Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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June 14, 2026

Tired

by David M Willis on July 11, 2017 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - The 'Do' List
└ Tags: jennifer, ruth

Discussion (239) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    July 11, 2017 at 12:01 am | #

    hope springs eternal

    • Emperor Daniel
      Emperor Daniel
      July 11, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

      Unlike the Leafs, which fall eternal.

      • StClair
        StClair
        July 11, 2017 at 12:07 am | #

        *slow clap*

      • Foxhack
        Foxhack
        July 11, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

        Please don’t kick them when they’re down. Even if that’s their default state.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          July 11, 2017 at 1:15 am | #

          Being down, or being kicked when they’re down?

          • Trrebi981
            Trrebi981
            July 11, 2017 at 1:40 am | #

            Both of course

      • Sunny
        Sunny
        July 11, 2017 at 1:11 am | #

        Have an internet cookie. That was excellent.

        • miados
          miados
          July 11, 2017 at 2:00 pm | #

          is it disabled? i dont want to get a virus

      • Hellespont
        Hellespont
        July 11, 2017 at 3:13 am | #

        “They are not dead which can eternal lie”

        • Clif
          Clif
          July 11, 2017 at 11:39 am | #

          Politicians are immortal.

      • Pablo360
        Pablo360
        July 11, 2017 at 11:10 am | #

        That’s what they said about the Cubs.

    • Goz
      Goz
      July 11, 2017 at 9:31 am | #

      As a lifelong Cubs fan…Keep your chin up Leafs fans! And Mariners fans…

  2. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    July 11, 2017 at 12:02 am | #

    That explains the high anti-depressant sales in Chicago…

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      July 11, 2017 at 12:03 am | #

      Wonder if they changed this last year at all.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        July 11, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

        Probably not, depression is kinda a chronic condition that doesn’t go away just because the initial cause has been corrected. You can’t put out a forest fire by extinguishing the match that started it.

        • Clif
          Clif
          July 11, 2017 at 11:49 am | #

          The Doctor can if he goes back in time. Unfortunately this activates catastrophic repair process if the fire was a fixed point in time.

      • Aeron
        Aeron
        July 11, 2017 at 12:59 am | #

        Pharmaceutical stocks around the globe crashed after the Cubs won the World Series.

        • Reltzik
          Reltzik
          July 11, 2017 at 1:17 am | #

          You’re kidding, right?

          YES, fans of the Cubs franchise were suddenly jubilant.

          But fans of EVERY OTHER FRANCHISE suddenly had to cope with exactly WHO they’d lost to.

          • shadowcell
            shadowcell
            July 11, 2017 at 1:47 am | #

            yeah but the glitch in the Matrix that allowed the Cubs and Cavaliers to win championships was patched sometime between the 3rd and 4th quarters of the Super Bowl.

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              July 11, 2017 at 2:49 am | #

              Never underestimate The Hoodie.

            • Mr. Bulbmin
              Mr. Bulbmin
              July 11, 2017 at 5:23 am | #

              That wasn’t a glitch. It was RNJesus being surprisingly merciful to the pitiful ones. Remember the First Rule of Mario Party: If someone is so far in last place that you think that they’re irrelevant, Chance Time/Reversal of Fortune is all but inevitable.

              • Jhon
                Jhon
                July 11, 2017 at 9:32 pm | #

                Blue Shells?

        • Liliaeth
          Liliaeth
          July 11, 2017 at 7:54 am | #

          Part of me is still convinced that some Cubs fan made a deal with the devil in order to get them to win, that led to Trump becoming president.

          • Bucket
            Bucket
            July 11, 2017 at 8:00 am | #

            Wonder if this whole slide started back in ’04 when the Red Sox broke the curse?

          • RacingTurtle
            RacingTurtle
            July 11, 2017 at 5:03 pm | #

            Plausible. 😡

      • Hellespont
        Hellespont
        July 11, 2017 at 3:14 am | #

        Bolstered by sales in Cleveland, I assume…

      • hof1991
        hof1991
        July 11, 2017 at 9:01 am | #

        There’s always Da Bears. Really 1985 was a long time ago and the NFL title before that was a verylong time ago.

  3. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    July 11, 2017 at 12:04 am | #

    you can’t get hate sex that easily, but more easily than the leafs can get a cup HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    • TheAnonymousGuy
      TheAnonymousGuy
      July 11, 2017 at 12:27 am | #

      Maybe she can’t but, with the right combination of action and statement you could definitely get some sympathy sex.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      July 12, 2017 at 3:01 pm | #

      Pretty sure they all have cups, cant play hockey without one, well, at least if you are male.

  4. Sam
    Sam
    July 11, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    Now she is tired and roasted.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      July 11, 2017 at 3:18 pm | #

      I’m so tired
      Tired of being admired
      Tired of love uninspired
      Let’s face it, I’m tired

  5. Thor
    Thor
    July 11, 2017 at 12:05 am | #

    Once the Leafs do win, this will be all out of joint with real world continuity. And it will only go back into continuity if twenty winless years thereafter elapse.

    • Cattleprod
      Cattleprod
      July 11, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

      I’m confident this will never be an issue.

      • foamy
        foamy
        July 11, 2017 at 4:18 am | #

        I’ll lay down a prediction right here: The entire cast will have graduated before the Leafs win another Cup.

        • Ben Whalley
          Ben Whalley
          July 11, 2017 at 7:31 am | #

          As long as they keep selling out Air Canada Centre, there is just no reason for the Leafs to win. Rabid (stupid?) fans keep shelling out hundreds of dollars for upper deck seats to a chronically losing team. Native Torontonian here, not a hater, just a realist.

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            July 12, 2017 at 3:03 pm | #

            I seem to remember reading that they could have nobody buy tickets for a game, the arena could be empty, and they would still make money.

        • Cephalo the Pod
          Cephalo the Pod
          July 11, 2017 at 1:12 pm | #

          Considering that David Willis does not currently intend to cover any period of time beyond this forst semester, that’s a pretty bold claim.

          • foamy
            foamy
            July 12, 2017 at 4:44 pm | #

            I consider it much more likely that he will change his mind than the Leafs will win a Cup.

  6. StClair
    StClair
    July 11, 2017 at 12:06 am | #

    Go Leafs.

  7. Passchendaele
    Passchendaele
    July 11, 2017 at 12:07 am | #

    wait a minute, the cubs are even worse – whoops, nevermind. :p

    • Solenoid
      Solenoid
      July 11, 2017 at 12:22 am | #

      They split the timeline and we all know the consequences.

      • Jon Rich
        Jon Rich
        July 11, 2017 at 5:45 pm | #

        Bad things happen to wizards who mess with time.

  8. BBCC
    BBCC
    July 11, 2017 at 12:07 am | #

    Oh, Ruth, that’s a lie and you know it.

  9. Achallenger
    Achallenger
    July 11, 2017 at 12:08 am | #

    Hate sex takes work. Dirty, sweat y angry work..

    …. Get in my bunk

    • miados
      miados
      July 11, 2017 at 12:41 am | #

      sounds like to much work.

      I’m just gonna study.

  10. Shiro
    Shiro
    July 11, 2017 at 12:09 am | #

    It’s nice to see these girls doing so well.

    • miados
      miados
      July 11, 2017 at 12:42 am | #

      well….. better i think but well is a term i wait to see a bit more than just a comic about the type of tired and sex ruth is feeling at the moment.

  11. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    July 11, 2017 at 12:09 am | #

    *plays “Brass Bonanza” on the hacked Muzak*

    • foamy
      foamy
      July 11, 2017 at 4:19 am | #

      You, sir, are a man of impeccable taste.

