Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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the cat came back / you thought he was a goner but
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June 14, 2026

Schoolday

by David M Willis on February 11, 2018 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Faz Is Great
└ Tags: amber, faz

Discussion (164) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    February 11, 2018 at 12:03 am | #

    Faz is completely aware of how punchlines work best by not explaining the joke

    here is a graph that proves it

    it has up-ness!

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      February 11, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      So has his penis.

      Here is another graph that correlates the previous graph to his penis.

      • Rezby
        Rezby
        February 11, 2018 at 12:07 am | #

        Not this time! P sure he’s a minor and thus going to be very oblivious, in true faz fashion, how things actually work.

        • tirachokko
          tirachokko
          February 11, 2018 at 12:20 am | #

          Don’t know about that, given that he’s read plenty of guides on how to woo women apparently already

          • Dean
            Dean
            February 11, 2018 at 1:29 am | #

            Internet guides, though.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              February 11, 2018 at 11:02 am | #

              PUA guides, apparently. So he certainly doesn’t know how things actually work, but he’s certain he does. Which is true Faz fashion.
              Which is why he has a graph correlating the upness of the graph to the upness of his penis.

              • Ryek Hvek
                Ryek Hvek
                February 11, 2018 at 11:13 am | #

                everything Faz needs to know was there in the assembly instructions for various toy kits, such as “Insert Tab A into Slot B”

                • thejeff
                  thejeff
                  February 11, 2018 at 1:45 pm | #

                  Repeat if necessary.

    • DSL
      DSL
      February 11, 2018 at 9:06 am | #

      Faz is not bound by rules of joke telling. Faz disregards deleterious effects of explantion upon his humorousness.

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    February 11, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Stairs or no, that was remarkably fast. Maybe it’s like that Droopy cartoon, and there’s actually more than one Faz.

    That may be the scariest thought I have ever had.

    • Kitanin
      Kitanin
      February 11, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      Truly, he is a multi-faz-eted annoyance.

    • Yumi
      Yumi
      February 11, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

      Depends on how long panel 4 went on for.

    • foamy
      foamy
      February 11, 2018 at 12:24 am | #

      Northwest Hounded Police, yeah?

    • Lokitsu
      Lokitsu
      February 11, 2018 at 1:14 am | #

      Doctor: that’s a Faz-inating theory.

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      February 11, 2018 at 4:54 am | #

      Ah, so you’re saying three versions of Faz from different times all somehow ended up in one time and place? It’s one of those episodes.

      • DinaWho
        DinaWho
        February 11, 2018 at 10:09 am | #

        At least they aren’t fragmented throughout time and trying to steal the Mona Lisa.

    • someone
      someone
      February 11, 2018 at 5:34 am | #

      When the Faz enters the campus, Amber begins to lose patience. Let me use this example: Imagine four Fazes in the dorm stairways. Say a direct copy of the Faz nearest the corridor is sent to the back of the line of Fazes and takes the place of the first Faz. The formerly first Faz becomes the second, the second becomes the third, and the fourth gets shoved in the elevator.

      Faz works the same way.

    • BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
      BrokenEye, the True False Prophet
      February 11, 2018 at 6:06 am | #

      Or *Illuminatus!*, where John Dillinger turns out to be five identical quintuplets, four of which remain active under assumed names after “his” arrest (and one of which may or may not have assassinated John F. Kennedy)

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        February 11, 2018 at 7:57 am | #

        Oh come on, everyone knows the Zodiac Killer’s dad was the one on the grassy knoll that day.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          February 11, 2018 at 11:05 am | #

          Probably. If I recall Illuminatus! correctly, there were 4 or 5 different people shooting at Kennedy.
          All conspiracy theories are true.

          “Lie down on the floor and keep calm.”

  3. JetstreamGW
    JetstreamGW
    February 11, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    That’s… uh…

  4. Keulen
    Keulen
    February 11, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Holy shit, this just supports my theory that Faz can teleport.

    • Dave
      Dave
      February 11, 2018 at 7:39 pm | #

      Or that the stairs are very close to the elevator.

  5. Bagge
    Bagge
    February 11, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Faz is magical.

    So are bog trolls, so sure, why not.

  6. Haven
    Haven
    February 11, 2018 at 12:04 am | #

    Same.

  7. laladoria
    laladoria
    February 11, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    No, Faz. Please. Ignore the chapter title and just go home.

