Dumbing of Age Book Eleven

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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BUFFER WATCH Comics are currently drawn and uploaded through:

September 28, 2023

Laps

by David M Willis on June 10, 2021 at 12:01 am
  • 05 – As Long As It's Free

└ Tags: amazi-girl, asher, carla, jennifer, malaya, sal

Discussion (197) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    June 10, 2021 at 12:05 am | #

    THROW HER INTA SLAMBER

    …

    for asSALt and battery

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      June 10, 2021 at 10:14 am | #

      THAT’S SLAMAZI-GIRL DAMMIT

      • Clif
        Clif
        June 10, 2021 at 2:51 pm | #

        This!!!

        Just what Sal needs. More distractions.

  2. Wagstaff
    Wagstaff
    June 10, 2021 at 12:05 am | #

    *plays “RE” by zeroSCAR on Voxola PR-76*

    • khn0
      khn0
      June 10, 2021 at 7:23 am | #

      well since this derby thing begun, all I can hear is the battucada playing the speed of noise by Total Fucking Destruction…

      • milu
        milu
        June 10, 2021 at 10:01 am | #

        link

        sick tunes, both of you. cheers \m/ d-_-b \m/

        • Wagstaff
          Wagstaff
          June 10, 2021 at 3:52 pm | #

          Thanks!!!

          Great to see you Milu! Care to share more delightfully dark dreams? If you share yours, I’ll share mine!

          • milu
            milu
            June 10, 2021 at 4:30 pm | #

            kinky! i don’t always remember mine, but i’ll definitely tell you next time i get a Vision From Yonder as i like to call them.

            (i’m just messing with you)

            do tell me yours though =)

            • Wagstaff
              Wagstaff
              June 10, 2021 at 4:48 pm | #

              Last one was absolutely incredible. I was leaping super fast and super high like a ninja through a giant Costco (and I mean GIANT, like 10x bigger than any I had ever seen). One point I leaped so high that I made on to a platform that was like a room hidden in the roof, where I found Dpug Rattman or someone preparing for the apocalypse or something (he had a fully stocked store fridge and everything).

              I was in complete control of my moves too, and I felt this kind of energy pulsing through my body the entire time I was moving! Also there were these moments were time just seemed to slow down, and one were I shot straight across the concession area perfectly!!!

              I even managed to pay for what I got at the end, which included an odd magazine and a box of TV cookies which my aunt had somehow got hooked on.

              Overall, a very bizarre and amazing experience!!!!

              • milu
                milu
                June 10, 2021 at 5:00 pm | #

                oh my god that’s an amazing dream!!
                i don’t often do crazy shenanigans like that in my dreams, maybe i should play videogames?? (i had to look up Dpug Rattman)

                i love the dream-logic of knowing someone’s ready for the apocalypse because, like, their fridge is full XD

                • Wagstaff
                  Wagstaff
                  June 10, 2021 at 5:07 pm | #

                  That was my first guess. Why else would someone have a hidden living arrangement in the roof of a Costco?

                • milu
                  milu
                  June 10, 2021 at 5:21 pm | #

                  wait you mean that was your guess inside your dream, or once you’d woken up and thought back on it?

                  personally i think keeping loads of perishable stuff inside a fridge is bad survivalism

                • Wagstaff
                  Wagstaff
                  June 10, 2021 at 5:44 pm | #

                  My guess was kinda post hoc after I had the dream.

                  The fridge looked like it was stolen from an isle in a convenience store or something. Also there was a rack full of chip bags. The suggestion of apocalypse preparation was the first product of my heuristic in seeing stockpiles this advanced and incredibly hidden from view.

                  Also, just curious, what’s the story behind your alias? Is it a reference to the Hawaiian underworld diety by any chance?

                • milu
                  milu
                  June 10, 2021 at 6:22 pm | #

                  oh wowwww do you know i’ve never searched for it anywhere, not even on wikipedia?!

                  i guess one reason is i’m not all that social online, i mostly just roam and lurk.
                  most days this is the only online space i actually interact in. so, idk, i’m not led to think of my pseud all that much.

                  also, no, it’s a nickname i also have offline that’s actually a riff on my last name! sorry it’s kind of a non-story lol. i do like stories about online aliases, for many people they’re sorta like that slightly embarrassing tattoo you got when you were 19 and now you just gotta own ^^

                  well fuck, there’s also a song by a brazilian popstar called “Milu”, it has 300M views lol ok

                  where’s yours from?

                • Wagstaff
                  Wagstaff
                  June 10, 2021 at 8:41 pm | #

                  Glad you asked!

                  Wagstaff is a character from a game I play. He’s an inventor who embodies my curiosity and will to benefit the world with the power of science!

                  If you look carefully, you’ll find that I use a subtle reference to his background whenever I play music here!

  3. Sirksome
    Sirksome
    June 10, 2021 at 12:06 am | #

    Oh he’s here for some reason…..I don’t trust Asher. That is all.

    • Shitbird
      Shitbird
      June 10, 2021 at 12:07 am | #

      Neither do I

      • MacareuxMoine
        MacareuxMoine
        June 10, 2021 at 7:56 am | #

        funny to hear that from a Jennifer Avatar 😉

    • Proxiehunter
      Proxiehunter
      June 10, 2021 at 12:09 am | #

      Neither do I but in this case it could be an innocent date with Jennifer. Probably isn’t, but it could be.

