Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

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May 5, 2026

Oh no no no no

by David M Willis on June 26, 2019 at 12:01 am
  • 04 - Vote for Robin
└ Tags: amber, asher, walky

Discussion (107) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    June 26, 2019 at 12:03 am | #

    “oh no unfamiliar person talking to me, my worst nightmare”

    ←legit

    • ShinyNeen
      ShinyNeen
      June 26, 2019 at 12:53 am | #

      Super legit. And that’s why customer services jobs are so rough!

      … Well, it’s one of the reasons.

      • Kaidah
        Kaidah
        June 26, 2019 at 8:54 am | #

        If any job exemplifies the phrase “hell is other people”, it’s customer service.

  2. BBCC
    BBCC
    June 26, 2019 at 12:04 am | #

    Oh, Amber, honey. Try staring at his chin. It’s close enough to pretend it’s eye contact.

    • Casi
      Casi
      June 26, 2019 at 12:08 am | #

      i have mastered the art of looking at someone’s eyes while focusing on a completely different object in my periphery just to avoid this kind of thing

      • Felix
        Felix
        June 26, 2019 at 12:24 am | #

        Word.

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      June 26, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

      His chin is too rugged, she’ll get distracted again, she needs to follow my advice and focus on the bridge of his nose.

      • Alan in DC
        Alan in DC
        June 26, 2019 at 7:57 am | #

        I dont know… a rugged chin is a nice change from everybody else’s chins that are so angular they can split firewood.

    • Foxhack
      Foxhack
      June 26, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

      I tend to look at peoples’ eyebrows.

      • Pl0x
        Pl0x
        June 26, 2019 at 4:15 am | #

        I think this one has worked best for me. But my eyes still have the urge to wander around. It’s like I have to keep them busy..

    • Shen Hibiki
      Shen Hibiki
      June 26, 2019 at 12:48 am | #

      If you look -right- between the eyes, they believe you’re looking at them.
      It works, is what I do XD

    • Nenja
      Nenja
      June 26, 2019 at 2:54 am | #

      I stare at people’s noses. So far, no one seems to have figured it out.

    • Zee
      Zee
      June 26, 2019 at 9:22 am | #

      Try the bridge of his nose, it’s close enough

      • ValdVin
        ValdVin
        June 26, 2019 at 9:49 am | #

        I think Lou Grant caught out Mary Richards (on the old Mary Tyler Moore show) for doing that exact thing.

        “Look me straight in the eye.”

        “I am.”

        “You’re looking at me straight in the nose.”

    • Amazi-Stool
      Amazi-Stool
      June 26, 2019 at 2:40 pm | #

      Funny enough it was Amber who advised exactly against this strategy!

      • Seregiel
        Seregiel
        June 26, 2019 at 3:05 pm | #

        “Should. Should is a good word.” To replace some Pain and Panic logic there.

        • Bathymetheus
          Bathymetheus
          June 26, 2019 at 9:53 pm | #

          I don’t know who you’re quoting there, but “should” is a very dangerous word, along with “ought” and the phrase “if only”.

  3. bengrue
    bengrue
    June 26, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    I love him already

    • ǝ snow ʍousɐ
      ǝ snow ʍousɐ
      June 26, 2019 at 12:30 am | #

      But all he’s been doing is criticizing Amber while smoking a cigarette!

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        June 26, 2019 at 1:49 am | #

        Is this negging?

      • Zero
        Zero
        June 26, 2019 at 2:03 am | #

        While I disapprove of the latter, I’m not sure I can criticize criticizing Amber given what he knows of her so far.

        If somebody popped out of a bush and announced that you’re hot while somebody else still hiding in the bush talked to her as though you couldn’t hear him… how would you react to that.

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          June 26, 2019 at 2:24 am | #

          I’d back off slowly and avoid eye contact.

        • HeySo
          HeySo
          June 26, 2019 at 3:15 am | #

          “how would you react to that.”

          I’d.. eye my flask in concern, pause, shrug, and then drink some more?
          I guess in Asher’s case, that’d be a long hard drag off his cig, instead.

