Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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looks like somebody's gotta add 77 f-bombs to their f-bomb chart
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September 20, 2023

Temper

by David M Willis on February 22, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - I Was a Teenage Churchmouse

└ Tags: jennifer, joyce, sal

Discussion (224) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Tobias
    Tobias
    February 22, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    We feel your pain, Sal.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      February 22, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      Ugh, flashbacks to the first time I tried Diner Dash… hate that fucking game and all its clones X(

    • Reboot
      Reboot
      February 22, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

      Well, at least it proves the pain’s all in her brain, not her hand?

    • Shade
      Shade
      February 22, 2014 at 8:55 pm | #

      It’s worse because Sal wouldn’t have the charger. So it’s completely gone.

  2. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    February 22, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Sal is one of us.

    • Ocbrad1
      Ocbrad1
      February 22, 2014 at 10:53 am | #

      And we are one with Sal. Actually, that sounds kinda creepy. Maybe not?

      • Lord Geovanni
        Lord Geovanni
        April 4, 2014 at 10:07 am | #

        Assimilate!

  3. Geminia999
    Geminia999
    February 22, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    So, when is Danny going to give her his charger?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 22, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      Is that a Euphenism?

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        February 22, 2014 at 12:37 am | #

        “Everything is a euphemism.”

        • Robin
          Robin
          February 22, 2014 at 12:38 am | #

          “If you know what I mean.”

          • David Herbert
            David Herbert
            February 22, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

            “With my penis.”

            • saltchocolate
              saltchocolate
              February 22, 2014 at 1:40 am | #

              Between the sheets.

              • Glynvel
                Glynvel
                February 22, 2014 at 3:38 am | #

                I’d like to double her entendre.

                • ninja_jesus
                  ninja_jesus
                  February 22, 2014 at 4:18 am | #

                  I’d like to fluff her Garfield.

                • JA
                  JA
                  February 22, 2014 at 9:27 pm | #

                  With my hands.

                • BrokenTusk
                  BrokenTusk
                  February 22, 2014 at 11:47 pm | #

                  I’d like to hit her with my blue shell

  4. The Sound Defense
    The Sound Defense
    February 22, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Her Mario Kart game is going better than average.

    • Jen Aside
      Jen Aside
      February 22, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      Come to think of it, this brings to mind my uncle’s comment once about how people who are good at driving aren’t that great at racing games, and maybe vice-versa. HMMM

      • Jenny Creed
        Jenny Creed
        February 22, 2014 at 2:20 am | #

        I can see how that would work. One guy, a mechanic and the best driver I’ve ever known, was hopeless at Super Mario Kart. Like he’d never use the feather powerup, not even to get rid of it so he could get one of the items he knew what to do with. Tackling, jumping and generally driving as though the only thing in the world that could possibly hurt you was finishing second are not skills that real world driving teaches you I suppose.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          February 25, 2014 at 3:31 pm | #

          My dad was a retired fighter pilot, but could never get into computer flight sims, said they didn’t feel right.

      • Kisai
        Kisai
        February 22, 2014 at 4:44 am | #

        This is fairly true.

        This has a lot to do with how real vehicles operate. Real cars don’t have on-off acceleration and a huge dead zone in the middle of steering. So people who actually drive tend to oversteer in the games. Like anything, it comes with experience.

        Just like Guitar Hero, the game guitar is nothing like a real one.

  5. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    February 22, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Sal’s face is a scary face.

  6. Violet
    Violet
    February 22, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    I think Sal needs Danny’s charger. If you know what I mean.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 22, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      I understand completely, the batteries muct be running pretty low after all that gameplay.

    • tlaurence
      tlaurence
      February 22, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      See, the problem is that that … (what console is it? 3DS?). Anyway, the 3DS is going to need several hours to charge. Can Danny’s charger last that long?

      • Allcool-dontcare
        Allcool-dontcare
        February 22, 2014 at 10:01 am | #

        3ds charge pretty quickly even though I still have the very first 3ds they came out with. :3

      • Kinoko
        Kinoko
        February 22, 2014 at 11:01 pm | #

        A low-battery 3DS will run off the AC adapter power pretty much as soon as it’s plugged in, as long as you keep it plugged in.

        And who knows? Sounds like Danny’s charger has had a fair bit of experience. 😛

        • Lucas
          Lucas
          February 27, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

          Maybe she needs an amazi-3prong charger?

          eh?

  7. Leorale
    Leorale
    February 22, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    In fairness, those are two good reasons.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 22, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      Mario Kart has never made me mad. But Tekken has made me friggin’ MENTAL.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        February 22, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        MSH vs SF…Cyber Akuma…

        • Foxhack
          Foxhack
          February 22, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

          Cyber Akuma’s a wuss compared to some of the crap the Tekken bosses pull off.

