Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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June 1, 2026

Recrimination

by David M Willis on February 25, 2020 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - To Remind You of My Love
└ Tags: jennifer, ruth

Discussion (99) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    February 25, 2020 at 12:03 am | #

    even Billie’s ponytail is tense

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      February 25, 2020 at 12:04 am | #

      Past, present, or future?

      • nobodybasically
        nobodybasically
        February 25, 2020 at 12:23 am | #

        Subjunctive

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          February 25, 2020 at 12:43 am | #

          Moody ponytail!

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            February 25, 2020 at 2:14 am | #

            Ponytails of Future Passed?

            • clif
              clif
              February 25, 2020 at 7:48 am | #

              Perfect!

              • TomHCinMI
                TomHCinMI
                February 26, 2020 at 12:08 am | #

                Which aspect of her ponytail are you discoursing upon?

                • clif
                  clif
                  February 26, 2020 at 1:10 am | #

                  Future Perfect Tense.

                • thejeff
                  thejeff
                  February 26, 2020 at 7:19 am | #

                  That was abandoned when it was discovered not to be.

          • Kaidah
            Kaidah
            February 25, 2020 at 8:56 am | #

            Didn’t Moody Ponytail open for Poorly Repressed Teenage Lust last week?

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          February 25, 2020 at 8:06 am | #

          Will-on haven ponytail?

        • Ray
          Ray
          February 25, 2020 at 11:49 am | #

          Nominative, Genitive, Dative, Accusative, Ablative, Vocative, or Locative?

          • anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
            anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
            February 25, 2020 at 3:00 pm | #

            I have no idea what all that is – its Greek to me…. or maybe Latin?

            • Bathymetheus
              Bathymetheus
              February 26, 2020 at 12:10 am | #

              It’s latin, but those are declensions, not tenses – they apply to nouns, not verbs.

    • JA
      JA
      February 25, 2020 at 2:46 am | #

      Was going to say. That’s half a cannister of mousse at least.

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    February 25, 2020 at 12:03 am | #

    Billie is actually giving a thoughtful response to all the things Ruth is saying, but she’s speaking directly into the pillow so it just sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher.

  3. shadowcell
    shadowcell
    February 25, 2020 at 12:04 am | #

    Dumbing of Age Book 10: YOU’RE a Volcano of Self-Loathing and Self-Recrimination

  4. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    February 25, 2020 at 12:05 am | #

    Why do I have the feeling that non of the ships in DoA is going to survive until the last episode when Willis does an epilogue showing what each did with their lives? I mean, the ships in DoA are close as volatile as the ships in Homestuck.

    • tim gueguen
      tim gueguen
      February 25, 2020 at 12:14 am | #

      The only one I can see lasting is Becky and Dina. Walky has lots more growing up before he’ll be able to make a relationship work. In the end Billie and Ruth probably aren’t healthy for each other.

      • MatthewTheLucky
        MatthewTheLucky
        February 25, 2020 at 12:29 am | #

        What about the most stable ship, EthanxStarscream?

      • Hazel
        Hazel
        February 25, 2020 at 12:36 am | #

        I think they have the potential to become a healthy, happy, long-term couple. Especially with Ruth starting on antidepressants and therapy and Billie going sober. They have come a long way from being a love-hate suicide pact couple in only a few months. Will they get married and grow old together? Who knows (Willis does). But they have made a lasting impact on each other.

        • Sombrero
          Sombrero
          February 25, 2020 at 6:31 am | #

          Yes! Billie/Ruth is THE ship of this strip. If and when it ends, the strip will end (or transform into something entirely different).

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        February 25, 2020 at 12:42 am | #

        There’s a couple ships I can see happening that aren’t actually things yet but could work out long-term (Joyce/Joe, Danny/Sal or Danny/Ethan depending,) and ones that were canon, broke up, but I wouldn’t count out entirely if the right combo of character development and not falling into old bad habits occurs (Walky/Dorothy and Amber-AG/Danny).

        Ruth/Billie feels like one to me where it may not last forever, but hopefully the way it’s motivating them both to try and work on their mental health now makes it a net positive even if it runs its course.

        I can definitely see Dina/Becky lasting through college, though that may also be wishful thinking and/or an inability to really see them with other people on my part. Initial reboundyness on Becky’s part aside, she clearly adores Dina and they go together well.

