Dumbing of Age Book Twelve

Dumbing of Age

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June 1, 2026

Near-sighted

by David M Willis on January 8, 2021 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - Look Straight Ahead
└ Tags: becky, dorothy, joyce

Discussion (175) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. BBCC
    BBCC
    January 8, 2021 at 12:05 am | #

    Dorothy, you have to learn what will appeal to Joyce to get that to work.

    Try, “Think of it as us being twinsies. Forever.”

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      January 8, 2021 at 12:06 am | #

      AWWWWW SICK! Not Sal, but a pretty damn good gravitar.

      • Emperor Norton II
        Emperor Norton II
        January 8, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

        We are still a bit sad over losing Sierra, but We are also happy that you got a motherfucking goddess today.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          January 8, 2021 at 12:10 am | #

          BEST motherfucking goddess <3

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        January 8, 2021 at 12:09 am | #

        Carla is a pretty sweet score. Not as sweet as Hexadecimal, but definitely the upper tier of the comic cast.

        • Hilzabub
          Hilzabub
          January 8, 2021 at 1:33 pm | #

          If Hexadecimal was one of the possibilities, I’d probably settle for the default set of gravitas.

          I’d also settle for either of Hack or Slash.

          • GeekRyuu
            GeekRyuu
            January 8, 2021 at 7:26 pm | #

            What about Pinkie?

      • Kyrik Michalowski
        Kyrik Michalowski
        January 8, 2021 at 12:09 am | #

        Carla is a pretty good second choice if you can’t get Sal.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          January 8, 2021 at 12:10 am | #

          Oh, believe you me, if I can’t get Sal, I’m coming right back to this one.

          • clif
            clif
            January 8, 2021 at 12:14 am | #

            Make a note so you don’t have to experiment to find Carla again.

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              January 8, 2021 at 12:15 am | #

              It’s an easy combo to remember, but fair point.

          • Carla's #2 Fan
            Carla's #2 Fan
            January 8, 2021 at 7:33 am | #

            Carla is always my first choice! How do you get random ones?

            • Deanatay
              Deanatay
              January 8, 2021 at 12:47 pm | #

              Change the capitalization on your email address. Although I’m not sure how well that works if you already have a Grav…

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      January 8, 2021 at 12:10 am | #

      The problem is she needs to appeal to Joyce without triggering Becky into ultra rival mode.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        January 8, 2021 at 12:15 am | #

        Eh, she and Becky can be twinsies with their clothes. They love doing that!

    • Sirksome
      Sirksome
      January 8, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

      Yo! Welcome to the club! I’d reroll mine but I really don’t want to downgrade.

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        January 8, 2021 at 12:15 am | #

        I completely understand.

      • Bogeywoman
        Bogeywoman
        January 8, 2021 at 12:28 am | #

        TRIPLETSIESSSS

        • Diane
          Diane
          January 8, 2021 at 2:43 pm | #

          QUADRUPLETS!

          And yeah, I get the urge to reroll, I kinda wanted a space cadet, but Carla is just too badass.

          • Arian
            Arian
            January 8, 2021 at 11:01 pm | #

            Quins! 😀

    • Bogeywoman
      Bogeywoman
      January 8, 2021 at 12:28 am | #

      TWINSSSSIEEEESSSSS

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        January 8, 2021 at 3:19 pm | #

        Seeing that wall of Carlas is very distracting.

    • Segnosaur
      Segnosaur
      January 8, 2021 at 1:45 am | #

      If she wants to appeal to Joyce she could try bringing up the fact that Jacob wore glasses. (As did the girl Jacob had been dating)

  2. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    January 8, 2021 at 12:07 am | #

    It’s a slippery slope though. One day you’re getting new frames and the next you’re replacing your heart with machinery and cutting off your hand to make room for the laser cannon!

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      January 8, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

      I would totally replace my hands with robotic ones. I want full on Lady Deathstrike hands!

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      January 8, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

      I want to slide down that slippery slope at full speed. Who needs my disgusting, repugnant, human body when I could have a mechanical body?

      • clif
        clif
        January 8, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

        I’m rather found of mine, but will definitely trade for one that won’t wear out or is easy to upgrade and replace.

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        January 8, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

        We’re getting closer. You’d be surprised how many organs can be replaced at least partially with synthetic ones. I have a replacement heart valve myself. Limbs are getting closer and closer to replicating human articulation. I’d say another century if we get there and it could be a reality.