      • Bryy
        Bryy
        June 10, 2021 at 12:13 am | #

        Narrator: It was not.

      • hof1991
        hof1991
        June 10, 2021 at 8:51 am | #

        Chekhov’s date. Of course this is meaningful. DYW is too economical to include characters at random.

        • Council
          Council
          June 10, 2021 at 9:48 am | #

          I think you are right. At the same time, Sal mistaking it for more than just an innocent date, when that’s all it really is, would be meaningful as a plot point.

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          June 10, 2021 at 11:00 am | #

          Tell that to the time Willis unexpectedly threw Amber’s mom Stacy in a bar with Leslie for a single strip, catching everyone by surprise, and then never brought it up again. (And everyone was speculating as to what it could mean at the time, too!) Sometimes Willis likes to put in a red herring or two, keep us on our toes.

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            June 10, 2021 at 2:58 pm | #

            Wasn’t completely a red herring. It was a hint that Stacy hadn’t gone home and would show up again the next day – this time with Richard.

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      June 10, 2021 at 12:09 am | #

      I don’t trust him either. I don’t hate him, necessarily, but I sure as hell don’t trust the guy who had a man assassinated to cover up his involvement in a crime.

      As for why he’s here… it’s a sporting event? I dunno, he doesn’t really need a reason. Plus he and Jennifer both grew up with two of the people on the team.

      • King Daniel
        King Daniel
        June 10, 2021 at 12:14 am | #

        Just another reminder that if Asher stealing his grandfather’s money to pay his way through college in spite of his grandfather’s wishes (information that Blaine even blackmailed Asher over!) came out, Asher would very likely be dead himself. The Mob doesn’t tend to play around with people who steal large sums of money from them.

        • Sirksome
          Sirksome
          June 10, 2021 at 12:25 am | #

          He shouldn’t have stolen the money then. Not in an ethical sense. Who really gives a shit if you steal from criminals? But it’s just a really stupid thing to do if it puts your life at risk. It’s not really a justification if you created the situation where someone has leverage over you.

          • Clif
            Clif
            June 10, 2021 at 1:36 am | #

            What’s the world coming to when a godfather can’t trust their own grandchild?

          • King Daniel
            King Daniel
            June 10, 2021 at 1:42 am | #

            Sure, but it’s not like he had a whole lot of options for getting away – gramps was already pressuring him to join the family business (and we know he was “disappointed” when Asher declined), and what little we know of child!Asher implies that he probably didn’t have the best home life, either. If that’s the case, I can’t exactly fault him for wanting out, even if he ended up Dumbing his way of going about it.

            • Needfuldoer
              Needfuldoer
              June 10, 2021 at 7:10 am | #

              I think he’s “doing the wrong things for the right reasons” with questionable morals. He says he wants to leave the family business, but he’ll still call in favors. He’ll eventually get a redemption arc, or he’ll end up as DoA’s Michael Corleone.

              Like others have said, he hasn’t really earned trust or derision yet.

    • Some1
      Some1
      June 10, 2021 at 12:11 am | #

      Come on, what could possibly make Asher untrustworthy? I mean, outside of the time he likely called a hit on someone?

      • BBCC
        BBCC
        June 10, 2021 at 12:18 am | #

        He called a hit on BLAINE, surely that’s a tick in his ‘good deed’ column?

        • RassilonTDavros
          RassilonTDavros
          June 10, 2021 at 1:13 am | #

          Blaine being dead is, overall, a good thing. However, Asher didn’t kill him because he was a piece of human garbage; Asher killed him because he knew too much. We have no reason to believe he wouldn’t do this to anyone who knew enough about him that they could even potentially expose him.

          When you date someone, you tend to learn things about them. Jennifer is a reporter, and as off-base as her speculations can be (hello, “Amazi-Sal”) she still has a very inquitive nature and it’s likely she’ll see something she wasn’t supposed to. Furthermore, as a reporter, Jennifer can easily make things known to large numbers of people. She, moreso than others, could very easily become a “liability.” The longer she dates him, the more danger she is in.

          • Some1
            Some1
            June 10, 2021 at 1:20 am | #

            I mean, even if his reason for killing Blaine was just because Blaine’s a monster, ordering a man shot in a hospital bed still doesn’t make you the good guy, at best that makes you an anti-hero.

            • misanthropope
              misanthropope
              June 10, 2021 at 6:29 pm | #

              “Good. Bad. I’m the guy with the guy with the gun”

          • Wagstaff
            Wagstaff
            June 10, 2021 at 2:05 am | #

            Even if that is Asher’s rationale, Jennifer’s apparent lack of alcoholism after the time skip means such escalation of danger might take much longer than usual for her.

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            June 10, 2021 at 3:22 am | #

            Asher FREELY ADMITTED he took the money to Sal. That’s not something to do if you’re trying to keep anybody from knowing too much. BLAINE was actively blackmailing him with the info. I know Jennifer is very good at bad decisions but she’s not QUITE good enough at bad choices to not realize publishing something that will get Asher dead in a ditch is a bad idea.

            • RassilonTDavros
              RassilonTDavros
              June 10, 2021 at 10:42 am | #

              Oh, Jennifer’s absolutely smart enough not to publish something that would get Asher killed. The question is whether Asher would trust her not to do it. Just knowing too much is enough to make her a potential liability in Asher’s eyes, whether or not she intends to publish.