        Grace/Sierra/Mandy is definitely also a thing I can see lasting. (No, I’m not just saying this because of their Walkyverse counterparts, why do you ask?… Of course I’m just saying this we never see Grace or Mandy and rarer still see them with Sierra.)

        I fully believe Peter and Mary get Rush Evangelical Married so they can have guilt-free sex, then the hormones wear off and they’re left with either a nasty divorce or years of quiet, simmering resentment. So basically the Walkyverse but without the ‘pregnancy as punishment’ subtext. (Which is specifically why I’m not suggesting they have premarital sex/‘Well, ACTUALLY, it wasn’t penetrative PIV so I’m still a virgin!’ shit and a pregnancy scare – the ground’s been covered and it would feel too close to the punishment subtext that was very much present in Roomies’ handling of things.) That’s technically an endgame ship but like, in only the loosest and least pleasant sense of the term. (Barring an EXTREME change of heart on Mary’s part, I’m pretty sure her future looks like that regardless, it’s just a matter of what shitty evangelical dude she picks. Peter’s just enough of a character outside Mary to imply that he is actually like this as well.)

    • clif
      clif
      February 25, 2020 at 1:02 am | #

      Willis does an epilogue showing what each did with their lives? That would be cool and should buy us another ten years of comics.

    • Happilychaotic
      Happilychaotic
      February 25, 2020 at 6:01 am | #

      Wait, what do you mean by this “last episode” thing? This comic shall last forever! (Otherwise, where would I get my daily dose of dumbing?)

      • MutantSentry
        MutantSentry
        February 25, 2020 at 10:42 am | #

        If this goes all the way to graduation at the rate we are moving through just the first semester that will happen roughly a week after the Heat Death of the Universe

        I am curious as to how this will handle their summer breaks. We should prep for massive cast expansion, as almost everyone goes back to their home towns. We are gonna see parents, siblings, high school friends who either didn’t go to college or went somewhere else, summer job co-workers…

        Of course we haven’t even gotten to Thanksgiving break yet so that is a loooong way off

        • Slartibeast Button, BIA
          Slartibeast Button, BIA
          February 25, 2020 at 2:00 pm | #

          Our best hope is the Singularity, so that Willis gets uploaded into a cyberspace body and overclocks his time rate and can do hundreds of strips per day.

          (Of course by then, we will also be uploaded and have accelerated time sense, so a day will feel like a decade, so …)

      • Alan in DC
        Alan in DC
        February 25, 2020 at 4:46 pm | #

        REAL dumbing?
        I recommend Conservative AM Talk Radio.

    • anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
      anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
      February 25, 2020 at 3:11 pm | #

      When we were young the future was so bright (Woah)
      The old neighbourhood was so alive (Woah)
      And every kid on the whole damn street (Woah)
      Was gonna make it big and not be beat
      Now the neighbourhood’s cracked and torn (Woah)
      The kids are grown up but their lives are worn (Woah)
      How can one little street
      Swallow so many lives?

      Chances thrown, nothing’s free
      Longing for what used to be
      Still it’s hard, hard to see
      Fragile lives, shattered dreams

      • He Who Abides
        He Who Abides
        February 25, 2020 at 5:30 pm | #

        God, I both love and am depressed by that song.

    • shadowcell
      shadowcell
      February 26, 2020 at 12:09 am | #

      well i mean in 5 billion years the sun in its death throes will probably have expanded far enough to engulf the Earth, at which point DoA will probably still be halfway through senior year…

  5. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    February 25, 2020 at 12:05 am | #

    *plays The Monkees’ “A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You” on the hacked Muzak*

    • clif
      clif
      February 25, 2020 at 12:47 am | #

      You put a lot of thought into this.

  6. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    February 25, 2020 at 12:06 am | #

    I hope Billie eventually reaches a point where she is stable and can appreciate how much Ruth cares. In some ways Billie reminds me of a friend of my own so I do wish the best for her as a result, even if she isn’t putting for an effort.

    • JetstreamGW
      JetstreamGW
      February 25, 2020 at 12:16 am | #

      She does appreciate it though. That’s why she tried to push her away.