          At least he doesn’t drain away 75% of your health in one hit…

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            February 22, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

            Not to mention Unknown from TT2 Who drains ALL your health and then switches you out.

            • Kinoko
              Kinoko
              February 22, 2014 at 11:05 pm | #

              ^ THIS.

              Glad I didn’t play the arcade version, because Unknown would have eaten so many quarters.

          • Aizat
            Aizat
            February 22, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

            Try Magaki from KOF 11. Motherfucker won’t even let you touch him.

            • Lou
              Lou
              February 22, 2014 at 1:38 am | #

              This! So much this. Move takes up the whole screen and doesn’t use any special bar.

      • Jackson
        Jackson
        February 22, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

        You guys ever play Lifeforce? The sequel to Gradius that hates you and wants you to die?

        • Tenn
          Tenn
          February 22, 2014 at 5:59 am | #

          (Implying that Gradius doesn’t.)

          • Jackson
            Jackson
            February 22, 2014 at 12:29 pm | #

            Point.

            • Jen Aside
              Jen Aside
              February 22, 2014 at 10:54 pm | #

              GRADIUS III

              *throws into street*

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        February 22, 2014 at 12:46 am | #

        My siblings and I play MK64 whenever we gather at our old house. To be honest, it’s one of the only times I swear. We all do, though. There was one instance, out of all the times, I’ll remember. It was Peach’s Castle. My brother had gotten lightning, and hit it as I was about to go off the ramp. While watching to make sure he hit at the right time, he accidently drove off the track, missing the entrance to the same ramp. During this, the lightning caused one of my sisters to spin out at the end of the curve at the beginning of the course, and into the water. My other sister fell into the lake, right behind the finish line.
        All together, we each swore.
        I wish it had been the same word.
        But it wasn’t.
        Still, i love the memory of a simultaneous sibling swear.
        We all couldn’t stop laughing for at least ten minutes.

        • Tenn
          Tenn
          February 22, 2014 at 5:59 am | #

          I dunno, I think different swears could be funnier…

          “Fuck!”
          “Shitcock!”
          “Titmuffins!”
          “Isaac Newton’s explosive diarrhea on a pukewaffle!”

          Mental image? You’re welcome.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          February 25, 2014 at 3:34 pm | #

          Boy, the current residents of your old house must get really confused about these strangers in their home.

    • clodia
      clodia
      February 22, 2014 at 12:56 am | #

      Yep, seems legitimate to me.

  8. Aizat
    Aizat
    February 22, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Hey, that’s my reaction every time I play FFTA2.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      February 22, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      Or fighting Don Sauzer in SRW A.

  9. Michelle
    Michelle
    February 22, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    Hey, the alt text works on my iPad now! How convenient, now I have another platform on which to obsessively update and follow this comic!

    • Michelle
      Michelle
      February 22, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Why, I can get the midnight update while hiding in the bushes at Willis’ house, if I wanted to. (No, no, just kidding – his wifi isn’t good enough.)

      • Pat
        Pat
        February 22, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

        If you’re waiting until it’s on the internet anyway, what difference does proximity make?

      • Marisa Mockery
        Marisa Mockery
        February 22, 2014 at 2:00 am | #

        Midnight? Hah. Where I live I get it at 7 PM. 😉

    • Vanessa
      Vanessa
      February 22, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

      What, how? I wish I could see it.

      • Kisai
        Kisai
        February 22, 2014 at 4:48 am | #

        On a touch-enabled device, tap the empty space to the left or right of the navigation buttons.

        • Random832
          Random832
          February 22, 2014 at 4:14 pm | #

          Also, it appears in the center of the zoomed-out viewport, so if you zoomed in to view the comic you’ll need to scroll roughly to the post section (where the tags etc appear)

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      February 22, 2014 at 12:39 am | #

      TELL ME, TELL US. BUT ME. TELL ME HOW! I ONLY GET A LINK!

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        February 22, 2014 at 10:56 pm | #

        There’s a bit in the empty space just under the last panel, tap there and it will bring up the alt text in a weird overlay [or, it does on my iPad]

        • Vanessa
          Vanessa
          February 23, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

          So weird! I got it once, but now I can’t make it happen again!!!

  10. Pteropine
    Pteropine
    February 22, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    I never realised how well I can empathise with Sal.

  11. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    February 22, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Sal totally just robbed the F-bomb list.

    • Bill
      Bill
      February 22, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      Or at least gave herself a seemingly insurmountable lead….

    • Bill
      Bill
      February 22, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      ps – I make it to be 76 in the 4th panel alone.

      • Zababcd
        Zababcd
        February 22, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        For anyone who’s confused about the number, the 77th mentioned in hovertext was panel two.

    • Valdrax
      Valdrax
      February 22, 2014 at 1:51 am | #

      You know, I think you can stop worry about saying the word “fuck” when you’re busy drawing it.