    • Bucket
      Bucket
      July 11, 2017 at 8:01 am | #

      *stirring memories of Whalers fandom*

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        July 11, 2017 at 8:28 am | #

        What are the betting odds on the Hartford Whalers or Quebec Nordiques winning the Stanley Cup before the Leafs?

        (Yes, I’m aware of what that entails. And I miss the Nordiques.)

    • mshn422
      mshn422
      July 11, 2017 at 12:40 pm | #

      Great, not only did this comic remind me that I’ve never seen my Mets or Jets win a championship, now I’m reminded how my Whalers don’t even exist anymore. The only saving grace I have in sports is UConn basketball.

      • Bucket
        Bucket
        July 11, 2017 at 4:06 pm | #

        For me, I’ll catch up with college hockey and my RPI ENngineers.

  12. Kamino Neko
    Kamino Neko
    July 11, 2017 at 12:11 am | #

    Billie, no. Don’t taunt a Leafs fan. They’re scary.

    • TamiDOA
      TamiDOA
      July 11, 2017 at 12:21 am | #

      I try to always remember that fan is short for fanatic. And taunting a fanatic is like poking a lion with a short stick.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        July 11, 2017 at 3:01 am | #

        And Ruth is no fair-weather fan. She’s dedicated, and will defend her team with all the pent-up rage and fury that can only come from decades of mediocrity.

        • Emily
          Emily
          July 11, 2017 at 6:14 am | #

          There’s no such thing as a fair-weather Leafs fan because the Leafs never have fair-weather.

    • moriarty70
      moriarty70
      July 11, 2017 at 12:29 am | #

      We’re just rebuilding right now. And we didn’t expect them to get in the playoffs, let alone put up such a fight. And besides, my dad was 13 when they won last time, had me at 30 and now I’m 33, so yeah. My work has sworn they’ll close down the day of the victory parade since no one will be there.

      • butting
        butting
        July 11, 2017 at 12:51 am | #

        I just wanna say thank you, as an All Blacks supporter shaken by the recent series draw (as indeed the whole country is), for giving us a comforting look at life on the other side.

        I mean, we hear about it, but to come so close to it… it’s… it’s scary.

        I feel ya.

        • Dean
          Dean
          July 11, 2017 at 12:58 am | #

          If it makes you feel any better, rugby isn’t a real sport anyway.

          • butting
            butting
            July 11, 2017 at 1:52 am | #

            Talking of it as sport… yeah, that falls short. Bill Shankly came close talking of football, when he said it wasn’t a matter of life and death, it’s far more important than that.

            (real talk: the physio who stitched up Buck Shelford’s scrotum before he went back out for more worked my back over for a while. hard to get realer than that.)

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              July 12, 2017 at 3:06 pm | #

              Hope he washed his hands first.

      • foamy
        foamy
        July 11, 2017 at 2:49 am | #

        That’s promise they can make knowing they’ll never need to follow through :p

    • miados
      miados
      July 11, 2017 at 12:30 am | #

      not if you use a rake.

  13. Jay
    Jay
    July 11, 2017 at 12:14 am | #

    Other than our women’s basketball team, my home state’s teams haven’t won a national title since the year I was born.

    • mrj
      mrj
      July 11, 2017 at 12:20 am | #

      Do I detect another Minnesotan here? (The Lynx manage to be both our best sports team and the one that we pay the least attention to.)

      • Jenwren
        Jenwren
        July 11, 2017 at 1:45 am | #

        Yay, Minnesota pride! Go Lynx!

      • Jay
        Jay
        July 11, 2017 at 1:50 am | #

        That you do! Woo!

        • ValdVin
          ValdVin
          July 11, 2017 at 4:46 am | #

          The Lynx are certainly making the most out of Maya Moore’s career. And I love Lindsay Whalen’s balance after contact, whic I imagine she honed playing hockey with all her brothers.

    • Deathjavu
      Deathjavu
      July 11, 2017 at 9:24 am | #

      If we are talking MN, I’m pretty sure both our college and pro hockey teams have won championships in your lifetime.

      But on average, our sports teams are disappointing enough that I’ve stopped watching sports all together. I was really in to it when I was little, but something about watching your mom and grandpa fruitlessly scream at the TV really makes you question sports fanaticism

  14. TamiDOA
    TamiDOA
    July 11, 2017 at 12:14 am | #

    Billie, do you REALLY want her to question the things she chooses to associate herself with?

  15. Rukduk
    Rukduk
    July 11, 2017 at 12:17 am | #

    Half of me couldn’t really give a damn about hockey. The other half of me is from Edmonton though, so I’m never happy unless a team from Alberta wins.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      July 12, 2017 at 3:09 pm | #

      Didn’t you get the memo? You aren’t doing it right. An Edmonton fan is supposed to hate the Flames with a deep, abiding and eternal passion, and would rather see Montreal win yet another cup than have Calgary win.

  16. Rocketboy1313
    Rocketboy1313
    July 11, 2017 at 12:19 am | #

    “So, we doing this or what?”
    “Yeah… Just… Can you do all the work? I kind of just want to lay here.”

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      July 11, 2017 at 3:24 pm | #

      She’s tired (She’s tired)
      Sick and tired of love (Give her a break)
      She’s had her fill of love (She’s not a snake)
      From bellow and above (Can’t you see she’s sick)
      Tired (She’s bushed)
      Tired of being admired (Let her alone)
      Tired of love uninspired (Get off the phone)
      She’s tired (Don’t you know she’s pooped)

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        July 12, 2017 at 3:10 pm | #

        Someone watched Blazing Saddles far too many times.

  17. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    July 11, 2017 at 12:21 am | #

    Actually Ruth, I think Billie is offering you “pity sex”. All sex with Leafs fans is pity sex.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      July 11, 2017 at 1:24 am | #

      Dunno…. if Billie says that I think it will be hate sex after all…

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        July 11, 2017 at 1:50 am | #

        It can be both.

        • Pablo360
          Pablo360
          July 11, 2017 at 11:13 am | #

          Hate and pity – the two romantic emotions.

          • Poskie
            Poskie
            July 11, 2017 at 2:02 pm | #

            Aaaand I found the Homestuck.

  18. Hellespont
    Hellespont
    July 11, 2017 at 12:21 am | #

    Ice Hockey is one of the few American games I never got into. Watching it is like watching a bunch of oversized, badly decorated wedding cakes sitting, unsecured in the back of a large truck.

    As opposed to real hockey, which is fast moving and looks like a lot of fun.

    • Halpful
      Halpful
      July 11, 2017 at 12:35 am | #

      are you saying hockey isn’t canadian, or are you saying americans ruined it and called it “ice hockey” (which sounds redundant)? I don’t know enough about sports to tell.

      • miados
        miados
        July 11, 2017 at 12:43 am | #

        wait they made an ice based version of street hockey?

        • Hellespont
          Hellespont
          July 11, 2017 at 1:33 am | #

          Hey look a hockey joke. Thank you.

          • John
            John
            July 11, 2017 at 3:03 pm | #

            You want a hockey joke?

            “The Leafs.”

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              July 12, 2017 at 3:11 pm | #

              Heyooooo!

      • Hellespont
        Hellespont
        July 11, 2017 at 12:45 am | #

        I am saying it is an American aberration.

        You lot really need to to figure out what continent you are on, but that is a seperate issue.

        • Halpful
          Halpful
          July 11, 2017 at 12:51 am | #

          The continent is *North* America. 😛 I live in Canada, and I am NOT an American. (trump hasn’t invaded *yet* 😛 )

          • Hellespont
            Hellespont
            July 11, 2017 at 12:54 am | #

            You are American.