  8. Ned
    Ned
    February 11, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    “He wouldn’t stay away”

    • Lux
      Lux
      February 11, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

      I had completely forgotten about that song until now.

    • foamy
      foamy
      February 11, 2018 at 12:20 am | #

      But nobody thought he was a goner 🙁

      • TachyonCode
        TachyonCode
        February 11, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

        I was hoping.

    • Cass
      Cass
      February 11, 2018 at 3:02 am | #

      Hopefully trying to get rid of Faz will have a lower body count than ditching the cat.

  9. Serenityneko
    Serenityneko
    February 11, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    Shrödinger’s Faz??

    • Ned
      Ned
      February 11, 2018 at 12:37 am | #

      Heh. Because of the cat song…

    • adjudicus
      adjudicus
      February 11, 2018 at 5:06 am | #

      “Faz’s penis is both simultaneously inside and outside of you”

  10. Danni
    Danni
    February 11, 2018 at 12:05 am | #

    why wont faz go away?

    • ZerglingOne
      ZerglingOne
      February 11, 2018 at 12:26 am | #

      I’d guess because he’s run away and has no good way of expressing himself to Amber that he hates life.

  11. Inahc
    Inahc
    February 11, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    …but the cat came back, he just wouldn’t stay awaaaay! 🙂

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      February 11, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

      and in case anyone doesn’t know the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVH3DzrseWs

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      February 11, 2018 at 10:13 am | #

      I always preferred this version —
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Du0hKucI-7w

    • leadsynth
      leadsynth
      February 11, 2018 at 9:58 pm | #

      and I thought I was the only one who knew that song. But that’s Willis’ uncanny ability to dredge up stuff from my youth.

  12. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    February 11, 2018 at 12:06 am | #

    It’s a shame the elevator had a car in it. An empty elevator shaft would have been more satisfying.
    *plays “Let’s Go Crazy” on the hacked Muzak*

    • Commentary Ver.2.72
      Commentary Ver.2.72
      February 11, 2018 at 1:23 am | #

      The full song or the radio edit that skips the opening? The radio edit makes me sad.

    • Jamie
      Jamie
      February 11, 2018 at 2:41 am | #

      Well, the stairs don’t have a car in them, probably.

    • Mephron
      Mephron
      February 11, 2018 at 12:52 pm | #

      Unfortunately, I doubt that Faz would take the LA Law Retirement Plan if offered.

      watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mj8FIbuoWPY if you don’t get the reference.

    • HMRC4EVR
      HMRC4EVR
      February 11, 2018 at 3:04 pm | #

      I agree. Let’s ‘L.A. Law’ his ass.

  13. DashingDeinonychus
    DashingDeinonychus
    February 11, 2018 at 12:08 am | #

    So does inexplicable Batmanning just run in the family?

    Hopefully it skips generations and Amber doesn’t have to worry about a Court of Blaines or a Blaine Bane or something.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      February 11, 2018 at 8:01 am | #

      It runs in Faz’s family. We won’t have to worry about Blaine teleporting, but the prospect of Faz’s relatives suddenly appearing around the next corner is almost as scary.

  14. John
    John
    February 11, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

    This is a woman who just a few days ago proved again that she will no-joking cut someone who pisses her off sufficiently. Maybe not the best idea to test exactly where “sufficiently” is, Faz.

    • Some1
      Some1
      February 11, 2018 at 2:21 am | #

      To be fair Ryan had to do a lot of shit to reach that stage. Ryan’s crimes include rape, attempted rape, attempted murder, idk what else. Faz’s crimes include being annoying, being perverted.

      • Ed Rhodes
        Ed Rhodes
        February 11, 2018 at 11:10 am | #

        Also bringing a knife to an Amber fight.

        • Jason
          Jason
          February 11, 2018 at 8:14 pm | #

          He was literally threatening to knife someone and making it clear that Amber was between him and his target, and implying he was happy to go through her.
          I don’t think she was pissed off. Not really. I think “fight or flight” kicked in and came down hard on “fight”- which probably feels to her like anger in hindsight, but thinking back to her face at the time. I didn’t feel like she was rage-fuelled.

      • Fart Captor
        Fart Captor
        February 11, 2018 at 11:17 pm | #

        Yeah… Amber isn’t anywhere nearly as quick to get violent as she believes herself to be, and that fucker had it coming

  15. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    February 11, 2018 at 12:10 am | #

    I now have the urge to dropkick him into Mike’s path and let nature unfold. Although if Amber really wanted to ruin Amazi-girl’s reputation you could break Faz’s arms. Granted that might get Amazi-girl a Nobel prize or Congressional medal considering her luck.