      The problem isn’t that she doesn’t appreciate Ruth, the problem is that she can’t imagine deserving it. And she hasn’t really gotten the notion that it doesn’t really matter what someone deserves.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        February 25, 2020 at 12:20 am | #

        Yeah, Billie’s been masking depression well enough and the spotlight’s been on other things long enough we kind of forget that she IS clearly and significantly depressed, but then you get moments like earlier.

  7. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    February 25, 2020 at 12:06 am | #

    I feel like we’re… going in a healthy direction, just, we’re taking one hell of a bumpy ride there.

  8. Rose by Any Other Name
    Rose by Any Other Name
    February 25, 2020 at 12:06 am | #

    I mean, it can be nice AND self-loathing self-recrimination. Billie can mean it AND use it to hurt herself. She’s a creative girl, that Billie.

    • clif
      clif
      February 25, 2020 at 12:48 am | #

      Cheerleader. Problem solved.

      • clif
        clif
        February 25, 2020 at 1:03 am | #

        … Solver.

        • Rose by Any Other Name
          Rose by Any Other Name
          February 25, 2020 at 7:28 am | #

          I mean, both work really.
          Problem Solver? Problem Solved.

  9. poofdepoof
    poofdepoof
    February 25, 2020 at 12:06 am | #

    Poor Ruth! Good luck to both of them.

  10. BBCC
    BBCC
    February 25, 2020 at 12:09 am | #

    Oh these two. It’s always a little of both ain’t it?

  11. Miri
    Miri
    February 25, 2020 at 12:10 am | #

    … It’s good to share core values? Makes for a solid foundation?

    But ouch.

  12. Chaucer59
    Chaucer59
    February 25, 2020 at 12:22 am | #

    I realize in DOA time, it’s still the next day (I think), but in real time it’s 49 days since we saw Mike plunge headlong from the stairway.

    • StClair
      StClair
      February 25, 2020 at 12:24 am | #

      Let it go. Seriously.
      At this point, it’s quite obvious (at least to me) that Willis will tell us when he wants to, and not a day before.
      Best to not talk or even think about it until then.

      • clif
        clif
        February 25, 2020 at 12:51 am | #

        Time flies when your having fun.

        Willis will tell us when he wants to, and not a day before.
        And so we should bring it up every chance we get because that’s the kind of people we are.

        • StClair
          StClair
          February 25, 2020 at 1:33 am | #

          Really? I find it pointless and tiresome.

          • Tan
            Tan
            February 25, 2020 at 2:59 am | #

            If you’re only looking at it in terms of influencing the immediate future of the comic, every comment is pointless (Eat Arby’s). Because we know that the next 67 comics are already completed.

            • StClair
              StClair
              February 25, 2020 at 3:07 am | #

              It also fills up the comment threads with a lot of (IMO) “sound and fury, signifying nothing”.

            • StClair
              StClair
              February 25, 2020 at 3:09 am | #

              Like, whether people don’t understand how this works, or are aware and just like to hear themselves talk, either way it adds nothing of value to the discussion.

              • clif
                clif
                February 25, 2020 at 8:26 am | #

                Adds many things. Thoughtful speculation. Occasional humor. The drama of lurking horror. A way to honor the jerk and keep his memory alive if he should happen to actually be dead. Mike is like an onion with many layers and obscure motives and is a gift that keeps on giving. Without Mike, Amber and Ethan are incomplete. Without Mike, Joe and Joyce’s date goes in a more toxic direction and they don’t wind up with their current relationship. Without Mike, your mother would have a more boring life and many fewer or many more nickles (it’s never been clear which).

                When I come across a conversation thread in the comments that I find less interesting, I usually skip over it rather than commanding people not to talk about it. But that’s me. You do you.

              • Jhon
                Jhon
                February 25, 2020 at 9:49 am | #

                Or we can talk about shotguns.

                • clif
                  clif
                  February 25, 2020 at 11:36 am | #

                  Rifles.

                • Roborat
                  Roborat
                  February 25, 2020 at 3:47 pm | #

                  Phones

                • He Who Abides
                  He Who Abides
                  February 25, 2020 at 5:31 pm | #

                  Ponies.

                • Agemegos
                  Agemegos
                  February 25, 2020 at 8:47 pm | #

                  Limousines.

