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(he/him)
⚧
New game! BOLTED 
inaction figures
(they don’t eat your corpse)
FOOTNOTE: Degree antiperspirant did a commercial campaign featuring InAction Figures. Now You Know.
also the Jay and Silent Bob figures, I realise
What if one of them is a decepticon?
The “They won’t eat your corpse” marketing campaign never seemed very popular, for some reason. Personally, I found that extremely reassuring.
We’re working on that.
I mean, on robots becoming able to eat your corpse.
Well, there were plans for a robot named EATR which would fuel itself by burning biological matter (wood and plants really) and be able to operate without a fuel tank or battery. But since it was being developed for the military the inevitable question was whether it would eat human corpses as well.
I hear the project was scrapped.
I remember reading about a prototype (named “Chew Chew the Gastrobot”, since I guess the punning potential what with it being a train-shaped robot that was powered by eating stuff was too good to pass up) which was actually built, though it only ran on sugar cubes so far as I remember.
Actually, I’m pretty sure they made an Anakin Skywalker action figure which can eat your corpse: http://www.rebelscum.com/sagadxanakin.asp
still makes morbid quips
good to know
Already makes morbid quips.
Anyone who calls themselves a “Turbonerd” is actually a Super huge nerd
hehehe, tur-boner’d
Where are they in this strip?
Cafetorium? At like the back? At school, apparently, so it’s either that or like, Art.
Yeah, that’s what was confusing me. I figured they were at school, but then I haven’t ever seen a similar set up in a school. Not that there couldn’t be, it just doesn’t look “school-like” to me.
Maybe it’s a school with a “multipurpose room” instead of a separate gym and cafeteria, and those are gym mats on the wall?
Those wavy marks on the walls are what’s throwing me. It makes it look a bit like they’re sitting in a booth, which no public school ever would have. But Irvin it does double time as a gym, those could be mats and I could see that. Not unheard of when space is a premium for the school, and if their school system lumps in sixth or even seventh grade with elementary instead of middle school then it makes perfect sense to me since elementary is particularly prone to the dreaded combo room.
This is one of those strips that’ll work really well with the sliding timescale, won’t it – after all, back when Dumbing of Age started, Ethan would’ve already been sixteen years old when the toy was released.
I like that this means that the toy will get increasingly more vintage as the comic goes on.
I liked that, though I admit it also amused me greatly to think that as of now he’s calling it vintage when it’s all of…what? 3 years old? 2? (which seems like pretty accurate thinking for your average pre-teen!)
And that’ll stop being a joke.
2009 seems pretty recent for “vintage,” anyway. I mean, if you want to see some real vintage transformers…
<3
That’s an entire book. I was amused by the assumption that all readers have frequent experience of berry-picking. Skinny-dipping in mineral oil sounds amusing . . . But it’s less dense than water, so you’d sink. Potentially very dangerous, especially if PCB oil (toxic).
I’m glad safety standards have improved.
I was confused about your comment until I followed the link down that particular rabbit hole – time well wasted. XD
Hard to believe they used to swim in that stuff.
You know there’s something really… sad about these flashbacks and I can’t put my finger on it. Yeah, the teacher hit him (which is, ofc, wrong) but like.. there’s a buildup to something worse than that and it explains away why mike plays such a fine line of double edged asshole.
I’m almost starting to believe that current day mike does what he does out of a super round about way of kindness?? I don’t know. I’m reevaluating mike as a 1D spite man
It’s kinda weird seeing some Mike backstory. I’m used to Walkyverse Mike where there really wasn’t any attempt to explain why he’s an asshole at all.
I don’t think the teacher hit him? It looked to me that she pushed him out of the office (possibly after forcibly dragging him to the door, putting him even more off balance) and he fell as a result. I assumed the mark on his face was from that.
I mean, a teacher actually hitting a child is a massive step beyond the dickery we saw from her.
From the way he landed, any marks or such would be on his chin or lower face.
Bodily throwing a child is past the event horizon of terrible teaching.
–ah, I misread your comment. I interpreted that she threw him, you interpreted that she dragged him and shoved him. That’s a more sensible reaction, but, it’s still pretty crazy-bad to do to a kid in one’s care.
Oh, I totally agree, it’s beyond not okay. But the alternatives are that she hit and then shoved a child, or hit a child hard enough for them to fall (the latter unlikely from how Mike falls). So yeah, for sure I could have phrased it better- but accidentally pushing a child over (but really not caring that you did so) is definitely overshadowed by purposely hitting them and THEN not caring that you pushed them over. That one just… feels… much worse to me?
After looking at the comic again, I have to agree with you. In the first panel he doesn’t have a mark/scratches on his face, after getting up he does. So it’s probably from the fall (weird position though).
