Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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June 24, 2026

Receptionist

by David M Willis on June 25, 2014 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Up All Night to Get Vengeance
└ Tags: danny, jennifer, joyce, sal

Discussion (194) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. AHR
    AHR
    June 25, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Wow the universe is strange Danny and Joyce are interacting and it’s adorable.

    • Deathjavu
      Deathjavu
      June 25, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      As opposed to their earliest alternate universe interactions, which were less adorable and more…creepy.

      • Catullus
        Catullus
        June 25, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

        On the other hand, the earlier universe had a comedically oversized calculator, which would probably come in handy right about now.

  2. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    June 25, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Oh No! Thanks for saving me from seeing a naked lady!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 25, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      I mean, who could want to see something like that anyhow?

      • Sir Robin
        Sir Robin
        June 25, 2014 at 6:26 am | #

        Not Ethan

        • RevenantBacon
          RevenantBacon
          June 25, 2014 at 8:20 pm | #

          *Garden of Eden* style. *snickers*

    • newllend
      newllend
      June 25, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      Ya not like I was looking forward to that or nothing thanks a lot! (Fucker)

    • DiDi
      DiDi
      June 25, 2014 at 1:09 am | #

      Well, this is Danny. I’m pretty sure he actually didn’t want to.

      This is the guy who stopped things with Billie because he was afraid of taking advantage of her.

      He’d probably have a similar thought of unintentionally seeing Sal naked too.

      • Axel
        Axel
        June 25, 2014 at 1:57 am | #

        Yeah, I’m gonna say that even if it would have been nice on one level, he probably would have been uncomfortable and felt guilty for no particular reason and would start the conversation off awkwardly. He’d also probably apologize and then Sal would be annoyed at him for apologizing.

        Joyce is just saving them the trouble.

  3. Chico
    Chico
    June 25, 2014 at 12:01 am | #

    Eyes closed or not, lucky sonuva bongo.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 25, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

      Just by being in the same room as a naked Sal he has achieved what many have thought impossible.

      • Nono
        Nono
        June 25, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

        Billie is in the same room as a naked Sal every night.

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          June 25, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

          Billie is a hot lady. Billie sleeps next to a naked hot lady. Billie was almost in a relationship with a hot lady. Billie clearly got the jackpot (and then lost the ticket)

          • Cheryl
            Cheryl
            June 25, 2014 at 9:42 pm | #

            HAHAHA lost the ticket!

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          June 25, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

          And yet she’s not happy because?

          • newllend
            newllend
            June 25, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

            She’s not making out with a nother hot lady right now?

            • Plasma Mongoose
              Plasma Mongoose
              June 25, 2014 at 12:15 am | #

              A good a reason as any I have heard.

            • LeslieBean4Shizzle
              LeslieBean4Shizzle
              June 25, 2014 at 1:33 am | #

              That is a very good reason to be unhappy. I know I’d be unhappy if I didn’t have another hot lady to make out with.

            • Scoops
              Scoops
              June 25, 2014 at 1:57 am | #

              Next Slipshine: Billie Making Out With Another Hot Lady Right Now

              • Ocbrad1
                Ocbrad1
                June 25, 2014 at 9:28 am | #

                My subscription is waiting…

                • Ivan
                  Ivan
                  June 25, 2014 at 10:52 am | #

                  If only I could draw something other than a graph.

                • Jen Aside
                  Jen Aside
                  June 25, 2014 at 8:35 pm | #

                  I can draw… a bath? Draw… the curtains?

      • Sam
        Sam
        June 25, 2014 at 11:35 am | #

        After all those years of Danning it up big time, Danny finally Danned himself into a pretty sweet situation.

    • masterofbones
      masterofbones
      June 25, 2014 at 1:01 am | #

      I wish just being in a room with a girl was as much fun as you make it out to be. I wouldn’t have to bother with going any further if that were the case. A lot less work that way.

  4. Spectre
    Spectre
    June 25, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    I didn’t know Eve had biker gloves.

    • Spectre
      Spectre
      June 25, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      …Oh, right. Hover text. Forgot about that. XD

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 25, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

      See, that’s what happen when you keep a book around for several millenia. Stuff gets lost in translation.

    • Wonder Wig
      Wonder Wig
      June 25, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

      Her name is short for Eveil Kinievel.

    • Swerve
      Swerve
      June 25, 2014 at 10:45 am | #

      No, she had to settle for regular snakeskin gloves. Get it? Yeah that was a pretty lame one.

      Anyway, since Billie’s left the room, and Sal’s awake, who wants engex?

  5. sps48
    sps48
    June 25, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    But I wanna see her!

  6. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    June 25, 2014 at 12:02 am | #

    How does Joyce know and besides, she still has her gloves on so she isn’t totally buff.

