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I’m pretty sure that if a scientist could somehow scoop up the DoA comment section in a bucket, pour it out onto a slab, and then splash it with the Elixir of Life, it would arise, declare “I AM CARLA” and then warp into the reality of the comic strip and take up residence.
Well, Neutronium is a hypothetical substance composed entirely of neutrons [or, alternatively, a substance derived from the core of a neutron star]. Meanwhile, something is only referred to as an alloy when the material is composed of two or more metallic elements.
Basic neutron matter is classified as a noble gas, meaning that neutronium theoretically would share a similar classification. Alternatively, by some proposals, Neutronium would actually be a fluid. Regardless, Neutronium isn’t a substance associated with being a metal, much less a compound of multiple metal elements.
Therefore we can determine that Neutron Star Alloy would likely either be composed of some combination of metallic materials found within neutron star, or would be a combination of neutronium with multiple metallic elements.
In short, there’s no intuitive reason why Neutron Star Alloy would be required to have any direct connection to Neutronium, and such a label would also indicate aspects that are not inherent to Neutronium, further giving the terms cause to not be used interchangably with one another.
Put another way, Malaya is too anti-trend to just be content with being a vaguely defined, controversial, fictional element. No, she has to be a tangentially related compound substance that is even more unclear and complex and unrealistic in nature.
Classic Malaya.
Not to mention her refusing even to adhere to any of the accepted physical forms of the original label. No, her body is just too unique to accept such mundane forms. Besides, a metal body just has such better results when stepping on someone than a fluid or gaseous body, amirite?
I like how Sal and Marcie went from holding hands to arm around shoulder. If not for Carla, I shudder to think what they’d do to get it into Malaya’s head.
Mind Seed
Telepathy (Compulsion) [ Mind-Affecting]
Level: Technopath 8
Display: Mental
Manifesting Time: 1 standard action
Range: within ear shot
Target: One Medium or smaller humanoid
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates
You call attention to some plot, ending the current predicament
..every time I try to catch a pokemon I get a sickly Fearow or a stoned DigDug. I’m not sure whether to be disappointed or relieved that I have yet to catch a Carla. Well, her or a talking Pikachu; I hear those are “in”.
I’m not sure if Carla said that in order to help or if she just wants to watch Marcie and Sal make out. Honestly either one is fine with me at this point, Carla is a delight.
Why is Marcie so focused on Malaya, she doesn’t seem like she would be a very attentive partner, or seems to like long term relationships. Is Marcie just looking for a onenightstand?
Marcie thinks Malaya’s hot as hell, and enjoys her company. If that’s solely because she’s hot, it’s hard to say. She does sometimes seem a bit irritated with her, but that’s rare. Usually seems to like being around her.
On one hand. Marcies digs Malaya’s arse, and cannot lie. On the other hand Malaya is making the effort to learn Ameslan so as to be about to converse with Marcie, and not a lot of other people have done that.
Desire and infatuation have very little to do with logic or perceptible reality. Hopefully, Marcie is going to make sufficiently an ass of herself in the face of Carla’s provocation that it will cure Marcie quite nicely.
The heart wants what it wants (or the hormones). And there’s a BIG difference between being in love and being in lust (and you know what? you usually figure which one you’re exiting rather than on entry).
So if, for example, it was really important to Marcie that you step on Malaya’s neck in these high-heel boots in front of me, nice and slowly, you’d do that, right? …For Marcie?
Carla’s tellin’ a fib that could be debunked by a 108° turn. That makes her the most morally corrupt character in the strip, right? We all have to dogpile and condemn her, now?
HOLY SHIT SHE’S FINGERING HER AS WE SPEAK. SHE’S GOING DOWN. GOOD GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’M SEEING. RIGHT IN THE CAFETERIA. I GUESS PUSSY WAS ON THE MENU, AMIRIGHT MALAYA!?
Malaya is a terrible judge of character. She thinks Sal is an attention bongo while the narcisist and attention monster Carla hangs out with her almost on a daily basis. I think Malaya just hates Sal for irrational reasons, like many bullies.
Malaya probably thinks Carla’s an attention whore too but Carla is very open about it and is actively obnoxious, so if Malaya was gonna have a problem with her she’d have already had it.