              • BBCC
                BBCC
                June 10, 2021 at 12:45 pm | #

                “Just knowing too much” just isn’t true or he wouldn’t have told Sal. I think it depends who knows, how they know and what they intend to do about it. Blaine was an active threat, but he doesn’t have any problem with Sal knowing.

        • Wagstaff
          Wagstaff
          June 10, 2021 at 1:32 am | #

          Wait, you mean he bribed a cop?!?!

          • BBCC
            BBCC
            June 10, 2021 at 3:25 am | #

            The cop was mob. At best, Asher used old ‘family friends’ to be notified when Blaine was shot. At worst, he told said family friend to do it. Most likely, imo, is he texted grandpa to turn on channel 8 (or whatever) news and grandpa texted him to let him know when the inevitable happened. Because seriously, if Asher didn’t call in to let gramps know, it was only a matter of time. That shit made state news.

            • Wagstaff
              Wagstaff
              June 10, 2021 at 4:12 am | #

              Honestly, I didn’t even know a mob existed in DoA! Care to point me to some key comics to full me in?

              • Jenn
                Jenn
                June 10, 2021 at 6:18 am | #

                I don’t really have links to share, but it’s been brought up several times that Blaine is part of a mob, and I think we found out Asher was part of the same mob shortly after we met him. There’s a flashback of Mike figuring it out as a kid, and another one of him telling Amazi-girl (after he fell off a balcony) that some of the cops are “on the take.” At this point it’s pretty well established.

            • thejeff
              thejeff
              June 10, 2021 at 9:23 am | #

              Or, as I suspect, Gramps told him to contact Lester and have him handle it.

              I doubt he could have done it on his own – even if Lester would have taken an order from Asher without confirmation, he would have checked in at some point and Gramps would have learned about it. But I also suspect would have wanted to push him to do it, keeping him tied to the family.

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        June 10, 2021 at 12:20 am | #

        I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, even if he had no mob association or implied connections to Blaine’s death (which a lot of people actually really like him for) he still sold Sal out and setup that kidnapping scenario. He’ll always choose to sace his own skin even if he’s not really malicious or “evil”. He’s already done it twice, one more and it’s a pattern. It’s really convenient there’s always an excuse for him too. I may be wrong about him but I haven’t seen anything redeemable yet.

        • Meagan
          Meagan
          June 10, 2021 at 1:41 am | #

          Now that all this information has been laid out, I first thought “Oh Asher is dangerous,” but then I thought, actually maybe he is not that bad. It seems Blaine was blackmailing him and he really didn’t know how to get out of that without risking death – but as soon as he figured out a solution (have Blaine killed), he used it. I don’t think that what someone said above about him being ruthless to have someone threatening him killed is accurate. Self-defense (having someone killed who would potentially do something to have you killed, and is also threatening others) is not aggression.

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      June 10, 2021 at 12:52 am | #

      He’s the one character in the cast I don’t think I have a solid read on yet.

  4. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    June 10, 2021 at 12:06 am | #

    Slamber would be an excellent nickname if she decides to become a pro wrestler. Or play POGs professionally.

    • Wagstaff
      Wagstaff
      June 10, 2021 at 12:10 am | #

      And here come the Pog Champs….

    • Daibhid C
      Daibhid C
      June 10, 2021 at 7:45 am | #

      Or join a roller derby team.

  5. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    June 10, 2021 at 12:06 am | #

    Oooh, “Slamber”! I like it.

    Also I sense we’re about to get a flashback to Sal’s past with Asher.

  6. Jonah Sanville
    Jonah Sanville
    June 10, 2021 at 12:06 am | #

    aw man slamber is a GREAT roller derby name!! i hope we get to see what everyone elses are. i LOVE roller derby!!!

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      June 10, 2021 at 12:23 am | #

      I also approve.  Good derby name.  REALLY good derby name!

  7. Thag Simmons
    Thag Simmons
    June 10, 2021 at 12:07 am | #

    So something definitely happened with Sal and Asher over the timeskip?

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      June 10, 2021 at 12:10 am | #

      Maybe, but they’ve got so much history, it needn’t have. She’d probably be given pause regardless.

    • BBCC
      BBCC
      June 10, 2021 at 12:16 am | #

      Walky thought they had a thing before she was sent away (as much as its possible to have a thing at 12-13), so,…..maybe?

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        June 10, 2021 at 12:48 am | #

        It’s probably not very surprising that shit can happen at troublingly young ages, but lets choose to be idealistic about the world we live in. I feel like it’s a situation where they could’ve had a thing but missed out on it and it’s both their faults and they both know it. Like in a perfect world where Sal didn’t rob a convenience store and/or Asher didn’t rat her out, maybe they both just made slightly better choices, they’d be dating right now. But Sal knows she can’t trust him and that’s why she hans this tension when looking at him. He did admit to her that he stole his tuition money. A smart enough person can put some connections together.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          June 10, 2021 at 3:26 am | #

          I mean, ‘a thing’ doesn’t have to be age inappropriate. They were like….11 or 12. “A thing” probably means they hung out and skated together and sometimes held hands. Maybe even a middle school first kiss. Big whoop.

          • Sirksome
            Sirksome
            June 10, 2021 at 5:32 am | #

            Pffft. I’m so old now I’ve forgotten something like that would even be considered anything at all when you’re that young. It would be really funny if Sal is staring at him like that because she’s thinking about that one time they held hands in 5th grade!