    • LimeTH
      LimeTH
      June 25, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

      She woke Sal up once only to find out she sleeps nude.

    • TheKelliestKelly
      TheKelliestKelly
      June 25, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

      Joyce knows from waking up Sal a few in-comic-days ago http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/bunk/

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        June 25, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

        I feel kinda silly now for forgeting suchh a key moment.

    • Kirt
      Kirt
      June 25, 2014 at 11:55 am | #

      Naked and wearing only gloves is just fetish fuel. Joyce is saving Danny from a life where he can only orgasm in the presence of biker gloves.

  7. MrSirk
    MrSirk
    June 25, 2014 at 12:03 am | #

    Sal’s rockin the Mickey Mouse swag!

  8. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    June 25, 2014 at 12:04 am | #

    Joyce’s first interaction with Danny in this universe is to shield his eyes from nakedness.

    Yeah, that sounds about right.

    • tinfoil theory
      tinfoil theory
      June 25, 2014 at 1:41 am | #

      I love how Danny just goes along with what Joyce is doing.

    • LiamAldam
      LiamAldam
      June 25, 2014 at 8:01 am | #

      Second interaction. She first met him as Joe’s roommate.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        June 25, 2014 at 11:47 am | #

        The never spoke to each other or even acknowledged that the other existed from what I remember, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s their first interaction.

  9. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    June 25, 2014 at 12:05 am | #

    Next Slipshine: Sal performs an Eve.

    • ShaggyDonahugh
      ShaggyDonahugh
      June 25, 2014 at 12:07 am | #

      Sal becomes modest, shields her nakedness, and submits to a man?
      Worst. Slipshine. Ever.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        June 25, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

        Oh right. I forgot that that story had kind of a shitty ending for all involved, especially Eve.

        • ShaggyDonahugh
          ShaggyDonahugh
          June 25, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

          It’s okay Yotomoe, if it’d been Sal performs a Lilith, it’d been the hottest one ever.

          • Plasma Mongoose
            Plasma Mongoose
            June 25, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

            Which Lilith, not the one from Frasier I hope.

            • ShaggyDonahugh
              ShaggyDonahugh
              June 25, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

              No, of course not. Lilith was supposedly Adam’s first wife, and she was made from the dust just as he was. However, she denied Adam top spot, and so Adam got shitty, told God, and she was banished from Eden. Then God made Eve from Adam’s rib, thus putting her “below” Adam.
              Personally I find it a load of crock, but hey, whatever. Good on Lilith I suppose.

              • Yotomoe
                Yotomoe
                June 25, 2014 at 12:24 am | #

                See anyone who blames Eve for humanities problems is wrong. It’s Adam’s fault! That petty asshole! I bet Lilith was a dynamite gal
                Dynamite gal
                Dynamite gal
                Dynamite Ga-
                *gets eaten*

              • Kennerly
                Kennerly
                June 25, 2014 at 1:12 am | #

                After that Lilith has a bunch of demon babies (fathered by, I don’t know, satan?) and spends eternity causing miscarrages and murdering children.

                • ShaggyDonahugh
                  ShaggyDonahugh
                  June 25, 2014 at 1:18 am | #

                  I thought it honestly would be Cain. After all, he was cast out of his father’s grace after killing his brother.

                • LeslieBean4Shizzle
                  LeslieBean4Shizzle
                  June 25, 2014 at 1:35 am | #

                  Actually, fathered by Samael. Along with three other female angels, Naamah, Eisheth, and Agrat. Together with Lilith, they’re the four angels of sacred prostitution.

                  Enjoy weird Jewish mysticism. I know I do.

              • tinfoil theory
                tinfoil theory
                June 25, 2014 at 1:44 am | #

                It is kind of an important point that Lilith was not banished, but left paradise of her own free will.

                And then had lots of relations with coastal demons.

                • ShaggyDonahugh
                  ShaggyDonahugh
                  June 25, 2014 at 1:57 am | #

                  It’s funny they were demons. Might have just been people.

                • tinfoil theory
                  tinfoil theory
                  June 25, 2014 at 2:32 am | #

                  ShaggyDonahugh, I am of the firm opinion that demons are people, too. Just not, you know, of The People.

                • Swerve
                  Swerve
                  June 25, 2014 at 10:59 am | #

                  The thing is that Lillith isn’t known as a feminist role model until the 20th century. Before then she’s known for causing Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, miscarriages, longer than normal menstrual cycles, and nocturnal emissions. She’s also considered so dangerous that three angels are sent to imprison and guard her. The entrance to the Garden of Eden only got two angels assigned to guard it. And that’s not to mention her time as a Herald of Unicron!

                • StClair
                  StClair
                  June 26, 2014 at 1:20 am | #

                  You’re making that middle part up.