      • Opus the Poet
        Opus the Poet
        January 8, 2021 at 12:58 am | #

        My character’s body in Shadowrun is 118 YO me with all the bugs fixed, including the short leg from the wreck matched to how tall I would be if my legs were proportioned like the Vitruvian Man (da Vinci).

      • Xenocide
        Xenocide
        January 8, 2021 at 3:21 am | #

        Just give me new skin
        With mechanical-like arms
        And x-ray eyes
        And ears to hear your needs

      • Mnemnosyne
        Mnemnosyne
        January 8, 2021 at 12:37 pm | #

        Especially if my mechanical body can look like Major Kusanagi.

    • Amias
      Amias
      January 8, 2021 at 1:21 am | #

      May nothing get infected. May nothing get rejected.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      January 8, 2021 at 2:47 am | #

      You say that like it’s a bad thing.

    • Raznaak
      Raznaak
      January 8, 2021 at 2:36 pm | #

      The flesh is weak, Praise to the Omnissiah!

  3. JetstreamGW
    JetstreamGW
    January 8, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

    Oh my god please stop whining, Joyce 😛

    • Stephen Bierce
      Stephen Bierce
      January 8, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

      Resistance Is Futile

    • Rainhat
      Rainhat
      January 8, 2021 at 12:14 am | #

      I think the saving grace will be whether or not she’s grateful, or even notices, the degree to which people are accomodating her… whole thing.

      Ive known way too many people who would simply say it was their due.

      • timemonkey
        timemonkey
        January 8, 2021 at 12:21 am | #

        Joyce would absolutely be just as accomadating if the positions were revered.

        I mean, Joyce took it upon herself to support Becky when she was broke and homeless and being hunted by her dad. She’s not exactly an all take and no giove kind of person.

    • crow
      crow
      January 8, 2021 at 2:32 am | #

      This is the FUN PART, Joyce!

      • Xenocide
        Xenocide
        January 8, 2021 at 3:12 am | #

        Followed quickly by the least fun paying for the glasses part!

      • FacelessDeviant
        FacelessDeviant
        January 8, 2021 at 9:01 am | #

        Its also the very expensive part.

    • Shade
      Shade
      January 8, 2021 at 3:43 am | #

      Honestly I get where Joyce is coming from, she’s had a lot of shit change in her life very quickly and something like this while small is just one more thing in a large pile.

      It needs to be done but it might be a good idea to give Joyce a little control of when by say at least letting her do it tomorrow.

      • He Who Abides
        He Who Abides
        January 8, 2021 at 6:54 am | #

        100% this. It wouldn’t surprise me if Joyce had a breakdown about her current lack of control, honestly.

      • Eclipsa
        Eclipsa
        January 8, 2021 at 5:33 pm | #

        I agree. Dorothy’s been pushy about this whole thing as it is (with good intentions, I can tell she cares, but still).

        I kinda wish Dororthy would have just been honest with Joyce, explaining to her the whole “agoraphobia/can’t see distances” thing like she did to Becky. Maybe not in the exact words but I can see Joyce understanding the concept of “seeing better = feeling safer.”

      • JetstreamGW
        JetstreamGW
        January 9, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

        See, the thing is, if you let Joyce say she’ll do it tomorrow, tomorrow will never arrive. This is known.

  4. C.T Phipps
    C.T Phipps
    January 8, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

    It’s funny because I was just assembling my collection of cyberpunk anime from college.

    GIRL IN THE SHELL: STAND TOGETHER COMPLEX

    *’Inner Universe’ starts playing as Joyce falls off a building and lands with a thud*

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      January 8, 2021 at 12:27 am | #

      I was idly watching GITS:SAC a while back, and one of the characters (Batou?) said he was switching to “Autistic Mode” and I was baffled for a full minute. My first thought was “What, is he gonna start writing Sonic fanfics?”

      Then I read a bit online and found out the word applies to more than just People Like Me. Cyberpunk is important.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      January 8, 2021 at 2:56 am | #

      GITS:SAC is my favorite anime.

  5. Nono
    Nono
    January 8, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

    Cyborg was the 2nd best Teen Titan though.

    • timemonkey
      timemonkey
      January 8, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

      I suppose so, if you count Starfire and Raven as tied for best.

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        January 8, 2021 at 12:30 am | #

        Raven isn’t voiced by a fascist, so there’s that.

        • Poskie
          Poskie
          January 8, 2021 at 2:46 am | #

          Wait, did something happen with Hynden Walch? I searched for recent controversies surrounding her but found nothing.