It might be naiveté. Like she sees Sal’s tough persona and thinks it must be fake. But Sal tries to commit a crime to help her friend who got a raw deal, got stabbed in the hand, and then got sent away from her family maybe to some kind of discipline school for girls. It might be Malaya just imagine any of that, or maybe her own background is so rough she sees that as lightweight stuff. I don’t know any particular adversity in Malaya’s background. If she’s assuming Sal had a bland, ordinary suburban upbringing and is fronting everything else, she’s wrong.
The pretend to like Marcie plan is still a dingus goofus plan though, which sort of ironically proves Malaya right on the character front- if she detects any of it.
Carla’s point is that Malaya is incapable of perceiving anything that she does not want to perceive and, probably, even perceives it through a thick filter of her own delusion of reality.
Meanwhile, based on panel 5, poor Marcie would be giggling madly by now if it weren’t for the damage to her voice box. It is an incredibly humorous situation to be in!
She thinks it’s funny and she wants to see Malaya suffer a little (ideally, self-inflicted suffering). So, she’s pushing things ahead as quickly as she can.
I suspect that it will be both. It makes Malaya jealous and leaves Sal and Marcie with mixed feelings about whether they want it to stay just as a scam.
Possible Unintended Consequence: Malaya grabs Sal and starts making out with her. Thus we see that this entire thing had basically been Malaya attempting the Calvin and Hobbes Seduction Method (metaphorically pulling Sal’s hair so she’ll pay attention to her).
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OH SHIT IT’S CANON
Last modified 5/9/2014?!
Willis, your buffer is truly impressive.
Maybe, but I suspect someone of messing with the time stream.
And now I will be disappointed if that is not the next panel.
Though honestly, Malaya’s brain exploding would work too.
Well, it won’t be exactly that, as the clothes are wrong. But I take your point.
next comic: “Wait, wait, we gotta change… for… foreplay reasons…”
I’m pretty sure that if a scientist could somehow scoop up the DoA comment section in a bucket, pour it out onto a slab, and then splash it with the Elixir of Life, it would arise, declare “I AM CARLA” and then warp into the reality of the comic strip and take up residence.
You mean it didn’t already?
It’s only science if it’s repeatable.
now keess
“Totally?”
“Somewhat…actually.”
“Get back to me when it’s totally.”
I hope it ends with Malaya getting punched!
I don’t see how, but I kinda want that, too, albeit be it verbally. Actual punching is reserved for people who are more of a jerk. She’s
By someone other than Sal. Because Sal would definitely hate herself for doing that, even if she really really wanted to do it.
Paging Dr Mike.
Paging Dr Mike.
Emergency pugnus faciem suspendisse required stat.
Everyone who has picked a fight with Malaya has been hit back by Malaya.. She’s not the type to just take it and let it go.
On one hand Malaya is incredibly dense, on the other hand Malaya is incredibly dense.
I thought the term was “thicc”?
Not until her mid-twenties.
Neutron Star Alloy, that’s what little Malayas are made of.
Neutronium, it’s called neutronium.
Well, Neutronium is a hypothetical substance composed entirely of neutrons [or, alternatively, a substance derived from the core of a neutron star]. Meanwhile, something is only referred to as an alloy when the material is composed of two or more metallic elements.
Basic neutron matter is classified as a noble gas, meaning that neutronium theoretically would share a similar classification. Alternatively, by some proposals, Neutronium would actually be a fluid. Regardless, Neutronium isn’t a substance associated with being a metal, much less a compound of multiple metal elements.
Therefore we can determine that Neutron Star Alloy would likely either be composed of some combination of metallic materials found within neutron star, or would be a combination of neutronium with multiple metallic elements.
In short, there’s no intuitive reason why Neutron Star Alloy would be required to have any direct connection to Neutronium, and such a label would also indicate aspects that are not inherent to Neutronium, further giving the terms cause to not be used interchangably with one another.
Put another way, Malaya is too anti-trend to just be content with being a vaguely defined, controversial, fictional element. No, she has to be a tangentially related compound substance that is even more unclear and complex and unrealistic in nature.
Classic Malaya.
Not to mention her refusing even to adhere to any of the accepted physical forms of the original label. No, her body is just too unique to accept such mundane forms. Besides, a metal body just has such better results when stepping on someone than a fluid or gaseous body, amirite?
Clearly that’s what this was all about.
