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Narrator: Historians now believe that this was the turning point that set young Rebecca MacIntyre on her new path. Soon the fires of revolution would burn and the bloody reign of Tyrant Empress Becky I would begin. Although the human race would survive, and civilization begin to rebuild, as we toil in the ashes and gaze upon the blood red sky, we can all agree on one thing: This is all Dorothy’s fault!
I mean, I’d say that just deciding in freshman term to transfer into Yale out of nowhere, with no resources worth speaking of save a fixed scholarship, isn’t a very workable plan…
… but Becky DID become a congresswoman’s campaign manager at age 18, by a mix of dumb luck and sheer badassery.
And as such she is in a better position to get into Yale than Dorothy, because Yale receives thousands of applications that look identical to Dorothy’s more or less every semester. You get into a school like Yale by standing out, and by gum Becky does that! Sure she would have to meet the minimum requirements, which it is fairly probable that she currently doesn’t, but after a semester or two there is a very real possibility that she could. I don’t actually know what the requirements for Yale are, but I’m assuming they are largely GPA based, likely some kind of academic competency proof, etc. (I doubt Becky did super great on the SATs, but those aren’t usually a requirement, or at least a firm one, for transfers from other universities, otherwise there wouldn’t be much point in reapplying after getting rejected once)
All hail Tyrant Empress Becky McIntyre, First of Her Name, Bride of Dinosaurs, Destructor of Closets, Goddess-Queen of America, Tremble or Be Destroyed?
The best thing about this strategy is that Becky will never know if Dorothy is playing the long con. Or maybe she will in 20 to 30 years when Dorothy’s president and her house is seized via imminent domain.
A logical person can’t survive big dreams like that without a little insight/acceptance that her big dreams might not come true. She’s trying her very best, but there are a ton of factors outside of her control, many people have attempted and failed, etc.
Dorothy’s just cool for trying anyway.
A Dorothy who wasn’t realistic about her chances that she might not get into Yale would be a Dorothy who hadn’t researched extensively and planned accordingly, and that wouldn’t be Dorothy at all.
I mean I don’t think Becky ACTUALLY hates Dorothy, but Willis has said that Becky sees it as “we’re gonna be frenemies or else I’ll actually start to dislike you.” So, meh.
Cmon Dorothy, at least play long, it’s more fun that way. “Ah yes I truly hate you Becky, that’s why I’m giving you the slightly smaller slice of pizza. MWAHAHAHA!”
I admit it, Becky. I’m more diabolical than you can understand. And I’ll tell you a secret. Joyce doesn’t even know this. How could she not? I don’t know, but she doesn’t. Listen: she’s in love with me. She loves you like a sister, but she head-over-heels for me. And she’ll never have me. Imagine the control I can wield. Imagine the years of torture. And here’s some real torture for you: she’ll never love you as she loves me. Never. No matter how you try. No matter how you yearn. Never. She’s mine. She’ll run to me at the crook of a finger. And before long, I’ll separate her from you altogether. How do you like them apples, sweetheart?
This makes me feel less pissed at Becky since it’s looking like Dorothy plays along. IE She hasn’t told Becky off or to cut it out, she just… Rolls with it. So either Dorothy needs to actually tell Becky to cut it out, or Dorothy actually sees it as a fun bonding activity
Becky is also useful in Dorothy getting experience with general needling pointed assholes should she in fact achieve her dreams of politics. Exactly why she’s her roommate. There are few breaks from that sort of thing in being president and Dorothy probably isn’t into golf. Stress makes Dorothy happy! Or something like that. Wasn’t there an old comic where Dorothy sort of said that.
Granted I don’t think Obama or even Trump had the people he lived with actively dunking on them but eh. She wants those skills to stay sharp.
A stray thought comes to me. Imagine a joining of these two in long term political enterprises. Dorothy’s laser focus and Becky’s undeniable public relation skills could be unstoppable. Indeed the White House might be in sight as they complement each others abilities. Now which one gets to be the leader and which one is the power behind the throne? Could go either way.