        • Zee
          Zee
          January 8, 2021 at 10:58 am | #

          Tara strong is a vocal supporter of peta so, not fascist level but she’s not great either. Also what happened with the voice of starfire, i can’t find anything either

        • Delicious Taffy
          Delicious Taffy
          January 8, 2021 at 5:51 pm | #

          Hold on, I was thinking of another show entirely. I forget who I meant, didn’t mean to do a libel.

          Then again, voice acting sure does have a lot of bad eggs in general, so can we be too safe?

  6. Kyrik Michalowski
    Kyrik Michalowski
    January 8, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

    Come on Joyce, everyone can be improved with cybernetic enhancements, just think about it. Besides, being a cyborg means the AI won’t try to kill you when they inevitably take over.

    • Mr D
      Mr D
      January 8, 2021 at 12:14 am | #

      You gotta make sure to keep yo essence as high and pristine as possible or you turn into a Cyberzombie.

      And your magic turns really shitty, even if you stay over the cyberzombie line.

      • Khyrin
        Khyrin
        January 8, 2021 at 11:16 am | #

        being high-Essence isn’t all what it’s cracked up to be.

        My Ork Mage with her untouched essence fountained blood from Overcasting at least once EVERY Session. I once got bonus EXP for LARPing by falling asleep IRL because my character was insensate and sleeping it off in the Decker’s ridiculously overbuilt mobile command center/panel van.

  7. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    January 8, 2021 at 12:09 am | #

    I don’t remember what joke I originally made this for, but I have it and it seems appropriate.

    • Kyrik Michalowski
      Kyrik Michalowski
      January 8, 2021 at 12:10 am | #

      How horrifying yet accurate to the future.

      • clif
        clif
        January 8, 2021 at 12:26 am | #

        Want as refrigerator magnet.

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      January 8, 2021 at 2:44 am | #

      If the Borg looked as cute as that, I’d be all in favor of being assimilated.

      • Sunny
        Sunny
        January 8, 2021 at 7:14 am | #

        I did a little googling and I believe the original artist is nightwing1975 on deviantart, who has also drawn several other Disney princesses as assimilated by the Borg. I really like this one of Belle: https://www.deviantart.com/nightwing1975/art/belle-borg-in-alcove-691825261

        • Khyrin
          Khyrin
          January 8, 2021 at 11:20 am | #

          more specifically, it was edited from <a href="https://www.deviantart.com/nightwing1975/art/princess-borg-commission-179640177"this image by pasting Joyce’s head into the image.

    • Geneseepaw
      Geneseepaw
      January 8, 2021 at 2:55 am | #

      That Mecha-Joyce is a wonderful thing. I’ll bet that’s what she looks like in her own Power dreams.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      January 8, 2021 at 1:02 pm | #

      Not accurate any more, as Joyce is cyborging both eyes. Needs updating.

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        January 8, 2021 at 3:26 pm | #

        I see cyborg technology is not quite at the level of cyborgifying the triangle smile yet.

    • clif
      clif
      January 8, 2021 at 2:26 pm | #

      Speaking of jokes:

      Question: What is the difference between the US Capitol and Mordor?

      Answer: One does not simply walk into Mordor.

  8. Pagemistress
    Pagemistress
    January 8, 2021 at 12:10 am | #

    That reminds me, I should see if my insurance will let me get another eye exam, cause I am super sure that I need a new prescription.

    • Pagemistress
      Pagemistress
      January 8, 2021 at 12:11 am | #

      Aw, man! I want my Brit in a bowtie back! This one doesn’t fit me at all!

  9. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    January 8, 2021 at 12:11 am | #

    *plays De La Soul’s “Eye Know” on the hacked Muzak*

    • Lone Duck
      Lone Duck
      January 8, 2021 at 6:49 am | #

      YES!

  10. Rainhat
    Rainhat
    January 8, 2021 at 12:11 am | #

    “Well, if you’d rather have contacts…”

    • Astaphe
      Astaphe
      January 8, 2021 at 8:58 am | #

      I get the feeling Joyce would be mortally allergic to the thought of something touching her eyeball

      • Diane
        Diane
        January 8, 2021 at 2:30 pm | #

        Can you imagine how many strips would just be Joyce struggling to put it in her eye…only for the contact to flip right before.

  11. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    January 8, 2021 at 12:12 am | #

    You could always get contacts. Big bright ones to increase your saucer-like eyeball’s already powerful presence. Just blind people with your gaze.

    • Nono
      Nono
      January 8, 2021 at 12:21 am | #

      She already has the Triangle Grin. Have some pity for Sarah who has to wake up to that each morning.