                  (Seriously: this tells you all that you need to know about the mindset of the people men who wrote this stuff down. A woman who refuses to submit to her husband! OMG, hide your babies and set THREE powerful supernatural beings to be her jailers!)

                • StClair
                  StClair
                  June 26, 2014 at 1:21 am | #

                  people men

                  I fail at markup. :p

                • tinfoil theory
                  tinfoil theory
                  June 26, 2014 at 2:47 am | #

                  StClair, the three angelic divorce lawyers that God sent after her to convince her to come back to Adam, and failing that killed her progeny, and are consequently invoked to prevent sudden infant death syndrome, were all female, actually.

                • tinfoil theory
                  tinfoil theory
                  June 26, 2014 at 2:50 am | #

                  But yes, it was written by a man, probably meant as satire.

                • Swerve
                  Swerve
                  June 26, 2014 at 12:55 pm | #

                  @StClair: Um, no, I only made up the Herald of Unicron part. (But c’mon, she would totally jump at the chance!)

                  There are amulets and prayers designed to ward Lillith’s presence away, usually hung next to, or recited next to, a home’s Mezuzah.

          • torstu
            torstu
            June 26, 2014 at 12:30 am | #

            sal refuses to submit to a man and leaves to become mother to demons?
            also worst slipshine ever.

            …actually, that ending would be pretty awesome!

        • AgentKeen
          AgentKeen
          June 25, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

          Kinda had a shitty start.

          ‘Sure, women actually give birth and deal with all the issues that go with it, but the first woman was made from Adam’s rib, so know your place and be thankful!’

          • Drunken Nordmann
            Drunken Nordmann
            June 25, 2014 at 12:47 am | #

            If you count Lilith, Eve was his second wife. Seems a bit strange to me – the Catholic Church is against divorce, but Adam got a free pass why exactly?

            • masterofbones
              masterofbones
              June 25, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

              Because the whole thing about Lilith isn’t canon. It is bible fanfic.

              • Drunken Nordmann
                Drunken Nordmann
                June 25, 2014 at 1:21 am | #

                Which makes some people’s opionion that the whole bible is more or less fanfiction all the more hilarious.

              • tinfoil theory
                tinfoil theory
                June 25, 2014 at 1:53 am | #

                It is not exactly Bible fanfic and rather Torah fanfic; it is Jewish mysticism. It was a deliberate interpretation of the two separate accounts of creation in Genesis: First man and woman (Adam & Adama) are created as equals from dust; then a week later, Man is created, becomes lonely (some say he tried to get it on with every animal in the zoo), before God gifted him with a clone of his own with the Y cromosome changed to X. So what happened to the first woman?

                • Mc
                  Mc
                  June 25, 2014 at 3:22 am | #

                  Gabriel: “God, we need to talk”
                  The big G: “Now what?”
                  Gabriel: “You *really* need to get Adam a wife of sorts…”
                  G: “why?”
                  Gabriel: “The sheep are getting STDs…”

              • Fred
                Fred
                June 25, 2014 at 11:05 am | #

                If you’re taking that route, The New Testament is a sequel with new writers, and the Catholic Church is a reboot.

                • Swerve
                  Swerve
                  June 25, 2014 at 11:32 am | #

                  Fred, here’s how it works out:

                  The five books of the Torah are the original movies. The early Prophets are the first TV spin-off. The later Prophets, Psalms, and the rest of the “Hagiographia” are spin-offs of the first spin-off.

                  The Midrash and the Talmud are the Expanded Universe; authorized books, video games, tabletop RPGs and comic books.

                  The Apocrypha and Pseudepigrapha are fanfic.

                  The New Testament is a reboot of the original which is popular with new fans, but ignored by fans of the original. The producers of the remaining try to tie it into the original, but usually ignore the original in favor of outlandish plots and a Mary Sue hero.

                  The Covenant of the Primes is a prequel.

                • Kaoy
                  Kaoy
                  June 25, 2014 at 2:43 pm | #

                  @Swerve

                  My God… Its full of stars…

            • Swerve
              Swerve
              June 25, 2014 at 11:15 am | #

              Chava (aka Eve) was Adam’s third wife, not his second. First was Lillith, who was both male and female, like Adam. Then came a second wife, created out of Adam’s body, while he was awake, and Adam got kinda squirmed out by seeing the whole process. Poor woman didn’t even get a name! Finally, Adam was put to sleep, and Eve was created from Adam’s body. When he woke up he saw her fully formed, unlike the second wife, whom he saw as her skeletal structure, muscles and skin were forming.

              Neil Gaiman recounts all this in an issue of “The Sandman”; you don’t need to learn Bereishis Rabbah to learn it.

              Also, calling the Torah “fan-fiction” could be construed as Judeophobic. Now you know. And knowing is half the battle!

              Man, I could have totally done PSA’s back in the G1 cartoon!

