Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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ruth's got hockey pucks, she can find something to glue to one
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May 12, 2026

Six forty-five

by David M Willis on October 28, 2020 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - This Bright Millennium
└ Tags: dorothy, ruth

Discussion (102) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    October 28, 2020 at 12:05 am | #

    cobbled together out of pocket protectors

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      October 28, 2020 at 12:08 am | #

      I was gonna say ‘pages from old retired textbooks turned into a papier mache thing,’ but that’s way better.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      October 28, 2020 at 6:16 am | #

      An oversized grail fashioned out of hockey pucks and femurs.

      • anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
        anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness
        October 28, 2020 at 11:15 am | #

        Pucks for the base and femurs for the stem but what to use for the cup?
        No! No no no no! Do not go there! No!

        • Needfuldoer
          Needfuldoer
          October 28, 2020 at 6:03 pm | #

          Patellae. To think she’s been throwing them out all these years…

  2. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    October 28, 2020 at 12:07 am | #

    See Ruth you do care, about making fun of people, if nothing else.

    Also where is our final person damnit? I need to know if it is Billie.

    • Mydnyt
      Mydnyt
      October 28, 2020 at 12:25 am | #

      That is a perfectly acceptable form of communication so long as it’s done without malice. Roughly 90% of my communication with everybody who knows me is generally making fun of each other

      • clif
        clif
        October 28, 2020 at 1:24 am | #

        Billie is unlikely to show up for the floor meeting as she doesn’t live here.

    • Ana Chronistic
      Ana Chronistic
      October 28, 2020 at 3:33 am | #

      You know it’s gonna be Booster’s twin

      • Lars
        Lars
        October 28, 2020 at 4:02 am | #

        Why can’t it be both? Booster Billingsworth sounds correct to me.

        • Morleuca
          Morleuca
          October 28, 2020 at 6:03 am | #

          Pretty sure that Walky would know them already, in that case.

          • powerpowerpow
            powerpowerpow
            October 28, 2020 at 7:25 am | #

            Also, Booster doesn’t exactly look half Asian. Granted, they never said anything about having an identical twin, but yeah. Pretty share they’re not a Billingsworth.

            Could you imagine if both Billie and Walky had estranged twins though? That’d be hilarious.

            • powerpowerpow
              powerpowerpow
              October 28, 2020 at 7:26 am | #

              I really need to figure out how to italicize things properly…

              • Demoted Oblivious
                Demoted Oblivious
                October 28, 2020 at 10:48 am | #

                End it with , but with no spaces. Though it’ll be hillarious if the parser eats my comment.

                • Demoted Oblivious
                  Demoted Oblivious
                  October 28, 2020 at 10:50 am | #

                  *sigh* Yep. So
                  less than, slash, i, greater than

                • a/snow/mous/e
                  a/snow/mous/e
                  October 28, 2020 at 4:00 pm | #

                  hmm… \

                • a/snow/mous/e
                  a/snow/mous/e
                  October 28, 2020 at 4:00 pm | #

                • a/snow/mous/e
                  a/snow/mous/e
                  October 28, 2020 at 4:01 pm | #

                  nope i can’t bypass the parser through any rudimentary shenanigans

    • a/snow/mous/e
      a/snow/mous/e
      October 28, 2020 at 4:07 pm | #

      billie and ethan traveled to the past and had a child and that’s the missing person

      • a/snow/mous/e
        a/snow/mous/e
        October 28, 2020 at 4:08 pm | #

        no obviously that doesn’t make sense because ethan’s gay

        • a/snow/mous/e
          a/snow/mous/e
          October 28, 2020 at 4:08 pm | #

          billie and ethan stepped into two sides of a teleportation machine and when they came out they were billiethan

  3. bcb
    bcb
    October 28, 2020 at 12:07 am | #

    Yes! I like going to class or seminars early in large part to pick my preferred seat. Or at least, I did, before classes and seminars were online.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      October 28, 2020 at 12:10 am | #

      As soon as my class was over, I’d make a beeline for my next one and eat/do homework/hang around there. If there was another class in progress, I’d sit outside the door and do that. I didn’t live on campus so I had nothing else to do.

    • abysswatcher1993
      abysswatcher1993
      October 28, 2020 at 12:41 am | #

      I went early to reunions to sit and use the internet while everyone arrived.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      October 28, 2020 at 6:21 am | #

      Time is never on my side. If I try to be early, someone or something will inevitably require attention and make me late anyway.

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        October 28, 2020 at 6:35 am | #

        Are you from the same town as me? “We need to get there by 2:00 and home by 5:00, I have to sleep for work” turns into “Fuck, it’s 8:34pm CST and we’re just now heading home.”