            • BBCC
              BBCC
              June 10, 2021 at 12:48 pm | #

              It would be, but sadly I doubt that’s it.

      • thejeff
        thejeff
        June 10, 2021 at 9:29 am | #

        I don’t remember the exact language for that, but it’s possible that was just Walky misinterpreting a more casual relationship – or the events leading up to the robbery for that matter.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          June 10, 2021 at 5:24 pm | #

          Even the way he described it sounded pretty casual – “I think they might have had a thing? As much as you CAN have a thing when you’re like eleven or twelve anyway.”

    • zee
      zee
      June 10, 2021 at 10:40 am | #

      My money’s on they hooked up before he got with Billie. Or, even more drama, he’s hooking up with sal on the down low. Doubt that one’s it but it would be fun

      • Sirksome
        Sirksome
        June 10, 2021 at 11:01 am | #

        That doesn’t really seem like Sal. I could maybe believe Asher and she hooked up once before the time skip since they were both checking each other out, but Sal doesn’t seem like the type that would be cheating with somebody or be their side chick or whatever the kids are calling it. Especially not with the guy dating essentially her step-sister. And frankly I don’t think Asher really ranks high on the scale of guys Sal would bang at least not in the present. He’s got looks, but I actually think Danny would have a better chance than him.

  8. Sam
    Sam
    June 10, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

    D’aww. Jennifer came to watch and be supportive.

  9. Schpoonman
    Schpoonman
    June 10, 2021 at 12:08 am | #

    Oh, this is different.

  10. Spencer
    Spencer
    June 10, 2021 at 12:09 am | #

    come on and slamber

    and welcome to the jamber

    • King Daniel
      King Daniel
      June 10, 2021 at 12:17 am | #

      one hopes she’s not thrown off by the track’s camber

      • Bicycle Bill
        Bicycle Bill
        June 10, 2021 at 12:28 am | #

        Looks like flat-track derby, if today’s panel 1 (and the overhead view of the lineup for the start of the jam from Tuesday’s installment, ‘Slowpokes’) are anything to go by.

      • Ralph Oscar
        Ralph Oscar
        June 10, 2021 at 12:54 am | #

        Or by the rhythm or the timbre

        • Clif
          Clif
          June 10, 2021 at 1:41 am | #

          Timber. Tamber. Let’s call the whole thing off.

          • Edwin I Callahan
            Edwin I Callahan
            June 10, 2021 at 6:33 am | #

            Bring on the Cole Porter.

            • ValdVin
              ValdVin
              June 10, 2021 at 7:51 am | #

              I hate to say this because any mention of Cole Porter is enjoyed, but the brothers Gershwin wrote that one.

              • Clif
                Clif
                June 10, 2021 at 3:12 pm | #

                Cole Gershwin’s middle name was Porter.

                What?

                • milu
                  milu
                  June 10, 2021 at 5:16 pm | #

                  You say Porter, I say Gershwin
                  btw tomatoes are technically marsupials

  11. Johan
    Johan
    June 10, 2021 at 12:09 am | #

    That answers that. Lol

  12. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    June 10, 2021 at 12:10 am | #

    Don’t lose your nerve now, Sal.

  13. Cattleprod
    Cattleprod
    June 10, 2021 at 12:11 am | #

    I’m seeing the alt text plainly visible below the strip, yesterday’s isn’t doing that.

  14. Regalli
    Regalli
    June 10, 2021 at 12:11 am | #

    1) The comic is appearing in duplicate form for me right now, which is odd.
    2) Foreground redhead’s smile terrifies me for some reason, despite the Triangle Smile being just fine.

    • Regalli
      Regalli
      June 10, 2021 at 12:13 am | #

      Ah, no, formatting error’s gone now. All that’s left is Terrifying Smile Of Doom Person.

      They will consume my soul.

      • NotThatDrew
        NotThatDrew
        June 10, 2021 at 12:18 am | #

        And if anyone wants exposure to the Double Terrifying Smile Of Doom, managed to get a screenshot. Because I’m weird like that

        https://m.imgur.com/gallery/Eoyv8aN

        • Wagstaff
          Wagstaff
          June 10, 2021 at 12:22 am | #

          That’s odd. I actually got that too, but one of them displayed as a missing image with the alt text.

    • Spencer
      Spencer
      June 10, 2021 at 12:14 am | #

      That’s Becky and Kaitlin’s daughter from an alternate universe.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        June 10, 2021 at 12:18 am | #

        Actually, with the massive grin and apparent tooth-plate, she could be from a timeline where Becky and Joyce produce a daughter.

        Don’t tell Becky, or we’re gonna see her on the next episode of Loki.

      • RassilonTDavros
        RassilonTDavros
        June 10, 2021 at 1:02 am | #

        I mean, we know a ton of kids-from-the-future in a ton of universes went back in time to try to rescue their friends, and that a large number of them wound up in the wrong pasts, so that’s vaguely plausible. At the same time, though, I personally think that person looks a lot like Carla, and it seems unlikely to me that any version of UC or Carla would have kids. I think Foreground Redhead is probably related to Carla somehow, though.