                • clif
                  clif
                  February 26, 2020 at 1:12 am | #

                  Sharp Cellphones.

    • GutterChick
      GutterChick
      February 25, 2020 at 12:50 am | #

      I was like “nah that can’t be right” but it sure is. Feels like winter is passing so fast this year, I see this as a win

  13. deathjavu
    deathjavu
    February 25, 2020 at 12:23 am | #

    The panel 3 *oh shit I’m describing myself* moment is pretty perfect here.

  14. Cmasta1992
    Cmasta1992
    February 25, 2020 at 12:36 am | #

    Toedad and Blaine could start dating and it would be less toxic than this.

    • clif
      clif
      February 25, 2020 at 1:10 am | #

      Depends on who they’re dating. If Toedad and Blaine were dating Mary then it could get pretty toxic.

      • DarkoNeko
        DarkoNeko
        February 25, 2020 at 5:08 am | #

        Blaine, dressed as a superhero/vilain, crying in front of toedad, nailed to the cross…no wait, that was sonic.
        (Also nope nope nope)

        • clif
          clif
          February 25, 2020 at 11:38 am | #

          It sounds like Sonic may have been a great deal more interesting than I assumed.

      • He Who Abides
        He Who Abides
        February 25, 2020 at 5:33 pm | #

        Mary’s toxic enough on her own. Filthy sociopathic sadist, probably knew where each “missing” cat was buried when she was a kid.

  15. Agemegos
    Agemegos
    February 25, 2020 at 12:46 am | #

    Ruth has pants!

    • clif
      clif
      February 25, 2020 at 12:54 am | #

      Willis is in the picture but he’s mostly hidden by Ruth’s hair.

      • clif
        clif
        February 25, 2020 at 12:56 am | #

        Dunno why he doesn’t have a tag tho. 😛

  16. GutterChick
    GutterChick
    February 25, 2020 at 12:47 am | #

    I like how I was Ruth’s age when I went through my first gay love that started off as the first time I was ever happy in my life and slowly deteriorated into an unhealthy toxic mess.

    Then you’re in your late 20s and its just two gay women wanting to be in love but one or the other panics and backs out hard before it even goes anywhere out of fear of those toxic codependent memories, and heartache that still ain’t dead.

    What? No, I’m not feeling gay angst right now

    • RacingTurtle
      RacingTurtle
      February 25, 2020 at 1:08 am | #

      Poor Danny will not be reassured to know that the gayngst and the bangst don’t necessarily end at college graduation. (Sorry about your angst, GutterChick. It sounds rough. 🙁

      • RacingTurtle
        RacingTurtle
        February 25, 2020 at 1:15 am | #

        For anyone that missed it: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2019/comic/book-10/01-birthday-pursuit/bangst/

  17. Bagge
    Bagge
    February 25, 2020 at 1:01 am | #

    They are very self aware in their relationship

  18. clif
    clif
    February 25, 2020 at 1:07 am | #

    Calling it now. Billie is assigned writing Mike’s obituary and manages to make it about her.

    • clif
      clif
      February 25, 2020 at 9:19 am | #

      After all, she went to introduce Ruth and made it about her. It’s kind of a pattern.

  19. Antonio Tyler
    Antonio Tyler
    February 25, 2020 at 1:13 am | #

    “You’re a volcano of self-loathing and self-recrimination.”

    “I’m you.”

  20. Shane
    Shane
    February 25, 2020 at 1:41 am | #

    I thought the whole “you must know her before you know me” was like…. I dunno, does anyone really believe in that?

    “For you see, she is my soul mirror who connects to the depths of my very being.”
    “You’ve known her like 60, maybe 90 days at this point.”

    • Tan
      Tan
      February 25, 2020 at 3:04 am | #

      51

    • Sam
      Sam
      February 25, 2020 at 6:52 am | #

      I think who you date can reflect part of who you are which can be a positive, a negative, or both. In this case, it is both. Billie truly deeply cares about Ruth and Ruth brings out all of Billie’s best traits. She wants to be there for Ruth as she gets better and Ruth brings out honesty in Billie that she doesn’t offer to Sal, Walky, or anyone else.