    • Mada
      Mada
      February 11, 2018 at 11:55 am | #

      No please don’t put him in Mike’s path. Faz doesn’t need a teacher to hone his broad-based asshole-ishness.

      • Dave
        Dave
        February 11, 2018 at 7:41 pm | #

        Mike doesn’t take apprentices…nor prisoners for that matter.

      • Formedras
        Formedras
        February 11, 2018 at 11:06 pm | #

        I concur with Dave. Plus, even Mike has his limits, and helping Faz would be far, far beyond them, LT.

      • Billy Baggins
        Billy Baggins
        February 14, 2018 at 10:49 am | #

        Faz isn’t an asshole, he’s a nerdy douche. Very different creatures, though both can be intelligent, but with severe personality issues.

  16. Dean
    Dean
    February 11, 2018 at 12:11 am | #

    Faz is twins, he’s trying to get Amber’s parents back together Parent Trap-style.

  17. EvilMidnightLurker
    EvilMidnightLurker
    February 11, 2018 at 12:13 am | #

    David Willis, please note: There’s some kind of viral mobile phone ad at work on the page.

    • Lunias
      Lunias
      February 11, 2018 at 12:48 am | #

      I got it too!

    • Torra
      Torra
      February 11, 2018 at 3:43 am | #

      I was about to comment the same! I’ve been getting it the last couple of days when I read on my phone

    • SpaceshipPilot
      SpaceshipPilot
      February 11, 2018 at 8:01 am | #

      Been getting the same here.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      February 11, 2018 at 8:06 am | #

      The one that pops up a dialog box that says you’re a winner, and you can’t close it without killing the browser and going into airplane mode? Automatically redirects to some random scam URL like ‘freestuffnotavirus.prize’?

      I see it a lot too, but I’m not sure where it’s coming from.

      Maybe try requesting the ‘desktop version’ of the site? There’s no difference in the content, but maybe that will force your phone browser into identifying itself as a desktop.

      • Ed Rhodes
        Ed Rhodes
        February 11, 2018 at 11:13 am | #

        I’m told going to settings and clearing your history will stop it from coming up, at least until you get hit with it again! There doesn’t seem to be a way to keep it from coming back.

        • Dave
          Dave
          February 12, 2018 at 12:29 am | #

          uBlock helps, it’ll kill (nearly)all the ads on the process.

      • EvilMidnightLurker
        EvilMidnightLurker
        February 11, 2018 at 11:19 pm | #

        That’s the one, and… the desktop trick seems to be working, thanks 🙂

    • Mephron
      Mephron
      February 11, 2018 at 1:00 pm | #

      I reported it to Hiveworks, as I think they help handle the ad networks, and I’ve gotten in on multiple Hiveworks comcs (here, EGS, Between Failures).

  18. Blender
    Blender
    February 11, 2018 at 12:20 am | #

    Wow. That was pretty fazt.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      February 11, 2018 at 12:22 am | #

      Fazcinating

      • Emoroffle
        Emoroffle
        February 11, 2018 at 12:48 am | #

        oh hey nice Kei pic PM, she’s my favorite character in Moyashimon

        • Blender
          Blender
          February 11, 2018 at 1:15 am | #

          Incidentally, Moyashimon is my favorite Digimon.

  19. Geneseepaws
    Geneseepaws
    February 11, 2018 at 12:30 am | #

    He wasn’t there again, today,
    Oh how I wish he’d go away!
    Go away! Go away! And don’t come back any more.
    Go away! Go away! And Please don’t slam the door.

  20. Tacos
    Tacos
    February 11, 2018 at 12:40 am | #

    So will this be a storyline of Amber repeatedly trying to get rid of Faz only for him to come back in a vicious cycle of escalating absurdity?

    • Nico
      Nico
      February 11, 2018 at 5:15 am | #

      That would be an odd parallel to the Leslie-Robin plot.

  21. Nono
    Nono
    February 11, 2018 at 12:49 am | #

    I feel like Howard and Faz would be pretty scary if they teamed up.

    • Danni
      Danni
      February 11, 2018 at 12:57 am | #

      howard would get tired of faz. he’s just an average horny teenage boy. faz is….something else.