          • tinfoil theory
            tinfoil theory
            June 25, 2014 at 1:48 am | #

            The whole gving birth in pain thing was because whe seduced Adam, though. There were no childrenin paradise (which is probably why it was paradise.) The lesson is: Don’t have sex, or you’ll get pregnant or have to find a job.

            What is especially juicy is that Eve was Adams daughter. She sprang from his rib, which no matter how you interpret is, makes her his blood relative, and it is even explicitly mentioned that they were of the same blood.

            • Drunken Nordmann
              Drunken Nordmann
              June 25, 2014 at 4:58 am | #

              And all of mankind descended from them, so – that’s why you don’t take anything in the bible literally. It’s a book full of stories we should learn lessons from, not the ultimate literal truth. Otherwise you’d have a lot of logic holes like “Why is incest immoral if we’re all descended from the same two people?”

              • Anarchy 101
                Anarchy 101
                June 25, 2014 at 9:31 am | #

                Obviously you’re not protestant then, as they believe as a whole, that the Bible is completely literal and should not be interpreted as parables or make believe stories.

                • Drunken Nordmann
                  Drunken Nordmann
                  June 25, 2014 at 9:38 am | #

                  No, I’m Roman Catholic – we interpret the bible.

                • Deanatay
                  Deanatay
                  June 25, 2014 at 12:00 pm | #

                  As I recall, the RC Church interprets the bible, then tells the RC’s what to believe.

                • abstract_reg
                  abstract_reg
                  June 25, 2014 at 1:48 pm | #

                  Either you are being sarcastic or you have some fundamental misunderstanding of how many different types of Protestantism there are. Many types interpret the bible as much or more than the Roman Catholics.

                • Kaoy
                  Kaoy
                  June 25, 2014 at 2:48 pm | #

                  Non-Southern Lutheranism, for instance, is basically Catholicism on anti-depressants and fewer Rites.

                • gwalla
                  gwalla
                  June 25, 2014 at 5:47 pm | #

                  Fundamentalists are a minority of Protestants.

                • Swerve
                  Swerve
                  June 25, 2014 at 9:44 pm | #

                  Guys, guys! Relax, pull up a bar stool and have some energon, on the house!

                  The truth is that Jews, and most Christian denominations, do not interpret the Bible literally. The difference is in how they interpret it, and those differences are sort of beyond the scope of the comments section of this webcomic.

                  The Christian sects who interpret the Bible literally don’t seem to interpret it literally in the same way. There is also a fringe Jewish sect, almost extinct, called the Karaites, who interpret the Torah literally. (There are maybe four hundred left on your planet, most living in either Israel or in the Crimean peninsula.)

                • Rutee
                  Rutee
                  June 26, 2014 at 1:11 am | #

                  Protestantism started in the 1800s?

                • gwalla
                  gwalla
                  June 26, 2014 at 2:08 pm | #

                  I thought the thing about the Karaites was that they rejected the idea of an oral tradition handed down from the time of Moses but not written down (the “oral Torah”) and therefore the Talmud.

    • Mo
      Mo
      June 25, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

      And It’s Slightly More Reasonable Yet Still Undeniably Kind Of “Hardcore”?

  10. ShaggyDonahugh
    ShaggyDonahugh
    June 25, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    Danny’s taking this pretty well. Personally, I’d take the punch to the face.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 25, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      This is a Willis universe. A punch to the face may damn well be foreplay.

    • dailybrad
      dailybrad
      June 25, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

      Who says she would even punch him? Possible Sal just doesn’t give a shit, given she didn’t warn him, ask him to leave, etc.

      • ShaggyDonahugh
        ShaggyDonahugh
        June 25, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

        The way Danny (or any other male exposed to so much…unf) would gawk? She’d probably punch them.

        • masterofbones
          masterofbones
          June 25, 2014 at 1:04 am | #

          Well normally I would say that only a mentally unstable person would attack someone for doing what they asked and getting an eyeful for their trouble, this is Sal. So yeah. Nevermind.

          On the other hand, she doesn’t seem to be particularly worried about modesty, so she would have no real reason to be upset.

          • tinfoil theory
            tinfoil theory
            June 25, 2014 at 1:59 am | #

            Sal might not care, but Joyce has a history of punching people for having “impure” thoughts.

            • Gangler
              Gangler
              June 25, 2014 at 4:47 am | #

              To be fair, that only seems to become an issue when she’s trying to enter into a totally chaste relationship with somebody that’ll end in 8-12 babies. She hasn’t for example attacked Walky/Dorothy for the thoughts they direct at eachother, or Roz for her active promotion of sex and sexuality. This very visit shows that she’s pretty comfortable with the idea that Billie is to some extent a sexual entity who has at times wanted to go to town on somebody.

