calvin?
So very true, Dorothy.
I’m pretty sure Walky was basting her last night? (Please tell me no one else made that joke already!)
If you let the prejudices of your people rule you, why would you even want to be their ruler?
Could I get the last panel blown up?
sure just read it’s walky!