      • das-g
        das-g
        February 11, 2018 at 5:56 am | #

        “something else”, indeed. Specifically a not-entirely-average,-at-least-not-in-every-aspect horny teenage boy.

        • Jason
          Jason
          February 11, 2018 at 8:17 pm | #

          Is he “horny” though? I don’t think we’ve seen any actual sexual desire. He hit on Dina but it felt to me more like him behaving like he thought he was supposed to.

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            February 12, 2018 at 2:50 pm | #

            They are probably remembering the previous storyline Faz.

  22. Qube
    Qube
    February 11, 2018 at 1:02 am | #

    h god Faz is twins and they’re both named Faz

  23. All-Purpose Guru
    All-Purpose Guru
    February 11, 2018 at 1:10 am | #

    YE GODS GO THE FUCK AWAY, FAZ

  24. JohnF
    JohnF
    February 11, 2018 at 1:15 am | #

    Why all the Faz hate? Just because Amber can’t stand him is no reason to hate him. Yes, he’s clueless, but just ship him over here (in this country and state he’s not a minor..) and I’ll fix that. I think he’s cute and quite sweet, like a really sticky lollies stuck between your teeth.

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      February 11, 2018 at 1:29 am | #

      because of everything he did in Shortpacked. there was a lot of creepiness and a complete immunity to the word “no”.

      • Charlie Spencer
        Charlie Spencer
        February 11, 2018 at 1:50 am | #

        That’s not it, or at least not all of it. I’ve never read SP! and I actively dislike this incredibly annoying character. I don’t even find him to be a good comic relief. I can only assume Willis enjoys him, and its his comic.

    • Parzival
      Parzival
      February 11, 2018 at 1:47 am | #

      DoA Faz is supremely annoying. Shortpacked Faz, however, is flat out loathsome. And for many of us, it’s hard to mentally separate the two.

      • PB
        PB
        February 11, 2018 at 1:22 pm | #

        Thanks for phrasing it so well.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        February 11, 2018 at 1:50 pm | #

        DoA Faz has also had much less exposure. Perhaps he will come to surpass his alternate universe self with more.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      February 11, 2018 at 2:02 am | #

      Being a creeper to Dina is definitely a strike against him for one.

    • Kraazivaan
      Kraazivaan
      February 11, 2018 at 2:11 am | #

      For what it’s worth, DoA is the first Willis comic I’ve read from the beginning, so I have no idea what he’s done in other alternate universes. Also, I don’t remember seeing him before, even in DoA, so my impression, based entirely on the most recent 3 or so strips, was, “Wow. I currently hate this guy more than anyone else in DoA.”

      As to _why_, at least for me, it is due to the unbelievable levels of ego and smug that I see.

      • Peter
        Peter
        February 11, 2018 at 5:52 am | #

        All Faz appearances in DoA, to date:

        http://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/faz/

    • Dean
      Dean
      February 11, 2018 at 4:31 am | #

      If anything, I prefer DoAFaz to ShortpackedFaz. SFaz was a grown man who knew he made others uncomfortable with his actions, but didn’t care. DFaz is just a damaged kid trapped in an abusive home, who’s still trying to make sense of the world.

      • Liliet
        Liliet
        February 11, 2018 at 10:00 am | #

        ^^^

  25. Nope
    Nope
    February 11, 2018 at 1:25 am | #

    So are those papers in his hand going to be proof about her being amazigirl? Because I get the feeling why he’s actually here is going to be something big (or at least dramatic)

    • Inahc
      Inahc
      February 11, 2018 at 1:30 am | #

      I think that’s his sign.

      • Nope
        Nope
        February 11, 2018 at 1:48 am | #

        I assume there’s something written on the other side of the sign, plus there’s more than one piece of paper.

    • Peter
      Peter
      February 11, 2018 at 5:53 am | #

      Note that his hands were empty when he was pushed into the elevator.

      • David DeLaney
        David DeLaney
        February 12, 2018 at 10:35 am | #

        This matters not. One of his superpowers is the ability to produce charts, and presumably other written material As Long As It’s Creepy, out of apparent thin air. Like hammerspace, except it makes him who you want to wallop with the hammers.

        –Dave, not linking tvtropes. you can thank me later

  26. Parzival
    Parzival
    February 11, 2018 at 1:46 am | #

    Novelty is over, make it end please.

  27. Tyramisu
    Tyramisu
    February 11, 2018 at 1:49 am | #

    Oh look he feel down about every flight of stairs in the building. Numerous times.
    This arc is the first time I’ve seen him and I already want him beaten an inch past his life.

