Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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no no joyce not from the tips, you'll osaka 'em
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July 11, 2026

Sushi

by David M Willis on March 12, 2015 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - Three's a Crowd
└ Tags: becky, dorothy, joyce, walky

Discussion (267) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    March 12, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    Here’s how to do it, Joyce:

    Step 1: Get a rubber band
    Step 2: Roll up your chopstick wrapper–

    *gets lynched by chopstick purists*

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      March 12, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      Or just use fingers…

      • JustCheetoDust
        JustCheetoDust
        March 12, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

        And look like you know what you’re doing? Never!

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          March 12, 2015 at 12:28 am | #

          Watch the Japanese in Japan eat sushi, you will notice the lack of chopsticks.

          • JustCheetoDust
            JustCheetoDust
            March 12, 2015 at 12:42 am | #

            http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/483/894/463.jpg

          • snogglethorpe
            snogglethorpe
            March 12, 2015 at 4:34 pm | #

            Er, no you won’t, as many many Japanese do indeed eat sushi with chopsticks… That doesn’t mean all do, or that you have to, of course.

      • Robbzilla
        Robbzilla
        March 12, 2015 at 8:06 am | #

        THIS.

        You can also authentically eat Thai food with a fork and spoon. I believe most Thai people use the fork to wrangle the food into the spoon, and eat it from the spoon, but don’t get me lying. Chopsticks are totally optional at a Thai restaurant. I always use fork & Spoon there, and chopsticks in Korean, Chinese, and Vietnamese joints. Man… I think I’ll get either Korean or Vietnamese for lunch today after thinking about them… 😀

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        March 12, 2015 at 9:22 am | #

        This is JOYCE, the girl who is so neat-freakish that she separates her tacos before eating them. What makes you think she’ll actually touch food with her fingers??

      • John Merklinghaus
        John Merklinghaus
        March 12, 2015 at 11:25 am | #

        Or use a single chopstick to stab the sushi.

        • Tacos
          Tacos
          March 12, 2015 at 7:10 pm | #

          Apparently it’s considered rude to stab food with your chopsticks.

    • Viktoria
      Viktoria
      March 12, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

      Step 1: Take a chopstick
      Step 2: Break the end so you have a sharp point
      Step 3: Spear the food as you would with a fork

      Of course, my 4-year old cousin can eat anything with chopsticks, so maybe I’m just spiteful.

      • LeslieBean4Shizzle
        LeslieBean4Shizzle
        March 12, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

        The trick that I found worked was to only try to move one of them. Hold one like you would pencil, and secure the other in a solid, unmoving grip. Then the “pencil-hold” one does all the moving and is no harder than, say, drawing.

        • LeslieBean4Shizzle
          LeslieBean4Shizzle
          March 12, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

          (Drawing as in making graphite appear on paper, not drawing well, mind.)

        • begbert2
          begbert2
          March 12, 2015 at 3:33 am | #

          Despite having a fair bit of experience holding pencils and drawing, I’ve yet to get that method to work for me either. Besides not finding any good way to hold chopstick 2 in a “solid, unmoving grip” with my back three fingers, I also discovered that I was completely unable to maneuver the end of chopstick 1 relative to chopstick 2 (perhaps due to depth perception issues), and when I tried to pinch the chopsticks together there was no force behind it, because that’s not something you do with a pencil. Every effort resulted in the chopsticks twisting past one another and popping out of my grip, and I have never, ever picked anything up with chopsticks.

          tl;dr: Yeah, as IF it’s that easy.

          • Kryss LaBryn
            Kryss LaBryn
            March 12, 2015 at 8:05 am | #

            The bottom one goes right in the crook of your thumb, wedged against the webbing, and held in place against the side of your ring finger at the end (curl the finger in slightly), and the side of your thumb pressing it against the knuckle of your index finger and the end of your ring finger. It doesn’t move.

            The top one rests against the side of the first segment of your index finger up from the knuckle, with the end held between the tips of your thumb, index, and middle fingers. It moves up and down by pulling those fingertips (still gripping the chopstick firmly) back towards the palm, or pushing them out away from your hand, pivoting against the side of your index finger.

            If the bottom one isn’t staying in place then use your middle finger to help hold it in place, and just use your thumb and index finger on the top one.

            You will probably find it easier to use the disposable bamboo ones in the beginning; the washable lacquered ones are a bit slick; the disposable ones have more grip, both on the food and your fingers. Take a (disposable) pair home to practice with. 🙂

            • Cybersnark
              Cybersnark
              March 12, 2015 at 10:38 am | #

              See, I don’t use my ring finger at all:

              Bottom one is held between the tip of my middle finger and the base of my thumb (and rests against the side of my hand near my index finger).

              Top one is held between the tips of my index finger and thumb (and rests against my index finger).

              (I’ve found a trick is to roll my wrist a bit as I pick things up –basically using the chopsticks as a hook rather than relying on gripping force.)

          • El Chupacabre
            El Chupacabre
            March 12, 2015 at 3:11 pm | #

            turn your hand sideways such that the thumb is pointing up and the rest of your fingers are pointing towards your body. lift your pointer finger slightly, and curve the rest of your fingers slightly in. Place one chopstick so one end rests on your middle finger, and the middle of the chopstick rests on the fleshy pad between your thumb and pointer finger. hold the other chopstick between the tips of your thumb and pointer finger, which should cause your thumb to push down on the first chopstick, immobilizing it.

        • David M Willis
          David M Willis
          March 12, 2015 at 4:04 am | #

          I’ve always held a pencil wrong, so that advice has never worked on me.

          • Heavensrun
            Heavensrun
            March 12, 2015 at 5:53 am | #

            +1

          • Yet_One_More_Idiot
            Yet_One_More_Idiot
            March 12, 2015 at 6:07 am | #

            People have told me that I’ve never been able to hold a pencil properly either, apparently I grip it too tightly at the wrong angle and too close to the pointy end. xD

            I would use one chopstick like a spear. Or build a fork out of several chopsticks and rubber bands. 😛 Or just use my fingers.

            Ahh, truth be told I’d probably avoid the whole issue in the first place by going to Frankie & Benny’s instead. 😀

            • overdosed
              overdosed
              March 12, 2015 at 7:10 am | #

              i could never hold a pencil right but some how the meathod mentioned beforehand works all the time with me

              • das-g
                das-g
                March 12, 2015 at 6:34 pm | #

                Same for me. I’ve always held pencils and pens “wrong”, which means I can’t write long texts with them without getting some cramp-like feeling in my hand. Thus I prefer to write on keyboards (computer or typewriter). (Making short notes manually or drawing is fine, though.) Of course, I can hold the pencil right, just like I can hold chopsticks right-ish, but due to lack of practice, I cannot write when holding it like that.

                Eating with chopsticks, on the other hand, works just fine for me. (Might need a little practice when I haven’t used chopsticks for some while, but I’ll quickly get the hang of it again.)

                • Rycan
                  Rycan
                  March 12, 2015 at 9:46 pm | #

                  Yeah, that seems to be the main downside. Also why I absolutely loathed tests in college that required a lot of writing.