            • Halpful
              Halpful
              July 11, 2017 at 12:55 am | #

              do NOT tell me my nationality. Fuck You.

              • Hellespont
                Hellespont
                July 11, 2017 at 12:59 am | #

                America is not a nation.

                No thank you.

              • Derek
                Derek
                July 11, 2017 at 1:54 am | #

                America is a continent, USA is a country

                • John
                  John
                  July 11, 2017 at 3:10 pm | #

                  North America is a continent. America is a country.

                • begbert2
                  begbert2
                  July 11, 2017 at 5:39 pm | #

                  Seconding John – North America is a continent. South America is a continent. “The Americas” is a collective term for the above two continents and adjacent islands. “America”, singular, is a short name for The United States of America.

                  Similarly, the terms “American”, “North American”, and “South American” described residents of the aforementioned regions, such that Canadians are not in the set of people known as ‘Americans’. A fact for which they are probably profoundly grateful.

            • Fart Captor
              Fart Captor
              July 11, 2017 at 12:58 am | #

              You know, it’s actually possible to clarify what you mean without being a dick about it.

              • Hellespont
                Hellespont
                July 11, 2017 at 1:00 am | #

                It is possible to hear something you don’t want to hear without swearing and being a dick. Care to try it one day.

                • Fart Captor
                  Fart Captor
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:06 am | #

                  I don’t give a damn if you’ve decided that “American” isn’t commonly used among English speakers to refer specifically to people from the USA.

                  YOU are the one who said “You lot really need to to figure out what continent you are on”. Before anybody said a big mean curse word at you.

                  Then when Halpful explained that they’re Canadian, so it should have been painfully obvious that what you meant is not what was being understood, you decided to simply say “You are American” like a condescending ass, rather than even try to explain yourself better.

                • Hellespont
                  Hellespont
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:15 am | #

                  You lot really do need to figure out what continent you are on, stop playing thread police, No one respects your AwThorITie.

                  Please try to post on topic from now on, scenery chewing is not appreciated,

                • Yotomoe
                  Yotomoe
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:15 am | #

                  People telling you what you are is pretty annoying, to be honest.

                • dethtoll
                  dethtoll
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:18 am | #

                  Well, this thread is sure going places.

                • Hellespont
                  Hellespont
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:23 am | #

                  Not my fault American idiosyncrasies are funny.

                  One poster so far has made a responding sports joke. I should probably thank them.

                • foamy
                  foamy
                  July 11, 2017 at 2:51 am | #

                  Anybody who calls hockey “ice hockey” doesn’t have opinions that’re worth listening to anyway.

                • Bicycle Bill
                  Bicycle Bill
                  July 11, 2017 at 3:07 am | #

                  I have no problem with someone calling it ice hockey, especially since there is also field hockey, street hockey, and air hockey. Not to mention that in many places the word ‘hockey’ is an euphemism for fecal matter.

                • Shiro
                  Shiro
                  July 11, 2017 at 3:19 am | #

                  It’s like you work at being the most unpleasant-to-talk-to person in the room.

                • Shiro
                  Shiro
                  July 11, 2017 at 3:22 am | #

                  Damn these silly threading limits. Naturally that was @Hellespont, for whom the distinction is not a new one.

                • Hellespont
                  Hellespont
                  July 11, 2017 at 4:37 am | #

                  @Shiro Always amusing how often the self important demand humility and compliance from others. Thanks for the laugh and the valuable contribution.

                  @Bicycle Bill funnily enough the only places hockey is a euphemism for fecal matter are are all covered by the NHL.

                • Fart Captor
                  Fart Captor
                  July 11, 2017 at 7:48 am | #

                  @Hellespont, “not deliberately antagonizing people” is generally not that much to ask of someone, as difficult as it may be for you.

                • SillyGoose
                  SillyGoose
                  July 11, 2017 at 8:03 am | #

                  Air hockey? Never heard of that before. Sounds like the Muggle name for Quidditch.

                • 3-I
                  3-I
                  July 11, 2017 at 8:31 am | #

                  @Hellespont: I really hope someone poops in your socks. Because you are a rude dismissive jerk practicing linguistic prescriptivism to demonstrate your superiority to others.

                • Hellespont
                  Hellespont
                  July 11, 2017 at 9:03 am | #

                  As usual, I am not the one being deliberately antagonistic. Just the one that is amused by those that are, Fart.

                • Shiro
                  Shiro
                  July 11, 2017 at 11:40 am | #

                  @Hellespont: You’re an obnoxious little troll and I thought you’d been banned over…hm, what was it that you were That Guy-ing over? You all run together for me at this point. Anyway that might’ve been better for the general quality of the comments section.

                • 3-I
                  3-I
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:20 pm | #

                  @Hellespont “Touching on the topic at hand.”

                  The topic at hand is YOUR BEHAVIOR. It’s what WE’RE all talking about, so get the hell onboard. Why are you doubling down when people are calling you out on your utter contemptible rudeness and self-important little complaints about anyone and everyone? You are being wilfully obtuse. You are deliberately going out of your way to insult people. You. Are. Trolling.

                  I hope someone VOMITS in your socks, because poop is NOT SUFFICIENTLY UNPLEASANT.

                • begbert2
                  begbert2
                  July 11, 2017 at 5:43 pm | #

                  I can’t speak to whether Hellespont is a horrible person with bad hair, but it is definitely the case that 1) “Americans” definitely refers to citizens of the USA, and *not* Canadians, and 2) nobody who knows what continent they’re on disagrees with this.

                • Shiro
                  Shiro
                  July 11, 2017 at 11:04 pm | #

                  @Hellespont: Pfffffhaha wow, who’s over the top here? Threats? Patently ridiculous. I can’t recall specifics since your last little tantrum was smack dab in the middle of a period where we had a new That Guy every comments section, but if I’m remembering correctly, just like now, you threw a snitfit because you communicated your point poorly, multiple people called you out, and instead of clarifying, you chose to be an arrogant little shit about it. Probably because, like most internet kids who think provoking others is close enough to having a personality, you find negative attention is better than no attention.

                  I fully admit to name-calling, but only in cases where it’s justly and richly deserved. Like now, you unpleasant little shitstirring troll.

            • Emily
              Emily
              July 11, 2017 at 8:44 am | #

              I mean if you want to be unbearably pedantic sure.

        • Hellespont
          Hellespont
          July 11, 2017 at 12:53 am | #

          There are only two countries that buy into the idea that the USA is America and I am from neither. I don’t see it catching on.

          • Halpful
            Halpful
            July 11, 2017 at 12:54 am | #

            are you going to tell me I’m not bisexual either? 😛

            • Hellespont
              Hellespont
              July 11, 2017 at 12:57 am | #

              Are you saying no Americans are bisexual? Because I have bad news for you.

              • Yotomoe
                Yotomoe
                July 11, 2017 at 1:04 am | #

                Both of you are misunderstanding one another phenomenally. Calm down, dudes.

                • Hellespont
                  Hellespont
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:13 am | #

                  Wrong on all counts. Thank you for your valuable contribution.

                  Just to reiterate.

                  Ice Hockey (the Variant of hockey played on ice) is one of the few American games (games [things people play and take WAY to seriously] played in America [the pair of continents {something else people take WAY too seriously}])) I never got into.

                  Watching it is like watching a bunch of oversized, badly decorated wedding cakes sitting, unsecured in the back of a large truck.

                  Hockey (if I have to explain what hockey is…google it, the definitions are usually American and therefore wrong, but you will be able to work it out), on the other hand, is fast paced and one of the highlights of the Olympics.