  12. toddtr
    toddtr
    February 22, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Did Sal play all night? Has Danny ruined Sal’s life?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 22, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      Danny ruins everyone’s life.

      • Glacirus
        Glacirus
        February 22, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        Seconded.

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          February 22, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

          +1

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        February 22, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

        Sometimes he makes their lives better……so they have farther to fall later.

        • Ard
          Ard
          February 22, 2014 at 2:00 pm | #

          He is the anti-Mike.

    • Pat
      Pat
      February 22, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

      I doubt it… It probably didn’t have a full battery when he gave it to her, and she’s only running out now.

      And in that time she almost beat his record.

  13. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    February 22, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    And Sal zips ahead….

    But only in saying Fuck.

  14. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    February 22, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Don’t even get her started on Mario Racism. JUSTICE FOR TOADS. NO BLOOD FOR SHROOMS!

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      February 22, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      GOOMBAS ARE PEOPLE TOO! FAIR WAGES FOR ALL KOOPA TROOPAS!

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        February 22, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

        WE DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS WAR, BOWSER!

        • Aizat
          Aizat
          February 22, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

          BUT YOU JUST HAD TO KIDNAP THE PRINCESS, DON’T YOU?

          • Mr. Random
            Mr. Random
            February 22, 2014 at 12:50 am | #

            THE ARISTOCRACY IS CORRUPT OR INEPT. IF THE ROYAL FAMILY WILL NOT LEAD US, WE WILL CHOOSE OUR OWN KING. AND HE WILL LEAD US TO A NEW NATION, ONE THE OLD CAN NOT HOPE TO STAND AGAINST!

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              February 25, 2014 at 3:36 pm | #

              Must be why the princess changes castles so frequently.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 22, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      But is it as bad as COD racism?

      • nothri
        nothri
        February 22, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

        Fish do get a pretty bad rap when it comes to sterotyping.

      • Mr K
        Mr K
        February 22, 2014 at 2:23 pm | #

        Why do you think Call of Duty is racist?

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          February 22, 2014 at 8:22 pm | #

          Not so much CoD itself just a number of the players.

          • Mr K
            Mr K
            February 22, 2014 at 10:05 pm | #

            Why are so many idiot 12 year olds on it?

            • newllend
              newllend
              May 17, 2014 at 8:21 pm | #

              Bad parenting that’s why.

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      February 22, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      THOSE BLOCKS WERE TOADS! DOWN WITH PLUMBER LED GENOCIDE!

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        February 22, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

        How dare he free them from their magically created prisons!

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          February 22, 2014 at 12:50 am | #

          But then he eats their heads.

  15. Tom Speelman
    Tom Speelman
    February 22, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    So this is how you shake up the characters, eh? Making Sal a gamer…I can dig it.

  16. Glacirus
    Glacirus
    February 22, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Dear god Danny…you’ve created a monster! An ultra kick-ass and potty-mouth video game monster!

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      February 22, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      Nah…that ain’t a monster.

    • Lauren
      Lauren
      February 22, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

      There already is that kind of monster
      (though Amber doesn’t swear as much)

  17. LiamAldam
    LiamAldam
    February 22, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Interesting… What will happen with this DS/Sal/Danny/Amber/Amazi-girl situation?

    • AgentKeen
      AgentKeen
      February 22, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      Sal/Amber/DS threesome?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        February 22, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        “That’s not how you use the recharger”.

        • AgentKeen
          AgentKeen
          February 22, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

          I feel like making a butt-plug joke would be low-hanging fruit here.

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            February 22, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

            Also vibrator/dildo jokes…

            • AgentKeen
              AgentKeen
              February 22, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

              The real reason that rumble has become an industry standard.

    • Carlos
      Carlos
      February 22, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      With this being a Willis comic, I assure you no good will come of this.

  18. Jelli
    Jelli
    February 22, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

    Oh man, did that bring back college memories of Spiro 2. I feel you, Sal.

    • Jelli
      Jelli
      February 22, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      Spyro, not Spiro. It’s been a long time.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        February 22, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

        Spiro was famous for the “Nattering Nabobs of Negativity” quote.

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          February 22, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiro_Agnew

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      February 22, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

      I was 7 when I first played spyro 2. And I had a PS2 at the time.

      • Drunken Nordmann
        Drunken Nordmann
        February 22, 2014 at 12:57 am | #

        How time flies.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          February 22, 2014 at 1:09 am | #

          Someday I’ll be talking about first Playing Metal Gear Rising in college and a kid will be like “I had that when I was 7!” and It’ll finally have come full circle.

          • Jelli
            Jelli
            February 22, 2014 at 1:47 am | #

            Nah, you don’t make me feel old. Maybe a little wistful. 7-year old me would have loved Spyro.

          • RandomRedMage
            RandomRedMage
            February 22, 2014 at 6:52 am | #

            Any parent who lets their seven year old play Metal Gear Rising… e_e… needs parenting lessons. I love the game, but I just don’t think kids should have access to titles like that. And In my own household… they never will.

