Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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May 8, 2026

Fret

by David M Willis on October 20, 2020 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - This Bright Millennium
└ Tags: danny, sal

Discussion (174) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    October 20, 2020 at 12:01 am | #

    unfortunately for Danno, winter is not the best time to show off your smeared fake tattoos

    (suppose I could point out that custom fake tattoos exist but then again college student budget, idk)

    • clif
      clif
      October 20, 2020 at 12:20 am | #

      On the other hand, its the perfect time to invite someone to your room to show off your smeared tattoos.

      • Furubatsu
        Furubatsu
        October 20, 2020 at 4:52 am | #

        Is he still gunning for the one girl who wont rebound to Walky after dumping him?

        • Demoted Oblivious
          Demoted Oblivious
          October 20, 2020 at 9:02 am | #

          Don’t challenge comic physics. They have ways of breaking you. Besides, he hasn’t gone for Linda either, so he has options.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      October 20, 2020 at 2:37 am | #

      Even the big pack of Crayola markers is under $20 at Target.

      Oh yeah, college student budget. Never mind.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      October 20, 2020 at 6:47 pm | #

      So do nylon tattoo sleeves, if he really wants to fake impress.

      • anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
        anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
        October 20, 2020 at 10:52 pm | #

        Wow those are a thing now?
        I made a pair out of a pair of unfortunate yoga pants years ago when cosplaying.
        It was a long forgotten webtoon character with sleeves, hoodie with glowy Grin and eye and a STOP sign with the added text Please & Living, oh and the required too damn real fake blood – I worked at a place that does blood products at the time so I knew exactly what the colours and consistency was supposed to be – freaked out the First Aid and Weapons Masters people. Heh heh heh
        What were talking about again?

  2. Chris
    Chris
    October 20, 2020 at 12:05 am | #

    How long will it take him to realize that he needs to take the mittens off?

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      October 20, 2020 at 12:07 am | #

      I give him three minutes.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      October 20, 2020 at 12:09 am | #

      Danny’s gonna jam out a solo that would make Yngwie Malmsteen break down in tears of wonder, then suddenly realize he has his mittens on, remove them, and fail to play “Row Row Row Your Boat”.

    • chris2315
      chris2315
      October 20, 2020 at 12:12 am | #

      Honestly, I don’t think it would make much of a difference compared to how he plays without them.

      • Nah
        Nah
        October 20, 2020 at 1:08 am | #

        He’s had months of practice now, he may be better.

    • Rognik
      Rognik
      October 20, 2020 at 12:48 am | #

      Real ukelele players play with mitts on. Who needs fingers?

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      October 20, 2020 at 4:44 am | #

      Eh, he clearly doesn’t need to fret about mittens.

      • Demoted Oblivious
        Demoted Oblivious
        October 20, 2020 at 9:03 am | #

        I’m picking up on what you did there.

    • Furubatsu
      Furubatsu
      October 20, 2020 at 4:51 am | #

      It’ll take him a minute but he’ll try his darndest to power through with the mittens for another five.

  3. clif
    clif
    October 20, 2020 at 12:07 am | #

    I notice she didn’t answer where it came from.

    Not likely a gift from her parents.

    • Rabid Rabbit
      Rabid Rabbit
      October 20, 2020 at 12:18 am | #

      Well, he didn’t actually ask that question. It’s probably more that she got it at Christmas. I suspect she purchased it herself, using a gift card from her parents, since if it came from anyone else there’d be no reason not to mention it.

      • clif
        clif
        October 20, 2020 at 12:23 am | #

        Gift card possible I suppose. I was thinking someone with a job or access to money. Marcie. Asher. Billie before she died.

        • clif
          clif
          October 20, 2020 at 12:27 am | #

          Jason before he died.

          • Khyrin
            Khyrin
            October 20, 2020 at 6:57 am | #

            or Jason IS the guitar.

            No, I don’t know how that would work.

            • Roborat
              Roborat
              October 20, 2020 at 3:42 pm | #

              Well, if they can make someone’s wife into a bowling ball, anything is possible.

            • Ed Rhodes
              Ed Rhodes
              October 20, 2020 at 7:03 pm | #

              Look at “Soul Eater.”

        • brionl
          brionl
          October 20, 2020 at 12:42 am | #

          Maybe they cut up Mike and sold him for spare parts?

          • clif
            clif
            October 20, 2020 at 12:51 am | #

            That would be one way to get the Fridge Skull into DOA.