  4. Wraithy2773
    Wraithy2773
    October 28, 2020 at 12:08 am | #

    Anyone that’s had to stand for an hour to get through a boring-ass meeting because they were one of the last ones there and no more chairs were available know the actual value of arriving early…

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      October 28, 2020 at 10:54 am | #

      Any meeting without enough chairs isn’t worth attending. If they can’t find the space to let you sit, they also won’t have found a way to be concise. Also, if they can’t be bothered to give you a seat, they aren’t going to listen and if they aren’t listening, then it should just be written down and mailed/posted.

  5. BBCC
    BBCC
    October 28, 2020 at 12:09 am | #

    Look, just buy her a three ring binder or a notebook, she’ll accept that.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      October 28, 2020 at 6:23 am | #

      Dorothy would appreciate something functional over a purely ornamental doohickey.

      • Sunny
        Sunny
        October 28, 2020 at 11:08 am | #

        What about a Monkey Master figure on a hockey puck that says “NEEEERD!” when you touch it?

  6. TheKelliestKelly
    TheKelliestKelly
    October 28, 2020 at 12:10 am | #

    The missing person is going to be at this floor meeting. I feel it in my bones. I hope it’s Bille

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      October 28, 2020 at 12:11 am | #

      I hope so, but Billie is in a different dorm now so it is unlikely she’ll be at this floor meeting.

    • UnfrozenNeanderthal
      UnfrozenNeanderthal
      October 28, 2020 at 12:26 am | #

      Watch it be like Guns or something else completely out of the blue

  7. UnfrozenNeanderthal
    UnfrozenNeanderthal
    October 28, 2020 at 12:10 am | #

    Alternatively the best chair for sleeping through all the learning

  8. leaf
    leaf
    October 28, 2020 at 12:10 am | #

    Tf does she think she’s going to learn?

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      October 28, 2020 at 12:16 am | #

      I never really learned much at floor meetings when I was in college. Though that may be because I avoided most of them.

      • Jamie
        Jamie
        October 28, 2020 at 1:27 am | #

        I think I went to one? I’m not entirely sure.

    • Rabid Rabbit
      Rabid Rabbit
      October 28, 2020 at 9:59 am | #

      I’m assuming this is “the best chair for all the learning I’m going to be doing in the 15 minutes waiting for the meeting to start, and maybe also when you’re talking to us, though I’ll be writing an essay at the same time.”

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      October 28, 2020 at 10:56 am | #

      Here, maybe nothing, but when a good habit is in force, it tends to be somewhat indiscriminate.

  9. Regalli
    Regalli
    October 28, 2020 at 12:12 am | #

    Wonder what game the Switch in there’s set to. The purple and orange joycons are my favorite normally-sold color set. (The Animal Crossing ones beat them out, though. That Switch is a thing of beauty.)

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      October 28, 2020 at 6:26 am | #

      Assuming it’s for the common room (not somebody’s personal property they left there), it’s probably got a few quick pick-up games like Super Smash Bros and Mario Kart loaded.

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        October 28, 2020 at 9:21 am | #

        Overcooked would probably be a fun kind of Utter Chaos, too.

  10. Newllend(henryvolt)
    Newllend(henryvolt)
    October 28, 2020 at 12:13 am | #

    I can understand it being better to be early than late, but her reasons on being so is the nerdiest I’ve ever heard.

    • abysswatcher1993
      abysswatcher1993
      October 28, 2020 at 12:38 am | #

      Dotty is a good bean. Everyone else in that dorm and this comment section is just mean.

      • abysswatcher1993
        abysswatcher1993
        October 28, 2020 at 12:39 am | #

        Dina is an exception though. She is a good bean too.

        • Sirksome
          Sirksome
          October 28, 2020 at 12:47 am | #

          I wonder where Dorothy falls on the DoA morality scale. If one extreme is Blaine I’d say Dorothy is the at the exact opposite end edging out your Dina’s and your Joyce’s in good beanie-ness. I mean Dorothy volunteers in her spare time. Arguably to diversify her academic portfolio but it’s still volunteering.

          • clif
            clif
            October 28, 2020 at 1:46 am | #

            Dina is intrinsically a good bean. Dorothy works really hard at being a good bean. Amber is an amazingly good bean, albeit for twisted and self destructive reasons. Danny would like to be a good bean. Mike is dead and so is no longer a bean.

            • Ray Radlein
              Ray Radlein
              October 28, 2020 at 3:07 am | #

              Like a bean he is planted in the ground

              • Needfuldoer
                Needfuldoer
                October 28, 2020 at 6:28 am | #

                He’s a has-bean.

            • Proxiehunter
              Proxiehunter
              October 28, 2020 at 3:23 am | #

              If Becky we’re here she would never pass up the chance to inform us that she’s a lez bean. That seems like a joke she’d make.