    • Charlie Spencer
      Charlie Spencer
      February 11, 2018 at 1:56 am | #

      I wouldn’t even enjoy seeing that. I just want the character to disappear immediately, even if no explanation or resolution is offered.

  28. Koms
    Koms
    February 11, 2018 at 1:49 am | #

    Smelly Faz smelly Faz, what are they feeding you

  29. Michael Lanting
    Michael Lanting
    February 11, 2018 at 1:50 am | #

    At least the cat waited until the very next day to come back, instead of reappearing instantly.

  30. Cope
    Cope
    February 11, 2018 at 1:55 am | #

    A magical being or a Tex Avery character.

  31. Makkabee
    Makkabee
    February 11, 2018 at 1:59 am | #

    Quick call to campus security?

  32. kitty
    kitty
    February 11, 2018 at 2:06 am | #

    here is kitty’s finnish word of the day!

    jäte (garbage)

    have a nice day!

    • TheGrammarLegionary
      TheGrammarLegionary
      February 11, 2018 at 2:21 am | #

      How fitting for this strip. Kiitos!

  33. Fidalgo
    Fidalgo
    February 11, 2018 at 2:11 am | #

    I TOLD YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO

    • PB
      PB
      February 11, 2018 at 1:21 pm | #

      Thank youuuu~

  34. BenRG
    BenRG
    February 11, 2018 at 2:28 am | #

    Okay, so Faz has obviously been doing this a lot, given that Amber is talking about him hanging around her as if it is something that happens a lot. He is also genre savvy, given the way he talks about the trick with the stairs.

  35. NinjaNick
    NinjaNick
    February 11, 2018 at 2:30 am | #

    Faz has telepsychopathic powers.

  36. Some1
    Some1
    February 11, 2018 at 3:14 am | #

    Let’s face it, some of you guys lost your I want to see this character die privileges five Danny’s ago. Can’t we have one fucking strip where we try and be at least a little original because frankly, with Yotomoe posting so infrequently, Cerberus is really the only thing keeping this entire forum from descending into a pointless mess. Hey and you can also help, it’s easy just be original. If you’re angry at a character, step away from the site until you can calm down, focus your efforts on helping the downtrodden rather then beating down the uptrodden, or even worse beating down the downtrodden just because they slightly annoy you. Alternatively, because the last idea was more related to life in general than to the comment page, if you agree with a post, post I reply saying you agree rather than making an entirely new comment to say the exact same thing.

    I’m sorry I just had to get that off my chest, Willis if you want you can ban me. To tell the truth for years I’ve lived in fear of you and your judgment, so I’m done running. I’m done carefully choosing words to avoid upsetting a man I don’t even know. In fact I’m done being scared of anyone’s judgement. To clarify, I don’t hate you or disagree with you on most points (and even those are more how than what) , but I do hate how you’ve come to represent my fear of angering authority. I don’t even think its your fault, but all the people’s who’s fault it is always leave before I can tell them off. I’m sorry.

    • Some1
      Some1
      February 11, 2018 at 3:20 am | #

      Yeah…I should probably see someone.

      • Brotato
        Brotato
        February 11, 2018 at 3:25 am | #

        Don’t you mean… some1?

        But for real, m8, you ok? Your first paragraph was all well & good, and you usually post pretty good comments, but that last bit was a bit meltdownesque. Do you have any friends up this late to talk to?

        • Some1
          Some1
          February 11, 2018 at 3:43 am | #

          I’m not melting down as much as reemerging from the liquid from having melted down a while back. I gave up, and there is nothing I can do about that, but I can make it better. When I was a child, I was too scared to protect someone I cared about, because I was scared of getting in trouble. But I’m an adult now, and it’s time to grow up and get over my fears. If anyone here wants my help, just ask, because as long as your cause is just and non bigoted, I will deny Heaven itself to help you.

    • Liliet
      Liliet
      February 11, 2018 at 10:01 am | #

      I… agree with this comment completely re: lost your ‘i want to see this character die’ privileges.

      like, can we just not

      • Some1
        Some1
        February 11, 2018 at 2:18 pm | #

        Steven Universe fans vs Dumbing of Age fans

        SU Fans: sure you might have murdered millions if not billions, destroyed countless life forms and subject thousands of your own kind to horrific experiments but we forgive you.