          • Deanatay
            Deanatay
            March 12, 2015 at 9:25 am | #

            AHA! Holding the pencil wrong! That must be the secret to your COMIC GENIUS! I’ll tell THE WORLD!!

          • Rosie
            Rosie
            March 12, 2015 at 12:04 pm | #

            No complaints here.

          • Tacos
            Tacos
            March 12, 2015 at 7:03 pm | #

            Same here.

      • Disloyal Subject
        Disloyal Subject
        March 12, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

        It should be sharp enough anyway. It doesn’t take that fine a taper to skewer things.

      • Bill
        Bill
        March 12, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

        Hey — I called it yesterday.

      • Orbit Junkie
        Orbit Junkie
        March 12, 2015 at 12:51 am | #

        They’re sharp enough already, breaking them is only going to season your sushi with splinters.

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          March 12, 2015 at 6:12 am | #

          You’re on a roll with the alliteration. Yesterday and today.

          • Deanatay
            Deanatay
            March 12, 2015 at 9:26 am | #

            ‘On a roll’. You meant that as a sushi pun, right?

            • ninja_jesus
              ninja_jesus
              March 12, 2015 at 12:30 pm | #

              Suuuure, let’s go with that.

              • Orbit Junkie
                Orbit Junkie
                March 12, 2015 at 1:32 pm | #

                ^ My life in a nutshell.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        March 12, 2015 at 7:09 am | #

        Pretty sure stabbing your food with the chopsticks is very rude.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        March 12, 2015 at 2:59 pm | #

        My Mom made me learn how to eat with chopsticks at age 5 so we could eat with the nice Japanese family down the block when we lived in on the North Shore of Oahu back in the ’60s. I can still eat that way and most of the food makes it to my mouth.

    • Kris
      Kris
      March 12, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      Or you know use a fork because you’re in America. Seriously if you can’t use them you can’t use them.

      • Mr. Random
        Mr. Random
        March 12, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

        I used to be like her.
        Then I practiced at every restaurant I could, stealing a few in my pocket so I could keep practicing. Then I took an arrow in the knee. And I could do it. Because I practiced.

        • Doctor_Who
          Doctor_Who
          March 12, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

          Shame you don’t have an arrow in both knees. Then you could use them as chopsticks by opening and closing your legs.

          • JustCheetoDust
            JustCheetoDust
            March 12, 2015 at 12:40 am | #

            That’s easier said than done.

        • otusasio451
          otusasio451
          March 12, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

          You…you practiced taking an arrow to the knee?

          • CptNerd
            CptNerd
            March 12, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

            If you want to get good at it…

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          March 12, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

          If you want to use chopsticks but really suck at using them, just use tong chopsticks.

          • MeghanTheWorldEater
            MeghanTheWorldEater
            March 12, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

            And who’s the moron that failed to name these tongsticks?

        • Marisa Mockery
          Marisa Mockery
          March 12, 2015 at 12:25 am | #

          Does that mean you married chopsticks?

      • Scoops
        Scoops
        March 12, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

        Except sushi is not easy to eat with a fork.

        • Barf Ninjason
          Barf Ninjason
          March 12, 2015 at 2:03 am | #

          Everything is easy to eat with a fork.

          • Anonymous
            Anonymous
            March 12, 2015 at 2:47 am | #

            This is true.

          • Sailor_Arashi
            Sailor_Arashi
            March 12, 2015 at 2:53 pm | #

            Soup?

      • Time Sage
        Time Sage
        March 12, 2015 at 2:04 am | #

        Or you don’t use silverware at all cause it’s a finger food >.<

        • ninja_jesus
          ninja_jesus
          March 12, 2015 at 6:10 am | #

          But what if you wanted to dip your sushi into shoyu? I’d slap the hell out of the hand who tries to put their fingers into my sauces. >:(

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            March 12, 2015 at 7:10 am | #

            But what if it was THIER sauces?

          • Robbzilla
            Robbzilla
            March 12, 2015 at 8:07 am | #

            Most Sushi places have little bowls available for that. I personally don’t just much Soy sauce, so I just smear a dab of wasabi directly on my roll and munch. Cutting out the middle man and all that.

          • Kryss LaBryn
            Kryss LaBryn
            March 12, 2015 at 8:08 am | #

            You don’t put your fingers in, just the side/end of the sushi.

            I mean, people share chip dip without putting their fingers in or getting grossed out by the communal sauce, right? Same manners apply: No fingers; no double-dipping.

          • Sailor_Arashi
            Sailor_Arashi
            March 12, 2015 at 2:55 pm | #

            Are you entirely submerging your sushi in the shoyu?

            Would you perhaps just like a glass of shoyu to drink then?

            • ninja_jesus
              ninja_jesus
              March 12, 2015 at 11:10 pm | #

              I’m not that gross. 😛 But I always use chopsticks to dip my sushi/sashimi in any sauce. It’s a cleanliness thing.

    • otusasio451
      otusasio451
      March 12, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      See, I disagree. I feel that it’s more complicated than that.

      Step 1: Nestle the topstick at the joint of your index finger and thumb.
      Step 2: Grip the bottom stick with the tips of those fingers.
      Step 3: Practice opening and closing.
      Step 4: Attempt to grip food.
      Step 5: OK, you lost it that time, but try again. You’ll get it!
      Step 6: Now, now, don’t get frustrated. Just try not to drop the sticks this time.
      Step 7: How did that sushi end up on the ceiling? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
      Step 8: Continue eating with your fork.

      See? Simple! Works for me every time.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        March 12, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

        http://i.imgur.com/ERjSdJm.jpg

        • Doctor_Lantern
          Doctor_Lantern
          March 12, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

          Internet points for you.

    • Kennerly
      Kennerly
      March 12, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

      Like a Japanese friend once told me, “If you’re still hungry at the end of the meal, you’re doing it wrong.”

      • Barf Ninjason
        Barf Ninjason
        March 12, 2015 at 2:06 am | #

        Once I ate at this sushi place with a bunch of friends, and it was good, but also kinda expensive so we didn’t get a whole bunch of food; anyway, afterwards, me and the other guy amongst us, we was all, “Man, fuck this” and then we went and got slices of pizza so we could actually stop being hungry.

        • Robbzilla
          Robbzilla
          March 12, 2015 at 8:10 am | #

          Yeah, been there, done that. I can eat $30 worth of sushi and still be hungry. I’m lucky to live in a town big enough to have a couple of buffets that make it worth my while. (Google Tokyo one in Dallas to get my drift). I’m talking totally acceptable sushi and sashimi that happens to be on a buffet, not some crappy Chinese buffet with a couple of dry tasteless rolls. (there are some good Chinese buffets, but I’ve never been to one that had good rolls. The Korean places do a pretty good job of them, but we don’t have any Korean buffets that I know of)

          • Anracli
            Anracli
            March 12, 2015 at 9:35 am | #

            I don’t really get people who say they aren’t satisfied after eating sushi. I’m not sure if I’m a light eater, but after two or two and a half rolls, I am done eating. I don’t eat until I feel like I’m going to explode, and I usually tend towards simpler rolls, so it’s not like I’m eating giant fried rolls.