                  Anyone caring to take offence to any of that, please direct your “corrections” to someone that cares.

                • Jaime
                  Jaime
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:13 am | #

                  For quite a while saying “I’m an American” meant “I’m from the United States.” That is NOT a fair thing to say, and is frankly pretty imperialist, but a lot of people have internalized it.

                  (Not the least because of he-who-shall-not-be-named running around yelling, “Make America great again!”) 🤢

                  I am working hard on saying, “I am from the United States.” “I am a U.S.ian” is good in the internets but doesn’t really translate well to speech, so I try really hard to say when people ask in person, “I am a U.S. resident.”

                  PS: There are LOTS of bisexuals in the U.S. – I’m one! (Although, to be fair, I identify more as omnisexual now to avoid the repressive quagmire of binary gender/sex bias.) 🙂

                • Jaime
                  Jaime
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:18 am | #

                  Edit: I should have qualified that saying “I’m an American” often meant you’re a U.S. citizen for *PEOPLE IN THE U.S.*. I’ve visited both Canada (Quebec City and Montreal) and Central America (Mexico) but I’ve never lived anywhere other than the U.S., so I’m speaking from my own perspective and am sorry if I offended.

                • Hellespont
                  Hellespont
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:20 am | #

                  Pretty much how I feel Jaime. Added to the general feeling that I ca’t see any reason the word “America” is offensive. Unless there is an agreed upon indigenous word, of course.

                  I am a Dual citizen of the US and Australia.

                  I have no idea how to label myself sexually and mostly care not to.

                • Yotomoe
                  Yotomoe
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:20 am | #

                  It’s more of a colloqualism than an imperialism. USA is short for “United States of America.” America is in the title.

                  It’s worth noting that no one has mentioned SOUTH AMERICA is a thing. So even by that logic, calling Hockey “American” seems inaccurate because I don’t think South Americans play Ice hockey much. Though I’m from the south so I don’t know who nuthin’ bout no hockey any ways.

                • Fart Captor
                  Fart Captor
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:25 am | #

                  @Jaime: I think it has less to do with imperialism than the fact that there just isn’t another way to shorten “someone from the USA” into a single noun. There aren’t any other countries in either continent that have “America” in the name, so its pretty clear which one you’re referring to.

                  I can’t understand why Hellespont didn’t just SAY “I’m referring to the continent, not the USA”, instead of being unnecessarily snide about it.

                • Yotomoe
                  Yotomoe
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:29 am | #

                  To be fair I think everyone was a little bit snippy. The conversation seemed to escalate quite a bit more than it should’ve.

                • Hellespont
                  Hellespont
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:32 am | #

                  Yes Fart, we gathered that. Several posts ago. “Need a map back to the topic?”, I asked, snidely.

                • Jaime
                  Jaime
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:34 am | #

                  I apologize for not mentioning South America; I guess I kind of assumed that most readers knew that was another of the “Americas.” (You know what happens when you assume…) 😛

                  I’ve read a few places that some Indigenous groups’ original name for North America was “Turtle Island.” WHY DID WE STOP CALLING IT THAT. I would be SO happy to say, “I’m a Turtle Islander!”

                  PS: Yotomoe, I am horribly ignorant of a lot of South America, about which I’m very ashamed. However, I know my stepfather plays street hockey in the summer (I live in the Northeast U.S.), which involves roller skates/rollerblades and no ice at all. Is that a popular sport where you live? I also seem to remember that Brazil pretty much kicks everyone elses’ @$$ during the World Cup!

                  PS: I have now expended my ENTIRE knowledge of sports unless I just start spouting random terms. Lay-up home-run quarterback endzone basket 1st down home plate. EEEP! 😉

                • Random832
                  Random832
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:37 am | #

                  I think a piece that may be missing from some people’s understanding here is that in many languages, and in Spanish in particular, “America” is properly used to refer to, as a single continent (canal aside, it is one contiguous landmass after all), what we consider to be ‘North America’ and ‘South America’.

                • Yotomoe
                  Yotomoe
                  July 11, 2017 at 1:54 am | #

                  My point about South America is not condemning you for not mentioning it. It’s more just pointing out how POINTLESS it is for any of us to be arguing these semantics.

                  This conversation literally could’ve been
                  “Hockey’s american”
                  “Actually it’s canadian”
                  “I mean the continents”
                  “Oh, gotcha!”

                  Jeez guys, stop taking life so seriously. You’re bumming me out.

                • Jaime
                  Jaime
                  July 11, 2017 at 2:12 am | #

                  @Rnadom 832: IIRC, I heard the exact same thing from one of my Spanish-speaking students a couple of years ago about the term “American.” (I’ve got to confess that my Spanish is BEYOND terrible. I know how to say, “Hello,” “Thank you,” “I’m sorry,” “How much?,” “Where is the bathroom?,” “One more drink please,” 😉 and “I don’t speak Spanish.” 😛

                  To all: I’ve been to Spanish-speaking regions of Mexico at LEAST about ten times in the past few years – I’ve tried SO hard to pick up the language but it just doesn’t take beyond a few phrases. One funny/horrible moment was when I was staying in a hotel with a pool and decided to go swimming at night. The person cleaning the pool was trying to tell me I couldn’t swim. I eventually got their point, but in the meantime I started slipping into FRENCH when trying to talk to them, which I took about a thousand years ago in middle school and high school! I try SO hard to not be a “stupid U.S. tourist” but I sometimes slip into that role despite my best efforts. 🙁

                  I only said “imperialist” (and I’m NOT trying to argue semantics, Yotomoe!) because so much of the Americas has been invaded and “re-named” by European countries who committed genocide against the native people. (Note: my field is NOT history, so anyone and everyone please correct me on anything I’ve got wrong!) However, IIRC, the only reason we called the Indigenous peoples of what is now the U.S. and Central America “Indians” is because Columbus got horribly confused while trying to get to India. The term “America(s)” comes from the Italian explorer Amerigo Vespucci. At leat in my part of the U.S., we have renamed a lot of things based upon the experience of the British invaders (Salem, Plymouth, Worcester, Hull, New York, etc.) and even the Indigenous names that have remained (such as the Merrimac River in Massachusetts) have no remembered meaning behind them.

                  Okay, I probably am getting pretty “serious” here. Full disclosure: I’m a white omnisexual cisgender woman who has lived her entire life in the Northeast U.S. I’m trying hard to learn more and unpack my privilege so I don’t disrespect or offend others.

              • Hellespont
                Hellespont
                July 11, 2017 at 1:26 am | #

                Ice Hockey is an American game.
                Jai Alai is an American game. Damn cool one as well. So fast and athletic.
                Lacrosse is an American game. We had to play that in high school in Australia. I was awful and almost decapitated a bunch of people before being sent to a different sport.

                • Needfuldoer
                  Needfuldoer
                  July 11, 2017 at 3:08 am | #

                  Was it awful because you almost decapitated a bunch of people, or because you almost decapitated a bunch of people?

                • Hellespont
                  Hellespont
                  July 11, 2017 at 4:39 am | #

                  @Needfuldoer Lol (literally) love the way your mind works.

          • Hellespont
            Hellespont
            July 11, 2017 at 1:42 am | #

            @Jaime Off to Google “Turtle Island”. That does sound cool.

            Most of the Suthern Hemisphere is called Gondwana, as in Gondwanan Distribution. It is named after one of the few parts of a supercontinent that predates Pangea that ended up in the Northern Hemisphere. I have always found that ironic,

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      July 11, 2017 at 1:29 am | #

      Is the hockey you’re talking about field hockey?

      • Hellespont
        Hellespont
        July 11, 2017 at 1:44 am | #

        Never heard of it, so I don’t think so.