          And then, yeah, what Agemegos said. 😛

        • Regalli
          Regalli
          June 26, 2019 at 5:49 pm | #

          Yeah, no, this is a pretty logical response.

  4. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    June 26, 2019 at 12:05 am | #

    Dumbing of Age Book 9: I BAD AT PEOPLE, NO EYE-CONTACT GOOD

    • Tandel
      Tandel
      June 26, 2019 at 12:11 am | #

      Motion is seconded.

      • Felix
        Felix
        June 26, 2019 at 12:27 am | #

        hear, hear!

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      June 26, 2019 at 12:27 am | #

      This is the best potential DoA book title.

    • ǝ snow ʍousɐ
      ǝ snow ʍousɐ
      June 26, 2019 at 11:20 am | #

      I mean, yes.

    • Zero
      Zero
      June 27, 2019 at 12:33 am | #

      I think that’s just my new motto.

  5. bengrue
    bengrue
    June 26, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

    I love him already!

  6. ShinyNeen
    ShinyNeen
    June 26, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

    I hope some day I can be the one someone gives eye contact to. That’s when I’ll know I’ve really found someone special!

  7. Tan
    Tan
    June 26, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

    Yes, that is correct, your What Friend. The friend that you what with.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 26, 2019 at 1:23 am | #

      WHAT the WHAT???

  8. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    June 26, 2019 at 12:06 am | #

    Although my eyes could see I still was a blind man…

    • abysswatcher1993
      abysswatcher1993
      June 26, 2019 at 1:40 am | #

      Our eyes are yet to open. Fear the old blood.

  9. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    June 26, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

    So for people who actually have a problem with this, staring at the bridge of someone’s nose makes it appear as if you are looking them in the eye without actually doing so.

    Also, Walky why are you still hiding?

    • Foxhack
      Foxhack
      June 26, 2019 at 12:11 am | #

      Because Asher is going to recognize the twin brother of the girl who used to run with him.

  10. Newllend(henryvolt)
    Newllend(henryvolt)
    June 26, 2019 at 12:07 am | #

    Amber: Damn it Walky this is your fault for getting into this awkward situation with this gorgeous guy!

    Walky: Ok Amber I get it I’m not as hot as him, sorry.

    Amber: For getting me into this or for not being as hot?

    Walky: Both!…No wait I- argh!

  11. mrnoidea
    mrnoidea
    June 26, 2019 at 12:09 am | #

    Ooh, I just realized Asher could be entertaining as a male version of Sal (personality-wise).

    • JessWitt
      JessWitt
      June 26, 2019 at 1:20 am | #

      Yeah he reminds me a bit of Willis’ genderswap of Sal.

  12. LeslieBean4shizzle
    LeslieBean4shizzle
    June 26, 2019 at 12:10 am | #

    … is it just me, or does it kinda look like Asher is drawing on his shirt with a piece of chalk?
    I know it’s the smoke, it just…

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      June 26, 2019 at 12:31 am | #

      Not just you, had to do a double-take myself.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      June 26, 2019 at 12:34 am | #

      I saw it the same way before I remembered Asher smokes.

  13. Joe Moose
    Joe Moose
    June 26, 2019 at 12:11 am | #

    You *could* look at the bridge of the nose.

    That masculine cliff of a nose.

    • Mra
      Mra
      June 26, 2019 at 12:13 am | #

      My speech therapist told me to focus in on the eyebrows when I can’t look them in the eye.

  14. Proxiehunter
    Proxiehunter
    June 26, 2019 at 12:17 am | #

    “I bad at people no eye contact good” is practically my motto.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      June 26, 2019 at 12:28 am | #

      Same here.

      • Rukdug
        Rukdug
        June 26, 2019 at 12:54 am | #

        Is there room for another?

    • Happilychaotic
      Happilychaotic
      June 26, 2019 at 5:20 am | #

      Will there be T-shirts?