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          June 10, 2021 at 1:11 am | #

          I don’t think Carla’s a natural redhead, drawing from Patreon strips showing her childhood (haven’t read them, but from what I remember of the preview panels showing her, she was blonde as a kid); that might weaken the “Carla’s Relative on the basis of hair color” theory.

          • RassilonTDavros
            RassilonTDavros
            June 10, 2021 at 1:15 am | #

            It’s not the hair color that makes me see a resemblance, it’s their facial features.

  15. BBCC
    BBCC
    June 10, 2021 at 12:13 am | #

    Awww, they came to see Sal skate.

  16. sultryglebe
    sultryglebe
    June 10, 2021 at 12:20 am | #

    I would totally buy that one crowd member as Carla’s mother.

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      June 10, 2021 at 1:03 am | #

      I would as well. Looks just like her!

    • Raen
      Raen
      June 10, 2021 at 1:22 am | #

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that, although I’d kind of expect her to be more dressed up.

    • Lorien Inksong
      Lorien Inksong
      June 10, 2021 at 2:46 am | #

      That was the vibe I got too from her, glad I’m not the only one.

      (Just let me focus on the theoretical supportive parent to my favorite roller derby destroyer.)

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      June 10, 2021 at 4:08 am | #

      Don’t buy people’s moms. It’s impolite.

      • Fist_of_Life
        Fist_of_Life
        June 10, 2021 at 7:37 am | #

        Exactly. You should make them pay you. One nickel to be precise.

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          June 10, 2021 at 11:27 am | #

          I thought the moms were paid a nickel? Or was that just Mike and Jennifer doing that?

          • thejeff
            thejeff
            June 10, 2021 at 2:59 pm | #

            It’s never been entirely clear which way the nickels go.
            Maybe he uses the nickels from some moms to pay the other ones.

            • Clif
              Clif
              June 10, 2021 at 3:14 pm | #

              Sometimes they use woodpeckers instead.

              • Delicious Taffy
                Delicious Taffy
                June 10, 2021 at 3:41 pm | #

                Please also do not pay people in woodpeckers. They’re not legal tender and it’s probably a felony somehow.

                • King Daniel
                  King Daniel
                  June 10, 2021 at 4:32 pm | #

                  Maybe, but I’ve seen people in the comments go on about nickles all the time.

  17. Carla's #2 Fan
    Carla's #2 Fan
    June 10, 2021 at 12:22 am | #

    One roller derby name down! *some number* to go to! How many players are on a team…?

    • TheKelliestKelly
      TheKelliestKelly
      June 10, 2021 at 12:28 am | #

      Up to 15 and at least 5. You need 5 players for a jam (which I guess is the equivalent of like, a quarter or an inning) and if you have extra you can switch players out between jams. I’m sure only the five players we’ve already met (Sal, Carla, Slamber, Marcie, and Malaya) will matter narratively.

    • Deanatay
      Deanatay
      June 10, 2021 at 10:30 am | #

      Gotcha covered:

      Malaya: Malady
      Carla: Starla
      Sal: Salacious
      Amber: Slamber (Slamazi-Girl!)
      Marcie: SBD (Silent But Deadly)

      • Stephen Bierce
        Stephen Bierce
        June 10, 2021 at 12:50 pm | #

        I was thinking “Salamangler” and “Marcieless”.

        • milu
          milu
          June 10, 2021 at 4:36 pm | #

          MaSlaya
          Carlup&die

          • Wagstaff
            Wagstaff
            June 10, 2021 at 9:48 pm | #

            I got it!

            EMBER!
            SALty!
            MARCenary!
            MALAYA Repulsa!

            • Wagstaff
              Wagstaff
              June 10, 2021 at 9:51 pm | #

              And last but not least, stARLA!

        • Carla's #2 Fan
          Carla's #2 Fan
          June 10, 2021 at 10:28 pm | #

          I vote for Salamangler!

        • Deanatay
          Deanatay
          June 13, 2021 at 9:13 am | #

          Oooo I like ‘Marcieless’

  18. TheKelliestKelly
    TheKelliestKelly
    June 10, 2021 at 12:23 am | #

    I really appreciate this strip cuz I read on Wikipedia that the pivot could do this, but I had trouble imagining what switching the star would look like. I assumed that star was a sticker and had no idea how you could get it off one helmet and on another quickly enough to keep playing. This makes more sense

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      June 10, 2021 at 12:32 am | #

      A cloth helmet cover, like on the early brain-buckets made for cycling.  They were basically just molded high-density foam (think ‘styrofoam on steroids’) and used a stretchable lycra cover instead of the hard-shell plastic on today’s versions.

  19. newlland(Henryvolt)
    newlland(Henryvolt)
    June 10, 2021 at 12:26 am | #

    So whose idea was it to come and be supportive?

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      June 10, 2021 at 4:06 am | #

      Yeah, whose bright idea was that?

  20. Kitschensyngk
    Kitschensyngk
    June 10, 2021 at 12:30 am | #

    WHAMB BAMB THANK YOU AMB

  21. Delicious Taffy
    Delicious Taffy
    June 10, 2021 at 12:31 am | #

    Really wanna download FF14 job and action icons and cobble together a really niche joke.

  22. MrSmith
    MrSmith
    June 10, 2021 at 12:32 am | #

    This is much better captaincy from Malaya

  23. AbacusWizard
    AbacusWizard
    June 10, 2021 at 12:38 am | #

    I continue to be increasingly glad that I took the time to read about how roller derby works a few days ago!