Dorothy is order and Becky chaos: together they may achieve balance. I will admit this does make me think Becky would be President and Dorothy VP which she might settle for I suppose (idk if one is whacky and the other sensible I immediately think the wacky one would end up as President though this is not a hard rule). Granted since clearly past VPs can become presidents eventually though it might not be ‘settling’ for Dorothy. Two terms of Becky (with VP Dorothy) and then Two terms of Dorothy. Then the aliens attack their utopia and top pilot Joyce has to come out of retirement.
So, will this realisation make Becky change her ways (because she doesn’t want Joyce to think that she’s a jerk)? Or will she attempt to provoke Dorothy to act out so she seems less a jerk by comparison? You see, Dorothy was almost right. The one person who can change Becky’s friendship with Joyce isn’t Dorothy, it’s Becky herself.
Just gonna put this out there: given the price of an Ivy League education these days, Dorothy might actually be increasing her chances of the presidency by remaining right where she is.
Yeah, she should really be planning for an Ivy post-grad degree anyway. Those work mostly through merit-based scholarships, so she’d be minimizing debt while at the same time getting the part of the credentials that are actually useful.
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“Your fake beef is so salty, Becky”
It’s an older way of keeping the beef preserved, and is less cold than the alternative, but will definitely make it taste worse as a result.
Fake Beef? There’s a version of Beef running around with buck teeth and huge, bushy eyebrows?
Becky: So I have only one recourse…
Dorothy:/ Be civil to m-
Becky: Get into Yale myself before you can!
Narrator: Historians now believe that this was the turning point that set young Rebecca MacIntyre on her new path. Soon the fires of revolution would burn and the bloody reign of Tyrant Empress Becky I would begin. Although the human race would survive, and civilization begin to rebuild, as we toil in the ashes and gaze upon the blood red sky, we can all agree on one thing: This is all Dorothy’s fault!
I mean, I’d say that just deciding in freshman term to transfer into Yale out of nowhere, with no resources worth speaking of save a fixed scholarship, isn’t a very workable plan…
… but Becky DID become a congresswoman’s campaign manager at age 18, by a mix of dumb luck and sheer badassery.
…. I’m scared now.
And as such she is in a better position to get into Yale than Dorothy, because Yale receives thousands of applications that look identical to Dorothy’s more or less every semester. You get into a school like Yale by standing out, and by gum Becky does that! Sure she would have to meet the minimum requirements, which it is fairly probable that she currently doesn’t, but after a semester or two there is a very real possibility that she could. I don’t actually know what the requirements for Yale are, but I’m assuming they are largely GPA based, likely some kind of academic competency proof, etc. (I doubt Becky did super great on the SATs, but those aren’t usually a requirement, or at least a firm one, for transfers from other universities, otherwise there wouldn’t be much point in reapplying after getting rejected once)
Eh. Still an improvement on 2020.
I’ve seen the US’ government options. She can’t possibly be worse.
So, you’re saying…
All hail Tyrant Empress Becky McIntyre, First of Her Name, Bride of Dinosaurs, Destructor of Closets, Goddess-Queen of America, Tremble or Be Destroyed?
Yes. Yes, I am.
With honorifics like that, I’m in.
Those are some cute Dorothy faces, though.
Yeah, I love the byplay between these two.
They should just kiss already.
The best thing about this strategy is that Becky will never know if Dorothy is playing the long con. Or maybe she will in 20 to 30 years when Dorothy’s president and her house is seized via imminent domain.
Well that won’t happen soon.
That’s why it’s called “the long con”
Also, it’s why it’s called “eminent domain”.
It was a pune, or play on words.
Puns aren’t plays on words. Thespian dramatizations of the dictionary are plays on words.
You can also substitute a stage made out of stacked dictionaries, upon which the actors stand.
Or a story about sworn oaths.
If they’re just standing on the dictionaries, it’s not a play on words, just a bunch of players on words.
if the words are talking smack, then you have players on heroin
Talk about a crack theory.
And another example of why this comments section needs some kind of upvote system to save space in the comments.
I wouldn’t have to do this if I could just click the upvote button.