  15. Piotr W
    Piotr W
    June 26, 2019 at 12:18 am | #

    Wow, I didn’t realize Amber’s social anxiety is *that* bad…

    • insomniac
      insomniac
      June 26, 2019 at 12:21 am | #

      We’ve seen her in flashbacks to four years ago. This is significant progress.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      June 26, 2019 at 1:25 am | #

      It’s probably on heightened status right now, considering everything that’s going on.

  16. Dalexs
    Dalexs
    June 26, 2019 at 12:22 am | #

    Dude’s wearing a turtleneck, how bad could he possibly be?

  17. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    June 26, 2019 at 12:23 am | #

    I’m betting she’d love some Gendo glasses, then no one would know.

  18. William Leonard Reese Jr.
    William Leonard Reese Jr.
    June 26, 2019 at 12:35 am | #

    . . . .I admit that I am finding Asher to be incredibly charming already. Even if the spelling of his name makes me squint whenever I see it. Ashur is how I know it.

    • Axel
      Axel
      June 26, 2019 at 12:50 am | #

      yeah this small, present-time glimpse is fairly endearing. I mean, he might fuck it up pretty fast (thankfully Willis takes no time in making it clear if and how a character is an asshole, so we can sooner make decisions about who we like and hate and dislike as people but like as characters).

      • Axel
        Axel
        June 26, 2019 at 3:01 am | #

        Also he’s rather perceptive (eg, already caught she makes eye contact with Walky when they’ve barely looked at each other and inferred that they are friends)

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      June 26, 2019 at 1:10 am | #

      I guarantee you that if you read Chaim Potok’s novel “My Name is Asher Lev,” you’ll get desensitized to that spelling.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        June 26, 2019 at 8:00 am | #

        You will however not be able to think of him as anything other than a Hasidic Jew. 🙂

  19. Rukdug
    Rukdug
    June 26, 2019 at 12:52 am | #

    Well, so far Asher’s handling his (re?) introduction to the comic pretty well.

    • ShinyNeen
      ShinyNeen
      June 26, 2019 at 12:56 am | #

      Yeah, he’s really taking control of the situation. The situation of being surprised by a stranger coming out of the bushes talking about his attractiveness. M-maybe this isn’t the first time it’s happened to him?

  20. Bagge
    Bagge
    June 26, 2019 at 12:59 am | #

    Honestly not a bad plan. Being incredibly awkward at him gives a pretty good clue of what kind of person he is.

    • Marsh Maryrose
      Marsh Maryrose
      June 26, 2019 at 1:21 am | #

      “Amber uses Awkwardness! It’s kinda effective!”

  21. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    June 26, 2019 at 1:22 am | #

    Amber can pretend Asher’s chest is on his face – that might help.

    I’m just loving how Walky is a part of Amber’s super-Rolodex now.

  22. C.T Phipps
    C.T Phipps
    June 26, 2019 at 1:35 am | #

    Male Sal!

    Mal!

    Evil!

  23. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    June 26, 2019 at 1:39 am | #

    Amber is like Joyce looking at Billie’s breasts.

    Amber: “I want to be protected by your chest!”
    Asher: “…”

  24. brute
    brute
    June 26, 2019 at 1:41 am | #

    i very much dislike this eye contact-obsessed man

    leave us be, we can’t help it
    (yes i know everyone is saying Bridge of Nose but even the face is still too much for me; i have a lot of problems)

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      June 26, 2019 at 1:47 am | #

      He wants to assert his dominance over the interaction, but instead of T-posing like a normal goddamn person, he’s decided his eyes are worth looking at.

    • Zero
      Zero
      June 26, 2019 at 1:58 am | #

      Fair, but… I mean look at what he’s reacting to.

      Amber popped out of the bushes talking about how hot he is and Walky is still hiding while talking out loud as though being unseen makes him inaudible. How is he meant to react?

    • Zee
      Zee
      June 26, 2019 at 9:26 am | #

      Okay but this girl jumped out of the bushes declaring how hot he is, and now she’s staring at his chest and neck. If the genders were reversed here, the issue at hand would be glaring

  25. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    June 26, 2019 at 1:41 am | #

    How about we all collectively stop pretending to like eye contact? It’s worthless and only serves to make people uncomfortable, so why bother with it?