            Note, I am not against violent video games… I am just against small children playing them.

            • Tom Speelman
              Tom Speelman
              February 22, 2014 at 9:06 pm | #

              My 15 year old cousin received GTA IV for Christmas a few years back, mostly so he could play in multiplayer with his one friend.

              I’m sort of OK with 15 year olds playing Halo, but giving a game as violent and outsized as GTA to a kid…no way. No friggin’ way.

  19. HAB
    HAB
    February 22, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Wait till she tries flappy bird or twitch plays pokemon

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      February 22, 2014 at 12:51 am | #

      I love TPP. Been watching since The ledge. Anyone else playing?

      • EvilPenguin
        EvilPenguin
        February 22, 2014 at 1:17 am | #

        I remember when we first found our Lord and Savior Helix.

        • Mr. Random
          Mr. Random
          February 22, 2014 at 1:19 am | #

          Ah, an ancient one. How are you?

      • Amazi-Stool
        Amazi-Stool
        February 22, 2014 at 9:32 am | #

        Obligatory xkcd

        • arank11
          arank11
          February 22, 2014 at 11:53 pm | #

          Sir, your name and Gravatar are… Wait for it… Amazing!
          But seriously, love your name and Gravatar

  20. Keroshino
    Keroshino
    February 22, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

    Well, Sal now knows how addictive Mario Kart can be! 😀

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      February 22, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

      Wait till she tries Pokemon.

  21. tlaurence
    tlaurence
    February 22, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

    Now I want to see Mario Kart Let’s Play by Sal Walkerton. Airing as soon as the Twitch chat servers are freed from Twitch Plays Pokemon.

    • Keroshino
      Keroshino
      February 22, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      Damn you Pokemon, I was trying to enjoy VGCW!

    • Carlos
      Carlos
      February 22, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

      SHHHH! Do not speak of such evil things. Invoking the name of chaos incarnate might summon forth the children of Chaos.

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        February 22, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

        Yeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss.

  22. Carlos
    Carlos
    February 22, 2014 at 12:13 am | #

    Calm down Sal. One does not simply get good at Mario Kart over night.

  23. AgentKeen
    AgentKeen
    February 22, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

    Mario Kart is a great distraction from familial racial issues.

    It is not a good stress-reliever, however.

  24. UnspeakableAnger
    UnspeakableAnger
    February 22, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

    Just giggling, and that’s a good way to go to bed. G’nite, all.

  25. GoogerGeiger
    GoogerGeiger
    February 22, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

    Mario Kart is such a college stereotype.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 22, 2014 at 12:26 am | #

      I thought that was MLP.

      • KingMabel
        KingMabel
        February 22, 2014 at 12:58 am | #

        I thought it was D&D.

        • Bill
          Bill
          February 22, 2014 at 2:51 am | #

          Maybe thirty years or so ago.  Then someone invented video games.

          • KingMabel
            KingMabel
            February 22, 2014 at 11:23 am | #

            That’s weird ’cause I got really into all three in college.

    • Jackson
      Jackson
      February 22, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

      As is unleashing a torrent of F-bombs over a video game!

      • Mr K
        Mr K
        February 22, 2014 at 2:24 pm | #

        Sal’s the new AVGN. I’d actually want to see her do a LP of a game.

  26. arank11
    arank11
    February 22, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

    All Internet commentators are different. Some like certain TV shows that others don’t, some ship couples that others believe would never work, and some only comment on the Internet just to anger people. But there IS one thing that I guarantee all people on the Internet can agree on: Rainbow Road is the Antichrist of Mario Kart

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      February 22, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

      Oh man, I have SO many words to say about Rainbow Road, and I’ve only played one Mario Kart game ever (Double Dash). Well, technically it’s mostly just one word repeated multiple times.

    • Azreal
      Azreal
      February 22, 2014 at 12:45 am | #

      Man, I love Rainbow Road. I’m not just saying this to prove you wrong, I genuinely love Rainbow Road.

      • Glacirus
        Glacirus
        February 22, 2014 at 2:19 am | #

        See, I love it too….but I still admit its evil incarnate.

      • Jackson
        Jackson
        February 22, 2014 at 6:08 pm | #

        I love it too. But then, I love Lifeforce, so.

    • Jenny Creed
      Jenny Creed
      February 22, 2014 at 2:26 am | #

      It’s part of the reason why I think Mario Kart peaked in the first installment. It’s probably the hardest Rainbow Road in the series, but it’s entirely fair and once you learn it and can cruise through it like a 150cc angel it’s the best thing ever.