  24. Bicycle Bill
    Bicycle Bill
    June 10, 2021 at 12:45 am | #

    Noticed Amber’s number is 113 — which is the same number that keeps cropping up as an Easter egg in all the various Pixar movies.  It refers to the classroom (A-113) at the California Institute of the Arts used by John Lasseter, Brad Bird, and others.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      June 10, 2021 at 1:00 am | #

      Wait a fuckin’ minute

    • Ray Radlein
      Ray Radlein
      June 10, 2021 at 1:17 am | #

      Pixar Walkyverse movie CONFIRMED

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      June 10, 2021 at 1:21 am | #

      I posted that theory a few days ago but I don’t think it’s made it though moderation yet (there were a ton of links, since I was talking about everybody’s). I’ll add in addition that if the “A” from Amazi-Girl’s crimefighting outfit is added (in its orginal position) to her clothes here, it would indeed read “A113”!

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      June 10, 2021 at 4:09 am | #

      Didn’t notice that before. That’s interesting.

    • Martin Smith
      Martin Smith
      June 10, 2021 at 5:43 am | #

      I would have thought it’s more likely a reference to its frequent use in Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye and Lost Light.

      • Delicious Taffy
        Delicious Taffy
        June 10, 2021 at 3:40 pm | #

        I don’t think Willis is much into Transformers, though. Definitely not enough to know something so specific and use it as a reference.

        • Kella
          Kella
          June 10, 2021 at 3:51 pm | #

          It seems you haven’t read willi’s previous comic “Shortpacked.”

          Go to the comic’s site, check the left sidebar for the tag cloud, and click “transformers” which brings you to… 18 pages, 16 comics per page, tagged “transformers”.

          • milu
            milu
            June 10, 2021 at 4:50 pm | #

            They were clowning Kella =)
            Willis tweets about Transformers ALL. THE. GODDANG TIME

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 10, 2021 at 7:31 am | #

      All the protagonists’ numbers are meaningful references to something relevant.

      Marcie’s 71, the year her namesake was introduced in Peanuts.
      Carla’s 87, the year Ultra Car was originally conceptualized.
      I think Sal’s 93 because that’s when she started showing up in sketches.

      Not sure what Malaya’s 11 refers to. These are all half-remembered from when their character models went up on Twitter, and thanks to its transient nature I haven’t found them again yet.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        June 10, 2021 at 8:30 am | #

        Okay, Malaya must be #11 because that’s when she was introduced in Shortpacked!. (I could’ve sworn it was earlier than that.)

    • Demoted Oblivious
      Demoted Oblivious
      June 10, 2021 at 4:14 pm | #

      Well thank you TK421 fo leaving your post. Now there is another number I will never not see.

  25. Megan Rivera
    Megan Rivera
    June 10, 2021 at 12:45 am | #

    “Slamber”

    I love it

  26. Nono
    Nono
    June 10, 2021 at 12:52 am | #

    Is Amber… crying? Mascara running?

    • Flame Warp
      Flame Warp
      June 10, 2021 at 12:57 am | #

      I think it’s some (sloppy) blue face-paint to make Amazi-girl’s mask, considering the tagging. Surprised that when she spoke a couple strips back it wasn’t the blue text bubble, though.

      • King Daniel
        King Daniel
        June 10, 2021 at 1:02 am | #

        Amazi-Girl didn’t start doing the Blue Voice until about one and a half (real-life) years after her introduction – it started out as a way to throw off Danny, specifically, from figuring out that she shared a body with Amber.

        • King Daniel
          King Daniel
          June 10, 2021 at 1:06 am | #

          (Amazi-Girl has also used regular speech bubbles on more recent occasions; this incident is one example that comes to mind.)

      • Leadsynth
        Leadsynth
        June 10, 2021 at 7:20 am | #

        Maybe she can’t do the deep-Batman-voice thing while derbying, because it’s low and growly and would get lost in the noise in the court and make it hard for teammates to hear.

  27. brionl
    brionl
    June 10, 2021 at 1:01 am | #

    A couple of years ago, I worked with a young guy who looked just like Fred Savage. When I told him that he said “Who?”

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      June 10, 2021 at 4:06 am | #

      In that youngster’s defense, I had to look up who Fred Savage was, and it turns out I haven’t seen a single thing he’s been in. I recognise a few popular titles, but that’s it.

      • Keulen
        Keulen
        June 10, 2021 at 4:12 am | #

        I didn’t know who he was until I looked him up as well. I’m pretty sure the only thing he’s been in that I’ve seen is The Princess Bride.

        • Delicious Taffy
          Delicious Taffy
          June 10, 2021 at 6:30 am | #

          Was the the princess in that, or was he the bride?

          • JBento
            JBento
            June 10, 2021 at 6:47 am | #

            He was the The.

            • milu
              milu
              June 10, 2021 at 9:52 am | #

              🏆

  28. Bagge
    Bagge
    June 10, 2021 at 1:07 am | #

    Slamber!

    • foducool
      foducool
      June 10, 2021 at 5:50 am | #

      ngl it sounds way better than Amazi-Girl

  29. WanderingLynx
    WanderingLynx
    June 10, 2021 at 1:17 am | #

    1- Slamber is a fucking delightful name and so is the almost manic grin on her and Sal’s faces. They still get to be badasses together ;A; I’d ship it if Sal wasn’t Voice-of-Willis confirmed straight. And Malaya knows they make for a good team which… makes her more competent than I thought?