            I’m even satisfied sometimes after one and a half rolls, especially if I’m splitting edamame with my SO.

            • Jen Aside
              Jen Aside
              March 12, 2015 at 10:34 pm | #

              because in places like MIDWEST AMERICA, it’s like $5/plate for decent kaiten sushi, whereas if you get it in Japan, the same is only 100-yen/plate (~$.82) …like, if you ask me where I want to eat for my birthday, it’ll be Wasabi in Tysons Corner, and we’ll have an $80 tab at the end =p

              I guess you could get a Costco platter for $30, but then you’d have to kill yourself because it tastes like ass

          • Opus the Poet
            Opus the Poet
            March 12, 2015 at 4:08 pm | #

            There used to be a good Korean place over at Walnut and Greenville (not the one at Walnut Hill and Greenville) but I haven’t been by there lately (taking a different bus line to that part of town).

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      March 12, 2015 at 2:53 am | #

      Step 3: Take your chopsticks
      Step 4: Make a chopstick gun
      Step 5: Use chopstick gun to take out the guard and make your escape!

      Whaddya mean, she ain’t McGyver?

      • Screwball
        Screwball
        March 12, 2015 at 7:44 pm | #

        *Uses elastic band to make bow with chopstick arrows…*

    • ATN
      ATN
      March 12, 2015 at 5:03 am | #

      Or you could use this thing called fork

      • MindLink
        MindLink
        March 12, 2015 at 8:40 am | #

        How do you eat sushi with a fork ? I’ve tried, it’s impossible! The pieces are too large to balance on the fork, and skewering them results in a sushi-explosion.

    • Clare
      Clare
      March 12, 2015 at 9:28 am | #

      This entire thread reminds me of that scene from my favorite year with the dim sum
      “do exactly as i do” *throws chopsticks out the window, grabs a fork* “dim sum are too hard to eat with chopsticks, don’t make yourself crazy”

    • Screwball
      Screwball
      March 12, 2015 at 7:47 pm | #

      I can’t get those things to work for me, but Daniel the Human isn’t too bad with them. He even took a pic of how he holds them. Only drops things every now & again… 😛

  2. otusasio451
    otusasio451
    March 12, 2015 at 12:01 am | #

    Becky: Oh, I know how you can make me happy…

    • Halloween Jack
      Halloween Jack
      March 12, 2015 at 12:49 am | #

      “When I said ‘Man, I’d really like to get my mouth on some sushi soon’, I meant… how do I put this?”

  3. shadow
    shadow
    March 12, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    my god joyce just use a fork….

    • Time Sage
      Time Sage
      March 12, 2015 at 2:04 am | #

      Blasphemy, it’s fingers or nothing!

      • Barf Ninjason
        Barf Ninjason
        March 12, 2015 at 2:08 am | #

        Let’s all squeeze our eyes shut tight and hope real hard that Joyce starts using her fingers…

      • shadow
        shadow
        March 12, 2015 at 2:30 pm | #

        i am seriously confused… what’s wrong with how i eat sushi? (and even if there somehow is, i fail to see how affects anyone negatively, so who cares?)

    • MindLink
      MindLink
      March 12, 2015 at 8:41 am | #

      Yeah, ’cause that’s sooooo much easier… (there’s a reason you get chopsticks with sushi, and it’s not because “it’s cultural”)

      • shadow
        shadow
        March 12, 2015 at 2:29 pm | #

        um, yeah. it is. you poke the rice part, as the nori part is a curved surface. not getting the point here sorry…

        • MindLink
          MindLink
          March 18, 2015 at 2:46 pm | #

          Every time I’ve tried that, the whole thing just falls apart….

  4. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    March 12, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Took me a while to master these, but now I’m a pro.

    And regarding the alt-text, I’m totally in favor of making Osaka a verb.

    • MeghanTheWorldEater
      MeghanTheWorldEater
      March 12, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

      Any day we find a way to turn a noun into a verb is a good day

      • Jen Aside
        Jen Aside
        March 12, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

        I made up a whole language just so all nouns could be verbs, even names

        “Jen Aside-ing” is “the state of being Jen Aside”

        • otusasio451
          otusasio451
          March 12, 2015 at 12:10 am | #

          Doesn’t really work with numbered usernames that well. “otusasio451-ing.” Just…just doesn’t feel right.

        • MeghanTheWorldEater
          MeghanTheWorldEater
          March 12, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

          Oh! I thought that was being first.

          • TheGrammarLegionary
            TheGrammarLegionary
            December 28, 2015 at 4:42 pm | #

            I thought it was slaughtering an entire demographic.

        • Wizard
          Wizard
          March 12, 2015 at 12:45 am | #

          And “Willising” is the fine art of causing people everywhere to cry, as one, “Damn you!”

          • The Master
            The Master
            March 12, 2015 at 12:08 pm | #

            I love it when I manage that. 😀

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          March 12, 2015 at 4:56 pm | #

          This makes me Jen Aside-al.

      • Leorale
        Leorale
        March 12, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

        Verbing weirds language.

        • Luke
          Luke
          March 12, 2015 at 1:11 am | #

          The technical term is “languagification”.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        March 12, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

        Surely you mean “Any day we find a way to verb a noun…”.

        I just verbed “verb”. Seven minutes after midnight, and already today rocks.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      March 12, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      I think Osaka as a verb might involve really daydreamy trains of thought that feature only the vaguest semblance of linear logic.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        March 12, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

        Exactly. I spend like 40% of the day doing that anyway, so having a word for it would be convenient.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      March 12, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

      To Osaka (VERB)
      To space out while you watch your eye-bubbles float by.

      • Sailor_Arashi
        Sailor_Arashi
        March 12, 2015 at 6:06 am | #

        To Osaka (VERB)
        To wake up someone by standing ominously in the doorway hold a large knife.

        https://youtu.be/37mPoKQijj8?t=49s

    • Azhrei Vep
      Azhrei Vep
      March 12, 2015 at 2:34 am | #

      I am entirely confused by the meaning of the alt-text. Is there something special about the people of Osaka and how they eat their sushi?

      • Swissaboo
        Swissaboo
        March 12, 2015 at 2:45 am | #

        My understanding is that Osaka is basically considered the new jersey of japan. So in the mind of Japan, evertyhing about the way Osakans do EVERYTHING is “special.”

        • Historyman68
          Historyman68
          March 12, 2015 at 6:53 am | #

          Which I think is why Naru on Sailor Moon has a really think New Yawk accent. Which I learned from Sailor Business, I think.

          • Random832
            Random832
            March 12, 2015 at 9:47 am | #

            Though most other dubs give people from there a southern or Texas accent.

      • Heavensrun
        Heavensrun
        March 12, 2015 at 5:52 am | #

        “Osaka” is the nickname of a character on Azumanga Daioh, so called because she speaks with a kansai dialect. It’s a bit like nicknaming somebody Tex because they have a southern drawl.

      • Sailor_Arashi
        Sailor_Arashi
        March 12, 2015 at 6:03 am | #

        It’s referring to how she’s breaking them apart in panel 2, actually.