Though shoving or even dragging a child out with enough momentum that it stumbles and falls does still go beyond the up-to-now-dickery of the teacher, imo.
He didn’t land on the part of his face with the mark though. If the mark were from the fall, it’d be on his chin.
Yeah, I know…maybe it’s from partly falling onto his arm? Or to just give him a roughened up look…?
Or he did get slapped and the mark took some time to appear.
Either way, shame on the teacher for either possible action.
after the previous one, where Mike gets slapped and shoved out of a room only to find Amber didn’t even wait for him, I’m expecting Amber and Ethan to be part of the cause of Mike becoming an asshole.
But also Mike seems so sad in these flashbacks. I feel compelled to give him a hug. I want to know what terrible things he experienced or witnessed that are behind is strained smile. Maybe his too-happy-to-be-true family hides some complex secrets after all. Come to think of it, Mike’s dad was not included in Willis’s latest “happy fathers day for all the three decent fathers in the dumbingverse” post.
….. oh no.
I think it’s seeing Mike’s face start to contort more and more into what we know as his “default” state of always angry.
Yep, just the usual set of worms, bacteria, and assorted insects will slowly devour his rotting corpse, not cats. Hooray!
“If you are what you eat, I’m dead meat”
Raptors like their meat live.
And then cut to years later when ethan doesn’t care what people think about him being a turbonerd BUT does care about what they may think if he’s gay. Recalling the strip where he doesn’t want to be Gay Ethan he wants to be Transformers Nerd Ethan.
they would if toystory was real. so they could always have a piece of you with them
But them inevitably eating your corpse is how you know that they love you!
You always eat the ones you love. Saves buying groceries.
2009 isn’t vintage! I’m not that old!!!!
It’s nearly ten years.
My thoughts exactly. Stop making me feel old Willis! I’m not even 30 yet.
It must have been 2010 or so much in comic, or if they are around 12, 2013 at best.
It’s 2018, they’re 18 now, so they’d be 9 in 2009. If they’re 12, it’d be 2012.
Well, three years does feel pretty long for a 10- or 12-year old.
If I remember that time, even becoming 14 felt like a whole decade passed until then.
I know it’s probably because as an adult, you have much more going on in your head and organisational-wise you are more invested in everything and you have to do much more tasks that are mostly time consumers, but even now I’m like:
It’s nearly JULY? Shit, how did THAT happen??!
There’s a distinct gap between last month feels like it was ages ago and the stuff I get done, though.
I had almost exactly that thought last night, remembering that it was when the “new” Star Trek movie came out. (Well, the first of this trilogy.)
Ah best friendship. Can’t wait to see what turns Mike into such an acerbic arse. And how I presume Ethan and Amber won’t turn their backs on him because of whatever event causes the transformation.
I suspect it’s not going to be a big dramatic moment but rather a slow shift- but we will see. I’m intrigued, I’ll say that.
Damn you sliding time scale. 2009 was initially only a year ago, but now it’s 9
Vintage? It hasn’t even been a decade yet!
Ten years is forever ago when it’s more than half of your life.
Ten years is a moment ago when you can distinctly remember it.
Time is forever accelerating, its only merciful act between childhood innocence and cold, unfeeling oblivion. Eat Arby’s.
The panel three line is weird. Mike is saying it as a statement, the same way he was telling the teacher, “It’s because she’s a girl.”. It’s like he figured something out and is just expressing it with no holding back.
Mike may not be holding back – but he’s not being mean, either.
That’s a pretty innocent looking face in panel 3.
Can’t wait to see what Willis has planned for him.
You’re probably on the money there. He’s young and probably hasn’t figured out how to say what just occured to him without it being exactly how he thought it. Like when kids write their thoughts down the way they think them. This is the verbal version. Probably.\_(°~°)_/ i’unno.
There’s also the time he said “Amber! Something’s wrong.” It seems like something you’d normally phrase as a question.
His perceptiveness is more a curse than a blessing isn’t it
I laughed at the vintage comment. Oh, Ethan.
But cats eating your corpse is part of the circle of life.
No sense wasting a perfectly good corpse.
Damnit, Past Mike, stop showing flaws in my headcanon by showing you have a personality.
Ah, Mike. There you are in the last panel.
It’s weird seeing Mike genuinely happy for a change. And if this is after the incident with the teacher…then whatever happens that makes him the way he is in the present is going to be both depressing and horrifying.
I don’t see happiness here. Looking at his eyes, I think he’s just putting a smile on, rather than talking about… whatever it is (I’m assuming what went down with the teacher and him finding that Amber had scarpered).
But with this storyline overall, I agree. It’s weird to see him open and genuine and caring.
He doesn’t look very happy.