        Only hockey and its derivations, Ice hockey and street hockey. Although I assume some people have tried to play it on horses, but I think that is called polo.

        • Jaime
          Jaime
          July 11, 2017 at 1:57 am | #

          Field hockey was a MAJOR sport in my high school (in New England), but only played by young women. The joke around the school was that field hockey was much more dangerous and violent than (U.S.) football, which girls weren’t allowed to play when I was in high school!

          I never played field hockey but took gym class with some young women who did and, seriously, they were INCREDIBLY fast and and strong and intimidating. 😳

          • Hellespont
            Hellespont
            July 11, 2017 at 2:35 am | #

            Yep, teenage girl saved my life on a hockey field. A ball was coming straight at my head, she just stepped between me and the ball and put her hand out. She moved so fast and the ball stopped dead.

            • Hellespont
              Hellespont
              July 11, 2017 at 2:54 am | #

              Hockey is so hardcore it was banned in Ireland in the 1500s

          • Hellespon
            Hellespon
            July 11, 2017 at 2:38 am | #

            Hockey is so hardcore it was banned in Ireland in the 1500s

          • ValdVin
            ValdVin
            July 11, 2017 at 4:54 am | #

            (Not asking your age but) Was that before headgear for HS athletes in several sports became mandatory?

            My nephew played lacrosse in HS recently and was grateful for the helmet.

          • Ferdinand Rosenthal
            Ferdinand Rosenthal
            July 11, 2017 at 1:55 pm | #

            Jaime, about introducing yourself, a easier way to do it would be ‘I”m from the U-S’, wouldn’t it?

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          July 11, 2017 at 1:59 am | #

          It’s the hockey that was invented in England. Whether or not field hockey or ice hockey is just called ‘hockey’ depends where you live and which is more prominent.

          • Jaime
            Jaime
            July 11, 2017 at 2:22 am | #

            I’m not even going to TALK about cricket. (Krikkit?)

            😜

            • Hellespont
              Hellespont
              July 11, 2017 at 2:28 am | #

              There was. Douglas Adams book based on a script he wrote called “Doctor Who and the Krikkitmen”

              • Bucket
                Bucket
                July 11, 2017 at 8:10 am | #

                “Life, The Universe, and Everything”

                • Hellespont
                  Hellespont
                  July 11, 2017 at 8:58 am | #

                  Bingo

          • Hellespont
            Hellespont
            July 11, 2017 at 2:23 am | #

            Nah, that is just what Americans tell themselves to legitimise Ice Hockey. Hockey is hockey, always has been.

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              July 11, 2017 at 2:25 am | #

              Funny you say that considering both started being played around the same time.

              • Hellespont
                Hellespont
                July 11, 2017 at 2:33 am | #

                No they didn’t

                • foamy
                  foamy
                  July 11, 2017 at 2:56 am | #

                  https://xkcd.com/169/

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  July 11, 2017 at 3:28 am | #

                  Both are 19th century games, with predecessors from much earlier. The first club for field hockey was established in the 1840s and ice hockey was first organized in the 1870s, with the use of the term ‘hockey’ for a stick-and-ball game being played in Canada, sometimes on ice, being established in 1773.

                  Also, when a Canadian or American in the Northern US refers to hockey, in my experience, they’re near exclusively referring to ice hockey, so yes, it does depend on where you live. If you come around here and only refer to ‘hockey’ and expect people to understand it as ‘field hockey’ you’ll likely be disappointed.

                • Hellespont
                  Hellespont
                  July 11, 2017 at 4:41 am | #

                  Incorrect.

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  July 11, 2017 at 12:13 pm | #

                  Since you addressed the dates down below, I’m guessing you’re talking about whether or not people refer to ice hockey as hockey in which case I’m just gonna say that you are wrong.

                • Hellespont
                  Hellespont
                  July 11, 2017 at 12:28 pm | #

                  Nah, since I have lived in the US for over a decade, I already know that is wishful thinking. I didn’t even bother to address it.

                  Despite all the put downs you lot indulge in, and all the “libretard” and “redneck” name calling, most Americans are reasonably intelligent people more than capable of understanding and coping with context. Present company excluded, of course.

                • BBCC
                  BBCC
                  July 11, 2017 at 12:33 pm | #

                  Where in the US, if you don’t mind my asking? Because in the places in the US I’ve been to it was generally understood ‘hockey’ was referring to ‘ice hockey’ and I’ve lived in Canada my entire life where it’s definitely near exclusively just called hockey.

                • thejeff
                  thejeff
                  July 11, 2017 at 2:37 pm | #

                  And perhaps even more relevantly, any place it was misunderstood, the confusion is easily cleared up with a laugh and a quick explanation rather than about how Americans (meaning US & Canada, but likely not more southerly Americans) are wrong and must accept that you were right and must use your definition.

            • Hellespont
              Hellespont
              July 11, 2017 at 5:33 am | #

              Sorry bout that, had to do some earning.

              Okay, by your logic, which seems to be games spontaneously appear only when organised groups and standardised rules are set: hockey predates soccer, boxing and chess, which are all 19th Century English games or sports. Nothing there I would agree with, but we are just following your logic here.

              Ice Hockey appeared a decade to several decades after all of these, still hardly “at the same time”.

              • BBCC
                BBCC
                July 11, 2017 at 12:29 pm | #

                First of all, I did acknowledge that there are a lot of precursors for both. Second, yeah, I’m going by when organized groups and standardized rules come into play, because that’s generally where, in my experience, the sport’s considered to have started professionally. In which case I’d point out that Greece has had boxing for far longer and modern chess started being developed in the 1200s in Italy and Spain. Third, I said ‘around’ the same time, meaning a similar-isa period of time – but that’s my fault for not clarifying.

            • Emily
              Emily
              July 11, 2017 at 8:48 am | #

              Jesus Christ guy you need to chill with the smugness it’s just fucking sportsball nobody cares.

    • Hellespont
      Hellespont
      July 11, 2017 at 9:13 am | #

      Ice Hockey is one of the few American games I never got into. Watching it is like watching a bunch of oversized, badly decorated wedding cakes sitting, unsecured in the back of a large truck.

      As opposed to real hockey, which is fast moving and is a lot of fun to watch.

      Have a nice day everyone. Mine is done. I probably won’t be able to indulge you quite as much tomorrow.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      July 12, 2017 at 3:11 pm | #

      There is no such thing as “ice hockey”. It is just hockey, all other versions are variants.

  19. Keulan
    Keulan
    July 11, 2017 at 12:29 am | #

    I can understand not wanting to get up in the mornings. Freaking morning people suck.

  20. miados
    miados
    July 11, 2017 at 12:30 am | #

    i can’t relate to ruth here. I have never liked sports and the only reason i liked when my dad forced me to go to college sports was because tailgaters always had amazing food to eat.

  21. Dellaran
    Dellaran
    July 11, 2017 at 12:49 am | #

    What do you call Ruth + Billie + the Leafs?

    Two girls, no Cup.

    • ValdVin
      ValdVin
      July 11, 2017 at 4:57 am | #

      That deserves to be the alt-alt-text. Seriously funny.

      • Hellespont
        Hellespont
        July 11, 2017 at 6:18 am | #

        Oh and thanks for the Uke info VladVin, cleared up a lot.

        • ValdVin
          ValdVin
          July 11, 2017 at 8:23 am | #

          Hey, certainly, but don’t thank me, thank the brave folks who actually carry ukes out in the real world and write about it.

          I’m working on my introversion so I can play my guitar in front of my family. Really.