            • clif
              clif
              October 20, 2020 at 12:55 am | #

              But I’m relieved you left out the “before he died,”

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      October 20, 2020 at 12:29 am | #

      Maybe she sold her motorcycle to buy it.

      • Merbrat
        Merbrat
        October 20, 2020 at 12:51 am | #

        Curb your tongue, knave!

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        October 20, 2020 at 3:43 pm | #

        Would have to be a pretty expensive guitar. Decent acoustics are relatively cheap.

        • BarerMender
          BarerMender
          October 20, 2020 at 5:24 pm | #

          Maybe she wanted a Taylor.

          • Roborat
            Roborat
            October 22, 2020 at 3:54 pm | #

            I would think she has more sense than that, with Taylor, you are just paying for the name.

    • guavajagular
      guavajagular
      October 20, 2020 at 1:37 am | #

      I could actually see her dad getting her the guitar as a kind of olive branch. Sal presumably wants to be a music major, right? I imagine her parents would jump at the chance to encourage that over whatever they believe she’s doing in college.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      October 20, 2020 at 6:49 pm | #

      She bought it with a gift card her parents gave her for Christmas.

  4. clif
    clif
    October 20, 2020 at 12:10 am | #

    Anyone care to explain the alt text???

    • butts
      butts
      October 20, 2020 at 12:11 am | #

      …on his sleeve tattoo

    • Raen
      Raen
      October 20, 2020 at 12:11 am | #

      He has a fake tattoo of a mermaid.

    • Allan
      Allan
      October 20, 2020 at 12:11 am | #

      I assume on his tattoo sleeve

    • Cattleprod
      Cattleprod
      October 20, 2020 at 12:11 am | #

      One of the temporary tattoos is a mermaid, I assume.

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      October 20, 2020 at 12:11 am | #

      Mermaid on Danny’s tattoo sleeve, I suppose.

    • Carl Muckenhoupt
      Carl Muckenhoupt
      October 20, 2020 at 12:12 am | #

      Mermaids are sometimes a component of tattoo sleeves.

    • Jo Giggles
      Jo Giggles
      October 20, 2020 at 12:12 am | #

      I think it’s Danny’s fake tattoo, iirc?

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      October 20, 2020 at 12:12 am | #

      Mermaids are a relatively common motif in tattoos. He drew himself a mermaid on his magic marker tattoo sleeve. Which is just precious in its dorkiness.

    • clif
      clif
      October 20, 2020 at 12:39 am | #

      Thanks to all.

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      October 20, 2020 at 9:05 am | #

      Do we need the explainxkcd.com crew to come hold our hands now?

      • Sombrero
        Sombrero
        October 20, 2020 at 9:19 am | #

        They have like 4,000 strips to explain just in DoA. They will need an entire army, not just a crew.

  5. Regalli
    Regalli
    October 20, 2020 at 12:11 am | #

    Welp, there’s confirmation the cold affects her hand. Actually helps. Huh.

    Danny you precious bean. I swear he’s even paler than usual from the cold. Adorable.

    And then there’s the ‘mm.’ of ‘Sal’s parents almost certainly did NOT get her that guitar, and if they did, it was probably with conditions. Awful, awful conditions, because Linda and Charles Walkerton.’

    • Cattleprod
      Cattleprod
      October 20, 2020 at 12:13 am | #

      Linda’s probably still riding high on not being a literal murderer, so she’ll be extra shitty.

    • Sirksome
      Sirksome
      October 20, 2020 at 12:31 am | #

      My most educated guess would be she’d already had the guitar but just didn’t bring it the first semester. Maybe a souvenir of sorts from her boarding school days? Possibly even learned to play it there. Probably busting it out now cause of the cold and the whole new approach to life thing from the shit that went down last semester.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        October 20, 2020 at 1:29 am | #

        She didn’t return home over summer so if she had one in boarding school, she’d have had to send it somewhere if she didn’t bring it.

        My guess is she learned to play there though.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      October 20, 2020 at 1:28 am | #

      Neat! I’d only heard of cold making chronic pain (which I’m assuming she does because the damn thing went THROUGH her hand and we have confirmed limited use) worse, not better. It makes sense – some people use ice for pain for a reason!

      And if this ‘mm’ has anything to do with her motorcycle missing, you will hear my wrath from Canada, 🙂

      • powerpowerpow
        powerpowerpow
        October 20, 2020 at 5:42 am | #

        I just assumed wintertime wasn’t exactly prime motorcycle weather.