        It’s a reference to this character and the way she breaks chopsticks from the middle (which often breaks them wrong) instead of from the tips like you’re supposed to:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PbPdjWlB9k

        • Azhrei Vep
          Azhrei Vep
          March 13, 2015 at 7:25 am | #

          Aaaah, thank you. I never could get more than an episode or two into that … thing.

          Welp, I guess that’s half the battle taken care of.

    • Screwball
      Screwball
      March 12, 2015 at 7:52 pm | #

      Daniel the Human read this strip too, & now he keep saying “OSAKA’S JUSTICE WILL NEVER DIE!!”. Apparently it’s something from the Anime Burst Angel. He does like his robots. Less likely to kick me out then… 😛

  5. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    March 12, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Just stab the sushi, Joyce. Sheesh.

    • Tacos
      Tacos
      March 12, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      She could just use her hands I think. Sushi was originally something you ate with your hands anyways if I recall correctly.

      • Kris
        Kris
        March 12, 2015 at 12:13 am | #

        When did our culture create this need for having to use proper utensils anyway. Was it to keep us one step ahead of the animals? I thought that was why we had large brains and opposable thumbs.

        • Orbit Junkie
          Orbit Junkie
          March 12, 2015 at 1:28 am | #

          But, we can improve on nature. We have the technology.

        • Rycan
          Rycan
          March 12, 2015 at 2:36 am | #

          Sometimes, they’re necessary. For instance, try eating crab without the proper utensils, then try eating it with (I mean picking the meat out of the legs and everything). But, when it comes to which side of the plate the fork goes on, I’m totally with you.

        • No Name
          No Name
          March 12, 2015 at 3:25 am | #

          No, it’s to keep us one step ahead of the barbarian riff-raff, who also have opposable thumbs and large brains.

        • Willoughby Chase
          Willoughby Chase
          March 12, 2015 at 5:19 am | #

          soup

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            March 12, 2015 at 7:07 am | #

            Much easier to eat without utensils.

            • StClair
              StClair
              March 12, 2015 at 7:43 pm | #

              Pick up the bowl, shlurp.

        • wwwhhattt
          wwwhhattt
          March 12, 2015 at 6:30 am | #

          I remember reading that forks were first widely used by the Venetian nobility, and were derided as effeminate by the French (and probably the rest of Europe) for quite a while before they became common.

        • torstu
          torstu
          March 12, 2015 at 3:43 pm | #

          as my dad likes to say, “what separates us from animals? tools.”

          • Tacos
            Tacos
            March 12, 2015 at 7:07 pm | #

            Then someone should tell that to chimps and ravens and the remaining assortment of tool-using anumals ~_~

            • Tacos
              Tacos
              March 12, 2015 at 7:08 pm | #

              *animals

        • Ari
          Ari
          March 12, 2015 at 7:23 pm | #

          …Because eating things with your hands is gross? Food gets on your hand, germs get on your food. Speaking of which, does anyone know of a way to eat chips with utensils?

          • neeks
            neeks
            March 13, 2015 at 2:57 am | #

            Carefully balanced on a spoon/fork? Chopsticks could work, as well.

      • Quinctia
        Quinctia
        March 12, 2015 at 2:31 am | #

        Yeah, it’s fine to eat sushi with your fingers. I tend to use chopsticks with rolls that have the rice on the outside, just because I can more cleanly get it into a bit of soy sauce and into my mouth that way.

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      March 12, 2015 at 12:18 am | #

      So many freaking ways around this.

      • Barf Ninjason
        Barf Ninjason
        March 12, 2015 at 2:09 am | #

        I vote she just bites it directly off the plate.

  6. Kris
    Kris
    March 12, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    Sushi: Emissary of the afterlife!

    • Cybersnark
      Cybersnark
      March 12, 2015 at 10:44 am | #

      Sushinigami!

  7. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    March 12, 2015 at 12:02 am | #

    And once they find out that fugu was used in the making of this sushi, Walky will get his wish…

    • Kris
      Kris
      March 12, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      He’ll starve before he manages to down a piece.

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      March 12, 2015 at 2:42 am | #

      Death by paralysis; being riveted in place while you suffocate. Poor Walky. McAwesome’s just had to give Drunk Mike kitchen duty, didn’t they?

    • Robbzilla
      Robbzilla
      March 12, 2015 at 8:12 am | #

      It’d be funny as hell if some waiter condescendingly told them that they should use their fingers, and walked away muttering about gaijin…

  8. TSB
    TSB
    March 12, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    I hope this dinner gets even more awkward. It’s already so beautiful.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      March 12, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

      Next strip: Becky glances to her left and notices that right next to her is….

  9. Leorale
    Leorale
    March 12, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    It’s okay, Joyce, Alton Brown says they’re the original finger food.

  10. Kei
    Kei
    March 12, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    Just grab it with your hands, nobody except assholes care.

    • Disloyal Subject
      Disloyal Subject
      March 12, 2015 at 12:08 am | #

      Funny, that’s what I always say about pancakes.

      • LegalSeagull
        LegalSeagull
        March 12, 2015 at 1:43 pm | #

        I’ve been saying the same thing about soup for years.

    • newllend(henryvolt)
      newllend(henryvolt)
      March 12, 2015 at 12:16 am | #

      Ya, what asshole is going to walk up to you and be like,” excuse but the way you are eating is not the proper way to eat said food please leave,” you know beside that one fancy dick waiter from that one Regular show ep.

      • JustCheetoDust
        JustCheetoDust
        March 12, 2015 at 12:44 am | #

        Or the incredibly posh people who are still unaccountably waiters.

      • Time Sage
        Time Sage
        March 12, 2015 at 4:54 am | #

        *Walks up to joyce*

        Excuse me miss, you are eating that food wrong. Chopsticks are not for that type of sushi, please, use your hands.

    • Time Sage
      Time Sage
      March 12, 2015 at 2:06 am | #

      Actully if the chef is japanese, they’ll probably be happy you used your fingers instead of being upset.

  11. Eric
    Eric
    March 12, 2015 at 12:03 am | #

    I am sometimes unnerved by the life experience and personality similarities (like being an exceptionally picky eater) between Joyce and my fundie ex, because Joyce is supposed to be autobiographical. These strips are the weirdest. I’m sure there’s a German word for the feeling.

    • grantimusmaximus
      grantimusmaximus
      March 12, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

      Nah, this seems more like a melancholic french kind of feeling.

      • feli
        feli
        March 12, 2015 at 6:27 am | #

        I’m with you here 😀
        I’m German and the only thing that comes to my mind is the french De-ja-vu thing. But I could invent something … when my headache’s gone ^^

    • Halloween Jack
      Halloween Jack
      March 12, 2015 at 12:51 am | #

      Doppelgangerangst?

      • quix
        quix
        March 12, 2015 at 1:00 am | #

        Dopplegangst

    • Lawzlo
      Lawzlo
      March 12, 2015 at 12:56 am | #

      Just describe the feeling to a German. (S)he’ll listen patiently, then invent a sixteen letter long word for it. Within a year it’ll be in German dictionaries.

  12. Twinkle Toes the Berserker
    Twinkle Toes the Berserker
    March 12, 2015 at 12:04 am | #

    You know, you CAN eat sushi with your hands. In fact, that’s the only way it used to be eaten.