          • Hellespont
            Hellespont
            July 11, 2017 at 9:15 am | #

            Having no musical or artistic ability, I would settle for being able to play alone, at home.

            Congratulations for getting to the point where that is an option.

    • Hellespont
      Hellespont
      July 11, 2017 at 5:55 am | #

      What VladVin said.

  22. Mojo
    Mojo
    July 11, 2017 at 12:50 am | #

    You’re gonna burn my team like that, I expect to get some hate sex myself.

  23. Bagge
    Bagge
    July 11, 2017 at 12:56 am | #

    Come on, Billie. Work for your hate sex.

  24. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    July 11, 2017 at 1:01 am | #

    My sympathies to Ruth. I’m on a new pill for an attentional disorder so I’m feeling a bit rickety.

    Back to work with me.

  25. (((Mkvenner)))
    (((Mkvenner)))
    July 11, 2017 at 1:02 am | #

    If the cubs can win the world series then the leafs can win the Stanley cup.

    • The Mad Academic
      The Mad Academic
      July 11, 2017 at 1:13 am | #

      They’re finally on track. I have faith in their current team. Even the recent investments aren’t part of their old pattern of “buying a cup.” since they’re relatively short term investments that can give their young players needed veteran stability.

  26. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    July 11, 2017 at 1:13 am | #

    Billie, you know better than that.

    You get hate sex by WEARING Leafs products, not mocking them.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      July 11, 2017 at 1:23 am | #

      All I know is that the second shoe has not yet dropped from THIS strip
      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/favoritesportsteam/

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        July 11, 2017 at 8:21 am | #

        What would ever happen in DofA if the Leafs win the real championship before the comic’s timeline reaches June? Could Ruth stand to be that happy?

        • Bagge
          Bagge
          July 11, 2017 at 9:31 am | #

          Lots and lots of sex.

          • Reltzik
            Reltzik
            July 11, 2017 at 12:34 pm | #

            ….. isn’t that what’s happening anyway?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      July 11, 2017 at 1:24 am | #

      How would that get her HATE sex.

      Sounds like that’d just get her sex.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        July 11, 2017 at 1:29 am | #

        Well if Ruth hates the Leafs…

  27. The Mad Academic
    The Mad Academic
    July 11, 2017 at 1:14 am | #

    If I were Ruth, I’d have hidden under the covers and ignored Billie. But that’s simply how my depression affects me.

  28. Antonio Tyler
    Antonio Tyler
    July 11, 2017 at 1:15 am | #

    This is why I don’t hang up my own artwork.

    • Hellespont
      Hellespont
      July 11, 2017 at 3:06 am | #

      Because it has never won an award? Sod that, hang it and rub it in the faces of people like me that can’t draw water, let alone make tha artz

      • DonDueed
        DonDueed
        July 11, 2017 at 5:18 am | #

        In my experience, there are a lot of actual artists who can’t draw water.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          July 11, 2017 at 7:48 am | #

          Water’s tricky.

          • Pablo360
            Pablo360
            July 11, 2017 at 11:18 am | #

            It has so many ripples and reflections and refractions. It’s taunting us.

  29. Kitschensyngk
    Kitschensyngk
    July 11, 2017 at 1:25 am | #

    Would it depress her more if it were a Montreal Canadiens poster?

  30. Danni
    Danni
    July 11, 2017 at 1:36 am | #

    billie hasnt asked the important question: do you want a blanket?

  31. darkoneko
    darkoneko
    July 11, 2017 at 1:46 am | #

    nice try tho

  32. DrWattson
    DrWattson
    July 11, 2017 at 1:58 am | #

    While I love joking about the Leafs, I’m a Wild fan. You know, a team that has never made it to a championship. Glass houses, I know.

    • foamy
      foamy
      July 11, 2017 at 3:07 am | #

      That’s okay, Vancouver hasn’t either and neither Calgary nor Edmonton has since before your team existed, but you don’t see us pausing in our mockery, do you?

      • Bicycle Bill
        Bicycle Bill
        July 11, 2017 at 3:17 am | #

        Minnesota has the Wild only because some scheisser named Norm Green picked up Minnesota’s original franchise (the North Stars) and hauled them off to Texas in 1993.

        • Bucket
          Bucket
          July 11, 2017 at 7:58 am | #

          At least Minnesota has the Wild. I grew up around Hartford. The Whalers ran off to North Carolina and never were replaced (with another NHL franchise).

          • ValdVin
            ValdVin
            July 11, 2017 at 8:25 am | #

            The composer of Brass Bonanza passed away recently.

            It was the top story in all of CT media except for southern Fairfield County (aka we’re trying to be New York).

            http://www.courant.com/breaking-news/hc-jack-say-brass-bonanza-obit-20170710-story.html

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          July 12, 2017 at 3:15 pm | #

          Never understood why they didn’t reuse the North Stars name.

  33. chris73
    chris73
    July 11, 2017 at 2:16 am | #

    Whenever I’ve watched Ice Hockey I’ve always thought its a bit of a joke. All the aggression sure but with so much padding

    Now Rugby (union or league) is a real sport played by real men and women

    • foamy
      foamy
      July 11, 2017 at 3:36 am | #

      They wear the padding for a reason: hockey players move a hell of a lot faster than rugby players, the puck can break a hundred miles an hour and there’s a dude whose whole job is to get hit by it, and everybody on the ice is carrying a club.

      Not to dunk on rugby, but hockey combines the best attributes of a lot of sports. Fast, flowing, physical, and often downright beautiful.

    • foamy
      foamy
      July 11, 2017 at 3:37 am | #

      Oh, and also two blades per. Go look up Malarchuk and Zednik to see what can happen when those find something unprotected.

    • A Scientist
      A Scientist
      July 11, 2017 at 3:55 am | #

      The point of the pads is at least as much to protect players from the ice and the puck and skates and sticks as it is to protect them from each other. Yeah, guys shoulder tackle each other in rugby, but the ground is dirt and grass, which is a lot softer than ice, and there are no weapons in players’ hands, and the projectile in rugby isn’t going to shatter bones, but it absolutely will (and does) in hockey.

      But it certainly does also matter that top speed in hockey is like 35 mph, versus like 20-ish in rugby. Those impacts are far more violent, if also far less frequent.

      • chris73
        chris73
        July 11, 2017 at 4:05 am | #

        Theres also a lot less remonstrating with the ref and when the players occasionally have a fight (its a physical game after all) it actually means something

        I mean how do you take a sport seriously that has Goons

        • foamy
          foamy
          July 11, 2017 at 4:10 am | #

          Was the “ice hockey” you watched called “Slapshot” by any chance?

        • Emily
          Emily
          July 11, 2017 at 8:52 am | #

          How do you take sports so seriously at all? It’s a game I don’t understand the point of this silly one-upsmanship about which one is more needlessly brutal.

      • Kamino Neko
        Kamino Neko
        July 11, 2017 at 4:08 am | #

        the projectile in rugby isn’t going to shatter bones, but it absolutely will (and does) in hockey.

        And not just the players. There’s a reason the glass is so tall at hockey arenas…but spectators still occasionally take a puck to the face, and the result is never pretty.

        • foamy
          foamy
          July 11, 2017 at 4:12 am | #

          They also have netting around the ends, these days, after a young girl was hit in the head with a puck in a Flames-Blue Jackets game.

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Brittanie_Cecil

          You know what’s really crazy though? Back in the day goalies played without masks. The mind boggles.

      • Halpful
        Halpful
        July 11, 2017 at 4:18 am | #

        I agree with all that, but you reminded me of something: when I was in high school, rugby games were almost never cancelled due to weather. I’ve played rugby in snow, on fields of frost or slush or ice-cold water. One time it was so bad we had to warm up in the shower before we could get our socks off. My feet have had strange opinions on temperature ever since.