  12. Dave Van Domelen
    Dave Van Domelen
    January 8, 2021 at 12:13 am | #

    At least she didn’t get her eyes dilated. Good luck picking out frames while dilated.

    • Pinkie
      Pinkie
      January 8, 2021 at 12:37 am | #

      That’s unpleasant. Last time I went for an exam, they dilated my eyes and it took out my close range vision, and I had to get the office person to read off the prices on the frames.

    • TheFlamingonator
      TheFlamingonator
      January 8, 2021 at 8:34 am | #

      I second this; once got my eyes dilated and had to walk back home with fuzzy eyes through a busy city in the summer. I cant remember if i bumped into anyone but definitely got some looks since i walked slowly and had my hands up a little.

      Air puff > dilation

    • Diane
      Diane
      January 8, 2021 at 2:28 pm | #

      I don’t remember having too many issues with that when I got dilated, but the place I go to, they’re like “what kinda glasses” and I’m just “purple, no wirey” and they picked out a bunch for me to try. It might have helped that it was shady inside, because the moment I walked outside, life was regrets. At least the fiancee got a kick outta it.

  13. Amber
    Amber
    January 8, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

    I kinda feel Joyce’s pain though. I’m far-sighted and I’ve always struggled finding frames that I like…

    • Amber
      Amber
      January 8, 2021 at 12:19 am | #

      What. TIL Blowjob Cat is an option.

  14. Suzi
    Suzi
    January 8, 2021 at 12:21 am | #

    As an actual cyborg, with mechanical organs and all, I vaguely feel offended Dororthy thinks glasses are all it takes lol

    • Opus the Poet
      Opus the Poet
      January 8, 2021 at 1:03 am | #

      Really? What have you got? I’m about due to replace both knees and my left hip because of the wreck.

      • Suzi
        Suzi
        January 8, 2021 at 6:39 pm | #

        Combination of insulin pump+Continuous glucose monitor constantly talking to each other! And if my dad’s heart condition gets passed down to me, one day I’ll get a pacemaker. Huzzah for chronic conditions.

  15. Johan
    Johan
    January 8, 2021 at 12:21 am | #

    She’s gonna get glasses and Joe is gonna explode and Jacob will forgive her and Dan will stalk her.

    • LiterallyJustSomeGuy
      LiterallyJustSomeGuy
      January 8, 2021 at 12:24 am | #

      I WOULD like to see Joe’s reaction to Joyce in glasses

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        January 8, 2021 at 10:31 am | #

        Probably the face he pulls in the middle of this strip:
        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-8/03-faz-is-great/work-2/

        Followed by the last panel from this one:
        https://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/04-the-do-list/chubby/

    • DaveM
      DaveM
      January 8, 2021 at 12:31 am | #

      Maybe she’ll get glasses and everyone will be all golden age superhero style…
      “Hello blond girl with triangle grin, have you seen Joyce recently?”
      (Joyce removes glasses)
      “(gasp) Joyce? But how? And where did the other girl go?”
      🙂 🙂 🙂

      • Astaphe
        Astaphe
        January 8, 2021 at 9:00 am | #

        I mean, it works for Amazigirl…

  16. KSClaw
    KSClaw
    January 8, 2021 at 12:22 am | #

    I hope they find some really cute ones that will help on the mood

  17. Mra
    Mra
    January 8, 2021 at 12:23 am | #

    She could also get contact lenses, if she doesn’t mind poking herself in the eye.

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      January 8, 2021 at 1:09 am | #

      “Doesn’t mind poking herself in the eye.”

      It’s Joyce.

    • J
      J
      January 8, 2021 at 1:23 am | #

      Given the new comment avatars, I suspect she’s going to hard veto that one! I look forward when she gets those shades, though!

      • King Daniel
        King Daniel
        January 8, 2021 at 3:38 am | #

        Those sweet shades don’t belong to Joyce – they belong to Julia Gray, space pilot extraordinaire and-definitely-not-Joyce’s-fanfic-self-insert. 😛

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      January 8, 2021 at 1:57 am | #

      We just saw how she reacted to getting a puff of air in her eye… and you’re suggesting she poke her fingers in there?  Now THAT’S funny!!

      • Diane
        Diane
        January 8, 2021 at 2:23 pm | #

        My thoughts exactly. It’s my reason for glasses, not contacts.