              • Poskie
                Poskie
                October 28, 2020 at 6:06 am | #

                Additionally, Leslie is a Bean bean!

            • AbelUndercity
              AbelUndercity
              October 28, 2020 at 7:57 am | #

              Sarah is a good bean despite herself.

  11. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    October 28, 2020 at 12:13 am | #

    *looks for a suitable furniture commercial jingle in the found-sound library*
    *Wayfair seems to be on top of the list for the moment*

  12. Keulen
    Keulen
    October 28, 2020 at 12:14 am | #

    So I guess Ruth isn’t gonna go looking for the people on her floor to drag them to the floor meeting then.

    • Sirksome
      Sirksome
      October 28, 2020 at 12:24 am | #

      New year, new semester, new slightly more adjusted Ruth who maybe realizes how problematic some of her old behaviors were now that’s she’s not in a drunken depression spiral.

      • clif
        clif
        October 28, 2020 at 1:27 am | #

        Sure. Let’s go with that.

  13. StClair
    StClair
    October 28, 2020 at 12:15 am | #

    “With respect, I disagree!”

  14. Rainhat
    Rainhat
    October 28, 2020 at 12:16 am | #

    Kinda no winning with her, is there?

  15. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    October 28, 2020 at 12:18 am | #

    “Maximized learning.” Look I don’t really do the whole I imagine x character sounds like this, but that is the most Twilight Sparkle line. Dorothy definitely sounds like that pony and she has the purple notepad to prove it.

    • Robbie
      Robbie
      October 28, 2020 at 12:29 am | #

      I can’t unhear it now, but I’m not mad!

  16. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    October 28, 2020 at 12:27 am | #

    Dorothy, if you’d just closed your mouth after “best chair” then Ruth might have actually respected your earliness.

    … sorta. kinda. Halfway.

    • abysswatcher1993
      abysswatcher1993
      October 28, 2020 at 12:37 am | #

      Ruth has no respect for other people, not even those she bangs.

    • drs
      drs
      October 28, 2020 at 12:42 am | #

      Or she’s trolling Ruth.

  17. abysswatcher1993
    abysswatcher1993
    October 28, 2020 at 12:35 am | #

    Dorothy having a trophy means she has more prizes than the Maple Lefs OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • drs
      drs
      October 28, 2020 at 12:43 am | #

      “Go away, Billie.”

    • FacelessDeviant
      FacelessDeviant
      October 28, 2020 at 6:29 am | #

      Hockey based taunts, one of the few things that can get to both Canadians and Swedes.

  18. Kitschensyngk
    Kitschensyngk
    October 28, 2020 at 12:44 am | #

    I call it “femur insurance.”

  19. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    October 28, 2020 at 12:45 am | #

    Hope today she’s wearing her bully-proof underwear.

    • clif
      clif
      October 28, 2020 at 1:30 am | #

      Now I’m wondering what bully-proof underwear would look like.

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        October 28, 2020 at 4:19 am | #

        It’s just regular underwear, but with the sound chip from one of those novelty parrot toys, the ones that repeat what you say at them but higher-pitched.

      • Deanatay
        Deanatay
        October 28, 2020 at 10:18 am | #

        Wedgie-proof, mostly.

      • Bogeywoman
        Bogeywoman
        October 28, 2020 at 8:44 pm | #

        The crotch has been partly cut through so they break upon attempts to wedgie.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      October 28, 2020 at 6:33 am | #

      Bully-proof windows, troll-safe doors?

  20. Geneseepaws
    Geneseepaws
    October 28, 2020 at 1:53 am | #

    First panel: quarter til’ a freckle.

  21. BenRG
    BenRG
    October 28, 2020 at 3:01 am | #

    This is ultra in-character for Dorothy and I think that Ruth realises this! All I can add is a reminder: “That’s ‘Madame President Nerd’ to you, Ms Lessick!”

  22. Ray Radlein
    Ray Radlein
    October 28, 2020 at 3:09 am | #

    “Hello everyone. Please try not to get kidnapped and/or murdered this semester, because it is a fucking pain in the ass for everyone, but mainly for me. The end.”

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      October 28, 2020 at 11:02 am | #

      So much paperwork. So many forms.

  23. Juanoku
    Juanoku
    October 28, 2020 at 5:32 am | #

    Goddamn I’m a sucker for concerned softie Ruth

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      October 28, 2020 at 6:35 am | #

      Yup.

  24. Jordan
    Jordan
    October 28, 2020 at 5:52 am | #

    Dorothy why do you sound like a caricature of yourself right now?

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      October 28, 2020 at 5:54 am | #

      She just needs to be her sometimes. It’s a rest from when she’s not being mildly subversive in a generally non-significant way with Joyce.