      But they are also similar in unhealthy ways. Understanding Ruth’s problems gives you insight into Billie’s problems.

      So in some ways, I would say yes, in others I would say no as Ruth obviously isn’t a one to one reflection of Billie and you can’t learn everything about someone through a second person. But it can be easier to get them to learn it that way.

  21. Keulen
    Keulen
    February 25, 2020 at 3:01 am | #

    Volcano of Self-Loathing and Self-Recrimination sounds like a good band name.

    • clif
      clif
      February 25, 2020 at 8:45 am | #

      It does.

    • Sunny
      Sunny
      February 25, 2020 at 9:54 am | #

      But what kind of music would they play?

      • clif
        clif
        February 25, 2020 at 11:46 am | #

        Heavy Metal for a bet. Well, maybe not. There would have to be a reference to a volcano god of self-loathing and nuclear recrimination.

        ((Love Heavy Metal lyrics, but can’t stand actually listening to it for more than about 15 seconds.))

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          February 25, 2020 at 3:48 pm | #

          Heavy metal has lyrics? How can you tell?

        • Kat
          Kat
          February 25, 2020 at 11:37 pm | #

          Check out Symphonic Metal. You get all the cool lyrics of heavy metal, with singers that have actual trained voices and sound good. Until she left the group, the lead of Nightwish was an operatically trained soprano and you could tell.

          • clif
            clif
            February 26, 2020 at 1:19 am | #

            Thank you for the search term!

  22. Booker
    Booker
    February 25, 2020 at 6:07 am | #

    So….am I the only one who still wants to see how bad Dorothy messed up scar-face Ryan?

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      February 25, 2020 at 10:07 am | #

      Dorothy never did anything to Ryan.

      • clif
        clif
        February 25, 2020 at 11:26 am | #

        Yeah, I’m not quite sure how to answer the question. I mean, sure I do, but I’m not sure I want to actually see the damage that Amber did. The damage Dorothy did AFAIK was through her reporting and I’m up for that.

  23. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    February 25, 2020 at 7:36 am | #

    That is a fine consideration. BRAVA Ruth.

  24. Tropicalfreeze
    Tropicalfreeze
    February 25, 2020 at 8:04 am | #

    I like how Billie’s head in panel 3 almost seamlessly transitions into Billie’s posterior in panel 4.

    • Zor
      Zor
      February 25, 2020 at 10:33 am | #

      She truly is a butthead

  25. hof1991
    hof1991
    February 25, 2020 at 9:50 am | #

    I’ll be glad when we know about Mike’s fate, so DYW goes back to posting previews on Tumblr. Makes me think we are about to get a bunch of comics to explain just what happened.

    Oh. And I love this strip’s composition. Ruth going elsewhere to think (no border or background and slightly out of line) and then coming back to finish her thought. Echoes the place Joyce went recently, but Ruth kept Billie with her.

    • Adam Black
      Adam Black
      February 26, 2020 at 12:15 am | #

      At this point he might as put it on Slipshine

  26. Tirachokko
    Tirachokko
    February 25, 2020 at 11:52 am | #

    objectively, it doesn’t matter where these ships go, b.c we’re watching character growth.

    it’s also being shown so slowly that it’s a struggle to remain objective so uh if you’re struggling to not get attached to ships, there’s that

  27. Jhon
    Jhon
    February 25, 2020 at 6:09 pm | #

    Hey, there’s the ‘Dragons’ jersey that Ruth stole from Alice. Nice reminder.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      February 25, 2020 at 8:14 pm | #

      Ruth didn’t steal it from Alice, that’s actually Billie’s (unless that was mentioned in a Patreon comic). She stole an IU jersey from a university cheerleader who posted racial slurs on Facebook, and gave that to Billie.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        February 25, 2020 at 8:48 pm | #

        Wasn’t Ruth giving Billie the letters back one at a time, because reasons? That didn’t go on very long.

        • Diane
          Diane
          February 25, 2020 at 9:18 pm | #

          Ruth stole her uniform, and took off a letter each day she didn’t turn in her roommate agreement. This was before confessions and suicide pact stuff.

  28. Dutch
    Dutch
    February 26, 2020 at 3:54 am | #

    you’re a vulcano of self-loathing and self-recrimination feels like a contender for book title

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