Yessss. I need an upvote button for this thread. Here, have a lingot for each of you!
This isn’t Homestuck and Dorothy isn’t your kismesis, Becky.
I mean IDK, I’d hypothetically read a Slipshine entitled “Dorothy and Becky Hatefuck Spectacularly“
It could be Becky’s equivalent to Joyce’s ‘sex’ dream.
Yeah, Dorothy is clearly pale-flirting, this just ain’t gonna work.
Pale what? (Google has failed me.)
The pale comment is continuing the Homestuck reference. The pale quadrant is sort of like best friendship: https://mspaintadventures.fandom.com/wiki/Quadrants
EB: oh god, the quadrants…
Dorothy really is a perfect cinnamon roll.
What?
…Damn, Dotty, your diplomacy game is smooth as silk, girl
Now you just gotta stop breaking yourself with overwork and get more disillusioned about politics
Do kids at college still play Diplomacy®?
I think they play Among Us. All the backstabbing, distrust, conspiring, and broken friendships of Diplomacy, all crammed into just a few minutes.
and only one three-letter word, “sus”, to remember.
Dorothy seems oddly.. calm at the prospect of never getting into Yale.
It’s a front! Quick, dope her to the eyeballs with Prozac and put her on suicide watch!
If this is a sign of developing a healthier, more realistic life view, I welcome it. But what are the chances of that, around here?
A logical person can’t survive big dreams like that without a little insight/acceptance that her big dreams might not come true. She’s trying her very best, but there are a ton of factors outside of her control, many people have attempted and failed, etc.
Dorothy’s just cool for trying anyway.
A Dorothy who wasn’t realistic about her chances that she might not get into Yale would be a Dorothy who hadn’t researched extensively and planned accordingly, and that wouldn’t be Dorothy at all.
Play. Uh huh. Right.
I mean I don’t think Becky ACTUALLY hates Dorothy, but Willis has said that Becky sees it as “we’re gonna be frenemies or else I’ll actually start to dislike you.” So, meh.
I think Becky tells herself a lot of things.
As my Mum would call it, “Sweet ’em till their teeth rot out.”
There’s even a Bible verse about it! “Be nice to your enemies, because it really, really burns them.”
Not a direct quote, of course. The original was something about pouring coals onto their heads, I think. St. Paul was such a nice guy.
I want to marry Dorothy.
Too bad she’s straight….and a cartoon character.
And like, wayyyy to young for me now thanks to the sliding time scale
And probably not ready to marry because she’s prioritizing her career.
And that you’d have to fight Joyce all day, every day if you did marry her.
Becky, I do love you, but I don’t need to compare you to anybody in order for you to look like a jerk these past couple of strips.
Prediction: Dorothy will tell Joyce first. Becky will not be amused that she wasn’t the first to know after all. Shenanigans will ensue*.
*The shenanigans will have nothing to do with this. It’s just that when Becky is near, shenanigans will happen. That’s a law of the universe.
That’s merely a corollary. The actual law of the Dumbingverse is that shenanigans happen, regardless of who’s near.
What if noone is near?
Then we can’t tell whether shenanigans are happening or not. So take your pick. Do you prefer the Anthropic Principle or the Copernican Principle?
If shenanigans happen in a an empty forest, is there a tree?
Only a pointer to an empty tree.
god i love dorothy
Cmon Dorothy, at least play long, it’s more fun that way. “Ah yes I truly hate you Becky, that’s why I’m giving you the slightly smaller slice of pizza. MWAHAHAHA!”
Gotta bring that Sydney Yus energy!
*play along
Dorothy makes you look like a jerk? She may be diabolical, but she is no illusionist.
Well, I’d say Dorothy won that round.
The only winning move is not to play.
I admit it, Becky. I’m more diabolical than you can understand. And I’ll tell you a secret. Joyce doesn’t even know this. How could she not? I don’t know, but she doesn’t. Listen: she’s in love with me. She loves you like a sister, but she head-over-heels for me. And she’ll never have me. Imagine the control I can wield. Imagine the years of torture. And here’s some real torture for you: she’ll never love you as she loves me. Never. No matter how you try. No matter how you yearn. Never. She’s mine. She’ll run to me at the crook of a finger. And before long, I’ll separate her from you altogether. How do you like them apples, sweetheart?