        At the time we liked to make fun of the american-football players’ padding, but in hindsight it seems questionable to be sending kids out there without even a helmet.

        • foamy
          foamy
          July 11, 2017 at 4:30 am | #

          American football players wear that armour because if they didn’t, they’d literally kill each other. It happened all the time back at the beginning of the 20th century. Even with all that gear the concussions are a major health issue, plus all the damage that can be done to bones and tendons.

          As far as playing in poor conditions goes, though, I give you the Canadian Football League:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zewJyhRkUio

          :v

          • ValdVin
            ValdVin
            July 11, 2017 at 8:13 am | #

            The gear, especially the helmets, are finally being redesigned for some more protection against CTE. However, it’s not a complete solution.

            PS Thanks to you I’ve just spent an hour plus watching CFL history on Youtube. That includes this Tabbies’ FG attempt blocked by the wind.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_pGf8A1Tkg

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              July 12, 2017 at 3:18 pm | #

              Did you enjoy the part where Saskatchewan lost the cup because they couldn’t count?

      • Hellespont
        Hellespont
        July 11, 2017 at 4:49 am | #

        Impact speed is only an issue in ice hockey.

        Speed is not the issue in rugby. Being stopped dead by two other players. Picked up. Flung to the ground. Repeat ad nauseum. Much more brutal. Only sheer athleticism and professional skill prevents fatalities.

        • foamy
          foamy
          July 11, 2017 at 5:00 am | #

          Incorrect.

    • Hellespont
      Hellespont
      July 11, 2017 at 4:52 am | #

      I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but…

      Except for the helmet, padding is pretty similar for both rugby and grid iron. Mouth guards, shoulder, chest and back protection are the very similar. Only the extremities are uncovered to preserve the free flowing power of the sport.

  34. Aprion
    Aprion
    July 11, 2017 at 2:33 am | #

    A for effort though.

  35. Ronnie
    Ronnie
    July 11, 2017 at 2:38 am | #

    I knew what the alt-text was gonna say before I read it. Why am I so proud of that.

  36. A Scientist
    A Scientist
    July 11, 2017 at 3:50 am | #

    This comment section needs a Phil Kessel reference.

    You know, that guy the Leafs traded away because they couldn’t win a Cup with him, just in time for him to win two straight Cups. 🙂

    • Neeks
      Neeks
      July 11, 2017 at 7:09 am | #

      I’ve always thought it was super shitty of the media to refer to him as “a cancer in the locker room” considering he’s a cancer survivor.

      • Neeks
        Neeks
        July 11, 2017 at 7:13 am | #

        Also a Maple Leafs survivor now, come to think of it.

        That being said as an Arizona native I’m sort of obligated to root for the Leafs on some level because of Auston Matthews.

        THAT being said, in America we don’t say “I love you,” we say “Phil Kessel is a two-time Stanley Cup Champion” and I think that’s beautiful.

        • A Scientist
          A Scientist
          July 12, 2017 at 1:43 am | #

          They made up the hot dog story about him, too, but he’s embraced it as a hilarious meme since then. But Phil Kessel is a Stanley Cup Champion is my favorite meme.

          • Neeks
            Neeks
            July 12, 2017 at 6:42 am | #

            God bless Steve Dangle for getting Sidney Crosby in on it.

  37. Halpful
    Halpful
    July 11, 2017 at 4:00 am | #

    Fart captor, foamy, etc: *hugs* thank you for making words while I was dealing with my inner Ruby and Sapphire offline 🙂 words are still hard but I’m somewhat back together.

  38. Andy
    Andy
    July 11, 2017 at 7:00 am | #

    …can we stop mocking the Leads for how long they’ve gone without a championship? You’re hitting Blues fans like me as collateral damage

  39. 3-I
    3-I
    July 11, 2017 at 8:33 am | #

    I really really love these two. Full stop.

  40. AustSakuraKyzor
    AustSakuraKyzor
    July 11, 2017 at 11:16 am | #

    I doubt Ruth’s grandfather was born the last time the Leafs were a good team

  41. Capn_Owl
    Capn_Owl
    July 11, 2017 at 11:29 am | #

    Anyone else thinking of Avalon High?

  42. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    July 11, 2017 at 12:36 pm | #

    Okay, serious question time. Is this a legit sign that Ruth’s new anti-depressant isn’t working for her and she needs her dosage/prescription rejiggered?

    • 3-I
      3-I
      July 11, 2017 at 1:23 pm | #

      Pills aren’t a magic bullet, sadly. Recovery and continued languishing can look very very similar, because there is no overnight cure for depression.

    • Pidgey
      Pidgey
      July 11, 2017 at 1:28 pm | #

      This might be a rambling reply. I’m super tired and loopy.
      She’s only been on them for a short time. Most anti-depressants take a while to level off. And they don’t completely remove depression and sadness. She’s still having to deal with drama and depressing things. Plus being around people again, probably being super tense at them knowing about her depression and her relationship would be super emotionally and physically draining.
      My best guess is drained and depressed, though whether it’s as all consuming as before is hard to tell, adjusting to meds and actually exhausted.
      People need extra support during the adjustment to meds. My doc offered me extra meds and ordered me to call my parents every day in the first month of my meds (I told my doc they make me happy).

    • Sam
      Sam
      July 11, 2017 at 1:50 pm | #

      Since she has been on it for less than even a week I think, no. It takes at least a week for any effects to start at all and it takes at least 4-8 weeks for it to take full effect depending on the exact antidepressant. This is likely just the depression still eating her energy because the antidepressant hasn’t stolen its femurs yet.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      July 11, 2017 at 4:45 pm | #

      No, it’s been less than a week – anti-depressants don’t work that fast. There was certainly a situational aspect to her bottoming out, which just the act of getting help should have helped with, but the underlying clinical depression would still be there.

      And even the situational improvement has certainly been kicked out from under her by Sir’s actions and Rachel’s rant, and probably the situation with Amber, and maybe even Mary’s cheerfulness, if she’s noticed that.

  43. Dandi_Andi
    Dandi_Andi
    July 11, 2017 at 4:22 pm | #

    I feel Ruth’s pain. I’m a St. Louis Blues fan. We’re tied for the longest cupless streak in the league. I do wonder who will break the streak first and if I’ll be alive to see it.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      July 11, 2017 at 4:52 pm | #

      At least you got to play for it for your first three seasons. The Leafs haven’t even managed that since last time they won.

  44. Ed Rhodes
    Ed Rhodes
    July 11, 2017 at 8:02 pm | #

    The fact that she’s in the costume makes me wonder if she’d been watching a game today and they just lost. If I cared about sports, that would make me take a nap!

  45. Jak Snow
    Jak Snow
    July 11, 2017 at 10:52 pm | #

    Every time I get a NHL game I always play as the Leafs… I just want them to win…

  46. Sarah-2
    Sarah-2
    July 11, 2017 at 11:53 pm | #

    Billy is a true college kid, her clothes never match xD

  47. Orion Fury
    Orion Fury
    July 12, 2017 at 12:32 am | #

    Challenge accepted.