    • Masumi
      Masumi
      June 26, 2019 at 3:07 am | #

      At first I thought ‘yeah it would probably be weird to talk to someone while they’re staring at your chest’ and then I realized I wouldn’t know because noticing would require me to look at their eyes…
      So, seconded.

    • CJ
      CJ
      June 26, 2019 at 11:51 am | #

      Eye contact can be great. If I happen to feel like it.

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        June 26, 2019 at 1:10 pm | #

        What, specifically, is great about it?

        • Sam
          Sam
          June 26, 2019 at 4:27 pm | #

          Only really that it can give you the illusion that the other person is paying attention. Which they may or may not be. I can be staring a hole through someone and not remember a word they said.

    • He Who Abides
      He Who Abides
      June 26, 2019 at 5:04 pm | #

      I’ll vote for that, just because my fiancee hates being told “Eyes are up here” (she’s 4’9″) and I want to support her.

  26. Darkoneko
    Darkoneko
    June 26, 2019 at 2:36 am | #

    Walky’s leaving her alone up there LOL.
    Well, I guess it’s too much to ask him to be a good wingman

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      June 26, 2019 at 4:26 am | #

      Well, he is sort of worried about Sal’s hooligan former associate pummelling him into a thin, homogenous paste. However, I do think that Asher’s is going to be more concerned about stopping Amber hyperventilating and going into catatonia at this rate!

  27. fire_daws
    fire_daws
    June 26, 2019 at 2:42 am | #

    This is going well.

  28. Shane Wegner
    Shane Wegner
    June 26, 2019 at 2:44 am | #

    MYSTERY SOLVED I GUESS!
    OH wait this mission has been a near total failure so far. I mean they confirmed Asher is present. Probably. If Walky saw him because Amber doesn’t even know for sure what he looks like. Maybe they could show her a picture later.

  29. Chris Phoenix
    Chris Phoenix
    June 26, 2019 at 2:58 am | #

    OK, so this eye contact thing…

    I have no problem making eye contact with anyone, but how much to make differs depending on the other person’s social background. It’s kind of like personal space, or how firm to make your handshake, but apparently even more important.

    Figure it out in the moment, get it right instantly, because if you get it wrong you’re either cold/weird or creepy/weird. First impressions only happen once! Mind-read this person you’ve never met, or be judged a social misfit!

    Never mind that the problem as stated is totally asymmetrical. The other person is Right by default, and you must match what they want, or be Wrong.

    Somehow, most people get it right without thinking about it, or get it wrong and skate past it, or something. But you – you get it Wrong by default, so now you must get it Right via careful study and conscious effort.

    Oh yeah, and act natural, and be yourself. Those two things are very important. People can tell if you’re faking. Don’t make others uncomfortable.

    Now go out and be social! Make friends! Get a job! Find a romantic partner! Don’t stress so much about this! What are you, neurotic?

    • Happilychaotic
      Happilychaotic
      June 26, 2019 at 5:17 am | #

      Yes. This.

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      June 26, 2019 at 8:03 am | #

      The trick is of course that the other person doesn’t really get it right without thinking about it, they’ve got the same monologue running through their brain and they can’t tell you’re faking it either. 🙂

      Not always of course, but far more often than we think.

      • Clif
        Clif
        June 26, 2019 at 12:51 pm | #

        The people who can say, screw it, and relax have an advantage. Being able to say screw it is a learned skill. It is, however, not without its own disadvantages.

    • Foxhack
      Foxhack
      June 27, 2019 at 12:02 am | #

      I don’t make eye contact because people get freaked out.

  30. BenRG
    BenRG
    June 26, 2019 at 3:00 am | #

    I think that Asher and Walky should be genuinely concerned about Amber blacking out from a panic attack at this point!

  31. Pl0x
    Pl0x
    June 26, 2019 at 4:06 am | #

    My eye contact wanders a lot, partially because I’m uncomfortable and also for no real reason, but I do try to look at their eyes occasionally or other facial feature.

  32. Akp
    Akp
    June 26, 2019 at 4:39 am | #

    Asher gives me Sal vibes.