    2- Asher, what are you even doing there? “Jennifer going to support Sal” is something I could maaaaybe buy, but them appearing there together…? This match has been turned into something plot-heavy isn’t it. We have two different words for “free” in Spanish: “Gratis” as in “free food” and “Libre” as in “not jailed”; and the “As Long As It’s Free” title is giving me #Vibes I can’t define.

    • Wagstaff
      Wagstaff
      June 10, 2021 at 1:26 am | #

      I know, right! Moxy ahoy!!!

      • WanderingLynx
        WanderingLynx
        June 11, 2021 at 1:56 am | #

        I WISH WE HAD GOTTEN TO SEE MORE OF THIS MATCH ;A;

    • Sam
      Sam
      June 10, 2021 at 2:13 am | #

      ??? I am finding it baffling that people are actually confused by why Asher is there. Asher is Jennifer’s boyfriend and likely her ride there and back. It isn’t that uncommon for partners to take someone places… and hang out with them there or to just go with them to stuff sometimes??? Like, Jennifer probably gets a lift from his practically everywhere because he has a motorcycle and looking cool matters to her.

      • Rabid Rabbit
        Rabid Rabbit
        June 10, 2021 at 4:16 am | #

        Or — and here’s a really wild theory — maybe Asher enjoys watching roller derby.

        • Azhrei Vep
          Azhrei Vep
          June 10, 2021 at 6:26 am | #

          Yeah! Maybe he’s not there with Jennifer. Maybe Jennifer’s there with him.

          • WanderingLynx
            WanderingLynx
            June 11, 2021 at 2:00 am | #

            I mean, I’d be readier to believe Asher likes roller derby than Jennifer (for some reason?) But even if it’s a coincidence they’re there together, I expect their appearance wasn’t done just to fill panel space. So it’s more of a “what consequences this is going to bring?” wondering.

            … Well, that, and that I don’t trust either people in that couple :’)

      • hof1991
        hof1991
        June 10, 2021 at 8:58 am | #

        He’s there for the same reason as everyone else. Because the plot requires it.

        • milu
          milu
          June 10, 2021 at 9:56 am | #

          It was written.

    • Sombrero
      Sombrero
      June 10, 2021 at 7:44 am | #

      The provisional title for the storyline included the word “revenge”, so I’m going with libre.

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        June 10, 2021 at 12:47 pm | #

        Both titles are lyrics from ‘Bad Romance’

        • milu
          milu
          June 10, 2021 at 4:41 pm | #

          but surely the actual words in the title are significant as well, not merely as a reference to the song.

        • WanderingLynx
          WanderingLynx
          June 11, 2021 at 1:55 am | #

          Yeah, I know /o/ But Willis doesn’t just stick titles on randomly – They go from “relevant to the overall feel of the narrative” during the chapter at minimum, to “relevant to as many characters on the arc as it can fit”.

          • milu
            milu
            June 11, 2021 at 11:00 am | #

            agree, agree. i was responding to Thag whose comment i took to (maybe) mean “don’t think about it too hard, it’s just a reference to the song either way” =)

    • zee
      zee
      June 10, 2021 at 10:48 am | #

      Well y’see, when you have a romantic partner, you tend to take them places with you because you enjoy their company and sharing experiences with them. Typically, this is referred to as a “date”.

      Seriously how is it confusing that Billie took her boyfriend somewhere with her?

      • WanderingLynx
        WanderingLynx
        June 11, 2021 at 1:51 am | #

        To Roller Derby, tho? I can’t remember her ever expressing an interest on it. At most, she was aware of hockey because Ruth was masochist enough to stick with the Leafs.

  30. Ray Radlein
    Ray Radlein
    June 10, 2021 at 1:19 am | #

    Amber is to Sal’s right, which means Sal is looking past Amber to see Asher and Jennifer. Hope she doesn’t drift to the right and into Amber’s skating line

  31. JessWitt
    JessWitt
    June 10, 2021 at 2:05 am | #

    Oh no Sal, don’t get distracted. Otherwise she’ll be on the receiving end of a tirade from Malaya.

    • Delicious Taffy
      Delicious Taffy
      June 10, 2021 at 4:01 am | #

      But there’s hot people over there.

      • Needfuldoer
        Needfuldoer
        June 10, 2021 at 7:15 am | #

        But are they fakey?

        • Delicious Taffy
          Delicious Taffy
          June 10, 2021 at 1:46 pm | #

          Honestly kinda

          • milu
            milu
            June 10, 2021 at 4:43 pm | #

            just look at them.

            • JessWitt
              JessWitt
              June 10, 2021 at 10:30 pm | #

              Très fakey.

  32. Rabisch
    Rabisch
    June 10, 2021 at 4:58 am | #

    Sal may get distracted by Asher’s presence and lose… SAL! GO GO GO!!!! STAY FOCUS!

  33. Thomas
    Thomas
    June 10, 2021 at 5:43 am | #

    This is already very fun for a storyline about a sport that I know nothing about! (Which is to say: all sports.) Is there a ball involved in all this? /jk

    • Jhon
      Jhon
      June 10, 2021 at 10:49 am | #

      If a ball appears on the track, the refs need to tweep a time-out.