  25. BenRG
    BenRG
    October 28, 2020 at 5:57 am | #

    Two possibilities for the meeting subject:

    1) The college is setting up a formal memorial for Mike and want suggestions from his friends and dorm-mates on what it should be (drama for Danny and Amber);

    2) Ruth wants to formally introduce the new two residents, Booster and the Masturbate Indoors girl. She also wants to make sure that Billie and Ethan being withdrawn from the college hasn’t upset anyone as much as Billie being withdrawn has upset her.

    • Fire_Daws
      Fire_Daws
      October 28, 2020 at 8:19 am | #

      Ruth’s not the RA to the boys dorm (as much as the comic sometimes suggests that). This is going to be somewhat like the meeting that they had before at the start of the Fall semester.

      • BenRG
        BenRG
        October 28, 2020 at 12:44 pm | #

        Sorry, thought I posted this before: Walky implied strongly that the boys’ RA doesn’t do his job much, so Ruth may take it upon herself to do that for him.

  26. Bagge
    Bagge
    October 28, 2020 at 5:57 am | #

    Silly Ruth, Dorothy can win at anything!

  27. hof1991
    hof1991
    October 28, 2020 at 9:06 am | #

    True fact. The large clock at Lambeau Field is fifteen minutes fast. It’s set to Lombardi time. Locals totally used to it.

    • Rabid Rabbit
      Rabid Rabbit
      October 28, 2020 at 9:58 am | #

      The large clock near Waverley Station is Edinburgh is a few minutes fast, deliberately so that people won’t miss their trains.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      October 28, 2020 at 10:02 am | #

      The British Royal Family spent 35 years being 30 minutes faster than the rest of the UK because King Edward VII had all the clocks changed in royal castles and palaces on a whim. No-one knows why.

  28. Deanatay
    Deanatay
    October 28, 2020 at 10:19 am | #

    To quote Dave: HA! NERRRRD.

  29. Zaxares
    Zaxares
    October 28, 2020 at 11:02 am | #

    It IS always good to arrive early. If nothing else, it also gives you leeway for when unexpected problems crop up and delay your travel. 😉

  30. Arianod
    Arianod
    October 28, 2020 at 12:06 pm | #

    You fool. Being the biggest nerd IS the prize.

    • Bagge
      Bagge
      October 28, 2020 at 11:38 pm | #

      Dorothy is the prize

      at least from where Joyce is standing.

  31. Jhon
    Jhon
    October 28, 2020 at 1:17 pm | #

    I’m very glad it wasn’t five forty-five.
    (Be glad if you didn’t get that.)

    Be sure to VOTE!

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      October 28, 2020 at 2:22 pm | #

      Let’s see, do I wanna vote for the Republican candidate, proven to be basically a cartoon villain and most likely aiming for a dictatorship? Or do I wanna vote for the Democrat, who’s just gonna bend over backwards and give the other guy exactly what he wants anyway, because he has no spine or integrity?

      Lotta good options this year, honest… May as well go for the least terrible.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        October 28, 2020 at 3:34 pm | #

        Biden’s policy platform is pretty good. Some shit for sure, but he’s got a lot of good and important work in it (like fixing the social security system so disabled folks can get married without losing the benefits they rely on, improving on the ACA, ending separations at the border, and …y’know, NOT trying to undermine Roe or Obgerfell (spelling?))

        • thejeff
          thejeff
          October 28, 2020 at 10:56 pm | #

          Meanwhile Trump is actively trying to kill us all.

          Yeah, I am so done with the false equivalencies. Biden is certainly going to disappoint me and piss me off from time to time, but it won’t be a constant deluge and he won’t be actively destroying the country, so I’m looking forward to it.

          There’s going to be a lot of work to do. Let’s get Democrats solid control of the Senate, so they can actually get more of it done.

      • Ornithophobix
        Ornithophobix
        October 28, 2020 at 5:13 pm | #

        I say this as a non-citizen immigrant: if enough people don’t vote for the uninspiring other guy, people like me will get kicked out of this country in the very near future.

        I understand that this is a frustrating choice for Americans, but it will have life-changing effects on people who get no say in the matter.

  32. Sombrero
    Sombrero
    October 28, 2020 at 6:11 pm | #

    Mike said: “Bean me up into your mom, Scotty!” And he dissapeared.

    Er… I’ll take myself out, thanks.

    • Sombrero
      Sombrero
      October 28, 2020 at 6:13 pm | #

      As Karma would have it, this (typos and all) was meant as a reply to Needfuldoer a lot of comments above.

  33. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    October 28, 2020 at 7:51 pm | #

    most comfy chair GET

  34. MaximumZero
    MaximumZero
    October 28, 2020 at 11:23 pm | #

    She’ll fashion you a trophy, but it’s gonna cost you your shoes.

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