  18. Spookyfox
    Spookyfox
    January 8, 2021 at 12:24 am | #

    well it’s either this or they give you new eyes, joyce

    • Geneseepaw
      Geneseepaw
      January 8, 2021 at 3:01 am | #

      You can’t just buy them like Rick Deckard did, in BladeRunner. Although new corneas are an option.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        January 8, 2021 at 5:48 pm | #

        I mean, you can just buy eyes. Just don’t ask where they came from.

  19. Holly Adkins
    Holly Adkins
    January 8, 2021 at 12:30 am | #

    It’s not a college experience unless someone references The Cyborg Manifesto, even if accidentally

  20. LiterallyJustSomeGuy
    LiterallyJustSomeGuy
    January 8, 2021 at 12:31 am | #

    Totes jelly. Except I wear glasses, so totes smug about that all over again.

    I didn’t get glasses until I was an adult entering the workforce with an office job, because I would lose my ability to read by the end of a workday. When people were like, “you could get contacts,” I was like, “No thanks! I like the way I look in glasses.”

    Most people didn’t even notice when I got glasses until I pointed them out, and one person even asked me, “What did you have before…?” So I guess they work well with my face, lol

    • Axel
      Axel
      January 8, 2021 at 12:40 am | #

      I’m considering contacts because for the last couple years my glasses just seem to be dirty all the time. I think it’s because I cut my hair, and now it touches the lenses more.

      Also if I know what contacts fit me I can also get coloured ones, and even non-prescription coloured ones for under my glasses.

      • LiterallyJustSomeGuy
        LiterallyJustSomeGuy
        January 8, 2021 at 12:53 am | #

        Are you considering contacts colored like normal human eye colors or contacts colored in bizarre, distinctive, inhuman ways?

        • Axel
          Axel
          January 8, 2021 at 1:22 am | #

          bizarre, distinctive, and inhuman for sure.

          maybe some natural ones if I need some soup to feed my family though

  21. Koms
    Koms
    January 8, 2021 at 12:37 am | #

    If Sal got glasses Joyce would be more eager.. what a random thought. I remember it was very depressing for me to get my first pair of glasses and to know I would have to wear them constantly. So I kind of understand what Joyce is feeling.

  22. Bagge
    Bagge
    January 8, 2021 at 12:52 am | #

    Glasses sisters!

    Yeay, Becky should be jelly

  23. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    January 8, 2021 at 12:54 am | #

    I used to want glasses a lot since my siblings got them and I didn’t. I still wonder if I’d look good with glasses.

    I’d suggest Joyce can wear contacts, but that might spook her even more.

    • sultryglebe
      sultryglebe
      January 8, 2021 at 1:05 am | #

      I can’t imagine Joyce sticking something in each eye daily, but that may just be because I could never imagine myself doing it, and thus I have worn glasses for 35 years.

      • He Who Abides
        He Who Abides
        January 8, 2021 at 6:59 am | #

        Same here. Not only that, but I also have prescription sunglasses for work.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      January 8, 2021 at 9:18 am | #

      There’s nothing stopping you but the purchase price.

    • Eclipsa
      Eclipsa
      January 8, 2021 at 5:38 pm | #

      You can get blue light flitering lenses without a prescription. Probably not a bad idea considering how many screens are in our daily lives nowadays.

  24. Tim
    Tim
    January 8, 2021 at 1:06 am | #

    Did I get a new grav?

    • Tim
      Tim
      January 8, 2021 at 1:06 am | #

      The horniest lesbian…it’s like you looked into my heart!

  25. Reltzik
    Reltzik
    January 8, 2021 at 1:45 am | #

    Sorry, Joyce, but if you’re picking out a new part of your face, board tradition requires that the frames you pick out look like 4 A-frames stuck together.

    …. because it’s going to be part of your faAAAAce.

  26. Segnosaur
    Segnosaur
    January 8, 2021 at 1:54 am | #

    I don’t quite get Becky’s comment in the last panel, about being jely (jealous).

    What is she jealous of? The idea of being a”Cyborg”? I don’t remember her ever talking about robots or technology before.

    • Shade
      Shade
      January 8, 2021 at 3:51 am | #

      She likes science though.

    • Zee
      Zee
      January 8, 2021 at 11:03 am | #

      It’s a cool thing, becky likes cool things. It’s just a throwaway line

      • clif
        clif
        January 8, 2021 at 2:12 pm | #

        There is cyborg and then there is jelly.

        • Agemegos
          Agemegos
          January 8, 2021 at 2:32 pm | #

          Cyborgs are not good on sandwiches.

  27. crow
    crow
    January 8, 2021 at 2:30 am | #

    Don’t worry Joyce, I don’t think there’s a great many options in this universe.