  27. Michaela159
    Michaela159
    February 22, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

    Sal now has an inkling of a gamer’s rage, her initiation has begun >:)

  28. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    February 22, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

    Oh man this brings back memories of staying up late playing Pokemon Gold Version. I remember the first time I came across the Poison condition, which made the screen flash whenever you took a certain number of steps, indicating a loss of a Hit Point for the afflicted Pokemon. I was terrified that something was going wrong with my GameBoy, that maybe it was glitching out or it was losing battery power. In my defense, it was my first ever video game, and I was 8.

  29. waterbuffalo
    waterbuffalo
    February 22, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

    I don’t think anyone realizes how terrible an idea giving Sal a really frustrating game is. That DS isn’t going to last this story arc.

    • Michaela159
      Michaela159
      February 22, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

      Anyone wanna place bets on how long the small blue device will last???

    • Nono
      Nono
      February 22, 2014 at 4:37 am | #

      It isn’t even going to last past the second blue shell.

  30. nothri
    nothri
    February 22, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

    If she ever realizes that Mario is basically several dozen Italian sterotypes glommed together, she will break the world with the power of her rage.

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      February 22, 2014 at 12:54 am | #

      Actually, i kinda want to see how Sal reacts to racism not directed at her.

  31. Kiggy
    Kiggy
    February 22, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

    F-CLUSTERBOMB!!!!!!

  32. LiaHansen
    LiaHansen
    February 22, 2014 at 12:23 am | #

    Dangit! This is like, the fifth comic in a row that I haven’t been around to comment on at precisely 12:02. I’m a disgrace, don’t look at me.

    • Tacdud2
      Tacdud2
      February 22, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

      Hey I sort of feel the same when I don’t comment at exactly at 12:00 over at Gunnerkrigg.

  33. rakketykid
    rakketykid
    February 22, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

    damn it danny you forgot to give her the charger

  34. newllend
    newllend
    February 22, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

    I wonder how she would react to call of duty

  35. Michaela159
    Michaela159
    February 22, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

    Whatever you do Willis don’t ever let her play darksouls, oh god the world would explode… I can see it now, all bright and shiny, actually that might not be so bad.

  36. Romanticide
    Romanticide
    February 22, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

    It will be hell on earth the moment the battery runs out on the ds

  37. Leon
    Leon
    February 22, 2014 at 12:35 am | #

    Did she even sleep?

  38. Sam
    Sam
    February 22, 2014 at 12:36 am | #

    Hehe, this comic amused me so much. XD

  39. KingMabel
    KingMabel
    February 22, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

    I told you Yoshi cheats!

    He always gets those red shells!

    EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!

  40. takashid
    takashid
    February 22, 2014 at 12:41 am | #

    Oh man i figured that whole DS situation would go somewhere but i didn’t expect this. I cant wait to see her next interaction with Danny, him knowing that Billie was dumb and she isnt Amazi girl. I wonder if Sal will demand his charger or just go buy one of her own.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      February 22, 2014 at 1:19 pm | #

      She probably doesn’t know that it -uses- a charger.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        February 22, 2014 at 1:36 pm | #

        She seems to know it has a battery…

  41. Tacdud2
    Tacdud2
    February 22, 2014 at 12:52 am | #

    So Sal kept Billie up with her Mario karting?

  42. DK1105
    DK1105
    February 22, 2014 at 12:56 am | #

    Did anyone else check that it was indeed 77 fucks?

    • Mr. Random
      Mr. Random
      February 22, 2014 at 1:05 am | #

      4 columns, with 19 rows from panel 4, plus 1 from panel 2.
      4*19+1=80-4+1=77

      • Yotsuyasan
        Yotsuyasan
        February 22, 2014 at 1:21 am | #

        Aw, man… That’s what I get for checking later then midnight, someone beat me to noticing that the number was accurate. I was all set to comment on it myself, but figured I should check if anyone else had first, before I ended up just being redundant.

    • DarkoNeko
      DarkoNeko
      April 14, 2015 at 10:23 pm | #

      Yes. Yes I did. Well, that’s counting the ones hidden by the 2 characters.

  43. Valmore
    Valmore
    February 22, 2014 at 1:13 am | #

    At least it’s not the Street Fighter Alpha arcade console with “Cheater Ken” in the middle of the single player quest mode, who exists only to suck more money from your pockets.

  44. Yotsuyasan
    Yotsuyasan
    February 22, 2014 at 1:28 am | #

    You know, normally I like seeing Billie… But these last few strips, I’m still having my perceptions coloured by knowing what went down between her and Ruth… I can only hope that the reason she looks so miserable is because she was up all night agonizing over it (hopefully not with the aid of her favorite vice), and just because Sal kept her up all night swearing at Mario Cart.

    If the story does keep on Billie for a bit, I hope it before too long involves her confiding in someone about what happened, and that someone then giving her the mental equivalent of a whap upside the back of the head. Or hell, even a physical slap, I suppose.

    The kind of slap that, in my younger days, I would have called a “Manuel.” But these days, I guess it is more of a “DiNozzo.” Yes, that would do nicely.