      • Geneseepaws
        Geneseepaws
        October 20, 2020 at 8:56 am | #

        Your Wrath from Canada? I keep my wrath down here with me. I keep my burns up in Canada, because Frozen Hard burn is the best.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        October 20, 2020 at 10:51 pm | #

        Typical wisdom is that ice is the go-to for acute injuries, heat for things like muscle stiffness that tend to be chronic. But ice also reduces blood flow, which can help with inflammation and swelling – both things you can get with scar tissue. (I tend to alternate for my chronic aches and pains.) Given that, it makes some sense that that’d help, at least for shorter periods.

  6. Boojum
    Boojum
    October 20, 2020 at 12:11 am | #

    @clif
    Danny’s sick fake sleeve tattoo includes a mermaid.

    • clif
      clif
      October 20, 2020 at 12:15 am | #

      Thanks. And to the other answers as well. I thought it was a line from a song or some other cultural reference that was going over my head. Sometimes a mermaid is just a mermaid.

      • Jhon
        Jhon
        October 20, 2020 at 6:22 pm | #

        Sal.
        Mermaid.
        Fanart.
        Go to it, Yotomoe!
        The power of the Internet compels you!

  7. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    October 20, 2020 at 12:12 am | #

    They’re gonna fuck and have the COOLEST CORNIEST BABIES AND YOU CAN NOT TELL ME OTHERWISE.

    • chris2315
      chris2315
      October 20, 2020 at 12:13 am | #

      And then she’ll dump him and then OH GOD NO!!!

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      October 20, 2020 at 12:13 am | #

      I’m trying to picture someone who’s the exact midpoint between “cool mofo” and “total dork”, and all I’m getting is Uncle Jesse from Full House, help.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        October 20, 2020 at 12:41 am | #

        Obviously the correct answer is staring you right in the face.
        It’s me, Yoto

        • clif
          clif
          October 20, 2020 at 12:48 am | #

          How could we have missed it?

    • Sirksome
      Sirksome
      October 20, 2020 at 12:26 am | #

      I think Sal’s existence kind of disproves this theory because she’s pretty cool and her parents kind of suck. I can’t imagine Charles or Linda ever being cool enough to produce a Sal. But who knows? Maybe one day when Willis has run out of material will get some DoA parent’s flashbacks and we’ll be surprised.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        October 20, 2020 at 12:42 am | #

        Sal’s parents involvement in her rearing was pretty limited. Danny and Sal would probably be around a bit more than not at all.

    • Rose by Any Other Name
      Rose by Any Other Name
      October 20, 2020 at 1:01 am | #

      I look forward to the Sal pregnancy scare arc.
      Wait no. No I don’t.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        October 20, 2020 at 2:42 am | #

        Nah, Mary can showcase her hypocrisy by repeating that mini-arc from the old continuity.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        October 20, 2020 at 2:45 am | #

        It won’t be a scare, because she welcomes it with open arms.

    • AbacusWizard
      AbacusWizard
      October 20, 2020 at 4:19 am | #

      Sal? Hooking up with Dan? Pshyeah right, next you’re going to tell me she gets abducted by aliens.

  8. StClair
    StClair
    October 20, 2020 at 12:14 am | #

    Somehow, Danny manages to be even whiter than the snow.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 20, 2020 at 12:51 am | #

      😛 I dunno dude, I’ve basically done everything Danny’s doing here. I like being warm, comfy and also play the ukulele.

      • Geneseepaws
        Geneseepaws
        October 20, 2020 at 9:05 am | #

        See? That is clean. Stay there, stay clean with the uke, don’t go down the rabbit hole that leads to marijuana, heroine, debauchery, selling blood for drugs, that leads to The Dark Banjo. Its siren song, calls me, it beckons, I long to feel The Banjo’s tentacle-embrace!…. ahhhh!

        • MaximumZero
          MaximumZero
          October 20, 2020 at 1:50 pm | #

          Wait, you can sell your blood for drugs? I need to get in on this.

          • Yotomoe
            Yotomoe
            October 20, 2020 at 8:13 pm | #

            Can I sell drugs for more blood?

  9. Kravis
    Kravis
    October 20, 2020 at 12:16 am | #

    Sal, “relevant” question:

    Is it your “Stab Hand” just because it’s the one that was STABBED or is it ALSO because it is the one you use to STAB your foes?

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      October 20, 2020 at 12:32 am | #

      Sal doesn’t stab; she has a problem with knives. But if she did, she’d use her left.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      October 20, 2020 at 12:52 am | #

      It’s the hand that gives her the Same Type Attack Bonus when she uses her attacks in battle.