  28. Keulen
    Keulen
    January 8, 2021 at 2:43 am | #

    Dorothy just made wearing glasses sound way cooler than it actually is.

  29. BenRG
    BenRG
    January 8, 2021 at 3:12 am | #

    Naturally Dorothy would love to be a cyborg because she’s ultimately a geek and into geeky things. That was her common ground with Danny and Walky, IMO!

    Meanwhile, Joyce freaking out about ‘changing her face’ seems to be another brick in the edifice that tells us she is somewhere on the autistic spectrum.

    • Shade
      Shade
      January 8, 2021 at 3:56 am | #

      I would say her being worried about small changes right now is pretty common for anyone whose dealt with a lot of large changes one after the other.

      Though I remember my optometrist telling me I was taking the news I needed glasses very well, so guess some people just don’t react to needing glasses very well in general.

      • BenRG
        BenRG
        January 8, 2021 at 4:13 am | #

        It’s not the freaking out at needing glasses that has attracted my attention. It’s specifically the terminology Joyce used: “Changing my face”.

  30. Kris
    Kris
    January 8, 2021 at 3:15 am | #

    Okay but seriously, what does she have against glasses?

    • Kris
      Kris
      January 8, 2021 at 3:16 am | #

      You know what? My nonbinary self is okay with this gravstar

    • clif
      clif
      January 8, 2021 at 2:16 pm | #

      The eyes are windows into the soul.

      Do you want people using your glasses to peep at your soul?

  31. 0kami
    0kami
    January 8, 2021 at 4:16 am | #

    Getting flashbacks of Seinfeld. “I don’t WANNA be a pirate!”

  32. Nevermaker
    Nevermaker
    January 8, 2021 at 5:09 am | #

    Hey, I’m down for Becky being a cyborg: with the haircut, she’d basically become a Shadowrun character.

    • BenRG
      BenRG
      January 8, 2021 at 6:09 am | #

      A lot of the female characters in Cyberpunk 2077 seem to have that sort of hairstyle too. It leaves space free for the thumb drive port.

  33. Slartibeast Button, BIA
    Slartibeast Button, BIA
    January 8, 2021 at 5:51 am | #

    ‘Who says girls with glasses don’t get passes? It all depends on their frames.”

    [/ObOldSexistOpticalShopAdvertisement]

  34. Alan in DC
    Alan in DC
    January 8, 2021 at 6:25 am | #

    The air puff freaked her put that badly? Better not tell her about Lasik… her eyes will flip inside-out like they did the first time Ruth threatened her femurs.

    Maybe repeated flips like that are what did in her vision.

    • MrSmith
      MrSmith
      January 8, 2021 at 7:37 am | #

      I had lasik done approx 20 years ago, wasn’t too bad but the clamp on the eye was a strange feeling and when that laser started I had all these visions of sci fi movies running through my head

      My eyesight reverted back to normal (by normal I mean bad) after a couple of years so basically a waste of time, and money

  35. Lone Duck
    Lone Duck
    January 8, 2021 at 6:48 am | #

    I guess Dorothy needs to change Joyce’s frame of mind, before she makes a spectacle of herself. No plan survives first contacts after all. Trying to get too much too soon is short-sighted.

    • goggleman64
      goggleman64
      January 8, 2021 at 7:11 am | #

      *applauds*

  36. goggleman64
    goggleman64
    January 8, 2021 at 7:13 am | #

    Man, now I can’t unsee Dorothy and Becky acting as Joyce’s moms.

  37. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    January 8, 2021 at 8:39 am | #

    Becky, you can always pick out frames and have zero-strength lenses put in them if you want. (But unless you’re buying readers off the rack at the drugstore or have a vision plan, it’s gonna get expensive.)

  38. FacelessDeviant
    FacelessDeviant
    January 8, 2021 at 8:59 am | #

    Ok Joyce, now you’re just talking crazy.
    Not wanting to become a cyborg?

    I’ll chalk it up to just being shot with air in the eye, but jeez!

    • Azhrei Vep
      Azhrei Vep
      January 8, 2021 at 9:41 am | #

      I have never related to Joyce less than in this very comic.