    • Cybersnark
      Cybersnark
      February 22, 2014 at 8:47 am | #

      You mean the Gibbs-slap.

      DiNozzo doesn’t get a slap named after him.

    • Renee
      Renee
      February 22, 2014 at 12:40 pm | #

      A Manuel! Even decades later, still infinitely superior to a Gibbs-slap.

    • BlackIo
      BlackIo
      February 22, 2014 at 1:13 pm | #

      “If the story does keep on Billie for a bit, I hope it before too long involves her confiding in someone about what happened.”

      Joyce would be an excellent choice, seeing as we know she’s completely cool about underage drinking, homosexuality, and flat-out lying. (The trifecta!)

      • ninja_jesus
        ninja_jesus
        February 22, 2014 at 6:25 pm | #

        Maybe she’s the only person Billie should be confiding in, given that Joyce would actually want to help her friend and do something to get Billie and Ruth to being friends again.

  45. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    February 22, 2014 at 1:34 am | #

    I knew Sal was hooked when she kept on playing on the sidewalk. I’d like to see her in a full Pc setup dungeon crawl like old EQ.
    She’d melt the monitor.

    And now maybe I know why Billie looks so damned pooped …. had the FBomb dropped on her all night.

  46. saltchocolate
    saltchocolate
    February 22, 2014 at 1:47 am | #

    This was the right order for funniest, Willis!

  47. Nat
    Nat
    February 22, 2014 at 1:51 am | #

    oh i get it. she likes motorcycles and racing. hehe.

  48. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    February 22, 2014 at 1:52 am | #

    Now I know I can blame Danny for this one.

  49. David
    David
    February 22, 2014 at 1:54 am | #

    Looks like Danny dannied this up in his sleep.

  50. someone
    someone
    February 22, 2014 at 1:55 am | #

    So, topics to avoid with Sal: races and races.

    • Jenny Creed
      Jenny Creed
      February 22, 2014 at 2:29 am | #

      Singing “Camptown Races” near her is probably the fastest and most painful way to commit suicide.

  51. PureMajora
    PureMajora
    February 22, 2014 at 2:19 am | #

    This makes me very happy. I think this would also make Danny happy and forget that he just gave his 3DS to a complete stranger. I also really hope this brings Sal and Danny together as friends over Mariokart. There is no greater bond.

    • John
      John
      February 22, 2014 at 3:16 am | #

      I’m hoping it brings Sal and Amber together as friends over Mario Kart, with neither of them realizing who the other actually is and that they had prior history until they’ve forged a bond of friendship through multiplayer.

      Of course, Willis feeds on our tears, so it’ll probably end up with Amber assaulting Sal to get Danny’s DS back.

      • David
        David
        February 22, 2014 at 6:56 am | #

        Willis feeds on our tears, so it will end up with Amber trying to win back Danny’s DS by challenging Sal to a tournament and losing her own DS in that manner.

  52. John
    John
    February 22, 2014 at 2:48 am | #

    I haven’t been counting partials, like Joyce’s “FFFFFffffff….” the other day, so I think I’m only giving Sal 30 for this strip, the ones where all four letters are mostly unobscured.

    That is plenty enough to cleanly snatch the lead away from Billie, though. Sal’s still trailing Naomi in the fuck/strip rating, though. (That sounds dirtier than it really is.)

    • Bill
      Bill
      February 22, 2014 at 2:55 am | #

      I respectfully disagree.  Even Willis himself said (in the alt-text) that there were 77 “fucks” in this strip, so I think that’s the number you need to go with.
      As for not counting Joyce’s abortive attempt at “FFFFFfffff”, I agree with you there.

      • John
        John
        February 22, 2014 at 5:55 am | #

        When you spend like three days plowing through the archives from the beginning to count the number of times everyone says “fuck”, you can decide what counts and what doesn’t.

        There are only 54 that are even partially visible. I ain’t nohow gonna count 23 “fuck”s that aren’t even in the strip, even if Willis promises that they’re there hidden behind Billie and Joyce.

        • The Weirdo
          The Weirdo
          February 22, 2014 at 8:25 am | #

          S’just a matter of multiplication. 4 columns times 19 rows, plus Sal’s adjective from panel 2. Counting individually is a waste of time you could be using for more important things. Like world domination, or plotting the demise of your enemies, or loitering while never breaking eye contact with cops.

      • Sam
        Sam
        February 22, 2014 at 12:33 pm | #

        John doesn’t ‘need’ to go with that number. As the one keeping track, he gets the right to choose what counts and what does not. If he is going with partials not counting, that is his choice, as long as he is consistent about it. And I personally agree with his decision as some of them aren’t even visible behind Billie and Joyce while others only show two letters which, though we can assume are all for the same word, could also just as easily be for other words that he threw in as we have no way of proving that they all are the same word. There could be the word ‘fudge’ or ‘luck’ thrown in there for fun and we would never know because we have no way of proving that one word is the sole one written.