(I mean, Neutronium is a more intuitive association to the initial topic of “dense”, of course. I just have a weird sense of humor. :P)
In short…
~.^
I think this old bird says it best, starting about half way through…
https://youtu.be/ow8fWb66XnE
Heaven bless you, Carla
She is an engineer, she solves problems with that big brain of hers.
That’s more smashing the problem with a big stick.
Which admittedly is also a very engineer thing to do.
And if that doesn’t work, use more stick.
Engineers are trained to come up with solutions that WORK, not solutions that are subtle or elegant.
For subtle and elegant solutions you’ve got designers. Thought it doesn’t necessarily work.
What if subtlety and stealth are required features of the solution space?
Then you need designers and engineers to cooperate. Probably not worth the effort.
You could say that the first human to come up with the idea of smashing things with a big stick was also the first engineer.
…. nonono, you need to be able to work out the MATH of smashing things with a big stick before you count as an engineer.
As my prof described it – Engineering is math but louder.
I have a t-shirt that says that.
For free. Or for cookies. Preferably cookies.
I mean, yeah, if Malaya thinks you WANT attention, you won’t get it.
And ohhhhh this just gets funnier as it goes.
I like how Sal and Marcie went from holding hands to arm around shoulder. If not for Carla, I shudder to think what they’d do to get it into Malaya’s head.
Next duel we need: Carla versus Becky, the protocol being shouting uncomfortable truths to the world.
This is an uncomfortable lie, though.
Depends how enthusiastic Carla’s headcanon is.
Carla: The Plot Advancer-er
Mind Seed
Telepathy (Compulsion) [ Mind-Affecting]
Level: Technopath 8
Display: Mental
Manifesting Time: 1 standard action
Range: within ear shot
Target: One Medium or smaller humanoid
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Will negates
You call attention to some plot, ending the current predicament
No plan survives first contact with Carla.
Carla is helping.
Yep. She is advancing the plan more unsubtly than Sal and Marcie initially planned, but their mistake was trying subtlety in the first place.
You see, Sal? Having Carla around is actually useful!
BTW. Sal and Marcie’s faces in panel 4 :))))
Look everybody, Carla’s “helping”
It’s super effective.
..every time I try to catch a pokemon I get a sickly Fearow or a stoned DigDug. I’m not sure whether to be disappointed or relieved that I have yet to catch a Carla. Well, her or a talking Pikachu; I hear those are “in”.
“BoJack helping?”
Is a BoJack like a Candlejack?
..oh, wait. Oh, no. Oh, shi-
I was referencing this clip – https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/e3bb0e50-c09d-41d8-9861-fecf25563ce7
Hey, what happened to your comment? You started talking about Candlejack and then you-
I’m not sure if Carla said that in order to help or if she just wants to watch Marcie and Sal make out. Honestly either one is fine with me at this point, Carla is a delight.
Dunno, I always thought Carla’s distaste for the thought of spit-swapping extended to watching other people swap spit too.
No, she just loves a good train wreck.
Good point. And as an engineer, she’s great at arranging them.
She’s a supervillain specializing in arranging train wrecks?
..so she’s Ms. Glass, then?
Okay, a bald-headed jock-type as her opposing entity, right?
So Jacob? Or would her counterpart be gender-swapped as well?
I just hope the rest of DoA doesn’t go full Shyamalan.
You never want to go full Shyamalan.
Panel 2: Well, that’s an advance on Sal’s original “Hell no, ah ain’t fuckin’ yah” position. http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-5/03-the-butterflies-fly-away/fuck/
Did any other $1 Patreon backers get this strip emailed to them yesterday? Those hospital painkillers Willis is on must be pretty good stuff.
Why is Marcie so focused on Malaya, she doesn’t seem like she would be a very attentive partner, or seems to like long term relationships. Is Marcie just looking for a onenightstand?
The harmones want what the harmones want.
Marcie thinks Malaya’s hot as hell, and enjoys her company. If that’s solely because she’s hot, it’s hard to say. She does sometimes seem a bit irritated with her, but that’s rare. Usually seems to like being around her.
On one hand. Marcies digs Malaya’s arse, and cannot lie. On the other hand Malaya is making the effort to learn Ameslan so as to be about to converse with Marcie, and not a lot of other people have done that.
this is a very good point. Good on Malaya for that.