I’m worried to where the flashbacks may be going
I’m thinking that Amber and Ethan had more influence on the man Mike is growing up to be than either of them realised. In his own strange way, he may actually be trying to help them as repayment. Or this may all be a years-long plot of revenge.
Revenge. They created him, at least the way he is now.
Look at that freaking hipster, liking things from the distant past of 2009
I can see shapes of Danny’s and Joe’s relationship in Ethan and Mike. They were friends as kids, and part of their dynamic is trying to find that connection again.
I would say Danny and Joe are more successful.
Because they were also friends in High School and Ethan was just a person Mike was “willing to stand next to” (in Ethan’s own words). (shrug)
By the time DoA comic time reaches November, the year 2009 will be before the characters were born. Excellent foresight, Mr. Willis.
We’re already into October, so maybe not that long?
Unfun fact: I stopped taking toys to school in kindergarten, after the son of a County Commissioner bullied me into trading two brand new transformers (Dirge and Megatron) for one busted up one (Hoist).
Any creature that puts up with me deserves to snack on my corpse.
*Glances over at literal wall of Transformers figures*
Huh, I should really get a pet cat.
Hey this is random but can anyone explain to me how you two select multiple tags? Like if you want to see all comics with both those characters in it? I’ve been trying for a bit but I can’t figure it out.
Put a + between their names, like so: http://www.dumbingofage.com/tag/mike+ethan/
This also works for three names, but not four. Five is right out.
Damn. It should have worked with any prime number of names.
Yay! Monty Python reference!
I think that Ethan and Mike were on the same wavelength pretty much from the start!
Surprisingly disappointed I can’t find a gif of a Michael Bay transformer eating a corpse anywhere. I dunno, it just seems like the kind of thing Michael Bay would do to a transformer movie. The only time I’ll ever want Bay to suck more than he actually does and he can’t even deliver on that. Or maybe my Google-fu is the real failure tonight. Either way, no robot carrion eaters here…
So apparently he sucks at sucking.
They might come alive from all the love he put into them and transform his corpse into an immortal robot so he can live on within the electron path.
I think that you’ll find that this is Ethan’s ‘Plan B’.
SERIOUSLY MIKE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU
Imagine reading this strip when DOA first came out in 2010.
Wait what.
Back then, Ethan would have had a reverse-vintage toy: a toy from the future. (Remember, this scene is a flashback.)
I’m not even going to PRETEND i’m not INCREDIBLY HYPED to understand WHY MIKE IS MIKE.
I’VE READ ALL YOUR WEBCOMICS, WILLIS, GIVE ME BACKSTORY!!(please.)
…or WILL THEY
I would like it a lot if there was a tag for “flashback”, for later when this arc is finished so I can cycle through all of these in a row
Speaking as someone who likes cat, Mike, you just treated a feature like a bug.
These scenes of Mike before he gave in to edgelord assholery break my heart. Even if nothing more gets revealed (and there will be, this is Willis), it echoes and evokes the melancholy of every kid radicalized into a monster.
Being an asshole the way Mike is an asshole is something carefully taught and that’s just heart-breaking.
Oh my god! It’s been forever since I seen you hun! I’m so glad I decided to comment today. How are you? What have you been up to? *appropriate enthusiastic greeting*
I finally worked up the courage to post some of my fanfiction and people really liked it! I’m still reeling from that. Got my tonsils out (do not reccomend as an adult). Found a great therapist. Got some AMAZING tattoos (including that memorial one I was talking about?). Oh! And my cat is still terribly spoiled XD
Also, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! ^_^
Cerberus! Hi! I was starting to get worried that something had happened to you. I’m glad you’re alright! I always love your comments.
… Dinobot has canonically eaten at least one corpse.
I love how Willis uses flashbacks to add depth to his characters ^_^
Young Mike constantly looks on the verge of a meltdown this child is so stressed
Does Mike’s hair become more ridgid as he descends into Assholia?
I mean 2009 actually kinda sucked. I was the year we all found out that Obama was full of shit (caring more about “compromise” then his campaign agenda, and look where that got us), the economy was still in the toilet, and the memes were terrible. Fuck 2009, FUCK LINEAR TIME, TIMECUBE=TRUE
Credit where it’s due, compromise was one of the few viable options when the Republican party who had control of Congress and the house are actively trying to shoot down everything that you plan to propose.
And memes are always terrible. They’re like puns.
COMPROMISE IS EDUCATED STUPID
The myth that Obama could have gotten Single Payer or something like Britain’s healthcare system in 2009 if he’d just pushed for it needs to die in a fire. Between the death of Ted Kennedy, the delay in Al Franken being seated, Scott Brown’s election to Kennedy’s seat and one GOP Senator switching parties, the Dems only had 60 votes for a couple months from 2008-2010. And that was with the ACA that we eventually got; a more radical change would have cost Manchin and several others and was therefore dead on arrival. We MIGHT have been able to spare a vote or two if not for Joe Lieberman. If you want to blame someone, blame him.