      • brionl
        brionl
        June 10, 2021 at 11:22 am | #

        Depends on if it’s a bludger, or the snitch.

        • Clif
          Clif
          June 10, 2021 at 3:20 pm | #

          Pretty sure that some of the characters are enjoying it and having a ball.

  34. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    June 10, 2021 at 7:15 am | #

    This is a much better Sal-Malaya interaction than yesterday. Sal relaying relevant information, Malaya concocting strategy as team captain / pivot and assigning Sal and Amaziber to execute it. Yesterday we just had defensive bickering and Malayasplaining, neither of which are productive.

  35. Daibhid C
    Daibhid C
    June 10, 2021 at 7:44 am | #

    I’m surprised Amazi-Girl has a roller derby name that’s a pun on “Amber”. I’m not going to speculate as to it’s significance or whether it’s good or bad, I’m just surprised.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 10, 2021 at 8:38 am | #

      If she’s still wanted for questioning, it’s easier to fly under the radar by not using the famous alias.

      It may have been Amber driving when they signed up, too. The cheek blushes are present in the “we came to enlist” strip.

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2018/comic/book-9-comic/01-flyin-to-the-red/enlist/

      • David M Willis
        David M Willis
        June 10, 2021 at 8:12 pm | #

        Yeah, it’s Amber who signed up, and it’s “Amber” who plays, so far as anyone but Sal knows. But it’s Amazi-Girl who’s driving.

        • Wagstaff
          Wagstaff
          June 10, 2021 at 11:42 pm | #

          Ah, split personality. German philosophers knew the phenomena quite well.

          Considering the situation, it’s not a wonder Amazi-Girl has the wheel!

  36. Sombrero
    Sombrero
    June 10, 2021 at 7:45 am | #

    LET’S – GO – SLAM – BER!!!!

  37. Björn
    Björn
    June 10, 2021 at 8:11 am | #

    Considering the teams’ colors, I keep expecting all the players to combine to form Devastator!

  38. thumb
    thumb
    June 10, 2021 at 9:01 am | #

    I wonder if Sal’s gonna put more force into . . . attack? tackle? I know not . . . then she intends.

  39. Colineo
    Colineo
    June 10, 2021 at 9:17 am | #

    I don’t really understand the rules of roller derby, but did that one girl take off her helmet to reveal a second helmet?

    • thejeff
      thejeff
      June 10, 2021 at 9:37 am | #

      The star symbol is on a cloth covering over the helmet so it can be passed to the pivot – making her into the jammer.

  40. darkoneko
    darkoneko
    June 10, 2021 at 9:29 am | #

    aw crap

  41. FacelessDeviant
    FacelessDeviant
    June 10, 2021 at 9:37 am | #

    Face-plant in 3-2-1…

  42. hoop
    hoop
    June 10, 2021 at 9:55 am | #

    lol #113 niiiiiiiice

  43. Alex
    Alex
    June 10, 2021 at 12:26 pm | #

    Yeah that’s Amazi-Girl for sure.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      June 10, 2021 at 1:43 pm | #

      No blushes = Maise is driving.
      Blushes = Amber is driving.

      Bear behind wheel = bear is driving how can this be?

      • Clif
        Clif
        June 10, 2021 at 3:23 pm | #

        The bear is a double dipper.

      • Alex
        Alex
        June 10, 2021 at 4:46 pm | #

        The expression is what sold me.

  44. Spencer
    Spencer
    June 10, 2021 at 1:28 pm | #

    Girl in panel 2 has Johnny Joestar’s hat.

  45. crow
    crow
    June 10, 2021 at 1:46 pm | #

    I wanna know everyone’s derby names! Also, where are the older ladies? Is this a college league?

  46. Nick
    Nick
    June 10, 2021 at 4:27 pm | #

    Yeah so, this is something I’ve been wondering ever since we saw that Jennifer was dating Asher. Does she not know about his part in screwing up Sal and Walky’s childhoods, or does she just not care?

    • Sam
      Sam
      June 10, 2021 at 8:23 pm | #

      Probably does not know. Sal worked it out. Asher had to tell Walky. Jennifer didn’t even know she had held up two stores according to one of the first strips Sal showed up in, so she likely knows even less than Walky did.

      • Nick
        Nick
        June 11, 2021 at 1:13 am | #

        Yeah, but when Wally saw them together, did he not TELL her? Like, “Hey, just so you know, that guy’s a huge asshole, so you might want to think twice about dating him?”

  47. Croissant
    Croissant
    June 10, 2021 at 4:49 pm | #

    Besides the fact that Asher is there, Jennifer looks so cute 🥺 I love her with short hair.

  48. Darkseide
    Darkseide
    June 10, 2021 at 8:11 pm | #

    Poor Jammers

    • Darkseide
      Darkseide
      June 10, 2021 at 8:21 pm | #

      Man, i just looked up the rules for Roller Derby and I can’t comprehend it.

      • Jammy
        Jammy
        June 11, 2021 at 10:34 am | #

        Other than the infractions that send people to the penalty box (Power Jam!), the basics aren’t that bad, but it’s much easier to understand if you can watch it happen.

  49. Jammy
    Jammy
    June 11, 2021 at 10:36 am | #

    I was waiting for the strip that explained if the jammer and pivot symbols were the normal sleeves or if they had been painted onto the helmets. I highly appreciate the detail, even if the story forced Willis to draw sports.

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