          • Heavensrun
            Heavensrun
            June 25, 2014 at 5:53 pm | #

            Sal is pretty well centered, to be honest with you. She’s not really prone to violence, she’s laid back, she doesn’t have much respect for authority, but in general? There are -many- characters I would describe as more “Mentally unstable” than Sal.

  11. Speedball
    Speedball
    June 25, 2014 at 12:06 am | #

    Nono, she’s only got one glove. Michael Jackson style.

  12. HMRC4EVR
    HMRC4EVR
    June 25, 2014 at 12:08 am | #

    Ladies and gentlemen (sort that out amongst yourselves)….

    A preview of the next Slipshine compliments of Lord Pornmaster!

    You saw it here first! Danny and Sal!

    And you will never unsee it!!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 25, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

      I’ve been waiting 15 years…

      • LeslieBean4Shizzle
        LeslieBean4Shizzle
        June 25, 2014 at 1:37 am | #

        Are you male D.J.?

        … wow, third comment tonight. I clearly need to go sleep.

  13. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    June 25, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    You can’t look directly at them, Danny, you can’t handle the sexy.

    • ShaggyDonahugh
      ShaggyDonahugh
      June 25, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

      Either that or he’d Dan it up.

    • dailybrad
      dailybrad
      June 25, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      I dunno, he made out with Amber/Amazi-Girl. Lot of sexy there and he weathered the storm. Not to mention, has had the sexytimes with Dorothy. He also spurned Billie’s advances. He’s got some experience in this field.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        June 25, 2014 at 12:16 am | #

        It doesn’t matter. You’re never prepared to look directly into a Sal rack. It changes a man. And a woman. Joyce is probably traumatized in the best way.

        • dailybrad
          dailybrad
          June 25, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

          She does have quite the Sal crush, and it didn’t waver after the boob-ness, so I am inclined to agree with that. Between her, Dorothy(in a more platonic way), and her catching herself leering a little at Billie’s chest, she has a lot of feelings she has sort of tabled for now, to sort through at a later date.

          • Anarchy 101
            Anarchy 101
            June 25, 2014 at 11:01 am | #

            New slipshine: threesome of Billie, Sal, and Joyce, with Danny
            awkwardly in a corner.

  14. chris73
    chris73
    June 25, 2014 at 12:09 am | #

    Every time I start to feel sympathy for Joyce (which happens quite a bit I must admit) she pulls a stunt like this, if Sals ok with it then who is Joyce to interfere?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 25, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      I’m sure she means well. And knowing Danny he probably appreciates it.

      • chris73
        chris73
        June 25, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

        Even Danny would appreciate an eyeful of Sal

      • dailybrad
        dailybrad
        June 25, 2014 at 12:19 am | #

        Yeah, he seems to be put off by stuff with people he doesn’t really know yet. Bit old fashioned in that way.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        June 25, 2014 at 2:51 pm | #

        He is being smart, he can actually still see Sal, Joyce didn’t completely cover his eyes.

    • Gangler
      Gangler
      June 25, 2014 at 3:52 am | #

      Sal’s just waking up. She might not have even processed the fact that Billie just sent a boy over while she was topless yet.

      Though knowing Joyce I’m not entirely sure that’s the angle she’s approaching this from. Still, in this instance I’m thinking it’s better to err on the side of caution. Worst case scenario Danny has to live with not seeing Sal topless today, and I think he’ll manage.

  15. newllend
    newllend
    June 25, 2014 at 12:10 am | #

    I can just tell Joe’s off somewhere being filled with rage and jealousy.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      June 25, 2014 at 12:12 am | #

      Joe wanted press himself against Danny as they didn’t look at boobies together!

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 25, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

      Joe is probably off somewhere filling some ladies with rage and jealousy.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        June 25, 2014 at 2:51 pm | #

        Strange, I thought he was using semen.

  16. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    June 25, 2014 at 12:11 am | #

    It’s kind of weird how Sal is winning the badass poll even though she hasn’t actually done anything badass.

    I voted for Malaya.

    • dailybrad
      dailybrad
      June 25, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      Yeah, Sal is badass, but it is mostly informed at the moment. Sarah, Amber, and Ruth, we’ve seen in action, with Sarah taking her place at bat, and Amber and Ruth are shown to be great in a scrap.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      June 25, 2014 at 12:14 am | #

      So did I, she wasn’t too successful but she does have gumpton and besides, everyone else would be voting for Amber, Sal, Ruth or maybe Sarah anyhow.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      June 25, 2014 at 12:18 am | #

      I voted for sal cuz she wears cutoff gloves, jumps out of windows, owns a motorcycle and basically leads a gang of skaters/roller-derby girls.

      If that in and of itself isn’t badass then you must be crazy.

    • newllend
      newllend
      June 25, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

      That was for most Badass!? God Damnit I thought it was for Bad-ASSET and I voted Joyce what have I done!