The ACA isn’t perfect, but it was better than what we had before, and it saved my life.
Yeah, I blame Joe. He was my Senator, despite my best efforts, so I get too.
Remember he campaigned for McCain in 2008.
There were a couple of others. Baucus? Nelson?
With no margin for error, the plan was essentially held hostage to whatever the most conservative Democratic Senators wanted.
I do wish, and did at the time, that some single payer plan had gotten far enough to at least get analyzed – scored by the CBO or something. That might have changed the conversation. Probably not though.
Even beyond that, you have to remember how much of a shitstorm even the ACA stirred up. The GOP largely won 2010 on that and it certainly wasn’t because it wasn’t socialist enough. It was all “big government takeover” and “death panels” and “government bureaucrats between you and your doctor”. Single payer would likely have been sunk before being implemented, even if it had passed.
It’s amazing how much the debate has changed since then, largely just by the existence of the ACA. Lousy as it might be, people now see healthcare as something the government should ensure and are thus focused on how the ACA fails to do that well, than on how horrible the very idea is.
Except for Republican politicians, of course.
The problem with conservative Dems is that they’re largely in very conservative states where someone more to the left most likely wouldn’t be elected. So they have to negotiate between keeping their constituents happy and the party line. If they vote directly against their constituents desires too often, they risk not being re-elected in favour of someone who won’t vote with the Dems at all. So it often comes down between someone who votes with Dems around 80% of the time vs someone who will do so 0% of the time.
Pretty much. And as much as I’d love to get someone to the left of Joe Manchin in his seat, he’s both as liberal as you can get in WV and has held the party line on the majority of important votes recently.
Here in California it’s our Reps that we need to worry about. I live right on the border of Kevin McCarthy and Devin Nunez territory. Ugh.
Exactly. Road to 2018 has good info on the most at risk Dem Senators right now, and a lot of them are in primo Trump territory.
Though Joe was from Connecticut. Hardly a conservative stronghold.
But yeah, in general it’s true. Democrats want a Senate majority, they’re not all going to be able to run they way they might in Massachusetts or California.
Joe Manchin or someone else? Because Joe Manchin is in West Virginia, and they’ve only gotten more conservative in their presidential picks. None of the senators currently considered at risk by Road to 2018 are in Connecticut.
Sorry. Still ranting about Lieberman and Obamacare.
Ah, I see. I know nothing about him and so shall not comment. XD
I was once tempted to tell a regular on my bus that he looked like Joe Lieberman would if Joe Lieberman had a soul.
I mean im sure no ones reading this at this point, but I was specifically talking about basic shit like tax hikes for the wealthy, ending the patriot act, and stopping brutal wars of economic expansion in the middle east. Some of that shit he had more then enough mandate for, having just won on an anti-war campaign.
Again, a popular- and electoral college-vote mandate is worthless in the face of unprecedented obstructionism and having zero margin for error. Obama had six months of exactly sixty votes in his first term, and Mitch McConnell made it so that sixty votes were needed to do pretty much anything. That meant that anything that wanted to be passed needed the OK of either the most conservative Democrats or the most moderate Republicans, if not both. That’s why what tax increases (like the stimulus) that did pass weren’t large enough. You could certainly argue that Obama’s starting point in negotiations wasn’t bold enough, but in the end the real power was with Joe Manchin, Max Baucus and Susan Collins.
And it’s not like Obama didn’t try on some of those things. Sure, the PATRIOT Act was never going to be fully repealed, but signing an executive order to close Gitmo was one of the first things Obama did. Except congress prevented that from going through, too…
Personally I dont care if cats eat my corpse, Im done with it.
The use of a specific date (2009) makes it REALLY weird looking back and seeing that this comic started in 2010. I’m into it.
Hovertext—Wait, which Alternate Marvel Future is set in a bad 2009? Days of Future Past was originally set in 2013, and Machine Man fought Arno Stark in 2020… When did the Martians attack earth in the timeline of the original Guardians of the Galaxy again? Or was 2009 when the Age of Heroes ended in the original 2099 timeline? Or does this has something to do with those damn Next Avengers kids? Can I blame Kang for this?
you can blame galvatron for this
StrategyBlame is for cowards!!!Ah, I should have figured it was a Transformers thing. Considering my two year old is obsessed with Rescue Bots I’m gonna have to up my Transformers game, I only casually watched the ‘toons back in the 80’s. Despite a comic collection that could collapse into a singularity at any moments I think the only Transformers comics in there are from FCBDs or Halloween Comic Fests.