  13. Urukak
    Urukak
    March 12, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

    Dorothy asks the hard questions.

  14. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    March 12, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    I can never work chopsticks because I have the manual dexterity of a crappy robot.

    • Orbit Junkie
      Orbit Junkie
      March 12, 2015 at 1:33 am | #

      Your gravatar looks very disappointed about this fact.

      Wait, is Joyce wearing Roz’s condom-clad dildo-hat? No wonder she’s so upset.

    • Screwball
      Screwball
      March 12, 2015 at 7:58 pm | #

      I can’t use them either. I’m not a crappy robot tho, I’m a Cybertronian. I’m an awesome sentient alien robot… 😛

  15. Bagge
    Bagge
    March 12, 2015 at 12:06 am | #

    If you are getting tired of babysitting these three, Dorothy, just imagine how fun it will be with the entire country.

    • DuckDuckMoose
      DuckDuckMoose
      March 12, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

      “If half of us don’t even like this bill, how come it’s here?”

      • airyu
        airyu
        March 12, 2015 at 9:29 am | #

        Spoken like a true future president

      • Rycan
        Rycan
        March 12, 2015 at 9:52 pm | #

        You know why. The Other Half wants that bill, and they will pass it come hell or high water, so you’d better give them both if you want to stop them.

  16. Cheryl
    Cheryl
    March 12, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    lmao

  17. grantimusmaximus
    grantimusmaximus
    March 12, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    I JUST WANNA HUG EVERYONE AND TELL THEM IT’S GONNA BE OKAY. Except for Walky. He can hug himself.

    • Orbit Junkie
      Orbit Junkie
      March 12, 2015 at 1:37 am | #

      I’m going to say that from now on. “Oh yeah? Well go HUG YOURSELF! I’m out.”

      • Cybersnark
        Cybersnark
        March 12, 2015 at 10:47 am | #

        You should come to the Allspark and meet the swear filter.

  18. Catullus
    Catullus
    March 12, 2015 at 12:07 am | #

    The first time Joyce swears is going to be about chopsticks, isn’t it.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      March 12, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

      I’m guessing Mario Cart, if Sal leave it for long enough to let her play.

    • Rabid Rabbit
      Rabid Rabbit
      March 12, 2015 at 12:37 am | #

      That or Becky not allowing her to demonstrating caring in the correct way.

  19. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    March 12, 2015 at 12:09 am | #

    Well Joyce, if you want to make Becky happy…

  20. newllend(henryvolt)
    newllend(henryvolt)
    March 12, 2015 at 12:11 am | #

    Any MORE stupid Questions ?

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      March 12, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

      Is soup a finger food? 😛

      • newllend(henryvolt)
        newllend(henryvolt)
        March 12, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

        ….Actually, where I’m from it is.

        • Orbit Junkie
          Orbit Junkie
          March 12, 2015 at 1:38 am | #

          Where are you from, and can I join you there?

        • Heavensrun
          Heavensrun
          March 12, 2015 at 5:56 am | #

          I…(puzzled expression)…but….how?

          • timemonkey
            timemonkey
            March 12, 2015 at 7:02 am | #

            You pick up the bowl with your hands and drink from it.

            • Screwball
              Screwball
              March 12, 2015 at 8:26 pm | #

              LOL well played…

          • Deanatay
            Deanatay
            March 12, 2015 at 4:55 pm | #

            Frozen soup ice cubes.

      • JustCheetoDust
        JustCheetoDust
        March 12, 2015 at 12:27 am | #

        Maybe if someone ever makes a vichyssoise version of xiaolongbao.

        • anonymsly
          anonymsly
          March 12, 2015 at 8:29 am | #

          I desperately want to know this answer, but fear it is no.

  21. Just Me
    Just Me
    March 12, 2015 at 12:12 am | #

    Joyce, stop trying to make Becky happy and just be happy yourself. Becky had better be worth it, or there will be hell to pay.

    That is all.

  22. DuckDuckMoose
    DuckDuckMoose
    March 12, 2015 at 12:14 am | #

    Aw, Dorothy and Becky might actually bond over how ridiculous Joyce and Walky are!

    Poor Joyce with the ol’ chopsticks learning curve. It doesn’t help that nori can be as slippery as a greased weasel. Tempura or gyoza might have been a leetle bit easier for a beginner.

  23. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    March 12, 2015 at 12:15 am | #

    *plays Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start The Fire”, a song which even Billy admits was glorified “Chopsticks”*

    • tyersome
      tyersome
      March 12, 2015 at 12:22 am | #

      Really? But it only has one point …

  24. Gigi
    Gigi
    March 12, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

    Wasn’t it Ms. Yukari who broke apart the croquettes by using her chopsticks wrong…? Or are you referring to something else?

    • David M Willis
      David M Willis
      March 12, 2015 at 12:55 am | #

      Osaka has trouble pulling her chopsticks apart until Chiyo-chan tells her how to do it properly. Osaka is amazed, and this amazement is why she’s so happy and accomplished when she pulls her chopsticks apart cleanly in that YouTube video clip everyone’s seen.

      Later, she is angry when Tomo can’t do it.

      • Gigi
        Gigi
        March 12, 2015 at 2:03 am | #

        Ohhhh okay, gotcha. I thought the hovertext was referring to the last few panels where she’s having trouble picking up the sushi *thumbs up*

  25. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    March 12, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

    Paying attention is overrated anyway, Walky.

  26. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    March 12, 2015 at 12:17 am | #

    The hover text:

    = = ==THE PUN
    ME

    • CapedLuigisYoshi
      CapedLuigisYoshi
      March 12, 2015 at 12:19 am | #

      It’s an Azumanga reference.

      • Eraserhead
        Eraserhead
        March 12, 2015 at 11:50 pm | #

        omfg yes, i love this because of that specific reference XXD

  27. Ryan
    Ryan
    March 12, 2015 at 12:21 am | #

    Make her eat Unagi. It’s delicious.

    • CanadianShinobi
      CanadianShinobi
      March 12, 2015 at 12:56 am | #

      Mmmmmm unagi….

    • WingedBeast
      WingedBeast
      March 12, 2015 at 1:24 am | #

      If unagi were inexpensive enough, that would replace beef in my burgers.

    • Kelly
      Kelly
      March 12, 2015 at 1:35 am | #

      Ok, I like sushi in general, but unagi is not very good at all. I think I’d rather eat uni (sea urchin) than unagi

  28. Doctor_Lantern
    Doctor_Lantern
    March 12, 2015 at 12:24 am | #

    I feel bad for saying it, but I’m pretty good with chopsticks. Have been since the first time I tried using them years and years ago. It must be the Japanese genes in me giving me strength in chopstick prowess.

    • Historyman68
      Historyman68
      March 12, 2015 at 6:57 am | #

      My parents (father especially) have been into making Chinese/Asian food for my whole life, so I got to be really good at chopsticks. Still am.