  39. WanderingLynx
    WanderingLynx
    January 8, 2021 at 9:49 am | #

    Oh man, I WISH DOROTHY WAS BEING LITERAL. I’ve got no problem with my glasses (and I actually think I like my face better with them), but my entire mortal carcass is falling apart due to fibro. I REJECT THIS BIOLOGICAL NIGHTMARE! CYBORG BODIES, FREE, FOR FREE, AND OF GOOD QUALITY!11! I’d give up some of my senses for being able to not be in pain lmaooo

    Plus imagine being an enby like yours truly and having a cyborg bod you can shift according to your wishes. Like that one from Terminator 2~ 8D

    • WanderingLynx
      WanderingLynx
      January 8, 2021 at 9:49 am | #

      PS: Joyce, you know you wanna be twinsies with Dorothy. Go go go ;3

      • WanderingLynx
        WanderingLynx
        January 8, 2021 at 9:50 am | #

        FUCK YEAH BOOSTER! Jackpot. Thank you, Gravatar Roulette ;w;

    • Vulcanodon
      Vulcanodon
      January 8, 2021 at 9:58 am | #

      Second that! Sixty-three years old and holding it together with fibromyalgia and heart trouble and often have the same thought. Imagine being a T-1000 superhero…

      • WanderingLynx
        WanderingLynx
        January 8, 2021 at 8:02 pm | #

        Oww, I’m sending you all the spoons in the World. Hang in there. Science advances so fast there might be hope for all of us yet, even without Skynet :’)

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      January 8, 2021 at 11:30 am | #

      Not fibromyalgia (we believe,) but chronic joint pain, various miscellaneous health issues, and limited mental/social dysphoria but an intense distress about my reproductive system. In other words, god, same. Grant me freedom from this accursed meatsack binding me to the world.

      • WanderingLynx
        WanderingLynx
        January 8, 2021 at 8:08 pm | #

        This comment resonates with me in a visceral level. Sending you solidarity and a message of hope: We might be able to GhostInTheShell ourselves in a decade or two :’)

        (I’m sorry if I’m overstepping! Just. Fibro is a diagnosis you arrive to basically when you’ve discarded most other possibilities, so I usually try to help other people figuring it out? So… Bloodwork showing abysmally low vitamin D and B-complex levels, and an MRI to rule out Spondylosis are usually required… Along with a simpler test: Have you tried applying pressure to Fibro-related trigger points? It feels like your whole neural system screams when you do it; and there’s charts online to show you where they are.)

    • misanthropope
      misanthropope
      January 8, 2021 at 2:53 pm | #

      little known fact: after Skynet was finally blown up, the T2 chassis was repurposed as a sex toy. human extinction came precisely one human lifetime later.

      • Mordecai
        Mordecai
        January 8, 2021 at 4:40 pm | #

        The realistic timeline…

      • WanderingLynx
        WanderingLynx
        January 8, 2021 at 8:10 pm | #

        sdglskdjgkl WAS IT BY EXHAUSTION

  40. John
    John
    January 8, 2021 at 9:59 am | #

    I never thought the concept of me wearing glasses made me a cyborg.

    Ah man, one step closer to my dream of being a badass Edgerunner!!

    • John
      John
      January 8, 2021 at 9:59 am | #

      Yes! Awesome Gravitar!!

  41. egg egg
    egg egg
    January 8, 2021 at 10:09 am | #

    Does Joyce not realize that glasses aren’t, like, permanently attached to your face? That you can take them off if you don’t need them for an event?

    I only wear my glasses when I go into the office or am expecting to read street signs while driving somewhere new.

    • Daibhid C
      Daibhid C
      January 8, 2021 at 10:32 am | #

      We don’t really know how short-sighted she is, and at this point neither does she. My glasses became pretty much permenantly attached to my face the second I realised, “Wait, the world has this much detail to it? Why did nobody tell me about that sooner?”

      I sympathise with Joyce having a very narrow comfort zone, and altering her self-image in any way is well outside it; it’s just that over the past, gosh, thirty-six years, mine has very much beome that of someone who wears glasses.

      (Actually, for the first few years, I guess my self-image was more of someone who should be wearing glasses, and would be doing so as soon as they were repaired/replaced.)

      • Nelly Dreadful
        Nelly Dreadful
        January 8, 2021 at 7:50 pm | #

        Yeah, Joyce’s glasses reluctance might soften once she sees some trees. That was what did it for me at age nine. Like, holy shit you can see INDIVIDUAL LEAVES holy shit they’re all MOVING!!!!1!!?!

        It’s winter sadly so we can’t just show Joyce some trees right now but I dunno, winter equivalents, um, snowflakes? Stars? Can you see stars from campus or is there too much light pollution?

    • plasticwrap
      plasticwrap
      January 8, 2021 at 1:19 pm | #

      Shouldn’t you be wearing them any time you’re driving, not just when you wanna read street signs?