      And Sal wins every poll she’s in this is now surprise.

      • Chronos
        Chronos
        June 25, 2014 at 1:02 am | #

        Joyce *did* stand up to her parents for Dorothy’s sake. That is badass in and of itself.

        Still voted for Amber, myself.

        • newllend
          newllend
          June 27, 2014 at 12:20 am | #

          That does not qualify for Badass she doesn’t count, if I new before I voted I would have went straight for amber/Amazi-girl

    • 3oranges
      3oranges
      June 25, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

      Her handling of Amazi-girl was pretty badass, though Marcie puts up a good show too.

    • Rabid Rabbit
      Rabid Rabbit
      June 25, 2014 at 12:49 am | #

      Sal is badass enough to simply mock Ruth, and, possibly even more importantly, to walk away. Malaya tries to be badass, but just ends up being clotheslined and then thrown halfway across a parking lot.

  17. Tacdud2
    Tacdud2
    June 25, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

    Joyce is just protecting what is hers.

  18. LadySol
    LadySol
    June 25, 2014 at 12:17 am | #

    Loving the name “wonderbread” for Danny

  19. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    June 25, 2014 at 12:21 am | #

    Impending fansmut alerts: 1) Sal nude and covered in snakes; 2) Sal AS a snake…

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      June 25, 2014 at 2:47 am | #

      Mental image was, instead of porn, Sal dressed as a member of Cobra.

      • Kyrros
        Kyrros
        June 25, 2014 at 7:08 am | #

        Uh… helloooooo…

        The Baroness :-p

      • Kaoy
        Kaoy
        June 25, 2014 at 2:50 pm | #

        Failing to see how that qualifies as “instead of porn”.

  20. etybolik
    etybolik
    June 25, 2014 at 12:22 am | #

    Dammit Joyce, stop hiding the goods from Dan.

    • ShaggyDonahugh
      ShaggyDonahugh
      June 25, 2014 at 12:25 am | #

      *In a bad italian accent*
      You got the goods? Yea? Well then lemme see em. Hey, wait, what’aya doin?!

  21. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    June 25, 2014 at 12:28 am | #

    So like Joyce. She does have her heart in the right place, and wonder if Danny is really all that upset. He is a bit shy around females he’s hot for, let alone naked ones he don’t really know. Especially Sal.

    Keeping in mind that a version of TheWord says that Lillith was the first woman, but apparently she had a mind of her own. So she got written off as a demon and Eve got created to be the ‘little woman’.

    First time a male tried that ‘born of my rib, so under me shit, I told him born of a rib puts me close to his heart, and the fastest way to a mans heart is thru his rib. Capesh?

    • masterofbones
      masterofbones
      June 25, 2014 at 1:08 am | #

      Well, I don’t know about Danny, but I would remove her hands from my eyes and tell her politely to get off of me.

      But I wouldn’t especially care about Sal boobs. If she is interested, I can interact with them later. If she isn’t, I can get a boob fix elsewhere. It might be different for a desperate sex starved guy though.

      • tinfoil theory
        tinfoil theory
        June 25, 2014 at 2:11 am | #

        Danny is in a relationship.

        • Nono
          Nono
          June 25, 2014 at 2:38 am | #

          Is he? It hasn’t been established where he stands with Amber/Amazi-Girl right now.

          Not that I think he’d look anyway even if he was single.

          • Wack'd
            Wack'd
            June 25, 2014 at 9:42 am | #

            He’s openly expressed a desire to focus on himself for a while rather than make further attempts at dating. So.

        • Tenn
          Tenn
          June 25, 2014 at 9:33 am | #

          I believe “It’s complicated” is a better approximation of his relationship status. Is there a “Schrödinger’s relationship” option?

          • Gigafreak
            Gigafreak
            June 25, 2014 at 10:39 am | #

            Until observed, he is simultaneously tapping and not tapping that

            …Oh gods, Schrodinger’s Law is “pics or it did AND didn’t happen”

            Dammit, science

            • Clif
              Clif
              July 3, 2014 at 11:38 am | #

              Science has always been pics or the equivalent or it didn’t happen.

  22. Jason
    Jason
    June 25, 2014 at 12:29 am | #

    Wow, Dan and his two alt-universe girlfriends AND his alt-universe stalker all in the same room together. Clearly the whole webcomic has been building up to this moment. I dig it.

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      June 25, 2014 at 2:53 am | #

      Hey look this stupid thing I photoshopped is relevant again

      • Drunken Nordmann
        Drunken Nordmann
        June 25, 2014 at 4:59 am | #

        Brilliant.

      • Kernanator
        Kernanator
        June 25, 2014 at 11:49 am | #

        Goddammit, Gigafreak, I was drinking something when I read that.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      June 25, 2014 at 8:42 am | #

      I suspect Danny gives off pheromones that only emotionally unstable women can detect.