    • Screwball
      Screwball
      March 12, 2015 at 8:40 pm | #

      Ah, but what about after your next regeneration? Might not have them next time…

      • Doctor_Lantern
        Doctor_Lantern
        March 12, 2015 at 8:51 pm | #

        New muscles… you’re right. I’ll have to remember to practice that…

  29. Cattleprod
    Cattleprod
    March 12, 2015 at 12:29 am | #

    Well, now I’m happy I didn’t ask Dorothy’s question from panel one about yesterday’s strip.

  30. Idon'tcarenomore
    Idon'tcarenomore
    March 12, 2015 at 12:33 am | #

    Way to go Joyce, guilt ’em all out, and chase that roll.

    The tip to hold one still and move the other, is the correct way to use chop sticks. The flat wooden ‘restaurant’ chop sticks are not easy to use, imo.

  31. Kensou
    Kensou
    March 12, 2015 at 12:51 am | #

    Tonight’s Dumbing of Age has made me want to watch Azumanga Daioh again. …And that’s a desire and a phrase I never expected to make.

  32. Dean
    Dean
    March 12, 2015 at 12:59 am | #

    Those last panels are exactly the way I use chopsticks- I’m always the one asking for a fork.

  33. caesaria82
    caesaria82
    March 12, 2015 at 1:00 am | #

    Occasionally I relate to Walky on a deeply spiritual level.

  34. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    March 12, 2015 at 1:17 am | #

    At some point I just stab the damn things.

  35. Kitschensyngk
    Kitschensyngk
    March 12, 2015 at 1:29 am | #

    Basically, you hold your chopsticks like you would a pencil, with the top chopstick between the tips of your thumb and index finger so you can bend your finger slightly to grip and pick up your food.

    I’ve eaten with chopsticks at Japanese restaurants before. I use them to eat bigger pieces of food like noodles or meat, and I’ve gotten pretty good at it with practice.

    But I will still eat rice with a fork.

    • ninja_jesus
      ninja_jesus
      March 12, 2015 at 3:56 am | #

      Unlike me, who will struggle with eating rice using chopsticks because I’m not a quitter. 😛

      • No Name
        No Name
        March 12, 2015 at 5:40 am | #

        How do you even do that? I know their rice is cooked to be sticky, but chopsticks just aren’t shaped right.

        • Sailor_Arashi
          Sailor_Arashi
          March 12, 2015 at 5:55 am | #

          The rice isn’t cooked to be sticky. The rice you’re used to is pressure-treated to make it not sticky. Sticky is the natural state of cooked rice.

          In any case, cooked rice is extremely easy to eat with chopsticks. You can just pull large chunks of it off with them. Because it’s sticky.

          • ninja_jesus
            ninja_jesus
            March 12, 2015 at 6:07 am | #

            Tell that to Panda Express. *eye roll*

            • Sailor_Arashi
              Sailor_Arashi
              March 12, 2015 at 9:45 am | #

              Panda Express isn’t exactly know for the authenticity of their cuisine either 😉

              • ninja_jesus
                ninja_jesus
                March 12, 2015 at 12:28 pm | #

                I know that, but my family loves eating there and I really like the fried rice.

                • Sailor_Arashi
                  Sailor_Arashi
                  March 12, 2015 at 3:04 pm | #

                  Fried rice is intended to be eaten with a spoon 😉

      • anonymsly
        anonymsly
        March 12, 2015 at 8:26 am | #

        I like to put nonsticky rice in a bowl, then hold up the bowl and use the chopsticks to shovel the rice into my gaping maw. (The gaping maw is an important part of this process. Anything less and rice goes on the table.)

        • Anracli
          Anracli
          March 12, 2015 at 9:38 am | #

          I’m pretty sure the shovel method is how you’re supposed to eat rice with chopsticks anyway. Pick up the bowl and go to town!

        • kelticat
          kelticat
          March 12, 2015 at 11:00 am | #

          And make sure that the tips of the chopsticks are crossed for a slight fork effect.

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      March 12, 2015 at 5:49 am | #

      This advice at one time seriously hindered my ability to learn to use chopsticks, because I evidently hold pencils incorrectly.

      I figured it out eventually, but still.

  36. Ashley
    Ashley
    March 12, 2015 at 1:45 am | #

    Joyce, your heart is in the right place.
    But no.

  37. Reaver
    Reaver
    March 12, 2015 at 1:56 am | #

    Joyce it is not YOUR responsibility to make BECKY happy, because she advanced on you and you said no 🙁

    • Rycan
      Rycan
      March 12, 2015 at 2:47 am | #

      I think this concept will take a bit longer for Joyce to grasp than being nice to homosexuals did.

      • Reaver
        Reaver
        March 12, 2015 at 4:27 am | #

        It makes me sad that she feels she has to make someone happy because she said NO 🙁

        • No Name
          No Name
          March 12, 2015 at 5:36 am | #

          Here’s a thought: Maybe Becky’s such a jerk to Joyce for the same reason poor little rich kids exist.

          Bear with me here: Joyce has given Becky everything she ever wanted (except sexy times, of course), and Becky’s gotten subconsciously tired of it, so she’s doing everything she can to get Joyce to GIVE UP on her already. Deep down though, she loves Joyce, which is why she hasn’t left yet and also why she kissed her (and was devastated when it wasn’t received). That same logic is why (at least some) poor little rich kids exist, specifically those with parents who gave them the world, like Linda to Walky, which, now that I think of it, makes perfect sense.

          • No Name
            No Name
            March 12, 2015 at 5:38 am | #

            Hold on, to be clear, I’m not saying it’s Joyce’s fault Becky’s a jerk. That’s all on Becky, but she needs to be neglected a bit to realize there is a problem.

        • Orbit Junkie
          Orbit Junkie
          March 12, 2015 at 1:58 pm | #

          I think Joyce is trying to make Becky happy because, “[Becky] had a dumb gay-hating best friend all of her life.” Not because Joyce feels guilty about rejecting her. Though she might have just a little of that too. She’s got a lot of feels going on right now.

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/02-threes-a-crowd/gunshot/

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      March 12, 2015 at 5:45 am | #

      When did she say (or imply) that she was going to make her happy because she rejected her, not because she’s her best friend who’s been abandoned by everyone else in her life, and has a very good chance of ending up homeless?

    • Heavensrun
      Heavensrun
      March 12, 2015 at 5:47 am | #

      No, it’s Joyce’s /desire/ to make Becky happy, because Becky is her oldest friend and she loves her. I’m sure she’s feeling awful that she can’t reciprocate Becky’s feelings, and she’s also feeling awful that she’s been kinda not great about the whole gay thing before Becky came out.

  38. Time Sage
    Time Sage
    March 12, 2015 at 2:01 am | #

    Lesson 1: Sushi is a finger food
    Lesson 2: Use your hands
    There is no lesson 3.

    • KSClaw
      KSClaw
      March 12, 2015 at 3:07 am | #

      Doesn’t that depend on the type of sushi?

      • Time Sage
        Time Sage
        March 12, 2015 at 4:52 am | #

        Well yes. But the type of sushi she’s eating is of the type you eat by hand…

        I guess that’s lesson 3?

  39. Reflex76
    Reflex76
    March 12, 2015 at 2:23 am | #

    If I’m not mistaken, the alt-text is an Azumanga Daioh reference. I have *no* problem with that.