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CONVENTION APPEARANCES


May 3, 2025 - FCBD @ Laughing Ogre Comics in Columbus, Ohio

David M Willis! avatar
David M Willis!
@damnyouwillis.bsky.social
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 5h
dawn these are not the same things you had an abusive boyfriend wilbur had a live-in sex stranger who he chose over your safety because he was getting laid, until the moment something almost happened to HIS GOLDFISH
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 6h
Dumbing of Age: "Counter-protest" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
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Counter-protest
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 7h
(June 19, 2026)
It's Joyce!  Directing our attention leftwards!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 8h
yeah maybe joyce switching to paramore from dc talk last storyline was a good move variety.com/2025/music/n...
header image - Hayley Williams Hopes Christian Music Industry ‘Crumbles’ Amid Michael Tait Scandal: ‘F— All of You Who Knew and Didn’t Say Anything’
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Hayley Williams Hopes Christian Music Industry ‘Crumbles’ Amid Michael Tait Scandal: ‘F— All of You Who Knew and Didn’t Say Anything’
Paramore singer Hayley Williams has reacted angrily to news of accusations against Christian music star Michael Tait, saying, 'I hope the CCM industry crumbles.'
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DaisyFM ✒︎ @daisyfm.net ⋅ 13h
I think it's been long enough that we should all be able to agree that Charles Martinet sounds nothing like what Mario is supposed to sound like.
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david malki ! 🔩 New game! BOLTED 🔩 @davidmalki.com ⋅ 10h
The universe told me "Stop obsessively collecting 19th century illustrations. Here. Now you have plenty. You are done now. Go do the second half of your deal, where you make more things out of them"
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Wack'd @wackd.bsky.social ⋅ 12h
oh this is a hot take and i'm extremely here for it
daisyfm.net's user avatarDaisyFM ✒︎ @daisyfm.net ⋅ 13h
I think it's been long enough that we should all be able to agree that Charles Martinet sounds nothing like what Mario is supposed to sound like.
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 12h
www.ebay.com/itm/23614976... bid on my HFTD Leader Class Starscream!
header image - Transformers Hunt for the Decepticons Leader Class ROTF Starscream, complete 653569490937| eBay
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Transformers Hunt for the Decepticons Leader Class ROTF Starscream, complete 653569490937| eBay
Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Transformers Hunt for the Decepticons Leader Class ROTF Starscream, complete at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many pro...
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 17h
YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!!!!!1
preternia.com's user avatarpreternia @preternia.com ⋅ 19h
Lava surfing action!
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 18h
that's not why i go to taco bell, taco bell
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 19h
www.ebay.com/itm/23614937... selling my dotm voyager megatron $15 BIN, just to get it outta here
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Tea Berry-Blue @teaberryblue.net ⋅ 21h
Okay so people apparently love this one so I’ll tell it again: I was walking down the street in Hell’s Kitchen back when Daniel Radcliffe was performing in Equus on Broadway, when I see him on the street. The thing is, I recognize him, remember his name is Dan, COMPLETELY blank on why I know him.
bolt451.bsky.social's user avatarHunter S Schafer @bolt451.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 20h
today in #9chickweedlane i learned that by god we are going to rewrite and rewrite and rewrite amos/edda's courtship until they are holding each others' hands directly out of their respective wombs
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Tyler, from the Internet @tylerjameshill.com ⋅ 1d
Republicans: WE NOMINATE SKELETOR Democrats: We dislike Skeletor but we will vote to confirm him. Please give us between 5 and 50 dollars. Democrats: I stand before you to condemn the actions of Skeletor. He should have never been given this power. Please give me between 5 and 50 dollars.
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Shen Comix @shenanigansen.bsky.social ⋅ 21h
01: Shen is happily showing a dark brown haired guy a comic that he's holding in his hands. He says
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 21h
crankshaft doing important public work showing us how staff picks happen, blowing this nepotistic corruption right the fuck open
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
"...fuck no"
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 1d
Dumbing of Age: "Remake" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomics #webcomic
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Remake
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 5d
www.makeship.com/petitions/tr... Wanna Tricerahoodie Dina plush? GO PLEDGE FOR ONE! We need 200 people to make it happen! Pledge period will end in 10 days!
header image - Tricerahoodie Dina Plushie
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Tricerahoodie Dina Plushie
Dina is so small and quiet that she goes completely unnoticed by most people for long stretches of time. She doesn’t talk much — she prefers to observe. People and how they interact is a puzzle to Din...
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Mel Brooks @officialmelbrooks.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
I told you we’d be back
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
"Remember when we could only use cash in the vending machines?" "Yeah, how primitive, ha ha! ... and imagine being older than every candy bar brand in this thing! I mean, I'm young, like you."
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
sophianyx.bsky.social's user avatarSophia_Nyx 🏳️‍⚧️ @sophianyx.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Without saying Terminator 2, fav Arnold Schwarzenegger Film?
older white guy in a grey suit rests a hand on his chin wearing a big gold watch short brown hair. hot.
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🎄 Barb O. Saur 🎄🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 @brentosaur.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Happy Pride/Wrath month, post your favorite LGBTQIA+ character.
Cover for the Unstoppable Gwenpool.
onua-ryder.neocities.org's user avatar💎Onyx | 🐉Emerald | 💀Obsidian 🏳️‍⚧️ 🔞 @onua-ryder.neocities.org ⋅ 3d
Happy Pride/Wrath month, post your favorite LGBTQIA+ character
Kamen Rider Bravo in full spiky green and silver armor.
Oren Pierre Alfonzo, who wears the Bravo armor, looking femme AF.
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Barred and Boujee and NEWLYWED aka Madiba Dennie @audrelawdamercy.bsky.social ⋅ 4m
Need a white guy to walk confidently into a federal building and delete all the student loans files
bencollins.bsky.social's user avatarTim Onion @bencollins.bsky.social ⋅ 4m
So you can just say you work at DOGE and pillage anything from our documents you want. The law truly doesn't exist anymore! Cool!
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3 men claiming to be from DOGE show up at San Francisco City Hall, demand records
San Francisco city officials are investigating after three men who claimed to be from the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) showed up at City Hall on Friday demanding records from offices bef...
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
www.ebay.com/itm/23614109... One hour left for these two
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
Dumbing of Age: "Actual laundry" www.dumbingofage.com/2025/comic/b... #webcomic #webcomics
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Actual laundry
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David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
NICE www.makeship.com/petitions/tr...
damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatarDavid M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 5d
www.makeship.com/petitions/tr... Wanna Tricerahoodie Dina plush? GO PLEDGE FOR ONE! We need 200 people to make it happen! Pledge period will end in 10 days!
header image - Tricerahoodie Dina Plushie
www.makeship.com
Tricerahoodie Dina Plushie
Dina is so small and quiet that she goes completely unnoticed by most people for long stretches of time. She doesn’t talk much — she prefers to observe. People and how they interact is a puzzle to Din...
2
19
 
reposted by David M Willis!
wolf.observer's user avatar
atomicthumbs ✅ @wolf.observer ⋅ 3d
3 panel LOTR
legal.reuters.com's user avatarReuters Legal @legal.reuters.com ⋅ 3d
Walt Disney and Comcast's Universal filed a copyright lawsuit against Midjourney on Wednesday, calling its popular AI-powered image generator a "bottomless pit of plagiarism" for its use of the studios' best-known characters.
header image - Disney, Universal sue image creator Midjourney for copyright infringement
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Disney, Universal sue image creator Midjourney for copyright infringement
Walt Disney and Comcast's Universal filed a copyright lawsuit against Midjourney on Wednesday, calling its popular AI-powered image generator a "bottomless pit of plagiarism" for its use of the studios' best-known characters.
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 2d
climb into the shower vagina
lebowski76.bsky.social's user avatarthe_dude @lebowski76.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
I have NO words
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damnyouwillis.bsky.social's user avatar
David M Willis! @damnyouwillis.bsky.social ⋅ 3d
Guess if they were gonna start remaking anybody in Studio Series it'd start with this guy. (Earlier version lightly Sharpied)
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