    • woobie
      woobie
      October 20, 2020 at 12:52 am | #

      The other hand is the STABBING hand.

  10. Bagge
    Bagge
    October 20, 2020 at 12:16 am | #

    Sal should totally get her jammin’ mittens

  11. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    October 20, 2020 at 12:17 am | #

    I wonder if the cold helping her is consistent with other people and their injuries. I have a big nasty scar on my arm and it only hurts when it gets too hot. Anyone with medical knowledge know more?

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      October 20, 2020 at 4:55 am | #

      I don’t have medical knowledge, but I have Google and the Internet, and that means I can’t possibly be wrong! (/s)

      Anyhoo, what I’m suggesting says that the science hasn’t arrived at a consensus yet, but likely explanations include:

      Temperature. Different tissues expand and contract at different rates, and that’s true of scar tissue as well. That differential can explain why your body hurts and aches in both cold and hot temperatures.

      Humidity and Air Pressure: Both change with the seasons, both affect our bodies.

      Vitamin D: Less of this in winter, more in summer. This affects cartilage, and therefore most joints.

      Dehydration: Heat can dehydrate you fast. With less water in your body, you’re less able to flush toxins out of your system, and your cells start complaining.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        October 20, 2020 at 4:59 am | #

        *what I’m seeing says

    • MaximumZero
      MaximumZero
      October 20, 2020 at 1:53 pm | #

      I’ve had numerous spinal surgeries, have arthritis in both hands, knees, shoulders, et al, and the cold…does bad things to me. Rain and snowy conditions (basically anytime the barometer drops rapidly,) hurt like a mofo. Heat does nothing to me other than make me a sweatier mess than I already am.

    • LynziGraye
      LynziGraye
      October 20, 2020 at 2:52 pm | #

      I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. I’ve had a spinal fusion surgery and I’ve generally mistreated my knees because I’m severely clumsy. For me cold makes my pain issues worse, not better, but everyone is different and bodies are weird.

  12. Mr. Random
    Mr. Random
    October 20, 2020 at 12:17 am | #

    I’ll be honest, sometimes it’s stuff like this that makes me understand why Malaya thinks this is all performative.

    • clif
      clif
      October 20, 2020 at 2:56 am | #

      Who would she be performing for?

      • Demoted Oblivious
        Demoted Oblivious
        October 20, 2020 at 9:38 am | #

        Herself obviously. She’s clearly being fake-y to her own true nature. That’s why she put her life on the line, repeatedly, to help AmaziGirl and others, why she shows up to support her friends activities even if she doesn’t like the thing, and sits out in the cold *where no-one else would be expected to see her* to play her guitar. It’s all an elaborate ruse to fake-y herself out.

  13. AntJ
    AntJ
    October 20, 2020 at 12:18 am | #

    Not sure if “mm” here is an affirmative or a dodge

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      October 20, 2020 at 12:31 am | #

      Definitely a dodge. She got it herself — at best with a giftcard.

    • clif
      clif
      October 20, 2020 at 12:37 am | #

      Or deliberately ambiguous. Sal was away at boarding school for ages and then shows up with a motorcycle her parents certainly didn’t buy her. She has no job, is not the favored child, but has money to hang out with her friends. She is away for the break and shows up with a guitar, which could be anything from cheap to more expensive than the motorbike.And she maybe dodges the question of where it came from. It’s odd and hints at a backstory.

  14. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    October 20, 2020 at 12:19 am | #

    *was thinking about adapting The Boss, but knows better*

  15. Spencer
    Spencer
    October 20, 2020 at 12:19 am | #

    Danny is adorable and I want one.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      October 20, 2020 at 7:30 pm | #

      Danny(TM) – now available at all major retailers, just in time for Christms!

  16. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    October 20, 2020 at 12:21 am | #

    Okay who gave Sal a guitar for Christmas? I’m gonna say it’s Marcie or some unknown Walkerton family member. Maybe like a cool uncle cause we do not have any evidence anyone in her immediate family would gift he a guitar.

    • Dr. T
      Dr. T
      October 20, 2020 at 12:28 am | #

      It could also be someone you don’t see coming, like Asher.

      As an aside, I do like the pairing of her and Danny. I know they were a couple originally, but it was mainly off panel in Roomies! Besides, it would be nice to see her in a relationship that ISN’T toxic. Walkyverse Danny/Sal, any pairing of Sal/Jason, etc. My recollection of the Walkyverse stories is bit off, but I simply don’t recall her being in any healthy relationships.