        • Ace
          Ace
          February 22, 2014 at 2:58 pm | #

          The author himself said that they were all “fuck”. They’re all spaced out perfectly evenly, too. The guy keeping track can do whatever he wants, but your justification is flimsy.

          • xKiv
            xKiv
            February 22, 2014 at 6:36 pm | #

            Fucks given outside the strips don’t count even though we know they happen.
            “Informed ability” fucks don’t count either.

          • John
            John
            February 22, 2014 at 8:05 pm | #

            There’s an argument for counting the partially visible ones, because they’re not cut off, they’re just partially concealed, but I don’t think it’s consistent with the way I’ve been counting up to this point.

            The part of that fuck array that isn’t visible at all, though, isn’t actually in the strip, and counting things that aren’t actually depicted in the strip, even if we know they happened within its scope, doesn’t really seem supportable.

            It’d be like claiming that we’ve seen Joyce topless because we know she took her shirt off a couple strips ago.

  53. Locke
    Locke
    February 22, 2014 at 4:55 am | #

    I just want Joyce to start flapping her arms like a bird.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      February 22, 2014 at 11:26 am | #

      That would be the Most Adorable.

  54. John
    John
    February 22, 2014 at 6:08 am | #

    Oh, checking out arts on the Tumblr and noticed that there’s some drama going on involving a jerk with my name. I just wanted to make clear that that isn’t me. It’s an unfortunately common name.

    • alicemacher
      alicemacher
      February 22, 2014 at 4:04 pm | #

      I shouldn’t worry about that. Given that the posts all make it clear that it’s John Campbell, specifically, and that he’s fairly well-known as the Pictures of Sad Children cartoonist, I’m not sure why you’d think people would assume it’s you. The only well-known individuals I’m aware of who are identified as just “John” are the authors of the fourth Gospel, of the epistles 1 through 3 John, and of Revelation. And they’re all deceased, so they’re probably safe from association with either you or John Campbell.

      • alicemacher
        alicemacher
        February 22, 2014 at 4:21 pm | #

        …That last sentence came out wrong. I didn’t mean to group you and John Campbell together. You seem like a decent person.

      • David Willis
        David M Willis
        February 22, 2014 at 4:26 pm | #

        This John is also a John Campbell.

        • alicemacher
          alicemacher
          February 22, 2014 at 5:40 pm | #

          Oops. >.<

          • John
            John
            February 22, 2014 at 6:01 pm | #

            Yeah, no reason you should know that. I switched to using my full name over on BBR a while back because of random-gravatar collision with another John, but haven’t bothered here because I didn’t feel like having to get approved again. Willis knows because his magic admin powers let him see my email.

            But, yeah, I’m John Campbell. I’m not that John Campbell. (Nor am I a deceased science fiction editor, or my uncle, or my grandfather, or that other guy that was in a couple of my classes in junior high, which was all kinds of fun when we had substitute teachers, let me tell you…)

            • Kamino Neko
              Kamino Neko
              February 22, 2014 at 7:52 pm | #

              If you want to disambig, you could start calling yourself John Campbell Who is Neither a Giant Douche Nor Dead.

              Or if that’s too much of a mouthful, John Cougar Bellincamp. >_>

              (Of course to paraphrase Michael Bolton from Office Space: Why should [you] change? He’s the one who sucks!)

              Really, I just wanted an excuse to make the John Cougar Bellincamp joke.

          • David Willis
            David M Willis
            February 22, 2014 at 6:28 pm | #

            This information brought to you by I Can See Everyone’s Email Addresses But You Can’t.

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      February 22, 2014 at 6:29 pm | #

      You must redeem the name of John Campbell by absorbing the souls of other John Campbells. There can be only one!

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        February 25, 2014 at 3:44 pm | #

        Crap, John Smith has a heck of a job ahead then.

  55. CianM1301
    CianM1301
    February 22, 2014 at 6:28 am | #

    Oh yeah, I forgot Sal had Danny’s 3DS…

  56. Crumplepunch
    Crumplepunch
    February 22, 2014 at 8:26 am | #

    Or hand stabbings.

    She can probably lose her temper about hand stabbings.

  57. Jimbo
    Jimbo
    February 22, 2014 at 9:14 am | #

    Two things

    1. Love Joyce’s new outfit
    2. Love that Sal is addicted to Mario Kart now

  58. Chase
    Chase
    February 22, 2014 at 10:38 am | #

    I wonder when Danny’s going to remember he gave the wrong person his DS now that he knows who Amazigirl really is…. and if he’ll be mad at Billie for steering him wrong…

    • SilverArrowArtemis
      SilverArrowArtemis
      February 22, 2014 at 10:52 am | #

      Well, it’s only the next day…

    • davidbreslin101
      davidbreslin101
      February 22, 2014 at 11:20 am | #

      Later today-
      AMBER: Where’s your DS, Danny?
      DANNY: I thought I gave it to you.