        DOA fans: Die! Die for the crime of making a single mistake!

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          February 11, 2018 at 3:04 pm | #

          ….You and I know very different SU fans.

          • Some1
            Some1
            February 11, 2018 at 3:08 pm | #

            It may be a Tumblr vs Reddit issue. Tumblr has an issue with people who are essentially exactly like Mary but like to hide behind pretending they give a crap about social rights.

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              February 11, 2018 at 5:12 pm | #

              Maybe, but personally I trust Reddit about as far as I can throw it.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      February 12, 2018 at 2:55 pm | #

      I reeeeaaaallllly want to make a new post saying the exact same thing. 🙂

  37. Epochflame
    Epochflame
    February 11, 2018 at 3:45 am | #

    he just couldn’t stay away

  38. Zaxares
    Zaxares
    February 11, 2018 at 4:15 am | #

    Could somebody explain the alt-text for this strip? I don’t get it. 🙁

    • Dana
      Dana
      February 11, 2018 at 4:22 am | #

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjMffHG1V_Q

  39. Eldritch Gentleman
    Eldritch Gentleman
    February 11, 2018 at 4:26 am | #

    He is magical? Okay, that’s excuse enough, break out the chainswords and KILL THE WITCH!

    • SgtWadeyWilson
      SgtWadeyWilson
      February 11, 2018 at 5:11 am | #

      Now, now, let’s not go insulting witches by equating Faz to us-*Ahem.* …them.

      • Eldritch Gentleman
        Eldritch Gentleman
        February 11, 2018 at 5:13 am | #

        *narrows his eyes* Are you too perchance a heretical follower of the Chaos Gods?

        • SgtWadeyWilson
          SgtWadeyWilson
          February 11, 2018 at 5:20 am | #

          Me? Follow gods? Ha! I mean, believe in, learn from, attempt to overthrow? Sure. …but follow? *Hysterical laughter.* Honestly, half of every pantheon is a how not to guide, and the other half is… sometimes okayish?

          • Eldritch Gentleman
            Eldritch Gentleman
            February 11, 2018 at 10:31 am | #

            To be fair the main lesson Chaos Gods teach is to “Embrace the excess” be it battle and killing, planning and power lust, diseases or plain physical pleasure… and not only.

        • Ntrovert
          Ntrovert
          February 11, 2018 at 11:18 am | #

          Blood and souls for Arioch!

      • StClair
        StClair
        February 11, 2018 at 12:47 pm | #

        “They could be witches! Some evil witches– which is ridiculous ’cause witches they were persecuted, wicca good and love the Earth and womyn power and I’ll be over here.”

  40. Abel Undercity
    Abel Undercity
    February 11, 2018 at 5:21 am | #

    “Thanks for reminding me of the stairs, Faz!”

    (Kicks him down them)

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      February 11, 2018 at 8:15 am | #

      He’ll ragdoll down the stairs, yet somehow he’ll be waiting in Amber’s room when she gets back.

      • PB
        PB
        February 11, 2018 at 1:20 pm | #

        There’s a Homestuck reference in here, but I already used it on a previous comic.

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          February 11, 2018 at 3:13 pm | #

          It keeps happening.

  41. Just for kix
    Just for kix
    February 11, 2018 at 5:25 am | #

    List of Annoying Magical Beings:
    1. Angels <- These hypocritical self-claimed do-gooders must die
    2. Old Ones <- Quality of the story often drops whenever the Old Ones get mentioned in any literary work
    3. Faz <- Jar Jar Binks of Dumbing of Age

    • Rowen Morland
      Rowen Morland
      February 11, 2018 at 5:28 am | #

      Out of all the comedy elements they tried to insert into Star Wars I think Jar Jar was the most amusing.

  42. carl320
    carl320
    February 11, 2018 at 5:30 am | #

    Young Miss O’Malley had troubles of her own…

    • PB
      PB
      February 11, 2018 at 1:19 pm | #

      🎶 She had a crazy Faz that wouldn’t leave her home… 🎵

  43. ozzi
    ozzi
    February 11, 2018 at 8:34 am | #

    This is not a drill we have a whole story arc with Faz in it. I personally cant stand him, but ya know it might be fun. We might get to see amazigirl knock him out cos amazigirl doesn’t kill, except when she does.

    • Mada
      Mada
      February 11, 2018 at 11:57 am | #

      I recall him having a weird crush on Dina a while back. I do wonder how he’s going to react when he finds out Dina has a girlfriend.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        February 11, 2018 at 1:45 pm | #

        Poorly. I mean creepily.