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        October 20, 2020 at 12:35 am | #

        Eh. I can see the Sal/Danny ship and I wouldn’t be mad at it although I’m still secretly hoping Danny will find a cute boy to smooch without fucking it up just for the rep. I also kind of dig their platonic relationship because that’s really not done enough. Men and woman can be close, even intimately so without wanting to date and I think that would be cool and good for both of them. Just my preferences though.

        • Dr. T
          Dr. T
          October 20, 2020 at 12:58 am | #

          Yeah, the platonic friendship is also nice. I actually don’t mind them not getting together despite Sal flat out suggesting that she could be interested if he were (and then being content when he said he wasn’t actually).

          I just meant that I don’t recall her being in a healthy relationship in either universe and this friendship is the closest thing to a something healthy. I could be content with them staying friends, however.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        October 20, 2020 at 1:31 am | #

        It would actually be really really sweet if it was from Asher. He’s the only one I can think of from Evansville who might have the money, depending how much he stole from Mob Grandpa.

        • Sirksome
          Sirksome
          October 20, 2020 at 1:44 am | #

          Sweet? I don’t know. I guess kinda? Kinda takes a bit of the sweetness away since he’s the one that called the cops on her and not from a place of kindness but to save his own skin. Asher is so shady to me. It’s hard to imagine a gift from him being sincere. But him and Sal were kinda close so I can’t say it’s not valid.

          • Demoted Oblivious
            Demoted Oblivious
            October 20, 2020 at 9:41 am | #

            He’s still essentially a kid too. A young under 25 still figuring out his place and doing internally inconsistent behaviours because he is still figuring himself out.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              October 20, 2020 at 11:19 am | #

              Let’s not give him too much of a pass. We’re still not sure what his role was in Blaine’s murder.

              And it also seemed more like his motivation in calling the cops on Sal was as much thinking it would be funny as getting the police off his trail.

  17. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    October 20, 2020 at 12:32 am | #

    The mermaid is also playing a ukulele and wearing mittens.

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      October 20, 2020 at 12:33 am | #

      That would actually be a pretty fun tattoo.

    • BarerMender
      BarerMender
      October 20, 2020 at 12:34 am | #

      And smoking.

      • Reltzik
        Reltzik
        October 20, 2020 at 5:01 am | #

        And it has its own tatoo.

        A recursive one.

        Six levels of recursion is damn impressive detail for markers, too.

        • Geneseepaws
          Geneseepaws
          October 20, 2020 at 9:12 am | #

          Pigma Micron: .005, for the recursion!

  18. TemporalShrew
    TemporalShrew
    October 20, 2020 at 12:35 am | #

    Each Danny appearance serves only to elevate his Dork Quotient ever higher.

    • Reltzik
      Reltzik
      October 20, 2020 at 5:02 am | #

      It can’t go higher. It’s just that our memories can’t fully retain the dorkiness, so it always seems higher than we remembered it.

  19. clif
    clif
    October 20, 2020 at 12:46 am | #

    Quotient? I never knew dorkocity was a ratio.

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      October 20, 2020 at 9:44 am | #

      You just disproved your claim by correctly labelling the quantitative measure or dorkiness. Usuall units are cD or dD because most people only exibit a limited range of dorkocity, but occasionally MD needs to be busted out for the real MegaDork.

      • clif
        clif
        October 21, 2020 at 12:10 am | #

        If dorkocity is a quotient, what is the divisor and what is the dividend?

        • Demoted Oblivious
          Demoted Oblivious
          October 21, 2020 at 10:02 am | #

          Searches out the assistance of better MD’s than myself. Ah, I see your confusion. You are seeing quotient by its meaning of “fraction”. However, TemporalShrew was using quotient by the meaning, “a degree or amount of a specified quality or characteristic.” Both are correct meanings, but by dumbling down on your definition, sadly you have been docked several cD’s of your dorkocity quotient.

          Fortunately, I can
          make a quotient to answer your question
          .
          Let the numerator (dividend) be dorkocity, D and the denominator (divisor) be 1 and I give you a quotient of the dorkocity quotient: D/1.

          • Demoted Oblivious
            Demoted Oblivious
            October 21, 2020 at 10:08 am | #

            I myself made the opposite mistake in reading your original post with Shrew’s usage still in mind, so answered your confusion with an even greater degree of confusion. Thus necessitating piling on ever more confusing confusion to de-confound the fusion of confusion.