90% of my taste in women is people who are completely incompatible with me from a personality standpoint.
Desire and infatuation have very little to do with logic or perceptible reality. Hopefully, Marcie is going to make sufficiently an ass of herself in the face of Carla’s provocation that it will cure Marcie quite nicely.
The heart wants what it wants (or the hormones). And there’s a BIG difference between being in love and being in lust (and you know what? you usually figure which one you’re exiting rather than on entry).
Quietly requests Do-Re-Mi’s be cued up on the hacked musak.
Ok, Mucked up the HTML, but the link for “Man Overboard” works at least!
So if, for example, it was really important to Marcie that you step on Malaya’s neck in these high-heel boots in front of me, nice and slowly, you’d do that, right? …For Marcie?
*slow claps* You are doing God’s work, Carla.
I AM HELPING!!!
Problem solved, thereby owning them by showing her superiority.
Pfft, Carla really is going for the nuclear option, huh.
On one hand, she’s doing it to troll Sal, but on the other, she might be on the right track to make sure Malaya bites.
The right tool for the right job. Sometimes a baseball bat is the right tool.
Baseball bat? This is a steamroller at least.
Very good tool for roadbuilding.
Carla’s tellin’ a fib that could be debunked by a 108° turn. That makes her the most morally corrupt character in the strip, right? We all have to dogpile and condemn her, now?
Yeah, step on Carla!
HOLY SHIT SHE’S FINGERING HER AS WE SPEAK. SHE’S GOING DOWN. GOOD GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’M SEEING. RIGHT IN THE CAFETERIA. I GUESS PUSSY WAS ON THE MENU, AMIRIGHT MALAYA!?
Malaya is a terrible judge of character. She thinks Sal is an attention bongo while the narcisist and attention monster Carla hangs out with her almost on a daily basis. I think Malaya just hates Sal for irrational reasons, like many bullies.
Malaya probably thinks Carla’s an attention whore too but Carla is very open about it and is actively obnoxious, so if Malaya was gonna have a problem with her she’d have already had it.
It might be naiveté. Like she sees Sal’s tough persona and thinks it must be fake. But Sal tries to commit a crime to help her friend who got a raw deal, got stabbed in the hand, and then got sent away from her family maybe to some kind of discipline school for girls. It might be Malaya just imagine any of that, or maybe her own background is so rough she sees that as lightweight stuff. I don’t know any particular adversity in Malaya’s background. If she’s assuming Sal had a bland, ordinary suburban upbringing and is fronting everything else, she’s wrong.
The pretend to like Marcie plan is still a dingus goofus plan though, which sort of ironically proves Malaya right on the character front- if she detects any of it.
What could possibly go right?
Sometimes Carla’s help is the best help.
Carla’s point is that Malaya is incapable of perceiving anything that she does not want to perceive and, probably, even perceives it through a thick filter of her own delusion of reality.
Meanwhile, based on panel 5, poor Marcie would be giggling madly by now if it weren’t for the damage to her voice box. It is an incredibly humorous situation to be in!
It’s on her shirt, literally
“I’m helping !”
I’d say Carla should be a bit more subtle about this, but this is subtle.for her, isn’t it?
She thinks it’s funny and she wants to see Malaya suffer a little (ideally, self-inflicted suffering). So, she’s pushing things ahead as quickly as she can.
.. This could actually work. Or backfire horribly. Can’t wait to find out.
I suspect that it will be both. It makes Malaya jealous and leaves Sal and Marcie with mixed feelings about whether they want it to stay just as a scam.
Possible Unintended Consequence: Malaya grabs Sal and starts making out with her. Thus we see that this entire thing had basically been Malaya attempting the Calvin and Hobbes Seduction Method (metaphorically pulling Sal’s hair so she’ll pay attention to her).
That was my first thought as well.
ANYTHING to make this arc move forward faster.
Sal: . . . We`ll see.
Carla: Yes, we will.
I swear, these Slipshine strips just write themselves.
Ah, there it is. The fuckening.
It will turn out Malaya will want to start making out with Sal than with Marcie.
Plan will backfire.
NOW PAY ATTENTION TO ME!
what if this is just an elaborate plan to get malaya all to carlas awesome self
naah, not enough insane contraptions, its just a fanfic trope
Two big grins.
New gravatar in
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