  44. Passchendaele
    Passchendaele
    February 11, 2018 at 9:05 am | #

    *Amber pushes Faz into the elevator, presses all the floor buttons, jumps back*

    • hof1991
      hof1991
      February 11, 2018 at 10:36 am | #

      and he gets out one floor away? just how tall is this building?

      • Passchendaele
        Passchendaele
        February 11, 2018 at 11:21 am | #

        Depending on if there’s public ceiling access via elevator (which I’m guessing there isn’t), two or three floors? Amber may have trouble getting rid of him. 😛

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          February 11, 2018 at 1:48 pm | #

          Apparently 6 floors, but the elevator doesn’t go to the sixth.

  45. Andy
    Andy
    February 11, 2018 at 9:31 am | #

    Faz, a better reason for not pointing out the stairs would be so she doesn’t shove you that way.

  46. Liliet
    Liliet
    February 11, 2018 at 10:02 am | #

    Faz snark is best snark

  47. Josh Spicer
    Josh Spicer
    February 11, 2018 at 11:01 am | #

    No, Faz, seriously, fuck off.

  48. Ntrovert
    Ntrovert
    February 11, 2018 at 11:16 am | #

    Don’t remind her of the stairs, Faz. She might just drop you down them…

  49. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    February 11, 2018 at 11:34 am | #

    Allow Faz to explain using these convenient charts.

    The Great Faz has developed an interest in the one called Dina Saruyama. This requires that I stalk her everywhere she goes. However, Dina is capable of teleporting through doors, making stalking her very challenging. Fortunately, the law of ‘Faz Is Great’ allows me to gain whatever powers I need to be maximally annoying. Therefore, The Great Faz too can teleport through doors. Let the wooing commence!

    • David DeLaney
      David DeLaney
      February 12, 2018 at 10:39 am | #

      I wish I did not want to subscirbe to this newsletter.

      –Dave, obDYW: DYW

  50. Aprion
    Aprion
    February 11, 2018 at 11:36 am | #

    just throw him back down those stairs.

  51. Mada
    Mada
    February 11, 2018 at 11:53 am | #

    The solution is to throw him off the roof.

  52. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    February 11, 2018 at 12:11 pm | #

    Now I’m not advocading to just push him back down the stairs, but.

  53. nightsbridge
    nightsbridge
    February 11, 2018 at 12:38 pm | #

    the cat came back is a classic

  54. PB
    PB
    February 11, 2018 at 1:18 pm | #

    And now my favorite childhood song is in this arc. WILLIS DO WE LIKE THE SAME MUSIC LET’S TALK ABOUT MUSIC.

    • PB
      PB
      February 11, 2018 at 1:23 pm | #

      Also, I get the sinking feeling that Faz will be rendered sympathetic in this arc. Bear in mind, he lives with Blaine, who’s like … ten Fazes and a Clint on his own.

  55. Foxhack
    Foxhack
    February 11, 2018 at 2:36 pm | #

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH THAT ALT TEXT HOW DARE YOU

  56. Tenn
    Tenn
    February 11, 2018 at 3:59 pm | #

    Magical… being…

    Oh fuck.

    Faz is Tingle.

    THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE.

    • PB
      PB
      February 12, 2018 at 11:36 am | #

      CONSPIRACY CONFIRMED

  57. Emperor Norton II
    Emperor Norton II
    February 11, 2018 at 5:41 pm | #

    So yesterday, it was noted that Faz talks about himself similarly to how “President” Shithole talks about himself. And today, he’s proving to be hard to get rid of* and completely ignoring any attempts to do so because he’s utterly oblivious to why they’re doing it.

    If Faz meets Robin, the universe might just implode from all the density in one place dragging everything else in.

  58. Pablo360
    Pablo360
    February 11, 2018 at 8:59 pm | #

    Look, I dislike Faz as much as the next guy, but hashtag goals

  59. Heavensrun
    Heavensrun
    February 12, 2018 at 1:31 pm | #

    So like….Okay, stairs, but even with stairs….Either Amber spent a really long time staring at the elevator, or he IS a magical being.

  60. Michael
    Michael
    February 12, 2018 at 10:55 pm | #

    GODS DAMN IT NOW I HAVE THE CAT CAME BACK SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD

CHOOSE A SIDE, NO COWARDS

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