            Mea culpa.

  20. brionl
    brionl
    October 20, 2020 at 12:48 am | #

    Hey Danny, if you use these, you don’t have to take off your mittens!

    https://www.heatholders.com/products/mens-converter-gloves

  21. clif
    clif
    October 20, 2020 at 12:53 am | #

    But I’m relieved you left out the “before he died.”

    • clif
      clif
      October 20, 2020 at 12:54 am | #

      How did this wind up here?

  22. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    October 20, 2020 at 1:16 am | #

    Linda and Charles giving gifts to their rebellious daughter? Hah!… I feel sad now.

    • Slartibeast Button, BIA
      Slartibeast Button, BIA
      October 20, 2020 at 1:33 am | #

      Walky was feeling guilty so he gave her half of his gift card.

    • Brighter Side
      Brighter Side
      October 20, 2020 at 2:20 pm | #

      Were they supposed to punish her for literally saving the day? I don’t think they lock Sal in the basement or under the stairs; they’re probably just less supportive and outwardly loving compared to ol’ Walky.

      I know they took the motorcycle, but that was probably out of concern. She is kind of a daredevil.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        October 20, 2020 at 4:37 pm | #

        They don’t lock her in a basement or under the stairs – they sent to away to boarding school for 5 years. She apparently hasn’t been home to be locked away.

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          October 20, 2020 at 4:37 pm | #

          Until this break of course.

  23. BBCC
    BBCC
    October 20, 2020 at 1:32 am | #

    Now I’m curious who it’s from.

    And Danny, please, you can’t play worth a damn in mittens. 😛

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      October 20, 2020 at 1:43 am | #

      He can’t play worth a damn without mittens so I don’t see the problem.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        October 20, 2020 at 2:46 am | #

        Even so. ;P

  24. Opus the Poet
    Opus the Poet
    October 20, 2020 at 1:59 am | #

    So nobody noticed Sal plays guitar the same way as Jimi Hendrix?

    • Geneseepaws
      Geneseepaws
      October 20, 2020 at 9:14 am | #

      Someone may have mentioned Hendrix recently.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      October 20, 2020 at 3:47 pm | #

      Well, except she has an actual lefty guitar, not a restrung righty like Hendrix used.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        October 21, 2020 at 7:54 am | #

        No, Jimi played his guitar upside-down and strummed backwards. The strings I mean, he strummed normally, but because the guitar was upside-down it was bass strings last.

        • Roborat
          Roborat
          October 22, 2020 at 3:56 pm | #

          Huh, didn’t know that, I thought he restrung them.

  25. King Daniel
    King Daniel
    October 20, 2020 at 2:19 am | #

    Not exactly connected to today’s strip, but did anyone else do a double-take when they saw today’s Featured Article on the Wikipedia homepage?

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      October 20, 2020 at 2:25 am | #

      So, Wikipedia has finally reached the point where it has long, learned articles about subsets of fan-activity? I mean, Kirk/Spock Slash deserves a page because that’s where the term ‘slash’ comes from and was practically the birthplace of Internet Shipping but I would have thought that Steve/Bucky is a bit too young to be considered a big thing!

      • Demoted Oblivious
        Demoted Oblivious
        October 20, 2020 at 9:58 am | #

        Finally?! Wikipedia _exists_ because of people writing long learned articles about subsets of fan activity. Fans of everything from everything to Philosophy, which is defensibly the ur-parent article of all wikipedia articles.

        Open any wiki article and click the first -in article- link. Repeat as needed. You _will_ end up at philosophy. (like a maze you may have a few island circle links, but most will take you to philosophy.)

  26. BenRG
    BenRG
    October 20, 2020 at 2:22 am | #

    We get it, Danny: You want to impress Sal. Lots of people do, you’re just a lot more… intense about it.

    Sal… Sal, Sal, Sal, I know that you’ve got a hard time admitting there are people caring about you. Just… try to care for yourself, okay? There are people who would miss you!

  27. David Adler
    David Adler
    October 20, 2020 at 2:25 am | #

    Mittens! THAT’S what I’ve been doing wrong!

  28. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    October 20, 2020 at 2:27 am | #

    Mittens suck. Change my mind.

    • Council
      Council
      October 20, 2020 at 2:59 am | #

      They look really cute on puffily dressed children

    • RacingTurtle
      RacingTurtle
      October 20, 2020 at 3:05 am | #

      Paws For People

    • AbacusWizard
      AbacusWizard
      October 20, 2020 at 4:21 am | #

      “You know, these gloves are pretty good, but they’d be so much better if they had less fingers.”