      • voidsiren
        voidsiren
        January 9, 2021 at 7:39 pm | #

        Nah, my vision is pretty alright except for when I’m just waking up. I can read street signs without my glasses, but I used to get real bad anxiety when I would drive to new places. My glasses would help with that.

  42. TheFlamingonator
    TheFlamingonator
    January 8, 2021 at 10:11 am | #

    Hey joyce think about it this way: now you can switch glasses with dorothy and have a cute moment of bonding about your not-perfect eye-sight

    • Julez
      Julez
      January 8, 2021 at 10:51 am | #

      Uh they probably don’t have the same prescription.

      • Joyfulldreams
        Joyfulldreams
        January 8, 2021 at 1:10 pm | #

        Yeah that’s the point of the cute moment of bonding. You switch glasses and go either “wooah your eyesight is WAY worse than mine” and “I’m blind! Aaa!” or “I’m superior because my eyes are more broken” based on how different your prescriptions are.

      • Diane
        Diane
        January 8, 2021 at 2:18 pm | #

        As someone with glasses, I’ve lost count how many times me and my fellow glasses friends would swap glasses or let good sight people see ours just to see how bad our vision is. It’s fun and silly.

  43. Juanoku
    Juanoku
    January 8, 2021 at 10:50 am | #

    Eh, it’s not so bad
    Until your eyesight gets worse and then you can’t see shit even with your glasses

  44. Zee
    Zee
    January 8, 2021 at 11:08 am | #

    I gave up on getting glasses in person, the frames here are always out of style and are ridiculously expensive. I’m p sure i paid for blue light block one year and didnt even get it. I just buy online now, it’s cheap and they actually have cute frames :p
    (I use glassesshop btw, glasses usa is still too expensive imo)

  45. TheScreenJockey
    TheScreenJockey
    January 8, 2021 at 12:24 pm | #

    “I don’t WANNA be a cyborg!”

    Okay, Joyce, I know it’s been a long day and you’ve been under a lot of stress, but let’s not say things we’ll live to regret.

  46. plasticwrap
    plasticwrap
    January 8, 2021 at 1:15 pm | #

    You could always get contacts…

  47. Jhon
    Jhon
    January 8, 2021 at 1:45 pm | #

    Jelly?
    P.B. + jelly = sandwich?

    • Diane
      Diane
      January 8, 2021 at 2:13 pm | #

      Silly fact your comment made me think of: My cat gets jealous when I give my other cat attention. He doesn’t hurt her or anything, but he tries to intimidate her to leave me alone so he can get attention. Every time he does this, I call him Peanut Butter Jelly kitty. Cause he’s so jelly (jealous) of the attention he’s not getting that very second.

  48. Diane
    Diane
    January 8, 2021 at 2:16 pm | #

    Near sided triplets, woo! I don’t know how bad my vision is, but everything past a foot of my face is blurry, and my glasses lens’ tend to be pretty thick. I’ll take it over astigmatism, that shit can be expensive.

  49. Heather
    Heather
    January 8, 2021 at 3:23 pm | #

    The most frustrating thing about picking frames is because the display lenses are just basic glass you can’t easily see what you really look like in a mirror: you can’t see it clearly from a distance in my case. Thankfully iPhones now exist in almost everyone’s hands so that helps these days.

    They sure as hell didn’t seem to be around when I first got them though. God my first frames sucked ass. Ugly as hell thin grey things.

  50. DarkoNeko
    DarkoNeko
    January 8, 2021 at 5:37 pm | #

    give up already, yo…
    wait. She’s gonna get contacts maybe. Tho they’re scary in their own way.

  51. Rikunda
    Rikunda
    January 8, 2021 at 7:31 pm | #

    Becky come on! You know this is important. Time for you to BFF up!

  52. ian livs
    ian livs
    January 9, 2021 at 12:04 am | #

    Just picked out glasses of my own today. It’s always fun when the timelines coincide like this, lol

  53. Kali
    Kali
    January 9, 2021 at 11:36 pm | #

    ugh…. i should see about a new prescription and see also about getting frames that help a little in appearing a bit more feminine… my current glasses are from a time i didn’t care how i looked…. i regret this now…

  54. cbwroses
    cbwroses
    January 25, 2021 at 10:42 pm | #

    “Thinking of it as becoming a cyborg.”
    Wearing glasses has never been more awesome.

    • cbwroses
      cbwroses
      January 25, 2021 at 10:44 pm | #

      Damn autocorrect. Or is that word fill? Whatever. Stupid typing feature that’s supposed to make typing faster and more convenient (and usually does).

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