      • Gigafreak
        Gigafreak
        June 25, 2014 at 9:41 am | #

        This WOULD explain how he befriended Ruth in the other universe.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        June 25, 2014 at 2:55 pm | #

        Of course, Danny is related to Basil Flint.

  23. Jason
    Jason
    June 25, 2014 at 12:32 am | #

    Also, apparently Sal was in the room the whole time Joyce and Bilie were talking? What time is it anyway? I thought Danny and Billy weren’t meeting until the evening, but it seems like he came over right after CompSci class? And do Billie and Joyce not have *any* classes today?

    (These questions and more will not be answered in the next episode of Soap–er, DOA.)

    • Nono
      Nono
      June 25, 2014 at 12:57 am | #

      Sal mentioned she was free after 2:30, and Joyce said she it just took her the afternoon to decorate her door. So presumably, it’s late afternoon/early evening.

  24. nothri
    nothri
    June 25, 2014 at 12:33 am | #

    Sal sleeps while wearing fig leaves? Sal is weird.

    • Animal
      Animal
      June 25, 2014 at 8:34 am | #

      Sal is weird? No, this is weird:

      http://youtu.be/kL5DDSglM_s

      • nothri
        nothri
        June 25, 2014 at 1:16 pm | #

        Its Japan. Of course its weird.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        June 25, 2014 at 2:56 pm | #

        WTF was that? Even for Japan, that was demented.

        • Animal
          Animal
          June 25, 2014 at 4:11 pm | #

          Having lived and worked there (Shiga Prefecture) I have to say, yes, even for Japan that’s weird.

        • gwalla
          gwalla
          June 25, 2014 at 5:54 pm | #

          Happa-tai is awesome.

          Is so easy! Happy go lucky. We are the wad of dough…

  25. Nick Piers
    Nick Piers
    June 25, 2014 at 12:40 am | #

    So Sal wears a leaf to bed?

    Wait, no, hang on.

  26. Nono
    Nono
    June 25, 2014 at 12:49 am | #

    Is it kind of weird that I’ve only just noticed Joyce is still wearing the shirt she loaned to Sal, except she just has a black sweater vest over it?

    It actually works surprisingly well for mixing pastels with blacks.

  27. motorfirebox
    motorfirebox
    June 25, 2014 at 12:53 am | #

    And yet she keeps the gloves on. Is it weird that I think that’s hot?

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      June 25, 2014 at 8:33 am | #

      She probably wears them to hide the scar.
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/down/

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      June 25, 2014 at 2:57 pm | #

      I would think her hands would be all sweaty and wrinkled. Probably wouldn’t smell nice either, she should at least take off the gloves when she is sleeping.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        June 25, 2014 at 5:28 pm | #

        Again, the scar. I imagine she is ashamed of it.

  28. C.
    C.
    June 25, 2014 at 1:12 am | #

    If the Garden of Eden had panties.

  29. Pyr05
    Pyr05
    June 25, 2014 at 1:40 am | #

    So, all the bits covered with leaves and stuff?

  30. Robert
    Robert
    June 25, 2014 at 2:02 am | #

    And how exactly would joyce know that off hand?

    • Nunc Pro Tunc
      Nunc Pro Tunc
      June 25, 2014 at 2:12 am | #

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/bunk/

      • Sir Robin
        Sir Robin
        June 25, 2014 at 6:02 am | #

        I remember this, Joyce almost died

    • Neonix
      Neonix
      June 25, 2014 at 2:15 am | #

      She woke Sal up once. When Sal sat up, Joyce was surprised to learn this herself.

  31. Orangey
    Orangey
    June 25, 2014 at 2:23 am | #

    I actually kind of think this is kind of nice of Joyce to do, it’s just showing general decency. I also think its adorably Joyce to shut her own eyes at the same time hahaa

  32. Bagge
    Bagge
    June 25, 2014 at 6:30 am | #

    Rebels don’t look at other rebels’ boobies (what’s Joyce speak for boobies anyway?).

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      June 25, 2014 at 8:40 am | #

      I think ‘boobies’ would be the most Bible-school-appropriate word. ‘Chest’ might also work.

      • Bagge
        Bagge
        June 25, 2014 at 12:28 pm | #

        Hurray! I speek Joyce.

  33. Animal
    Animal
    June 25, 2014 at 8:29 am | #

    Pics or it didn’t happen.

  34. hof1991
    hof1991
    June 25, 2014 at 8:33 am | #

    Sal seems to have sigmata, or is the red on the glove to remind us of the never closing wound in her hand? Or just texture to make the glove look more hand-shaped?

    • Wack'd
      Wack'd
      June 25, 2014 at 9:37 am | #

      The red is a pattern on the glove. It’s always been there. So.