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      October 20, 2020 at 8:17 am | #

      If you don’t need to use your fingers, mittens are significantly warmer than gloves. They have their place.

      • Geneseepaws
        Geneseepaws
        October 20, 2020 at 9:15 am | #

        Take your upvote!

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      October 20, 2020 at 10:00 am | #

      You clearly don’t live anywhere that frostbite is a real danger. I don’t suggest you ever try to invade a northern country.

    • Nep
      Nep
      October 20, 2020 at 11:44 am | #

      Much warmer than gloves and more likely to stay my size through weight changes. But to each their own!

  29. Keulen
    Keulen
    October 20, 2020 at 3:05 am | #

    Danny saying “time to get raw” is fucking hilarious.

    • AbacusWizard
      AbacusWizard
      October 20, 2020 at 4:20 am | #

      “time to get raw, and by raw I mean leave it a little tiny bit pink in the middle but please cook it all the way because I don’t want to get salmonella or whatever”

      • Brighter Side
        Brighter Side
        October 20, 2020 at 2:16 pm | #

        By raw, he means medium-well-done.

  30. Samuel
    Samuel
    October 20, 2020 at 4:07 am | #

    Cigarette smoke DOES NOT keep you warm. Given the typical intake of smoke from a cigarette (600ml[1]), it weight less than 1g ! Compare that to the body mass of Sal, (at least 50kg) and even assuming a perfect heat exchange, her temp will not even be raised by a tenth of a thousandth of a degree !

    That said, maybe smokers have a *feeling* of heat in their mouth when inhaling their smoke, would be curious to know.

    [1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4929244/

    • Dara
      Dara
      October 20, 2020 at 4:43 am | #

      Did you mean psychosomatic (1834)?

      (¬ᴗ¬)

      • Josh Spicer
        Josh Spicer
        October 20, 2020 at 7:52 am | #

        Lie down on the couch.

        Well what does that mean?

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      October 20, 2020 at 8:19 am | #

      Possibly a physiological reaction to smoking – boosting metabolism maybe?

      Or just self-delusion. 🙂

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      October 20, 2020 at 10:06 am | #

      Absolutely. Smoking is (nicotene is) a vasoconstrictor (for skin and surface muscles). This will allow the skin to cool down quickly to ambient(ish) temperature and so the differential won’t feel as uncomfortable, and from a convection standpoint would reduce heat loss. However, never allow an injured person to smoke as it increases the likelihood of going into shock.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        October 20, 2020 at 10:45 am | #

        OTOH, the drop in bloodflow makes your extremities more susceptible to frostbite.

        • Demoted Oblivious
          Demoted Oblivious
          October 20, 2020 at 11:12 pm | #

          Oh yes absolutely, on the same hand even. You’re just not as uncomfortable while it’s happening. Thank you for pointing that out. I was not trying to make it seem like a good idea to smoke to keep warm. It absolutely does not do that (the convection aspect of heat loss notwithstanding, but also negated by other effects).

          The point I failed to make clear is that smoking makes your senses lie to you about keeping warm.

  31. Carla's #2 Fan
    Carla's #2 Fan
    October 20, 2020 at 4:17 am | #

    For anyone else who was confused about what “fret” is, it isn’t a scar/wound related word. It has to do with the guitar wires. I had assumed it was the former.

    • Sunny
      Sunny
      October 20, 2020 at 10:36 am | #

      Fret not, ’tis an easy mistake to make.

  32. Pebble
    Pebble
    October 20, 2020 at 4:24 am | #

    Guitar necks pointing opposite ways, like John and Paul, only with the dorkiness and coolness reversed.

  33. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    October 20, 2020 at 7:13 am | #

    I like Danny musical attitude. But…. with an ukulele?

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      October 20, 2020 at 8:44 am | #

      Attitude can turn any instrument into a rockin’ jam… Except maybe whistling whilst banging spoons on your thigh.

      • Geneseepaws
        Geneseepaws
        October 20, 2020 at 9:17 am | #

        Or a banjo.

  34. Josh Spicer
    Josh Spicer
    October 20, 2020 at 7:52 am | #

    I have legitimately not seen a character fall out of favor as slowly as Danny has.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      October 20, 2020 at 9:40 am | #

      What he said about Mike was extreme and I think it shocked a lot of people. I’m not sure if he was speaking without thinking or whether he really did hate Mike that much and had literally never realised it until suddenly all that resentment was pouring out of his mouth in from of Ethan (Mike’s best friend and former lover, let’s not forget).