    Also I really feel Amber here.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      June 26, 2019 at 5:21 am | #

      It would be hugely ironic if Asher and Sal run into each other and hit it off based on rueful recollections of what totally brain-damaged idiots they were when they were kids.

      • Akp
        Akp
        June 26, 2019 at 2:59 pm | #

        Now I really want that to happen.

  33. He Who Abides
    He Who Abides
    June 26, 2019 at 4:56 am | #

    I love when a character is too flustered to speak English good. And this is one of the most broken I’ve seen while still getting what they’re saying. It shouldn’t make me laugh as much as it does, but it does.

  34. Happilychaotic
    Happilychaotic
    June 26, 2019 at 5:16 am | #

    This is me.

  35. Catman
    Catman
    June 26, 2019 at 7:00 am | #

    Maybe I’m going insane, but Asher looks like he’s about to cry

  36. Marie
    Marie
    June 26, 2019 at 9:08 am | #

    I can relate to this so much!

    Also, I love all the awesome, astute, and hilarious comments – thanks!

  37. Zee
    Zee
    June 26, 2019 at 9:36 am | #

    I get it, I hate eye contact too, but I feel like people are forgetting the context of what Asher is seeing here so let’s lay it out from his perspective:
    – you just stepped out of class for a break
    – some random weirdo girl jumped out of the bushes declaring how hot you are
    – apparently she has some other weirdo friend also watching you from the bushes
    – you want an explanation, but she won’t stop staring at your chest and neck
    Dude probably feels hella objectified. “My eyes are up here” is a pretty common response to someone staring at your body in a way you feel is disrespectful

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      June 26, 2019 at 10:30 am | #

      It is, but it’s mostly a woman’s response: some dude staring at her breasts. Guys aren’t as commonly objectified and not usually in the same ways.

      • ǝ snow ʍousɐ
        ǝ snow ʍousɐ
        June 26, 2019 at 11:22 am | #

        I mean, it’s not like you can see anything through his shirt anyway.

      • not someone else
        not someone else
        June 26, 2019 at 11:30 pm | #

        It’s not uncommon for Asian dudes specifically to have to deal with being objectified, given how anime fandom and then K-pop have progressed, and the lesser experience with negative feedback means women willing to go that far sometimes go really far.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      June 26, 2019 at 1:05 pm | #

      Why does it matter where she looks? Explanations don’t require looking in specific directions.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        June 26, 2019 at 5:57 pm | #

        It really is the ‘remarking he’s hot from the bushes, then staring and behaving in a way that could be perceived as distracted by sexiness’ factor. The start point is objectively creepy, which casts the rest of her behavior in a bad light. If Asher doesn’t have much experience with people who aren’t neurotypical he’s not going to have a frame of reference for this beyond the starting creepiness. (And we have no clue whatsoever about that.)

        • Rowen Morland
          Rowen Morland
          June 26, 2019 at 8:24 pm | #

          Well either way he’s dealing with a stranger. Taking charge of the conversation this way is either about controlling risk or controlling her.

  38. Clif
    Clif
    June 26, 2019 at 12:55 pm | #

    “What friend?” is a pertinent question. Walky got her into this.

    • Schpoonman
      Schpoonman
      June 26, 2019 at 6:49 pm | #

      I’m all for more Wambulance, but ugh, Walky.

  39. Br44n5m
    Br44n5m
    June 26, 2019 at 11:55 pm | #

    Bridge of the nose and they won’t be able to tell the difference

  40. Meagan
    Meagan
    June 27, 2019 at 12:35 am | #

    Lampshading that Amber will make eye contact with Walky. Willis is a shipper.

  41. HeatherJean
    HeatherJean
    June 28, 2019 at 7:33 am | #

    From Walky’s line in the last panel it would seem he doesn’t believe Amber’s social anxiety is real, and that it’s just something she uses to protect her secret identity, like glasses, costume, different hairdo and voice. Instead of “mild-mannered reporter” she’s “social-anxiety-ridden student,” to keep her alter-ego secret.
    I’m not sure if she’s told him anything that couldn’t be construed that way either.

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