I bet you’re a lot of fun at parties.
This makes me feel less pissed at Becky since it’s looking like Dorothy plays along. IE She hasn’t told Becky off or to cut it out, she just… Rolls with it. So either Dorothy needs to actually tell Becky to cut it out, or Dorothy actually sees it as a fun bonding activity
Or Dorothy thinks telling her to stop will not work while being clear about her intentions might.
It’s possible Dorothy believes Becky went through a lot and chooses to humor her because Becky might need this and Dorothy can take it.
Becky is also useful in Dorothy getting experience with general needling pointed assholes should she in fact achieve her dreams of politics. Exactly why she’s her roommate. There are few breaks from that sort of thing in being president and Dorothy probably isn’t into golf. Stress makes Dorothy happy! Or something like that. Wasn’t there an old comic where Dorothy sort of said that.
Granted I don’t think Obama or even Trump had the people he lived with actively dunking on them but eh. She wants those skills to stay sharp.
Dorothy said stress is fun. And it can be – positive stress anyway like playing a game on a time limit.
A stray thought comes to me. Imagine a joining of these two in long term political enterprises. Dorothy’s laser focus and Becky’s undeniable public relation skills could be unstoppable. Indeed the White House might be in sight as they complement each others abilities. Now which one gets to be the leader and which one is the power behind the throne? Could go either way.
Dorothy is order and Becky chaos: together they may achieve balance. I will admit this does make me think Becky would be President and Dorothy VP which she might settle for I suppose (idk if one is whacky and the other sensible I immediately think the wacky one would end up as President though this is not a hard rule). Granted since clearly past VPs can become presidents eventually though it might not be ‘settling’ for Dorothy. Two terms of Becky (with VP Dorothy) and then Two terms of Dorothy. Then the aliens attack their utopia and top pilot Joyce has to come out of retirement.
Becky would make one hell of a press secretary for the Keener administration.
Might help compensate for some of Dorothy’s problems with charisma too.
So, will this realisation make Becky change her ways (because she doesn’t want Joyce to think that she’s a jerk)? Or will she attempt to provoke Dorothy to act out so she seems less a jerk by comparison? You see, Dorothy was almost right. The one person who can change Becky’s friendship with Joyce isn’t Dorothy, it’s Becky herself.
In order: 1) No, Becky doesn’t do that sorta thing.2) This seems likely. Doubling down is her move.
if Becky wasn’t already dating Dina I’d be like “oh just kiss her already!!!!!”
Dorothy, you’re too nice. I probably would’ve told Becky to cut it out with the “play-hate” thing long ago.
Something about the last couple panels makes think of Becky as Calvin, and Dorothy as Hobbes. It’s their kind of banter.
Agreed. That was the first thing I thought of!
And now I can’t unsee it.
Artists! Give us fanart, posthaste!
Get a room you two- wait, shit
I really like that smile in panel four.
Like, really, really like it.
Willis might or might not be trying to make us ship Becky and Dorothy. And it might or might not be working.
Oh god. THE POSSIBILITIES!
This must be a luxury ship. Triple decker at least. Must be both composed and outrageous. Polka dots?
I say paisley. Hot, electric paisley.
Just gonna put this out there: given the price of an Ivy League education these days, Dorothy might actually be increasing her chances of the presidency by remaining right where she is.
Yeah, she should really be planning for an Ivy post-grad degree anyway. Those work mostly through merit-based scholarships, so she’d be minimizing debt while at the same time getting the part of the credentials that are actually useful.
Yeah, but the networking!
Dorothy isn’t going to be President. She’ll be too busy founding the United Federation of Planets.
Plans within plans within other plans.
That’s our Dorothy.
Ugh, i’m finding it really hurtful that Becky keeps claiming Dorothy having bad intentions. Grow up, Becky. Not okay.