  40. nothri
    nothri
    March 12, 2015 at 2:28 am | #

    Joyce is channeling every encounter I’ve ever had with chopsticks.

  41. OnyxIdol
    OnyxIdol
    March 12, 2015 at 2:38 am | #

    Walky you’re an idiot.

  42. tudza
    tudza
    March 12, 2015 at 2:50 am | #

    OK, I think I get it. To Osaka your break-apart chopsticks is to split them such that the top is not split evenly. I seem to remember one scene where Osaka is outrageously happy about not doing this.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      March 12, 2015 at 7:36 am | #

      And then she uses them as a good luck charm in the manga. There’s a bit where the others are going in for their exams and Chiyo’s got nothing else she can do so she gets a huge thing of them and splits them all one after the other.

      • Eraserhead
        Eraserhead
        March 12, 2015 at 11:52 pm | #

        i loved that part, it was so cute and silly XD

  43. Raibean
    Raibean
    March 12, 2015 at 5:12 am | #

    Sushi is traditionally finger food Joyce! Don’t die

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      March 12, 2015 at 9:40 am | #

      I find it hilarious that that is a perfect valid sentence in this context.

  44. Focal Malice
    Focal Malice
    March 12, 2015 at 5:25 am | #

    Or, I dunno, use your fingers?

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      March 12, 2015 at 6:25 am | #

      But then she’d have to touch the disgusting things.

  45. Messypaint
    Messypaint
    March 12, 2015 at 6:55 am | #

    How the balls do you make it to college without ever having used chopsticks or trying sushi?!

    • anonymsly
      anonymsly
      March 13, 2015 at 12:05 am | #

      Be a massively conservative, deeply fundamentalist-religious, homeschooled girl who eats only like five things and had never even seen a black person before going to college, I guess.

  46. overdosed
    overdosed
    March 12, 2015 at 7:07 am | #

    i pray for death by eating sushi

  47. The Wizard
    The Wizard
    March 12, 2015 at 7:52 am | #

    Use your damn hand!!!

  48. Aurickandrien
    Aurickandrien
    March 12, 2015 at 7:54 am | #

    I remember hearing somewhere that sushi was originally Japanese street/finger food, as in it was eaten with the fingers.

    Of course if you don’t get practice using chopsticks then you’ll never have the pleasure of Japanese people constantly and unknowingly belittle you by telling you how great and wonderful it is that you can use chopsticks.

    お箸が上手ですね!お箸が上手ですね!お箸が上手ですね!お箸が上手ですね!お箸が上手ですね!お箸が上手ですね!お箸が上手ですね!お箸が上手ですね!お箸が上手ですね!お箸が上手ですね!ad nauseam

    • Random832
      Random832
      March 12, 2015 at 9:55 am | #

      There are plenty of other things you can practice using chopsticks on. Unless Time Sage is going to come in and tell me I’m wrong, noodles and plain rice (don’t try this with western style long grain rice though) are both normally eaten with chopsticks.

    • Atlantic Salmon
      Atlantic Salmon
      March 12, 2015 at 6:10 pm | #

      Your Japanese is really good!

      Also, you look like Burado Pitto.

      • Trumpty trump trump
        Trumpty trump trump
        March 13, 2015 at 7:48 am | #

        Do you eat natto?

  49. LiquidPoison
    LiquidPoison
    March 12, 2015 at 8:18 am | #

    Dammit. Now I want sushi…

  50. Bilal Kalyal
    Bilal Kalyal
    March 12, 2015 at 9:10 am | #

    “DANGNABBIT! I’LL GET YOU L’IL SUSHI WHIPPERSNAPPERS WITH YER WOODEN CATTLE PROD SOME DAY!”

  51. advancecasette
    advancecasette
    March 12, 2015 at 9:30 am | #

    I should really go back and read more joyce and walky for terrible food antics

  52. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    March 12, 2015 at 9:33 am | #

    Joyce still exists in a childlike state where she feels obligated to make her friends happy so that they will like her. Friends like you for who you are, Joyce. You don’t have to spend your life pleasing them. If you do, they are not your friends.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      March 12, 2015 at 9:39 am | #

      I think that’s what Becky tries to express here and here</A. Joyce has already defied God for her. Sushi is optional.

  53. Bagge
    Bagge
    March 12, 2015 at 9:37 am | #

    There is some very real, very serious relationship drama going on here. Joyce is feeling guilty for Becky’s situation, for not being able to love her as she wanted and for how she herself and the culture she supported all her life has put Becky in this situation. Becky feels guilty for putting Joyce in that spot (and finally starts to register how stressed out Joyce is), while at the same time being annoyed for not being able to enjoying her coming-out-rush the fullest and being superstressed by… well, all the shit that can crash down on her any second. Dorothy is guilty for not having done more to help Joyce and frustrated that even a simple thing like eating dinner gets complicated. Walky is NOOOOOOPS NO FEEEEEELS and try to stay in the background.

    So I find it hilarious that all this frustration is presented in the most melodramatic fashion possible by Joyce EATING SUSHI!!!! I’M EATING THE SUSHI FOR YOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU BECKY!

    • TSB
      TSB
      March 12, 2015 at 1:28 pm | #

      Great analysis, totally agreed.

      • Orbit Junkie
        Orbit Junkie
        March 12, 2015 at 2:05 pm | #

        Seconded!

    • StClair
      StClair
      March 12, 2015 at 7:48 pm | #

      Yyyup.

    • M-M
      M-M
      March 12, 2015 at 9:32 pm | #

      Excellent take!! One dragon roll for you! (Sans drama)

      • Orbit Junkie
        Orbit Junkie
        March 12, 2015 at 11:38 pm | #

        Dinner does not come without existential ennui! No, we can’t just “put it on the side!”

  54. Mkvenner
    Mkvenner
    March 12, 2015 at 11:11 am | #

    JUST USE YOUR DAMN FINGERS!

    That’s what I do.

  55. Killjoy
    Killjoy
    March 12, 2015 at 11:46 am | #

    I have no issue with anyone using chopsticks who wants to or likes to use them.

    Any notion that one needs to or is expected to use chopsticks… no.

    Utensils are tools, they are for getting something done, the word even shares etymology with “utility”.

  56. wakeangel2001
    wakeangel2001
    March 12, 2015 at 12:31 pm | #

    I’ve eaten that exact sushi, it’s not bad at all, plus it holds together well enough that you can just pick it up with your hand

  57. Odiepodie
    Odiepodie
    March 12, 2015 at 1:24 pm | #

    Does anyone know if Joyce has allergies? Currently thinking that (based on the trajectory of this meal) eating the sushi might just actually kill her…

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      March 12, 2015 at 4:51 pm | #

      Because JOEFT (Joyce Only Eats Five Things), it is unlikely that anyone knows if Joyce has seafood allergies.

      Interesting question – is freshwater fish considered ‘seafood’?

      • Sailor_Arashi
        Sailor_Arashi
        March 12, 2015 at 5:05 pm | #

        >Interesting question – is freshwater fish considered ‘seafood’?

        By legal definition, yes. All fish is ‘seafood’.