  35. Tenn
    Tenn
    June 25, 2014 at 9:43 am | #

    Joyce: “Sal, you know I think you’re super cool and all that, but I’m suddenly getting an urge to fight you over this boy I’ve barely met before.”
    Sal: “Fight me? You want him, you can have him.”
    Joyce: “But I really feel like we should fight. And… I think I want a… jetpack?”

    • cmd1095
      cmd1095
      June 25, 2014 at 10:12 am | #

      I approve of this

      • Anarchy 101
        Anarchy 101
        June 25, 2014 at 11:03 am | #

        Same here, and then when they start fighting drunk Billie takes Danny into bathroom and locks the door

    • Gigafreak
      Gigafreak
      June 25, 2014 at 10:35 am | #

      The power booster rod is an allegory for Dan’s woody

      • Alex
        Alex
        June 25, 2014 at 12:40 pm | #

        Then what does he call his Buzz Lightyear?

      • Swerve
        Swerve
        June 25, 2014 at 12:58 pm | #

        The Mechanic steals it from Danny, and Grimlock orders Blaster and Goldbugs to get it back?

        • Swerve
          Swerve
          June 25, 2014 at 1:00 pm | #

          Goldbug. Lousy Decepticorrect!

  36. OmegaDez
    OmegaDez
    June 25, 2014 at 10:52 am | #

    I was about to say that Joyce was indeed creepy.

  37. Keith the verbos and boring
    Keith the verbos and boring
    June 25, 2014 at 10:57 am | #

    I don’t get it…doesn’t everyone sleep in the sartorial manner of the mythical garden of eden? Then you’ve those who sleep naked and those who sleep nude. As for me I sleep and don’t much worry if I’m clothed.

    • Kernanator
      Kernanator
      June 25, 2014 at 11:51 am | #

      I sleep with underwear on, but last time I said that in the comments, someone said that I was weird for doing it.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        June 25, 2014 at 11:52 am | #

        You’re not.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        June 25, 2014 at 11:52 am | #

        I mean, I’m sure you’re weird for other reasons, but not for that one.

  38. Dani Kelley
    Dani Kelley
    June 25, 2014 at 11:58 am | #

    WHO. WEARS. GLOVES. TO. SLEEP.

    Also: Joyce & Danny, adorable interaction.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      June 25, 2014 at 5:49 pm | #

      People with disfiguring scars on their hands representing a traumatic event inspired by years of parental bias.

      • The Candyman
        The Candyman
        June 25, 2014 at 9:44 pm | #

        Which Sal doesn’t even seem to remember, so..

  39. Aaron Bourque
    Aaron Bourque
    June 25, 2014 at 1:05 pm | #

    Garden of Eden style, but with gloves?

  40. Sambo
    Sambo
    June 25, 2014 at 1:13 pm | #

    Doesn’t she wear underwear, too?

  41. Sean
    Sean
    June 25, 2014 at 3:20 pm | #

    Sal/Danny, Ethan/Danny… I’m starting to ship the boy with anyone except Amber. =/

  42. Grant14235
    Grant14235
    June 25, 2014 at 5:18 pm | #

    Man, Amber can’t even beat Sal in the polls…

    • John
      John
      June 25, 2014 at 6:36 pm | #

      I’m not really sure why not. I mean, sure, Sal smokes, drinks, and rides a motorcycle, but Amber wall-flipped over Dorothy and Walky, parkoured through a tree onto a building, then leaped off it and slid down a power line onto the top of a moving truck. And then proceeded on to beat a fully-grown man senseless with her bare hands. And that was just Sunday.

      • Heavensrun
        Heavensrun
        June 25, 2014 at 9:55 pm | #

        Yeah, then Amber had an emotional freakout, accosted a (relatively) innocent person and her friends over an ancient vendetta, got totally owned in the encounter by, y’know, Sal, who had her pegged from moment one. Then she proceeded to spend the rest of the night staring at the ceiling waiting for the police to come take her away.

        Don’t get me wrong, Amber is a badass, but she’s also got a lot of pretty down-to-earth qualities that balance that out.

  43. das-g
    das-g
    June 25, 2014 at 7:18 pm | #

    Sleeping goes to induce psl.

  44. Lord Geovanni
    Lord Geovanni
    June 25, 2014 at 11:19 pm | #

    GoE style. id pry joyce’s hands off of my eyes and spout so bible ish about how being embarrassed about how you look and hideing under clothes wasnt what god intended but actually stems from the sin of eating the apple. and see if i can work joyce into giving me a show later too

  45. Shadow Eagle
    Shadow Eagle
    June 26, 2014 at 11:02 am | #

    HEY where’s the next panel that’s from Joyce’s POV…. dang it!!!! i think we need a special panel… somewhere.

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