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        October 20, 2020 at 11:22 am | #

        Ethan was also one of Mike’s favorite victims and much of Danny’s problem with him came from what he’d seen/heard of Mike’s treatment of Ethan.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        October 20, 2020 at 11:25 pm | #

        He wasn’t at all wrong, but he picked the worst possible place and time, and the fact that he had gone in intending to confess his feelings to Ethan outside one of his best friends’ hospital room was… not a great judgment call, itself. Proceeding to derail that by insulting said comatose friend in a way that (almost certainly unintentionally) implied ‘I would not mind if he dies’ was pretty much guaranteed to start a fight.

        It’s standard 18-year-old assume-you’re-immortal dumb shit (Hell, I’ve heard EXPONENTIALLY dumber today,) and I desperately want to see Danny’s response to Mike’s death/at best continued coma in light of that, but still. DEFINITELY Danning it up there. (I get WHY the timeskip to gloss over the grief for people who only tangentially knew him, but still. There’s a difference between knowing about mortality as an abstract concept, knowing about it through death of older family members/adults/hell even parents, and the death of a peer at this age* and I would love to see the cast grappling with that.)

        * I assume, anyway. My brother and I both skipped that phase/misconception because one neighboring teen we knew died when I was fourteen, and another right at the end of my time in high school. So instead we went right to Depressive Existentialist Musings about the fundamental unfairness of the universe. But late high schoolers and college students do WAY too much Profoundly Dangerous, Stupid Shit for me not to believe a lot of them have a different conception of their own mortality than I did.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      October 20, 2020 at 11:13 am | #

      If history is any indication the commentariat will get over it once he starts making eyes at a hunky boy again.

      • Solenoid
        Solenoid
        October 20, 2020 at 8:16 pm | #

        I’d more just wait to see if he messes that one up in a more amusing manner.

    • Wishwater
      Wishwater
      October 20, 2020 at 1:39 pm | #

      People have disliked Danny since I started reading (7 years ago now), but the comment section goes through periods where they like him more sometimes.

  35. raultsi
    raultsi
    October 20, 2020 at 12:18 pm | #

    hmm, I never found smoking to help keep me warm, and the cold never did anything good for my broken metacarpals in my left (fretting) hand. For that matter, it didn’t do anything for my right hand either. I hate cold.

  36. Lenora
    Lenora
    October 20, 2020 at 12:47 pm | #

    Danny is such a nerd

  37. Wishwater
    Wishwater
    October 20, 2020 at 1:36 pm | #

    Danny is so cute! I love Sal and Danny – maybe they can start a band this term?

  38. Brighter Side
    Brighter Side
    October 20, 2020 at 2:13 pm | #

    Dan just keeps on Danning. He’s unstoppable.

  39. Roborat
    Roborat
    October 20, 2020 at 3:51 pm | #

    Kind of surprised with Sal, I would have pegged her as an electric guitar type, probably a funky coloured Fender Strat.

  40. Olav
    Olav
    October 20, 2020 at 8:15 pm | #

    “Smokin’ keeps me warm.”

    Mmm, yummy cancer-causing warmth.

    To be young again and to think that I was the exception to every statistical risk category. Well, I actually never considered myself to be free from the risks of my actions. Maybe it isn’t really about the sense of invincibility that comes with youth but about having a personality trait of rebellion such that you screw yourself out of spite.

  41. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    October 20, 2020 at 8:16 pm | #

    Well I mean, there is NO WAY IN HELL Sal’s parents would buy her a guitar (danny you’re cute with with your family), so I guess this explains why she doesn’t have a motorcycle anymore ?

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      October 20, 2020 at 10:11 pm | #

      Danny’s parents aren’t good to him either, actually. They’re the “Danny is a miserable waste of a character” commenters if they were actual personalities in the comic.

  42. cartoogle
    cartoogle
    October 20, 2020 at 11:12 pm | #

    Now we know Sal is a lefty (note the guitar orientation). I wonder if she flips a righty guitar backwards like Hendrix.

    • cartoogle
      cartoogle
      October 20, 2020 at 11:14 pm | #

      On reflection, she doesn’t: the pickguard is downward. :/

  43. Octopus Ink
    Octopus Ink
    October 20, 2020 at 11:58 pm | #

    Guitar and uke?
    Sal and Danny are officially the Garfunkel & Oates of this comic.

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