        By culinary definition…eh…some chefs don’t consider *any* fish to be “seafood” saying that they are “fish”, but then file freshwater crustaceans as “seafood”.

        In common use, “seafood” is any edible aquatic animal.

      • Twirls
        Twirls
        March 12, 2015 at 6:10 pm | #

        if she sticks with the California Roll there isn’t any fish in that one, is there?

        • Sailor_Arashi
          Sailor_Arashi
          March 12, 2015 at 6:26 pm | #

          There’s crab (or more commonly imitation crab which is actually fish).

  58. chris73
    chris73
    March 12, 2015 at 3:16 pm | #

    Ahh Joyce you’re a sweetheart but you can’t make someone happy unless they choose to be happy (of course we all think we can)

  59. Killjoy
    Killjoy
    March 12, 2015 at 4:03 pm | #

    Is it just me, or is Dorothy susceptible to the facepalms?

  60. Twirls
    Twirls
    March 12, 2015 at 6:09 pm | #

    Fun fact – I have a friend who recently graduated from Jacob’s at IU and when I told him about this comic and told him about Galasso’s he asked if they’d been to Ami and when McAwesome’s showed up yesterday I Asked and he said it looked like it,
    so yeah!

  61. Kintrex
    Kintrex
    March 12, 2015 at 7:22 pm | #

    Listen to Joyce here, swearin’ up a storm.

  62. Ailorn
    Ailorn
    March 12, 2015 at 11:03 pm | #

    I want sushi…

  63. TIl
    TIl
    March 15, 2015 at 1:39 pm | #

    Sushi is a finger food.

  64. TIl
    TIl
    March 15, 2015 at 1:39 pm | #

    Sushi is a finger food.

  65. Lord Geovanni
    Lord Geovanni
    March 16, 2015 at 3:55 am | #

    at least walky got a glimpse of my daily life but he gets sex you really cant equate mine to his

  66. Osaka
    Osaka
    April 23, 2016 at 10:16 pm | #

    Oh my god I can’t believe it an actual AzuDai reference DoA is the bestest! The bestest!

So...

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CONVENTION APPEARANCES


September 13/14, 2025 - Small Press Expo in Bethesda, Maryland

David M Willis! avatar
David M Willis!
@damnyouwillis.bsky.social
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1h
I need more Muslim characters! Or at least more prominent ones who aren't Raidah. It is a huge giant hole in my strip that makes it suck. The current storyline would've been way better if they existed. But they don't, and no amount of throwing Asma in for three strips solves it.
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Willow @willowmims.bsky.social ⋅ 16h
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3h
never in a million years thought i'd have to convince anybody JOYCE was queer always thought dorothy was the harder sell
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Doc Impossible @impossiblephd.bsky.social ⋅ 7h
That one Real Life Comic strip Tha cracked a million eggs.
Further on in the RLC comics run, where Mae says that the stuff she liked that she thought made her a man is just stuff, and that it doesn't mean anything.
mel.bzky.team's user avatarmel! @mel.bzky.team ⋅ 5m
TRANS WOMEN OF BLUESKY: What was your egg cracking moment? When did you know you were trans? What made you realize? And did you know you were a woman right away, or did you pass through other identities first
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 16h
Dumbing of Age: "Detouring" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
wilding out at this old becky profile
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Linkara @linkara.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Also, I see we're bringing back the ol' love octagon.
Several panels from the webcomic Shortpacked! depicting the character Robin Desanto unveiling a chalkboard that shows various characters in the webcomics' romantic relationship statuses to each other, the equivalent of a
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John Berry @drawncoyote.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
It worked! Thanks, Joe! Also, sorry, Joe.
Joe:
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
I think you mean Poop. Prints don't drop from the butt.
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Dan Schkade @danschkade.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Happy Nonbinary People's Day, you gemstones. A year or two back we introduced FLASH GORDON's first enby, the outlaw lawman Bones Malock. Having known and loved a lot of nonbinary people, I knew the truest way to represent you was as a unsettling desert pirate with a lightning sword
Flash Gordon's Bones Malock:
Bones Malock, under captions reading:
Bones Malock and Flash Gordon.

Flash: Okay... wait thirty seconds, then give me a distraction.

Bones: Got just the thing.

Flash: Do NOT blow the place up.

Bones: You're the boss.
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Hannah Who @notablyuncool.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Happy International Non-Binary People's Day to all those who work, create, parent, protest, love and live without ever fitting into someone else's category.
header image - a yellow purple and black flag flies in the wind
media.tenor.com
a yellow purple and black flag flies in the wind
Alt: Non-binary flag blowing in the wind
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
A blond female Philly Phanatic says
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Bits @bitshammer.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Mood
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Jacob @jacobaugust.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Nice.
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DaisyFM ✒︎ @daisyfm.net ⋅ 2d
Okay, everyone's jumping to conclusions, but Joyce was hit with a mysterious pink gas in Thursday's strip. Now, in recent years, the police are known to increasingly use military grade weapons. Which reminded me of this bit of proposed technology from the 1990s: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_bomb
en.wikipedia.org
Gay bomb - Wikipedia
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
I ain't readin' all that!
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
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LIVE JOCELYNE REACTION
that's not the end!  there's more tomorrow, already on patreon!...
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "LIVE JOCELYNE REACTION" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
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LIVE JOCELYNE REACTION
that's not the end!  there's more tomorrow, already on patreon!...
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Jay Edidin @edidin.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
hey, kid, what do you want to play with from the cool superhero movie? is it a nude, melting senator who feels like a stretch armstrong doll that has been left out in the son and maybe mildly chewed by a neighborhood dog? WELL, SON, YOU'RE IN LUCK!
the most upsetting toy of all time: a small and horrible statue of melting, nude Senator Kelly from the first x-men film
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
James Gunn i demand u bring back Conservative Superman
Superman shaking Jared Fogle’s hand
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
(July 10, 2026)
Sal and Danny saw you from across the room and enjoy your vibe.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
trying to voice recognition a search for superman's actor
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Drivaaar @drivaaar.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
I want YOU to transform Autobot City (with generous green spaces, affordable public transport and amenities, and plentiful social initiatives)
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
welp back to drawing comics featuring a character you can't see yet for like 11 months
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Paul Bassett Davies @thewritertype.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Then they came for the sarcastic people and I was like oh great that's exactly what we need right now well done to all concerned.
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Cass 🪻 @cassmoney.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Comic of a man peering through a window.
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The Nerdy Lawyer @nerdylawyer.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dorothy: You can't just follow me into fire! Joyce: You don't want me following you into fire? Then don't run into fire!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
today in #9chickweedlane i learned i apparently gotta go see if "correlate" has an archaic definition that means something nonsense
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Virginia Barksdale @virginiabarksdale.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
screaming, crying, throwing up, Pete the Peacock is real, I feel lesbian God in this chili's tonight
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
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jesus christ tomorrow's strip early on patreon oh my god...
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
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RiotGrlErin @riotgrlerin.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
pam bondi as porta potties: thread
Pam bondi and he side profile wearing a dark yellow coat.
A yellow porta potty probably less shitty than Pam.
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