  59. Bugberry
    Bugberry
    February 22, 2014 at 11:26 am | #

    Same feeling when I get a crit on a rare Pokemon.

  60. Shanunu
    Shanunu
    February 22, 2014 at 11:41 am | #

    I did not think Sal would actually play the 3DS.

  61. MarcinMN
    MarcinMN
    February 22, 2014 at 11:52 am | #

    And that’s when the blue shell hit her…

  62. Minder
    Minder
    February 22, 2014 at 1:17 pm | #

    Oh my god.

    I didn’t think I could love Sal any more AND THEN THIS

  63. March
    March
    February 22, 2014 at 4:28 pm | #

    Yeah. This is pretty much what I expected to happen. It’s always the calm ones who lose their shit over Mario Kart and Animal Crossing.

  64. Kugai
    Kugai
    February 22, 2014 at 5:58 pm | #

    Grud help us if she ever starts playing World of Tanks

  65. Ruck Bogers
    Ruck Bogers
    February 22, 2014 at 6:46 pm | #

    Someone keeps charts on you, Willis?

    Nah, that doesn’t really surprise me.

    • John
      John
      February 22, 2014 at 7:44 pm | #

      A while back I had cause to make the claim that Billie said “fuck” more often than everyone else in the comic put together, with the disclaimer that I hadn’t actually counted. A few days later the subject came up again, and I didn’t really have anything else to do, so I decided to actually count and find out if it was really true or not. And then I had the raw numbers, so why not pretty ’em up and post them? Keeping it updated since has been minimal effort.

      (For a surprising amount of the run of the comic it was actually true. Billie took the comic’s virginity, and then went back and forth with Everyone Else until her confrontation with Sal over the roommate agreement, where she seized an absolute majority of all “fuck”s and held it for two years, until Naomi’s cluster-f-bomb and then Sal going off on Walky pulled Everyone Else ahead. And now Sal’s seized the lead for not just Everyone Else, but for herself alone. Billie’s been off her game for a while, but maybe her recent romantic issues will get her swearing again.)

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        February 22, 2014 at 11:00 pm | #

        Just realized that “77” counts the ones that are covered up by Billie and Joyce, is that fair?

  66. Charles Phipps
    Charles Phipps
    February 22, 2014 at 7:02 pm | #

    The oversized sleeves and pony tail make Joyce the most adorable thing ever.

  67. John
    John
    February 22, 2014 at 9:20 pm | #

    So, uh, I think the Carla-in-Joyce’s-outfit art was missing something. So I added it.

    • David Willis
      David M Willis
      February 22, 2014 at 9:26 pm | #

      That’s not actually Dumbiverse Carla, but Walkyverse Ultra Car. You can tell by the slightly different hair, squared-off pupils and dialog balloon, and the Walkyverse-style Head Alien and Monkey Master leggings.

      • John
        John
        February 22, 2014 at 9:41 pm | #

        So you’re saying I should’ve added the third bird popping out of her chest, too?

        I actually noticed that she’s got the square robot word balloon, though I hadn’t noticed the other character-design differences. But you can’t say “Ultra-Car” here.

        • Maveric1984
          Maveric1984
          February 22, 2014 at 11:59 pm | #

          Jeeze, now I’m curious what you guys are saying…

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        February 22, 2014 at 9:45 pm | #

        Gotta admit, either way…those are definitely an appropriate addition.

      • Clif
        Clif
        February 22, 2014 at 11:56 pm | #

        Wait. You set up the forum so it censors you as well?

  68. Doc Harleen
    Doc Harleen
    February 22, 2014 at 10:32 pm | #

    “Mario Kart and racism.” I actually have an appreciation for Sal’s priorities (possibly just because I am fairly high-strung, but still).

  69. mrmudkip
    mrmudkip
    February 22, 2014 at 10:36 pm | #

    Well, that’s how I play Mario kart. And every other video game

  70. Joe
    Joe
    February 23, 2014 at 4:09 pm | #

    Jesus shit, Mario Kart 7 is hard as fucking hell. I thought I’d be golden from a childhood tempered by the rest of the series, but it’s not even like these computers cheat. They actually just race very well. Which is so much harder to deal with than outright cheating.

  71. GizmoRyda
    GizmoRyda
    February 26, 2014 at 3:34 pm | #

    I too loose my temper and am filled with rage when it comes to Mario kart

  72. TheOtherDibbler
    TheOtherDibbler
    March 23, 2014 at 7:52 am | #

    Ha HA! We have a convert! XD

  73. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    April 14, 2015 at 11:16 pm | #

    You know, re-reading : Danny managed to get Sal to stop disappearing from her room without notice and it’s quite a miracle. Give the boy some credit there.

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